Broken and Shattered

by krjt28

Naruto had done it. He kept his promise to Sakura, and brought Sasuke back home. He wasn't expecting anything in return for doing this, but what he did receive, shattered his soul.

1. Don't Look Back in Anger

AN: This chapter has been updated to remove most honorifics based on feed back

CHAPTER 1: Don't Look Back in Anger

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Konohagakure main hospital

There is a buzz in the air. Medical-nin are running back and forth between rooms healing the 6 young men that just arrived at the hospital. One of them, the chūnin, was lucky that he only had a dislocated finger and so elected to wait for his injury to be healed and would stay in said hospital till his friends at least woke up. The other 5 genin were not as lucky

The larger boy, Chōji Akimichi, is in an extremely critical situation. He is currently on the brink of death, having used his families 3 colored pills which are now poisoning him. Out of all the boys, he is in the worst shape necessitating having the best medical-nin in the village, Tsunade, to deal with him first.

In the room next to Chōji lay another 2 genin, Neji Hyūga and Kiba Inuzuka. The Hyūga boy's injuries were extensive. He had multiple puncture wounds all over his body and several organs were damaged, needing constant attention from the staff to prevent a slide into critical status. The Inuzuka boy had internal bleeding thanks to the stomach wound he currently has and was unconscious due to blood loss.

In another room above the 3 boys lay the final 2 genin, Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki. The Uchiha boy was currently in a coma due to the injuries he had received after fighting Naruto in the valley of the end. Sasuke had several broken bones, organ damage, internal bleeding and bruising all over his body. It's a miracle he's still alive.

The Uzumaki boy's injuries were the most peculiar of them all. When they all arrived, he was easily in the worst state. Within a few hours his body was miraculously healing itself outside the iryō ninjutsu applied to the boy. He had bruising and lacerations all over his body and several broken bones, but the worst damage was the giant gaping hole in the center of his body right next to his heart. This wound strangely had burn marks around it. He should have been dead on arrival, but Naruto refused to die. He now lies resting in his bed next to Sasuke with all his injuries healing up well. Even the hole in his chest was now tiny in comparison to what it used to be.

News started spreading quickly that the boys had returned from their mission successfully. It was only a day after they arrived home that word reached 3 certain kunoichi in the village hidden in the leaves. Hinata Hyūga was the first to arrive. She had wanted to see Naruto first but was persuaded to see her cousin first after a Medical-nin told her about her cousins' status. The second to arrive was Sakura Haruno. When she arrived at the hospital, she asked where Sasuke was and was directed to the room the boy shared with Naruto. Once she made it to door of the room, she opened the door and found that Naruto was awake on his bed laying down, staring at the ceiling.

Hearing a noise coming from the doorway, Naruto turned his head towards the entrance but had to blink a few times to adjust to the new light shining through the opened door.

"S-Sakura?" Naruto said weakly as his heart skipped a beat seeing his pink haired crush. After a little difficulty he was able to sit upright to get a better look at her beautiful face. He also tried to give her a weak smile but winced as his chest gave him a big stinging sensation. Sakura had heard Naruto speak but ignored it after finally seeing Sasuke for the first time since his defection. She gasped as she saw all the bandages and machines attached to his body.
"Sasuke!" Sakura muttered emotionally as she dashed over to the love of her life. She knelt next to his bed and took his hand into her own and started to fully grasp the condition that he was in.

How could this have happened? He was completely healthy when he left the village. How could he have arrived back in such a state? No, no, no, no, no, NO. This isn't how it was supposed to go.

A thousand thoughts like this raced through Sakura's mind, trying to come up with answers for all of them. She could only come up with one explanation for how this came about.

It was him! He did this to Sasuke. He promised me he would bring him back, not in this state though! How could he do this to him? To Her?

Naruto could only watch the scene in front of him. His heart broke a little upon seeing Sakura completely ignoring him. He should have expected it though, her precious Sasuke was finally home so she could go back to ignoring him like she always did. Maybe, that was for the best though. After making her that promise to bring Sasuke back, Naruto had come to the realization that Sakura would never see him the way he saw her. It felt like torture when he first came to it, but he eventually accepted it and hoped to at least be her friend and to see her happy. It was at this point that the third kunoichi entered the hospital with flowers.

It was after a few minutes of silence that Naruto heard crying. He looked over to Sakura and saw her and Sasuke's hand was collecting moisture. It broke him even more to see Sakura crying like this. He never wanted to see any of his friends suffering. Something was off, and Naruto knew it. He fulfilled his promise to Sakura so everything should be ok now, right?

Wincing through the pain, Naruto finally spoke, "I-I kept my promise to you Sakura. S-S-Sasuke is back by your side." The hurt was rising inside of him, making him repeat syllables but he tried his best to ignore the sensations in him. He had to put on a brave face for Sakura.

After hearing Naruto say those words, Sakura finally stopped her crying. She slowly took her hand from Sasuke's and put it by her side. Even more slowly she rose up from Sasuke's bed side. She then turned to Naruto, finally acknowledging his presence. After what felt like an eternity, she finally started making her way to Naruto's side of the room with a blank expression on her face. When she got close enough to him, she raised her hand.

Naruto's heart once again skipped a beat when she finally came by his side. Even though he knew they would never be together, he still sometimes dreamt of what could have been. The heart wants what it wants. At this point, he could see 3 shadows in the doorway in the periphery of his vision. He tried to turn his head so he could see the newcomers, but he didn't get a chance to finish his action.

SLAP

If Naruto thought he was in agony before, this was on a whole different level. The whole left side of his face was beat red, and it felt like his skin was burning all over again. This physical pain though was nothing to compared to the emotional anguish he was starting to feel. He turned his head back to see Sakura's face. What he noticed was that her eyes were filled with nothing but hate.

"S-Sakura, w-why?" Naruto responded in a quiet voice only Sakura could hear.

