"Okay seriously we've been driving for like 20 minutes now Cappie", I groan. "Are you taking me out to the woods to kill me? Or to get a back alley abortion perhaps? So you can keep being a cocky womanizing asshole without the weight of me staying in your room?"
"Whoa, that's a little dark Case", Cappie gives me a look of faux betrayal as I look over at him. "Does the pregnancy mood swing girly stuff start as early as 9 and a half weeks along?"
He raises his eyebrows at me, giving me a look that just makes me glare at him before I look back at the road in front of me.
"'Pregnancy mood swing girly stuff?'", I raise my eyebrows right back at him in the exact same way he had looked at me a second ago. "Okay Mr. 'I know absolutely nothing about being pregnant'".
He laughs at me then, clearly amused with our fighting, I think secretly getting a rise from it. Or… not even secretly at all, because he's grinning right now like he's just won the lottery.
"Sorry that I'm a regular 21 year old guy Case", He scoffs. "I've never really had to ever even think about the word pregnancy… ever".
"Yeah clearly", I scoff, shaking my head with a humourless laugh. "If I had a baby bump right now I'd point to it as proof of that statement. Obviously you haven't had to think about pregnancy, since you were pretty lax with the whole condom situation the middle time".
I give him a look, very matter of fact, knowing I've got him here. It happened 3 times that night and the first and last time we were covered… But that second time in his closet got us in the situation we're currently in, in which I was driving out bounds of where I knew in Cyprus. I usually just drove around campus and the town, I had no reason to go anywhere else really.
"Well sorry, most girls I get with aren't begging me to go for three rounds all within two hours", He grins at me devilishly, annoyingly to me. "It caught me off guard".
I give him a narrow eyed glare, trying to make it as dramatic as possible.
Cappie just chuckles to himself as he stares me up and down. Clearly he's thinking something up in his mind even if he isn't saying it.
"What?", I bug him to let me know what he's finding so funny right now.
"Nothing", he shrugs, his cocky smirk still plastered across his face. "Just… I absolutely love that someone as sweet and innocent and good girl like… can also be so different when I get you alone in my bed".
I just roll my eyes at him.
"I was drunk", I say strongly, really not wanting him to know how much I enjoyed those three times that night. Because of course I did, I was deprived of feeling that way since freshman year when I was last with him.
"I was there with you the whole night at Lite N Easy", He grins, eyes lit up with his usual mischief as he scoffs to himself winningly. "You only had two drinks. You're a lightweight but not that much of a lightweight Case".
He gives me a look to which I brush off with a groan and a shake of my head. But unfortunately my body betrays me and starts to make my heart skip beats, pounding faster, this conversation about that night is lighting something up in me. Something that felt like a buzzing all over my skin.
"You forget that I know you pretty damn well", He looks ahead at the road but I can see his smirk still. "You never get drunk. I think you've probably been drunk a total of 3 times in your entire life".
He looks over at me now and I fold, sighing.
"2 times actually", I let out in a much softer voice than my usual oppositional tone I had reserved just for fighting with him. "Just 2".
"Exactly", he grins winningly. Because he has won I suppose. But honestly I couldn't even fight it. Cappie was smart, a lot smarter than people gave him credit for, definitely smarter than he ever let on. And he certainly knew that I was enjoying myself that night. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. The way my body tightly contracted around him in rhythmic waves, the way my legs shook to my core, the whimpers I'd let out against him that I couldn't silence even if I'd tried. And then there was the fact that the whole entire night, every single time, was my idea.
"Wait a second…", My thoughts about that night are completely interrupted and sent to the wayside when a lightbulb goes off in my head.
I look over to Cappie now with a completely different expression than our usual joking looks of annoyance. I look at him softly now, all my features feeling at rest, my breath feeling like it's literally been taken away at the realization I've just made.
And, from the way he's looking at me with the same smile as my own, he knows that it's just dawned on me too.
"We're… um… we're going to Moe's?", I let out meekly, looking ahead at the road still, even though it was a much quieter area outside of the main town of Cyprus, where there were barely any cars.
Moe's Diner. Where Cappie had taken me for our first date.
It had been the day after that KT party where we'd met. He'd picked me up in his rickety piece of crap car that was such a part of him now that secretly if he got rid of it I'd be pretty sad. He hadn't told me where we were going when I'd gotten in. And I remember joking that I barely even knew him, that he could be an axe murderer for all I knew. He laughed and told me that I could trust him, he'd pleaded with me to just trust him. So I did.
