Summary:

Sheldon and Penny go to his Arctic Gala.

Penny knew that her dress looked fine and had no wrinkles but she still smoothed it out anyway. Sheldon only glanced at her in confusion before offering her his arm. She smiled up at him and took it.

He looked really handsome in the black suit she had somehow managed to convince him to get. The plaid monstrosity he dared call a suit was tucked all the way back in his closet now.

"What do I do if someone asks me a sciency question?" She asked him nervously.

"What? Penny, no one will test you."

"Are you sure?"

"As much as I dislike to admit it, these dinners are not all about science. Half of the people in attendance are donors and their spouses, regular people."

She somehow doubted it but instead of answering she focused on taking deep breaths, they were almost at the entrance and she was preparing herself in the same way as if this was an audition.

This was a dinner to celebrate and present Sheldon's team for the Arctic expedition. Sheldon had wanted to avoid it altogether but she insisted that he should come and because of her big mouth here she was next to him.

"So why didn't you choose to take Raj and Howard with you?" She asked when the silence became too much.

"Penny, this is an expedition that could change the future of Physics. While initially I had considered that approach, after seeing your own renewed efforts towards furthering your acting career, it inspired me to take a similar path. My team will consist of three other world class Physicists. This privilege should only be shared with those that deserve it." Penny fought to close her mouth, she had rarely heard Sheldon be so passionate about anything. She also felt her face warm at the idea that she had inspired him.

Penny smiled up at him and Sheldon hesitantly returned it.

Yeah, this was going to be a good night.

Her and her big mouth…

"Penny?"

"..." She ignored him as she drove them home after the event.

"I suspect that you're upset about something."

Penny gripped the steering wheel harder and looked ahead at the road. The night had started nice enough, her fears had been unfounded, people were lovely and she got butterflies in her stomach every time Sheldon introduced her as his girlfriend.

And then the expedition team had been introduced. Penny sucked on her teeth and in the corner of her eye she saw as Sheldon jumped a little.

Three other world class Physicists. All women. All hot.

Victoria Colquhoun, Welsh, redhead and so top heavy that Penny was surprised she didn't have her own gravity field. 'Oh hey! I learned something after all.' She thought bitterly. Penny knew that she was being unfair but c'mon, it was unfair how hot the redhead was.

Sidney Tran, American, blonde from the Midwest and Penny kinda hated how similar their upbringings had been. She was closer to thirty than Penny but that didn't make her any less beautiful.

Lin Li-Hui, Taiwanese, her skin was spotless and even among the other two women, she stood out by how freaking gorgeous she was. Hell, she looked amazing for someone supposedly in their late forties.

"Can you tell me again what the plan is if the power goes out?" She finally said after ignoring Sheldon.

"Well, it's a contingency plan but should that occur then we will need to-" Penny didn't let him finish.

"If that were to happen, you all would have to get naked and snuggle into a single sleeping bag right? I read the plans." Her voice raised a little at the end and she still refused to turn to look at him.

"That's a rather succinct way to put it. Yes, that would have to be the correct course of action."

Penny hummed and nodded.

"I'm going too." She said after a moment.

"Excuse me? Going? Wait, to the Arctic?" Sheldon made the connection rather quickly.

"Yes."

Sheldon opened his mouth before closing it and frowning in thought. "I suppose it can be done." His eyes moved, reading some information only he could see. "The accommodations are for up to eight people so your presence would not create a disturbance, we still have time to increase food rations and-"

Penny sighed, of course he would just roll with it.

"No, no, no. Don't make new plans. I'm just…" She let out a breath in lieu of explaining.

"You're just?" And he didn't get it.

"I'm jealous, okay!" She refused to turn to look at him.

"Jealous." Sheldon said the word as if he was tasting it for the first time. "Why?"

Penny's eyes stinged, she knew he didn't mean to make it sound like she was crazy but in her current emotional state she could only see it that way.

"Because I love you! You big goof!" She raised her voice and swiped at her eye. The words leaving her mouth on their own.

"Penny! Perhaps you should park until your emotional state has returned to normal." He said nervously.

She sniffed and nodded, they were pretty close to a gas station anyway.

This was another reason she loved their new apartment, she no longer had to go out of her way to get gas. As soon as she parked in front of the pump she left the car. Her anger and jealousy now turning into shame, she didn't want Sheldon looking at her at that moment.

"Wait." Sheldon's voice was enough to make her body stop. She sniffed again and refused to look up. There she was in a gorgeous dress and crying in the middle of a gas station, what a sight she must make. "Wait."

She heard him get out of her car and make his way over to her. She could only see his shiny shoes and nice pants. She swiped uselessly at her eyes. This wasn't a nice way to cry, no, it made her feel congested, both physically and emotionally.

