Sitting in the confessional, Brooke was finally ready to hear Lucas' revelations... Her heart was beating fast.
LUCAS : Actually, it hasn't been seven years, sorry, I'm so used to lying... It's even become a reflex. I can't even tell the lie from the truth sometimes... That was two years ago, only two years ago.
The atmosphere was even heavier and more oppressive all of a sudden... Lucas pulled himself together and decided to start over.
LUCAS : Do you remember when I told you that my parents died before I became a priest?
Brooke murmured in agreement, remembering the awkward conversation in the bar with Nathan.
LUCAS : One night, my parents died in what seemed, on the surface, to be a trivial car accident. It wasn't one, Brooke, and the worst part is that they also took my little brother... Chris. My mother and him are simple and innocent collateral victims of... my father's murder!
Even if she didn't see it, Brooke clearly guessed the pain and sadness that transcended Lucas' voice at that moment. Faced with his silence, she didn't want to rush him but tried to help him reveal more.
BROOKE : Who murdered them? And why?
LUCAS : Members of the Little Bar... The Little Bar gang, our enemies from the South... Organized crime, Brooke.
BROOKE : Mafiosi, right?
LUCAS : That's right, Brooke, the Corsican mafia. And my father was one of the great figures of the great enemy, the Sea Breeze.
BROOKE : I'm sorry you lost your parents, and especially your little brother... In such a truly atrocious and brutal way... So that's why you left?
LUCAS : No... Even if I would have preferred that it was grief that condemned me to exile... It's even more complicated. This assassination was a declaration of war, a war that was only going to break out even more violently... Me and my two brothers, we had to participate, it was more than obvious... It was revenge, for honor. We were going to avenge my mother and Chris... And my father. And we were going to do it all together, the whole gang... My older brother, Felix, immediately took command of the other godfathers of the Sea Breeze. You know, I had a lot of brothers, cousins, uncles... But my real family was even more extended. Because there is also mafia blood in my veins and a code of honor to respect, an indissoluble code... This fucking code of honor, the most destructive and devastating of all! This unbearable intergenerational cycle that condemns you to a fate that cannot be escaped. Whatever you do, you know what dire fate you will be doomed to... The question remains whether it is death or prison. The time had come to avenge them. And the worst part is that I was convinced of it, blinded, Brooke... I was nothing more than a beast... a monster thirsty for blood and vengeance, ready to do and render justice to himself. The settling of scores was taking place, we wanted to strike a big blow, bring the gang of the South to its knees... All this, according to our own law, namely the unique law of the mafia which is the only one we respect. And then, we struck... It was violent, bloody and even barbaric... We had to kill, Brooke, to avenge them.
His words seemed almost unreal to Brooke, relating a reality that was unknown to her, but that seemed so raw coming from Lucas. She had trouble imagining him as a bloodthirsty killer... A feeling of disgust mixed with fear took hold of her entire being.
BROOKE : You... you killed people?
A silence settled on the other side of the confessional. Lucas knew he had to go through with his confession.
LUCAS : Always cold-blooded and always to respect the values in which I grew up or to protect my own. Unexplained suicides, accidents, sudden disappearances... That's how we did it. You have to understand that I was rocked in the mafia culture from the cradle, a culture of control and violence. All my childhood and adolescence, I wanted my father to be proud of me, like my brothers. I don't want to lie to you, this status of power even has a rather perverse power of seduction when you become a man... We are immersed in a system of power and a status that simply imposes our name and our belonging. I grew up learning to hide my emotions to avoid and anticipate future risks of betrayal, empathy... But Brooke, you have to believe me, I am no longer that man... I am no longer part of this world... I think I would rather die than return to this hell, this gilded cage that poisons you.
Brooke tried to believe him with all her might and to analyze the sound of his voice, which was nevertheless full of sincerity... She would even swear she could feel his throat tighten and the vibrato of his words that made him suffer with each word spoken. She told herself that the man she had known had, in fact, nothing to do with the man he had been in his past.
BROOKE : So, why did you come here? You're absolutely not a priest, are you...? Are you at least a believer?
A new, almost unbearable silence separated their heavy hearts and their respective disillusionments.
LUCAS : To answer that, you must know the second part of my story and that of some of my people...
BROOKE : I'm listening, Lucas.
LUCAS : My family is Catholic and I was raised with these beliefs... Without really being interested in them that much. Several weeks after this vendetta, I realized that my pain had still not dissipated... on the contrary. I realized that all this would not give me back my brother whose life had been taken, his life that was only just beginning... I then hoped that he and my mother were in heaven, that they had been welcomed by Almighty God, up there... It was a small consolation but it was the only one that soothed me a little... And I prayed, too. I prayed for them and to escape this world that I no longer wanted, this life that I refused to lead like this... Until... Until I surprised Rachel, my sister-in-law, talking to a man in her garden. He wasn't a Corsican, he wasn't one of us, he wasn't someone I trusted. I didn't tell my brother because I never know how Felix might react and how far he's capable of going... Felix is a mafioso, a real one, he has it in his blood and in his guts.
