LW: And now things are wrapping up, should be nice and simple… it's not going to be is it?
Rubber King & Mirror Master - New World Chaos: Mission complete, leaving Paradox Island.
Punk Hazard
"Are you idiots done fooling around?" Smoker sighs, getting off the Den Den Mushi to see how his men messed up his simple order not to fraternize or antagonize the pirates. Turned out it was by painting a literal dividing line between one group and the other, which Tashigi at least ignored so she could cuddle Zoro "Listen, I just got in touch with G5, they're sending a ship to pick us all up so we're staying on the dock until they arrive, understood?"
"Yes sir!"
"You're turning yourself in Brownie, but we all made friends" Luffy pouts.
"It's for the best Luffy, Caesar has been exposing all his men to low levels of highly toxic substances, but the government will treat us if we turn ourselves in" Brownbeard explains, the Captain nodding in understanding "I'd rather rot in jail as myself, than die here as Caesar's guinea pig" he spits, eyes flicking to where Caesar, Baby 5 and Buffalo were all tied up on the shore, unconscious and entirely non-threatening "One last thing though, I can't tell you how happy I was to see your boys clock Caesar like that" he laughs.
"Hey Sanji, why are we building this wall?" Brook asks as he lays another brick.
"It's not a wall it's a firepit. I need a big pot to make enough food for everyone, so I need a big fire pit" Sanji explains.
"And you didn't ask Valentina to just make you a fire pit because?"
"It doesn't feel right taking short cuts like that with cooking" the blond sighs.
"Are you fucking kidding me!" Nami screams.
"Before you blow up, tell me this, do you trust Smoker and Tashigi?" Kaos asks, as it was clear their navigator didn't like the idea/statement given by Tashigi, that they would be taking the children "Not the Marines, not the World Government, Smoker and Tashigi?"
"I… they've helped us out a couple times, and while a little gruff, Smoker does strike me as how I always imagined Bellemere running things back when she was a marine" Nami pauses, muttering lowly.
"You're not the only person here who cares about the children's safety. What Vergo did, was sick and twisted, almost as bad as Caesar. That gasbag may have performed the experiments, but Vergo supplied him with his test subjects and covered it up for years. I get it, this revelation is bad for everyone but you pirates, but we won't let anything happen to them. We need to fix the mistakes of that rat, we need to make things right" Tashigi pleads, her eyes misting over even in the freezing winds "Plus, the kids will need extensive medical care to deal with the things Caesar did to them, we'll be contacting Dr. Vegapunk for a treatment plan as soon as we return to base, then, once they are stable once more, the G5 will personally escort EVERY child back to their parents, you have my word as a Marine Captain, and a child of the Frigid Lands" she finishes with a low bow, shocking those in earshot.
The moment was interrupted by Chopper's screaming as he rushes across the deck in a frenzy, only stopping when he hits the brick wall that was Zoro, and falls onto his back.
"Well, Chopper's getting his daily exercise" Valentina groans, then watches as the reindeer's panic attack causes Brook to knock over and crack Kinnemon's stone shell "Huh, so maybe we should have just dropped him from a height at the start?" she wonders aloud.
"LUFFY! Law's committing murder! Several in fact!" Chopper screams as he leaps onto the railing of the tanker.
"As have I! Well just the one, and Kinemon was already dead, but I still broke him!" the skeleton frets, right until…
"MOMONOSUKE!" Kinemon bellows as he sits up like nothing happened, getting kicked in the face by Sanji for startling him.
"So, not dead then?" Luffy mutters in confusion, Kaya slinking over to check on the 'not actually dead' samurai, when a poof of smoke catches his eye.
"Kinemon!" Momonosuke screams, the smoke clearing to reveal he had once more become human.
"Momonosuke!" Kinemon cries, rushing over and scooping up the nude child, holding him tenderly as both cry tears of joy and relief at their reunion.
"So, the dragon was the child we were searching for after all" Vivi hums as the 2 separate.
"Indeed, though, he's not usually this naked" Kinemon chuckles, as Momo panics and the pirates scramble for a rock so Kinemon could use his Devil fruit power to clothe the boy before he catched frostbite "There we are, properly dressed like a true son of Wano" he chuckles, getting a smile from the young lad, before his hunger started to gnaw at him once more.