And then we'd ended up at the diner. It was somewhere Cappie had explored to while he was in town for a week earlier than I was, than probably most freshman were. And it was just like him, to go adventuring around, always up for exploring. He'd told me he'd found a really great place to eat at. And the night before when we met he'd asked me what my favorite food was and I'd laughed and said pancakes.
And well, the next day he'd brought me to a place that had just about any kind of pancakes you could ask for. I remember 18 year old me feeling like I knew I was going to fall in love with this guy as soon as I'd realized that he'd brought me here because he'd actually listened to what I'd said. Because he was thoughtful like that. Not to mention smooth.
"It sure took you long enough to realize Case", He jokes with another chuckle.
I keep my smile and the way I'm probably blushing to myself as I just keep my focus on driving, on what's in front of me. The darkness probably helps too, helps him from realizing he'd made me feel something. Made me feel more than I've felt in a long, long time.
"I um… I could be up for some pancakes I suppose", I shrug, trying to act casual.
"You suppose?", He laughs.
I peer over at him now for the first time in a while to look at him, feeling myself trying to stifle in a grin but it's definitely not working.
"I might throw them up tomorrow morning but…", I shrug as the two of us laugh, me referring to the unfortunate bouts of morning sickness that I was still having.
"Well… as I always say, we'll deal with that tomorrow", He scoffs.
Yep, typical procrastinating Cappie. He probably wasn't even freaking out about this baby like I was basically 24/7. Sometimes I wished I was like him, the way he was able to never let things get to him, like he was immune to feeling stressed.
"Okay Cap", I shake my head as I roll my eyes back, but I'm smiling nonetheless as I pull into the parking lot of Moe's, no longer needing him to direct me every two seconds. "You know… this is the farthest out I've ever been from the area of Cyprus since I've lived here".
I'm pretty sure we're in a whole town over actually. A cute small town that reminded me of the places in the shows I watched and treasured in high school, like Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill.
"Well when you basically get run out of all your usual hangout spots because you scandalously got pregnant by your loser ex boyfriend, you may need to think about expanding your horizons Case", He smirks at me jokingly as we now sit in the parked car.
"I wouldn't say loser...", I shrug, giving him a joking smirk. "I'd more so say I got 'scandously pregnant by my poster boy for being a stereotypical frat guy ex who's probably slept with more girls than anyone else at this school'".
I cross my arms now, giving him a matter of fact smirk.
"Hey, all I'm hearing is you giving me a compliment", He just continues to keep up his cocky smirk. "It's hard work to achieve a feat like that… I mean, slept with more girls than anyone else on this campus? I feel like I should get a medal… or at least some kind of ceremony".
I glare at him now in annoyance.
"You know, if I wasn't so hungry… and a little hopped up on freshman year nostalgia", I admit. "I would punch you".
"Mmm, don't threaten me with a good time", He grins.
"I'm going inside, you can follow or not", I continue to glower. "This is my car anyways so… I can leave when I want and you can…"
I look around jokingly.
"Be stuck out here in the sticks", I give him a wicked smile now that says I'm annoyed with him.
He just seems more and more amused by us fighting like this, him turning to open his car door to get out.
"Hey!", He laughs as I get out of the car, him waiting in front of me so we can walk in together. "You need me Case. Someone's gotta pay for your pancakes".
He pulls out his wallet with a smirk.
I try and stifle in a laugh but its no use.
"Okay fine", I giggle. "I won't leave you out here to fend for yourself".
We walk up to the door, the two of us blushing and smiling like idiots.
"Perfect. That's progress", Cappie grins as he holds the door open for me.
I narrow my eyes, arms crossed against my chest, against my cleavage that was now more prominent as a result of this pregnancy.
"I told you you don't have to open doors for me like this, I'm perfectly capable", I speak to him in a matter of fact voice. "But... okay, let's go".
I nod and walk through the doorway, Cappie following behind me, his tall presence next to me.
I can see his smirk out of the corner of his eye.
"Great. And if I know you, you'll be a lot happier once you have food in your belly", He remarks with a laugh. "And that was before you were pregnant and had sugar cravings".
I turn around to give him a raise of my brow for a moment and then I give in.
"Fine, you're right. Once I get my pancakes in front of me, watch out, I may even fall in love with you again Cap", I speak sarcastically.
"Well if that's the case I'm gonna have to bring you here every single day", He grins.
Before I can argue, before I can continue on with this banter of ours, a woman comes up to us to happily take us to a booth.
