Hermione
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Hi Mum and Dad,
Harry gave me a wizarding camera for my birthday, so I spent October taking as many photos as I could to send to you. This way, you can see a bit of Hogwarts.
(The photos move, so don't hang them on the fridge, they're just for you).
So, first of all, this is the Castle from a distance. See that big tower on the right? That's the Gryffindor tower, where I spend my time when I'm not in class. At the top is the Common Room. My dormitory is the fourth window from the bottom. On the other side is the tallest tower at Hogwarts, the Astronomy Tower, with Albus Dumbledore's office above the platform overlooking the Castle. It's my favourite tower.
Then we have Crookshanks sleeping on Ginny's lap. She's sitting on our sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room, the one opposite the fire. Crookshanks is asleep because he's exhausted from playing with my ball of wool all evening, as you can see, it's completely unravelled... ...
For the third, I asked Ginny to take a picture of me with Harry and Ron. I've kept one for myself and I'm sending you the other. I just love it! Of course, I didn't see Ron putting his wand in my ear, but at least it made Harry on my left burst out laughing. I really like the loop it makes, with Harry laughing and Ron sticking out his tongue. It's quite rare to see Harry smiling these days, so I'm glad I was able to capture his laughter in a photograph.
Madam Pince kindly allowed me to take just one photo of the Library, on the condition that I didn't use the flash, so here it is. As you can see, the books stack themselves. You're not allowed to throw an Accio, so it's always hard to find one among the huge shelves. The big table in the middle of the room, to the left of the photo, is the one we use most often with Harry and Ron. It puts us right under the window, so we can enjoy the sunshine when it's there.
Ron helped me take a photo of my Transfiguration spell: it's a little hedgehog at first, and after my spell it becomes a comb. Can you see its spines retracting during the spell? Professor McGonagall congratulated me and told me that this spell would certainly be in the O.W.L., so I'll practise to make it even faster. (Don't worry, I did return the hedgehog to its original form after class, of course).
Next is a photo of Harry and Ron practising Quidditch. The photo is very blurry because the brooms are going too fast, but at least you can see what a full-size pitch looks like. The tall towers at the back are where I stand to look up at them during the games. Harry is number 7 and Ron is a bit further back, in front of the goals. He's the one doing the funny loop.
My last photo is the most recent, taken this afternoon when I went to Hagrid's to have tea with him. I often do that on Sunday afternoons. Hagrid has only just arrived, he was on a humanitarian trip earlier this year. You can see how big he really is compared to my little cup of tea on the table. It was cinnamon tea, naturally, and it came with his little homemade biscuits that crunch under your teeth.
I'll try to get some more photos of you soon. Maybe I'll send you a letter with photos every month? That way I can make a photo album this summer and hide it where no one can find it. I must show you the herbarium that Gran gave me and that Neville and I are finishing - we're three quarters of the way through it!
I miss you both so much,
Hermione.
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Draco
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Despite the fact that Pansy had slept in his bed the night before, she refused to speak to Draco the next day. It was frustrating, but at least she didn't ignore him completely: she ate breakfast with them and spent the morning with Blaise, Theo and him.
He could feel Granger's gaze piercing him every time they were in the same room. He knew she was waiting for the right moment to scream at him for daring to kiss her, so he avoided looking at her, running away from the problem instead of facing it. It was a cowardly thing to do, and he suspected she'd use that argument in their next fight, but Draco was far too mentally exhausted to face it right now.
He was taking a sip of black coffee to try and wake himself up a little when Theo exclaimed loudly:
"Merlin, he's back."
Draco turned his head towards the teachers' table and stopped abruptly when he saw Hagrid. Without really understanding why, his heart leapt in his chest. If he was being completely honest, he felt a certain... relief at the thought that he wasn't dead. The table seemed fuller when he was sitting there. Hogwarts looked more like Hogwarts.
Draco didn't really think that, he was just glad that Granger wasn't mourning the loss of her favourite gamekeeper. Yes, that was definitely it. It had nothing to do with him.
So he grimaced in instant disgust:
"I thought he had been crushed by a giant?" he asked in his usual drawl.
"Guess not." Blaise said, looking over at Hagrid. "Although..."
At first, Draco didn't understand what Blaise was talking about. He realised what he meant when they arrived at the edge of the Forest for the Care of Magical Creatures class. Theo was dragging his feet because of the snow, which he hated, something he repeated about twenty times from the Castle to Hagrid's hut, and it was only then that Draco saw his "teacher's" face. He let out a shriek of disgust.
Hagrid's face was a mess, with bruises ranging from green to yellow across his nose, cheeks and forehead. His left eye was swollen and several wounds were dripping with dried blood. To complete this most attractive appearance, he was carrying a dead cow over his shoulder like a tea towel.
Draco heard a disgusted whimper to his right and instantly recognised Pansy.
"Today we'll be working over there." Hagrid announced cheerfully, nodding towards the dark trees of the forest. "It's more sheltered. Besides, they prefer it dark."
The memory of his first year of detention came to the surface. Draco didn't need to consult the book in his mental library, he remembered well the terror he had felt that night. Since then, he had been careful to avoid the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, let alone venture into the trees. As far as he was concerned, the Forest was fraught with danger, and he preferred to stay within the safe confines of the Castle.
"What prefers the dark?" he asked Theo, unable to hide the horror in his voice. "What did he say prefers the dark, did you hear?"
Theo and Blaise shrugged. Draco swallowed and shifted astutely beside Crabbe and Goyle. If anyone attacked him, he'd much rather be protected by them than by Theo, who was shaking like a leaf because of the snow.
"Ready?" asked Hagrid. "Right, then, for your fifth year, I've booked you a little trip to the Forest. I think it's best to see these creatures in their natural environment. What we're going to study today is rather rare. I think I'm the only person in Britain who's managed to train them."
"And you're sure they're trained, are you?" asked Draco in a voice that was becoming increasingly panicky.
"Only it wouldn't be the first time you'd brought wild stuff to class, would it?"
He heard a murmur of approval shake the ranks of the Slytherins, and even some of the Gryffindors. He moved even closer to Goyle and tried hard not to look at Granger.
"'Course they're trained." Hagrid replied, suddenly less cheerful.
"So what's the matter with your face then?" asked Draco.
"Mind your own business!" replied Hagrid angrily. "And now, if you've finished asking stupid questions, let's get on with it!"
Praying that it was the giants that had deformed Hagrid's huge head and not the sharp fangs of some wild and dangerous beast, Draco took a few steps forward.
Granger was, of course, at the front of the line, just behind Hagrid. Draco could see her curls swaying behind her back with each step. Strangely, the sight relaxed him a little.
He wondered how she had reacted when she had heard Hagrid was back. He was sure she would have rushed to meet him, maybe even hugged him because she had missed him so much. Had it been after or before he had kissed her last Saturday? Had it brightened her disastrous weekend? Had his return erased the kiss from her memory?
Was she close enough to Hagrid to confide in him?
Horrified at the possibility that Granger might have told Hagrid that he had kissed her, Draco Occluded.
They walked for about ten minutes. Draco alternated between looking down at the ground to avoid tripping over chunks of frozen root and at Granger's hair, which twirled in the wind along with her steps. He was dying for her to turn and look at him, because he felt like he hadn't seen her for weeks, even though it had only been three days.
