A/N: Now, this is where this time, Magic Man picks a different target to switch places with. And there'd be two special people that would appear only in the Land of the Dead this time: two of which are voiced by Ernie Hudson and the late Betty White.
Adventure Time with Finn, Jake, & Rachel
Chapter 30: Sons of Mars
It all started one day as a Stag walked in a forest, crossing a train track.
And who should spot it but a cloaked and disguised Magic Man, who whistled to the stag.
"Hey, friend. Don't be afraid. I'm a gypsy child like you, running wild and crazy!", Magic Man said before laughing.
But then, he suddenly looked in the sky, surprised.
"Hold on, wow... a falling star. Hm, it's too far though."
Curious, he pulled off his cloak, revealing who he really is, and turned the Stag into a telescope.
"MAGIC! You're welcome."
He then tried to get a good focus on the "star".
"Hm... oh... there... wait!", Magic Man spoke before realizing it was his four brothers, Grob, Gob, Glob, and Grod.
"Oh, Glob."
"He's here somewhere, my brothers. Glob, can you see Magic Man on the sensor?", Gob asked to Glob.
"Yes, Gob. Our little brother is very close.", Glob replied.
"Hey, flip me!", Grob urged.
"Okay.", Glob said before flipping Grob's head on the front.
"I'm gonna activate the thingy that drains his magic juice.", Grob said before activating the device.
Magic Man was seen glowing and in pain before he, along with the telescope, fell down.
"My juice!", Magic Man groaned before wiggling his fingers, noticing right away that his magic is out of wack.
"Not... flowing... right...! Dream on, honey! You can't catch this!"
He started running and then jumped into the air, doing a continuous somersault.
"Magic, away!"
He disappeared momentarily only to reappear before falling to the ground.
"Whoops!"
"I think I see him.", Grob said.
"Yes, I see him as well.", Grod said.
"Hey, guys?", Glob asked.
"What, Glob?", the other heads asked.
"...Nothing, never mind.", Glob spoke.
Magic Man panted as he ran away.
In the meantime, Finn, Jake, and Rachel were walking through the forest.
"Wait, wait!", Jake shouted before stopping.
"Shh, shh, shh! Shush!"
"I wasn't...", Finn began.
"You hear that?", Jake asked.
After a brief moment, Rachel heard a sound.
"Huh? Wait. I think I hear it, too.", Rachel said, hearing footsteps.
"And it sounds like...", Rachel began before the sound grew louder.
"It's coming right for us!", Rachel shouted as she noticed Magic Man headed right for her and her two friends in his panic.
It wasn't long before Magic Man ran straight into the trio, knocking himself and them down with Grob Gob Glob Grod still in pursuit.
Magic Man groaned before noticing Grob Gob Glob Grod.
"Aah!"
Then, he noticed Rachel.
"Ooh! Waaa-zoo!", with that, he turned Rachel into a copy of himself as Finn and Jake awakened in time to see this, especially as he then turned into Rachel himself.
"Hey...", Finn said.
"Wait, what?", Jake said in shock.
"Shhh.", Magic Man shushed before throwing a rock to knock out Finn and Jake before then pretending to be asleep next to Finn and Jake.
It was then that Grob Gob Glob Grod spoke to Rachel, now a copy of Magic Man, lifting her up.
"Arise.", Grob said as Rachel woke up.
"Magic Man. You caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars. We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our Utopian supersociety. Now, tell us, what have you learned in these past two hundred years?", Gob asked.
"Huh? Magic Man? What do you guys mean?", Rachel, as a copy of Magic Man, asked.
"You know you made life on Mars a nightmare!", Glob glared.
"Guys, I'm not Magic Man. I'm...", Rachel began before she noticed how she looks like Magic Man, screaming in surprise.
"Oh, glob! How did this happen?!", Rachel exclaimed.
Finn and Jake woke up in time to see Rachel panicking.
"Now we must return you to Mars, where vengeance awaits thee.", Gob said.
"What?!", Rachel exclaimed.
"Rae-Rae... Oh, no!", Jake said in worry.
"That's not-", Finn began before Grob Gob Glob Grod blasted off with Rachel.
"Magic Man, you donk! GET UP!", Jake shouted, smashing him with his fist before he, as Rachel, popped up.
