Bella

With her engagement ring staring back at her, she'd never felt more alone. All this time, Bella had convinced herself she didn't need anyone. The truth was she never had, but now it had been month 2, and she missed Edward desperately. They texted all the time. He and Renesmee had flown up to see her, and been there for her seminars.

She missed him. Badly. But what was she supposed to do? Cancel her tour? That would not only disappoint thousands who were in need of her guidance but also rob her of her purpose.

Angela did what she could, rearranging photo shoots, interviews, and meetings so that Bella could have more time in between, to give her longer breaks. Three days here. 4 days there. It was never enough time.

Bella had her things packed and was ready to depart for Cleveland. Her next seminar was coming up, and though she normally would've used this time to go over materials and prepare a slideshow, she wanted to fly back to Portland.

Deciding to stay for 2 days, she hopped on the red eye with the hope of catching Edward before he left for work. It was a work day, and Edward had already texted her good morning.

Good morning, my sweet. I hope you slept well.

Giddy now as she walked up the sidewalk to his door, she texted back with a smile. Not so well, actually. It had always been difficult for her to sleep on airplanes. Bella couldn't wait to see him and Renesmee and collapse into a nice cozy bed. She rang the doorbell, with her suitcase in hand. When the door opened, the woman on the other side squealed with excitement.

Alice—the nanny, petite as Edward had described. Her jaw was on the floor. Sometimes, Bella got that reaction from people, though she knew she wasn't different than anyone else.

"Bella Swan!"

"What?" Edward's voice said in the background. "Is that Bella?"

Then Renesmee's voice. "Bella's here?!"

Starstruck, Alice stood there, covering her mouth with her hand, and Edward appeared, filling the doorway with his presence. When he swept her into his arms, Bella knew she'd done the right thing. She'd missed him so much, breathing in the comfort of sandalwood and spice.

"Bella!" Renesmee's arms wrapped around her. "You're here! You're here!"

Edward took her suitcase, and Renesmee looped her arm into hers, leading her inside while Alice darted around the room, flitting like a butterfly to get Bella anything she wanted.

"Coffee?" Alice offered. "Oh, you probably drink tea."

"Tea would be wonderful," Bella said.

"I wish you'd warned me," Edward said. "I have to be in court in an hour, but…"

Renesmee looked up at him with soulful puppy eyes. "Daddy? Can I stay home?"

Edward looked to Bella. Alice had been free until Renesmee needed to be picked up, but now, Alice set a cup down in front of her on the coffee table, looking like she was holding back a hundred questions.

"After a nap, I would love to spend some time with Nessie."

"That sounds perfect," Edward said. "I'll wrap whatever I can at the office and leave court as soon as I can."

"Don't rush," Nessie said, grasping Bella's hand. "We can have some girl time."

He smiled and gestured for Nessie to finish breakfast. He led her towards his room, taking her suitcase and carrying it up despite its long handle.

"I wish you'd told me you were coming. I would have…"

"What? Not shown up at court? No, Edward. Do what you have to do. Besides, I was prepared for you to be busy. Of course, I'd hoped to spend some time together later…"

He nodded and took her into his arms, and Bella reveled in the strength of his chest and arms. "I'm on it. When do you have to go back?"

"I'm here for 2 full days and go back Wednesday for a meeting in Cleveland at 12:30."

"That's all, huh?"

"Oh, I know. I wish it was longer, but let's just enjoy the time we have."

Edward smiled and pressed his lips against hers. "Yes, you're right. I'm just a little breaktaken. This is such a happy surprise. I just thought it was going to be an ordinary Monday." He offered her something to eat or drink, but her eyes stung from fatigue, and a wide yawn sprung from her mouth. "You've been on a plane. Okay. Yes. Rest. We'll see each other later. Nessie's staying home, so whatever you need…"

Her gaze wandered to the fluffy pillows on the bed, and she smiled at the forest green comforter, longing to bury herself in it. Edward had made some changes, had purchased bedding, even framed some recent pictures of Nessie.

"Don't fuss over me. I'll be fine. I just need a few hours."

