57. A young maiden and a young man

It was getting dark so Xin lit the candles in her room, that's when she saw the figure sitting outside her door. Softly she slid the door open. There, seated in front of her door was the emperor, he sat slightly slumped because he had fallen asleep. After Su had left he had knocked twice, both times he'd vowed to remain outside of Xin's door until she led him in. Both times Xin had kept silent, but now seeing him seated there still dressed in the same magnificent clothes she had seen him wear earlier, Xin decided to let him in. So she tapped his shoulder and said: "Come in." she walked into her room so she didn't see him blink and then hurry to follow her. Inside Zin faced him: "Who are you?"

"I'm the emperor of Liang: Yan Ji, but to you I am also Pei Zhu, the young man you met in the forests near your home."

"Why haven't you told me who you really are?" Xin saw the hesitation in Zhu's eyes, even now standing before her as the emperor she saw the gentle Zhu, who had been interested in her opinion and views, who had sat with her in the dark cave and comforted her, who had spent time with her in this large unfamiliar city. She could see Zhu was unsure, he seemed to be considering his words, but Xin just wanted an honest answer. "Zhu, just tell me."

"My brother and sister-in-law told me so often that I had to tell you the truth, but I was afraid of what you'd think of me. When I travelled with them that first time I wanted to escape from the palace and have no one recognize me. I couldn't tell you then. I didn't want to tell you in a letter, you wouldn't believe me. And then we met again, but I couldn't tell you while we worked to solve the murder of your parents. Or when we were racing to get back to the capital." Ji kept quiet for a short moment and then continued: "I should have told you during the time we spent together her, talking about our lives. I'm sorry." Xin looked at Zhu standing before her and she still didn't completely knew if she should be angry or sad or anything. But looking up at him and connecting with his eyes she saw the truth of his words. These weren't just words, he meant them.

"I have a question." She eventually said. Zhu nodded. "Why…why did you allow me to write you letters? When Su told me I was going to pretend to be your niece, she cautioned me against forming attachments to people. She said that eventually I would have to tell those people and they could be hurt by my subterfuge. Why did you allow me to write letters to you and why did you answer my letters. Why did you give me the opportunity to form and attachment to you?"

"Because I was interested in you I wanted to spend more time with you and get to know you better. Back then I hadn't considered the consequences, I hadn't considered that I would have to tell you who I really was." In silence Xin and Zhu looked at each other. Each with their own thoughts. Then Zhu reached for Xin's hands and held them in his. "It was when we were searching for you in the caves that I realized something important."

"What?"

"I realized I want you to be by my side…always." In her eyes he saw shock and wonder.

"Close the gate for the night." Yan ordered the guard at the gate. Yan was grateful that he had ordered Fei Yuan to bring a set of clothes for Pei to the palace. After the banquet and subsequent reception had finished he had changed and left for Pei Mansion. Yan hoped to find Su still awake so she could tell him what had happened after the maid had told them that captain Fu had found their niece and was returning her to their home. It had only take a glance between the couple to decide on their action. After Su had left Yan had seen that his brother had guessed what had been said, the emperor then halted the same maid and ordered her to tell him the message she had give Su. Yan had tried to stop the emperor from leaving, but the emperor had been adamant about going to see Xin. Finally home Yan took a deep breath and let the tranquility of the night fill him. That's when he heard a door slide open and shut, turning to the sound he saw his brother leave Xin's room. "Fei Yuan, please get my brother a set of Pei Zhu's clothes and some tea in the central pavilion. I'll check on Su and then I'll join him." Fei Yuan who had followed his master the entire day acknowledged the order and left to do what had been asked. He went to the emperor and guided him to one of the guestrooms to change. A short while later Yan stepped up unto the pavilion, where his brother was already seated. Zhu poured a cup of tea for his brother and asked: "How was Su?" Yan smiled as he thought of his wife: "She had fallen asleep with her headpieces still on. I helped her to remove them and then helped her get comfortable. Or as comfortable as she can get these day, now she's asleep again. She told me Xin has discovered our identities when she and a maid snuck into the palace to see the parade." Ji bowed his head and after a few moments said: "You and Su were right, I should have told her before. If I had been able to tell her myself she might not have been angry at me."

"Tell me what happened." Yan asked, so Ji told his brother what had happened when he came to Pei Mansion. He told him how Xin didn't want to see him at first, that Su had told him to wait for Xin and how he had sat in front of her door until the night, when she finally allowed him entry. He told him about their conversation and that he had confessed his feeling for her. "She just watched me and didn't say anything. I told her to consider everything carefully. I told her I will wait for her. And I will. I'll wait until she tells me if she is willing to be by my side." Yan regarded his brother and thought about what he had told him. Then he said: "Give her time. Quite a lot of things have happened these last days. She needs to consider it all. I'll ask Su and Rushuang to talk with her."

"I know." Ji rose and stepped to the side of the pavilion where he could stare at the moon and stars. "I'm worried that if she decides to stay with me she will have to sacrifice much. I'm not sure whether I can ask her to do so. I'm worried that she doesn't know clearly what becoming the empress will entail, but I can't tell her or take her to mother. What if she regrets her decision later?"

"Can you ensure she'll be the empress, should she wish so?" Yan asked, considering that more then with his own marriage to Su, the marriage of the emperor was no his own personal business. Su had already raised the question earlier with him and now Yan wanted to know how far Ji would go for Xin.

"There are many formal strictures and guidelines and traditions surrounding my marriage. But in the end my word is final, I'll not have anyone oppose this marriage, should Xin choose to accept me." Yan smiled to himself, "I'll ask Su to talk to Xin and make sure she understands all that choosing you will entail." Yan rose and stood beside his brother, looking at the same moon and stars. He glanced to his side and saw his brother was still deep in thought. He turned to him and continued: "Al right, enough for today, pleas stay here and have a good sleep. Tomorrow you can return to the palace. I'll have Fei Yuan convey a message regarding your stay. He'll say you've been invited to Qi mansion and choose to remain the night. Don't worry." Ji looked at his brother and nodded: "My brother, I thank you." Yan smiled reassuringly, gave his brother a pat on the shoulder and then turned to find his own room.