Suddenly Hagrid came to a halt and Theo almost slipped on a patch of ice because of the sudden stop. He muttered a particularly vile insult and Blaise held back a laugh. With a grunt, Hagrid placed the cow carcass on the ground and waited for everyone to gather around. Out of the corner of his eye, Draco saw Pansy clutching Blaise's cloak in panic.
"Come closer, gather round!" Hagrid encouraged. "They'll be attracted by the smell of meat, but I'm going to call them anyway, 'cause they'll like to know it's me."
"Who the hell are "they"?" asked Draco, feeling a chill run down his neck that had nothing to do with the snow.
"I don't know, probably a snow yeti or something..." grumbled Theo as he tried to pull up his robes so they wouldn't soak the ground.
The gamekeeper shook his head to get rid of the hair stuck to his face and let out a piercing yell that made Draco's blood run cold. Everyone around him froze. Draco stared into the trees, expecting a giant figure to appear at any moment.
Please, Merlin, don't let me die now... he begged inwardly.
Crabbe and Goyle pressed against him and he could feel their arms shaking.
Hagrid whistled a second time, then a third. The beasts, whoever they were, did not show themselves. Fear paralysed Draco's legs, so much so that he wondered if he would be able to run if he had to. He was just gauging the distance between him and Granger so he could grab her before he took off when Theo muttered:
"Well, about time!"
Draco turned his head towards the trees, his heart beating so fast he could feel it in his fingertips, but there was nothing there. Not even an owl on a branch or a hedgehog near a bush.
"Merlin, they're terrifying..." Theo went on, staring at the edge of the trees, almost sick.
"What are you talking about?" asked Blaise blankly. "There's no one there."
Theo turned to him, one eyebrow arched:
"Well, no, nothing at all, of course. Apart from the huge winged black horse with no eyes right in front of us?"
But seeing Blaise's face full of incomprehension, Theo stopped the irony and frowned in panic:
"Are you joking? You really can't see it?"
"No..."
Theo turned expectantly to Draco, who shook his head as well:
"I don't see any horses, mate."
"Are you playing a joke on me?" asked Theo, glancing between Blaise and Draco as if he expected one of them to burst out laughing. "You really can't see it? But... Right there! It's huge!"
He pointed to a spot in the snow and Draco thought he saw hoofprints.
"Oh, Merlin, I know what it is!" cried Pansy in a shrill voice. "It's a Thestral!"
As soon as he heard that name, Theo lost all colour. His cheeks, flushed from the cold, became as pale as the snow around them. He dropped his outstretched arm to his side.
"What? No, it can't be..." he said, petrified with fear.
Draco, who had no idea what a Thestral was, watched Theo go pale without understanding. Blaise didn't seem to get it either. Pansy, however, was staring at Theo with a troubled expression that did not bode well.
"Oh, there's another one!" said Hagrid happily, indifferent to the panic of the four Slytherins.
Draco looked at the trees, but saw only the same dark path between two yew trees. Crabbe and Goyle looked stupidly up at the branches.
Theo, on the other hand, had stepped back in awe.
"Now raise your hands if you can see them!" said Hagrid loudly.
Pansy put a hand on Theo's arm to stop him. She was now looking at the gamekeeper, her eyes blazing with resentment.
Potter was the only one to raise his hand. That was not very reassuring: if Theo had the same visions as Potter, he was doomed. After a while, Longbottom timidly raised his finger as well, and Granger gave him a sympathetic look. Draco wondered if this wasn't a Gryffindor prank meant to scare Theo. If it was, it had worked: he was practically translucent and his eyes danced towards the empty space behind Hagrid.
"No, it can't be..." Theo moaned. "Are they really Thestrals? Draco, ask him."
"Er, excuse me?" called Draco, uncertain. "But what exactly
are we supposed to be seeing?"
The "professor" pointed to the cow's body. Draco then saw pieces of flesh tear off and float in the air for a moment before being swallowed by the apparently invisible creature. The entire group of students stepped back in unison.
"Oh Merlin, they really are Thestrals!" cried Pansy in horror. "He really did it! Oh, Theo, I'm so sorry..."
She pressed her palms to her eyelids and turned so that her back was to them.
"What? What, what is it?" asked Blaise, still looking without seeing the space between the two trees.
"Those are Thestrals, they bring bad luck! Cover your eyes!" ordered Pansy in a hushed voice. "It's a terrible omen... It's said that all those who can see them will be struck by misfortune!"
"Like the Grim?" asked Draco.
"No, not really." said Pansy, who in her fright had forgotten that she wasn't talking to him. "You'll see the Grim if you die in the next few days. Thestrals are only seen by certain people, only those who..."
She turned to Theo and didn't finish her sentence.
"They're Thestrals." Hagrid explained proudly, confirming Pansy's theory.
Theo took another step backwards and hit the tree trunk behind him.
Draco could see that Granger had just put the pieces of a puzzle together that Draco didn't know about. She stared at Potter, then at Longbottom, then at Theo, biting her lip. Potter turned to look at the group of Slytherins. He didn't seem to have any idea about the Thestrals either.
"Who can tell me why some of you can see them and others can't?" asked Hagrid.
Immediately Granger's hand split the air.
"Go on then."
"The only people who can see the Thestrals... are those who have seen Death." she explained.
Her sentence sounded like a gong, as if her voice reverberated off the trunks and hit Theo right in the chest. He stumbled into Blaise, who caught him just in time. He looked like he was going to faint at any moment.
Draco, for his part, felt his limbs go numb as Granger's words reached his brain.
You had to have seen death with your own eyes to be able to see winged horses?
But then...
Who had Theo seen die?
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Hermione
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On Wednesday night, as the Room of Requirement buzzed with the voices of the members of Dumbledore's Army, Hermione was completely distracted. She stood in the corner of the room for the entire meeting, pretending to have found a very interesting passage about magical defence in a book, when in fact her eyes were dancing over the page without reading it.
She hadn't spoken to Draco since last Saturday. He hadn't come to the Library, even though Hermione had spent all her free time there, hoping he would show up. Nor had he come to their bench, even after the late hours when Hermione had waited, clutching a jar of jam in her hands to keep from freezing to death.
"Granger, I'm... I'm sorry."
Draco's words were etched in her mind, but Hermione couldn't make sense of them. Sorry for what? For kissing her? Was he afraid of her reaction? That maybe she didn't want to? But Hermione had wanted to. Even though it wasn't right, even though they shouldn't have done it, even though it was forbidden, Hermione had only wanted one thing in that stairwell of the Astronomy Tower: for him to kiss her. All her reason had gone the moment he had approached her. And she didn't regret it for a second, even after several days of silence on his part.
His ignorance annoyed her. At first she had thought that he had simply been frightened and that they would discuss it calmly in the Library after the shock had worn off. But after the Arithmancy lesson, when Draco hadn't even looked in her direction, and then his absence from the Library and the bench, Hermione was growing impatient. What could she have done to make him react like that? Why hadn't he come to talk about it?
"Hey." Ginny said, approaching the silk cushion where Hermione had taken refuge.
"Hey." the brunette replied, closing the book she'd been pretending to read for the last hour.
"What's the matter with you? You don't look too good."