"I don't understand." Sheldon's voice shook a little. "Penny, please."

"I'm scared that you won't want to be with me." Her voice was low and she kept sniffing every few moments. "Those women are beautiful and they can talk science and they're as successful as you are." She shrugged petulantly.

Sheldon came closer to her and she stepped back until her back was on the door of the car. It didn't stop Sheldon, he moved until he was right in front of her. She saw as his left arm raised and went to lean against her car door.

With anyone else she would have felt trapped, but not with Sheldon.

His right hand touched her wet cheek and she closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. "I don't want anyone else." His voice was strong and confident.

Biting her lip she opened her eyes and looked up at his face. Not a single twitch showed. Her eyes searched for any hint of a lie but she already knew she wasn't going to find any. Her mouth trembled, the shame getting to be too much.

"And I feel I should point out that no one is as successful as I am." Sheldon said while looking her in the eye.

She couldn't help it, she laughed. Here she was baring her heart to him and he had to make sure she knew no one was as good as him at Physics.

Penny let her head fall against his chest, feeling exhausted. No, Sheldon would not cheat on her. "I'm sorry. I thought I had worked the whole Kurt thing off but I guess ignoring it's not the same thing." Her arms went around him and she pulled him even closer to her.

"Brian has mentioned that trauma affects us in more ways than we're ever aware."

"Did you know Brian was studying Psychology?" She turned so her cheek was on his chest.

"I suspected as much."

Penny hummed in what she hoped sounded as agreement.

"Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have Purell in your car?"

Penny laughed again.

"No, but you can go in and buy one of those travel bottles plus telling the guy to put twenty on pump…" She finally looked up to see where she had parked. "Pump Five."

"Very well." Sheldon started to move away from her.

"But first." And she pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

She was glad that Sheldon had gotten used to kissing. He really seemed to like it whenever she nibbled on his lip, she moaned into the kiss and moved the hand on her hip lower. Thankfully Sheldon got the hint and he squeezed her ass through the thin fabric of her dress.

Penny raised her leg and wrapped it around Sheldon, pulling him closer to her once again.

She smiled into the kiss once she felt his arousal, rubbing her hips against his in a very deliberate manner. Her efforts were rewarded with an even harder squeeze and Sheldon's groan of pleasure.

She wasn't sure how long they kept kissing for but it couldn't have been for that long.

In the back of her mind she was aware of an annoying noise that kept increasing in volume but she ignored it in favor of more Sheldon time.

Unfortunately the noise wouldn't go away so very reluctantly she separated from Sheldon, took two deep breaths and turned towards the noise. "What?!"

"Ummm hi?"

Penny blinked a couple of times. "Leonard?"

"Uh, yeah. I kept trying to get your attention guys but you were…" Leonard made a motion with his hand that she didn't recognize.

"Yeah, we were. Thank you for interrupting us by the way." The sarcasm was so heavy that even Sheldon should have gotten it.

"Leonard. If you excuse me I need to go pay for the gas and to obtain a bottle of Purell." Sheldon nodded at Leonard and in a move that made her smile like a loon, gave her a peck before walking towards the store.

"So…you and Sheldon huh?" Leonard shuffled on his feet.

"Yep." She popped the word.

"I was thinking, if you don't mind of course, that maybe, we could start being friends again?" Leonard was really nervous, grabbing at his hands and rubbing at the back of his head.

Penny wanted to sigh, either he thought she was stupid or he really thought he was that smart.

"Friends that bang each other?" She asked and there it was, he smiled before he hid it behind a facade of shock. "You're really something else Leonard. You know that?" She put her hands on her hips and didn't miss his eyes roaming her figure. "You have bigger issues than you think."

"Penny-"

"No, I don't care. Look, I'm happy with Sheldon. I think it's obvious for everyone what your true intentions are so let me put a stop to that right here. I don't want to date you, I don't want to fuck you, I don't want to be your friend."

"No Penny. I only wanted…" He trailed off and she didn't speak, she only moved her head closer and twisted it to show him her ear to show she was listening intently. "Why couldn't it have been me?" He asked softly.

This time Penny sighed out loud.

"You have issues Leonard."

Sheldon's footsteps made them both look. "The pump is ready."

"Thank you Honey." Penny moved to start pumping gas into her car. "Leonard was just saying goodbye.

"Oh! Goodbye Leonard." Sheldon said pleasantly.

"Uh, yeah. Bye guys. I'll guess I'll see you around?" Leonard asked hopefully.

Penny pretended she hadn't heard and Sheldon simply nodded. Leonard stood there awkwardly before he hesitantly moved towards the inside of the store.