"Did it work? Is he gone?", Magic Man asked.
"They took my friend to Mars! Fly us there and help us save her!", Finn demanded.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't.", Magic Man said rather sarcastically.
"And why not?!", Jake barked.
"Because, look. See?", Magic Man said, wiggling his fingers.
"The transfer drained me. I can probably barely float.", Magic Man said, barely floating.
"So, I just gotta wait till they kill your friend! See ya!", Magic Man mocked before he ran away laughing stupidly.
But that enraged both Finn and Jake as the latter roared and grabbed him, but not without growing into a giant.
"What do you mean, KILL?", Finn asked.
"They're gonna put her on trial for my crimes! Ain't nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head. Not even the King of Mars! And once she's dead, my magic juice will return to my body. Flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance.", Magic Man explained.
Jake growled angrily before squeezing Magic Man.
"I wish I could help. Except I don't!", Magic Man said.
"YOU SON OF A BLEE-BLOP!", Finn screamed right into Magic Man's ears right before attacking him in a fit of violent rage, clouded only by... well, a literal fight cloud.
Even Jake was surprised by that much rage Finn was exercising.
"Oh, man...!", Jake said.
When the cloud disappeared, Magic Man now has a black eye, at least for the moment.
"Yeesh! I can't tell if you're that miffed over what happened the last time we met, or what happened this time.", Magic Man said before Finn grabbed Magic Man's arm and started bending it toward his back. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay! So, it's this time then."
"Unless you want me to break more than your arm, you're gonna tell us how to save her! NOW!", Finn snapped.
"All right, all right! If it'll get you to stop goin' feral and breakin' my bones and everything.", Magic Man said before he started singing.
"C'mon, let's go to my house. C'MON, LET'S GO TO MY HOUSE!"
"Where is your house?", Jake asked.
"Just right over there.", Magic Man said.
"Oh, cool.", Jake said, stomping over there.
A moment after, they arrived at the house, which is a wreck.
"How long have you lived in this house?", Jake asked.
"Yes, that is true!", Magic Man said.
"Eh, I don't follow ya.", Jake said, shrinking back down.
Then, all four went inside the house.
"Well, I bet there's something in here that could help us save Rae-Rae.", Finn said.
"There is, but you'll never make it work.", Magic Man discouraged.
"What?! Where is it?", Finn shouted before he began kicking aside the garbage frantically.
"I don't know! Have you seen my trash palace?", Magic Man said, peeling off a wallpaper.
"Yeah, what's the deal, man? This place is wrecked.", Jake said.
"Eeeew, ew! What am I stepping in?", Finn groaned.
"That's where I blow my nose all day!", Magic Man responded.
Finn reacted in disgust as he lifted his shoe, a trail of boogers sliding down from it.
"That's disgusting, man!", Jake groaned.
"Yes, welcome to my tower of light! Everyone is welcome to share this magic kingdom. Squirrels, black mold, worms, poison ivy... tiny manticore!", Magic Man said, gesturing to said manticore in a bottle.
"Help me, you coward!", the manticore demanded.
"Magic Man, what is your deal for real?", Finn asked.
"You tell me.", Magic Man responded.
"Well, for one, I think this house is a reflection of your sick brain.", Finn guessed as Jake took a photo of Magic Man with an unknown woman off the wall.
"He's actually got a good point, there. Look at this. Yuk. Who's this you're standing with in this picture?", Jake asked as Magic Man sang.
"Memories drift in and out of my mind...
And the little people get left behind...
So whatever!"
"Okay.", Jake said before tossing aside the picture.
"Well, we're gonna keep digging through this stuff 'til we find what you're taking about.", Finn said.
"It's downstairs.", Magic Man said.
"What?", Finn and Jake asked in unison.
"My special thing.", Magic Man said before he jumped over to wall and put his hand in a crack, moving it around enough to hurt his hand, making himself writhe in pain.
"Holy crepes."
"I can't help but feel it'd be worse if we saw Rae-Rae actually like that.", Jake added.
"Aah!", Magic Man shouted before the wall opened.
"Tada! C'mon."
So, they all exited through the open wall.
"That's the thing. My special thing. A Martian transporter.", Magic Man said, pointing to the odd machine.