Ginny grabbed a bottle of water that had just materialised on the shelf and drank half of it in one gulp. The Shield Charm that Harry was teaching them was clearly exhausting.
"I've got a bit of a headache." Hermione lied.
Ginny immediately rolled her eyes:
"Hermione Granger, don't lie to me."
She gave Ginny a confused look.
"I'm not lying." she said.
"Yes, you are. I can see it on your face. Harry and Ron may not see anything, but I see everything. You're thinking of something else. What is it?"
Ginny sat down on the cushion in front of her. Her cheeks and neck were red with effort and the roots of her hair were soaked.
Hermione sighed. Ginny was far too observant, it was impossible to keep secrets from her. She looked around to make sure no one was listening, but the members of the D.A. were far too busy shouting "Protego!" every five seconds.
"I had a fight." Hermione admitted. "With Draco."
"About the game?" asked Ginny.
Hermione nodded, impressed by her best friend's deductive skills.
"Is he angry with you for standing up for Harry?" she asked.
"No, not really..."
Ginny watched Hermione's face for a few seconds. She must have realised she didn't want to talk about it, because she dropped the subject and stood up, holding out her hand.
"Well, I think you're right, whatever the reason. I'm on your side. Now, come and throw some spells in my face, it'll take your mind off things."
Hermione laughed and took Ginny's hand as she helped her to her feet. She didn't let go once she was on her feet, instead leading her to a corner of the room where Michael Corner was waiting, tapping his wand against his thigh.
"Oh, hello Hermione." he greeted warmly. "Are you going to train with us?"
"She's going to help me train." Ginny corrected as she stepped in front of Hermione. "You suck at casting spells on me."
Hermione thought Michael would take offence, but he gave Ginny and Hermione an embarrassed smile.
"I have a bit of a problem attacking my girlfriend right in the face."
Hermione smiled back and Ginny gave him a quick kiss on the cheek:
"I forgive you. But luckily Hermione isn't afraid to throw Stinging Hexes at me. Here we go, Granger, give it all you've got!"
Michael pretended to hide his eyes, but he didn't need to: with every curse Hermione threw at her, Ginny managed to cast a magnificent shield just before the spell hit her.
Ginny's intervention managed to keep Draco away from Hermione for a while, but soon Harry announced the end of the session, and they all went back up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She sat on her favourite sofa, between Ron and George. Fred and Ginny had taken the same chair and were arguing about who got to sit there, and Harry was sitting at the foot of the sofa, talking to Neville about his remarkable performance during their training.
Hermione looked around at her friends scattered around her with a sigh of satisfaction. The flow of their words soothed Hermione, almost putting her to sleep, their voices were so restful. She didn't think about the bench, or the grey-eyed boy who might be waiting for her there. Without knowing it, they were able to comfort her without knowing her torment.
"Don't move, I'll be back." Hermione announced abruptly.
She got up, walked to the dormitory and returned with her new wizarding camera. As she stood in front of them, George's eyes widened in surprise:
"Merlin Hermione, is that a Noctua Oculus 3DX?!"
Hermione looked at her camera hesitantly:
"Er... probably..."
"How did you get it?! I've been dreaming of that model for years!"
Hermione thought back to the twins' camera, the one they'd used to take her picture during that terrible dare where she'd had to ride a broom in Grimmauld Square. She bit her lip:
"I bought it in Hogsmeade." she said.
"Merlin Hermione, that camera costs a fortune!" chimed in Fred, staring at the camera as if it were a mountain of Galleons between her fingers. "How did you afford it?"
"My parents." she lied, using the same excuse she'd given Harry, Ron and Ginny to explain her new purchase. "They sent me money for my birthday and asked me to buy one so they could finally see Hogwarts."
"That's a brilliant idea!" quipped Neville with a grin. "What have you got so far?"
Hermione listed the pictures she had sent to her parents in her last letter, and then everyone came up with ideas: Ginny wanted Hermione to take a group picture of the members of Dumbledore's Army to hang in the Room of Requirement, Harry and Ron advised her to take a picture of Hagrid's next class, and Fred and George begged her to take a picture of them imitating Umbridge behind her back. Ron dismissed the idea, saying that Umbridge was probably a vampire, so she probably wouldn't appear on film.
"Do you mind if I take a picture of you all together?" asked Hermione.
The Gryffindors agreed and grouped together to pose for the camera. Hermione clicked and the flash lit them up with a loud "poof!" When the picture came out, Hermione smiled fondly when she saw the loop: Fred was making bunny ears for Ginny, Ginny was making bunny ears for George, and Ron and Harry were holding each other's shoulders with two big smiles.
Hermione was making another one to keep as a bookmark, and then George showed her the "time-lapse" option on the camera. He set the camera down on the mantelpiece and threw himself into the chair just as the "poof!" sounded again, creating a perfect loop with George in the air.
And while they each tried out the camera, Hermione fell asleep peacefully on the couch in the Common Room, surrounded by the people she loved, thinking of the one person who was missing.
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Draco
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In the days following Hagrid's disastrous lecture on the Thestrals, Theo refused to talk about it again. He spent his evenings in the Library, returning late at night, his fingers full of ink stains and his eyes more puffy than ever. He never stayed at Pansy's parties as he usually did, keeping a discreet eye on her to make sure she was all right. He went to bed early and drew his curtains so as not to be disturbed. Once or twice, Draco thought he heard sobs through the fabric.
Draco didn't dare ask Pansy and Blaise about Theo's condition. He suspected they knew who he had seen die, especially Blaise who had known Theo long before Hogwarts, but he didn't want to ask for such confidential information. He knew Theo would tell him when he was ready.
Besides, Pansy still refused to talk to Draco, at least not directly. She used Blaise as a go-between and never looked him in the eye. She didn't sleep in his bed either, much to Draco's dismay, who found it hard to bear the absence of his best friend.
For a whole week, the atmosphere remained cold and uncomfortable. Theo was drowning in homework, Pansy was still sulking, Blaise still had that inexplicably moody look on his face, and Draco was avoiding Granger. He hadn't been to the Library for far too long. He desperately wanted to talk to her, but this time was different. This wasn't an argument they could settle over cinnamon tea and a few well-placed barbs. Draco had gone too far, and he couldn't bring himself to face the problem now that it had become omnipresent.
Much to his chagrin, Granger seemed to have given up as well. She didn't go to the Library for the next week, instead spending all her time with Potter and Weasley. She never looked for him anymore, not even during Arithmancy class when he sat at the table next to her. Draco suspected she'd given up, but that didn't stop him from feeling a pang of despair every time he noticed her ignorance.
Losing Pansy and Granger in the same week had been a huge blow to his morale. Draco was once again suffering from insomnia, which not even the last few drops of the Dreamless Sleep potion Theo had stolen the year before could cure. He saw Granger in his dreams, but it wasn't the feverish Granger he'd kissed, or the angelic Granger on their bench, it was her frozen, lifeless version. Sometimes she was even in the hospital bed, like the time he'd seen her after she'd been petrified.
With a pile of homework to do, a letter from his father that had been waiting for an answer for days, Umbridge coming up with some new stupid decree every day, and the Slytherin team still not over the defeat in the match against Gryffindors, Draco was simply exhausted, both physically and mentally.
So it came as no surprise when Snape let out a loud, exasperated sigh during their Thursday night session.
