I started writing this because I was disappointed my Harry Potter fic hasn't been getting a lot of attention. I really shouldn't have written it, because I'm supposed to be focusing on other things. But it's only 100 pages, and it only took a month. So here you go!

Updates on Saturdays

I deal candy, not cocaine

Look, I didn't want to be the subject of a drugs-bust.

Really, it's not as if I wake up every morning and think, "How can I get in trouble today?". There's no blinking neon sign above me reading, "This kid wants chaos!" And yeah, sure, I'm in the Hermes cabin currently. God of Trickery. That's not my fault!

I'd been at Camp Half Blood for five days after losing my mom. That was five whole days of everything from picking strawberries, to climbing this stupid rock wall, and failing at archery, to just staring at the wall in the Big House and missing my mom. Feeling lost. Alone.

Connor and Travis Stoll, who were permanent residents of the Hermes Cabin since he's actually their dad, don't have the same issues I do. You have to really watch them to realize they're on to something. Me? I can't not look like I'm considering arson. Something about my face just screams, "FUTURE FELON."

But Connor and Travis noticed I was feeling down. And when Luke was being pulled in various directions, they started bringing me snacks to make me feel better. Jolly Ranchers nicked from the camp store that must have been sitting there since the first McDonalds was founded. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups lopsided from being stuck in Connor's pocket in the heat. It was nice of them.

But, the thing is, none of it was blue and I was so depressed that even candy didn't seem worthwhile. So I thanked them, kept some of it, and pawned the rest. With a few trades, I was able to get myself some earplugs so that I could get better rest sleeping on my corner of floor in the cabin.

Well, Grover remembered I used to deal candy in our dorm at Yancy's, so he went out, back down to Manhattan, and brought my bag back for me, along with a picture of my mom. To keep any of Hermes's kids from stealing it before I could meet him for it, he left it in the Big House. No one hardly ever goes up to the Big House.

I didn't know quite how Grover had done it, as I walked down to meet him. I'd unpacked my stuff before leaving home. Smelly Gabe never leaves home. Maybe he'd shimmied up the side of the apartment building and had done a dive through the window. Those goat hooves of his looked dainty, but he could climb the rock wall faster than I could get into trouble – and that's saying something.

I really should have knocked on wood or thrown salt over my shoulder before leaving the cabin. But at the rate of a week I was having, I probably could have walked under ladders all the way down to the Big house and broken a thousand mirrors and opened three umbrellas inside and my luck still couldn't have gotten any worse.

As I put my foot on the bottom stair, this feeling similar to icy water running down my spine hit me. I had this thought – maybe I should turn around now? But then I heard the crack of a coke can being opened. Someone took a long sip. I didn't need to ask. Five days was five days long enough.

"Peter Johnson," said Mr. D, the camp director. He sat in a thatched lawn chair that I was pretty sure had not been there as I was walking up. Stupid Godly poofing powers. I wished he could poof my mom back but I was starting to learn that Gods were much better at poofing problems into existence than poofing them out. I wondered if they were even able to resolve problems. Maybe that was a mortal-only thing.

Mr. D had a small can of Diet Coke in hand and wore a Hawaiian shirt that looked more normal than usual… if Hawaiian can be such a thing. And he looked at me through his hangover in a way that made me hope he had control of those powers to turn me into grapes at the moment. "Here to confess?"

I wished it wasn't too late to head back to Hermes. "What?" I asked.

"Don't play stupid," Mr. D said. "We know what you did."

Now, if I had a nickel for every time I'd heard that in my life… well, actually, the camp store seemed to favor drachmas, not nickels…

"I… actually don't know," I replied.

He snorted and took another long drink. "Yeah. That's what they all say."

I edged towards the door. "I'm just here to chat with Grover…"

But unfortunately, right when I was reaching for the handle, it flew open. The blonde Athena girl, Annabeth Chase, was scowling on the other side. "You're in a world of trouble, drool-boy," she said.

Now, I hadn't been too extremely worried when Mr. D said I was in trouble. He thought everyone was in trouble. Sure, me especially, but I figured he was just trying to scare me. Annabeth didn't seem the type to just try and scare someone. So I stiffened up and looked at her weird. Annabeth sighed. She waved me in and shut the door. "We know what you've been doing. And honestly, you're way too young! You should know better!"

I blinked, slowly. "I should?"

"You should!" Then, she looked at me closer and her scowl turned into a frown. "Wait… why are you here?"

"It's none of your business."

"Oh, so you are here because of what's happened?"

"No, I mean – I don't know what's happened!"

Annabeth blinked. "Katie from Aphrodite is in the med bay. She's high as a kite. She had some Reese's that the Aphrodite girls say she got from you."

