A/N: Again, this chapter isn't much different, but we do get to see Stormo and Goliad in this chapter, even though it is only a cameo. Plus, we get to see how Rachel's disguise would look in the incognito operation.

Adventure Time with Finn, Jake, & Rachel

Chapter 28: Princess Cookie

One day, two candy helicopters were hovering above Finn, Jake, Rachel, and Princess Bubblegum, who were hiding behind a Banana Guard barricade in front of a candy store in the Candy Kingdom. Inside the building was a cookie named Baby Snaps, holding several candy people hostage and walking around with a cudgel, of all things. He squinted through the glass door, muttering.

"Donkin' Princess..."

Princess Bubblegum then spoke out through a megaphone.

"Okay, okay. How about I give you a big cowboy hat? Then will you let the hostages go?"

But Baby Snaps only exited the store to answer her, brandishing his cudgel.

"No! No! Don't play games with me, Princess. I want that crown. No crown, no hostages.", Baby Snaps snapped.

"Well, obviously that's going to be a problem, because I'm the princess and I need my crown. So...", Bonnie began.

"No, Princess! You're a problem—the problem princess!", Baby Snaps interrupted, beat. "Just gimme that crown!"

He then went back inside.

"Why does he want your crown anyway, Princess?", Jake asked.

"Yeah, what's his beef?", Finn asked.

"I don't know, guys—he's crazy.", Bonnie responded.

"Well, crazy or not, he's acting like you did him wrong, somehow.", Rachel stated.

"Still, he's left me no choice. I'm sending in the banana guards. It's about to turn crazy nasty.", Bonnie said before raising a walkie-talkie to her ear.

"Hello. Captain Banana Guard?", Bonnie began before Jake took the phone.

"Wait a second, Princess. Why don't me, Rae-Rae, and Finn just sneak in there incognito and neutralize the threat, old-fashioned spy guy-style?", Jake suggested.

"Hmm. Okay, but if you guys aren't out of there by 4:00, I'm sending in the guards.", Bonnie warned, pointing to her watch.

"Okay, guys. Any ideas?", Rachel asked.

"Okay, I was thinkin' I could dress up like a mailman.", Jake suggested, shape-shifting to look like said mailman.

"Yeah. Yeah, and I could wear all black and I could be like, you know, like, your shadow.", Finn suggested.

"Oh! And maybe I could dress up as an ice cream lady.", Rachel added.

Bonnie thought about it as Stormo and Goliad were seen having a psychic battle at present, neither one making a physical move as of yet.

"Hmm. I can't really see that working.", Bonnie said.

"Yeah, the shadow thing might be pushin' it.", Jake said.

"Oh, no-no-no, that part's fine. I was talking about you dressing up like a mailman.

"What? But I always wanted to be a mailman.", Jake groaned.

"Wait, is that true?", Rachel asked.

"Mm-hmm.", Jake nodded sadly.

"Nah, you don't look like a mailman. You look like a milkman. Let's get you a proper milkman outfit.", Bonnie suggested.

"Mmm...", Jake groaned.

"Sorry, Jake...", Rachel apologized sympathetically.

Later, he, Rachel, and Finn put on their respective disguises. While Finn laid on the ground behind Jake, pretending to be his shadow, Rachel got her ice cream cart.

"You ready?", Jake asked.

"Yeah. Let's bust it.", Finn said, slipping on his shadow mask.

Then, the trio entered the candy store.

"Hello.", Jake greeted.

"'Hello'?! Who the heck are you?", Baby Snaps asked, waving his cudgel. "I'm gonna smash your face."

"Uhh, milkman, sir. I brought the milk—for the hostages, sir.", Jake said.

"And I, uh, brought some ice cream. Also for the hostages.", Rachel added.

"Huh? Oh. I thought maybe you guys were spy guys or somethin'. Go ahead, give everyone some milk and ice cream, then get the math outta here.", Baby Snaps said.

"Yes, sir.", Jake agreed.

He started passing out bottles of milk to the hostages while Rachel followed him.

"Milk, sir?", Jake asked.

"Thanks.", a marshmallow thanked.

"Milk?", Jake asked.

"Thanks.", a candy person said.

"Milk?", Jake asked.

"Thank you.", Marc thanked.

"And here are those neat little frozen treats for ya.", Rachel said, handing them to the hostages.

"Some milk?", Jake asked to the upside-down ice cream guy.