"You're not even trying, Malfoy!" he shouted angrily.
Draco didn't even flinch. His whole body ached and his head was far too full to concentrate on the arduous task of Legilimency. He hadn't managed to get into Snape's head once since they'd started their new lesson, and that seemed to frustrate Snape far more than it did Draco.
"You're not meditating enough!"
It was true. Draco hadn't been able to calm his mind since the night of the match. It was as if kissing Granger had reduced his mental library to nothing. As if, by breaking for the first time the tension that had built up since the day he'd sat down at that secluded table, he'd also broken his Occlumency.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Snape with a hint of contempt in his tone.
"I'm just tired, Professor." Draco muttered, looking down at the wooden floor beneath his feet. "The O.W.L..."
"Oh, don't give me that lame excuse, Malfoy." Snape snapped. "You've always been able to meditate, it's certainly not the exams coming up in six months that are distracting you!"
Draco said nothing. Snape was right, he didn't care about the O.W.L., but he couldn't really tell him the extent of his personal problems. He couldn't imagine telling Snape that he'd kissed his best friend to erase the horribly pleasant memory of kissing Granger.
The professor sighed again and went back to his desk. Draco did the same with a mechanical gesture.
"Are you sure you wish to continue the practice of Legilimency?" he asked.
Draco stared at the dark wood of Snape's desk. Did he want to? Could he possibly teach it to Pansy and Theo? Theo was incapable of meditation and his mind was clearly elsewhere these days. Pansy wouldn't talk to him, Draco doubted she'd let him pry into her thoughts. And Granger...
Once, Draco had been so motivated by the idea of teaching her how to sort out her memories that he had learned Occlumency to the point of fainting. He had been convinced that teaching Granger was a way of protecting her. But now, selfishly, he didn't know if he really wanted to see what she thought of him from her perspective. He didn't want to feel the hatred she had for him for daring to kiss her, or the love she felt for Ron Weasley. He didn't know if he could bear it.
"I'll give you a few days to think about it." Snape decreed at the boy's lack of response. "If you want to drop out, I'll understand. It's a difficult, dark science that requires a great deal of mental effort for someone as young as you. But please, Draco, continue meditating. You have an obvious aptitude for Occlumency, and I wouldn't want... I wouldn't want all your efforts to be in vain."
Draco nodded, and Snape dismissed him with a coldness almost as palpable as the temperature of the room.
When he arrived in the common room, Draco was not surprised to find a tipsy Pansy. She was dancing limply around the gramophone, a green cup in her hand and black lipstick smeared around her mouth. Daphne was next to her, but she wasn't dancing: she had her arms folded across her chest and was glaring at Blaise, but he hadn't noticed her, too busy chatting to a very pretty girl at the liquor table. He was obviously talking to her about his ranking of the best meads.
Draco hesitated to have a drink as well, but decided to take a shower instead. He went to the dormitory and opened the door a little too loudly, startling Theo who was reading a book in his bed.
"Sorry." Draco said when he saw him. "I thought you were in the Library."
"I was, but it just closed." Theo explained in an empty voice. "I thought you were with Snape."
"I was, but he blew me off." Draco grumbled as he sat down on his bed. He rubbed his eyes and yawned into his hand. "He says I'm too tired to train properly."
Theo muttered an hmm.
Draco took a second to watch his best friend. He was painfully pale, he could see the dark veins protruding from under the skin of his neck and hands. He looked exhausted. Draco wondered if he too had been suffering from insomnia lately.
"Theo..." Draco called softly.
The boy lifted his head, a lock of chestnut hair falling in front of his blue eyes. He was so innocent, like that. It was hard to believe that this was the same boy who had arrived in a chimney cave covered in blood, or who had looked Death in the face with those same sincere eyes.
"Yeah?"
"You... How are you?" asked Draco.
Theo frowned slightly at his question. It was probably the first time Draco had shown his concern so openly. He had never been very good at talking about feelings, preferring to run away and avoid all painful topics. This time, however, he wanted to make sure Theo was okay. He didn't care what he'd witnessed to see the Thestrals, or what terrible secrets he was probably keeping. He didn't even care if Theo suddenly started crying without warning. Draco just wanted to show him that he was there. That he cared about him.
That he loved him, as much as he loved him.
"Not so great." Theo admitted, with a little quiver in his voice that he hid with a mirthless laugh.
Draco sat down on his bed to face him.
"Is it because of Hagrid and his Thestrals?" he guessed.
He nodded sadly.
"Yeah, let's just say... it brought back memories I thought I'd forgotten a long time ago. Things I didn't want to think about anymore." Theo confessed quietly.
Draco understood better why Pansy had criticised Hagrid during Umbridge's inspection. Pansy had never liked Hagrid, but now that he'd traumatised Theo, she'd gone out of her way to make life difficult for him. She'd made Umbridge note all sorts of things, and she'd eagerly written down every one of her complaints, including that Hagrid had a particular fondness for dangerous creatures. With what she'd told Umbridge, Hagrid would probably be kicked out of Hogwarts at any moment, and despite Granger's distress at the prospect, Draco felt nothing but comfort.
"I understand." Draco replied. "Hagrid was stupid to bring them here in the first place."
"Anyway, I don't really want to talk about it." Theo said in an apologetic tone. "I'm just not ready to..."
"I don't want to know, Theo." Draco said firmly. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here. If you need to talk about it, or even cry, or whatever, I'm here."
Theo looked at Draco without hiding his relief at hearing such a sentence.
"Thank you." he said honestly. "I never thought I'd hear those words out of your mouth."
Draco shrugged and bent down to untie his shoes.
"You're my best friend, you're one of the only people I could say that kind of crap to." he replied.
"Not even Crabbe and Goyle?" Theo joked.
Draco rolled his eyes, although he was secretly pleased that Theo was making jokes again. It hadn't happened in too long.
"Crabbe and Goyle would never have wept over a unicorn." Draco replied with a mischievous grin.
Theo replied by throwing a pillow in his face, a habit he'd probably picked up from Pansy, and they both burst out laughing at the same time.
Draco headed for the bathroom, but just before he stepped through the door, Theo said behind his back:
"Weird time, don't you think? What with your thing with Pansy, Blaise acting so weird since the beginning of the year, Umbridge controlling Hogwarts, the Dark Lord back..."
He shuddered and didn't finish his sentence, choosing instead to snuggle under the covers.
"Yeah, weird time." Draco conceded.
"Are you all right?" asked Theo.
Draco sighed. No, I'm not. I'm not.
"Not so great." he replied, echoing Theo's answer from earlier. "Pansy..."
Theo nodded, immediately understanding what he was referring to.
"She'll forgive you." Theo said confidently. "You've apologised, just give her time to digest it all and everything will go back to the way it was. It's Pansy. She could never stop being friends with you, you know that."
Draco nodded with a small smile and locked himself in the bathroom. He hurried into the bath for fear of lingering on the rim, where he had kissed Pansy and managed to ruin everything in the space of a few seconds, or towards the mirror, where he could see the haematoma Weasley had given him turning a horrible yellowish colour. Blaise had told him he looked like Hagrid, and he had hated the fact that he was right.