"I just realised, did anyone tell Chopper how Law's Devil Fruit works?" Alvida wonders, given their doctor's screaming a moment ago, he'd probably not seen Law fighting, or more importantly the aftermath. Or he didn't remember Sabaody when he quite literally tore apart a squad of marines and put them back together like a Lego set. Or how Kinemon was in little bits when they first met him.
"Probably not, hence why he freaked out. Hopefully Law was nicer to the kids before cutting them open, because he's got a terrible bedside manner"
With the kids
"Hey it's the raccoon!" one of the kids yelled excitedly
"Wait, you're all ok, and not cut to bits? There's not even any blood" Chopper mutters to himself as the kids crowd him.
"Yeah, this guy with a puffy hat came and said he was going to get all the bad stuff out of us, and he did" one of the smaller kids cheered.
"It was weird that he had to cut us open, but it didn't hurt, it was even kind of tingly, and we all felt a lot better after he was finished so it's probably fine" the largest grins.
"That's good to hear, I guess I jumped to conclusions, as long as you're all feeling better then I'm happy" Chopper smiles widely.
"Not all of us. Moka's still not woken up since we brought her here" one of the girls fret, Chopper toddling over to check on her, still feeling terrible guilt for letting her help them, and how this was the end result of that assistance.
"Mr. Raccoon, is she going to be alright?"
"I'm a reindeer" Chopper corrects "And I promise you, Moka will be fine, she just needs a little longer to get better than you guys because of what she did"
"She ate all those bad candies, to save us, and we were hurting her" some of the kids whimper.
"No stop, Moka wouldn't want you to cry over this, the stuff messed with your heads, made you NEED them you weren't in control" Chopper tries to explain to them, and it seemed to be working, even just a little.
"Hey Mr. Reindeer, do you know where Miss Nami is? We all wanna thank her for rescuing us, just like she promised" One of the girls asks as he slides off Moka, getting nods from all nearby kids.
"Hey kids" Tashigi calls as she steps into the room "Let's get you all home, the Navy's gonna take you all to your parents safe and sound" she says with a soft smile.
"NO! WE DON'T WANNA GO WITH THE NAVY!" The kids all cry in near unison.
"What about the Robot?"
"And the stretchy guy?"
"Or the guy with weird eyebrows?"
"The ninja girl?"
"Or the Angel Duck?"
'She probably should have seen this coming' Chopper thinks with a sigh, not only were the Straw Hats more interesting, but the G5 were definitely the least professional, most thug-like marines the kids, and pirates had ever seen.
Outside
"So, did you find a compromise?" Ussop asks, seeing Nami leaning against the railings.
"Yeah, the marines are handling it. I WANT to help these kids, and you of all people know when someone's talking a big game, but it's probably better for these kids if a marine vessel hands them over to their parents, than a gang of pirates, especially one with our ever-growing infamy" she chuckles to herself "As long as the kids are ok I don't care, but I wanted to be sure the marines would treat them right, you can never tell given the goons our guys pal around with" she adds, Usopp a little amused she referred to Smoker and Tashigi as theirs.
A little later
"I didn't just spend my 2 years away from the crew learning about jiggle physics, I learned the 99 New Kama Kempo recipes, one of which is perfect for our current situation. Hormone soup du jour with SeaPig pork" Sanji announces, to the cheers of the entire group…. Because it means food time! "Now since it's clear you've been running on empty for a while, I recommend you start with the soup and eat slowly, the food's not going anywhere" he winks as he lays out a small table for Momonosuke, surprising a fair few people as Sanji usually only treats women this nicely… then again, he knew a thing or 2 about starvation.
Momo sat there silently, eyes misting over, while Luffy & Alvida start drooling to the left of him, Sanji's food was always great, but this stuff looked extra tasty "I do not want this, you can't force me to consume you're strange concoctions!" The dragon boy cries, about to throw the bowl when Sanji grabs him by the collar of his kimono.
"Oh no you don't. I don't care if you are a kid, nobody wastes food in my presence. You break that bowl I break you, you got me"
"I'm not hungry, I already said I won't" Momo whimpers, as his stomach gurgles angrily.
"Yeah? Your stomach's telling a different story" Sanji deadpans, but keeps the kid at shoulder height.