SLAP

Now the right side of his face matched the left side. The physical pain, although there, was a complete after thought to what his emotions were going through.

Why? Why did she slap me? I thought I was her friend. I gave her what she wanted and brought Sasuke back. Why did she do that? I thought she would finally be happy again!

Sakura was not done though. If the slaps were the first shots fired, her words were the main event. In a low roar, she finally spoke to Naruto.

"You kept your promise? JUST LOOK AT HIM! DOES HE LOOK OK TO YOU?"

Crack

"He looks like he's on the brink of death! How can you say you kept your promise after what you did to Sasuke?"

Crack

Naruto tried to get a word in "But I had no choice, he was trying to kil..." but Sakura was having none of it. She glared even harder at him now.

"I don't want to hear it from you! I asked one simple thing from you, and you somehow screwed even that up." She said with vitrail and hate.

Crack

"Some friend you turned out to be. You really are the dead last of us all. I was right to pick Sasuke, you will always be inferior to him"

CRACK

With that last line from Sakura, Naruto's heart finally broke completely. The pieces shattered so thoroughly there was no hope of gluing them back together. The love of his life just threw every insecurity he ever felt right into his face. The worst part about it was that not a trace of regret was on Sakura's face when she uttered those things. She meant every word of what she said, and he knew it.

Naruto thought he knew pain when he took the chidori through his chest. He was dead wrong. He would take that chidori going straight through him a thousand times over compared to what he was feeling now. He now wished the chidori had gone through his heart instead of feeling this hollowness inside himself. The small stream he thought divided him and Sakura was now a vast ocean. One who he knew he could never cross. At this point in time, there was only one thing Naruto could do.

SOB

Naruto could only cry in this moment in time. At first it was only a trickle, one or two tear drops here and there. Eventually the levee broke and soon a tsunami of tears started coming from the boy. He didn't care if Sakura saw him in this pathetic position. Hell, he didn't even care if the 3 people in the doorway saw. He was in so much misery, and he had to let it out.

His wailing started out quietly, barely a whisper in the air. It steadily rose in a crescendo until it was clearly audible even to the people outside the room. To those who heard it, they would never forget the pained cries that came from that young boy in that instant. It was the sound of a million lovers weeping as they parted, never to see each other again.

Hinata was feeling two extreme emotions at this time. She, along with Ino Yamanaka and Shikamaru Nara had arrived at the door right when the first slap happened. All were shocked at what had happened. Hinata felt utter sadness at the suffering the man she loved was currently going through, and volcanic rage at the pink hair kunoichi who caused said suffering. Her emotions caused her Byakugan to activate on its own and she decided on her course of action.

With a drive and determination she never knew she had in her, Hinata walked through the door first, blindsiding Ino and Shikamaru in the process. Before today, she never walked towards Naruto, only ever watching from a distance. Today though, she felt no fear in approaching the boy. She wanted so desperately to take Naruto's sadness away right this instant, but her rage was in the driver's seat. She walked over to Naruto's side in front of Sakura, finally making her presence known. She raised her hand just like Sakura did moments ago and then it happened.

SLAP

Hinata, the shy quiet girl full of kindness who gave everyone the proper respect in titles. The meek and timid Hyūga princess. The one that was the least confrontational out of the konoha 11, just slapped Sakura.

Stunned was the room except for the Uzumaki boy. What was just seen was a 10,000-year event and they all knew it. Sakura and the 2 people still in the doorway were even more shaken when Hinata finally spoke.

"Leave now Sakura, I don't want to see you in this room again!" The rest of the room minus Naruto noticed Hinata's face wasn't the kind one they were used to, This was a face was filled with wrath. Her pupilless orbs were giving a death glare to the pink haired kunoichi. Her mouth contorted in a snarl that could be mistaken for a wild animal. If the slap was a 10,000-year event, this outburst was a 100,000-year event.

"W-What was that for! Why did you slap me?!" Sakura articulated in a rage; her attention now turned to the dark blue haired girl in front of her.

"I will NOT say it again, leave now!" Hinata denoted with even more fire and fury than before, breaking the shock on the two in the doorway in the process.

"Or what princess? What are you going to do if I stay?" Sakura fired back trying to gain control of the situation but to no avail. She then felt 2 hands on her shoulders, and they turned her around. She was now facing a very pissed off Shikamaru and an extremely disappointed Ino.

"You better do what she says. You are being troublesome" Shikamaru told Sakura with a vigor he didn't know he had.

"let's go Sakura, the three of us need to talk." Ino asserted with a serious tone to her voice as she left the flowers and cards on a nearby table. Sakura was going to retort, but the looks she was getting from the 2 of them told her that she should follow the instructions laid out before her. Clenching her fists, gritting her teeth, and shutting her blue eyes, she only replied with "fine" and then left with the 2 of them.

Naruto was vaguely aware of what was happening around him. He could feel Hinata come to his side and in front of Sakura, but he was too busy wailing and weeping with more moisture freely flowing from his face down his whisker covered cheeks.

Once the pink haired kunoichi finally left with the other 2, Hinata let go of the wrath that had taken over her. She was now left with all the sadness she felt at seeing Naruto in his current state. It broke her heart in a million pieces to see Naruto in such anguish. He had always been the steady rock in her life. Never giving up and always seeing the bright side of everything, always willing to give a helping hand. Now here he was, in the middle of the stream with no rock to grab onto. Hinata would become that rock.

"Naruto, I-It will be ok. I-I'll be here for you as long as you need me to be." Hinata verbalized with as much affection as she could muster. Gradually, she reached out to Naruto, not knowing exactly what to do in this situation. Lucky for her she didn't need to do any more than that.

