Bella

Bella stared at Edward's aunt's text. Esme Cullen was the kindest person Bella had known. With the surprise of hearing about Edward and Bella getting engaged, his aunt was thrilled for the reason to celebrate.

Bella did not want to engage with her. She didn't want to be rude and not return Esme's texts, but still, she reread the message on her screen.

Dear Bella, I'm so happy for you and Edward. I was very worried about him for a long time, and it's a great comfort to me now—finally—knowing that he is in love again and I'm so looking forward to any possible engagement/wedding plans.

Edward was ready to continue this charade with her. Bella couldn't rationalize it. She knew that Edward didn't want to let down his aunt or uncle, but what the heck? What was next? Was Bella going to have to go meet Edward's mother?

A text came through from Angela. I want the deets.

Bella texted her back. There's nothing to tell.

She turned her attention back to the chapter she was writing on her laptop when the call came through from Angela, and she debated letting it go to voicemail.

"What do you mean there's nothing to tell?! You two were very convincing yesterday. Had me fooled. I thought he was going to take you home for a little sum'n sum'n."

Bella's cheeks warmed at the thought. "Yeah, we fooled everyone because that's what we were supposed to do."

"Nah. It's more than that. The way he was looking at you, Bella…he's got it bad…and you…oh boy. You can't fake that."

Her friend did see through the facade. But would she understand anything beyond?

"Look, I was drinking yesterday, which was a bad idea."

"Oh…that was hilarious. You finally gave it to Jake. He had it coming after all this time."

"That was very bad, and I need to apologize. Edward and I aren't together, Angela. He needs to get over his wife."

"Okay, well maybe you can help him. After all, that's what you do."

She sighed. "Edward's not ready. He doesn't want any help. There are tons of resources…not to mention my videos. Heck, his aunt is a therapist! When he's ready, then…of course I'd like to be in a relationship with him."

"It's so sweet. You two were so cute together."

Bella really needed to get her friend off the phone, but it turned out she was calling to talk to her about upcoming book signings and seminars, and to find out if she had any ideas for more videos.

"Yes, I think I'm going to make a video about lying. About how deceiving others takes away from your authenticity."

"Sounds like a good one. But, I want to hear more about Edward."

Bella covered her forehead with her hand. Angela was relentless.

"I think all you have to do is go to his house wearing a sexy dress…and that will help him forget his wife."

"Ange, you know nothing about grief. Nobody ever forgets their loved one. It's just something they get used to no longer having around."

"I get it. I lost my grandma, remember?"

"Okay, but the loss of a spouse…is huge. There are so many layers—roles that you play, like wife, daughter, sister, friend, not to mention the relationships with the in-laws."

"You sound like someone who could help him."

"Of course I could. If that's what Edward wanted. Okay, I'm gonna hang up now."

"Wait, Bella…please. Keep me in the loop."

"Will do."

She finished the page she was working on and picked up her phone. What a mess. She was going to have to make sure that Charlie kept his appointment…and to continue the lie of being engaged. Her dad had been all too anxious to see it.

She browsed her phone and found Jacob's number. Why did she still even have it? She half hoped that he'd gotten a new one.

"Hello?" Jacob said right away.

"Hi, Jake. It's me, Bella." She'd changed her number a few times, but for some reason had held onto his number. Why did she do that?

"Oh…what do you want, Bella?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday. I was drinking…and that's no excuse…"

"Yeah, you left me with a black eye and swelling. You know I could press charges."

Her first thought was that he would be low enough to do that. Bella scoffed but then remembered the purpose of her call. "I am trying to apologize."

"Well, it was embarrassing. I had to explain to my two year old that an old friend punched me."

"I'm so, so sorry. It will never happen again."

"Let's hope not. It sounds like you've got your own fiancé to torture now."

Her own fiancé. She thought about correcting him. "Yes, Edward has his hands full with me. But he's up for it. Anyway, can I talk to Leah? I want to apologize to her as well."

"Leah doesn't want to talk to you."

Bella breathed a sigh. "Okay, please let her know that I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm trying to make it right."

"You wanna make it right, then you should apologize in person."

"Well, I'm just too busy for that. Can we just let bygones be bygones?"

"No. I'm still mad."

Alright then. She expected this, but she had to allow him his feelings. She'd punched him, after all.

"It was great seeing you though, up until you assaulted me."

"It was good seeing you too." Kind of, but not really. "Look, I hope we can get past this."

"So, you're getting remarried after all this time, huh?"

Deny it, Bella. Tell him it's not true. Except that he might tell Charlie, and she needed her dad to follow through with his treatments. "That's the word."

"So, how'd you land this guy?"

She smiled as she thought of it. "Through his daughter, believe it or not."

"He's got a kid. Haha."

"Why is that funny?"

"Because you wanted to have one of your own and they told you that you couldn't."

She shoved back the rage that scorched her belly like a flame, wanting to sock him in the nose again. "Yeah, we'll see, Jake. Look, I have to go. Please pass my apology on to Leah."

"Sure, sure."

Jacob ended the call without saying goodbye, and she didn't know what else to say to him anyway. How long were these treatments going to last? At least she didn't need to involve Edward.