"Stomachs do not speak, your Northern tongue speaks nothing but gibberish"
"We eagerly accept the meal!" Kinnemon shouts, before taking Momo's seat and beginning to dig in, starting with the pork, to the surprise of Sanji and a few of the others.
"Excuse me?" the blond coughs.
"This food is incredi-breu! I can practically feel my strength returning" Kinemon gushes, sampling a little of everything that had been laid out on the table.
"If this was an attempt to show the kid the food was safe to eat, or even that it was ok to accept food from us, it's actually a decent plan" Kaos hums, Medusa claps in what he assumes to be agreement from his crossed arms.
"Kin…" Momonosuke whimpers.
"Accept their offerings my boy, my life was spared by the good hearts of the people in front of us. They are kind folk, and they really do just want to help" Kinemon assures the lad
"I can trust them, and their food?"
"You haven't eaten anything since you got here have you? You are a true child of Wano, with an iron will, but your fast has ended son, now you can feast like we were personally invited to the Festival of the Sun!"
Momonosuke looks from his guardian, to the cook, then the bowl in his hands, sniffles, and nods. Sanji sets the kids down and he drains the bowl in a matter of minutes, his tears a mix of sober, and joyful now he'd started to fill his stomach, and finally tasted Sanji's cooking.
"So, now the dragon kid's been fed, can the rest of us eat?" Luffy whines, to the fond exasperation of Vivi, and the agreement of Alvida.
"Seems that barrier of there's didn't last long" Carue hums, in her hybrid form as her normal duck form made eating Sanji's food difficult.
"It's Sanji's cooking, of course it didn't" Shirahoshi giggles, in a human form and about Nami's height for the convenience of everyone.
"Straw Hat, we need to talk" Law grunts, getting an eye roll from his fellow captain before wandering over "We don't have time to sit around and eat, we need to leave"
"That still sounds like a you problem. We'll eat, leave the rest of the marines and the kids, and THEN leave. Sanji's not going to let you waste food Traffy, and I'm not in the mood to go fight some bird brain on an empty stomach" Luffy huffs, then turns to the rest of the group "Trouble's on the way, so we have little time to do this. Therefore: Party Hard and Fast, then we ship out!" he cries, Law's jaw drops, while the rest of the dock cheer.
"You really underestimated how monumental a task controlling Luffy really is didn't you Law?" Robin coos in amusement "It's why those who know him, don't even try. Kaos has tried every possible angle, and gently nudging him using things he knows Luffy would like to do, seems to be the most effective. In this case, fighting Donflamingo, and later Kaido. But that doesn't mean he's going to march to your drum, he'll do it his way, fuck any plans laid out that say otherwise, Fufufufufu" she giggles, just before a tail pulls her over to her family, accepting a plate form Artemis and joining the festivities.
'This boy is going to be the death of me, probably from a brain aneurysm' Law scowls, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"MOKA!" Chopper's scream from the ship gave them one more piece of good news, Moka was awake and making a food recovery…. And she was hungry.
Down the shore
"Law, I know I gave my word, but you can't expect me to go along with this, you're a pirate. Though you have had plenty of chances to kill me, especially while in possession of my heart, so I hope to at least get this out of you, what do you intend to do, using Straw Hat to what ends?"
Law smirks "Using him? How do you know he's not using me?"
"Straw Hat's too blunt, he doesn't know HOW to manipulate someone, not like you"
"He has smart people on his crew, ones who he almost relishes in telling me aren't intimidated one bit by my bounty, moniker, or Devil Fruit" Law argues "Plus, there's the fact that while both of our plans align for now, this is just a detour on his actual goals"
"I presume you're not going to tell me what those are?" Smoker sighs, only good thing about this conversation was the food, Straw Hat really did have the Devil's luck there.
"Nope. Though just so you know, once we leave here, I'm thinking of heading over to Greenbit just off the coast of Dressrosa. Who knows, maybe the Straw Hats might be useful after all" Law muses aloud to the marine, completely invalidating any claims to not be trying to manipulate the other pirate crew to do the heavy lifting for his own goals.
Some time later
"Well this is the end, good luck Smokie, take good care of those kids" Luffy grins as everyone's gear gets packed up and Sunny is prepped for their escape, meanwhile the kids all charge onto the tanker, eager to return home. The G5 had to be dumbasses though, redrawing the 'Line between Good and Evul' as well as erecting a flag barrier to block the kids view of the Straw Hats, luckily those that wanted to say goodbye just did so from the Sunny, and Shirahoshi's true size was too large to hide with tiny flags, so she waved and flashed a peace sign, wishing all the kids a safe trip, before heading onto the Sunny at a more reasonable size.