Naruto brought her in for a soul binding hug. Right before this hug, he had never felt more alone in his life. Not even that time on the playground were the other kid's parents told their kids to stay away from the demon child compared to the loneliness he was feeling now. This hug let him know that he wasn't alone in this. There was someone who would listen and help him through this. Once he brought her in for the hug, he started to bawl his eyes out on her shoulder. It was just easier now to let it all go.

At any other point in time, if Naruto had brought her in for hug, she would have lost consciousness at once. This wasn't just any point in time. This time he needed HER to be strong for him. SHE needed to be the one who he could rely on. Gracefully, she brought her arms around him and started to hug him back.

"It's Ok Naruto. I'm here for you. Let it all out." Hinata suggested with as much love as she could bring up. It did the trick as he started to let out more tears. Hinata was still feeling sad, but she was also feeling something else. She felt happy that she was finally bringing comfort to the man she loved with all her heart. They stayed this way for a long time until his crying finally ceased and Naruto was finally able to get some much-needed rest.

XxX

Training Ground 11, outside Konohagakure

After what had just transpired at the hospital, Shikamaru decided it would be best if this upcoming discussion would take place in a secluded area. The best and closest place he could think of was Team 10's first training ground outside Konohagakure. Traveling for 30 minutes, they finally arrived at their destination.

"Okay Shikamaru, why did you bring us all the way out here?" Sakura spoke aloud, finally breaking the silence that had befallen the group since there initial departure.

Fury started to rise in the Nara boy, but he held it in check. He needed her to understand just what she had done to their mutual teammate. Sluggishly he turned around to face his fellow 2 kunoichi, one who he knew quite well in Ino and the other who he didn't know but was already on bad terms with.

Raising his arm to his head, he rubbed his head as he answered back to Sakura, "This will be troublesome, but it needs to be done. You need to understand just what you did to Naruto." Shikamaru finished while bringing his arm back to his side.

Upon hearing this, Sakura took a step forward to confront the Nara boy and said, "What I did to Naruto? WHAT I DID TO NARUTO? Did you even see the state Sasuke was in? He could have very well died before I ever got to see him again." Sakura asserted as she once again balled her hands in anger, her knuckles becoming white from the strain.

Once again, Shikamaru had to bite his tongue at what he had heard. There would be no getting through to her if he lost his cool in this moment. Ino too was starting to lose patience with her friend, but she hid it as well. Shikamaru decided it be best if he told what happened while sitting on the tree stump he first saw all those months back with team 10.

After finally getting comfortable before telling his tale, he responded back to girl who caused this mess. "You have no idea what we, and specifically Naruto, went through to get your precious Sasuke back. If you did, then you would be crying in shame for what you said and did to Naruto." Shikamaru paused before continuing, "I saw you as you came into the hospital. After being told where your precious Sasuke was you immediately went to his room. You didn't even bother to ask how all of us were doing."

Shikamaru waited for just a bit before continuing but he did pick up something in Sakura's eyes. Was it knowing? Shock? Guilt? He could not say but he could tell that his words were starting to get through to her. Annoying as this was for him, he pressed on.

"We got our asses kicked out there Sakura. I won't go over the specifics with you on what exactly happened, but I will tell you how my team suffered." Shikamaru voiced, as he looked back in anger at the memories of just what his team went through to get the traitor back.

Ino for her part was listening with rapt attention. When she got to the hospital earlier, she saw her teammate in the waiting room and decided to talk to him first to get the details on what happened. He said to her that the mission was a success and that Sasuke was home. She first felt relief upon hearing that her crush was back home, but the look in Shikamaru's eyes told her things went terribly wrong during the mission. She wanted to press him for answers but instead insisted they go and see firsthand what happened to Sasuke during the retrieval. She would never forget what she saw or heard when she opened that door to Naruto and Sasuke's room.

After resting his voice for just a few moments, he continued uttering his tale. "I don't have to tell you how bad Sasuke was. You saw for yourself. Safe to say, the rest of the team didn't fare any better. I'd say a most of us got it worse than Sasuke." Shikamaru waited for a response to this. The only one he got was another look in Sakura's eyes. She still held wrath in her eyes, but it was no longer as potent as it had once been. Seeing as he still had both the kunoichi's attention, he pressed on.

"I got off by far the easiest, I have only a dislocated finger to show for my troubles. Neji suffered multiple puncture wounds, his diaphragm, left lung, and several points along his small intestine all had holes in them. If we had arrived much later than we did, he wouldn't be alive now." Shikamaru now was starting to ball his own fists in rage, thinking about how he almost lost his whole team on his very first chūnin mission.

"Kiba got it worse than even Neji did. His stomach was sliced through and he's suffering from major internal bleeding and is in a coma to spare him the pain of his injuries." Shikamaru professed to his fellow Konohagakure kunoichi. It made him sick to his stomach having seen Kiba in the dire circumstances he was in and knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

Sakura was now just starting to understand just how horribly the mission went. When she heard the team had arrived back with Sasuke in tow, she left at once for the hospital just to see the light in her eye. Perhaps this light blinded her to the situation, perhaps she should have stopped and talked to Shikamaru before heading to Sasuke's room. All that was in the past now and she would have to live with that. She slowly started unclenching her fists to relieve some of the pressure in her hands.

"Chōji, my best friend, is even a worse state. He used his families 3 colored pills to buy us time to get to Sasuke. He's on the verge of multiple organ shutdown due to the poison ravaging his body. I don't even know if he will wake up again but there is nothing I can do for him now." Shikamaru vocalized with melancholy.

Ino gasped and brought her hand to her mouth in surprise when she heard the predicament that her teammate was in. She had no idea that this mission would be so extreme that Chōji would use his families' secret pills to win. She knew from firsthand accounts just how dangerous using those pills could be, let alone all 3 and in someone so young. Once this talk was over, she was going to make a get-well basket for her teammate with all his favorite snacks she could think of.

