Here comes the second chapter of the day, please review!
And enjoy, of course.
As I expected, my dorm is empty when I reach it, even though there were two girls from my Year in the Common Room. I quickly retrieve some clean clothes from my trunk before going to the shower. I deactivate my Glamours once I'm under the water and I made sure that nobody's around. A glance at my right arms confirms that the climbing session re-opened a wound. I don't waste time on it, though, and rather finish washing myself quickly.
Once I'm dressed I realize that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my dirty clothes.I don't really want to spend more time than necessary in the dorm and that I'm not going to ask my mates for help. I decide to temporarily tidy my dirty clothes inside my trunk, and to ask a Prefect for help at some point. When I stand back up, a little detail bothers me, but I don't have the time to think about what it is, because I hear noise in the stairs. I don't feel like having a new confrontation with my classmates.
I come across Faith, the red-haired girl, in the stairs, with one of her friends. They sneer when they see me, but don't do anything more. I leave the common room with relief and a Tempus confirms to me that it'll be soon time to eat, so I go down to the Great Hall. I sit at the end of the Slytherin table and open one of the novels I brought with me. I'd rather avoid letting the people see that I'm reading Third Year spellbooks. After about ten minutes, to my surprise, Scorpius' group joins me. They apparently spent their afternoon training with the Gliding spell and they found a slope near the castle that they absolutely want to show me. Severus proudly shows off the bruise he got from meeting a tree with a little too much momentum. Eva herself, who I barely saw smiling until now, tells us how she almost fell into the Dark Lake after having gained too much speed on the slope.
I have some fun with them, although I would have rather liked to read in peace. They're nice, but they remain children, with childish concerns and thoughts. That distances me from them for everything that is not about playing. Later, I notice Ewald and Arthur sitting at the Ravenclaw table, and I realize I would have rather sat with them… Well, anyway, I eat quickly and slip out of the Great Hall as fast as I can, aiming for my new bedroom. While climbing the stairs leading me to the last floor I take the time to observe the different paths. I think about what places look interesting to explore, and I enjoy being alone at last. To be fair, it's not even unpleasant to spend some time with Ewald and Arthur, or with Scorpius and his friends, even. But spending over half the day having social interactions made me tired. Additionally, it wouldn't be good if any of those I just named were getting too attached to me. Even if I guess that for Arthur it's probably too late…
I eventually reach my turett and climb the old ladder to access my "bedroom". But when I reach the top, I stop. My mattress disappeared. Someone came, and stole it. For a moment, anger and panic take over me. Anger that someone dared touching my stuff, panic because how did someone follow me there? I thought I was safe! How naive of me… That's at this very moment that I realize what caught my attention in the dorm earlier. My bed was made, the curtains open. But who could have stolen my mattress just to put it back into place? I must have hallucinated. Nevertheless I have nothing better to do, the thief hasn't left any trace of its passage except for my mattress' disparition, and I head back to the dorm to see if I'm right.
Soon, I'm in the corridors again, running in direction of my Common Room, my mind racing. I only slow down when I see teachers at the corner of some stairs, and start running again as soon as they're out of my sight. I reach the Fat Lady's portraits, slowing down reluctantly. I find the Common Room filled with people and I meander among the lions to reach the stairs to my dorm. When I finally arrive in front of my bed, it's carefully made, its curtains are open and my bedsheets are impeccably tucked. I don't move for a few seconds, oblivious of the kids around me, because I don't understand. Why would someone have followed me to my tower just to steal my mattress and tidy it like that? I come back to my senses rather quickly, my reflexes helping me out. I lie down in my bed and I draw the curtains, as if nothing special had happened, as if everything was normal. Since when is anything normal in my life?
No matter how hard I think about the problem, I just can't understand who is behind this. I feel that I'm missing something, but I can't find what. It's overly frustrating. In desperation I end up putting on my night clothes and try to focus on a novel. I eventually get caught in my book. Pierre Botterot truly has a unique style of writing. His words, it's poetry. I already read his work back when I was still called Aurore, but reading them now doesn't take anything away from it. Again, I'm sad he died, without finishing to link all his stories, and without having the time to forge more of them. I keep reading, following Ellana's adventures until my eyes start closing on their own, and it's only then that I carefully tidy my book inside my trunk, enjoying the silence of the dorm where everyone finally sleeps.
xxx
For once I fall asleep rather easily, but when I open my eyes again I have the feeling that less than one hour has gone past. I don't feel well here. Uncomfortable. There's too many children surrounding me that I dislike. I'm sweating, I try to calm down, but I'm suffocating. I lie in my bed for two good hours, eyes wide open in the dark, before giving up. I silently stand up and retrieve my course material from my trunk after checking my schedule. Today, I'll have Herbology, Charms and Transfiguration. The tempus I cast confirms to me that I have a lot of time before the sun will rise. It's barely three in the morning. Lost for lost, I miniaturize my mattress again as well as my cover, slip them inside my bag and leave the dorm without waking anyone up.