A text came through just then. How is your day going so far?

Peachy. And yours?

Slow. I was just thinking about our engagement party. We should just have it at a restaurant and then we'll tell people that we don't want any gifts.

Edward! WE ARE NOT ENGAGED nor are we having an engagement party.

What? You don't want to marry me anymore? Lol.

Lol. Indeed. She considered the number of things she could write to him…send to him. Instead, she copied and pasted the link to one of her grief videos into the text.

Are you joking?

No, of course not. I think it could help.

She didn't hear back from him for hours and then found a letter from Renesmee in the mail.

Hi Bella!

How are you? It's been very busy here at camp and we are practicing a performance of Dorothy Meets Alice, and I got the role of Dorothy! it would be amazing if you could make it.

I miss my dad and I miss you. And, I am still reading your book.

Hope to hear back from you soon.

Love,

Nessie

P.S. I'm still manifesting you for us (don't tell my dad) or someone better—not that there is anyone better.

Bella giggled. It seemed so much had happened since all of this manifestation stuff had begun…and how much her life had changed. Under normal circumstances, she would've been laser focused on more content for her channel, her personal growth, and her books. She still had interviews she was doing with some other spiritual teachers…and it kept her busy. Now, though, she'd been so distracted. Edward…she reached for her phone…wanting to hear his voice.

Edward

He'd gotten home from work, and without the focus of Charlie or Renesmee, he'd realized how big and empty his home was. He was alone. And the alone-ness never felt quite so stifling. Among the mail he'd brought inside, he found a large manila envelope and smiled when he saw Bella had sent it…addressed to him.

After dropping the pile of mail onto the kitchen table, he tore into it. She'd sent him a package of composition sheets. He'd not considered buying it for himself…had not been compelled to even play since Nessie'd been gone.

I could kiss you.

He hit send, grabbed a few sheets, then strode to the piano. His hand caressed it and ran along the shiny black finish.

After retrieving the sheets he'd begun from the cruise, he returned, leaving the phone and everything else forgotten. He'd gotten past the first chorus, the melody had begun so sad, so hopeless, then the middle had picked up in tempo, but then…the inspiration had dissipated.

A few hours had passed, and a little giddy now from his creation, he wondered why it was that now that he had the time to spend on it, he'd just arrived at a dead stop.

He sent another text to Bella, imagining that she would have perceived it the wrong way. What I meant was: thank you for the composition sheets. I have some but they are packed away in one of the boxes. Along with old photos and letters… memorabilia from his old life before they married. With new inspiration, he grabbed a notebook and a pen.

Dear Rose,

I saw this idea of writing a letter to you but I just thought it was silly. Auntie suggested it when you first passed. It's supposed to be therapeutic. Everyone…life wants me to forget you…to move on. How can I do that? Not when you were so much a part of my life. I remember when Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle adopted you and I thought you were the most obnoxious little girl. You clung to her and didn't talk to Uncle and stayed away from anybody who was male. I know you don't remember what happened in your earlier years with your natural father, and I'm so glad. When Uncle Carlisle told me that terrible things had happened to you with your biological dad, I just meant to be nicer to you…I didn't expect to love you.

You were so beautiful. The way you swung from their oak tree and your long blonde hair shined in the sun, I thought I'd never seen anybody so beautiful. When you kissed me and looked at me with such vulnerable eyes…I lost my heart right then and there. I am so blessed to have had you for as long as I did.

But I thought we would grow old together…

Sobs broke from his lips and he put down his pen. A chime came through on his phone from Bella, and he closed up the notebook. Through his tears, he peered at her words.

Finally! You know it took forever, the shipment was delayed. I suppose it was DIVINE timing.

Divine timing.

She really believed in all that. He supposed that he needed to allow her beliefs since she genuinely tried to help people. Once he'd gotten past the airy fairy nature of her advice, he'd been able to allow himself to explore the messages. He still didn't agree with all of them, but as evidenced by her supporters and their comments, the amount of love they had for her was overwhelming. They thanked her over and over for her advice, told their stories of how she'd helped them become better people.

Edward wondered what Rose would have thought of Bella. The two couldn't be more different both physically and in their attitudes. Though, he had to admit that Bella was one of a kind.

I appreciate it.

Don't thank me. It's selfish. I want you to play these creations for me someday.

This was something very personal. He didn't share his music with anyone. Though, Bella was different. She'd rekindled that desire for him to connect with that part of him that seemed to have just died away with Rose.

Bella had rekindled other desires as well.

I suspect that someday you will…whether I like it or not. He laughed as he hit send.

I'd rather that you allowed it, but I'll take it however I can get it. :)

She was something else. In that moment, he could imagine her seated beside him as his fingers took to the keys, baring the most sacred part of himself. He even imagined she and Nessie seated together on the couch, Bella's arm around his daughter.

It was then he realized he wanted this more than anything. With a new resolve, he returned to his letter to Rose. This first step would be the most difficult…but it would be worth it.

A/N: Let the healing begin! It is a process. Stay with me for more. Many thanks to my beta EdwardsFirstKiss for her kind and generous help. Also, thanks to you for reading, and so much gratitude to the reviewers. I always enjoy your feedback. :)