Sakura's once seething fury was now very quickly getting smoothed. Her hands were now fully at her side, no longer curled in anger. Were all the boys in the hospital this badly hurt? How could a simple rescue operation go south so badly? There's no way this can all be true, could it though? I'm worried now, if Neji, Kiba, and Chōji were all in such plight, I can only imagine what Naruto's status was like.

"That leaves only Naruto and both of you steel yourself. Naruto did die out there." This floored the two young genin like nothing else. Ino fell to her backside and Sakura fell to her knees. This time it was Ino's turn to speak.

"D-Dead? Naruto died out there?" Shikamaru could only tilt his head up and down at the blonde's question. "Then how is he still alive back at the hospital?" Ino questioned again, hoping to get some more clarity on this situation.

Shikamaru brought his head up to them so they could hear perfectly what he was about to say. "Kakashi and I were their first to see the aftermath of Sasuke's and Naruto's battle. It was not a pretty sight. Both of them were on the ground not moving. Sasuke was only unconscious but stable for the most part it seemed." Shikamaru took a pause to collect himself for the next part.

"Naruto, his pulse was extremely weak and before we could even get going, it gave out. It was then we noticed why Naruto heart stopped beating. We removed his jacket, and we saw a fist size hole clear through his body right next to his heart." Shikamaru's emotions were now a maelstrom thinking back to seeing Naruto with an empty cavity in his chest. If Naruto had stayed dead, then he would have retired early from being a shinobi.

Sakura was starting to have a breakdown in her mind. Long gone was the rage she held in her eyes, now replaced with shame and guilt. She continued to sit on her knees contemplating what she had just heard. Naruto, one of her friends, had died because of her wishes. There was a lingering question on the tip of her lips but lucky for her, Ino spoke it first.

"How was he revived? I got to know!" Ino pleaded with Shikamaru to continue. She was now in a seated position, having rearranged herself after her fall from the earlier news. She didn't have to wait long for Shikamaru to continue.

"You can thank Kakashi for that. He stuck his hand in Naruto chest, found where his heart was, and used his electrical affinity to restart his heart."Shikamaru remarked to the both of them, not hiding any detail from them. He now thought back to the formation of his team and kicked himself for not including anyone who knew iryō ninjutsu.

"How is it possible that he was up speaking just before we came here? That should be impossible after that kind of injury." Ino asked in confusion.

Shikamaru sighed at this question as its one he didn't know the answer too. "I don't know how exactly but, on the way back to Konohagakure, his body started to heal itself. If I had to guess, it might have to do with that strange chakra we felt from him during the chūnin exams." Shikamaru theorized as that could be the only possible explanation. What exactly that chakra was though was a complete mystery to him.

Now it was Sakura's turn to ask a question. A question she didn't want to know the answer too but needed to all the same. "How did he get his injury? Please tell me Shikamaru!" Sakura verbalized in a tone barely above a whisper.

Shikamaru gave a frown to the pitiful girl in front of him before answering her question. "I think you can guess who did it." Sakura received the answer she dreaded hearing the most.

No, Sasuke would never do something like that. Sure, he had his moments of fury and tunnel vision, but he would never try and kill his teammate! Surely there must be another explanation... the curse mark! That's what made him try and kill Naruto.

While Sakura's mind was coming to grips with the grim news she had just heard. Ino was also going through her own mental struggles with Naruto's death and rebirth. Sasuke, the boy she had a huge crush on since her academy days. The same boy who both Sakura and her briefly ended their friendship over. The same boy who many considered the bright future of Konohagakure. He just tried to murder not just a fellow Konohagakure shinobi but his teammate as well. She could feel her brain shutting down trying to process this information.

Shikamaru let the silence hang between the 3 of them for a minute, trying to gage their reactions to what was just told to them, but not coming up with anything he didn't already expect. Finally breaking the silence, Shikamaru continued with his little speech.

"After reviving him, we were meet by members of the Medic Corp who had already gotten the others and brought them back home. From there you pretty much know everything you need to know." Shikamaru finished his story about the retrieval mission. It took a lot out of him retelling this, but he knew he had to do it one more time for the Godaime Hokage when she finished up healing his broken team.

Shikamaru was not done, not by a long shot. He had to make sure Sakura knew just how bad she screwed up earlier. With this thought in mind, he continued to enunciate specifically to the pink haired genin.

"Although I'm sure his pain was great after his fight with Sasuke, I'm positive Naruto would take that pain every day over what you just did to him not even an hour ago." Shikamaru was finally getting to the main reason of this whole impromptu meeting of the 3. He was glad that Ino came along as a witness to this proceeding.

"All of us in the class knew Naruto loved you. It was clear as day for all these years. We never understood why he did though as you treated him like garbage all these years." Shikamaru vented to his pink haired target. Shikamaru wasn't blameless though in this and so continued.

"I can't say the rest of us were blameless in Naruto's treatment. We barely treated him better than you did, and we will carry that shame with us till the end." Shikamaru declared in a tone that spoke of the disgrace he felt thinking back to his schooling days. Undeterred, he pressed on giving her his last thoughts on the matter.

"You were so blinded by your devotion to your precious Sasuke that you couldn't see what you were doing to those around you. Naruto would do anything thing for you, Hell he did EVERYTHING for you, and you repaid him by shattering his heart in the most sadistic way possible. You are troublesome and you disgust me Sakura." With these final words, Shikamaru could utter no more without getting physically violent. So, he left training ground 11 and left the blonde and pink kunoichi behind.

Ino, after the momentary shutdown of her brain, finally started to understand what had just been spoken to her. She was now seeing less of the light from Sasuke and more of the darkness that seemed to spread from the young shinobi. She too also started to feel guilty about how she and the others had treated Naruto for all those years.

Sure, he could be annoying at times, but it didn't justify the vitriol that came his way. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever remember him having any friends growing up. The only positive I can remember in his life was Iruka-sensei. Kami, we really did treat him badly.