His lips met hers, and her arms circled his back, and though it was meant to be just a kiss goodbye, it awoke the part in her that reminded Bella that it had been over a month since the last time they made love.

She gripped him, leading him backward until he'd landed on top of her. A knock at the door drew Edward on his feet.

"So, yeah, anything you need, just ask Nessie."

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving," Alice said, but she lingered in the doorway. "But if you need anything at all, Miss Swan, I'm happy to stay."

"Please call me Bella, and I'm fine, Alice. It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Thank you, Alice," Edward said, angling himself away, and Bella imagined that a part of him had been every bit awa as with her. "Do you want anything from the store?"

"No. I just need a few hours of sleep, and I'll be good to go. Thanks so much, Alice."

"Right. Okay." She hesitated in the doorway, and Bella imagined that she had questions. She remembered that at some point Nessie had attributed her influence to Alice. Alice had, in essence, been the one who'd started all this, Nessie's manifesting notwithstanding.

"And you and I can spend some time together too, Alice," Bella said.

Pixie-like, she stood frozen, as though her slippered feet were attached by roots. Her mouth gaped. "That would be amazing."

"Thank you, Alice. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Okay."

"I'll be in touch," Bella said, making the gesture of a phone with her hand.

Alice squealed as she darted off. Nessie replaced her at the door. "Hi, Bella, do you need anything?"

"No. I think I've got everything I need."

Edward glanced down at his watch, and frowned. "I have to go, my love."

Bella wished he didn't and leaned in and fully embraced his lips with her own. "Have an amazing day," she said. She wished him love and light as he walked away.

"Have a good nap," Nessie said as Edward scooted her out the door.

She lay down on Edward's bed, and her mind decided to bombard her with nagging thoughts. Looking around the room, she noticed Nessie's school picture and the neutral shades in the room, how he'd even made the bed. Her attention was drawn to a gleam on the dresser. Right smack dab in the middle sat a velvet ring box that held his ring. Rose. He hadn't worn it in months. In fact, he told her it was inside the jewelry box. Had he gotten rid of the jewelry box and kept the single memento of his late wife? Here was that reminder of Rose again on his dresser… front and center. This wasn't a problem, right? No, he wasn't still in an active phase of grief. Now, if he'd been wearing it on his finger…

Bella told herself that one day, he'd put that ring box away. But first he had to close it before he could put it away. She knew that grieving took many forms and many layers. A relationship such as theirs didn't go away just because she wanted it to.

Bella may have drifted off to sleep and found Rose sitting at the corner of the bed. The blonde had been watching her sleep, and it startled Bella at first.

Rose seemed to have this white light behind her, and a little smile sat on her lips. But wasn't it more of a smirk than a smile?

"You," Bella said. "You're Rose."

"And so smart. Like Edward told me you were. Yes, he talks to me everyday. Just because he can't see or hear me doesn't mean I'm not here."

"No, of course not."

"And you are trying to make him forget me."

"No, actually. I am trying to fit into his life. Trying to make myself fit with him and Renesmee."

"Yeah. Good luck with that."

"What is it? You're dead. Don't you want him to be happy?"

"I've always wanted Edward to be happy, but that doesn't mean that he can. Nor does that mean, especially for you, that you can be happy with him."

"I don't understand. Nessie said that you have been preparing her…"

"I've been preparing her for a new mother. And right now, that is not you."

Bella sat up, to find that in fact, nobody, not even an ethereal version of Edward's dead wife was sitting on the corner of the bed. "It was a dream," Bella whispered to herself. She'd had visitations before, even been able to sense the energy of passed loved ones. But this…no this couldn't have been a dream. It had been too real. When she peered at the time, she found that only an hour had passed, but as disturbed as she'd been by the dream, she'd not wanted to go back to sleep.

She found Nessie downstairs, reading, and Alice sitting on a recliner, doing the same.

They both looked up at her, and Alice smiled. "Did you get a good nap? You didn't sleep for very long."

"I'm okay. I…got what I needed." Not what she wanted, that was for sure.

Alice rose and hurried to the kitchen. Nessie threw her arms around Bella and the clatter of cupboards and dishes told Bella that Alice was determined to fuss over her.

