Where I Belong
Yawning, Po stretched as he laid his head into his arms on the kitchen table. The feline glanced over her shoulder. "You don't have to be here, you know."
"I'm still tired from that last fight."
"That was three days ago."
"I'm tired okay?" Po huffed. The striped warrior shook her head before she finally took a sip of her soup. She hummed and closed the lid
"Mm, needs some time to simmer. Now we wait," Tigress murmured.
"I still can't believe you're cooking so much," Po smirked as the tiger sat down across the table. "I know you wanted to get better at Kung fu, but why... cook?"
"I like it. It's a nice... well... when I do it here it's a relaxing activity."
"What do you mean?"
Tigress grumbled, crossing her arms. "Mr. Ping can be... a bit-"
"Much."
"I don't mean to be rude."
"Nah, I get it. I've lived with him for a while. I love him, but I'm not as crazy about food as he is."
Tigress grinned widely. "Your appetite would say different."
"Hey! That's a low blow with the gut," Po pouted, holding his belly that pressed against the barrack's kitchen table. "Besides, you guys had no problem with it when you were tuckered out after the Wang raiders. Half of you were sleeping on it. I'm plush and chubby!"
Tigress shook her head with a small smile, "Why don't you go on a diet?"
"Because... I like to eat! Is that such a crime?"
"I didn't mean to be mean, Po."
"Hmph," The panda huffed, crossing his arms. Smirking, the tiger shook her head and stared at the simmering pot. Several things went through her head at that time. Cooking gave her mind a break from all the Kung Fu strategies and worries she had. Her brain could spread out on other things. She thought about Tai Lung grumbling to her about Monkey's new budding love. Neither feline really knew where Monkey was taking this relationship, but he seemed happy. But Tai Lung didn't enjoy the simian taking him and/or Crane to see Meiyang all the time. She thought about Viper. The snake seemed to take training more seriously, or at least trained more often. Striking and hitting her targets with debilitating precision, Tigress couldn't help but wonder if Viper's time in the Training Hall was more vengeful than betterment. She would have to check on her serpentine friend later.
She didn't know what Mantis was up to. Something about talking with Master Shifu about containing his big personality.*
Then Tigress's mind picked up something she meant to ask the large panda. She turned her head and stared Po straight in the eye. The panda, munching on some snacks, noticed the change in the air and saw the tiger pensively staring at him. He swallowed loudly. "Wh-What?"
"Po, you and Song? Are you two friends?"
He sighed, "Tigress, we're just friends. I don't have a crush on her or anything. I promise she won't pull the wool over my eyes. Huh, can sheep do that?"
"Were you... did you ever want to be more than friends?"
Po lifted his eyebrow. "No."
"So you never had a crush on her."
"No."
"What about Lu-Shi?"
"The goat girl that... oh what's his face... Junjie used to make me give up the title? What about her?"
"Did you like her romantically?" Tigress asked.
"I... uhhh I never... really did," Po replied. "Why are you asking all these questions? You're not this-" The panda paused as his face fell. "Did Tai Lung put you up to this?"
Tigress held a snicker in. "What makes you think it's Tai Lung?"
"He's gotten really curious about me. And I've noticed he gets you to do some of the dirty work."
"Like what?"
"I don't know, but when you were having your Kung fu stagnation, he'd ask me to ask you what's wrong."
Tigress rose her eyebrow. She didn't realize the snowcat knew how she and Po worked. "Well, yes and no. When we saved the pandas from the raiders, Mei Mei said something interesting about you."
"Which is?"
"Are you romantically attracted to anyone?"
Po squinted up his face in confusion. "What does that mean?"
Tigress took a sigh. How could she, the one who had a hard time showing emotions, tell him this? "The way that... Crane, Monkey, and Master Shifu act when they're in love. We... I... have never seen you do that. And you're around a lot of women that are... interested in you."
Po smirked, "You sound jeal-"
"Don't you dare panda," The tiger growled before taking a breath. "The point is we don't know what it looks like when you're in love."
"What do you mean? I love Kung Fu, I love to eat-"
"And yet," Tigress interrupted, "The way you love Kung Fu and eating isn't the way you show any PERSON. Have you... ever had a crush on anyone?"
"Of course."
"That you wanted to be in a personal long-term... intimately involved relationship with," Tigress clarified. Po opened his mouth only to slowly close it. He thought at the ceiling for a moment before scratching his head.
"Huh. Now that you mention it... I... don't. I mean, with Song, Lu Shi and other girls, I usually just like being their friends. But wait. Isn't my geeky stuff a kind of, you know... attraction?"
"No. That's obsession. And you've never been obsessed about someone, you've been obsessed with what they can do. Like Kung Fu."
"Huh, never thought about that."
"What about Mistress Yun's girls? Did you find... any of them attractive?"
Po scoffed, "Of course!"
The tiger wasn't satisfied. The panda tended to have an innocent ignorance. "Let me rephrase that. Did you want... any kind of...physical relationship with them?"
"Oh," Po said heavily. He scratched the back of his head. "Uhhh... Well um... Kinda."
"Really?"
"It's a brothel, Tigress, and I was a teenager. It's not like I wouldn't have... you know... urges."
"Yes, but-"
"Why did you ask that?"
"I... I wanted to clarify. I was referring to... sexual attraction."
"I know," Po chuckled lightly, "Why are you acting like I'm this naive innocent bear?"
"Because I don't know what you know or what you don't."
"I know about sex, Tigress."
"And yet you didn't know that your own adoptive father could fly," the tiger smirked.
