Hermione
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"Don't forget, you're Lavender Brown." Hermione said in a jerky voice as she and "Theo" raced up the stairs. "Gryffindor, fifth year. You're best friends with Parvati Patil, you know, the twin? Her sister's in Ravenclaw, Padma?"
Theo, in Lavender, which was deeply confusing, frowned his perfectly waxed blonde eyebrows:
"The one Potter danced with at the Yule Ball?" he asked.
"Yes, exactly. Parvati's in Gryffindor. The three of us share a dormitory."
"Okay... And who else am I friends with? Who's likely to talk to me?"
"Er... Maybe Ron, or Dean." Hermione said, thinking about Lavender's list of potential friends. "But you mustn't draw attention to yourself. You're supposed to have a cold in bed, so no one can remember you were there tonight!"
"Yeah, all right, all right." Theo said.
"Oh my God, Theo, your voice!" squeaked Hermione as she realised that Lavender's voice was nothing like that deep timbre.
"Shit, I forgot!" cried Theo, Lavender, in horror.
They stopped on a step and looked at each other, eyes wide. Hermione tried to think of a solution, but Theo shouted before she could:
"Oh, I know a spell to make the voice pitch!"
"What? How could you possibly know such a spell?" asked Hermione, trying to remember a voice-altering formula from the Charms lessons of recent years.
Lavender's cheeks turned rosy and she began to fidget nervously with her hands.
"Er... It was, er... For a joke with Blaise, to imitate Pansy..."
"And? Did it work?" asked Hermione.
"Yes, but I can't do it to myself, you have to cast it on me. Point your wand at my neck and say "Acutus"!"
Hermione took out her wand and complied:
"Acutus!"
A blue beam shot out of her wand and hit Theo's neck. Lavender's. He coughed a little and looked at her, eyebrows raised:
"Well?" he asked, his voice having changed radically, from deep intonations to a much more feminine voice that sounded a lot like Lavender's.
"Perfect." Hermione said and they ran back up the stairs. "I'll stay with you so no one offers to join you for training."
"I thought you didn't like Lavender?" asked Theo.
"Not really." Hermione admitted. "But it's not her, it's you."
Lavender smiled and Hermione recognised Theo's grin even on a face other than his own.
"Anyway, if anyone comes to talk to you, I'll try and speak for you." she said.
"All right." Theo said. Lavender. "What's "DA"?" he asked when they reached the fourth floor.
"It's what Harry's meetings are called. Dumbledore's Army." Hermione explained.
Theo gave her a big, ironic sideways glance. He obviously didn't like the Headmaster very much either.
"And this is the first meeting?" asked Lavender. Theo.
"No, it's the fourth tonight. I think there's only one more before the Christmas break."
"Well, let's hope Lavender Brown's cold keeps her bedridden for a few more weeks then." he, she, said sarcastically.
"Let's hope so." Hermione repeated.
When they reached the sixth floor, Theo asked:
"And where exactly is this meeting?"
"In the Room of Requirement." Hermione said. "It's a very special room we discovered at the beginning of the year. It takes the form of whatever we need as soon as we walk in front of it. So, when we needed to train somewhere where Umbridge couldn't find us, the Room took the form of a training room with training dummies and defence books."
Hermione had to take a deep breath as this sentence, combined with her rapid ascent, left her breathless.
"I've never heard of this room." Theo said in an indignant tone, as if he was outraged that he didn't have this information. "It's not even in..."
"Hogwarts: A History." Hermione finished, panting. "I didn't know either, it was Harry who showed me."
"It's as if Hogwarts wanted us to train despite the rule." he breathed after processing the existence of such a room.
Hermione nodded in agreement. She was sure she'd said this to Harry word for word a few weeks ago.
"And you're sure Umbridge won't stumble across it?" he asked.
"No, it's protected. No one can get in until someone reveals the secret." Then Hermione added, not hiding her pride, "I invented that condition."
Lavender looked at her with a certain admiration that Hermione had rarely seen on the blonde's face.
They finally reached the seventh floor and when Hermione checked her watch, she was surprised to see that they were only four minutes late. So much had happened since she'd picked up the hair on Lavender's pillow that it felt like over an hour. They paused for a moment to catch their breath.
"Ready?" the Gryffindor asked.
Lavender, Theo, nodded. Hermione began to make the three rounds necessary to open the Room of Requirement, repeating over and over in her head, "I need a room to practice defending myself."
When she finished, a wooden door magically appeared on the wall under Lavender's stunned gaze. There was a shadow of shock on the girl's face, but Theo quickly managed to hide his surprise. Hermione pushed the thick door open and they stepped inside.
Everyone was already in a semicircle in front of Harry. Lavender and Hermione approached discreetly and listened to the end of his explanation:
"-protection spells. I think we need to perfect them before we attack. I know some of you are still having a bit of trouble with the Shield Charm, perhaps we can work on that? And if we've got time, maybe we'll have another go at the Four-Point Spell, which will come in handy if we get lost, and maybe the Impediment Jinx for the more adventurous."
Harry spotted Hermione in the crowd of students:
"Ah, Mione, did you find what you were looking for?"
Hermione felt Lavender, Theo, tensing slightly beside her when Harry spoke.
"No, it was already closed." Hermione lied.
"Blimey. Tomorrow, then." Harry replied with a smile.
Everyone turned to look at Hermione when Harry addressed her, but fortunately, no one seemed to notice that Lavender was standing next to her. She blended in perfectly, even if it was a little strange to see her without Parvati. She, he, looked at Harry, transfixed by his words. Hermione knew that Theo was desperate to practice Impediment Jinx.
"All right, let's pair up!" Harry announced, clapping his hands.
Ron immediately stood next to Hermione.
"Ready?" he asked, pulling his wand out of his pocket.
"Er... Ron, I thought maybe today we could... change partners." Hermione said in a low voice.
Ron wrinkled his nose.
"What for?"
"We always train together." she explained. "Maybe it's better to open up to others, see different techniques, adapt to the opponent..."
"That's not a bad idea." said Harry, who had approached them. "Change it up a bit. Ron, why don't you go with Neville, he's got nobody."
"But..." stammered Ron, taken aback. "And who are you going with?" he asked Hermione.
"Actually, I was thinking of teaming up with Lavender." she replied, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Parvati's absent because she's got a cold, so I thought..."
"Lavender Brown?" repeated Ron in a low voice, as if there were several Lavenders in the Castle. "I thought you couldn't stand her?"
"Exactly, I thought it might help us get closer, you know." Hermione invented, glancing at the girl in question. Theo was obviously trying to adopt a natural posture, but Hermione had never seen Lavender cross her hands like that.
"Excellent idea." Harry said, but his eyes were glued to Cho and he wasn't really listening to the conversation. "Brilliant. Carry on..."
He walked over to Cho and Ron headed for Neville. Everyone stood in pairs, facing each other, and Hermione stepped in front of a stressed "Lavender".
"Ready?" Harry said as everyone got into position. "All right, get your wands out!"
Lavender's face suddenly seemed to widen in horror. At first, Hermione didn't understand why she, he, was panicking. Until Lavender tapped her pocket and she realised he was talking about his wand.
Hermione hadn't thought of that.
"Take it out." she said quietly. "No one will notice."
Theo obeyed and took out his wand, the handle of which he cleverly concealed with his oversized robes.
"On your mark, get set... Go!"
Spells burst from everywhere, illuminating the walls of the Room of Requirement and shaking the huge chandelier above their heads. Hermione and Theo nodded, and without needing to speak, Hermione attacked and Theo shielded at the same time.
Hermione's spell collided with Theo's shield in an explosion of blinding white light, and Hermione recoiled in surprise.
"Petrificus Totalus!" she cried.
"Protego!" Theo started in his distorted, squeaky voice.
The second shield was even faster than the first, almost instantaneous, and so powerful that it blinded Hermione.
"Stupefix!" Theo retorted.
"Protego!"