"You sure you don't want to get something with like… protein of some sort Case?", He raises his eyebrow at me as I push my menu to this corner of the table, done looking at it. "Something with some nutritional value at least? You know, since you're like… growing a whole other person at the current moment."
I can tell even though he's joking around like usual he's kind of serious about his comment still.
"It's blueberry pancakes Cap", I argue. "Blueberries are like… a superfood I'm pretty sure. I read it in Cosmo!"
"Mmm okay", Cappie laughs.
"Besides… haven't you ever heard of pregnant people craving stuff? I'm craving these pancakes alright? So I think keeping the pregnant person happy and not forcing them to like, eat a salad or something, is just as important", I say like I'm an expert. "And besides, you don't have to worry about your offspring Cap. I give it lots of nutrients every day alright?"
I give him a roll of my eyes.
"Okay, okay", He laughs, smiling at me sincerely now, his eyes lighting up at the way I called this baby his offspring. I think it made him laugh. "Sorry, I wasn't suggesting a salad, don't worry. I was just gonna say you could get a burger and fries like me. Just because, uh, I'm trying to look out for you".
He looks off nervously with a shrug at that last sentence, running his hands through the back of his hair.
It's almost cute, him getting nervous to tell me something like this, something vulnerable. Since it was such a departure from his usual assuredness.
"You don't have to, I'm good Cap", I nod, giving him a slight smile, my tone far from annoyed now. "But… thanks".
He just nods with his usual grin.
We stare at each other then for a moment, Cappie smirking at me, me hoping he can't tell what's going on inside my body, the butterflies that involuntarily have taken over.
"Hi there, what can I get you two tonight?", A woman's gingerly voice interrupts us, and my inner thoughts about why I'm feeling this way about Cappie, so much so that I jump a bit in the booth we're in.
"Hey there…", I see Cappie pause to look to at her nametag. "Muriel. How's your night going?"
Cappie grins, working his usual charming magic with her.
He had a way with people, that was for sure. But especially with women. And obviously he wasn't interested in Muriel, who appeared to be too old to be working here at 8 o'clock at night, who looked almost as though she should be in a nursing home. But nonetheless, I'm sure by the time we leave here Cappie will have found a way to completely charm her, to have her under his spell.
"Well it's not going too bad, thank you for asking darlin", He smiles at him. "Nobody ever does".
She laughs jollily.
"Well they definitely should", Cappie smiles at her. "We all should take more time to ask each other how we're doing. This is a tough job, I'm sure".
"You know, you're right", Muriel smiles. "How're you two youngins doing?"
I definitely didn't know that people still said that word. Only Cappie would bring me somewhere where they do.
"We're doing great", Cappie answers for us and I nod, smiling slightly.
"Well that's good, we don't always get sweet young couples in here like this", She smiles as if she's gossiping. "Me and the girls have sort of been watching you two since you came in, if that's not too odd to confess! We just think you look so sweet together".
Me and Cappie turn to see a group of women wearing the diner waitress uniforms as they stand behind the bar counter. They wave nervously at us and me and Cap nod back with an awkward wave.
Then we look to each other, both mine and Cappie's expressions blank, not really knowing how the hell to handle this.
But Cappie handles it for me like he usually does, him typically being the dominant one between us.
"Well thanks you guys", He laughs good naturedly, looking to me and then Muriel. "That's really sweet to hear".
"Of course. So are we celebrating anything tonight?", She smiles big at us, looking back and forth between me and Cap.
The two of us just stare at each other again, me and Cappie.
"Um not real-", Cappie starts but I cut him off, speaking up for the first time now.
"Well I'm pregnant actually", I say shakily, the words coming out of my mouth like they're not really my own, like they're someone else's. Because I never thought they'd be mine. At least not for a long ways down the road. "We're… uh…"
I gesture between me and Cappie.
"We're pregnant", I shrug awkwardly.
I kind of hate when people say 'we're pregnant', but in this situation, I'm not really sure why, but I wanted it to be known to her that it's our baby together.
"Oh my gosh!!", Muriel just goes absolutely crazy, her reaction larger than I'd thought it would be.
I share a look with a completely confused Cappie, I can tell he hadn't in a million years thought I would tell people that.
Unexpectedly, Muriel leans in to give me a quick hug, making me stare at Cappie like I'm internally screaming 'help!'. But he just watches with a laugh, I'm sure completely entertained by this.
"Marylou! Darlene! Debbie! Marsha!", Muriel's now pulled away from our quick side hug to now alert her fellow waitress friends behind the bar. "She's pregnant!"
Muriel points to me as the middle aged women gasp and cheer for me, looking much much happier than me and Cappie had been when we'd found out.
