Milo is a nice man. He's attractive, gay, and Lester's younger brother. I suspect he's dating Hector, which explains his constant presence at Rangeman. After a few weeks of sessions three times a week, Milo has me realizing essential things about myself. I'm seeking approval from everyone when I should find it from deep within and take pride in what I can accomplish. In some aspects, I already do that with work, but not in my personal life.
I'm in love with Zachary. It's a feeling I never experienced with anyone else. I want to spend my life with Zack, but that isn't the problem because God knows I want to have a life with him and Tyler. Zack didn't know about the social worker assessing us until minutes before I came to Miami. The social worker thinks that living with Tyler when the child didn't know me wasn't good for his mental health. Zack thought having Ranger deliver the news would lessen the blow. Ranger's having enough issues watching me in a relationship with one of his men, and having him relay messages isn't helping. I want Zack to tell me these things. He needs to discuss anything which affects our relationship with me.
Raising Tyler as our child makes me second-guess my capabilities of becoming his mother. I'm nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing with Tyler, who has been through so much already. I don't want to add to his trauma by forcing myself into his life when I'm not ready. The social worker's concerns have me evaluating what I want. I need Milo to help address each issue and give me tools to navigate my role as Tyler's mother figure. Though I'm not yet living with Zack, I spend most of my free time with him and Tyler. Zack and I have been in a committed relationship for the past eight months, and Tyler comes with the package.
When Milo hears my concerns about raising Tyler, he states it's because my mom's constant criticism affects how I see myself. After some deep reflection, I realize he's right. I'm working on all my relationships. The sessions with Milo prepare me to live with Zack and Tyler, accepting the vetting and questions from the social worker. Tyler's an easy child to love. Milo says it's my acceptance of having the boy in my life that's making it easy.
My relationship with Mom is improving, and with Milo's guidance, I can talk to her and move past the damage she unknowingly inflicted. It helps to know she feels horrible for making me feel less than adequate. Mom blames herself for why I didn't want children despite my saying it isn't entirely true. Part of me doesn't want the responsibility of nurturing and guiding an innocent life to become a respectful, polite, kind, and loving adult.
Since I'm working on piecing the bits of me back together, Milo recommends Zack and I discuss our hopes and dreams for the future. Milo knows about the six embryos I have frozen at the fertility clinic. He thinks Zack and I should wait until Tyler feels comfortable before adding another child to our relationship, addressing another issue of providing a loving home as a committed couple. It's time to live with Zack and Tyler.
The social worker, Lima Santiago, and I hit it off at our first meeting. She's an overworked woman who searches for loving families for children in her case files. Lima drops by for unscheduled visits. During every subsequent visit, she sees Tyler laughing and having fun. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop; that something I say or do will make the boy run. Lima says Zack and I are ideal candidates to adopt Tyler. It's a boost to my ego. In all honesty, Tyler is filling in the holes and gluing the bits together. I can't see my life without the adorable child.
We're fortunate when Brady pleads guilty to all crimes and relinquishes his paternal rights. He wants Tyler to have everything his parents never gave him as a child. Brady thinks having Tyler live in a loving and nurturing home will hopefully break the chain of abuse from previous generations. At least, that's what he told his lawyer. Brady is serving a life sentence for murder and doesn't want Tyler to know his biological father is a criminal. Zack and I will decide when and if Tyler needs to know. With the dissolution documents, Zack and I can adopt Tyler.
During a session with Milo, he asks, "What are your birthday plans?"
"Is it my birthday already?" I gasp, checking my watch for the date.
Milo finds my reaction funny, but something in his eyes betrays his hidden concern. Testing my mood, Milo says, "It is, and Tyler's third birthday is five days later, on the seventeenth." The date hits me hard, and I start crying. It's the first anniversary of Grandma's death and the reason I'm not excited about celebrating my birthday. "Does that date have a significance?"
"Yes," I tearfully whisper. "It's the day Grandma Edna died." I angrily wipe away the tears because crying won't make it better.