The two spells exploded against each other and a few sparks sent the students beside them jumping back. Hermione wasn't distracted, though. She attacked immediately after, trying to catch him off guard:
"Rictusempra!"
"Protego!"
This time, Theo's shield was so imposing that Hermione's spell bounced off it. She barely had time to dodge it before it crashed into the wall behind her, knocking a few books off the shelves.
Hermione could no longer see anything of the Room of Requirement. All her attention was now focused on the duel. She couldn't see Lavender, only Theo. She recognised his facial expressions, the same contractions of concentration he had in the Library when he studied a difficult chapter, or in Potions class when he tried to finish the mixture before she did.
He waved his wand and it projected a beam of orange light that crashed into Hermione's shield. Her shoes slid across the floor to avoid another Stupefix, and she countered with the same spell, which grazed the top of Lavender's blonde hair without hitting its target.
"Protego!"
"Expelliarmus!"
Hermione had never experienced anything like it. This adrenaline. She and Theo were on exactly the same level, the same abilities. She felt like she was fighting herself, that he could guess her next spell without her even formulating it in her mind. It was dazzling. She threw a shield as Theo opened his mouth, then launched an Expelliarmus, which he easily dodged. The frustration of not being able to touch him, and the excitement of the duel being so tight, created an electric mix in her body. Magic tingled at her fingertips.
"Locomotor Wibbly!"
"Protego!" Hermione gasped at the last second. A transparent screen materialised in front of her, just in time. She felt the breath of Theo's spell lift her hair.
Hermione was about to send a powerful Ebublio, but Theo suddenly looked around in surprise and lowered his wand. Hermione followed his gaze, her wand still in front of her, and saw that half the room had stopped practicing to watch them, all wearing expressions ranging from shock to wonder. Hermione felt her insides tighten and the magic that had been shaking her wand suddenly vanished.
"Merlin, what a duel!" gasped Fred in admiration.
There was a general murmur of approval in the room. Even Harry looked at them with his mouth open in surprise. Hermione and "Lavender" exchanged an embarrassed look.
If they were trying to be discreet, they'd failed.
"Come on, back to your positions, everyone!" shouted Harry, drawing the attention of the other students back to him, which allowed Hermione to relax her shoulders. "Mione, Lavender, move on to the Four-Points Spell and the Impediment, you've clearly perfected your shields enough."
Hermione and "Lavender" stood in a corner for the rest of the session, out of sight. Hermione didn't want her fake roommate's performance to stick in their minds, and for them all to talk about it the next day. She tested the Impediment Jinx on Theo several times, and he managed to counter it each time, but with a little less determination than he had earlier.
When only five minutes remained before the end of the Polyjuice Potion, "Lavender" excused herself to go to the toilet. At the end of the meeting, everyone gathered in front of Harry.
"Where's Lavender?" he asked, looking at the group in front of him.
"She's gone to bed." Hermione said. "She thinks she's caught Parvati's cold."
"I hope she feels better tomorrow." he replied simply. "Well, very good, everyone, very good work. You're really getting better every week. We've only got one more session before the Christmas break..." (The students all gave a small sigh of disappointment) "But I'm planning something fun for the last one. Don't forget to go in small groups, and good night everyone!"
"Good night, Harry!" several people shouted in unison.
Everyone left in small groups of two or three. Fred and George led the younger group out and Ginny went with Michael. Harry, Ron and Hermione were the last to leave. Hermione carefully put away the books that had fallen off the shelf during her duel with Theo.
"Go on, I'll join you." she said to the boys waiting for her.
They hurried off, eager to get back to their beds after a long day. Harry handed her the Marauder's Map so Filch wouldn't catch her, and it wasn't long before she found the footprints of "Theodore Nott Jr" in the bathroom on the same floor.
She waited until Harry and Ron's dots had reached the middle of the stairs before making her exit, then put the map away and quietly entered the bathroom. Theo had regained his appearance and was putting his green jumper back on when he saw her:
"Fuck, Hermione, it was incredible!" he cried, still with the distorted voice that now contrasted with his physique. "It was insane, it was... it was..."
"Magical?" she offered with a broad smile.
"Yes, exactly, magical!" exclaimed Theo. "Merlin, I can't believe it, the duel! You were unstoppable!"
"Me, are you kidding?!" exclaimed Hermione with equal enthusiasm. "Did you see the shield you cast? I almost took my own spell in the face!"
"That's because you threw it with so much force that it bounced back!" exclaimed Theo, completely overexcited. "Merlin, I've never seen that before!"
"Me neither!" Hermione confessed.
She was glad to see that the excitement of the duel was shared. She'd never felt like this before; as if she'd been fighting with herself.
"Will you give me my voice back, though?" he asked, pointing to his neck. "Not that I don't appreciate that sweet melody that comes out of my mouth with every sentence, but I feel like it makes me sound a little less manly than usual."
Hermione chuckled. She pointed her wand at his throat and Theo lifted his chin to give her plenty of room:
"Finite Incantatem."
"Thank you. Fuck, what an evening! I can't believe I managed to cast Protego so quickly!"
"And nobody noticed the trick." Hermione said. "With any luck, everyone will have forgotten you were there tonight."
Theo smiled, the kind that makes a dimple in his cheek:
"Are you kidding? From now on, everyone will remember the memorable duel between Lavender Brown and Hermione Granger. We're Hogwarts legends."
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.
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The next morning, Hermione realised that the adrenaline she'd felt the day before had succeeded in making her forget Draco. She hadn't thought about him for a single second for an entire evening, and that break had done her a world of good. She'd spent so much time thinking about him, worrying about him, being angry about him, that taking him out of her mind for a few hours had managed to calm her down without her even realising it.
She thought about it in bed, then all the way to the Great Hall. She met Ginny for breakfast and had her usual morning coffee, studying the tables in front of her. Draco wasn't there yet, but Theo was sitting in his place, next to Zabini. When he winked at her, she stifled a giggle.
"You were on fire yesterday." Ginny commented with a smile. "Who would have thought Lavender Brown would be a tough opponent?"
Hermione feigned indifference as she poured herself a bowl of porridge:
"I don't think Lavender contributed much. I did all the work, I had... energy to expend."
Ginny immediately understood her insinuation and subtly turned to the Slytherin table to look around.
"Still no news then?" she asked, returning to her cereal.
Hermione shook her head. There had been the little note in Hogsmeade, but she didn't really count that as "news". More like a slip in his own promise not to speak to her again. A moment of weakness. She was sure he regretted writing to her.
"No, nothing."
"So the jealousy didn't work?"
Hermione smiled a little.
"Actually... I think it did."
Ginny put down the bowl she'd just raised to her mouth and leaned forward, her eyes twinkling with the eagerness they always did when she was about to hear some particularly juicy gossip.
"Oh, really? So you've found a boy?" she whispered.
Hermione nodded proudly.
"Who?"
"Theodore Nott."
Hermione could see that Ginny wasn't expecting the name at all. She watched as her eyes widened in surprise and her hands fell back against the table in astonishment, sending her spoon a metre away. Ginny paid no attention, far too scandalised to do so.
"Theodo... The Slytherin, Theodore Nott?" she repeated. "Malfoy's best friend, Theodore Nott?!"
"Shhh!" Hermione hinted, although no one around them was close enough to hear what she was saying.
"Merlin, Hermione, you really are..." said Ginny, a certain pride in her voice. "Sometimes you're really... Sensational. You know that?"
"Sometimes I am." Hermione said with a smile.
"Poor Malfoy, he doesn't know what he's got himself into." Ginny said, now amused. "He's clearly underestimated the great Hermione Granger. His best friend, Merlin, Hermione you are... Brilliant. Simply brilliant."
"Hey, you're the one who came up with that ruse!" the brunette reminded her.
"Yes, but I didn't think you'd use it so well!" retorted Ginny. "Merlin, Theodore Nott... Have you been flirting with him?"
Hermione almost spat out her mouthful of porridge.
"No, no, I didn't! We just became friends."