"Idiots, the lot of them" Smoker mutters with a tired sigh, then turns to Luffy "I don't like to say this, but I'm glad you showed up Straw Hat, things could have been a lot worse without your crews interference" he admits, grimacing like he'd bitten into a lemon.
"No problem, it's what friends do. I'll be seeing you" Luffy grins, hoping on after his crew, waving with extended arms at the kids as he goes, meanwhile Tashigi has reached her limit and was firing icicles down on her idiot subordinates, which at least raised the kids mood by making them giggle at the Yuki Onna sending the men running around like headless chickens.
"Hey Franky, what happened to the Mini Merry we rode in on, it should still be on the other side of the island?" Robin hums as she boarded.
"Well Robin, you're the 7th person to ask me that today, I'll tell you the simple answer, she's back safe and sound. Longer answer, I went to retrieve her in the Sunny after I found where Caesar and his goons had stashed the poor girl, then came back and was checking that tanker for salvage when those guys showed up and attacked the Franky Shogun looking for Caesar"
"Sounds like you had your own little adventure while we were hunting for the kids and Caesar in the lab" Robin chuckles, awaiting departure.
Finally the tanker set off, the kids waving and crying, as well as declaring they're gonna be 'awesome pirates' like the Straw Hats when they grow up, Kaos smiling softly when he noticed Luffy hide his face under his hat, the captain realising he was just like Shanks to these kids.
"Hey, why's this weirdo tagging along with us, Luffy's didn't invite him onto the crew did he?" Zoro asks, almost like he only just noticed Law was there.
Usopp pauses "Right, you weren't there for that part. Luffy got us wrapped in some more bullshit, and are currently in an alliance with Law, it's why we had to capture Caesar alive, despite the fact Robin and Kaos would happily merc the guy for what he did to Medusa"
"We're fighting Kaido…. Eventually, apparently we're fighting Doflamingo first" Kaos calls back to the duo.
Zoro snorts "Another Warlord, we'll have fought all of them at this rate"
A few minutes later
"Sunny's ready to go whenever you are Luffy" Franky calls alongside Val, doing last-minute checks on the controls, while the others mostly watch Kin'emon and Momonosuke's reaction to their eccentric little ship, with varying levels of amusement.
"Alright, let's get moving guys! Straight ahead to….. Where are we going again?" Luffy asks, turning to Law as this was his plan they were technically following for the moment…. Until he got bored.
"Dressrosa. Full speed ahead no stops, from there we'll make land on the eastern peninsula of Greenbit"
"Neat. Is Dressrosa cool, or a shithole like Punk Hazard?" Luffy asks with a grin.
"It doesn't matter, we're not sightseeing, we've got important business to attend to" Law declares flatly.
"You, have business in Dressrosa, the rest of us can do whatever we like, you're not our captain" Victor scoffs "And to answer the question for him Luffy, I've been told Dressrosa is a beautiful place, and the residents are known for their fiery passion, and equally fiery tempers if they're anything like Candice" he chuckles remembering the Thunder telling him about growing up on the island before joining his Majesty.
"Sounds fun, hope we don't break too many things while we're there Shishishi" Luffy laughs.
"Just their local government" Vivi sighs while Shirahoshi giggles, the former knowing from experience, while the latter just has stories, but the Straw Hats do seem to make a habit of overhauling an island just by stepping onto the shore.
"Dressrosa! That's perfect. Here we were, praying you would allow us passage to the nearest port so we could make our way without inconveniencing you, and it turns out you're going exactly where we had planned to go. What good fortune our meetings were" Kinemon cheers.
Just as things were going well the Sunny shifts in the waves, tilting and picking up speed as if on a downward slope.
"Anyone want to tell us what's going on?" Usopp calls out, while the others try to get used to whatever was going on.
"It's called a sea hill, no big deal or that uncommon" Law shrugs
"Yes they are! They're clearly a New World phenomenon, therefore, not a common thing if they're only present in THIS part of the ocean!" the sniper argues through gritted teeth.