My jaw dropped down to basement level. "Oh. Great. Connor must think he's really funny, giving those to me."

"Connor Stoll?" Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You really should know better."

"You keep saying that…"

"It's true." Annabeth huffed and crossed her arms. "Chiron caught Grover with your bag of stuff. He's being interrogated now." She nodded her head to a closed door two meters away.

"But he didn't do anything!" Unless… "You think I'm selling spiked candy?"

"Are you?"

"I'm literally twelve."

"Are you?"

I groaned and covered my face. Annabeth is really smart, don't get me wrong, but I wish she had figured out I hadn't done this… before I'd shown up. She rolled her eyes again, like I asked for any of this, and sighed. "Come on, your stuff's this way. If there's no more drugs in any of it…" She headed down the hall – past the room where Chiron and Grover supposedly were - and opened up a room that seemed to mostly be used for storage. It was chock full of junk. Swords and shields in pretty good condition, mounted and gleaming on the wall. Lots and lots of beads for some reason, in big strings and hung like rope. On a pretty sturdy table were different claws from different beasts, knives, holsters, the odd horn or two. And my bag from Yancy, looking very out of place and not raided at all.

Beside the table was a statue of a lady with a shield and a scary face on the shield. She was topless, because Greeks are weird, and holding a tree branch in one hand. And at her feet, someone had set a ball of blue yarn.

The blue yarn rang a bell in the back of my head. I squinted at it, thinking, and then said, "I think I saw three old ladies knitting with this stuff."

"Yarn?" Annabeth was not impressed. "What else do you knit with?"

"Nah, it was on the way back from Yancy with Grover. He kept trying to get me to look away. Then one of them cut the yarn."

Annabeth gasped and stared at me. "What?" she said. "And… were these terribly old ladies?"

"Yeah."

Annabeth chewed on her lip, then glanced back to the yarn. "It… could have been the fates."

"Doesn't it mean when they cut the string-"

"Someone's going to die," Annabeth nodded. She was creeping closer to the statue. "This is… odd placing… I didn't know we had any of the fate's yarn here."

I looked back at the lady. She and the scary face on her shield screamed back. Both their mouths were open. "Lady, that is one face," I muttered.

Annabeth glanced up. "Gorgon," she said, as if that made perfect sense. It sounded like some sort of acai bowl to me. "That's my mother, Athena."

I tried even harder to not look at the naked top half of Athena. "Er, fashion has certainly changed."

Annabeth sighed, like "I can't believe you'd even try to use your brain" and then said, "No one dressed like that back in the day. It's all symbolic in carving."

I decided I had better things to do than to learn about symbolic carving, so I reached for my bag of candy. Poor Grover needed rescuing.

I slung the bag onto my shoulder and then felt something move up my shoulder. I glanced over and nearly jumped out of my skin. A tarantula about five inches big had settled on my shoulder. Apparently, it had moved into my bag for a tasty morsel – who knew how long it had been there – and the jostling had awoken it from its sleep.

Now, I'm not one to be squeamish about creepy-crawlies. In New York, every apartment has cockroaches. Rats run through the grass like children, frolicking in the sunlight. We had to get checked for lice at school. But when something five inches across settles on your shoulder and is that close to your face, you jump a little. I don't care who you are. You could be Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He'd still jump.

Before my brain could run command "get_this_off_my_ ", Annabeth let out an unholy scream that must have woken the dead for five miles around the camp. My ears started ringing. Both the spider and I jumped. The spider made the smart choice and jumped towards the floor to scuttle off into a corner, making scratchy sounds on the floorboards. I continued my record of not making great decisions under pressure and I jumped away from Annabeth and straight into topless Athena, whose tree branch in her hand stabbed me in the back.

Annabeth climbed onto the table, still screaming, shaking, and even crying a little. That was a bit melodramatic, I thought. It hadn't touched her. But she danced on the table anxiously, looking towards the ground and shrieking.

Something moved in the corner of my eye and I thought it was the spider again, but this something was blue. It was actually the ball of blue yarn. I'd knocked it off its pedestal. It rolled lazily towards the door and then made an arc and headed back towards us. By some happenstance, it looped around the table Annabeth was dancing on.

"Where'd it go?" Annabeth cried, looking all around. "Where is it? Where is it?"

"If it's smart, it'll get as far away from the sound as possible." My ears were still ringing. I tapped the one that had been closest to Annabeth. It seemed to be suffering worse.

The yarn finished its trip across the floor and bumped the statue again. Annabeth and I now stood in a lopsided circle of blue yarn. I sighed. "Look," I said. "It's still in the room. We can leave and shut it in here."