"And that was enough to make Malfoy jealous?" the redhead asked in surprise.
Hermione laughed slightly:
"Oh yes, believe me."
Ginny turned to look at the Slytherin table again. Theo was now reading a book, holding it in one hand so he could eat with the other.
"Hermione Granger, the Slytherin friend." Ginny said tauntingly. "Who would have thought?"
"Hm..." Hermione said, looking at the boy in turn. "He's not... He's not a Slytherin-Malfoy. He's more like… a Ravenclaw-Slytherin."
"He looks like you." Ginny blurted out, and Hermione shifted her gaze from Theo to her best friend in surprise. "I've always seen a resemblance between the two of you. Even physically, sometimes. Like siblings."
"Ginny, you've never spoken to him in your life." she replied, surprised at the echo of her words with those Draco had said so often. "He's tall, he's got blue eyes and he's a Pureblood. Nothing to do with me."
"I'm just saying there's a resemblance, that's all." Ginny concluded, picking up another spoon to dip into her bowl of cereal.
"A resemblance to who?" asked Ron, who had just arrived at the table. Harry yawned behind him.
"Merlin Ronald, don't tell me you're still in your pajamas?!" yelped Ginny in horror.
"Why, is that a problem for you? It's Sunday." Ron replied, pouring himself a large glass of pumpkin juice. "Sundays, we stay in our pajamas. End of story. Especially when you've spent the whole day before doing your bloody Potions essay."
Hermione resisted the urge to let out a deep, exasperated sigh. To hear him talk, you'd think he'd achieved something if this had been Hermione's daily routine for the last five years.
"So? A resemblance to who?" asked Ron.
Hermione continued to eat her porridge, expecting Ginny to lie to change the subject.
"Between Hermione and Theodore Nott." Ginny said in a calm voice. Hermione nudged her shin, but Ginny ignored her completely. "They do look a bit alike, don't you think?"
Ron wrinkled his nose, as he always did when he missed something:
"Who's that?"
"Ron, I've told you ten times who it is." Hermione grumbled.
"The Slytherin who can see Thestrals." Harry said, and Hermione was surprised that he'd listened to the conversation, so sleepy did he seem. "Second in the overall rankings. Is that right, Mione?"
"Yes, that's right." she replied. "Ginny says we look alike."
Ron turned completely on the bench to look shamelessly at the green and silver table.
"Which one's Nott?" he asked, squinting.
"The one next to Blaise Zabini, opposite Pansy Parkinson." Ginny said without turning.
"What, him?" exclaimed Ron in disgust. "He doesn't look like Mione at all, he's all scrawny, he looks like a skeleton!"
"Nonsense." Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "You're just saying that because he's in Slytherin."
"Well, yeah." Ron replied as if it were obvious. "He's creepy, just like his House."
Hermione felt the injustice of his words rush to her head and she clutched her spoon to her palm.
"Well, think again, because he's very kind." she denied dryly. "And intelligent. I've studied with him a few times in the Library and we get on very well."
She saw the colours in Ron's tired face melt away in an instant. It turned tomato red in the blink of an eye.
"You studied with him?" he repeated, confused. "The Slytherin?"
"Yes." Hermione replied, full of defiance. Without knowing why, she felt an uncontrollable urge to defend Theo. Even more so than Draco, because unlike him, Theodore had never done anything wrong.
"But... Why?" stammered Ron, so stunned that the piece of egg on his spoon crashed into his plate without him noticing.
"Because he asked me, and I said yes." Hermione said with dignity. "He's extremely cultured, and I realised he could bring a lot of knowledge to me that I didn't have..."
"...but he's a Slytherin!" Ron objected childishly.
She gave him a glare that pinned him to his bench.
"So what? Do I look like the type to judge someone for that? To stoop to the stupid, sectarian separation of House differences? Have you ever seen Theodore do anything wrong, with your own eyes, or do you only see him through your stereotypical prism?"
She finished her sentence with an irritated click of her tongue, and Ron looked as if he'd rather disappear under the bench than answer her. He finally did, in a small, choked voice:
"No, I suppose... I guess I've never seen him do anything wrong, but..."
"You didn't even know who he was five minutes ago." observed Ginny, who seemed to take great pleasure in seeing her brother beaten like that.
"No, I didn't, but I just thought..." muttered Ron. "He's friends with Malfoy, isn't he? He's bound to share his Pureblood ideas?"
"Ron, we are Purebloods." Ginny pointed out coldly.
This ended the conversation abruptly. Ron continued to wrinkle his nose for the rest of breakfast, apparently already too worked up for such an early hour, and Harry ate his toast, gazing dreamily at the decorated tiles of the Great Hall.
The only interruption to the silence between them was the appearance of Lavender. The real Lavender. When she saw her, Hermione unintentionally stiffened, as if only now realizing what she had done the day before.
Lavender was a mess. Her nose was still all red and irritated, her eyes were puffy, and her complexion far more sallow than usual. She poured herself a cup of tea as she stood, probably eager to get back to bed quickly. Hermione avoided her gaze and suddenly found deep interest in her bowl of porridge.
"Oh, hey Lavender." greeted Harry amiably.
Hermione stopped her spoon halfway between her bowl and her mouth, breathless. Harry never spoke with Lavender. Why was he talking to her now?
"Still with that cold, huh?" he continued. "I hope you get well soon."
Lavender seemed surprised by his attention.
"Oh, uh, thanks Harry."
Hermione held her breath, but Lavender headed back to the door where Parvati was waiting for her, all trembling.
Hermione waited until Ron's head was down before winking at Theo.
.
.
Hermione had developed the extremely annoying habit of losing her concentration whenever she was working in the Library. When Draco wasn't with her, it was as if her thoughts crumbled, disintegrating before she could analyse them properly. She could no longer read a whole page without her mind wandering, away from studies, away from essays, away from the O. .
She thought of the way he rolled his rings over his fingers when he concentrated, like a tic. She thought of his eyes, mesmerising, captivating, the ones she'd lost herself in so many times before and hadn't really seen for two long weeks.
Hermione tried to pull herself together, to get back to her studies and get Draco Malfoy out of her mind, but it was all in vain. It was as if when he'd left her table in the Library, he'd taken a small part of her with him. A bit of her personality, her studiousness. She wasn't really Hermione Granger anymore, because Draco Malfoy was gone, and she felt hollow.
No matter how much she tried to retaliate, to make him react, to make plans to make him jealous, to gloat when she saw the anger in his eyes, the truth remained the same.
Draco wasn't coming back.
And Hermione hadn't realised it until two weeks after their argument in the empty classroom. Somehow she'd never believed his words. She'd never believed that he really meant them, that she could be in love with Ron when it was so obvious that she only loved him. Him, him, him. Ever since he'd sat down at that secluded table for the first time, ever since she'd looked up his name in her Astronomy books and watched him in the Great Hall, she hadn't thought about Ron. Not really. How could she fall in love with Ron, when the fall for Draco had been so dizzying?
It couldn't end like this. Hermione wouldn't let it. She knew Draco was scared, she even understood why, but this was no reason. Such a strong understanding, such a powerful love, couldn't end so abruptly without a good explanation. He'd rather deny her feelings than acknowledge them. He'd rather see her fall in love with someone else. It was selfish. Selfish Draco Malfoy, always doing what he wanted, no matter how she felt.
Hermione tried to accept it, to move on, but it was impossible. Draco had infiltrated her, slowly but surely, clinging to every particle that made up her body, her head, her heart. She woke up in the morning thinking of him and went to sleep at night thinking of him. Her heart clenched when he was near and ached when he was far away. He was obnoxious, imperfect, sometimes mean, but she loved him. And often, that was all that mattered.
And as the days passed, he drifted away from her, little by little, and his absence left a mark on Hermione, like a wound that grew larger every time he didn't come to the Library, or to the bench where she spent hours staring up at the starry sky, her jam jar burning against her belly, her hair tossed by the winter wind.