"Best we don't go against the current" Law continues, ignoring the long nose "The middle needle on your logpose should be pointing us to Dressrosa, follow that exactly and we should be just fine" he assures them, to the absolute minimum "Just don't go direct, I wanna take the long way"
"You're not going to tell us shit are you?" Alvida grumbles
"Just trust me on this" Law states
"I trust you as far as Medusa can throw you" Artemis hums, hiding her smile with a cough as her sister makes pushing gestures at the surly doctor.
"The plan is already in motion, no backing out now" Law grunts.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell everyone the plan… oh well now's as good a time as any. Law here asked us to help him kill Kaido, so we're now in an alliance" Luffy declares with Garp levels of 'don't give a fuck'
"Huh, I kind of like this plan, apart from the part where we take a detour to Dressrosa and have to listen to this pansy ass string bean give us orders without giving us any actual information as to why" Zoro states, though his face did show clear eagerness about getting into a good fight.
"Is there an actual plan, or just a goal to fight a Yonko?" the sniper sighs.
"You know me and plans, I'll try stick to whatever Traffy tells us to do, but besides that…. Go nuts!" Luffy cheers, getting an equally annoyed look from his ally, as his crew "Our crew and Traffy's crew are gonna take on a Yonko, so let's try to get along and not kill each other, ok?"
"Can we vote on actually going through with this?" Nami asks, getting a nod of agreement from Chopper and Carue.
"You think a vote's gonna change his mind? Kyahaha!" Valentina giggles.
"She has a point, once Luffy puts his mind to something, it's happening, just a matter of time" Franky agrees.
"Franky's right, though I do wish you'd discussed it with us before jumping head first into an agreement like this" Vivi mutters, running her fingers through Luffy's hair "But you wouldn't be you if you did that I suppose"
"At least it finally explains the kidnapping, not Luffy's style, despite the accusations" Sanji chuckles, both princesses blushing as they know they were the reason those rumours/accusations existed "Normally if Luffy brought some weird sheep thing on board, I'd assume it was either lunch, or our newest crewmate" the cook adds, with a look of tired fondness.
"Shirorororo. Do you simpletons honestly believe you're going to get away with this? You're about to have some of the most powerful names in the world hunting you" Caesar taunts "You pea-brained simpletons, your stupidity and arrogance will be your death! There's a special place in hell for troglodytes like you!"
"Big deal, BigMom already wants me dead, how worse can adding Kaido to the list be?" Luffy shrugs, while Law's eyes bulge, he hadn't been told that!
Coughing loudly, Law centres himself to continue "You all did your part perfectly, kidnapping Caesar…"
"Meanwhile I ate all the SAD, kind of tasted like Apple cider, but had a more jelly-like feel" Alvida interrupts with a giggle.
"...not how I'd planned to do it, but the entire supply is destroyed, while its creator is in our custody. Most of the Big Name pirates have their own territory, run by their subordinates, they have many followers and reign over it all like a criminal Syndicate"
"Explains why they're called Emperors, they've each made a small empire of their own here in the New World" Kaya muses as she and Chopper treat Caesar, though a lot less gently than they normally would.
"It's nothing like anything you've ever dealt with before. Trying to take them down with a single pirate crew won't even get you close enough to see their captain's face. Having said that, they still need to operate underground. All their deals are carried out in secret, it's the only way they can safely avoid navy attention, and the most trusted among them, the one with easily the most power and influence in these seas, is Doflamingo. His underground alias is Joker, and out of all his business deals, he's got one client more important than ALL the others. His biggest spender is the Yonko Kaido: King of the Beasts. There you have it, that's our real target" he concludes.
"So this sack of shit, and a Warlord are just stepping stones in your completely innocent decision and plan to take out an emperor? Interesting" Valentina hums, knowing there was more going on than Law was telling them, but she didn't care, at least, not yet anyway.
Punk Hazard - a little later
"Mimihage" A voice gurgles from the shadows, a hand rising from it before ejecting a blade from his palm, the weapon cleaving straight through the spine of the alligator centaur, just above the hips, bifurcating the man and causing his upper half to fall sideways before landing on his back.
"What the fuck, He…." Brownbeard cries out, before freezing in panic seeing the beast rise from his shadow. A tattered, black cloak hung from his lanky frame, a grin with rows of jagged teeth and 7 eyes, a mildly glowing, toxic shade of yellow peering from under the hood.