"Congrats!"
"How sweet!"
"Wow!"
"Being a mom is the best!"
I hear all at once coming from them.
"Thank you…", I just give them an awkward wave and smile to them while I'm physically wincing inside at being the center of attention here in this mostly empty diner.
"Well congrats again you two, pregnancy is just absolutely beautiful! I love seeing a sweet young couple like you two… you remind me of me and my husband way back in the late sixties early seventies… we were just two dumb kids in love".
She sighs as she's clearly reminiscing, looking off for a moment.
I look to Cappie now, the two of us smirking at each other as we both try to contain a laugh.
"But we managed to pull it together, had four beautiful children together", She smiles tenderly. "It was the best thing I ever did. And I'm sure you'll feel the same way".
"Well… maybe not the four children thing for me", I giggle as the three of us laugh. "But… thank you, I um… we're just really young".
I look to her now, my expression a little sad.
And… I hated to admit it, but she sort of reminded me of my mom in some way and a part of me wished that my mom was here right now. These past few weeks I've really felt like I've just needed my mom. Even if we didn't have the best relationship. I was just so scared that I… I needed that presence I suppose. The presence of a mother… the very thing I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to be good at right now, being a mom.
So if I couldn't tell my mom yet because I wanted to have a solid plan before I told her and my dad, well I suppose Muriel was a close second.
"Oh hun, I had my first at 19", She smiles sweetly, looking at the two of us. "It was definitely hard but it was also the best thing I ever did, the best thing both me and my husband ever did. And my beautiful son is a doctor now, it's amazing to see them grow up".
"Wow that's great", I give her a nod, trying not to be too emotional myself, knowing that soon I'm going to be forced to make this life altering decision. Whether to keep the baby or give it up.
"It definitely is", She says contently, then appears to get her mind back on track. "Well, you two are probably starving! And here I am just taking you all your time!"
"Oh it's okay", I laugh, waving it off.
"Yeah totally fine", Cappie joins in, giving her a smile.
This is kind of on Cappie. If he wasn't such a people person we wouldn't have gotten into this and now are having all the waitresses in here fawning over us like we're puppies at the pet shop.
"Alright, well, what can I get for you two tonight?", She pulls out her notebook, still smiling.
Cappie gestures for me to go first.
"Oh um, I'll have the blueberry pancakes", I nod.
"And I'll have a cheeseburger and fries", Cappie adds.
"Perfect! I'll have that over for you as quick as can be!", She buzzes, grabbing our menus off the table. "And congrats again honey!"
She touches my shoulder.
"And congrats to dad too of course!", She gives Cappie a grin and I can tell her comment has completely freaked him out.
He awkwardly nods as she walks away to the kitchen, still looking completely shaken by what she's said. By referring to him as a dad.
"This is actually kind of nice to see Cap", I scoff.
"What?", He shakes in head in confusion.
"You being freaked out about this whole thing", I give him another scoff. "I'm like having a daily panic attack about it and you've seemed so… calm".
"Believe me, I'm not calm. Especially not after getting called 'dad'", He sighs, his eyes still wide, still rocked by her words.
"Don't worry", I drag out the words, leaning my elbows on the table as I roll my eyes for a second. "You might not even be a dad so don't… don't freak out yet alright?"
I'm of course referring to the fact that I might go the adoption route, in which case me and Cappie could just pretend like this didn't happen and go about our usual life. After these next 7 months are over obviously… And I wouldn't be in greek life anymore which made me sad but… it wasn't really my biggest concern right now honestly.
"Yeah I guess you're right", He nods slowly, seeming to come around after being completely freaked out. He pauses for a moment, but from the look on his face I can tell he's clearly thinking hard about something. "That's why I was honestly… shocked you, you know, told the people here that you're pregnant".
"Well…", I sigh, thinking to myself for a moment. "I think it's mostly just that… we're way out here, where absolutely no one that knows us will ever be".
I scoff slightly, playing with the wrapper from my straw nervously as I explain.
"And I haven't really… said it out loud much. I guess I was just testing it out", I shrug. "Like… I wanted to, for just one night, be a couple, like a real couple, that got pregnant and is happy about it".
I sigh then with a slight scoff, shaking my head.
"I'm insane, I know", I cringe at myself, looking awkwardly to Cappie, who is clearly thinking this over.
"Well, how did you like it?", He shrugs.
"Like what?", I'm confused.
"You said you were testing it out", He explains. "You know, saying it out loud like we're happy about it, having people celebrate it. Having people… you know, think we're a couple doing this together".