The stairs to the Common Room let out some cracks under my feet, and despite the precautions I take, I hope no one will hear me. Lucky for me, if that's the case they won't have enough time to catch me. I sneak through the opening of the Fat Lady painting. She protests a bit, but not too loudly, luckily… She must have seen it all, guarding the GryffinDOOR! I thank her anyway, even if it feels weird talking politely to a painting. But who knows, it might put her in good dispositions towards me…?
I walk in the dark, moon lit corridors as silently as I can. The castle, so alive at day, is now plunged into silence, broken only by the sound of the wind and of the nocturnal birds. Even the paintings stay quiet. The darkness creates new shapes in the corridors and the obscure classrooms. The dark almost feels palpable. I don't encounter any obstacle on my way to the tower, and eventually reach the cupboard hiding the last corridor. There, everything is completely dark, and I start to feel some uncertainty deep inside me. I remain there for a second, reluctant to step forward, at the entrance. I push down the instinctive fear trying to rise inside me. What could happen anyway? Getting assaulted? Raped? Too bad! Maybe getting killed? That's all I'm asking for. And I shouldn't exist anyway after all. I belong to the darkness. I know that what is scary is only the unknown, to not even know whether one is threatened… But anyway, those fears don't make sense. I slip inside the tight corridor, pushing my worries away to melt into the darkness, where my place is. And soon enough, I feel good there. I belong to the darkness.
I climb gropingly into the attic, where I install my mattress before snuggling into bed. Oddly enough, I fall asleep instantly. I wake up rested, and a Tempus tells me I'm about to miss the beginning of my first class, which instantly destroys all well-being I could have felt. I run through the castle, almost spraining an ankle in the staircases, losing ten points when Mac Gonagall stops abruptly my mad dash. I arrive fifteen minutes late in the greenhouse, and Longbottom scolds me, even if he lets out a comprehensive grin when I tell him I got lost.
There's no more trouble during this class, as well as in Charms. At the end of the morning, as I walk back to my turret to check if my bed is still there, I learnt two things. First, I still like plants and I will love Flitwick's class. However, like in my previous life, I like plants… Growing in the wild, but taking care of them still isn't my cup of tea. I always hated cutting branches, for instance, hurting plants. But here, in the Wizarding World, it's even possible that they fight back! Second thing is that Charms, on the other hand, are just pleasant, creative. I love the way my magic pulses to answer to my command. It's an exhilarating feeling to succeed at casting a spell. Way less than flying, of course, but I enjoy it.
xxx
My mood gets soured again as soon as I reach my attic. Once again, no trace of my mattress can be found. I remain calm, though, and walk back to my dorm. I find it empty, since everyone must be eating. My bed, again, is perfectly tucked. I don't understand. Who does that? I wonder if I should carry my mattress back to my turret, but I can't find the motivation in me. Plus I have Transfiguration this afternoon, and I won't be able to watch over my bed (no matter how stupid this concept sounds). Instead I rather go to the Great Hall in order to get some food inside me. I see Ewald and Arthur sitting at the green and silver table, and I join them after a brief hesitation. I'm rewarded by a nod from Ewald and a bright smile from Arthur, who asks me why he didn't see me at breakfast. I say I didn't hear my alarm, and he gently mocks me. It doesn't last, though, probably cause he noticed I wasn't in the mood, so he starts a conversation with Ewald about some Transfiguration homework and I don't even try to follow. I totally lost track of what's going on, and am confused when I see Arthur standing up, only ten minutes after I arrived.
Ewald notices my confused look and explains "He has Divination.". I nod and keep on eating. It does me some good. After a few minutes, though, I notice Ewald is still there although he finished eating. He seems to be waiting for me. To dispel my embarrassment, I ask him what options he took. Runes and Arithmancy. In other words, he truly is a serious dude. That being said, I admit that Runes might be interesting. When I'm done eating I stand up and Ewald follows me. We walk to the library without really consulting each other. His presence is still a source of tension for me, but I'm more comfortable now than a few days ago already. In fact, I think I appreciate him. It'd just be better if I wasn't feeling like he was watching every detail, and that he's dangerous for me.