Hermione could have let herself go, given in to the suffering that awaited her when she realised that he might not come back. That maybe it was all over, really. They'd always talked again, one way or another, they'd always managed to get back together, to put their fears aside, to ignore the guilt, but maybe this time he really wanted to? To walk away? Never speak to her again?
Hermione might have given in to the nagging fear that kept her awake at night and distracted her during the day, had Theodore Nott not been there.
Without knowing it, he had managed to bring her to the surface. His stubbornness to work, to be better, the constant competition that united them, was what made Hermione get up every morning in December. It was he who managed to restore her composure and motivation to work. He managed to block out everything around them, not just Draco, but also the tension that had reigned in the Castle since Umbridge's arrival, the suffering Harry felt, the pressure of the war outside that weighed on their shoulders every day.
The presence of Theo at her side was like medicine. Their studies together were nothing like the ones Hermione shared with Draco. There were no sidelong glances, no heavy sentences, no vibrations in Hermione's body when he spoke. There was no Letter to Elise, or cinnamon tea, or sheet music, or little words scribbled on scraps of parchment, there was just Theo and Hermione, studying relentlessly, trying to outdo each other without ever saying so out loud.
She helped him with Arithmancy, he helped her with the abstract Transfiguration formulae she found difficult to understand. He made her recite the dates of the Giant Wars, and she showed him how to change the colour of a feather. He told her the legends of Salem, she told him about the Renaissance paintings she loved.
Hermione had been friends with Harry and Ron since she was eleven, because they shared the same sense of justice, the same bravery, the same sense of belonging to the same family, in blood as in the Castle. She was friends with Ginny because they trusted each other; Hermione could tell her all her secrets and listen to hers. She was friends with Danny because she'd grown up with him, they shared memories and he was her ray of sunshine in a world she no longer recognised.
She was friends with Draco because they were different, and that was what attracted her. The fact that they rarely agreed, that all their conversations were enriching and that she had become addicted to his unpredictability.
She remembered every beginning of these friendships perfectly, could even quote every sentence they'd exchanged the first time. She couldn't do that for Theo. It was as if they'd known each other forever. They thought alike. Their minds were connected by an indescribable bond, rocketing with the same ideas at the same time. They had the same humour, the same aspirations, the same values. Yet they had grown up in two relatively opposite worlds: he among wizarding supremacists, she among Muggles.
But they understood each other, in a way so powerful that Hermione felt magic must have been involved. It wasn't normal to merge so much with someone you barely knew.
So, it was thanks to Theodore Nott that Hermione managed to keep her head up that December. When she felt Draco's persistent glances at her whenever she was in his company, she pretended not to notice and continued to study, over and over again, in this new Library bubble that she was enjoying against all odds.
"There's another meeting tomorrow." Hermione announced in a low voice, three days before the Christmas break.
Theo looked up from his parchment and took several seconds to realise what she meant.
"Oh." he said after a moment. "Well, I guess I won't be going. I ran into Lavender this morning, she was humming in the corridors. No more cold."
Hermione could see the disappointment written all over his face as he said this. He added with a fake laugh:
"Besides, I have to admit that meeting the girl I used to be for an hour was a rather disconcerting experience."
He plunged back into his essay. Hermione bit her lower lip, then slowly offered:
"Actually... I thought we could... not tell her."
Theo lifted his head, his eyebrows furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"I could... not give her the information about tomorrow's meeting." she explained in a whisper. "So you can take her place again."
Strangely, Theo didn't seem shocked by her suggestion. Hermione wondered if he hadn't already thought of it without daring to tell her.
"And she won't notice she missed a session?" he asked.
Hermione shrugged:
"With the break, everyone will have forgotten by the time school starts. Besides, Lavender doesn't really talk to the others, she mostly stays with Parvati and Seamus, and none of the three will be here tomorrow."
Theo gave an excited smile that he could no longer hide.
"Well, let's hope we're as lucky as last time. Besides, Har- Potter, said he had a surprise planned for next time. Do you know what it is?"
Hermione shook her head, realising at that moment that her best friend hadn't told her what he had planned for them.
"I have to admit, it did arouse my curiosity." Theo said. "And besides... Snape has prepared three new cauldrons of Polyjuice Potion..."
Hermione smiled and they each returned to their homework, mentally planning their secret plan for the next day.
At dinner time, Hermione stood up and said cheerfully to Theo:
"See you tomorrow night then."
"Can't wait!" he replied with the same enthusiasm as the first time.
Hermione walked away from the table, wondering what Harry had prepared for the next day, unaware that Draco, hidden by the Magical Flowers and Plants shelf, had just heard their goodbyes.
.
.
The plan went as smoothly as the first time. With their two sharp minds combined, Theo and Hermione had thought of everything. Hermione had found the two pieces of fake Galleons that Lavender and Parvati had placed on their bedside tables and erased the date with a wave of her wand. Theo stole one of Snape's highly secure bottles of Polyjuice Potion, taking only a small portion to pour into his cauldron. Hermione found a hair on one of Lavender's shirts rolled into a ball in the bathroom, and Theo took charge of finding a Gryffindor dress. They even cast a more or less successful spell on Theo's wand to make it the same colour as Lavender's: fuschia pink.
Theo drank the potion at the last second, hiding behind the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy just opposite the Room of Requirement and entering after Hermione, so as not to arouse suspicion of their sudden rapprochement.
Fortunately, the vast majority of the students hadn't turned up due to the chill that seemed to have infected everyone in the Castle, probably due to the bitter cold outside. Parvati's absence therefore went completely unnoticed, and "Lavender" remained in a corner of the room throughout Harry's presentation.
"I thought I'd do a special session today." he explained once everyone had moved closer to him. "I thought we could all practice making a Patronus before Christmas."
Several students exclaimed in delight at this, which made Harry smile.
"What if we fail?" asked Neville nervously, holding his wand as if it would prick his hand.
"That's all right." Harry said hastily. "I haven't been able to make one for months, it's a very difficult magic. I don't expect anyone to be able to do it today. Except maybe Hermione, of course."
She felt her cheeks flush as the curious looks of the students fell on her.
"Could you make one, Harry?" Lee asked eagerly. "So we can see what it looks like up close?"
Harry, who wasn't too keen on public displays of talent, hesitated for a moment.
"Come on, Harry!" insisted Cho. "Show us!"
Hermione wasn't surprised to see him draw his wand at this request. Ginny pouted discreetly.
"Well, okay." he said, looking everywhere but in Cho's direction. "So... To make a Patronus, you have to think of a happy memory. But not just any happy memory, one that brings you incomparable joy. It can be anything, as long as it represents a moment when you felt the greatest happiness in your life. Your Patronus will take the form of your totem animal, and should represent hope, the destruction of unhappiness. That's why it's an extremely powerful magic, because it takes your most vital energy to fight evil.
Hermione had read a lot about Patronus magic. Some said the animal represented the one we could be reborn as in the next life, others said it was our most faithful protector. In any case, all the books agreed on the power and beauty of this magic. Hermione could feel her fingers twitching with anticipation at the thought of trying it.
Harry closed his eyes for a moment, then a wistful smile played on his lips for a second before he opened them again to speak clearly:
"Expecto Patronum !"
His wand vibrated in his hand, releasing a silvery, almost cloudy trickle that curled around itself until it formed a towering, majestic stag. It bowed to Harry, its antlers brushing the floor of the Room of Requirement, before turning and charging straight ahead. All the students jumped out of the way with astonished "wow!" When it ran in front of Hermione, she felt a gentle warmth spread over her skin. Then the deer disappeared in a "poof!" of white smoke.
Everyone was stunned by the sight, but by far the most surprised of all was Lavender. Theo obviously couldn't contain his admiration for Harry.
"So... That's it, a Patronus." Harry said awkwardly, embarrassed by all the attention. "It's obviously an individual practice. Think of your memory first, then say the formula, imagining that a threat is approaching you and you need protection."
It was better for Theo and Hermione to be on their own, because a second time together might have looked suspicious. However, Hermione stayed close enough to him, just in case, and thought about which memory she could use.