"Chadros Higelyges" the being wheezes "You are a hard man to find. Luckily it will all be over quickly" a grin splits his face as the cloak shifts and a multitude of hands shoot out, pinning the bulky man to the ground as he climbs onto him.
"Stop!" Brownbeard cries, before the entity smashes his jaw with an oversized fist.
"Not until we get our payment" they hiss, whimpers and moans coming from the alligator centaur, as each of the smaller hands revealed a jaw in the palm, tearing into the man's flesh with voracious ease and eagerness "And of course, we need proof of death. Luckily the client gave us precise instructions" the smile was getting more and more twisted by the minute, as a set of smaller, spindly limbs emerged from his chest, each holding a blade about twice the length of his hand.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Smoker had just supervised the initial stage of his semi-competent subordinates' attempt at a rescue mission to retrieve their 'fallen' comrades, given Kinemon proved that being petrified doesn't mean you're dead yet, and thanks to the hazmat suits having been made by Dr. Vegapunk, they were more than enough to safely navigate the Shinokuni so long as it was correctly sealed up. Suits were limited and once they were in the lab proper they were on their own, but Smoker kept his eye on them right up to that point, plus he still had to keep an eye on Baby 5 and Buffalo's bodies, regardless of whatever Law did to their heads, but as he stepped out of the tunnel he heard a blood-curdling scream. His lower half erupts into a plume of smoke as he shoots towards the source, just as someone slinks off the now silent, corpse of Brownbeard, a bloody grin flashes behind his hood as it sinks into the floor, just before Smoker's jitte smashes the ground he'd been standing on.
"Shit" Smoker grunts, looking from Brownbeard to the spot on the ground, then floats up to assess the damage, some of his remaining marines rushing over to check things out.
"Holy crap he looks like he got mauled!" one of the G5 shouts as they check out the alligator centaurs' upper half, though Smoker was checking something else, and didn't like what he found.
"Anyone still here have medical training?" he calls down.
"I do sir!"
"Then get over here, I need confirmation of something" the Vice admiral orders, the marine quickly clambering up to him, now both standing on Brownbeard's collarbones "There are bite marks all over the flesh, portions completely torn apart, and the jaw appears crushed more so than simply broken" he lists off, then points to the mouth, where he'd pried open the jaws with his jitte "One problem, that doesn't look ripped out does it?"
The medic shivers "No sir, that looks like it was cut out, surgical precision. Everything else looks like a wild animals or a berserker got to him,but this, it takes precision, someone incredible skilled with a blade"
Smoker sighs "I was afraid of that, as well as confirmation of something nobody wanted to consider" at the medic's confused look he continues "Whoever did this, seemed to melt into the shadows, I'd say the Darkness or Shadow Devil fruits were to blame, but given the crash course I received in how things work in the New World, it's probably more likely, as much as I hate to admit it, that the killer is a high-level sorcerer. Kira is a mage" he scowls, one more thing he needed to worry about.
And then Doflamingo decided to show up and wreck shop, landing with the severed heads of his minions, then proceeded to knock out most of G5 with a burst of Conqueror's haki.
"The pirates that were here, they had to have shipped out in the last hour or so. Tell me where they went" Doflamingo threatens,
"You got some nerve threatening the navy, you're a Warlord you bastard" One of the G5 sneer, as several still conscious aim their rifles.
"Stand down, that's what he wants!" Smoker shouts, but it was too late, Doflamingo grins and with little more than a wave of his hand, the marines start to lose control of their bodies, puppets to his manipulations. With a twisted smirk, he aimed all their guns at each other, prepared to fire, all while the men shouted to stay back or get away.
"I can understand Law, he's a Warlord, but the Straw Hats are nothing but green rookies, so why did you let them go? TELL ME WHERE THEY WENT!" Doffy demands, starting to lose his temper. As he leapt into the air bullets began firing, the marines taking each other out near effortlessly, but for once the Warlord was getting no pleasure from the chaos.
"That's enough Doflamingo!" Smoker declares, dropping down in a plume between the Warlord and his injured men "You're dealing with me now"
"Are you going to answer my questions then?" Doflamingo asks, his tone back to a lighter, amused level "It's a simple one really: What direction did those little brats go? Where are the Straw Hats heading?" he questions.