"I never understood Leonard's obsession with you." Sheldon said once they were in the car. "Do you remember the combination of the gun safe?"

"I do and I don't think that I'll need it but I'll still keep it in mind."

As Penny drove them home she thought about what a bizarre ending this was for an overall weird night.

If only she had known.

Arriving home she was ready to just go to bed. Penny felt exhausted and also kinda sad about Sheldon leaving and also meeting Leonard out of the blue. She reminisced about how much her life had changed in so little time, just months that felt like years.

She stopped changing, her dress half off her body. What would her life look like if she had stayed with Leonard?

All thoughts about 'what ifs' flew out of her head as she felt Sheldon run a finger on her bare back. She shivered in delight and by the time she was turning to him, he was already bending down to meet her for a kiss.

Penny was still kind of amazed at how affectionate Sheldon could be when it was just the two of them. She had been afraid that she would be pushing too much, too fast, but the reality of things was that Sheldon had met her halfway so far in everything.

As they kissed, she allowed the dress to slip down to the floor.

Sheldon stopped kissing her and frowned at her. "Really Penny?"

She couldn't help but laugh, only he could stop a make out session because her dress was on the floor.

Sheldon kneeled to pick up the dress and she put a hand on his shoulder, moved one foot up so he could slide the dress out and then did the same for the other foot. Still kneeling, he carefully folded the dress and put it on top of the coffee table.

"Penny?" He looked up at her.

"Hmmm?" She looked down at him and her heart skipped a beat. His face was too close to her crotch.

"May I touch you?"

She smiled like a loon, Sheldon still asked about being allowed to touch her, no matter how many times she told him that it was okay, he still checked.

"Of course Honey."

She expected him to touch her hips and butt, as he seemed fascinated by them but this time he surprised her by burying his face in her panty-clad crotch. She sucked in a breath in surprise and put her hands on his head, burying her fingers in his soft hair.

His breath was warm and she could feel it easily through the sheer fabric. She shivered and smiled, before remembering that it had been a hot night and she might not be the freshest.

"Hon, why don't we-" She was about to offer to take a shower but the words died in her mouth.

Smut Scene censored for this site. If you want to read it, you can find this story on AO3 under the same name.

"Now we're even." Penny smiled proudly and wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb.

"Dear lord…" Sheldon muttered again.

He would have to reconsider his stance on coitus being below his attention.

He was a scientist after all. He needed more evidence before reaching a conclusion.

Leonard just wanted a quiet night. That's all he wanted, he didn't think it was too much to ask for but being basically homeless meant that he never had quiet nights. Not anymore.

At least he had found a passion in stealth camping.

Who knew there were entire communities built around it? He hadn't. And now he knew most of the great spots you could park your car and sleep in peacefully.

He had stopped at a gas station to buy some snacks and to use the bathroom when he thought life had given him a break.

Penny.

She looked amazing in a form hugging dark red dress, he honestly would have watched her all night but of course something had to go wrong and in seconds Sheldon was there, in front of her.

He watched as Sheldon in a very not-Sheldon move approached Penny and basically cornered her against the car door. He had been gathering courage to try and go to defend her. Because she didn't look too happy at first.

But then Sheldon grabbed her cheek and they shared an intense look. He had never seen Sheldon look at anyone that way, no, he had reserved that look for whiteboards and formulas.

And Penny had never looked at him that way. His stomach roiled.

He watched as they hugged and he suddenly felt lost. What was he doing? He had to fight for her, he couldn't roll over and just let Sheldon take her.

Having finally mustered enough courage Leonard approached the pair and stopped cold at seeing Penny pull Sheldon down for a very intense kiss.

It had been months since he and Penny had broken up. But his heart broke all the same.

Not wanting to witness that any longer he approached and cleared his throat but the kissing pair ignored him. He tried again, and again, and again, but there was no response. He thought about going back to his car but in the end his need to talk to Penny was bigger than his embarrassment.

He cleared his throat one last time, loudly, almost cartoonishly so. But it did the trick, the kissing pair separated. Leonard desperately watched Penny's face for any signs of longing, of regret, of anything that told him she had missed him.

There was nothing.

They made small talk until Penny basically blew up on him for no reason. He had gone inside the store and when he came back Penny and Sheldon were no longer there.

"You have issues Leonard." That kept repeating inside his head, over and over.

He still didn't understand where it all had gone wrong. Just a few months ago he had been on top of the world and now, well now he was sleeping in his car.

The next morning was a Saturday and he didn't have work so he drove to Santa Monica. He didn't particularly like the beach, but he thought maybe the change of scenery would help him. But the beach smelled like shit and there were no people around. It just made him feel worse.