Annabeth was alternating between shaking her head no and nodding. I took hold of the table after bending down to make sure our unexpected friend hadn't crawled up the legs. I didn't want to have to peel Annabeth off the ceiling.

I lugged the chair towards the door because it was the only way I could think to get her out. She continued looking around wildly, holding her hands close to her chest in terror. The table made a terrible grinding and scraping sound, but it moved. I wasn't worried about the noise. With the scream Annabeth had let out and my luck, everyone had probably already begun assuming I was murdering her anyway. It couldn't get worse than that.

When we were close enough I thought she could make the jump, I bent down to peer at all the little nooks and crannies I could see. "All clear," I told her. "Can you jump?"

Her knees looked locked up, but she nodded and took short, huffy breaths. Then she jumped and flew out the door and tumbled into the hallway, immediately jumping up and looking at the floor mistrustfully. I shoved the table back, checked my bag of goodies to make sure no other hitchhikers remained – though depending on how long that tarantula had been in my bag previously, I wasn't sure I wanted any of it – and then left the room, shutting it behind me.

Annabeth took off for the main door of the Big House, still panting from fear. She hovered at the end of the hallway for me, waiting.

"You're afraid of spiders?" I asked.

"All children of Athena are," Annabeth muttered, sounding lightheaded.

She shivered like it was January. Her right hand was feeling up the door for the knob. If I didn't follow her, she was going to leave me in the dust, and she was probably the only person who could – "Hey, wait!" I called. I hurried forward and opened the door Grover and Chiron were supposed to be behind. It opened, but there was nothing behind it except a small table and four chair. No half-goat or half-horse people here. "Huh. They must have left."

Annabeth frowned. "Yeah, just barely, I guess."

She turned the handle and leaped out of the hallway, still shaking. Unfortunately, there was someone coming up the steps. It was a girl I didn't recognize. Much older. Maybe a high school junior or senior. Annabeth nearly jumped into this girl's skin in her haste to leave the Big House and only avoided a crash by twisting at the last second. The girl shrieked in surprise, and then took a moment to examine Annabeth. Then, she shrieked again – louder – and dashed off.

"Strange," I said. "Who was that?"

Annabeth was starting to catch her breath again, though she was still trembling. She frowned. "I don't know. I've never seen her before."

There were actually suddenly quite a few kids in the area. Just random people in orange t-shirts. But something weird was going on. A few saw us, nudged their comrades, whispered, backed up. Some ran like the girl Annabeth had nearly taken out. None of them looked happy to see us and none of them I recognized.

Glancing at Annabeth, it didn't look that she recognized them either.

"YOU!" Someone bellowed behind me, shaking the wood planks under my feet. I whipped around. Behind me was Mr. D. He looked three feet taller than normal and grapevines were sprouting at his feet, tearing up the floorboards.

"Me?" I repeated, hoping he meant Annabeth. As if I'd ever had that kind of luck before.

There was distant galloping. "Chiron!" Annabeth called. "Over here!"

For a moment, I was relieved to see my mentor. But he looked absolutely unhappy to see me in return, so I shut my mouth.

All this for some spiked candy?

"You should not have come here," Chiron said, anger lacing his tone. "You know the consequences for coming back!"

From the direction Chiron had run, campers appeared in battle gear. War helmets, shields, and breastcoverings. They ran like they were heading into real battle.

"Wait!" Annabeth cried. "It's me, Chiron!"

This did not seem to solve any problems. Down the hall, Mr. D approached with the grapevines travelling up the walls and releasing the smell of alcohol. The grapevines stretched towards my shoes. I jumped back and hit Annabeth's back and narrowly avoided getting my shoelaces tangled with the vines. Everyone loves to joke about getting shoelaces untied until it happens. No fun.

On Annabeth's side, things weren't any better. The campers surrounded us, pinning us on the Big House patio. I still didn't recognize any of them. With a grave expression, Chiron drew a spear from his side. Annabeth quaked. "Wait," she croaked.

Her plea took on new life. "Wait! Wait! Waaaaait! Wait!"

It was a single shout to the back of the crowd as someone dashed down towards the ground, holding a hand aloft. "Bleaa! Wait!" they called, and smashed through the line of campers to Chrion's left. It was a satyr, and he had Grover's curly hair and most of Grover's voice, but he was much older than Grover. "Wait! Stop! This has to be a mistake! This can't be them! Hold on! This can't be Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase!"

Please leave me a review if you like it because it's pretty depressing when you're excited about something and it seems like no one else is.

Saturday's chapter will be called: I get the lamest undercover name ever