Ino's thoughts were soon interrupted by a sound she didn't think she would hear again today, sobbing. Sakura was crying in front of her. One drop of moisture turned into many. There was no wailing yet, but Ino knew that would come soon. As much as she wanted to comfort her friend in this moment, Ino knew that Sakura needed to go through this alone to really understand just what she did. With these final thoughts, Ino left and followed her fellow team 10 shinobi away from this place.

Minutes went by in the training ground. Sakura by now was sitting against a tree with her legs held against her chest. Try as she might, Sakura just could not stop herself from crying. She started to pull memories back from when she first met Naruto and ran through all the moments they shared together up until their most recent encounter. It did not paint a pretty picture of her.

Why was I so harsh on him? I wasn't that mean spirited, was I?

She got no answers that made her feel any better. Her mind then switched to her last encounter with Naruto and all the suffering she put him through.

Kami, I wasn't focusing on it, but I can clearly see his eyes now as I broke his heart in the worst possible way imaginable. Could I actually cause that much agony in a person? I just don't understand why Naruto likes me so much. I thought he just had a crush on me due to his rivalry with Sasuke. Were his feelings genuine about me all along? Why can't this be simple?

Sakura felt truly alone for the first time in her life. Suddenly a thought came to her, and it instantly made her start bawling her eyes out even more.

This must be how he felt all throughout his life until he was promoted to genin. He had no one. No parents, no friends, the entire village treated him like crap, all save his teachers actively hindered his learning except Iruka-sensei. Kami, how could I have not seen it all this time?

A reply never reached her mind after her final question. Through her sobs, she uttered one final phrase before going silent the rest of the day.

"I'm so fucked up"

XxX

Hokage office, Konohagakure, 3 days later at sundown

Man, what a drag. Why does Tsunade have to be so good at her job?

Although it did annoy him, he was truly grateful that Tsunade WAS as good at iryō ninjutsu as she was, else, he might have lost all his team on his last mission. He really didn't want to give this report so soon after the emotional roller coaster he's been on in the last 72 hours. At the very least he knew his teammates were going to make it.

Due to Tsunade's and Shizune's efforts, everyone on the retrieval mission is currently in stable conditions. Granted all but one were still unconscious but they would wake up eventually. Shikamaru had never felt as light as he did when he had heard the good news this morning.

His thoughts though soon turned to his little conversation that he had with the 2 genin from yesterday. He could feel the same anger start to swell in him, but he kept it down. Part of the reason for his feelings was seeing how close this mission could have been catastrophic. Even though he knew life as a shinobi was dangerous and everyone accepted the risks, it didn't mean it was easy to see your comrades in such states.

No, the primary reason for his anger was the pink haired kunoichi. She was the one who begged them to bring the Uchiha boy home and made Naruto promise he would. After bringing the Uchiha back, she repaid Naruto by utterly breaking him. Shikamaru would never understand what Naruto had ever seen in the unsympathetic women.

Giving out a small sigh, steeling his nerves, and readjusting his chūnin jacket for the umpteenth time, He raised his fist up to the door and gave it 2 knocks. Barely a second later he heard a reply coming from inside and opened the door.

He closed the door behind him as he strolled into the room and went right to the desk in the center of the room and gave a crisp bow of his upper body and called out "Hokage, I'm here to give my oral debriefing of my latest mission."

Tsunade replied with "Hai, you completed your objective, but I am curious as to how things turned south the way they did." She knew this wouldn't be the full report for now, given how some of the details are only known by shinobi who she just recently treated. She would just need to get those details as her former patients started to wake up.

Straightening his back, Shikamaru dove into every detail of the mission. How it started with their choice of formation for optimal perception. How they soon ran into the Sound 4 and were forced to fight them one-on-one to keep pace with the escaping Uchiha boy. The briefing eventually got to the valley of the end aftermath and Shikamaru did his best to go over every detail he could think of.

When the story got to the part of Naruto's death and resurrection, Tsunade's heart stopped for just a second. The boy, who was the big reason she came back to take up the position of Hokage, had died and it was on the very first mission she gave to him. She felt a pit in her stomach steadily growing as she heard more and more. She was going to need some sake after hearing all this.

It didn't take much longer for Shikamaru to finish his report, and he finally concluded it with, "and that is all I have in the official report Hokage." He then waited to see what feedback Tsunade would give to him. He felt a huge relief falling on him as he finished his oral report. He had been dreading this ever since he returned but now it was over.

Tsunade took a few moments to collect her thoughts before finally saying, "Very good Shikamaru, you did well for your first mission as team leader. I'll be expecting a full written report after the rest of your team wakes up." Tsunade let her words sink in for a bit before she continues, "ANBU, you are dismissed from here. I need to talk to Shikamaru about something in private."

This caused the Nara boys eyebrow to raise slightly. What could she possibly want to tell him that's off the official report? He then heard shuffling from around the room as the hidden ANBU followed their orders and vacated the room. Once Tsunade saw it was just the 2 of them, she used a fūinjutsu seal right in the middle of her desk that would prevent any sound from leaving the room.

Bringing her arms back to a more relaxed state, she looks back up to Shikamaru and comments, "Now that the official report is over, I want your unofficial thoughts on the mission. You may speak freely." Tsunade knew for a fact there were things troubling the pineapple hair chūnin. You don't come back from a mission like that and not receive mental scaring.

This took Shikamaru by surprise. He had not expected Tsunade to pick up on his doubts about the mission so easily. It was going to be tiresome for him, but he knows he won't be leaving this office any sooner if he says nothing. With a heavy sigh, he says, "I never realized just how hard leading a team could be. I-I almost lost my entire team out there and would have if not for you and Shizune." Shikamaru took a small break before continuing. "I don't know if I'm fit to be a shinobi, much less a leader." He finally said the words out loud that had been bouncing around his head ever since he returned. It felt good to finally have them out in the open.