Smoker shrugs, taking a drag from his cigars "I'm sorry, I have no idea where they were heading, Joker" he responds, watching the veins in Doflamingo's forehead pulsate "We almost caught them but they got away, I doubt Base Commander Vergo's going to be happy with us when I file my report"
"We both know he's dead, so don't play games with me" Doflamingo snarls, hands twitching angrily "And that means you know far too much for my tastes" the Warlord declares before lunging at the Vice Admiral, Smoker dispersing into smoke to avoid the razer slash that tore through the ground where he'd been just a moment prior, Doflamingo continued to swing his arms and curl his fingers, slashing through the ice all around them but failing to hit Smoker despite his best efforts.
"Take this!" Smoker shouts, coating his fists and forearms in armament haki and throwing his upper half at Doflamingo who ducks and weaves, bouncing around almost playfully to avoid his swings. One swing almost managed to strike the Warlord in a delicate area, but he was able to dodge in time and instead the punch left cracks in the stone directly behind him. From there the battle took to the sky, Doffy swinging his arms while Smoker dodges whatever the Warlord was attacking him with, mostly successful, minus one near miss that cut his cheek.
"This is pointless" Doflamingo muses, his tone almost bored, but closer to resigned, as the fight once more reaches the ground "You don't have what it would take to kill me Smoker, that much is clear from our little spar today. Now just die with a little dignity" He sneers, preparing one more attack.
"No! I won't let that pink freak kill you smokie!" One of the G5 cries, those still able to move rushing towards the two.
Doflamingo's grin widens "Oh good, you're all lining up for the slaughter, saves me the trouble of hunting your worthless hides later"
"Stay back!" Smoker commands, shooting between Doflamingo and his men, billowing smoke to form some level of protection against the Warlord, but his attacks were laced with armament haki, meaning they cut the logia as easily as any human, leaving deep gashes across his chest, as well as knocking him to the ground, groaning and wheezing on his back.
"Don't do this, he's on his last legs. Don't take him from us! We're just a bunch of misfits and screw ups, he's the only one who believes in us!" the G5 beg as Doffy stalks over and sits on Smoker's ribs, intentions clear.
"Oh don't worry, despite what most think, I can't read minds, so any and all of you may know more than I'm comfortable with. This is why Smoker is just the start, I'm killing EVERYONE, including Law and those straw hat bastards. Say goodbye" Doflamingo declares before raising his hand to separate Smoker's head from his shoulders…..
"Now hold on there" Doffy freezes mid-strike at the voice directly behind him "Pardon me for the intrusion…"
"That's Aokiji!" A G5 member shouts.
"Idiot, he defected, he's not an admiral anymore" Another hisses.
"I'm afraid I need you to step aside" Kuzan says politely, but the order was clear, and Doflamingo was smart enough to know he couldn't win against a former Admiral "That man you intend on killing down there, is an old friend of mine"
?
"Well that is interesting. He does have the birthmark, 2 crescent moons back to back under the tongue" Alistair hums as the 'proof of death' drops out of the portal "Kira might be the best merc we've had, and the most elaborate alias I've ever had to create. Azulong!" he shouts, a buzz is heard before the Lightning logia appears by his desk "Who do we have near Dressrosa at the moment?"
"Cipher's out doing his own thing, I believe that's his current location, why?"
"Kira's finished another job, one I didn't think he'd manage to complete, only because I'd assumed Brown beard was already dead. He wanted to know if we had any contracts for Dressrosa, and if anyone in our groups or allies are in the general area"
"We have about half a dozen, some of whom I don't remember even agreeing to, or hearing about them, but the documents seem legit" Azulong muses, setting them down before the deer mink "There's also one for Gladius, and his Devil fruit, as well as Cang Du, seems he's failed so badly he's expendable, not even worth an Auswählen on"
"That will be a challenge worth seeing with my own eyes. As for the others, what did Grima think?"
"She says there's something terribly wrong with that country, but wouldn't elaborate. Why?"
"There are things in this world that are hidden to all but the eyes of a God, and we know the Captain has had those for decades at this point. We'll keep an eye out, I get the feeling our little protege is about to cause a mess before long, Kufufufufu"
TBC
LW: And with that, Punk Hazard is pretty much over.