I just stare back at him for a moment.
"I… I liked it", I confess, sighing. "Even if I shouldn't… It was nice to, you know, have people be happy for us, to be celebratory. Muriel and the other waitresses here are actually the first people to do that Cap, to congratulate me".
We both laugh slightly at the craziness of that.
"Yeah I know", Cappie scoffs.
"And that's… that's usually how people are treated during a normal pregnancy. You know, if I wasn't 20 years old and it wasn't completely unplanned", I say. "Usually it's... it's this beautiful thing. This thing people are happy and excited to announce, and people are just as happy for them in return. I guess here tonight… at least I got to experience that once".
I give Cappie a shrug, trying not to let on that I'm pretty emotional right now.
"I'm sorry that… that you can't experience a pregnancy like that Casey", He looks truly sad for me now, his hand traveling across the table to rest atop mine.
That was the thing about us. We could fight like no other but at the end of the day it was this… It was the way we cared about each other, knew each other, and were more in tuned with each other than anyone else would likely ever be with me.
Bottom line, he could get on my nerves like absolutely no one I'd ever met, but still… I knew he would do just about anything for me.
"It's fine", I nod, shrugging my shoulders slightly. "It is what it is. Maybe I'll have that later in my life… you know, in ten years when I'm like 30 and married. When I'm married and ready to have a baby".
"Married to someone much different than me I'm sure", He laughs slightly. "So your kid can have different, better genetics".
He doesn't say this cruelly. Rather he says it like a self deprecating joke which just makes it more sad.
"Cappie", I whine his name, giving him a frown. "That's not true at all okay?"
It really wasn't. In fact when I thought about the baby, when I looked at the ultrasound photo, when I thought about what it would look like and what it would be like, the only thing that popped up in my mind was him. And I liked that. That's a big reason why giving it away would be so hard for me.
His face goes serious now as I look across the table at him but before he say anything Muriel is back with our plates.
"Alrighty you two", She puts them down in front of us. "Enjoy!"
"Thanks!", Me and Cappie say in unison and then share a look at the fact that we've sort of reached an awkward moment in our conversation. I'm truly happy the food is here so that we can be distracted by eating and not by our relationship and this baby.
Muriel gives us one last smile and then turns to walk off to go serve the only other people in here.
"Well your pancakes sure look good", He comments to me, probably trying to ease the tension between us. "With blueberries and whipped cream, the way you like them".
He smirks at me now and I feel myself give in with a blush.
"Yeah", I smile and then look down as I spread the butter overtop the stack of them. But I wasn't interested in talking about pancakes right now, even though they looked to die for and I was basically only wanting to eat sugary things lately. No, I was more interested right now in making sure Cappie didn't think that I hated him. "Cap?"
"Yeah?", Cappie nods as he chews on a fry.
"I'm sorry if I insinuated anything, you know, by saying that maybe I could have a happy pregnancy in the future when I'm married and stuff", I say, my tone serious, trying to let him know that I meant this. "I don't… I don't want to treat this pregnancy like this horrible, awful mistake. I know it sort of is, obviously, and I really felt that way for the first little while, felt like it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But now… now I just feel like I shouldn't feel that way completely, I shouldn't be, you know, cursing the fact that this happened to me. The baby, our baby… doesn't deserve that".
Cappie nods up and down, having stopped eating, his brow furrowed as he thinks.
"So uh… you want to try to be happy about this then Case?", He asks, serious too, taking in my words.
"I don't know if I would go that far yet", I sigh, pausing to think about it. "I just think that… this baby didn't choose to be in this situation. And at the end of the day they're just an innocent life in this… even though it's crazy everytime I think of an actual, real baby coming out of me in a few months".
The two of us both scoff, still in disbelief.
"I guess what I need to do is focus on deciding whether or not we keep it when it's born Cap. And if I decide to give the baby up then I'll try to find the best possible couple to be it's parents… and I'll do my absolute best to keep it safe while it's still… in me", I say, Cappie nodding. "And then there's obviously the… other option".
My gaze turns fearful now, nerves arising, as I look at him.
"Us keeping it?", Cappie nods.
"Yeah…", I lock eyes with him. "Obviously that's… our other option, which is scary but it honestly might happen because I have no idea whether I'll actually be able to give her or him up".
I sigh deeply now, using my fork to cut off a piece of pancake.
"Yeah…", Cappie looks at me with a frown, looking pitiful for me. "I would imagine it would be really hard to do… to grow the baby for all those months and then give it up and... never see it again".
