Bella

She had debated sending those pictures. Nessie and Edward had been on her mind…they'd almost never left. Those images were a constant reminder of him. While she'd been grateful to have these memories, it hurt more to think about what could've been.

Bella hadn't been able to let go of the idea of them.

Though, she told herself that she didn't want to hurt Nessie—it wasn't the girl's fault that neither of them were able/ready to enter into a relationship. Maybe now was just not their time. Bella had researched and found an address to go along with the number and now she had an email buddy in Nessie. Bella sighed as she read the last one from her.

Dear Bella,

I'm going away to camp for the summer, and I don't know what I'm going to do about my dad. He's going to be so lonely. He never does anything fun. But, like you say, I'm going to trust that the universe is looking out for him and he will be able to cope without me. I miss you, and please write to me.

Love, Nessie

P.S. Thanks so much for the coloring book! Best day ever!

Bella smiled, knowing the small gesture would have pleased her. That girl, with her adult mind… Bella hoped Nessie would allow herself to have fun. However, it was as though Nessie had told Bella that concern on purpose…as if encouraging Bella to do something about it.

Edward had not reached out to Bella, nor had she expected him to. This was all for the best, wasn't it?

Bella made up her mind just then. No, there wasn't anything she could say to him. Everything had been spoken already. But there was one thing he could do now with all this childless free time. It made her smile to imagine his reaction. She hoped they had a piano in their home, as it would be a crime for him to not compose. She also hoped if anything good at all had come from that cruise and their shared experiences that he'd found his music again.

She gazed at the selfie of Edward, Nessie, and herself from their day together. They'd posed, making funny faces at the camera, and Bella assigned this photo as her wallpaper.

Now, why did you do that, Bella?

Because she couldn't help it. It was unnecessary. Their features were etched into her mind. The photo was still a memory that reflected something she'd always wanted.

She chose not to share this one with Edward and sent the ones of just him and Nessie. When he was ready to share his life with another woman, then he would.

What would Angela say? She'd insist that Bella pop over to Portland; it was just a little more than a 2 hour drive from her home in Long Beach in Washington. Bella could just pay Edward a visit to "help" him get over his wife. The idea of seeing him was tempting, except that helping a person grieve wasn't something a person could do if they weren't ready.

Bella laughed when she considered all they'd been through up to this point—meeting at the seminar, the nasty emails, the workshops, the kisses…

It had been more than her heart could take. She hated thinking that she would never see him again. They had work to do on themselves. Hadn't she had her own relationship issues to heal? It's not like Jacob is anything like Edward. Jacob had been her high school boyfriend. Hadn't he been the one to instigate Bella's running away? It had ripped apart the relationship she'd had with her father. They'd been at odds ever since. Bella really thought she and Jake had something special. But since the miscarriage, things had never been the same…she'd never been the same. Grief… she had her own to deal with.

Bella went back to the content she was writing—the new material for the next video. Then she had a whole day to work on her editing before sending it over to the company to have them do another round. Since she was in charge of the footage, Bella decided which content stayed. She'd always been in control of that and it had served her well.

Her current project, a video inspired by Edward—another one—were daily tips to reparent your inner child. Bella stretched, asking herself, when was the last time she had played? The beach was just a short walk away, and she'd holed herself up like she'd been in some type of depression. But she wasn't depressed.

She walked out to the sand a block away and buried her toes inside it. She allowed the wind to blow through her hair and the smell of the salt to enliven her senses. An inspiration hit her then; she had to see Charlie. If she thought about it too much she was going to talk herself out of it.

No, she had to go. It was still early enough in the day, and a couple hours' drive would put her in Forks by dinner time. There were things that needed to be healed, and what good was she doing anybody by not addressing them?

Bella packed her things in the car and headed out, taking breaths and trying to stay present as the rain trickled down her windshield.

She stopped at the corner supermarket and picked up a six pack for him—a peace offering. Not that she needed to give him any peace, but she needed to find it within herself.

Knocking on the door, she looked down at the welcome mat—her mom's. He'd kept it all these years.

When Charlie opened the door, he looked surprised to see her. Gray had now colored the rest of his hair, and deep wrinkles took over his forehead.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hey, Bells. Nice to see ya. What are you up to these days?" He held the door open for her.

She'd never come out of the spiritual closet with him, which she'd hadn't had the courage to do. She never felt like she could with him. Things were so black and white with Charlie Swan, and he never could get past his stubborn way of thinking. He had no idea what Bella did. He probably imagined that she was still with that editing firm.

"Oh, I keep busy," she said, entering, finding dishes piled in the sink and an empty bowl on the kitchen table. Boxes of processed dinners sat on the counter. Yep. Nothing had changed as she sat down. Keep it brief, Bella.

"Right. I heard you had a book…or something."

Actually it was her second book. "Oh…how…?"

"Jacob told me. He still asks about you, you know."

Why did he care? She wanted to ask Charlie this. Wasn't Jacob married to Leah? And it had been years since the divorce. It appeared that now that Bella wasn't married to him, Charlie seemed to care about Jake and her together.

She'd fallen for Jake when she was a teenager, had taken to life on the res like a duck to water. Their beliefs were so in the flow, so in opposition to her own mom's strict beliefs.

The Native Americans believed that all life was connected, and that it was our human tendency to separate ourselves. As hard as she tried to feel connected to Charlie, she resented him too much. Once Bella went to college, she met a man in a philosophy class…and one thing led to another—taking her further and further away from the dysfunction of her life.

"That's nice," Bella said. She wished she could say that it didn't sting to hear him say that. She wished they could have one conversation that didn't involve her childhood marriage. Married at 18, divorced at 19.