We pick a secluded table close to a window. I start doing my Charms homework, but I'm not really in the mood for this and I'm not able to focus, so I end up pulling a novel from my bag. I stop just before taking Ellana: the book is in French, and I'm not supposed to know this language. Ewald slips me an intrigued look, and I show him the cover. I picked Artemis Fowl, from Eoin Colfer (yes, I always go around with two or three novels with me). He doesn't know it, of course. It's a Muggle novel. I tell him a bit about the story, and he explains that he doesn't really read novels. Apparently, he only knows some classics, and even then, not many! Nevertheless he already read some Muggle thrillers that he found interesting, but I feel that he mostly uses reading to learn… I feel bad for him.
Eventually the time comes for me to go to my Transfiguration classes and I leave Ewald, who doesn't have any classes left today. He's working on a presentation for History of Magic. I arrive on time, the Slytherin having told me which path to follow and I nervously wait, unable to read anymore. Scorpius and his group arrive a few minutes after me, but we're only about ten pupils when the teacher arrives. The others must have gotten lost. To that I have to say that the Transfiguration room is at the end of a crooked corridor that looks like it's a dead end. Without knowing where it is, it's not easy to find. We take our seats, directed by Hestia Jones, the Transfiguration teacher. She is also Head of Hufflepuff, apparently. She leaves the door open to wait for everyone to arrive, and I observe her while the latecomers finally arrive. She is rather small, brown-haired, and her clothes look strict. Despite that, she gives an impression of kindness. The class eventually starts, and my first impressions are confirmed: Even if she looks nice, Jones is able to hold a class. She starts by asking us to get something to write, and after introducing us to her subject she asks us what security rules we think there is to follow.
I raise my hand, like I did in Potions, and when she lets me talk I make a list of everything I can think about. I can hear some annoyed mutters and Scorpius, on my left, rolls his eyes.
"You could leave some things for the others…" he whispers.
I shrug. I won't limit myself for them. Jones gives me twenty points before carrying on with her class. I'm doing rather well, especially after the head start I took, but I clearly have no affinity with the subject. It's not uninteresting, but there are too many rules and it's too strange. I don't have that feeling of freedom Charms give me.
When I leave the room, I'm surprised to find Ewald and Arthur waiting for me. They want to show me one of their favorite boardgames. Apparently it takes three people to play, so they thought of me. The kids from my group stare at me when I leave with the Seven Years, but I ignore them. I'm reluctant to admit it, but I'm glad that they came. We find ourselves a quiet room and they start explaining to me their game, a sort of weird asymmetrical strategic thing (two against one). It is played with cards that have a lot of different effects that can combine. The fun part is that one doesn't know with whom they're playing for most of the game. The idea is interesting, but I stop following after an hour of explanations, even if I do my best to understand. There are too many rules, exceptions, and counter-examples. In the end we don't have enough time to play a real game before the meal, but the boys make me promise to do another session or learning/playing this weekend. Urggh.
It's only after my shower, in the evening, that I realize that I still don't know what to do with my laundry. I go to the Common Room to ask a prefect, and he simply answers
"Just put it on the ground, the House Elf responsible for your dorm will take care of it. You'll find it clean and folded on your bed the day after."
I'm so fucking dumb. A House Elf! Of course! I almost forget to thank the prefect, and climb hurriedly back to my dorm, closing my bed curtains. Tomorrow, I'll have to see if I can find the Kitchen… I need to ask the House Elf responsible for my dorm if he has something to do with the unwanted migrations of my mattress.
xxx
Le goût du sang dans ma bouche
Plus jamais rien ne me touche
Le goût de l'acier sur ma langue
Me renfermer dans ma gangue
Le rouge du sang sur ma peau
Cicatrices de mes maux
Le froid de l'acier sur mon bras
La solitude mène mes pas
La hantise du sang dans mes rêves
Pour dire que je me bats sans trêve
Le poids de l'acier dans ma main
Prête à tuer maintenant ou demain*
x
*The taste of blood in my mouth
Nothing touches me anymore
The taste of steel on my tongue
Shutting myself inside my shell
The red of blood on my skin
Scars of my pain
The cold of the steel on my arm
Loneliness guides my steps
Blood haunting me in my dreams
To say that I'm fighting unceasingly
The weight of the steel in my hand
Ready to kill now or tomorrow
-Extract from Vivian-Eris' blue notebook-
I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if so please let me know!