55. A visitor at night
It was highly annoying that she couldn't toss and turn freely anymore, Su thought as she stared at the wall, while she laid in her bed. Her thoughts fluttered through her head like restless butterflies, never lingering long enough on one subject to actually think about. It was frustrating and exhausting.
Yan had not yet returned to the capital – he was expected to arrive tomorrow or the day after tomorrow – so she couldn't talk to him to get some of her thoughts straight. Simply getting up to pace around the room, which she usually did, would require Su to actually think about how she would get up. She would have to turn to her other side, granted easier because on that side of the bed she could grasp the underside of the bed to lever herself to the other side. But she would first have to turn to her back. When she was on the right side she could push herself up side ways to get to the sitting position. But then she would still have to get up somehow. Just thinking about it exhausted her. It also triggered the thought that it was most likely a good thing that Yan wasn't here yet, because he would surely object to her walking with bare feet. These last two weeks she had lost the ability to put on her own shoes, which had quite frankly been a bit of a shock, but she just couldn't reach down anymore.
Sighing Su closed her eyes again, trying to find some peace and sleep. Suddenly she heard the soft click of a door opening, in an instant Su was wide awake. Where were her guards? She knew it wasn't one of the staff, Yunchuan, Rushuang or Xin, all of them would first knock or call out and let her know they were outside or coming in. Vividly aware of the fact that she had next to no means of moving fast and in that sense defending herself made Su extremely nervous. Very consciously Su forced herself to breath evenly, with minimal movement she grasped the knife hidden under the pillow. The only thing she could do was let the intruder come close enough so that she could throw her arm backwards and hopefully hit him. Focusing all her attention on the dark room behind her Su waited. The intruder took some steps and then he halted. After a few moments Su heard him step up to the platform on which their bed stood, it wouldn't be long before he reached the bed. Su felt her heartrate increase, once more she forced herself to remain calm. She counted the steps, one more and he would be next to the bed. Then he halted again. Su stayed still, hoping the intruder would leave when he believed her to be asleep. That's when she felt a hand on her head and she threw her arm over her shoulder tightly grasping the knife. With her other arm she pushed against the bed so she could turn a little bit more and look over her shoulder. The next moment a hand enclosed around her wrist of the hand wielding the knife and Su looked into the face of the intruder: "Yan!" she said as she let the knife drop to the floor.
"I thought you were asleep." Yan said, taking in his wife's face in the minimal light. He could see she had been frightened. "Fei Yuan said you hadn't been sleeping well, so I didn't dare call out." He explained. Slowly a smile was forming on Su's face, but then she turned away from him, which worried him, until he saw her trying to turn. He heard her grumble and then finally heard her say: "Can you help? I can't roll to the other side." Smiling at her attempt Yan reached for her hand and helped her roll to her his side. She then pushed herself to a sitting position while Yan supported her. When she was seated Yan sat down beside her. Su looked at him with a broad smile: "You're here." Then she hugged him. Yan enjoyed the hug, he had missed her more than he would have ever thought possible. "I'm here, I missed you my dear."
"I missed you too, but why did you come in the middle of the night?"
"I've spent so many nights in a lonely cold bed I couldn't wait any longer to have you in my arms." He pulled Su to his side letting her lean against him. He held her and placed one hand on her swollen belly. "Fei Yuan told me you've not slept well these last days and you seemed tired to him. How are you feeling?" Su moved her head against his shoulder, trying to find a comfortable position. "I'm having trouble sleeping. I just have so many thoughts in my head and I can't find a comfortable way to sleep. In the end I do fall asleep, only to wake up again because I suddenly need to go to the chamber pot. Getting out of bed takes so much time. Just moving around is much more difficult. I missed you. Having you near me helps so much, because I know you'll help and protect me."
"You have maids and guards. You can always ask them to help you." Yan gently reminded her. Her insisting on doing everything by herself had always kept her from asking for help, but now she needed that help. She needed the rest. However Yan understood this was not the time to push her on this. He would tackle this tomorrow after they had both rested. "Are you still working on cases for the Mingjing Office?"
"Yes, those cases are the only things that can give me some distraction. Besides that, many things have happened and are still happening in the capital with regards to the Ghost Army." As she was getting cold Su snuggled closer, Yan looked down and felt his heart fill with love for his Xiao Su. "Let's leave it for tomorrow, now it's time for me to sleep in your arms again. I rode all day to come here today." Su warned him that she wouldn't be able to hold him now, to which Yan replied he would hold her and their child. When they had finally found the best position, which was indeed Yan laying against Su's back with his arm over her waist and his hand clasping hers that lay on her belly. Just as she was feeling drowsy Su asked, as she remembered what had been reported to her: "Has your injury fully healed?"
"Yes, my dear."
"I'll inspect it tomorrow." Su felt Yan nod his head an then she closed her eyes, finally at peace.