She thought of the time her mother had organised a surprise for her eighth birthday, inviting all her friends while she was at the theatre with her father. The joy she'd felt at that moment had been overwhelming, sudden. She tried to capture it by casting the spell, but only a few silvery threads came out of her wand before they vanished into thin air.
Seeing that this memory wasn't working, Hermione instead thought back to the moment McGonagall had come to her doorstep to tell her that she was a witch. She tried to remember the whirlwind of emotions she'd felt at the moment she'd appeared: fear, but also trepidation to find out more, joy at having a place in this magical world she didn't know, but had been waiting for all her childhood without knowing it. Her magic was a little more reactive, but the filaments always evaporated before they were completely out of her wand.
Hermione glanced around to check on the others' progress. Neville's face had tightened with effort and he was gripping the handle of his wand so tightly that his knuckles were white. Ron had closed his eyes, and Hermione thought she heard him repeat "Gryffindor goal" several times in one breath. Fred and George were chatting in low voices, surely remembering a common memory they could use.
Lavender, Theo, was the one who came closest to succeeding. Hermione didn't know if he couldn't quite do it, or if he was holding back to avoid being noticed. If Lavender managed to produce a corporeal Patronus in less than ten minutes, it would surely be the biggest scoop of the year.
Hermione tried to waltz between several happy memories of her childhood without managing to produce an identifiable Patronus. Every time she cast the spell, she felt her heart skip a beat. The energy Harry talked about was there, vibrating beneath her skin, but she couldn't pull it hard enough. Perhaps the memories she was absorbing weren't intense enough.
Everyone was focused, listening intently to Harry's advice whenever he passed by. The only person who didn't seem to care was Marietta Edgecombe, Cho Chang's best friend. She rolled her wand over her palms to keep herself occupied.
Suddenly, just as Theo was about to pronounce the formula, Marietta approached him, her, with such a quick step that Hermione didn't have time to intervene.
"Hey, Lav'?" called Marietta, coming up beside the blonde.
It took Theo a moment to realise she was talking to him. He lifted his head and cast a panicked glance at Hermione, but Marietta shoved her palm under his nose and he had no choice but to listen:
"I feel like I've got one more hand line than yesterday." she said very seriously. "What do you think that means?"
Hermione saw the sentence register in Theo's brain without him understanding its meaning, and he visibly held back from letting it show on his face.
"Er... what do you mean?" he asked in his altered, fluent voice.
Marietta pushed a thick lock of curly hair away from her face to get a better look at her own palm:
"Well, you see, there? That line wasn't there yesterday, I'm sure. I know this is luck, and this is life, but what's this one?"
She brought her hand closer to Lavender's eyes, which were scanning the lines in question with a puzzled expression.
"Er... I don't think it can appear in the middle of the day, you know. Maybe you just didn't notice it before?" he offered.
Marietta furrowed her thick eyebrows.
"No, no, I'm sure the line appeared yesterday. What does it stand for again?"
Theo stammered:
"I... We haven't studied it yet, I think."
Marietta gave him a funny look, as if to gauge whether Lavender was joking or not.
"What do you mean, haven't studied it yet? We've been doing palms since third grade, Lav'!" she said with a laugh. "And besides, you know the whole manual inside out! Come on, tell me! Is it serious?" she added in a more worried tone.
"No, no, but... I think you should talk to Trelawney about it." Lavender said with a perfectly executed look of sympathy. "It could be important, and I don't want to frighten you, you know?"
"Oh, right..." said Marietta, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes fixed on her hand. "Yes, you're right, I'll talk to her about it... Thanks, Lav'..."
She stepped back and showed Cho her hand. Her face wore such a grave expression that it looked as if she might die at any moment. Lavender pretended to look for something on the floor so she could subtly approach Hermione and whisper:
"Are you kidding? I like Divination?"
"Yes." Hermione replied, half panicked, half amused. "Sorry, I forgot to mention that detail."
Theo groaned through his teeth and Harry ended the session.
"Very good, you've made a lot of progress!" he congratulated the students scattered around the room. "I'll see you all in January. In the meantime, I wish you all a very merry Christmas, as far away from Umbridge as possible."
The students wished each other goodnight and left in small groups, as usual. Theo still had ten minutes of Polyjuice Potion left, so he, Ron and Hermione helped Harry tidy up the room a little. Hermione had been so focused on Theo's presence that she hadn't even noticed that the Room of Requirement had been decorated for Christmas, with mistletoe hanging from the ceiling and socks with their names embroidered all along the huge fireplace.
Hermione glanced behind her to see if anyone was still there and heard Cho whisper to Marietta: "No, no, you go on, I'll catch up with you later..."
Then, Cho turned hopefully to Harry.
"Oh. Let's go." Hermione ordered immediately, understanding the Ravenclaw's intentions.
"Huh, where?" asked Ron.
"Back to the Common Room." Hermione explained in such an authoritative tone that Ron jumped a little. "Come on, come on!"
She slipped her arm under Ron's elbow to pull him towards the exit. Theo was behind her. Hermione saw him turn his head several times in the direction of Harry and Cho, who were slowly moving towards each other.
"Ronald, hurry up!"
The door opened and she pushed Ron out of the Room of Requirement.
"Ouch!" he said. "What's wrong with you?!"
"Don't you see anything?" asked Hermione with an exasperated sigh. "Cho wanted to talk to Harry!"
"Well, she could have done that earlier!" grumbled Ron. "She had the whole meeting to do it!"
Hermione had to bite her tongue to keep from sighing again.
"Ron... She wanted to speak to him alone." she explained.
She watched as Ron's face went from incomprehension to realisation and he looked at the place where the door had been a few seconds ago with his mouth open in astonishment:
"What? You mean they're going to..."
He brought both hands together with a sucking sound, but Hermione slapped his wrist sternly:
"Maybe, yes, that's why I got you out, so you wouldn't get in their way! Harry's been in love with her for months, it was about time they got closer..."
Hearing this, Ron's ears took on a dark red colour.
"Really?" he stammered. "You think... oh... I... Merlin." he finished, obviously in the middle of an internal debate that Hermione couldn't hear. "Well, let's not wait for him then, he might want to walk her back to Ravenclaw... Are you coming?"
Hermione turned her head to see Lavender waiting for her at the end of the corridor.
"Er, no." Hermione replied.
Ron looked lost.
"What?"
"I... I told Lavender I'd accompany her to the bathroom." Hermione said in a tone that meant to be firm, but turned out to be as hesitant as her lie. "It's, er... it's a girl thing, you know?"
Ron couldn't, but he nodded anyway. When he turned to go back to the Common Room, Hermione heard him mutter something about girls, and when he was far enough away, she turned on her heels and joined Theo. They entered the bathroom and he took off his Gryffindor robes.
"Why did you leave so quickly?" asked Theo as soon as the door had closed and Hermione had made sure that no one was using any of the toilets, especially Moaning Myrtle, who had a knack of showing up where she wasn't supposed to.
Hermione turned to see the effects of Theo's potion fading, his hair taking on a darker shade of blonde and curling as the seconds passed.
"Hmm?" Hermione asked distractedly.
"You were in such a hurry to leave, I thought I was beginning to regain my appearance." Theo said.
"Oh no, not at all, I just wanted to leave Harry alone."
Lavender lost the roundness of her lips and her eyes brightened from dark blue to a deeper sky blue.
"Why?" asked Theo, furrowing his blonde eyebrows.
"Oh, uh... To leave him alone with Cho."
He opened his now almond-shaped eyes wide:
"Oh! Potter and Chang?"
"Er, yes." Hermione said, not really understanding why this was so surprising. "It's all new."
"Oh..."
Theo lost himself in thought as the effects of the potion completely wore off. He still held the Gryffindor robes in his hands.
"Could you please not repeat that?" asked Hermione with a nervous little smile. "I really don't want information about Harry's private life being repeated all the way to the Daily Prophet."