I stare down at my plate as I feel tears coming on.
"Shit sorry", Cappie sighs out, looking so regretful when my watery eyes move up to meet his gaze again. "I shouldn't talk about it, I know how hard this is for you because you're… you're the girl and—"
"It's fine Cappie", I wipe at my eye, sniffle, and try and pull myself together. "And I know that it's hard for you too, don't… don't discount that. And obviously we do have to talk about it. Because things happen fast. I mean the last two or three weeks since we found out have completely flown by and in a few days… we'll be able to hear it's heartbeat at the appointment".
I look into his eyes at that last part, trying in any way to see if I can gage whether he was as scared and excited as I was about that fact. Even if I shouldn't be excited.
"Wait really?", His face subtly lights up, his blue eyes shining. "It has a heartbeat that we can hear already?"
"Yeah", I can't help the way the sides of my lips turn into a nervous smile, my dimples showing. "Weird right?"
"Yeah that's insane…", Cappie scoffs and the two of us laugh, I think not knowing what else to do. Then we just look at each other for a moment, and I can tell he wants to say something. I hope to god he does.
I just want the truth from him, want to know how he's feeling. Even if Rusty had already told me that when he had talked to Cappie he had told him that he wants to keep the baby… I could've put that together in my mind already, I didn't need Rusty to tell me. I knew Cappie well enough by now and I knew how he got when he talked about the baby lately. In the first week or so he was like me, petrified and unattached, but lately I've seen the way he lights up a little when we talk about it, about the baby.
So maybe he'd just say it. He'd just say that he wants this. And, honest to god, as crazy as it is, that feels like all it would take right now. All it would take to get me to forget about adoption and just go all in on this with him. To call it our baby and actually mean it.
Say it, I think to myself as I watch him.
"I… I still think you should have some real food Case", He stammers out, his usual smirk on his face now. And I know that it isn't what he wanted to say, that it isn't what was on the tip of his tongue.
He's avoiding saying how he feels because he's trying to respect my decision obviously. And I'd told him that's what I wanted… But I'd expected that in typical Cappie fashion he wouldn't do what I wanted and he'd annoy me instead by doing what he wanted. But the truth was… when he annoyed me lately it actually didn't annoy me much at all. The whole car ride here, him fixing my tire, spending all of last night together… we banter like crazy, like two people who hated each other, who were just putting up with each other because we have to. But that's not the truth of the matter at all, even if I played it that way.
"Fine", I roll my eyes and then give him a giggle.
Fine Cappie, I'll just keep pretending like I'm not growing closer to you every day, that I'm not growing closer to this baby every day. I'll just pretend that I don't know that you do want this with me. That the resident playboy of CRU actually wants a baby with me.
And… sometimes I wanted it to. Wanted to just submit to this life with him, even if we're insanely young and have nothing to offer a baby. Still… right now as he's busy cutting off a piece of his burger for me, I want it.
This whole night had made me want it. Him dropping everything to come help me, him absolutely pissed at the Omega Chi guys for what they did to me, him bringing me back here, to this diner. Not to mention how nice it had felt, how unexpectedly nice, that the women here had congratulated us. They were the first people to actually act like it was something to be happy about.
And I needed that tonight. Even if I didn't know it.
"Thanks", I look up at him with a blush on my cheeks as he passes a piece of his burger and some fries onto the side of my plate.
"Yeah for sure", He nods like it's no big deal.
"Cap?"
"Yeah?", He nods.
"Maybe we could um… get another order of pancakes to take home?", I shrug.
"Yeah", he chuckles at me, popping a fry in his mouth as I dig into the delicious piece of burger. "We can definitely do that".
I give him a shy smile and keep eating, unable to wipe the smile off my face right now.
This is the best time I've had since that second strip turned pink, since the words pregnant came up on the test like a jumpscare.
And it was thanks to Cappie.
I was happy we were doing this again, that we'd hung out again for the first time last night. That I'd let my guard down, that he'd forgone what I'm sure was a rager of a party just to watch a movie he hated with me.
Spending more time with him again though, just these mere two days, made everything more complicated. Made my decision a million times harder.
But maybe I wouldn't think about that tonight.
Maybe I'd just pretend I'm keeping it. That me and Cappie are going to be parents together. That we'd get back together, that he's one hundred percent changed, that we can get past everything that had gotten between us before. That we could get married maybe. Have another baby. Have a house.
I'm sure it was far fetched. Sure it would never happen.