Tsunade took some time to soak in the Nara boy's final words before taking a sigh of her own. She decided it would be best to respond to the boy with a question, "Tell me Shikamaru, what do you think would have happened if I had made someone else the leader of the unit?"

Shikamaru was taken back a little at the question posed to him. He started to formulate responses in his mind. He was about to respond to the question when Tsunade put her hand up, stopping him before he could utter a single world.

"You don't need to answer it, I will tell you what would have happened." Tsunade asserted to the pineapple haired chūnin. She then put her hand down on the desk and divulged to him, "Your entire team would have more than likely have died if not for your tactics and strategy." She held up her next words before continuing.

"I put you in charge of this operation for a reason and you did not disappoint me. Take this as a learning lesson for next time. Look back on ways you can improve so that your team will come back in better shape next time. Know this though, they will be fine and it's all thanks to you." Tsunade finally took a breath after her long speech. Once she got her breath again, she noticed the boy's body was no longer as tense as it was during his official report. She was glad that her words seemed to be taking hold of him.

"You are a damn fine shinobi Shikamaru, one of the smartest I have ever seen and eventually I know you will be the top mind in Konohagakure. I have the utmost faith in your abilities." Tsunade said this and then noticed the Nara boy put his head down. She then saw moisture fall onto the carpet he was standing on.

Shikamaru only let a few tears roll down his face before he readied himself and said, "T-Thank you Hokage, I won't let you down!" Shikamaru said with another bow to his leader. Her words helped him with his new resolve. He would train even harder now, so his earlier mission never has a repeat. Yes, he would train vigorously now...as long as it wasn't TOO troublesome.

After hearing those words from him, Tsunade chooses to wait a few seconds before talking to the boy again. "Now then, is there anything else you want to say before I dismiss you?" She added as she put both her hands under her chin and used them to rest her head.

Listening to her words, Shikamaru racked his brain to think of anything else his Hokage needed to know. Eventually, he came across something that she needed to know. "It would be best if you kept Sakura away from Naruto for the time being."

Now this got Tsunade's attention. She raised her eyebrow in a questioning manner and replied, "and why should they be kept separate?" Not knowing why he would say such a thing, she waited for his answer with rapt attention. The answer she got was not to her full liking.

"It would be best if either of the 2 explained it to you over me. This is between the 2 of them." Shikamaru declared, hoping this would be satisfactory enough for Tsunade. He really didn't want to have to explain what he saw in the hospital to anyone.

Lucky for Shikamaru, his answer was good enough. Tsunade nodded her head and said to the Nara boy, "Alright then, I understand. You are dismissed now. I want you to take at least a week off before you take another mission." The boy needed some more time to recover from his very first mission Tsunade thought to herself. The Nara boy gave her one final bow before pivoting on his feet and walked out of her office, closing the door behind him.

Tsunade undid the fūinjutsu seal on her office and heard the ANBU members silently take back their positions to protect the Hokage. Tsunade simply sat in her chair, reviewing in her mind all the words that had just spoken between the Nara boy and herself. She especially thought about Naruto dying and coming back to life, and Shikamaru's final words to her. She couldn't lose another person close to her like that again. She needed him to get stronger and fast so he could protect himself, not just from the Akatsuki but any other future threats.

What could have happened between Sakura and Naruto that they needed to be separated? That boy loved that girl with all his heart, Jiraiya had told me all the things Naruto said on their journey to get me and one thing he kept bringing up was Sakura. You don't think about a girl like that and not have feelings for them. Maybe Naruto finally passed a line that pissed off Sakura majorly.

Tsunade was brought back to reality with another knock on her door. Thankful for the distraction, she replied that they may enter. It seems her drinking would need to be put on hold for just a little longer. She turned her head to the door as it was opening and was a little surprised when she saw Jiraiya enter her office.

"Oh, Jiraiya, I wasn't expecting to see you today, I thought you would be with Naruto by now." Tsunade remarked as Jiraiya closed the door behind him.

"Well, I was doing...research for my next book for a while after Naruto left for his mission. I only just returned to Konohagakure a few hours ago." Jiraiya said, hoping Tsunade wouldn't pry too much into the 'research' part as he walked to the desk in the center of the room.

Tsunade had an irritated mark on her head as she remarked, "I'm sure it was VERY important research then." Tsunade scoffed at her former teammates lecherous ways. Having now shown him her annoyance at his antics, she continued the conversation, "Honestly, I hope Naruto doesn't take after your ways. He's still a boy after all."

Jiraiya brought one hand behind his back and with a toothy grin said out jokingly, "Hey, I'm not THAT bad of an influence on the younger generation. I have a lot of good stuff I can teach them about being a shinobi and about life too."

Tsunade could only groan at his statement. She knew he was a good man and probably the best shinobi Konohagakure had right now. She just wished that he would act more professional like his station would suggest. Nevertheless, she then voiced her next question. "So, what brings you to my office? If it's a social call I need to pass, I have a lot of paperwork to do right now that can't wait." She remarked as she gestured over to the mountain of paperwork to her right.

Jiraiya brought his hand down back to his side, the grin left his face as he became more serious. "Actually, training the next generation is exactly why I'm here." This gave him a curious glance from Tsunade. Jiraiya was finally ready to become a sensei again. But to who she wondered. The last person he trained was Minato Namikaze.

Wait that's it! He wants to train Naruto. I need him to get stronger for what he's about to face and now this blockhead in front of me is giving me the perfect opportunity to enact this plan.

Showing no signs of what she was just thinking of, she muttered to Jiraiya, "I assume that means you want to train Naruto, is that right?" She was going to have to burn it into Jiraiya's mind to ONLY teach Naruto shinobi ways and not 'of the ways of life' as Jiraiya would put it. She then followed up with "How long do you want to train the boy for?"