"Whoa! Really?!", Jake said excitedly.
"This can take us to Mars?!", Finn added.
"Yeah. My brothers gave it to me when they banished me to earth. They thought I'd learn love and use it to go back home.", Magic Man explained.
"How does it work?", Finn asked.
"You put your hands on those thingies and think stuff about people. [Finn does so] But it's broken! Hasn't worked in 200 years.", Magic Man said as Finn did so while Jake shrunk and accompanied him on his shoulder.
"But... It has to work. It has to.", Finn said sadly before closing his eyes.
"For Rae-Rae..."
Suddenly, the transporter lit up and started working.
"Huzzah...?!"
In no time, Finn and Jake were rocketed through the roof into outer space.
"WHOOOOOOAAA!", Finn and Jake shouted before they arrived on Mars and saw a huge dome with Grob Gob Glob Grod, Rachel, and Abe Lincoln in it.
"Come on, dude. Let's hoof it.", Jake urged, turning into a horse before Finn hopped on and Jake galloped over to the dome.
"Citizens of Mars, King of Mars...", Gob began before Abe Lincoln raised his hand.
"Today the most notorious fiend in Martian history stands before us—Magic Man."
Finn and Jake then reached the dome and looked in.
"Stop!", Finn shouted.
"Hey, man, you got the wrong guy. That's not him, man!", Jake shouted.
"Finn, hop on!", Jake urged before Finn clung onto his back and he stretched.
"Turn on the dark.", Gob spoke before it grew darker and they projected a blank screen on the wall.
"Okay, so we don't have footage of these crimes. But Grod's pretty good at drawing, so...", Gob began before Grod drew and Gob narrated as the drawings were then shown. "Plague of shadows. Magic Man brought our shadows to life. They attacked us, and ravaged Mars. Very impressive, Grod."
"Thanks bro.", Grod thanked as the drawings were then sprayed and wiped away before more drawings appeared, displaying even more crimes, much to Rachel's shock.
"To the plague of the oneness. As we gathered to hold hands and sing our community song, Magic Man cast an evil spell that made our arms grow together. Much suffering ensued."
"What...?!", Rachel said in shock.
"And what about that one time when he turned all the water into hair, and we all got so thirsty we drank it? And when we drank it, we went bald!"
"Dang... Magic Man was even more messed up than I thought he was...", Rachel said to herself.
"Many of us did not recover and to this day, hide our losses behind groovy headgear.", Gob added before touching his headgear.
"Dark off please."
The light was then turned on again.
"Magic Man, it bums me out to see this. I remember when you were really cool, before that night you spent on Olympus Mons with Margles.", Abe Lincoln spoke just as Finn and Jake reached the top of the building.
"Aw, man. Force field.", Finn said, tapping the dome.
"What happened, Magic? Why did you go crazy? If you had just learned to care about living things again, you could have come back whenever you wanted!"
"Really? He could ha... I could have...?", Rachel said before groaning a bit in confusion, given her situation.
"Yes... Instead, you bummed around Ooo, acting like a jerk for 200 years.", Abe Lincoln said.
"Well..., you're not wrong. Except recently, Magic Ma... I found someone who just happened to actually appreciate the gift of being a belly. In fact, I have the memory of a young, magical girl with a magic tiara having a fun time with that to prove it.", Rachel said. "She adapted into it very well. I can still feel myself getting crushed by the bounce-happy girl to this day. I can respect that. It kinda reminds me of the time when I had to adapt myself."
This baffled the crowd in the seats as they murmured.
"The point being, the girl I gave the gift to is Rachel Petrikov. And she asked me to tell you, King of Mars, that she'd like to thank you for helping a boy named Finn and would also like to meet you one day.", Rachel said as she curtseyed for a moment before standing up. "Maybe she already has. And as for everyone here on Mars, I know you might not want to hear this, but... I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you on Mars 200 years ago. For that, I take full responsibility. Still, I'm gonna miss Earth. And Finn, too. He'd be messed up if I wasn't around."
"Wait. Did you say you would miss someone?", King of Mars asked.
"Well, yeah.", Rachel replied.
"And that someone would miss you?", King of Mars asked.
"Definitely.", Rachel nodded.
Frankly, the King of Mars was a bit surprised as was Gob Grob Glob Grod.