"Hey! I've never seen him fly in my life. I know birds can fly. I just never saw HIM fly!"
The feline rolled her eyes with a smirk but resettled on Po. "Which reminds me there's something serious that I need to tell you."
"What's that?"
Tigress took a deep breath and looked straight into Po's eyes. "I... am adopted by Master Shifu." Po blinked once. Then another. He leaned towards her with a fallen, deadpanned look. "I know it's hard to believe but... since you had to learn that Mr. Ping was your adopted father, I... I just wanted to let you know." Po could see the break in her straight lips. Her poker face was cracking.
"Say it with a straight face, Tigress. Say it with a straight face!" Po called out. The tiger let out a rare snort and laugh, looking away to retain some semblance of her failing composure. "Yeah yeah. I knew he wasn't my dad. I just... didn't know how I got there!"
"I'm sorry, but I... just wanted you to know."
"No, you just wanted to tease me," Po smirked.
Tigress's soft chuckle died down, "But back to the original question. Did you ever... like any of the women you've been around...as a potential other?"
The bear said nothing. His eyes held a slight sadness Tigress wasn't prepared for. He stood up and sighed, turning his back towards her. He sagged his shoulders as he said, "Before... Mei Mei, I thought women would never be interested in me. I'm not always dense, but I don't trust that they'll really like me. Before the whole Dragon Warrior thing, I figured people wouldn't really like me back because... I was me. Things just got more complicated when I became Dragon Warrior."
"So... you do or did have feelings for these women, but you'd dismiss them because you thought they wouldn't be interested in a panda?"
"Because I thought they wouldn't be interested in me," Po clarified. "So I just... treated them like a friend. Much easier not to get hurt that way." He sat back down and sighed. "Over time, I just figured that no woman would want to be more than friends with me. So I just treated everyone as my friend."
"But what about your feelings? Your romantic interests?"
Po waved the question away, "Feelings come and go and most of those 'crush' feelings go away after a while. Besides, they go away in record time now that I'm the Dragon Warrior." The panda shrugged. "I guess I've just gotten good at letting them go because I know they won't go anywhere."
Tigress was speechless. Though she knew her emotional difficulty was apparent to anyone, she never thought Po would suppress such an emotion. Especially since he was the kind of person to show emotions so easily. She turned to the window where the sight of the blossoming Peach Tree filled her vision, making her sigh.
Then again, there were a lot of emotions and thoughts that Po didn't talk about.
"You said before Mei Mei," Tigress continued.
Po chuckled softly, "I was... really, really uncomfortable with how Mei Mei and I first met. She was obviously flirting with me but it was... weird. It's just... most women are so subtle with their flirting that I can't tell if they're being kind or waving their handkerchiefs. And even then, I don't know if they're doing it for fun, for a date, or in my case, to lower my guard to attack. But Mei Mei didn't fit those slots. It was very, very obvious that she was interested in me."
"But why was that uncomfortable?"
Po shrugged, "When you're not used to being loved in a certain way, you don't know how to react." Tigress nodded. She could easily remember the time Po hugged her for the first time. "It just made me realize that people CAN be interested in me for... me. The problem was... I don't know if or how to return it. I've pushed those feelings down so much that it feels like I can only get them through-"
"Your love of Kung Fu and food," Tigress finished. The panda sighed and lowered his head. "Po, I'm... I don't know what to say. I didn't know you struggled with that. Seems to be a theme recently." She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. "Where is all of this coming from?"
"What?"
"I... With Tai Lung, I've realized that part of my developmental issues stemmed from Master Shifu, but I can't imagine Mr. Ping majorly contributing to this."
"He didn't," Po sighed. "I guess I just thought my life wasn't really worth it. It wasn't the way I wanted it to be. People called me names, but I just didn't like being... Me in a crowd of people who all... belonged. The pigs, ducks, geese, goats, sheep, bunnies, gazelles. They could be themselves and belong but for me... I have to duck my head or suck in my gut just to get into some houses. I thought it would be a little easier living with the pandas, but... I didn't feel like I was 'panda' enough. Because I felt like no one could love me for being me, I figured people were either... 'tease flirting' with me or I was just mistaking their intentions. It didn't help that most times I was right. Over time, I got used to the idea that I would be alone in the love department. That's why I try to make friends. They're usually easier to get."
Tigress bowed her head, "I'm a terrible friend."
"No, you're not, Tigress," Po smiled, "I told you. I don't know everything about you and you don't know everything about me. But I still like being your friend. Besides, I... never really knew all of this stuff about myself until you asked me... so... thanks."
"What will you do now?"
Po shrugged. "Nothing different. But I guess I'll try not to push away the feelings I have this time. That part's going to be difficult. I really don't want to get hurt."
"Don't worry," Tigress smiled as she rose up from her seat to check the pot. "I'll be there for you to give you more... perspective. And to make sure you don't do anything stupid... again."
"Heh, heh, thanks Tigress. Is the soup ready?"
"Almost," She said, sniffing the pot.
"Maybe I should take a sip," The panda snuck up to the pot only to get his hand whacked by the woman's ladle. "OWW! HEY!"
"No touching," She said sternly. "It's not ready, understand?"
"Hmmph, you're acting too much like my dad."
Tigress smirked and continued to stir the pot.
Continued...
*A/N: It's time I confess something. I have no idea how to use Mantis. Like every other character I can use and rearrange or give some more backstory, but... this little guy I've got nothing. He has a loud-mouth brash personality. Maybe I'm oversimplifying him? I don't know, what do you think? What kind of personality does Mantis give you?