Hermione could easily imagine Parkinson shouting "Chang and Potter!" at the breakfast table the next day.
Theo shook his head, scandalised:
"Oh no, of course I won't say anything."
"Finite Incantatem." Hermione cast on Theo's throat, which seemed to wake him from his strange trance.
"Thank you. What a session, by the way!" he exclaimed, regaining his euphoria. "Potter was right, it really was too good a surprise! I've never seen a corporeal Patronus that close before, it's super impressive that he can do it so young."
Theo had said this without a hint of mockery, and Hermione realised that it was one of the first times she'd ever heard a Slytherin so openly praise his best friend's achievements. The thought warmed her heart.
"Actually, he's known how to make them since third year." she revealed in a slightly smug tone. "Lupin taught him so he could defend himself if a Dementor got too close. He's very sensitive to it."
She wasn't sure why she'd added that last bit of information; Theo was probably remembering the train episode the year before when he'd fainted. Draco and Parkinson had laughed at him for weeks. Theo swallowed and nodded:
"Yeah, I know." he said, his voice suddenly a little more strangled. "I... I don't like them very much either, to be honest. That's why I'm glad we worked on this tonight."
This confession surprised her. She remembered how Draco had pretended to faint as soon as he'd met Harry and wondered if he hadn't done it to distract Theo, who was likely suffering from the effects of the Dementors as much as he was. Hermione wanted to ask him questions, but didn't push. She knew it would be inappropriate curiosity, as Draco often reminded her.
Theo changed the colour of the Gryffindor robe to emerald green and put it back on.
"Thank you for inviting me tonight, Hermione." he said as they left the bathroom. "I know it can't be easy for you to plan all this and I'm grateful that you've gone to all this trouble just for me."
Hermione grinned and glanced at Theo's endearing blue eyes. So it wasn't a Slytherin thing to never say thank you.
"You're welcome. You deserve to train as much as anyone in this room, I'm sorry you have to transform to do it."
Theo grinned mischievously:
"You know what? I think I'm starting to like Lavender Brown."
"Even if she likes Divination?" asked Hermione.
"No comment. Good night, Hermione."
He waved and took the left-hand corridor back to the dungeons. Hermione realised the lateness of the hour when she saw the black sky through the windows. It was a full moon. She pulled her woollen jumper closer to her for warmth and took the right-hand corridor, quickening her pace so as not to run into Harry and Cho and ruin their moment.
The sound of her footsteps on the stone floor was the only sound around her. All the portraits were fast asleep in their frames. Hermione was just thinking that she should have asked Harry for the map to make sure Mrs Norris wasn't around when someone grabbed her forearm violently. Hermione barely had time to flinch as a large hand came over her mouth to cover her cry of surprise and she was abruptly pulled to the left.
Her heart was beating too fast, but Hermione wasn't afraid. Despite the dim light, she had no trouble recognising his hands. She could feel the silver ring on his index finger brushing her lower lip. The scent of mint filled her nostrils.
Hermione heard him open a door and enter the small room. He didn't throw her against the wall like she had when she had shouted at him two weeks ago, but Hermione could feel his anger in his grip on her arm. When he released her, they found themselves face to face in a confined space she didn't recognise. She reached for her wand to cast a Lumos, and as soon as the broom cupboard was lit, she saw his two grey, angry pupils fixed on her.
Hermione felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and her breath caught somewhere between her stomach and her throat.
"May I ask what the fuck you were doing with Theo, Granger?" asked Draco in an icy voice.
.
.
Draco
.
.
"May I ask what the fuck you were doing with Theo, Granger?" he asked, feeling the ripples of anger running down his skin.
If she blushed or showed the slightest sign that they'd exchanged more than a few polite phrases, Draco was going to drive his fist into the metal shelf beside him.
To Granger's credit, she managed to hide her surprise. Her chocolate eyes narrowed and she pointed her wand at him to enlighten him:
"Why do you care? I thought that's what you wanted!"
"That you'd have sex with my best friend in a toilet?" he replied sharply. "No, definitely not!"
His sentence made her hiccup in shock.
"Excuse me?!" Granger huffed indignantly. "I didn't have sex with Theo, my God! How can you believe that for a second?!"
In truth, he didn't believe it himself. He knew perfectly well that Granger wasn't the kind of girl who would fuck a boy in a toilet. But the laughter they'd shared was still too much in his head for him to recognise what he was saying.
"I don't know, maybe because I just saw you come out of the seventh floor bathroom laughing like idiots? Explain yourself, Granger!"
"No, I won't!" she protested angrily. "I don't need to justify myself, especially to you! You're the one who told me I had to fall in love with someone else, remember?"
The memory sickened him. He still struggled to realise that he'd said those words. He'd never thought it would hurt so much to hear them out of her mouth again. He clenched his fist and took several deep breaths:
"I never said anything about Theo." Draco said, not shouting, but loud enough for her to understand the anger he felt at that moment. "Never. You know very well how I feel when you're together."
"And you know very well how I feel when you give me orders." she snapped, her cheeks flushed, but Draco didn't know if it was embarrassment or anger. "I'm tired of you controlling everything, all the time. I'm not allowed to be in love with you, but I'm not allowed to be friends with Theodore, I'm not allowed to talk to you, but I have to pretend that everything is normal. Can you let me do the talking, or do you have to decide everything all the time?"
Draco felt his heartbeat drumming in his chest, and he knew it matched the one of the girl in front of him. The flaming girl, stirring in every direction to show her displeasure, and despite the jealousy that had been tearing through him for weeks, Draco found it hard to let go in anger. For the first time since the match against the Gryffindors, he felt alive.
"I told you, Granger." he hissed. "I'm doing this to protect you."
"And for the thousandth time, Malfoy, I don't need protection!" she replied in the same tone. "I know what I'm up against, I know the risks, I've been analysing them ever since you and I became friends! Stop thinking I can't defend myself, it's getting downright humiliating!"
"I have no doubt you'd be able to defend yourself." he said, and he meant it. He'd never questioned Granger's abilities, which were probably beyond his imagination. "But understand, Granger, my family..."
"I'm not afraid of your father." she cut in sharply. "I'm not afraid of anyone who thinks my blood is dirtier than yours."
And in that moment, Draco thought he'd never seen her so brave. Foolish, perhaps, but fucking brave. He himself had never dared to say those words out loud, still had nightmares of Lucius some nights and was terrified just to hear the sound of his voice.
"Bloody Gryffindors." he grumbled. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"And you have no idea what I'm capable of." Granger retorted fiercely. "I'm sick of you underestimating me, Draco."
The sound of his first name in her mouth made him half-smile in spite of himself. He felt like he hadn't heard it in months.
"I'm not underestimating you. I'm just afraid of losing you."
Those words were probably the most honest confession he'd ever said in his life. Because that was the essence of their disagreement. He was so in love with her that he couldn't risk her life to be with her.
She didn't realise how much he cared for her. Perhaps he hadn't told her enough. Maybe she didn't realise how far he would go for her. And that it certainly wouldn't be enough.
"You're losing what we have because you're afraid of what might happen in the future." she said, in a tone that made it clear she didn't approve of those words.
"I already know what's going to happen in the future, Granger." he replied with an exasperated sigh. "And how will you explain that a Muggle-born, Potter's best friend, the one who is supposed to save the wizarding world from the evil that is spreading by the day, wants to protect the son of the man who is spreading it?"
Granger's eyes widened and the hand holding her wand fell to her side.
"So that's what this is about?" she breathed out, stunned. "You don't want me to feel the need to help you when you will need it? You want me... you want me to hate you, hard enough to ignore you when the war breaks out?"
Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. When he'd walked into that broom closet, he'd expected an argument intense enough to soothe the burn she'd been giving him since hanging out with Theo, not an impromptu psychology lesson.
"I'm doing this so you don't have to make a choice." he finally explained in a voice devoid of emotion. "So that when the time comes, you won't have to choose between Potter and me. Or rather, so that you don't feel bad about choosing Potter's side. Because you'll always choose him."