But tonight, here at this diner, outside of Cyprus and far away from the greek system and every other reality in our life, it was real.
And I was going to cherish every second of it.
"Can you believe they gave us a free piece of pie?", I sing song as we walk up the driveway to the KT house, finally home after a long day and evening.
I still cannot believe I was calling the KT house 'home'.
Cappie's carrying the takeout cartons of pancakes and a piece of cherry pie.
"Yeah it does sort of seem like fate doesn't it? It being pie that they gave us to celebrate the baby", He smirks. "Like it's a sign".
"A sign of what?", I laugh as he opens the door for us to go inside.
"Cap!", Beaver rushes up to Cappie like a little kid, interrupting our conversation before Cappie can reply.
"Whoa, whoa", Cappie laughs as Beav excitedly comes up to him, just about knocking the takeout containers out of his hands. "Calm down buddy, what's going on?"
"You were gone forever and we had to do the pledge talent show auditions without you! And Wade and Jeremy broke the pool in the backyard and—", Beaver speaks a mile a minute.
"Don't worry about it Beav", Cappie cuts him off with a laugh. "What about a piece of pie, would that make you feel better?"
Beaver's face immediately goes relaxed, immediately smiling.
"Yeah, actually that would", He grins, nodding up and down excitedly.
"Well it's Casey's congratulatory pie so technically it's hers but—", Cappie starts with a laugh.
"It's fine, I'm full anyways", I giggle. "Go ahead Beaver".
"Yay!", Beaver jumps up like a little kid as Cappie hands it to him, Beaver taking it and running away with it.
"Isn't he gonna need a fork for that?", I scoff.
"Yeah, no", Cappie chuckles. "You underestimate him, he can eat pretty much anything with his bare hands".
"Just like a toddler", I joke.
"Yep", Cap laughs.
He drops the pancakes into the kitchen, putting them in the fridge for me to have tomorrow and then we walk upstairs together.
I don't know why, but seeing Cappie be president and take care of all the guys here was something I was finding to be attractive to me. And it was pretty often he had to take leadership here. It just wasn't a side of him I knew existed. Even if Rusty had told me about it.
"Well I should uh… probably go check out this broken pool situation and see what the guys are up to", Cappie laughs slightly, standing in the doorway while I put my purse down on the bed.
"Okay", I give him a shy smile, him nodding as he moves to turn around, about to close the door with him as he walks out. "Wait!"
I don't even register that the word is out of my mouth until I hear it, I just desperately didn't want him to go like this. To end this night, to go without letting him know what tonight meant to me.
He turns back around, face void of any smirking or joking. I walk up to him and put my arms around him quickly.
I can tell I've completely surprised him with this hug, with the way my head rests right against his chest. The way I don't say anything, just let myself sigh against him instead.
He hugs me back though after a second and then I pull away. I wanted to keep it short. Well, my head wanted me to keep it short… my heart was telling me otherwise. But like usual, I went with my head.
"Thank you for tonight Cap", I tell him as I stare back at him, him looking surprised at what I'd just done.
"Yeah no problem", He nods. "No problem at all. I had fun".
"Yeah me too", I tuck my hair behind my ear shyly. "Well… goodnight".
"Yeah goodnight Case", he smirks a little now. "Sleep good".
"You too", I nod.
He looks me over, his smirk only taking over more of his face now, looking at me sheepishly before giving me one last nod and then turning to leave. He slowly pulls the door shut with him until it's closed.
I sit down on his bed, taking off my cardigan, about to get changed into my pajamas. Unlike most of the guys here, I went to bed fairly early. Even earlier than usual for me lately, I just always seemed to be tired. Definitely a symptom of the first trimester.
I begin to hear noises outside my room, hear a conversation I think. So I walk over, putting my ear against the door, not exactly proud of my nosey ness. But if it involved Cappie I wanted to hear.
"So…", I hear a voice, Heath's voice. I could recognize it. "How'd it go man? Did you make any headway?"
"Well... she called the baby 'our baby' tonight", I hear Cappie say, and I can hear the smile in his voice because I know him so well. "So that's a start".
Heath scoffs then, like what Cappie's said is insane.
"Yeah but… it is your baby… both of yours, so isn't that just common sense? Why is her saying that so special?", Heath sounds confused.
I hear a pause then as Cappie sighs.
"It just is… It's hard to explain it Heath", Cappie struggles with his words. "It's just the small step of her actually acknowledging that it's our baby. I mean, first she didn't want to call it a baby, she wanted to call it a cluster of cells so that we wouldn't get too attached to it. Then she was calling it her baby or the baby because we may still give it up… So her actually acknowledging that I'm a part of this too… well it's pretty big for me".