Milo touches my arm and passes me the box of facial tissues. I pull a few from the box, wiping my eyes and nose. I'm not a pretty crier. "Every first milestone is difficult. Allow the emotions to happen. Cry if that's what you need to do. It's healthy to express your sadness from losing your grandmother," Milo says.
"It comes in waves. Even Tyler doesn't get this emotional when he misses his mom," I reply.
"Children are resilient. It helps to have loving parental figures and surrogate uncles to keep them occupied," Milo kindly says. "Eventually, Tyler will forget about his mom and see you in that role."
"I don't want him to forget his parents," I reply. "Zack and I want him to understand his mother did everything possible to protect him."
"You can do that and still be his mother," Milo says while watching me play with the simple band containing a blue diamond on my finger. "Is that new?"
I glance at my ring and smile. Milo is changing the subject, and I find it relieving. "Tyler helped Zack pick out the ring last week. Lima says the courts would fast-track the adoption if Zack and I get married. It's something we wanted to do before using our embryos. The proposal wasn't what I imagined. Zack is a romantic man, and the proposal was anything but," I reply.
Milo leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I hear the amusement as he asks, "How did Zack propose?" I look at the floor as I tuck my legs beneath me, smoothing the wrinkles in my cargo pants before raising my head to catch his gaze.
"I was reading Tyler a story, 'I Love You To The Moon And Back.' When I closed the book, he asked if I loved Uncle-Dad Zack to the moon and back. I told him that I did. Tyler said Zack loved me to the moon and back. Then, he asked if I could be his Aunt-Mom Stephie," I reply, laughing at the events from last night.
"What did you say?"
Laughing, I reply, "I told Tyler that Uncle Zack Dad has to propose first. Tyler jumps out of bed with more energy than I had at that moment. He drags Zack into the bedroom and demands, 'Give Aunt Mom the ring.' Of course, it sounded like he said wing and I was momentarily confused. Zack exhaled a deep breath and proposed. As I said, it wasn't romantic."
Milo grins and says, "I disagree. It's romantic for Tyler. The secret was more than he could handle."
"Let me clarify. It wasn't romantic for Zack. I think he wanted to propose on Thanksgiving Day while my family is here," I reply.
"Was it romantic for you?"
"It was perfect," I say, exhaling heavily. "Do you think it's too soon to get married?"
"Stephanie, marriage was the farthest thing in your mind when I met you. Now, you're planning a wedding and adopting a child. You have embryos ready for use. My opinion doesn't matter. Everything you're doing brings you closer to having the life you imagined. How's your relationship with your mom and sister?"
"Improving every day," I reply. "Mom doesn't know about the engagement. I want to keep it to myself for a few days."
"Are you going home for the anniversary?" Milo asks, feeling it's safe to mention Grandma's death.
"Yes. Zack and I are taking Tyler with us. I hope it isn't too overwhelming for him, but we can't leave him behind. I'm afraid he'll regress and start wetting the bed again. He just stopped a few weeks ago," I reply. "Lester and Hector are travelling with us. Since Tyler's comfortable with you, are you interested in accompanying us?"
"I have other obligations," Milo replies, glancing at his watch. I notice our time is nearly up. Other people are meeting with him today, and I have things to do. "When you travel with Tyler, make sure you have his favourite toy, book and clothes."
"Thanks for the advice. I'll tell Zack. He'll appreciate the help," I say.
I take the elevator to the fifth floor, where Ranger awaits my arrival. "Mariela wants to meet you," Ranger announces.
"Why? Have the guys been telling stories about me?"
"No. Mariela read the back issues of the Trenton Times," Ranger answers, earning a groan.
"And why did she do that?" I snap.
"She met a few officers while eating lunch at Pino's."
"Oh joy," I sarcastically reply. "Hey, I was wondering about something."
Ranger raises a brow and motions toward his office when the elevator doors open. Some of the guys wave as we walk past them. I'm polite and finger-wave back. The men quickly return to work when Ranger glares at them. I follow Ranger into his office. He waves a hand at the chairs opposite his at the desk. Ranger closes the door when I sit closest to the window with a fantastic view of the water in the distance. I'm glad my office is on the opposite side of the building. That view will distract me too much.
