Summary:

For some reason Penny's friends think she's dating Sheldon. That's just crazy...right?

Notes:

I didn't realize that It has been almost a year since I first wrote this idea down. It's complete and I'll post it, but it will probably take me a couple of weeks to do that. This is for Sasusc, whose one comment birthed this Universe in my mind.

"Penny, this is unacceptable. You are an integral part of my team and-" Sheldon had a funny way of begging. As in he didn't, he demanded.

"No Sheldon."

"But Penny…"

Penny raised an eyebrow and motioned with her head to the other four girls sitting around her coffee table.

"I have company Moonpie, I can't and I won't leave them to go play Halo with you." Penny shook her head and tried to smother the smile that wanted to break through. "You can play with Raj."

"Koothrappali will be a lackluster replacement for you but since you have company it will have to do. Ladies." Sheldon nodded at the group and left to go back to 4A.

Penny finally smiled a little as she closed the door and then moved to sit back down between Dani and Erica on her couch.

"Okay, you guys are too cute." Dani pretended to gag. "You're there flirting right in front of us with your boy toy and I just got dumped. Life sucks." She took a long drink of her wine glass.

Penny froze as her brain tried to make sense of what she just heard.

"I know!" The other girls said in unison before Erica slapped Penny's leg and laughed as she said. "We're just teasing. You're still in that honeymoon phase so it's fine." She sighed fondly. "I still remember when Brian and I were like that."

"Oh god no, you guys were waaaaaay worse." Toni groaned. "I'm so happy we're no longer roommates because I was this close to killing you both." Toni squinted and pressed two fingers together.

Carly laughed and nodded. "Yep, yep. At least Penny still complains about her boyfriend, but you still think the sun shines out of Brian's ass."

Erica gasped in disbelief before laughing along with the rest. Penny was still trying to restart her brain.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait." She interrupted the still laughing girls. "I'm not dating Sheldon."

Silence before Erica busted out laughing followed by the others. "Good one Pen."

"I almost believed you." Carly downed the rest of her glass and moved to serve herself another.

"Honestly. And I say this from the bottom of my heart. Fuck you." Dani was also doing her best to down her glass of wine.

Toni just gave her the middle finger while drinking out of her own glass.

"No, no. Guys, I'm serious. We're not dating."

Erica frowned and shared a look with the others. "Penny…you told us that you had started dating your neighbor." She said it slowly as if Penny had hurt her head.

The rest nodded.

"Yes! But not Sheldon! I'm dating Leonard!" Penny felt as if she was taking crazy pills.

A blank look on everyone's face and Penny felt some dread in her stomach.

"Who?" Carly said finally after frowning in thought.

"Sheldon's roommate…you know, the guy from the Halloween party." She told them.

A look was shared between the girls before Erica asked. "Kind of cute Indian guy?"

"That's Raj."

Dani raised her hand as if they were in class. "Oh, oh, oh! I know, the guy that was wearing the kid's sized robin hood costume!"

"Ew, hell no. That's Howard."

Carly frowned in thought before shrugging. "No idea then."

"No, no wait, I think I remember him." Dani said. "Even shorter guy with glasses?" She waited until Penny nodded in confirmation. "Yay, an even shorter guy with glasses and he was dressed as…a forest fairy? No, as a…I don't know man, he was dressed as something green."

"Yeah, he was a hobbit." At the blank look she tried to explain. "It's from The Lord of the…you know, it doesn't matter. But yes, that's Leonard."

"Huh." Erica said and shared a loaded look with the other girls. "That's nice…"

Penny knew that tone and look, she had used it herself more than once. "What? C'mon, it's obvious you have something to say." Penny didn't want to be a bitch but her relationship with Leonard was still only a month old and she felt like she needed to defend it.

"Look Pen, forget it. We were just surprised, now, tell us about that new audition you have coming up." Dani always acted like the older sister of the group.

"No, no, no, I saw the look. Tell me." For some reason Penny couldn't let bygones be bygones.

Carly being drunker than anyone else easily took the bait. "Well…how come you don't talk about him then?" She pointed with her glass at Penny and sloshed some wine on her sleeve.

"What? I talk about him. Right?" Penny asked more to herself than to the girls.

"Okay, since we're airing this now for some reason." Erica started. "You can't blame us for assuming it was tall and crazy who you were shacking up with. Hell, this week you told me that you couldn't go shopping with me because you had to take Sheldon to the mall to buy underwear. And I quote 'No adult man should still wear tighty whities.' What was I supposed to think?" Erica's face was confused.

"I…it's not like that…" Penny tried to defend herself but she wasn't sure how. "We're just friends."

"Friends don't see each other in their underwear." Erica raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, and you don't go dancing as often with us! It's always 'Sheldon this' and 'Sheldon that'." Toni picked up the thread.

"..." Penny had nothing to say to that.

"Okay Hon, I don't want to pile on you but, remember that Superbowl party you threw? Sheldon was the only one of the guys there that could talk Football." Erica continued. "I mean, did you know that Sheldon is running a Fantasy Football League game for Brian and the rest?"

That finally made Penny react. "Wait, what? He's what?"

"Yeah. I thought you knew?"

"No, I had no idea."

"Huh, well anyway, the point is. Sheldon was the only one that tried to fit in with the others."

"No he didn't. He just wanted to prove Brian wrong."

"The point is. I thought he was the obvious choice. He makes you crazy, you have your little flirting or teasing whatever thing that is. Every single conversation that we have, his name comes up for some reason."

"Wait, what Superbowl party?" Carly was fairly drunk now.

"You were with that Puerto-Rican guy and couldn't make it." Toni reminded her.

"...oh!, yeah, I remember now. Diego was a sweetheart. I should call him." Carly said wistfully.

"Anyway." Erica said. "You see now?"

"Holy crap on a cracker…"

"I think she's seeing it now." Dani said helpfully.

Soon the conversation moved to other topics but that night once she went to bed, the conversation would replay over and over in her head.

"Now what?" She said to her empty room.