"Is this a trick? Because you sound more... sincere.", Gob said.
"Yes. Almost as sincere as from before that night on Olympus Mons...", King of Ooo added before piecing together whatever clues he could notice.
"You are that girl, aren't you?", King of Mars guessed, surprising the crowd.
"Huh? How'd you know?", Rachel asked.
"I not only rule over Mars with a fair hand, but I also see everything happening in Ooo, as well. How else would I know whether or not Magic Man had changed down there?", the King of Mars responded. "I figured he'd try something to get back at ya, but I never thought he'd do this."
"Well, do you know of a way that I can get myself back to normal?", Rachel asked.
King of Mars thought for a moment.
"Yes. But sadly, the only way I know of is one of the 2 choices of punishment as per the norm for the guilty.", King of Mars said.
"What?!", Rachel said in shock.
"Now! Ready the Wand of Disbursement!", King of Mars shouted.
"Ready.", Grob Gob Glob Grod said, holding up said wand.
"Space Dome, open!", King of Mars shouted before the dome split open with Finn and Jake on it.
"Oh, snap.", Finn said.
"Huh?", Jake added before he and Finn fell off.
"Listen. I will give you two choices. One is total annihilation. The wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with Death. The second is to use the power of the wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos, on an endless journey of wonder and DISCOVERYYYYYY!", King of Mars began. "But since you were framed, once the punishment is dealt, it should also help you restore your body back to how it was before, either way. And then, I will come pick you up. With this."
The King of Mars then held out a penny with his likeness on it.
"Does it really work?", Rachel asked.
"You'd be surprised how often it does. Of course, in case it doesn't, I'll offer something more than that. But either way, you will be brought back.", King of Mars assured.
"Really?", Rachel asked.
"Yes. Just as soon as we enhance it so that the punishment is temporary. About 2-5 minutes, maximum.", King of Mars said.
"Your Majesty, that's kind of you, but... are you sure about this?", Rachel asked as Finn and Jake got back up and gasped, seeing a scene that led to a misunderstanding.
"I must make things right. Gob. Is the wand enhanced yet?", King of Mars asked.
"Almost, your highness.", Gob said.
But just then, Jake roared as he and Finn charged into battle.
"Oh, no, you don't, you dishrags!", Finn shouted.
"Finn?!", Rachel said in surprise.
While riding on Jake, Finn tossed a chair at Grob Gob Glob Grod, hitting him and making him drop the wand. Rachel yelped as the wand accidentally touched her.
"Uh-oh.", Jake said before Rachel screamed in pain as she radiated a purple aura and then died before turning back into herself just as back on Earth, Magic Man also turned back to normal, powers and all.
"I win again, just like always!", Magic Man grinned.
In the Land of the Dead, Rachel found herself transported to the area near Death's Castle.
"Whoa... Death's castle. I can't remember what happened the last time I've been there."
Curious and full of wonder, Rachel stepped inside toward Death's castle. There, she saw Death himself.
"Hello, Rae-Rae.", Death greeted.
"Death...", Rachel said before noticing what he was doing.
"Huh. Nice zen garden you got there.", Rachel said.
"Thanks. You know, your old folks appreciate it, too.", Death responded.
"Really? How do you know my mom and dad?", Rachel asked.
"Not those two. I meant these two.", Death said, gesturing toward the 2 people that made Rachel gasp and tear up in surprise and joy.
"Grandma...? Grandpa...?!", Rachel squealed.
Meanwhile, Finn and Jake ran to Rachel's body and picked it up.
"No, our bud!", Jake shouted.
"Rae-Rae! No!", Finn said sadly as Jake whimpered before Gob gasped.
"Look!"
"It's the Ice Princess!", Grob added.
"The one you were prophesied to meet!", Grod said.
"I don't care none for that mess. This wouldn't have globbed if you'd just...listened to my girl!", Finn said.
"You're right.", King of Mars began. "I bunked up, Finn the Human. My judgement was less than the standard by which I judge my peers. Of which I have none. Regardless, as per the agreement with the girl, I will retrieve her from the 37th Dead World."
"Wait. Agreement? What are you...?", Jake began before King of Mars put his hands to his head and yelled, transporting his mind into the 37th Dead World.