Boroke just made little murmurs to show his interest and invite him to continue... Without anything more.
LUCAS : One summer morning, I visited Rachel... I knew my brother wouldn't be there. And I questioned her... She pretended there was nothing to tell but I knew she was lying and trying to hide something. It drove me so crazy that she wouldn't confide in me, that I did something really horrible... I threatened to tell Felix everything if she didn't tell me the truth... I would never have done it of course... I played the arrogant mafioso to get what I wanted. And she collapsed in my arms. I'm not proud of it but at least she confessed everything to me... She was going to leave with her children far, far away. The man she had met was a religious man, but also a member of an anti-mafia association. He offered to help her escape to start a life elsewhere, she was so hesitant... I spoke with Rachel, she dreamed of it but she was also so afraid, she knew what Felix would be capable of. So, I convinced her to accept this proposal... To find the courage to leave for freedom. I understood, in her pleading eyes, that she wanted the protection of a man, a powerful man to help her. So, I accepted... For her, for the children, for my brother, for my mother... For me, too. I understood that it would be my way to redeem myself for all the horrors committed... My redemption. It wasn't easy, but I'm still convinced that it was the best decision I've ever made... Especially since she could never have organized her departure without me because she was too terrified, especially by Felix... We had to act quickly... Rachel also convinced Anna, my other sister-in-law, my brother Clay's wife. We had to hide and then we were taken out of Corsica. The knot in their stomachs never left them. I made the choice to protect them, to make sure they settled in and were safe... And also to betray my family. I had to make sure that my brothers would never find him, and that the children could grow up peacefully. And then, I left... Condemned to a life of exile, me too. But I didn't have any children to protect, just my life and the satisfaction of having helped these women and their children. I have not seen them again... But I know that they are still torn, they must live in perpetual anxiety. Living with the weight of their husband's betrayal for the sake of what had to be done for the children. Knowing that if they were to be found... Death will be more enjoyable than the fate that will be reserved for them. They deserve all my admiration for having dared to make this choice and offer their children a life worthy of them. My nieces and nephews may no longer have a father but they finally have real possibilities for the future.
Brooke remained silent... Silent with surprise and admiration for his courage, his determination and his selflessness. She swallowed as shivers ran through her body as she felt so turned around and troubled by his revelations.
LUCAS : And me... Well, as you know, this is where I landed... The religious who helped us was a friend of the Abbot. I'll spare you the details, but they agreed that I would be welcomed at the Abbey and would pass myself off as a priest. I committed the supreme act of treason... I kidnapped my brothers' wives and children and abandoned them. That's why I took refuge in the faith, even more than before... I needed to atone for my sins.
Lucas stopped his monologue again... Brooke heard him breathe in and out for a long time on the other side.
LUCAS : And to tell you the truth... There's still something I need to correct... My age.
Brooke frowned in confusion as she waited for him to continue.
LUCAS : I... I'm not thirty-four, Brooke. I'm only going to be thirty in a few weeks...
BROOKE : Why do you have to lie about that?
LUCAS : Because any priest has to have been a seminarian in theology for at least five years, Brooke...
Brooke understood the moment he answered her... He had obviously never followed the necessary studies for his fake position.
BROOKE : I can understand that you have to fool everyone... And it's clear that you're doing it very well. But there's something I don't understand... If you're not a priest... Why did you resist like you did?
LUCAS : To you, you mean?
BROOKE : Yes. To me, to temptation, to sex, to our bodies that attracted each other, to our mouths that sought each other...
LUCAS : Because I convinced myself that I was who I had become by the inevitable force of events... I had become a priest and I was going to remain one all my life... All my life, I was going to play a role so I might as well believe it. You know, before you arrived, I had almost forgotten my condition as a man... I was nothing more than a religious man. I had left one cage to voluntarily enter another... That of a solitary and discreet life, hidden even. And then you arrived... With your beautiful brown hair, your fiery character and your sublime body... When I met your gaze that day in Debie's office, I thought the ground was opening up beneath my feet... I was knocked over, shaken up... You seemed so hurt by life and at the same time so touching and so sensitive... I knew, from the moment I saw you, that my balance was in danger, that you were a danger to my safety. I lost the self-control that I have always known how to demonstrate... I accepted and even wanted to burn my wings. Because I was and still am irresistibly drawn to you like a moth to light. My body began to ignite at the simple sound of your voice, my hands ordered me to touch your skin... And I hadn't planned any of this... I hadn't planned to fall in love with you, Brooke.
BROOKE : ...
Lucas had just confessed his feelings for Brooke... She didn't realize it but tears were welling up in her eyes.
LUCAS : I'm completely crazy about you... You brought me back to life and I want to love you for the rest of mine.