"Alice, please don't go to any trouble," Bella told her. "I'm fine."

"We don't have much vegan food here, but…"

"Then how about we head out to check out Portland's selections?"

Alice giggled. "I'll drive."

Edward

When he arrived back it was after 1 PM, and he'd been unnerved by having to stay for the meeting and for an extra hour and prepare for the extension of this case.

Bella was at his house, and damn it if he didn't want to just up and quit.

He turned the doorknob, and music rang out from the other side. When he stepped inside he found the three females hopping about the living room in tutus. Bass pounded out through the television speakers as the music video accompanied them, though none of the ladies were looking at it. Nessie spun around Alice and Bella and her eyes finally landed on her dad.

"Daddy! You're home." Her forced smile showed him she wasn't so pleased. "Early. We're having a dance party."

"It was my idea," Bella said. "Dancing keeps the mind young and present."

Charmed by this display of playfulness, he hugged Ness and then Bella as Alice pointed the remote and clicked off the television. "I'm so sorry I interrupted."

"Maybe you can join us," Bella said.

Alice spoke up, "I brought extra tutus."

"And take away from all this girly fun? I wouldn't dream of it."

The disappointment clouded Alice's face, and she took her time going to the front door. "I'll leave you three alone. It was a blast, Bella."

"It sure was." Bella encircled Alice into her arms. "Thank you for driving."

"I'll be back tomorrow morning to take Nessie to school. Unless…"

"Sounds good, Alice," Edward told her. "Thank you for your help today."

They'd enjoyed spending the rest of the day together, Edward had taken Nessie and Bella to a movie and dinner, and though he'd enjoyed their time as a family, he couldn't wait to get her alone.

At bedtime, Bella and Nessie had been coloring when Edward announced that it was time for bed, and both pairs of eyes looked up at him. He hadn't had a moment to speak to her alone, and now he wasn't even sure how to proceed with sleeping arrangements.

"Is Bella gonna sleep in your bed?" Nessie asked, not missing a beat.

"Actually, I was going to go to a hotel."

"Why?" Edward and Nessie both asked at the same time.

"You can sleep in the guest room."

"Or with my dad," Nessie insisted.

Now, this was beyond Edward's comfort. He only guessed that his daughter was aware of how intimate their relationship had been, and it had been one thing for Bella to sleep in Edward's bed alone and another for her to sleep there with Edward in it. No, he couldn't confuse the situation with Nessie… as tempting as it was. He insisted on setting a higher moral standard for his daughter. They were not married yet, and so he was not going to have Bella in his bed…with Renesmee just in the other room.

"The guest room will be fine."

Bella's gaze darted down. "It's no trouble. I can get to a hotel, and be back to spend time tomorrow."

"That would not be the best idea," Edward said, though he didn't have the argument to back it up with. She'd been gone for months, and having her close by was the most desirable option. "Plus, why spend the money on a hotel when there's a perfectly good guest room right here?"

She lifted her shoulder. "I just don't think it's a good idea to sleep here."

Nessie popped up and lay her head on Bella's shoulder. "That's nonsense. You slept on my dad's bed earlier."

How he wished he could have her there tonight. And other wishes that he couldn't make come true. That she would stay longer…or better yet not have to leave at all…

Bella's face had this look of uncertainty. The playfulness he'd witnessed earlier had disappeared like a puff of smoke. Had something happened when he was gone?

"Ness, go brush your teeth," Edward said, determined to at least get his daughter settled. As far as he was concerned Bella was not to leave this house…if he had to handcuff her…

"On one condition," she said. Nessie looked from Edward to Bella. "Two…really."

Edward exhaled, not having the strength to deal with his daughter's negotiations. "The first one is?"

"That Bella will stay with us until she has to leave."

Excellent suggestion, and Edward wanted to kiss his daughter for that as Ness turned puppy eyes to Bella.

Though her hesitation pointed to the idea that this wasn't the easiest of solutions. He wondered why. "Fine. You've twisted my arm."

"Number 2?" Edward asked.

"Bella reads to me," Nessie said.

"Now, Ness…come on…Bella's tired…it's been a long day."

Bella stood up. "I would love to read to you."