"Psst! Get ready, guys. When we get to the cookie, you throw some milk in his face and yell, 'Alvin's hot juice box. Alvin's hot juice box.' He'll be really confused, and that's when we grab him and tie him up-style.", Finn said before static was heard coming from Cookie's radio.

"Uh, maybe you'd wanna hold off on that for now?", Rachel suggested.

"Come in, Cookie. This is Chipper. Over.", Chipper said.

"Go ahead, Chipper. Over.", Baby Snaps said.

"I'm too short to lock the back door. Over.", Chipper said.

"Hold tight, Chipper. Chipler's on his way.", Baby Snaps assured.

He turned around and strained, popping a chocolate chip out of his back.

"You got that, Chipler?"

"Affirmative.", Chipler said, jumping away.

"Did you hear that?", Jake asked.

"Yeah. Change of plans—I'll go take care of those chips. You find an opening to rescue the hostages, Rae-Rae, and while she's doing that, Jake, you keep the cookie distracted.", Finn whispered.

"Yeah. I can do that.", Jake assured.

"Okay, awesome.", Finn grinned.

He scooted along the floor toward the back of the store as Jake continued handing out milk.

"Milk? Milk?", Jake asked before approaching Baby Snaps as Rachel looked around and then whispered to the hostages.

"Okay, guys. Get in here one at a time and I'll cart you out of here. Okay?", Rachel whispered.

"Milk? Some milk?", Jake asked as he sat down next to him.

"What? Oh. Look, you should probably split, buddy. Things are about to get pretty flipped out in here.", Baby Snaps warned.

"Oh, sure. Sorry, man. I was just trying to get away from that rotten Princess Bubblegum for a while, y'know? Isn't she just the worst?", Jake asked.

"Wait, you hate Princess Bubblegum, too? Get outta here!", Baby Snaps said in surprise.

"Oh, yeah, man, she's the worst. Sittin' out there all safe and cozy while I'm riskin' my life tootin' around in here in this stupid milkman costume.", Jake said.

"Wait—costume?!", Baby Snaps said, shocked.

"Oh, um... I just mean it feels like a costume... 'cause I wanted to be a mailman so bad, ya see? But the princess—she made me be a milkman anyway.", Jake explained as Rachel looked out to see Jake and Baby Snaps talking.

"Boy, I hear ya, brother."

"Cookie, you there? Over.", a voice asked over the walkie talkie.

"Yeah. Go ahead, Chipolina. Over.", Baby Snaps said.

"I just saw a light go on in the stock room—probably nothing. I'll check it out. Over.", Chipolina said.

"Okay. Over.", Baby Snaps said.

Chipolina was shown entering the stock room in which a lit nightlight was in the standing middle of the room. She looked around before walking up to it.

"Hmm. Looks like a false alarm, Cookie. It's just some kid's Baby Snuggleghost nightlight. Hee-yah!"

Chipolina kicked it away, not knowing that Finn was on the ceiling above Chipolina before, after a moment, dropping down, landing on Chipolina.

"ALVIN'S HOT JUICE BOX! ALVIN'S HOT JUICE—"

Meanwhile, as Rachel guided the hostages inside the vacant cart, she saw Jake and Baby Snaps talking.

"So what's your story, man? How'd she doodie on you?", Jake asked before Baby Snaps sighed.

"I was just a kid, man, just a little kid, when I got doodied on."

A flashback started, showing several candy children lying around in a room with cracks in the walls.

"I was the new guy at the Candy Orphanage. They called me Baby Snaps. I tried to make friends with the other kids...", Baby Snaps began as his younger self started dancing.

"C'mon, guys, let's dance it up!"

"They were always too depressed to play.", Baby Snaps stated.

"No, no. We're too depressed."

Sad, Baby Snaps stopped dancing and later sat on the couch, depressed.

"Things went on like that for a while, then... one day..."

Peppermint Butler opened the door to the orphanage for Princess Bubblegum.

"...she showed up."

From the sight of her, the candy orphans laughed and danced around the chair in which Princess Bubblegum was sitting and reading, "Baby Whoozlefut & the Wuttlebugs" aloud, ironically the same book Simon used to have back when he was Ice King.

"Everything was different."

"...a thunderous cheer as Baby Whoozlefut...", Bonnie said as she turned the page.

"Everything was-was better with her around. And something inside me changed that day, too. And then later, she told me I could be anything I wanted."