As Draco washed, he thought about what Theo had said. "You've apologised, just give her time to digest everything and everything will go back to the way it was." He hoped that was true. It was actually one of his fondest wishes. He couldn't live properly without Pansy. It was as if his whole balance had been shattered. As if one of the pillars holding his existence in place had disappeared, causing all the pieces to fall apart. He was lost, he had no anchor, no one to hold on to as everything came crashing down. Pansy had to forgive him, she had to.
"You don't need to apologise to me, Dray, you need to apologise to Pansy." Blaise had told him, right after he had broken his nose.
Draco realised then that he hadn't really done it. He hadn't really apologised to her. He had told her over and over again that he had done something stupid, that he shouldn't have done it and that he wanted her to forgive him, but he hadn't apologised. Not out loud. Not explicitly. And maybe that was what she was waiting for.
He got out of the shower and dressed, brushed his teeth and fixed his hair, which was all messed up, then went back to the dormitory. The torches were all out. Theo had closed his curtains and Blaise's bed was empty. Draco put his things away and was about to get into bed when he heard a soft knock on the door.
When he opened it, he was not surprised to see Pansy. She was dead drunk, he could tell just by her posture, half leaning against the wall, obviously holding herself back from falling.
"I... I..." she said in a slow, pasty voice.
"Come in." Draco replied.
She stumbled into the dormitory and fell across Draco's bed. As soon as her head hit the duvet, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
Draco cast a spell of silence around his bed to avoid waking Theo, then removed Pansy's heels. He couldn't understand how she could walk in them, let alone dance. He then removed her tights and skirt, closing his eyes to respect her privacy, even though he'd seen her in knickers a hundred times before. He put on one of her favourite pyjama shorts, leaving her shirt on, then covered her with the blanket so that the top of her head was sticking out, her favourite sleeping position.
He slid down beside her and looked at her. Her eyes were still painted with make-up and her black lipstick had stained Draco's sheets, but he couldn't care less. He was so happy that despite the mistake he'd made last weekend, Pansy still trusted him enough to sleep with him drunk. He was so relieved that he hadn't destroyed the strange and powerful bond they'd always had.
"Pans. I'm sorry." Draco mumbled idly.
Pansy continued to sleep. Draco couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her face so relaxed.
He thought about Theo, who must still be awake a few feet away from him, and Blaise, who hadn't returned, probably sleeping with another girl to hide the real unhappiness he'd been suffering for weeks.
And Draco realised then that his dysfunctional group of friends had probably become the closest thing to a family he had.
.
.
.
.
On Saturday morning, Pansy didn't show up for breakfast.
It wasn't particularly unusual behaviour, as she sometimes skipped breakfast at the weekend, but Draco wasn't fooled. He was sure she was avoiding him. That she was depriving herself of food so as not to have to face Draco for an entire meal.
He stared at his empty seat for twenty minutes, lost in thought. When he looked up to warm his lukewarm coffee, he was caught by chocolate eyes. Granger was staring at him over the top of her Potions textbook, completely unperturbed by the fact that she was surrounded by no less than seven Gryffindors. Still, she was staring at Draco, her eyes full of reproach and suppressed anger, and Draco would be lying if he said he didn't feel a surge of adrenaline running through his veins when he met her gaze.
He quickly turned away, focusing his attention back on Theo and Blaise, who were eating in silence next to him.
"You do know what day it is, don't you?" he asked.
"Of course we do." Blaise replied immediately. "How could we ever forget?"
"I ruined it." Draco lamented in a small voice. "I managed to ruin this day, on top of everything else. She'll never forgive me."
Blaise and Theo exchanged a pitying look, which might have irritated Draco if he wasn't so hurt. He put his head in his hands, both in dismay and to avoid the temptation to look at Granger. He suddenly regretted going to breakfast. He should have stayed in bed and moped all day.
As if reading his mind, Blaise slapped him hard on the back:
"For fuck's sake, pull yourself together, Dray!"
Draco stood up abruptly.
"You're feeling sorry for yourself instead of doing something about it." Blaise said, pointing at his desperate posture.
A few owls flew in through the windows of the Great Hall, dropping mail here and there. Blaise received his usual Daily Prophet, but instead of opening it to read as he did every morning, he tore out the last page and handed it to Draco with a determined look on his face:
"Take this and bring it to her. Apologise and let's get this over with, Merlin."
Theo nodded vigorously, unable to speak because his mouth was full of milk. But Blaise's determined look was convincing enough for both of them: Draco felt a new vibration of hope take hold of him. He tore the page of horoscopes from his hands and nodded firmly:
"You're right. I'll go."
And he left the Great Hall at full speed.
Draco only stopped in the hall to wonder where Pansy could be. He knew she wasn't in Daphne's dormitory because she had trouble sleeping. He doubted she was smoking a cigarette in the Transfiguration courtyard, because McGonagall usually walked through there on Saturdays, and she'd almost been caught too many times to try the experiment again. She wasn't in the Common Room or the Great Hall. She never went to the Library, and even less to the Owlery, since she didn't have any mail to send.
So, Draco set off for Hogwarts Park.
As he walked through the front door, he realised he had forgotten one small detail: it was the middle of November. The cold gripped him so tightly it hurt, but he kept walking. He didn't even brush away the snowflakes that landed gently on his cheeks or hair, Draco just walked straight ahead, focused on his goal.
He took the path that led to the Hogwarts valley, making sure not to look at the unoccupied bench he had been dreaming of going to every night for the past two weeks. He made his way down, almost slipping on the ice several times, and finally found what he was looking for when he reached the last section of the path. Between the two greenhouses of Herbology, he spotted Pansy's hair, a jet-black sheen that stood out against the snowy landscape around her like an ink stain on white paper. He couldn't see her face, but he could make out the small glowing beam at the end of her cigarette.
When he reached her, he noticed that she wasn't dressed for the weather either. She was wearing her timeless torn tights, a grey skirt and a long-sleeved black t-shirt that was too big for her.
She heard his footsteps covered by the snow and gasped:
"Fuck, Draco, you scared me to death..."
"May I?" he asked, pointing to the seat next to her.
She looked at him for a second as she took a deep drag on her cigarette, then shrugged. Draco sat down and immediately sank a few inches into the powder. He tried not to show how much the cold was affecting him, but it was hard to hide it on his face. His legs were already numb.
He handed her the torn page of the horoscopes. She stared at it for a moment without saying anything.
Then, Draco whispered:
"Happy birthday, Pansy."
She didn't look up, holding her cigarette in her hand. Her face was unreadable, hidden by a lock of dark hair that Draco longed to pull away so he could analyse her expression. For a whole minute they didn't speak, enveloped in an icy silence. Then Pansy's hand reached out to take the sheet.
"Thank you."
Draco couldn't hold back the sigh of relief that squeezed his chest. He inhaled, indifferent to the burning sensation in his nose, and turned his full attention to her to say in a tone that dripped with sincerity:
"Pansy, I'm so sorry."
She widened her eyes slightly.
"I don't know what came over me. I should never have kissed you, I didn't think about how you might feel and I'm terribly sorry. I apologise. I'm so sorry, Pans'."
Pansy didn't react immediately, as if she wanted to absorb his words. Then she raised her cigarette to her mouth, took another drag and spat out the smoke calmly. It was so cold it could have frozen in the air.
"She's changed you." she said.