This brought a pause to the conversation as Jiraiya thought it over and came up with his answer. "Given that Orochimaru and the Akatsuki can't do anything to Naruto for the next 3 years, I figured that's how long I would take to train him up."

"Hmm, I can see the logic in that. The boy does indeed need to be stronger than he currently is if he is to survive." Tsunade said with a gloom look on her face. She really hated what the boy has gone through in his life and it's not going to get any easier for him.

"Ok Jiraiya, I accept this offer. Remember this though, ONLY teach him in the shinobi ways. If I get even a whiff that you are teaching him extra-curricular activities, he's coming back home, understand?" Tsunade told Jiraiya this with a dark glare in her eyes, telling him how serious she was about this.

Jiraiya had a sweat drop on the back of his head as Tsunade finished her statement. He suddenly just laughed in an awkward way, trying to diffuse the tension in the room that had just been created. When he regained his composure, he replied, "You have my word Tsunade, he will become the finest shinobi this village has ever seen. I have that much faith in him."

Tsunade looked at the man in front of her, trying to see if anything he had just said was a lie. Seeing no deception on his face, she gave a big sigh and spoke out loud, "Before you start this training, I want you to ask Naruto first if he would like to be trained by you. I want him on board with this as well."

Jiraiya knew that Naruto would say yes but he understood Tsunade's trepidation. "Well, I should go ask him right now then. Do you know where he's at by chance?"

Tsunade gave him a sour look and stated to him, "He's still in the main hospital recovering from his injuries. He's fine now but it will take him a few days before he's cleared."

This made Jiraiya sting a little bit. He didn't want to see his God son being hurt but it came with profession of being a shinobi. "Thanks for that information, I'll be heading out now." Jiraiya then turned around, opened the door, and walked out of there, seeking his future student.

XxX

Konohagakure main hospital, later that night

Sleep did not come easy for the blonde genin named Naruto Uzumaki. The tears had stopped a few days ago but the pain did not go away. Shikamaru had stopped by after his first departure to tell him the news that the rest of his teammates were doing fine now and would make full recoveries. Naruto finally had some good news come his way and he felt joy again, if only briefly. Shikamaru chatted with him for a bit before he needed to head home or the Nara boy's troublesome mom would have a fit with him. Naruto could only chuckle when his team leader brought up his mom. He was glad to have a friend like Shikamaru by his side.

Naruto was bewildered at his next guest though. It was Ino Yamanaka who brought flowers from her parent's flower shop to give to him, hoping it would cheer him up a bit. From her, Naruto learned what happened after he lost consciousness fighting Sasuke. He was sickened to learn that he did die out there but was brought back to life by Kakashi. His hand unconsciously went to the scar on his chest that had now fully healed due to the demon fox inside of him.

Shacking off the feeling of dread he was feeling, he continued chatting with his fellow blonde. It surprised them both how much they had in common and how many similar experiences they shared. They both laughed at stories the other would tell and generally had a good time chatting. They could feel a nice friendship growing between them. Sadly, she too had to go to as her parents would be wondering where she was. With a wave of her hand, she bid Naruto farewell.

The last person who came to see him today was a face he was getting familiar with, Hinata Hyūga. After the incident with his teammate a few days ago, Hinata had stayed by his side for hours while he continued to sob. He would be forever grateful to Hinata for being there during his darkest moment. She wasn't judging him nor scolding him, she was just there for him, and it made him feel good.

He eventually fell asleep in her arms after a few hours on that first night and when he awoke, he was tucked in on his hospital bed. She returned the next day, and they started chatting about everyday life. He noticed at first, she was extremely shy around him and wouldn't initiate much conversation or pick topics. It was a miracle when she would make eye contact with him. He enjoyed talking with her though and getting to know her better. He learned more about the Hyūga clan from her and more about Neji as well. That was yesterday's conversations though.

Today, he could tell she was more confident speaking with him. She started to initiate the conversations more, if only slightly more, and she could hold eye contact with him for more than a second before needing to turn away. She giggled when he retold the story of how the bell test with Kakashi went. Naruto found the giggle extremely cute. They talked for hours getting to know each other before she, like the other 2, had to go home.

Hinata, she's such a wonderful person. She's so cute when I see her blush, and that giggle just feels right. I'm now just realizing how much I'm leaning on her to get through this mess I'm in. I'll need to pay her back 1000-fold for all she's done for me these past few days. I wonder if she likes ramen.

Alone with his thoughts, they eventually came back to a certain pink haired kunoichi he once considered a dear friend.

How could she do that to me? I did what she wanted and brought her precious Sasuke back. Why? Why did she have to slap me and shatter my heart? I always did what she wanted and that's how she treats me. I-It hurts so much still. Why Kami why? What did I do wrong? Maybe, maybe it's for the best if we stop being friends.

He felt the hole in his stomach start to get wider the more he thought about her. While these thoughts were going through his stream of consciousness, he grabbed his chest and pulled himself up from his pillow as he felt his heart beat racing. A panic attack was starting to take hold of the blonde boy, but he was able to get himself under control. He slowly rested his head against his pillow and tried to get some shut eye. Fate though is a cruel mistress.

From the hospital window came Jiraiya and he said to his future student, "Gaki, long time no see." His eyes were then laid upon the other bed holding a certain Uchiha boy. "I see your mission was a success then, good for you!" Jiraiya uttered with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

Naruto could only reply with, "Pervy sage, you are here!" Naruto said this with some happiness in his eyes. It quickly went away when he heard mention of the other person in the room. "Ya, we did, but he still hasn't woken up yet." He hung his head as he said that, not wanting to remember that battle and its aftermath so soon.

Now that's odd. I figured he would be ecstatic to bring back his best friend. There's something I'm missing here. I'll have to pry later though. He doesn't seem to be in the best of moods right now.

"What happened to the rest of your team? You must have been roughed up pretty bad if you have been here a few days." Jiraiya voiced with a slightly more serious tone than his earlier greeting. He had now hoped from the windowsill and walked towards his God son.