"Anything your sweet heart desires!", Bonnie assured.

"And I told her I wanted to be a princess like her, so I could make all the children happy.", Baby Snaps explained.

"I wanna be a princess like you!", Young Baby Snaps said, sitting on Bubblegum's lap.

But from hearing this, Princess Bubblegum stifled a giggle. As a result, Baby Snaps' smile changed to a shocked frown.

"And she laughed in my face, man! It really messed me up.", Baby Snaps said before the flashback ended and he was now crying silently.

Rachel felt just as bad for him as Jake did.

"Dang, Bonnie, that's cold...", Rachel frowned.

"Holy shmow, man. That's terrible. That's really terrible. Listen, I—", Jake began before Baby Snaps cried a bit louder now.

"She LIED to me!"

"Yeah, but, maybe she didn't realize how much it meant to you.", Jake assured.

But furiously, Baby Snaps stood up.

"No! She just wants to hog all the princessin' for herself!", Baby Snaps shouted before he spoke over the radio.

"All chips, report in. It's time to get real! Over."

But there was no response.

"Chips. Chips. Over."

Again, there was no response.

"Chips! Where are my chips?! Chipolina! Chipler! Chipton! Chipper! Is anyone there?! Chipface? Something happened to my chips!"

Panicked and furious, Baby Snaps smashed his walkie talkie against the ground, breaking it into pieces with a shout before panting heavily.

"Uh..., maybe I'd better go.", Rachel said, starting to leave with her cart as Baby Snaps was starting to panic.

"I'm about to flip out, man... and take that crown!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait! It doesn't have to be like this! You don't need that crown. You could start over, man. You can start a new kingdom—your own kingdom... where everyone can be whatever they wanna be. I can be the mailman... and you? You can be the princess. And—", Jake began in assurance as Rachel stopped her cart near the entrance before she could take another step.

"My own kingdom?", Baby Snaps asked.

"Yeah, man.", Jake assured.

"I... I'd like that.", Baby Snaps grinned.

Rachel grinned a bit, too.

"Okay, then. Just sit tight, Princess. I'll get us outta here.", Jake assured.

"Actually, why don't you leave that to me?", Rachel asked.

"Huh? Ice cream lady?", Baby Snaps puzzled as Rachel walked to the front of the store and waved through the glass doors.

"Yo, PB! We're comin' out!", Rachel shouted.

"What?", Bonnie asked.

Jake and Rachel then walked out through the doors toward her, cart and all.

"Jake? Jake, what's going on? Where's Finn? Where are the hostages?

"Don't worry, Princess. It's okay, now.", Rachel assured.

"Yeah. Princess Cookie's gonna go away. You just gotta give him a horse to escape with and he'll go.", Jake assured.

"Right... and then you, Rae-Rae, and Finn hunt him down and put him in the dungeon."

"Wait, what?!", Rachel asked in shock.

"No, wait. He said he'd go away forever.", Jake said.

"He was just dealt a bad hand in life. Can't we just let him go?", Rachel asked.

"No.", Bonnie refused. "That cookie is a menace. Once the hostages are safe, Cookie goes in my dungeon - in my dungeon - for his life."

Bonnie then turned and walked away before Jake and Rachel sighed.

"Guess it's a bad time to tell her that the hostages are secure...", Rachel said.

Speaking of which, one of them popped out.

"Can we get out now?", Marcy asked.

Later, Jake and Baby Snaps were exiting the candy store, although he still held his cudgel.

"Oh, boy! Would ya look at that?", Baby Snaps asked in amazement.

A strange candy horse was shown and around its waist is a banana guard-esque band and protruding from its belly is a hand holding a spear. Princess Bubblegum, Rachel, and a banana guard were standing next to it.

"Dang!", Baby Snaps said.

"Okay, well... she's all yours!", Bonnie said.

"Hot diggity...!", Baby Snaps said before starting to walk toward it only for Jake to stop him.

"Ah- ah-ah! That horse ain't no good; that's a trap horse.", Jake warned.

The horse's pupils dilated and its tongue stuck out as Rachel sighed in relief.

"What are we gonna do?", Baby Snaps asked.

"It's okay, man, I'm Jake. J-J-J-Jingo Jango!", Jake assured, stretching into a horse underneath Baby Snaps, lifting him onto his back and making him drop his cudgel.