Draco understood immediately to whom she was referring. The whole atmosphere around them became even more frosty, but Draco was far too cold to feel the change. The only source of heat around him was the small flame that Pansy was rekindling with her wand to light her cigarette.
"Good or bad?" he asked.
She thought for a second, her eyes fixed on the glass wall of the greenhouse in front of them.
"Good." she decided.
Draco smiled slightly. To hear her say it, you'd almost think she'd just complimented Granger.
Pansy crushed her cigarette butt into the snow, leaving a burnished hole in the white surface, then huffed:
"I forgive you, Draco."
"You do?" he said, hope piercing his hoarse voice.
She sighed and shrugged.
"I don't really have a choice, I suppose. I can't function very well when we're arguing."
He nodded, because he'd felt the same way. Pansy was the one person for whom his world stopped when she walked away. It was as if he was physically unable to breathe. Well, one of two people.
Draco took his wand from his pocket and cast a Warmth spell around them, which Pansy didn't even seem to notice. The spell bundled them together and he enjoyed the thrill of forgiveness and warmth on his icy skin.
"But don't ever do that again, please." she asked in a low voice.
"I promise." he assured her immediately.
Pansy sank deeper into the snow and looked around, taking another cigarette from her pack. Draco pointed to the page he had given her:
"So, what are you up to for your birthday?"
Pansy grinned and read aloud:
"Scorpions: Get ready for a turbulent day! An unexpected surprise awaits you tonight, even if it seems far away due to the tiredness you've been feeling for the past few weeks. Perhaps some herbal tea before bed would do you some good?"
Pansy clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and crumpled the paper into a ball.
"What a fraud." she muttered, clearly annoyed by these predictions.
"If you say so. Give me a cigarette."
Pansy handed him the packet. He took one of the sticks and put it between his lips. Draco rarely, if ever, smoked, but he felt he had a right to this one. He hadn't slept for days and missed the Library terribly. He needed to take out his frustration on something, and tobacco seemed the ideal solution.
Pansy lit it with an expert flick of her wand and they smoked in silence. Draco watched the snow fall on the roof of the greenhouse and found the sight soothing, without really knowing why. The flakes that fell on them melted against their skin because of Draco's spell. There was no sound, except for Pansy's steady breathing. Everything was peaceful.
Draco was so caught up in it that he almost didn't see the two silhouettes approaching from his right. When he turned his head, his heart leapt into his chest, so much so that he swallowed hard and spat out a cloud of grey smoke.
Granger was standing there, just a few feet from him.
She was with that bloody Longbottom, holding a green notebook and... picking flowers? The image might have made him burst out laughing if Granger's stare hadn't been so murderous. She had stopped in the middle of the path, arms crossed, an expression of fury aimed straight at him.
Even though her nose was red from the cold and half of her face was hidden by her Gryffindor scarf, Draco couldn't help but feel a small pang of fear seeing her like that. Merlin knew what Granger could be like when she was upset, she could be even scarier than he was.
"Uh-oh." Pansy commented with a hint of amusement. "I think you're in trouble."
"What are you talking about?" asked Draco grumpily.
"You know what."
Draco muttered something that sounded more like a grunt than anything else, but he didn't put his cigarette back in his mouth before Granger turned on her heels and said in her high pitched voice:
"Let's go, Neville. Looks like the corner's already taken."
Poor Longbottom trotted after her to catch up, and Granger strode off down the path without looking back, her braids dancing down her back.
"She doesn't seem too pleased to see you smoking in my company." Pansy remarked in an almost sing-song phrase.
"I don't give a fuck what Granger thinks." Draco replied dryly.
He stubbed out his half-smoked cigarette and watched the ash melt the snow powder with an uncomfortable lump in his throat.
It was probably the biggest lie he'd ever told in his life.
Draco had lunch with Pansy and, to his great misfortune, Daphne. Daphne spent the meal discussing the latest collection of Milliner handbags, and Draco was amazed that it was possible to talk about handles for twenty minutes straight. Pansy listened intently and gave her opinion on each of the bags in question, and very quickly their discussion turned into a series of over-excited squeaks in Draco's ear. But he stayed anyway, to please Pansy, who had only just forgiven him, and also to watch Granger eat at her table.
Draco had developed techniques over the years for watching her as discreetly as possible, and he used them carefully so as not to be noticed. She was still wearing her braids, a hairstyle Draco particularly liked, and her skin was red from the cold. She had taken off her woolly bonnet, which she had probably knitted herself, but she was still wearing her scarf and cloak. Potter and Weasley were chatting next to her, but Granger paid them no attention, too focused on the huge book in front of her to hear them. Draco couldn't read the title, but from the wrinkle between her eyebrows and the way her eyes slowly scanned the page, he guessed it was a textbook on a subject far too difficult for any student in this Castle.
"I have to buy this model this afternoon!" exclaimed Daphne, bringing Draco back to the present. She showed Pansy a cut-out magazine page and pointed to a bright red scale bag. "Want to come with me?"
Draco had completely forgotten that a trip to Hogsmeade was planned for that very afternoon. He now understood why Granger had kept her cloak on, she was probably waiting for Potter and Weasley to go with her.
"I'm not going to Hogsmeade today." Pansy said with a sigh. "I have to get everything ready for the party tonight."
Daphne pouted.
"You're going to plan your own birthday party?" asked Draco in surprise. "But..."
"I want to organise it myself because last year's was rubbish." Pansy said in a tone that didn't call for discussion.
Draco didn't reply because he knew what her sentence implied: he had missed last year's party to spend the evening with Granger on their bench.
As for Daphne, she didn't miss the opportunity to glare at Draco. She obviously didn't agree with Pansy's decision to forgive him.
As Granger left with Potter, Weasley and Longbottom, Draco found himself without any distractions apart from the endless discussion about bloody handbags. He looked at the door to the Great Hall and wondered where Theo and Blaise could be. Merlin, he was so desperate that he even wished Crabbe and Goyle were there. Surely they would have found something more interesting to talk about. Daphne's shrill voice was giving him a headache.
As she circled her favourite bags on the magazine page between giggles, Draco stood up, unable to take it any longer:
"See you later?" he suggested to Pansy, who nodded.
He returned to the Common Room and no sooner had the door opened than he found Blaise and Theo. Blaise was wearing his winter uniform, cloak and gloves. Theo, on the other hand, was covered in layers of clothing from head to toe. When he turned to face him, Draco found it hard to make out his face through the three hoods he had piled over his head.
"Ah, Draco, you're just in time!" he exclaimed when he saw him. "I need some money."
"Are you going to Hogsmeade?" asked Draco, analysing Theo's outfit with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Blaise replied, as composed as ever.
"And you want money to buy your chocolate, I suppose?" asked Draco in an almost mocking tone.
"No!" Theo replied fervently. "We're going to buy a present for Pansy!"
"Theo's had the idea for weeks." Blaise explained as Theo added a scarf around his neck. "It's brilliant."
"What is it?" asked Draco.
"Surprise." Theo replied. "But trust me, she's going to love it. Now give me some money and I'll say you participated."
"Alright, take it, it's in the green box in my suitcase." said Draco.
Theo nodded and went to it, but the amount of clothes prevented him from walking properly and he stumbled several times on the way. When he returned, his pockets were suspiciously more bulging than before.
"Thanks, see you later!"