Once Jiraiya got next to Naruto, he put his hand on his shoulder, gesturing for him to talk. Naruto sat up from his pillow and told Jiraiya about the mission. How they were forced to leave someone behind at each hurdle to continue. Until finally he reached Sasuke. He went over the big parts of the battle but didn't mention the big hole in his chest he took from the chidori. That is still a soft spot for him.

Naruto then went on to explain the injuries his other teammates suffered. Thankfully, he could tell Jiraiya that they would all make full recoveries. Once he was finished, he finally laid his head back down on the bed. His energy reserves almost depleted.

Jiraiya took this all in, pondering what to say next, until it finally came to him. "Take this as a lesson going forward. Let it fuel you to get stronger over these next 3 years."

"3 years? What do you mean by 3 years pervy sage?" Naruto retorted with his nickname for the pervy sage next to him. Jiraiya could only scowl at Naruto before he replied.

"I hate that name you know." Jiraiya could only let out a sigh now. He took the boys form in front of him. Although still covered in bandages, he was not hooked up to any machines, leading Jiraiya to believe he should be let out tomorrow. Yes, most of Naruto looked fine to Jiraiya, except for Naruto's cerulean, blue eyes. Gone was that youthful optimism. Although hope remained in his eyes, it was eclipsed by a solemn, haunting look of a man who had just been utterly broken down to his soul.

Continuing from his earlier dialogue, "3 years is how long you have before Orochimaru and the Akatsuki can make another move on you and Sasuke. It's why I'm here talking to you now." Jiraiya announced to the blonde shinobi in front of him in a serious tone.

"So, I have 3 years to prepare myself is what you are saying?" Naruto received a nod from the Sage. Naruto further said, "How do you think I should train over these 3 years then?"

The sannin now had a huge hulking grin on his face, "That's the thing, I'll be the one training you!" Jiraiya exclaimed with vigor. "You will be learning from the best shinobi in all of Konohagakure!"

"Wait, REALLY?! I'll be with you for 3 years?!" Naruto almost shouted, sitting completely back up and his energy reserves suddenly filled up again. Naruto was already thinking about all the new jutsu he was going to learn and master. He had already mastered the Rasengan so anything else the pervy sage could teach him must be equally as cool.

There's that optimism I was missing. His energy can be infectious at times. I can only hope he keeps this up with what I'll be putting him through.

Jiraiya cut off his thoughts so he could tell Naruto some more important news. "I've already cleared it with Tsunade so the only thing I need from you is your ok. Now remember Naruto, you will be gone for a whole 3 years traveling with me. You won't be seeing any of your team or friends during this time. It will get lonely for you at times. Are you prepared for this?" Jiraiya needed to make sure the boy knew what he was signing up for so he wouldn't beg to go home in the middle of training.

Naruto's energy levels suddenly dropped back down to almost zero. He laid himself back down on the bed and thought long and hard about what Jiraiya just said.

3 years. That's a long time to be away from home. Do I think I can handle it? I think so. The Akatsuki won't be sitting around doing nothing, they will continue to get stronger, so I need to as well.

Suddenly his thoughts came back to his pink haired former crush. He thought of all the pain she put him through not just a few days ago but all the times before that as well. He feared that if he stayed here for much longer, the agony he was feeling would just continue grow. He needed to get away from this place to heal as much as possible. Time heals all wounds they say, maybe it will fix his broken heart caused by the love of his life.

"Pervy sage, I don't need to think about this decision any longer. I'll go with you and become the greatest Hokage this village has ever seen!" Naruto again almost shouted, showing the resolve of his decision.

This brought a huge smile to the mug of Jiraiya. "Well said gaki. Now, I need to spend 5 days in Konohagakure to finish up some personal items before we head out. Given how you look you should be out of here tomorrow. This will also give you time to say goodbye to all those you care about." Jiraiya affirmed his decision.

"Should we meet at the main gate at noon 5 days from now then?" Naruto spat out, starting to get excited for his new adventure.

"That sounds like a plan to me. Now get some rest gaki, you need to make sure you get out of here tomorrow." With that Jiraiya turned around and slowly walked away from Naruto right back the way he came. He gave one last look at his God son and went off into the night.

I have 3 years under pervy sage to get better. I hope that's enough time. Sasuke's brother and that shark man were uber powerful. I could never hope to beat them the way I am now. I really hope I will forget the anguish I felt a few days ago. It's for the best that I split with Sakura. She doesn't want me around anymore.

With these final thoughts, Naruto finally succumbed to the night and slept. Unknown to him though, his roommate was no longer in the realm of unconsciousness.

---

Authors notes

First things first. The basic premise from this is not my own. That idea belongs to Gravenimage from his story "Am I worthy to love you?". I did change though how naruto reacted in a big way because for me, it hurts way worse to remember how sad you made someone you cared about over them being angry at you. I really loved his premise from the beginning and really wanted to take it my own way. My story will be completely different from the one he wrote (He's actually given up on everything naruto for the past 9 years now and abandoned all his naruto fics). One last comparison between Gravenimages fic and mine. This one will NOT end up in a harem. Naruto will end up with ONE woman only.

I'll be up front with you all. This is the first time I have EVER written any fan fiction and the first time I have written at this length in my life. Not even my college papers were this long.

My current work is in the Computer Science field so I have very little writing experience outside the required classes I was forced to take. I'm hoping a few people will enjoy this first chapter. I have the next few chapters in my head with the scenes I want to write. I also have the story in broad strokes with what I want to happen as well. The ending I have in mind is similar to an old Evangelion fan fiction I read in my high school years (This fic was started and completed before 9/11 happened). I'm curious if anyone will guess this fic or not. Anyways please leave comments on how I can improve my writing. I'd really appreciate the help as I only do this in my free time.