Granger looked at him for several seconds without saying a word, as if seeing him for the first time. A flash of something crossed her face - understanding, pity, Draco would not have been able to tell, and it was rare not to be able to read Granger, it was frustrating.
After a long moment, Draco wondered if she wasn't going to leave without saying anything. Accept his plan. Ignore him, send him to the other side of the war.
But instead, she dropped her wand to the floor and walked towards him, so quickly that Draco barely had time to blink, and kissed him.
He felt her soft lips against his and froze.
He'd never thought she'd do that. Never in a million years. He could never have predicted it. But as soon as he felt her hands clinging desperately to his jumper, as if she wanted him to lose himself with her, to fall beside her into that great, frightening void, Draco responded to her kiss without thinking for a second. He forgot everything: Theo, his father, the war. All that mattered to him at that moment were Granger's lips, the warmth of her skin, her hands on his collar, the strawberry on her hair against his cheek.
Kissing Granger was the most liberating feeling Draco had ever experienced in his life.
He was no longer held back by the earth beneath his feet, by gravity, by reality. He was only held back by her. By her hands that held him as if she was afraid he'd escape, by the sounds she made unconsciously, those little hmm of contentment that made Draco's whole body vibrate. He lost all sense of time and place. He grabbed her hip to press her against him and his other hand lost itself in her curly hair, just as he had always dreamed of doing when he looked at her in class.
He thought he'd reached the height of ecstasy until she inhaled and whispered against his lips:
"Draco..."
He felt his arms tingle as he heard his first name whispered like that, husky and secret. It sent a searing wave through his body, like a tsunami crashing into him and swallowing him whole. He slid his hand from her hair to her jaw, feeling her heart pulsing against the thin skin beneath her ear. As he pulled his lips from hers to kiss her there, Granger asked softly:
"How can you say things like that and be so selfish? It's... it's incomprehensible."
The last word ended in a gasp, and Draco smiled as he felt her responding so well to his touch.
"How can you get so close to Theo right under my nose?" he asked, the anger of the request buried beneath the happiness of feeling her so close to him. "Invite him to a table in the Library just to taunt me?"
"I have a right to be friends with whomever I choose." Granger said in a stubborn tone, but she shivered as Draco reached the sensitive part of her jaw and he covered it with kisses.
"You knew this would drive me crazy." he whispered in her ear. "You did it on purpose to make me jealous."
"Yes, I did." she replied, more openly than he would have expected.
"So Slytherin of you." he commented with a wry smile.
"You told me I needed to fall in love with someone else." Granger replied.
"I meant Weasley." he said.
"I'm not in love with Ron." she replied matter-of-factly, her eyes closed. "I'm in love with you."
She put her hands to his hair and pulled, not too hard but enough to bring him closer. Draco kissed the corner of her mouth, ignoring his own heart beating wildly at the confession. Hearing it come out of Granger's mouth was still madness. He couldn't believe it was her speaking those words and not some Granger from his hallucinatory dreams.
"I'm furious with you." she whispered, but kissed him anyway, just for a second before pulling away. Her cheeks were red, her eyes defiant. "I'm furious with you. I spend half my time hating you. I shouldn't even... I shouldn't even be talking to you right now. You were obnoxious to Harry and Ron, I..."
He cut her off with a kiss and she sank into his arms, an attitude so at odds with her own words that he no longer knew what she was really thinking.
"I mean it, Draco." she said, her hand still on his hair. She tugged at it to pull him away from her mouth and he had to hold back from making a sound of protest. "I'm furious with you."
"You're always furious with me." he murmured.
"I'm always furious with you." she repeated. "And I spend all my time worrying about you like a fool, when you're the most insufferable boy I've ever met."
"But you're in love with me."
He hadn't planned to say it, but he desperately wanted her to repeat it, even if she was angry, even if it wasn't right. Her chocolate eyes pierced him, as if she could read his soul. Take it, he thought. It's already yours.
But she didn't say it again.
"It can work, Draco." she whispered instead, so low he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been so close to her lips. "We can do this, I'm sure of it. You just have to trust me."
And there, in that tiny broom closet, far from reality, Draco believed her. For a split second, he surrendered to the possibility of having Granger the way he wanted her: whole, all his. No more jealousy. No more guilt. No more holding back. He could tell her he loved her, he could shout it out in front of everyone, and she could whisper it in his ear, over and over again.
He made a sound without meaning to, like a plea, and Granger must have taken it as hesitation, because she continued:
"Why should we waste this? This could be the best thing that ever happened to us, why spoil it for something out of our control?"
He kissed her to shut her up. She tasted of cinnamon and hope.
"We can't, Hermione." he said, his voice hoarse.
But he kissed her again, and again, until her skin grew hot, until she gave him the fever that animated her all the time. When he pulled back to look at her, he could see the flame dancing in her eyes, the one he loved so much.
"Give us a chance, Draco." she whispered.
He didn't answer, but placed his lips on hers one last time. The gesture reminded him of their handshakes, their secret promises. As if he'd just sealed something.
"Granger..."
"I'm still furious with you." she said, frowning as if they were in the middle of an argument and not kissing.
"You're always furious with me." he replied.
Her mouth was swollen and red and Draco couldn't take his eyes off it.
"I'm always furious with you." Granger repeated.
She rose to her tiptoes and pressed her forehead against Draco's. The contact made him shiver, even though they'd just shared a much more intimate moment. Somehow, it made Draco feel even closer to her, their breaths mingling as if they were sharing a secret.
"I can't be the only one who wants it, Draco." she murmured softly after a few seconds. "You have to want it too. You have to believe it. You have to apologise, you have to come back to me, you have to fix your mistake, make this work. Us. Please." she added in one breath.
He nodded. He knew she was right. He couldn't walk away from her. Now that he knew what it felt like, the peace of the Library with her as well as the passion of their kisses, Draco knew he was incapable of breaking away. Not completely. And his will weakened as she spoke. Why waste it while they still had it? Why not enjoy it a little longer, selfishly, until the war caught up with them and tore them apart?
Granger gently stepped back from his arms and he let her. Draco had entered the cupboard with anger roaring inside him, eager to take it out on her after seeing her with Theo. Now, for the first time in weeks, he felt good. Whole.
Granger picked up her lit wand from the floor and gave him a final look.
"Sleep well." she said finally, then opened the door and disappeared into the night.
Draco stayed there for a long time, in the same position, lost in the darkness.
.
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Hermione
.
.
When Hermione returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, she was surprised to find that barely a quarter of an hour had passed since she'd left Ron. She found him in front of the fireplace, sprawled out on the carpet, finishing an essay and rubbing his eyelids in exhaustion. Harry hadn't returned yet.
"Hey. Where's Lavender?" he asked when he saw the board close behind her.
"She's back already." Hermione said, feigning surprise. "Didn't you see her go by?"
Ron frowned:
"No..."
He returned to his half finished attempt at Transfiguration and Hermione sat down on the sofa behind him. She'd been panting since her kiss with Draco. She could feel her magic pulsing at her fingertips and she put her wand away so as not to send a spell accidentally.
She tried to calm herself, enjoying the warmth of the fireplace flames on her skin, but she could still feel him. She could feel his lips on her neck and the mint on her clothes. She could hear his whisper in her ear and his hands on her cheeks.
Hermione put her hands on her knees and took several deep breaths.
"Is everything all right?" asked Ron, hearing her heavy breathing without looking up from his parchment.
"Yes, yes, the stairs..." she muttered by way of explanation.
Ron nodded, although there was only one staircase connecting the Room of Requirement with the Gryffindor Common Room.
Hermione needed to think about something else, so she took out a parchment and quill and answered the letter Krum had sent her a few weeks ago. She answered his questions about Hogwarts and described the strange atmosphere the Castle had been in since Umbridge had set foot there. A distraction. It almost worked, until a flashback crossed her eyelids and she found herself back in that broom cupboard. She was furious at him. So furious, and yet she wanted to go back and kiss him.