There, he saw Rachel happily talking with her grandparents.
"So, you've squished that Magic Man into paste with a humongous form he cursed you with?", Rachel's grandfather asked.
"Yep. Who knew that his curse was actually a gift. But the point is, strange and unusual as some of them are, going on adventures with Finn and Jake is pretty fun.", Rachel grinned.
"Why, they sound like good people, dear.", Rachel's grandmother said.
"They are.", Rachel said. "I just wish you'd get to meet them."
Then, she, her grandparents, and Death heard a footstep coming into the castle. It was the King of Mars himself.
"Death.", King of Mars spoke.
"King of Mars. What's your business?"
"I need this one back.", King of Mars said, pointing to Rachel.
Rachel gasped at the gesture.
"King of Mars..."
"Hmm... What will you give me for her?", Death asked before the King of Mars held out a penny, only earning Death's laughter.
"Not this time, your majesty."
Of course, King of Mars chuckled as though he was expecting this.
"In that case, I offer my immortality.", King of Mars said before Rachel gasped.
"Deal."
"So, I can go back to the living world...?", Rachel asked before King of Mars nodded.
"But... now I have to leave my grandparents.", Rachel said sadly before going over to them.
"I wasn't ready for it to happen all of a sudden like this. You a-and this... and I... Magic Man... And Death, and now...", Rachel began before she got hugged by her grandmother.
"Me, too, sweetie.", Rachel's grandmother said fondly, making the ice princess tear up and sniffle.
"Though, our hearts are heavy from the sudden arrival and departure, we are honored to have known how our granddaughter has grown in her immortal life.", her grandfather added.
"I'll miss you both.", Rachel said before hugging them fondly.
As she left the castle, she turned to King of Mars.
"Your Majesty... Am I ever gonna see you again?", Rachel asked.
"Rachel, I will always be here. Besides, it's probably been a long time coming.", the King of Mars said. "Other than that, the statue up in Mars should be cool, too."
Rachel grinned with a bit of a chuckle before turning to face him and her grandparents one last time.
"I love you guys.", Rachel grinned.
"Me, too, Rae-Rae. Me, too.", Death said before he shook his head like a pair of maracas and a gunshot was heard.
In the real world, Rachel groaned as she woke up.
"Huh...? Hey..., I'm alive!", Rachel shouted before she and Finn excitedly hugged each other, laughing.
"Yay! You came back!", Finn shouted.
"Woo-oo!", Jake added.
"Yes, but at what cost?", Grob Gob Glob Grod said before the trio looked up at the King of Mars, whose body was now just a stone statue on his throne.
"Dang... What did he do?", Jake asked
"What he had to...", Rachel replied.
"Oh, man. Should we go get Magic Man?", Finn asked.
"No. I lost a friend. I cannot lose my brother, as well.", Grob Gob Glob Grod replied.
"He's your brother?", Rachel asked before the 4-headed being nodded.
Rachel thought for a moment before standing up.
"When we get back to Earth, I'll try and set him straight for you. I owe him that much, at least.", Rachel said before she ran with Finn and Jake following her, though not without Grob Gob Glob Grod looking toward her.
"Magic Man, on behalf of your brothers, EAT MY SKIDS!", Rachel shouted before she, Finn, and Jake teleported back to Earth, at which point, Magic Man was sitting on the floor looking at the picture of him and the woman.
"Oh, Margles..."
"MAGIC MAN!", Rachel shouted, puzzling him.
She then shot through the roof and froze Magic Man in ice, but not before Finn knocked him out cold with his fists.
"That was for turning me into you this time.", Rachel glared.
"You fat coward!", the manticore shouted before Finn broke the bottle.
"Go! Get out of here, tiny manticore!"
"You're free!", Rachel added.
"Whatevs. I didn't need your pity help!", the Manticore spoke before flying away.
"Jeez. What?"
"What was that all about?", Rachel puzzled as Jake stretched his ear near the manticore without him knowing.
"I am the true coward. Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude who hides from the light. Thank you, brave heroes. I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison...is shame. MY NEW PRISON IS SHAAAAME!"
"What's he saying?", Finn asked.
"Yeah, what did he say?", Rachel asked as Jake stretched his ear back.
"He said 'my new prison is shame'.", Jake replied.