Leonard sat on the hood of his car, glanced at the beach in front of him and pulled out his phone. He stared at it for a long moment and before he could chicken out he pressed a couple of buttons and put the phone to his ear. He hoped no one would answer.

The voice of his mother was cold and disinterested, like always.

"Hello Mother."

Leonard hated his mother's voice.

"Actually yes, I need help."

She sounded so wooden, so distant and yet, there was something mocking about her voice.

"Mother! I'm being serious."

Every word out of her mouth told him that he wasn't good enough.

"I…think I screwed up big time."

He wasn't as successful as his siblings. Jennifer's research was groundbreaking and according to his mother, she was pretty close to finding an actual cure for diabetes. Michael had just announced his engagement and his bride-to-be was just as accomplished as he was.

"Mother, please! I need you to actually listen to me for once!"

Maybe there was something wrong with him after all.

"I don't know why I called you."

How come his siblings were fine? Why was he the only one that seemed so starved for love and affection?

"Because you're my mother!"

Leonard wanted to slam his phone on the ground but instead he ended the call with a trembling finger. That had been a mistake. He was a fool to think talking to her would fix anything.

He let his back rest against the windshield and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and immediately regretted it, there was something rank in the air. Maybe this was how all beaches smelled and he just had to get used to it. Maybe that was the same thing with life, it would always be shit and he needed to get used to it.

His phone vibrated in his hand and he picked up the call without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Leonard, are you ready to listen to me now?" His mother's voice was calm but he could detect the small amount of annoyance in her voice.

"Why should I? You're just going to call me a failure."

"Leonard." Her voice was harsh. "You called me, I asked the reason for the call and you blew up on me. It's obvious something big is happening but your very open resentment towards me keeps you from communicating your current situation." He heard as she took a steadying breath. "I'm your mother as you so eloquently put it a few moments ago. I want to help you if possible, but I can't do that if you take every word out of my mouth as some sort of attack on your person."

"...why didn't you love me?" His voice was a whisper.

"Leonard. I do love you." For the first time in a long time he could hear something in her voice, some emotion.

He hated himself but hearing her say that made him break down into tears. He curled up and cried. The beach was empty and he was thankful for that.

"Talk to me." And for the first time in a long time Leonard did just that.

He told her everything, not just about Penny, Leslie, Priya and moving out. No, he told her everything he had saved up for years, the bullying he had to endure, the lack of support, how lonely he felt in his own home growing up.

Like a broken pipe he spilled everything.

"Come home Leonard."

"Okay…" His voice was hoarse and broken but he did feel better.

He had enough accrued PTO that no one batted an eye at him taking a full week off, of course, it's not like he wanted to be around the lab at the moment. Leslie's presence was a constant reminder of how badly he screwed up.

He doubted it, but maybe coming back home would help him find his way again.

Priya slapped her cheeks and smiled bravely at the mirror. She wasn't ready to date again but she was ready to go back to her life.

It was her fault for falling in love so quickly with someone she knew nothing about. But Leonard had looked so harmless, like a nice guy.

And then he stomped on her heart.

Shaking her head she left those thoughts behind. Today was her first day at the new gym and she didn't want to still have this whole thing hanging over her head.

The gym was great, not that expensive and close to her brother's apartment. She had been afraid of men approaching her while she worked out but thankfully it had been unfounded. She watched and saw that everyone kept to themselves for the most part and in fact she was the one that had to approach a guy.

She didn't recognize one of the machines and instead of making a fool of herself she rather ask someone. The man she approached was kind and to the point, he showed her how to use the machine and after that moved to go back to his own workout but she stopped him.

"Thank you once again. I'm Priya. I just moved into the neighborhood."

"Oh cool, I'm Jon, but my friends call me Jonjon. If you need any help just give me a shout." He smiled at her and Priya smiled back.

It felt good to be out there again.

Leslie heard about Leonard's PTO request and despite her best efforts she broke down and had to ask Howard about it.

"I don't know. We're no longer talking to him." For once, Howard looked serious.

"Wait really? Because he cheated on me?" She knew about the little fanclub but she never expected Howard to be a part of it.

"What? No. The girl he was cheating with was Raj's sister." Howard shook his head. "I don't know what happened to Leonard."

She sniffed in disdain. "Yeah, I think he was always like that."

"Maybe."

And that had been that. She could have messaged Leonard directly, but no, she was not going to play that game anymore. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Sighing she went back to work.

The worst part of this was losing someone she thought was a friend. Now she didn't have someone to gossip with or to banter while they waited for results.

She didn't want a one-night stand. She wanted someone to love her.