"Babe?" Ranger asks, opting to sit beside me instead of behind his desk.
I turn the chair to face him. "When I planned to move here, you mentioned Mariela has the same job as me, but in Miami. I thought I was the only woman outside the housekeepers working at Rangeman."
Smiling, Ranger explains, "The clients in Trenton responded well to having a female on staff, especially for our home security department. We ran into similar issues in the Miami and Boston branches. Tank's solution was to hire a female to assist with those accounts." Ranger leans back in his chair and crosses his right ankle over his left knee. It isn't one of Ranger's typical poses, but I like how it relaxes him.
"So you hired your sister in Miami," I say, hoping I understood.
"Tank hired Mariela and my cousin, Sonia, in Boston," Ranger replies, quickly correcting my assumption. "Both are married to the branch managers and were hired several weeks before I completed my mission." He drops his foot and leans forward to grab my hands, fidgeting with the pockets on my cargo pants.
"Keeping it in the family?" I tease while squeezing his hands.
Ranger chuckles. "Sonia and Mariela only manage client accounts. They only work fifteen to twenty hours a week. You work closer to fifty hours. I didn't hire them sooner because it puts them in a precarious position. The men might think they're in the company to spy and report back to me, or I only gave them a job when another candidate was more qualified. I was also afraid they would tell my parents details about me."
"Ah…the old 'keeping the family at a safe distance' thing you've got going on," I laugh. "Well, have they?"
"No," he replies. "Their husbands served with me in the army. They understand we have seen and done things we can't share."
Ranger rubs his thumb over my engagement ring. I watch his face for signs of distress over my pending marriage to Zack. "He proposed last night," I say when Ranger looks into my eyes. "Hey, why are you sad?"
"Babe, you make me want things I can't have. I'm happy you're marrying Zip. He's a good man and will give you the life I cannot provide. I wish things were different so that I could be the man you marry. My past is too dark and dangerous to taint your pure soul," he replies. Ranger moves one hand to cup my cheek and the other to hold my hand over his heart. "I've taken enough bits of your heart and soul by interfering in your relationship with Morelli. You will always have a place in my heart. There is only one Babe. No other woman will ever compare."
A few tears slip from my eyes. Ranger brushes them away with his thumb. "You deserve to be loved," I whisper. "One day, you'll find the perfect woman for you."
"I already have and let her slip away because I couldn't tell her anything about myself."
"It's never too late," I say.
"I'm content being your best friend. Maybe someday in the distant future, the stars will align, and we can be together," he replies, resting his forehead against mine.
"In our next lifetime," I whisper. "You will always be important to me in this life."
We sit with our foreheads pressed together for a few more minutes. Ranger opens his eyes when he senses me looking in his. He leans back and releases my hands. "Babe, do you promise not to get mad?"
"You know I can't," I jokingly reply. "What did you do?"
His lip curls in a crooked smile as he stands. Ranger walks around his desk to access the safe behind the scenic painting on the wall. I watch him swing the painting forward and unlock the safe using a code and his thumbprint. He reaches inside for a legal-sized envelope. Surprisingly, he doesn't close the safe, leaving it open for me to see the other documents inside it. Ranger encourages me to open the envelope.
I gasp as I pull the deed for the safe house from it. "Ranger, it's too much. I can't accept this," I say. "You can't give me a house worth millions."
"Happy birthday," Ranger says, grinning. "I just need your signature at the bottom."
"No," I reply.
"If you don't sign it, I'll forge your signature," he threatens without heat. We stare each other down. "I bought that house with you in mind."
"No," I repeat. "You can't gift me a house for my birthday."
"Then accept it as a wedding gift." I cross my arms and wait for him to change his mind. I inhale a deep breath and slowly release it to stop my rhino mode from engaging. "Please," he says.
"Fine," I snap and sign the deed.