"Yeah, so I don't know if Jake's happy—there's talk of divorce. And you know, you're not married. The two of you used to get along back in the day."

"Dad, what do you care?"

"It's just that, Bells, you're not getting any younger…"

Speaking of…he'd looked like he'd aged 20 years since she saw him last. "I'm only 29. And believe me, I can do a lot better than Jake."

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "Look, Jake made a mistake. He's paid for it."

Really? She couldn't remember in the last 10 years, Jacob reaching out to her and apologizing—not that Bella wanted that anymore.

The miscarriage…how it had hurt…how it had torn the inside of her very soul, yet she couldn't help see now that it was the catalyst that tore them apart. Losing the baby had distanced her emotionally from him, distancing herself physically was the natural reaction, and Jake dealt with it by finding comfort in the arms of his ex. No, Bella no longer blamed God, or the universe, and tried not to blame Jake. It happened as it was meant to. The loss of the baby had opened her eyes. She may not have ever walked this path otherwise—a young mom, she would have stayed on the res with Jacob. Her current life, where she'd found such peace, would have stayed in another reality.

"Can we please not talk about Jake? I'm happy. What about you, Dad? Still working too much?"

He looked away, and she noticed the gray in his mustache. "I retired about 3 months ago, but I still fish with Harry and Sam." It seemed Charlie just couldn't help himself. "I just don't want you to be lonely."

"Lonely?" Bella had never been more at peace…except this latest incident with Edward. "I'm fine. What about you?"

Beer cans dotted the counters. He was still drinking, and by the look of the overflowing trash cans, she saw the proof of it there as well. He scratched his head. "I'm great. Never better. Listen, Bells, I…am sorry. I've wanted to say that to you for a long time. I wasn't there for you growing up. I threw you out when you got knocked up…I regret that."

Her heart raced. For years, she'd longed for him to say these words. He was apologizing now. Why? "What's going on, Dad?"

"I've got cancer. I'm dying."

Oh shit. Bella's eyes blinked furiously… and she held back tears. "How long?"

"A couple months."

"Dad…what stage are you in? I know some great healers."

He took her hands in his and the palms felt rough against hers. "It's too late for me, Bells. I just wanna see you happy. I don't want you to be alone."

"I'm fine. Like I've always been. Listen, Dad, I'll get a hold of Dr. Cullen and we'll see."

"I've seen an oncologist. And Dr. Cullen already did all he could do. But please, Bella? I know I don't deserve it, but I'd like to be able to walk you down the aisle. I'd like to know you'll be happy."

Bella felt her life force being sucked away and unlocked her phone to find the contact information for an energy healer, but unfortunately, Charlie saw the picture first.

"Who's that?" he asked, pointing to her phone.

The selfie of Renesmee and Edward appeared, and Bella quickly pressed the phone against her lap. "Oh…yeah…that's Edward and his daughter…" She was going to say how they were friends, but instead the words came out before she could take them back. "We're engaged."

Her dad looked to her finger for a ring but she folded her hands together. "Oh. Really?"

It was such an awful lie, and Bella always, always preached about honesty. What was wrong with her that when she was in her father's company that her default mode was deception? Wasn't she better than this? "Yeah, we haven't announced it yet."

"Right. I mean, I hoped that he would come and ask for my blessing."

For all that was good and holy…

Why on earth would she ask Charlie's blessing for anything? When had this man acted the role of father for her? Jacob's father was more of a dad than he would ever be. "Dad, you know that I have my own life…" And while she'd been living it, now her dad was dying…

"I don't have long, Bella. Please? Can we just get along? Make peace?"

"Of course, Dad. Yes. And I'm going to talk to Dr. Cullen and the shaman on the res."

"You know I don't believe in that woo woo garbage."

"Would you do it for me?" As much as Bella resented him, she didn't want Charlie to die…she always liked the idea of them just being able to have a real father/daughter relationship.

"How about you get that man of yours here and we'll talk about it?"

Ugh. This was awful. Bella felt like she was making a deal with the devil. How could she say no? If she did get Edward here to pretend for her, then would Charlie really allow her to get him some type of alternative therapy?

"I'll tell you what, Dad. I will. But you gotta stop drinking." Bella didn't even have to ask, and she took that six pack she'd purchased with her. She hugged her dad goodbye, vowed to keep in touch with him, and she was determined now more than ever to be there for him.

Dr. Cullen confirmed it for her by phone. Liver cancer—stage 3, and Charlie hadn't been willing to discuss treatment. Her dad told the good doctor that it was too late for him, even though the oncologist insisted he could, in addition to chemo, make changes in his life and still survive. How dramatic of Charlie. It was so like him to turn down medical therapies…how on earth was she going to get him to agree to anything else?

Edward…

Why had Bella agreed to have Edward pose as her fiancé? How was she going to get him to agree? Wasn't this just adding fuel to the fire? This had to be the worst lie she'd ever told.

Bella looked up Edward's address on Google maps. Dr. Cullen, a man of extreme sympathy for her and Charlie over the years, had been through so much with them with mending Bella's broken bones. He'd helped her through the miscarriage. His wife Esme had also been a gifted therapist. Bella needed their help now.

For a person like herself who'd cherished her independence, asking for help was going to be the hardest thing for Bella to do.

She set the directions on her phone and would arrive in Portland in just over 2 hours. This was going to be the most awkward favor to ask of anyone, and Bella didn't know how to even start. But, she was going to try.

A/N: Alright then. I'm so grateful to EdwardsFirstKiss for all her help with this chapter, and she had it done way before I was ready to post. I hope to post the next one next week, and I thank you all for reading and for your reviews and follows! Coming up: The Favor. Stay with me!