They walked to the door of the Common Room, which opened at that moment. Pansy entered the room, still accompanied by Daphne, but when Daphne saw Blaise, she bolted into the dormitories, looking glum. Draco thought to himself that Daphne Greengrass was probably the most touchy person he knew.
"Where are you two off to?" asked Pansy, sizing up Theo and Blaise.
"Hogsmeade." Blaise replied.
Pansy immediately turned to Theo:
"Are you going to buy more chocolates? Theo, you've got four boxes left!"
Theo danced awkwardly from one foot to the other:
"You can never be too careful."
Pansy rolled her eyes and warned them coldly:
"Back no later than 6pm. You need to help get the party ready."
"We'll be here." Blaise promised. "See you then!"
And off they went, giggling like Pansy and Daphne a few minutes earlier.
Pansy then sat down on her favourite sofa and Draco took a seat in the armchair next to her. As soon as she was seated, Pansy lit a cigarette. When she offered one to Draco, he refused, but it had nothing to do with Granger's reaction that morning, it was purely out of lack of desire, nothing more.
"What's the theme of the party tonight?" he asked.
"Green." Pansy replied, a trickle of smoke escaping her lips as she spoke. "Everything will be green, from the outfits to the lights."
Draco nodded and they fell into the silence he loved so much. Pansy watched the room around them, probably working out everything she was going to prepare in her head. As her eyes swept around, Draco noticed that she wasn't showing the usual enthusiasm she always had before the parties. Usually she had a big smile on her face and was describing to everyone her mental plan to create "the party of the year".
This time, however, she didn't seem particularly happy about the event. In fact, it even seemed like a compulsion.
Now that he thought about it, Draco couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Pansy truly happy. He suspected that she was still affected by what he'd done and that it must have taken its toll on her mood, but Pansy hadn't looked like herself for months now. And no one had really noticed, because she was acting normal. Even Daphne, who Draco had seen cry more in three months than Pansy had in her entire life, didn't seem as affected.
Since the last year, Pansy had a kind of veil of sadness over her face that was hard to see if you didn't know her well. But Draco could see it. He could see the way her eyes glistened, or that she wasn't smiling like she used to, as if she was forcing herself to. He could see that his best friend was sad, and even when she tried to hide it by pretending to be fine, the veil never completely disappeared. Even when she kissed boys, when she laughed, when she danced at parties where alcohol flowed freely, the veil was there.
As Theo had so rightly said, it was a weird time. Everyone around him had been struck down by an unfathomable misfortune. And they were all behaving like typical Slytherins: isolating themselves, shutting down, pretending. Theo cried in his bed, Blaise ran away to be alone at the slightest opportunity, and Pansy drank herself into a blackout to avoid facing reality.
There was a heavy atmosphere in the Castle that Draco couldn't quite put his finger on. It was as if everyone was waiting for something to happen, something drastic. The Dark Lord's return was on everyone's minds and could be felt all the time. Draco couldn't believe he had given in to his impulses by kissing Granger in such a context.
How could his feelings for her have outweighed the terror he felt every day?
Draco tried to meditate, but couldn't really. It was frustrating. He couldn't control his mind, his fears escaping before he could tame them. He could Occlude, but his mental walls were shaking, as if the door to his mental library was about to explode from the accumulation of books on the floor. Draco didn't dare go back inside; he wasn't ready to put away the last memories of his life.
Feeling the beginnings of anxiety in his chest, he stood up and muttered something about a shower. Pansy nodded absently and he headed for the dormitories, feeling an unpleasant stranglehold on his ribs.
And as if all his current problems weren't enough, Merlin obviously wanted to punish him even more.
Because Draco faced the notice for the November prefect rounds.
And he had one scheduled with Granger for the next day.
.
.
.
.
Pansy and Draco were playing cards in the empty Common Room when Theo and Blaise returned from Hogsmeade. Their hoods were covered in snow, but for the first time in his life, Theo didn't seem to mind. He was holding something behind his back and Draco realised it was Pansy's gift. They slipped off discreetly towards the dormitories without Pansy noticing them behind her back, returning a few minutes later with two broad smiles on their faces.
"Back so soon?" asked Pansy, placing a Heart Mage on the pile of cards.
"Yes, we wanted to wish you a happy birthday before the party started." Blaise replied proudly.
Pansy looked up at them.
"What?" she asked.
"Happy birthday, Pansy!" exclaimed Theo.
He showed her a small plate with a slice of cherry cake on it. He lit the single candle in it and placed it on the coffee table in front of her.
"Happy birthday!" they sang in unison.
Pansy looked at the slice of cake in surprise, as if she couldn't believe they could have done such a thing. She blew out the candle as the boys applauded.
"Thank you so much, it makes me so happy!" she said, a genuine smile finally forming on her lips.
"And that's not all..." Theo said, handing her a huge wrapped package, which he placed on the coffee table, right on top of the stack of cards. "Your gift, from the three of us."
Pansy and Draco looked at the box for a moment. It was beautifully wrapped in purple paper with waving flowers and a pretty white bow. The gift was so big that Draco could only see the top of Pansy's head above it.
She stood up and sat down on the sofa behind her, pointing at the gift without understanding:
"Why don't you give it to me at the party?" she asked.
Theo, who had been smiling since he entered the room, opened his arms to show the empty Common Room:
"We wanted to be alone. We took advantage of everyone having dinner to give it to you now."
Pansy looked suspiciously at Theo and Blaise, then turned to Draco:
"You knew about this?"
"I knew they'd used the chocolates excuse to buy you this, but they refused to tell me what it was." he replied honestly. "They said it was a surprise."
"Come on, Pans', open it!" exclaimed Blaise, clearly eager to see her reaction.
Pansy took the package in her lap and inspected the wrapping paper with a small, touched smile. Then she carefully opened the lid and bent her head to look inside.
When she saw the contents of the gift, she froze completely.
Draco then saw, for the first time in weeks, Pansy's veil tear slightly, the mask breaking, enough for him to see true happiness flood her face. It was pure and so sincere that Draco found himself unintentionally holding his breath. Pansy's black pupils automatically filled with tears of joy, and she put a hand to her mouth to cover the exclamation that escaped.
"No, you didn't... It's not possible, it's..."
"Yes, it is." Blaise confirmed, watching Pansy cry with happiness as if it were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "It's for you. It was Theo's idea."
Draco watched Pansy gasp and felt a deep gratitude to Blaise and Theo for coming up with the idea, whatever it was.
"What is it?" he asked with a hint of impatience, because he couldn't see what was at the bottom of the box from where he was sitting.
Pansy plunged both arms into the box and slowly pulled them out, as if holding something extremely fragile. Her eyes never left the gift for a second.
When Draco finally saw what she was holding, however, his smile immediately faded from his face.
"What the hell is that thing?" he asked in a tone of disgust.
Pansy was holding some sort of large ball of long white hair, no bigger than her forearm. As she fumbled with it, Draco saw a snout hidden by the impressive amount of hair the beast possessed, and then two black eyes embedded in its fur, looking around the room frantically. The creature stuck out its tongue, giving it an air of stupidity that Draco had rarely seen in living creatures other than Crabbe and Goyle.
"What do you think?" Theo said to Draco. "It's a dog, obviously."