Silly girl.
In five minutes, Hermione had written half of the parchment and her hand continued to fly over the paper without stopping. Suddenly the board swung round and Harry entered the Common Room. Hermione looked up from her letter and immediately noticed the dishevelled hair at the back of his head and the red marks on his cheeks.
"What kept you?" asked Ron, the master of tact himself. Hermione was tempted to kick him in the calf for his insensitivity, but Harry was sitting in the armchair next to her, so she held back.
When he didn't answer, Hermione risked a glance at him. His mouth was open in an expression of shock.
"Are you all right, Harry?" she asked.
He shrugged vaguely, too overwhelmed to speak.
"What is it?" asked Ron, pulling himself up on one elbow to watch him. "What happened?"
Judging by his expression, Ron was obviously torn between concern and amusement. When Harry still said nothing, Hermione pressed him a little:
"Is it about Cho?" Hearing her first name, Harry's head snapped to the side. "She cornered you after the meeting, didn't she?"
He nodded with a dazed look. Ron chuckled, but Hermione cut him off with a glare.
"And, er... what did she want?" she asked innocently, still writing her letter so as not to rush Harry.
"She..." Harry struggled to clear his throat. "She, er..."
"Did you kiss?" she asked.
Ron sat down greedily, spilling his inkpot all over the carpet.
"Well?" he asked in an urgent voice.
Harry nodded slowly in reply.
"AH!" Ron shouted with a burst of laughter.
He rolled around on the carpet, laughing, illuminated by the orange flames in front of him, accentuating the redness of his hair. Harry grinned and finally relaxed his posture, which had been tense since entering the Room. Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's childish reaction and continued her sentence about Umbridge's lack of respect for the school curriculum.
"So?" asked Ron, turning back to Harry. "How was it?"
"Wet." Harry replied with a slight grimace.
Ron made a squeaky sound.
"Because she was crying." Harry explained dejectedly.
"Oh." Ron said stupidly. "Are you that bad at kissing?"
"Dunno... Maybe I am..."
"Of course not." said Hermione absently.
"How do you know?" asked Ron, any trace of amusement gone from his voice.
"Simply because Cho spends half her time crying these days." she replied, blaming her two best friends' lack of attention for the umpteenth time. "She cries during meals, in the bathroom, all over the Castle."
"A good kiss would have cheered her up." Ron commented with a chuckle.
"Ron." Hermione said with a very dignified air, dipping the tip of her quill into her inkwell. "You're the most insensitive boy I've ever met."
"What's that supposed to mean?" huffed Ron. "Do you know anyone who cries when you kiss them?"
"Yeah!" Harry added in a desperate tone. "Who does?"
Hermione had a flashback of Draco's lips against hers. "We can't, Hermione." She could taste the mint on her tongue.
She focused on the two boys in front of her, waiting impatiently for an answer, and felt a little pity as she saw their despair.
"You really don't understand what Cho is going through right now?" she asked.
"No." they replied in the same voice.
Hermione sighed and put down her quill.
"Well, obviously she's very upset about Cedric's death. Also, I think she's confused because she loved Cedric and now she loves Harry without being able to find out who she loves more. Then, she feels guilty because she thinks it's an insult to Cedric's memory to kiss Harry, and she wonders what others will think of her if she starts going out with him. Also, she probably can't define her feelings for Harry because he was with Cedric when he died, so it's all very confusing and painful. Oh, I should add that she's afraid of being kicked off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's flying so badly at the moment, she's stressed about the O.W.L., and Umbridge has threatened to sack her mother at the Ministry."
A stunned silence greeted her speech.
"It's impossible to feel all that without exploding." Ron said finally.
"That's because you have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon." Hermione replied coldly.
They exchanged a look and Hermione and Ron burst out laughing at the same time. Harry joined them and all the pressure of the last few minutes was finally released in their laughter. The sound of their combined laugh echoed off the walls of the room, and Hermione instantly chose it as one of her favourite sounds in the world.
"Are you going to see her again?" she asked Harry after they had calmed down.
"I'll have to, won't I?" he replied, as overwhelmed as if Hermione had suggested he take extra Potions lessons. "We have other DA meetings."
"You know perfectly well what I mean." Hermione grew impatient.
Clearly, Harry hadn't really thought about it. His eyes became veiled and Hermione guessed he was remembering Madam Puddifoot's embracing couples. She looked at him with an affectionate smile. She was torn between her joy at seeing her best friend enjoying the beginnings of a romantic relationship and her support for Ginny, who would probably be crushed if she heard this.
"Oh, anyway, you'll probably have plenty of opportunities to ask her out." Hermione concluded, picking up her quill again.
"What if he doesn't want to?" asked Ron, seeing the horror on Harry's face at the thought.
"Don't be silly, Harry's been in love with Cho for ages, haven't you, Harry?" said Hermione evasively, her mind drifting a little.
She imagined Draco inviting her to Hogsmeade, kissing her in the centre of the village, having tea with her, surrounded by people. She felt a small tingle of jealousy at the thought of Harry being able to do all that without having to hide.
Harry didn't answer. For several minutes the only sound was the crackling of the fire in the fireplace. Hermione still had her quill in her hand, but she was no longer writing: small drops of black ink were falling onto the ancient paper without her noticing.
"Who are you writing this novel to?" asked Ron suddenly, trying to read the piece of parchment now lying on the floor.
Hermione automatically pulled it towards her to stop him from reading.
"To Viktor." she replied curtly.
"Krum?"
"Do we know any other Viktors?"
She saw the effects of jealousy on Ron's face and felt a strange satisfaction at the thought of him being jealous of Viktor. But instead of losing his temper, as Draco would have done, Ron lowered his head to his essay and muttered something to himself. He went back to writing, and Hermione realised at that moment that Draco's jealousy had nothing to do with a simple fear of seeing her with someone else. It was possessiveness, almost obsession. He wanted her all to himself, no matter what he said. He was incapable of seeing her with anyone else, just as she would have been incapable of seeing him fall in love with anyone else.
It was certainly very toxic, but Hermione couldn't help but smile at the thought. She was the one who had that effect on him. It was her he wanted. Her, and no one else.
Hermione finished the letter and carefully sealed it. Harry was staring at the fire, probably remembering the moment he'd kissed Cho, and Hermione wondered if he'd felt the same emotions she had, that blazing fire that had ignited every nerve in her body. Just thinking about it made her magic surge out of her control and her feather burst into flames. Hermione blew on it to extinguish it without Harry or Ron noticing.
The second years playing Exploding Snap went to bed, and Hermione, Ron and Harry were once again the last in the Common Room. Hermione yawned, finally feeling the fatigue in her muscles after the long day, and got up with a "Good night!" to the boys, who responded with two waving hands in her direction.
When Hermione arrived discreetly at her dormitory, her gaze was immediately drawn to Lavender's blonde hair spread out on her pillow. Hermione felt a little bad about using her like that, but deep down she knew it was for Theo's own good. That he needed it far more than she did.
Hermione pulled on her pyjamas and brushed her teeth, lost in thought. She had kissed Draco. Not him, her. She had no idea where this burst of courage had come from. Maybe it was a chemical reaction in her body, maybe she was physically magnetised to him. She ran her cool fingers over her lips, trying to remember how he'd captured them. She could almost feel his tongue tracing the outline and her cheeks flamed at the memory.
Hermione tied her wayward hair into braids and was about to get into bed when something caught her eye out of the window. The sky was black, studded with stars, and the snow-covered branches of the trees at the edge of the forest waved gently in the darkness. Hermione squinted and suddenly saw the silhouette of an owl standing out against the blackness outside. Ebony.
She walked over to the window and gently opened it to let the owl in. He shook its snowy feathers and gave a low hoot in greeting. Then he held out his paw and Hermione unhooked the parchment.
Before she could open it, Ebony darted out of the window and back into the sky, presumably to the comfort of the Owlery.
There were only two lines on the paper:
Astronomy Tower, midnight.
Bring one of your jam jars.