That had been the easier of the agreements, and he wondered what objection she had to staying. He kissed Ness on the cheek, and while she brushed her teeth, he moved Bella's overnight bag to the other room.

A little while later, Edward shuffled through his papers on the table, anticipating Bella's return. He read and reread the laws, known them by heart, but his brain wasn't really processing the words. When Bella kissed him on his head, he looked up at her, happy for the excuse to be done with work.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," she said, backing away.

He gathered her into his arms with a smile. "Don't ever apologize for taking me away from my work. I still can't believe you're here with me right now. Now, can we talk about what that was all about earlier?"

"What? Oh, that was nothing."

"And you, Bella Swan, are lying. Why don't you want to stay here? Tell me the truth."

"Oh…"

Since her hemming and hawing was not giving him any clues, he decided guessing was in order. "Did you and Ness or Alice have a fight or disagreement?"

"No. Not at all. They are great. I had a really nice day with them."

"Okay then. Spill."

"I just had this uneasy feeling, Edward. About Rose when I was in your bed. I didn't feel welcome."

He nodded. "Oh…is that it? Okay, well, I apologize. That was my error for putting you in my room to begin with."

"No. It was more than that."

Edward took her hand in his, spying her finger where her engagement ring sat. All the other wedding plans could wait. "We haven't shopped for our rings. I shouldn't have let it go this long. That was my mistake." He stood and took her hands in his.

"It wasn't anybody's fault, Edward. We just ran out of time."

"Okay, so it's settled. Tomorrow I'm taking a short day. Nessie will go to school, and you and I will go to lunch and then head to the jewelers."

"Are you sure, Edward? Rings are a symbol, but…"

"No, no, I get it. You're uneasy because you're here, and we haven't discussed our engagement. It shows that I'm not serious."

"It's been so hard not to be here with you, Edward."

"It's been hard for me too, but we can work through this."

He wrapped his arms around her, and their bodies began to sway as if they were dancing to music until a yawn broke from her mouth.

"You're tired. And it's getting late. I ought to let you get some sleep."

"You have an early morning."

He did, but he was determined to spend time with Bella while he had her here within close proximity. He kissed her on her nose, and led her to the guest room, and this time, she met his lips his with a fire that took both their breaths away.

"I want you so badly, Edward," she told him, wanting to pull him on top of her.

His eyes were closed, and he relished the feel of her within his grasp, wanting to take her willing body right then and there. But Nessie…his conscience wouldn't allow it.

"Tomorrow," he promised.

They still struggled to let go of one another, and he had to drag himself away. "Good night, my sweet."

Was he going to be able to sleep, knowing her tempting body was just in the other room?

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella."

He tossed and turned that night, as anticipated, wanting to go see her in that room. But he reasoned that there were only hours left till they could have privacy.

When Renesmee woke him up, the clock showed it was 6:15, and tears welled in her eyes. "Daddy? Wake up. She's gone."

"What? Bella's gone?"

Nessie sniffled. "I went in to say good morning, and her bed was still made. Bella must've left when we were asleep. She left this note and her ring."

Edward rubbed his eyes, willing the words his daughter was saying to make sense in his head and taking the sheet of folded paper into his grasp. No…this didn't make any sense.

My dear Edward and Renesmee,

I apologize for leaving like this. I feel like the worst human for doing this to you both. Please don't hate me. I can't reconcile the timing with my purpose on this earth. Nor is it fair for you to leave you hanging for a relationship that may never work. I'm so very sorry for not speaking with you in person. Please forgive me. I will never forget either of you.

I love you both,

Bella.

A/N: Okay, so now I must bear all the hate. Is there anybody here who imagined that a long distance relationship was not going to work? Stay with me, and trust is always a good thing. ;) I've had some issues in my personal life so I appreciate your patience. I hope to get back on track (though this time of year is challenging with all the other tasks to be accomplished.) I appreciate EdwardsFirstKiss so much for her help on this chapter and she is amazing. Thanks, as well to the reviewers—I appreciate you as well. (By the way, if you'd like to leave a critical review, please give me the opportunity to respond by signing in—thanks so much.) Love and light to you all!