"I beg you pardon? Dogs don't look like that!" protested Draco. "Dogs are big, they're majestic, and this thing is just..."
He couldn't even describe the beast Pansy had placed on her lap. She stroked it and talked to it in a honeyed voice, and Blaise looked tenderised by the spectacle. They both sat down in the chairs around the sofa, as if none of them dared get too close to Pansy and the furry creature.
"It's a Pomeranian." she explained quietly, looking at it as if it were an extremely rare and expensive gem. "I've always dreamed of owning one... How did you know?" she asked, turning to Theo and Blaise, her face streaked with tears.
"Remember when we were wondering what kind of Animagus we'd be if we could turn?" asked Blaise. "Theo had the idea then. You said you'd always dreamed of having a dog, so we thought it might be a good time to get you one. That way, you won't be lonely anymore."
"And we didn't tell Draco, just for the fun of watching him decompose." Theo added with a chuckle.
"Merlin, I can't believe it..." Pansy whispered. "A dog, just for me... It's... It's the best present I've ever been given. Thank you so much, I... I love you all so much."
She stood up to hug them, crushing the poor "dog" against their chests as she did so. When they sat down again, the creature rolled into a ball on Pansy's lap, tongue still hanging out.
"We found him in the pet shop in Hogsmeade, the Hairy Paradise..." Theo began.
Draco burst out laughing at the name.
"... And the shopkeeper told us that he was born on the 2nd of November. He's a Scorpio, like you."
Pansy let out a muffled sob, and the "dog" yipped happily.
"What does it..." said Draco, unsure of how to phrase his question. "What does it do?"
Blaise gave him a funny look.
"Well, he drools, mostly."
"No, but I mean... What powers does it have?"
"None." Theo replied with an amused smile. "But the shopkeeper told us it's a very emotional breed. It's a male, by the way. And we bought a lot of extra stuff for him..."
He rummaged around at the bottom of the box and pulled out an embroidered green basket, two bowls that were practically its size, a small bag to carry it in, boxes of dog food, a purple leash, a comb and even a powder pink bow that Pansy hastily put on its furry head. Draco thought it made it look like Umbridge, but he preferred not to say it out loud.
"But how are you going to make it... do..?" asked Draco, turning to Pansy.
"We've thought of everything." Blaise replied in her place. "Dogs aren't allowed at Hogwarts, but we thought you could take him out early in the morning and late at night. And we've bought a little invisibility cloak, so you can walk him around the corridors without him being noticed."
He held up a blue cloak, no bigger than a tea towel.
"No risk, even in the open. He looks more like a cat than a dog." Draco scoffed.
"And this summer, Blaise will keep him at home, so your father won't see him." Theo said.
Blaise nodded. Draco was relieved to know that this matter was already settled, because he could hardly imagine his mother's face when he brought that walking hairball back to her precious Manor.
"He's absolutely adorable." Pansy said, stars in her eyes. "I love him already!"
She scooped up the beast and laid him on her shoulder for a cuddle, oblivious to the licks he gave her on the neck.
"What are you going to call him, Pans'?" asked Blaise.
"Snot?" offered Draco with a laugh that was quickly stifled by the pillow Pansy threw in his face. "Why are you throwing this at me? It looks like a crumpled handkerchief!"
"Stop it!" snapped Pansy indignantly, as if the dog was capable of understanding his mockery. "Don't you think he's cute?"
She turned the dog to face him. They looked at each other for a second, and Draco had the uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing, but he held himself back so as not to hurt Pansy, who seemed so happy with her new companion, and shrugged vaguely:
"He's... ok."
Pansy seemed satisfied with that answer. She put the dog back in front of her to stroke its head. Theo laughed at Draco's deflation and Draco gave him the finger.
"I have no idea what to call him though..." said Pansy, looking at her dog, perhaps hoping it would give her an answer.
"Cloud?" offered Blaise.
"Hm... He does look like a cloud..." said Pansy, analysing him.
Draco thought it looked more like a deformed rat, but nodded anyway when Pansy turned to him, silently asking for his opinion.
"Diva?" Theo tried. "Look at the way he's settled, he's clearly a diva."
"But that's more of a feminine name." Pansy disagreed.
"Oatmeal?" offered Draco.
Pansy shook her head with a grimace.
"Why not Zabini II?" asked Blaise with a teasing smile.
She rolled her eyes.
"Handbag?" said Theo.
"How awful..."
"Fluffy?" offered Draco.
"Sounds like a name Hagrid might give one of his creatures." Pansy replied with an offended look.
"Cotton?"
Pansy brushed Blaise's suggestion aside with a wave of her hand.
"Spooky?" Theo supplied.
"He's not spooky at all!"
"Yogurt?" offered Draco, who thought it looked good with its all-white fur. "Or Snowflake?"
"Hmm..." said Pansy, deep in thought.
"Merlin?" suggested Blaise.
"It would be an insult to Merlin to call this thing like him." Draco said. Seeing the dark look Pansy gave him, he turned to the dog: "No offence."
"Hufflepuff?" tried Theo, who seemed to be taking great pleasure in making this list.
"He's not a Hufflepuff!" protested Pansy immediately.
"Dark Lord?" said Blaise, and everyone burst out laughing.
"Crabbe?" suggested Draco, imagining Pansy calling her dog outside and Crabbe running towards her.
Theo was laughing so hard that he had to lean forward in his chair.
"Severus Snape?" he offered between giggles.
The dog watched the exchange, turning his head back and forth between the three hilarious boys.
"No, I think I'd like to call him something to do with Divination..." said Pansy, looking at the animal with a pensive expression.
"Bullshit?" Theo replied instantly. He tilted his head to the side to dodge a possible projectile from Pansy, but she was too deep in thought to notice.
"A planet name?" asked Blaise, his head bursting with ideas. "Pluto? Jupiter?"
"Orion?" chimed in Draco, who liked the idea of the dog being named after a constellation like himself.
"The Grim?" said Theo, who seemed quite amused that such an insignificant thing could be named as the darkest omen in existence.
"Pollux? Mirzam? Sirius, the brightest in the Major Canis constellation?" enunciated Blaise.
"Sirius, seriously? Like the serial killer?" retorted Theo.
"Actually, I think I like Theo's idea." said Pansy suddenly, silencing them simultaneously.
He turned to her, puzzled:
"Er... Which one?"
"Bullshit." said Pansy evasively, still stroking her dog's head.
"Excuse me? Are you seriously going to call your dog Bullshit?" huffed Blaise, apparently offended that she hadn't chosen one of his suggestions.
"No, of course not." replied Pansy, looking up at them. "But it made me think of the planet Eris..."
Draco frowned at the same time as Blaise: they hadn't seen this planet in Astronomy class yet. Theo, however, nodded in agreement:
"Right, the planet of discord. "
"Exactly. The dwarf planet, which goes perfectly with his size." said Pansy. "And in Divination, Eris symbolises chaos, disturbance, agitation. And I think this dog comes at just the right time. Don't you think?"
She carried the animal in question up to her eye level.
"Yes, that's it." said Pansy. "I'm going to name you Eris."
The dog barked, and Pansy certainly took the noise as approval, because the name was sealed at that moment.
Eris.
And Draco didn't know it yet, but Eris, small as he was, had officially taken a big place in the very private sphere of his dysfunctional family that he loved so much.