"Whoa! Ha HA! You're magic!", Baby Snaps said in amazement.

Jake then jumped toward some banana guards, toppling them as Baby Snaps laughed. He even jumped over the wall of the Candy Kingdom.

"After them!", Bonnie shouted.

"Good luck, Jake...", Rachel sighed, watching with the hostages (who are now wrapped in blankets).

Meanwhile, Jake and Baby Snaps rode past the Cotton Candy Forest.

"We're really doing it!", Baby Snaps laughed.

Finn then appeared in Jake's shadow and hopped onto Jake's back behind Baby Snaps, unbeknownst to the latter. Of course, Jake moved his face between Finn and Baby Snaps to talk to the former.

"Jake! What are you doing?! What happened to the plan?", Finn asked.

"New plan—I'm gonna help Princess Cookie escape.", Jake responded.

"What? But-but he's a criminal!", Finn said in shock.

"No, man, Princess Cookie's a good guy. He just got dealt a bad hand. He's only trying to be what following how his dreams make you want to be, man!", Jake retorted.

"Whaaaat?", Finn asked.

"You're either with us or against us.", Jake explained.

"Um... 'gainst?", Finn replied.

Jake quickly pushed him off.

"WAAAH! Oof."

Baby Snaps laughed as several banana guards were seen chasing after them, even as they crossed a shallow river.

"Hold on tight, Cookie! I'm gonna jump the gorge!", Jake assured.

A ravine was shown ahead of them. But then, as if he realized what he was doing, Baby Snaps' smile disappeared.

"No, Jake. Stop the horse.", Baby Snaps urged.

But Jake was still running at full tilt.

"I can make it!"

Baby Snaps hurriedly pulled on Jake's skin like reins, causing Jake to fall and throw him towards the edge of the ravine in doing so. Jake shape-shifted back to normal (with the exception of his hind legs) and ran over to Baby Snaps.

"Princess Cookie! Are you all right?", Jake asked.

"I'm done for, Jake.", Baby Snaps only replied as meanwhile, the banana guards got closer.

"No, everything's gonna be fine. I won't let them put you in the dungeon. Just let me talk to them.", Jake assured before running off.

"No, Jake.", Baby Snaps refused before Jake stopped and turned back.

"Thank you for your help, but it's too late for me.", Baby Snaps began as he stood up.

The banana guards were now shown crossing the river.

"I'll never be a princess. At least for a moment, you helped me feel like a princess. It was wonderful.", Baby Snaps said, shedding a tear. "Thank you, Jake."

Baby Snaps took a step back and a piece of dirt crumbled under his foot and fell into the ravine.

"Careful, Princess!", Jake warned.

"You know what? It's funny, but you sort of remind me of a mailman I used to know.", Baby Snaps said softly.

"I do?", Jake asked just as softly.

"Yep."

With that, he let himself fall backwards into the ravine.

"Princess!", Jake shouted as he looked over the ledge.

It went black as Baby Snaps fell, slo-mo, and crashed to the bottom.

Later, several Banana guards were standing around and taking pictures of Cookie's shattered remains at the bottom of the gorge.

"I glubbed up!", Baby Snaps said.

Later, Jake, dressed as a mailman, was walking up to the Candy Kingdom Mental Hospital. Inside, Baby Snaps was in a straitjacket playing chess with Chocolate Covered Banana. One of his chips moved the pieces for him.

"Knight to E-5.", Baby Snaps said.

Jake entered and spoke to Doctor Princess.

"Where's Baby Snaps?", Jake asked, making Baby Snaps widen his eyes in surprise.

Doctor Princess then pointed him out.

Jake walked over to Baby Snaps.

"Excuse, me! Your highness!", Jake called before Baby Snaps turned and saw him.

"Jake!", Baby Snaps gasped happily before Jake hugged him.

"Oh, hey. Check it out!", Jake said, groping around in his mail bag. "Special delivery from the Grass Kingdom!"

Jake then pulled out a flower twisted into a tiara. The patients and Baby Snaps gasped before Jake placed it on Baby Snaps' head, took off his hat, and genuflected.

"He's a princess? I had no idea. Royalty!", various patients said in amazement before they approached Baby Snaps as Rachel, Finn, and Princess Bubblegum were shown peeking in through the door.

Baby Snaps sighed contentedly and smiled as the patients surrounded Cookie and bowed or genuflected to him as well.