"That's awesome", Heath says happily. "You know all of us guys are rooting for you Cap. We all know how much you love her. I mean you're practically obsessed with her, have been since all of us have known you. Maybe knocking her up was a blessing in disguise".
The two of them laugh a bit.
"Well I don't know if I'd go that far", Cappie scoffs. "I don't want her to be with me because we ended up getting pregnant and she feels like she has to… I only want to be with her if she really loves me too".
"Yeah I get that. You want it to be real", Heath agrees and then I hear a pause for a moment. "But you think… you think there's a chance that she might?"
"Yeah, I think so. I don't want to be too naive but… there's things I can see in her that make me think that she could love me back, that she's just fighting it because of… my reputation I guess, and who I've been over the past year or so", Cappie sighs in frustration.
"Yeah but you were only getting with those girls because you were desperately trying to fill that void that she left, and because she hurt you. Any of us could see that. And you got with some super hot girls… I mean not that I really notice since I don't look at girls in that way", Heath says and they laugh some more. "But uh… even with a buffet of girls to choose from you still didn't even try to lock anything down, didn't even attempt to start anything up with them".
"That's because there'd be absolutely no point", Cappie states strongly. "They're not going to compare to her, they won't compare to what we had. I mean Heath, I literally got to experience every one of her firsts with her, I just… I felt like she was completely mine. It was the best feeling ever. And then I fucking screwed it up like I screw everything up. And she's so good… and so pure and I don't want to ever hurt her again".
"Then don't", Heath says right away. "Don't Cap. And we all know that you have the ability to do this whole thing with her. To be a dad to your kid and be there for Casey. That's what's most important right now and we all know you can do it. You don't screw everything up. Look at how you've kept this place up and running!"
Cappie scoffs then.
"Well… I guess that's true, they've tried to shut us down a couple times now", Cap comments.
"Yeah and every single time you've figured out a plan to save us. You're savvy and smart and determined as hell Cap. And that's why I know you'll get her back eventually", Heath says seriously. "And I also know that this whole baby thing... well you two will figure out how to do that too. Lots of people become parents at a young age".
"Well thank you Heath but… I don't even know if I'm going to be a dad", Cappie sighs. "It's a really hard decision for her and I know it's killing her every day to have to choose. I'm trying to give her space with it and be as supportive as possible but it's hard for me too because I can't help but…"
"But want it with her? Want the baby, the wedding, the picket fence in the suburbs fantasy?", Heath laughs slightly.
"Well I don't know about all that other girly stuff dude", Cap laughs too. "I've gotta get her to like me again first".
Cappie groans slightly.
"And I don't have a lot of time because she's gotta make a decision about the baby really soon", Cappie says, his tone urgent.
"Well I know if anyone can do it, you can. She dated you once Cap", Heath's being supportive. "And I mean, she's gotta do what's best for her but I can only imagine how hard it would be to grow this little person that's your own flesh and blood in your body for months and months and then give it away like nothing happened".
"That's exactly how I feel… I don't know how the hell I would ever be able to live knowing him or her is out there. This person that's part me and part the girl I'm always going to love. I mean… I'm having a baby with the most perfect girl on earth. And obviously neither of us wanted this at all but… I can't help but be a little stoked about it, that this person is going to exist. That there's this… proof I guess that we loved each other", Cappie scoffs slightly.
"I get it man. Hey, maybe she feels the same way", Heath offers.
"Yeah... I don't really think so but we'll see", Cappie sighs.
"Well you wanna go play some pool and get your mind off it for a bit?", Heath asks.
"You read my mind", Cappie scoffs. "Lets go".
"Sweet", I hear Heath's voice and then their footsteps down the hall.
I can't help but rest my back against the door, feeling like the wind was just knocked out of me. I wasn't exactly prepared to have heard that conversation... but I'm also so happy I did.
As I get some pajama shorts and a tank top on and start to brush my hair in the mirror, I can't help but smile to myself a little bit. Because I did feel the same way. I did. Even if I didn't want to. And even if Cappie never thought I would ever again.
I did think about the baby the same way he did. A way I wouldn't feel if it was anyone else's baby.
Author's Note:
Hi guys! Thanks for reading! I made this a pretty long chapter and I'm excited to write the next one. I've written a few future chapters too! I also have two other Cappie and Casey pregnancy fanfics, so you could check those out too if you like this one.
And thank you typewriter.789 for the sweet review!! It means a lot!