Your Future Hasn't Been Written Yet
by K. Stonham
released 3rd January, 2025
"That," said Jim, "cannot be comfortable."
"That is what I said!" Aja agreed.
Douxie lay sat up in the corner of Aja and Krel's shared sitting room, head leaning a little to one side, propped against the stone wall. Fast asleep.
"I covered him with a blanket," said Steve. "That's good, right?"
"Yeah, Steve," Jim said, nodding absently. "You did good."
Next to him, Claire sighed out softly. "I wish we didn't have to wake him," she murmured.
"I know." The dark circles under Douxie's eyes were about as bad as Jim had ever seen them. He knew the wizard had been stressed, keeping him alive and dodging homicidal gods in the fifth century... and then they hadn't even had a full week's break before getting thrown back to the twelfth century, with a whole lot more people tagging along that Douxie felt responsible for.
Jim felt responsible for getting his friends home while keeping the timeline intact, too, but Douxie took it all on like it was his own personal burden. Like he was Atlas. Like being a 900-year-old Master Wizard made him responsible for everything...
It kind of does, Jim thought. Because I might have made us all Trollhunters, but he can't make us all wizards.
Except... they kind of had, theoretically, when Jim broke Gaylen's Core.
Maybe Douxie hadn't internalized that yet?
Maybe, Jim thought, until everyone else starts showing signs of wizardry, he's not going to.
But for now, much as he knew more sleep would do Douxie good, he really couldn't let his brother sleep. There was too much that needed to be done, and too much he needed to impart, and ask about.
"Doux," said Jim gently, kneeling. He touched a hand to Douxie's shoulder. "You need to wake up."
Douxie's breath slowed for a second, then his gold-and-green eyes opened. There were crow feet around the edges, Jim noticed, making him momentarily look older than their mom. They vanished as Douxie blinked a few times. "Jim...?"
Jim's mouth made a line. "I need you to wake up," he repeated. "There's some stuff I need to talk with you about... and then Merlin probably needs another pair of hands to make that amulet."
Douxie stared at him, slumber fleeing his expression. Then he groaned, his head falling back against the corner.
"Yeah," said Toby sagely. "I feel that way about working with Merlin, too."
Sleeping on the bare stone had been stupid, Douxie acknowledged to himself. Even in the height of summer, like now, the sandstone was cold and sucked body heat away like little else. Plus he was stiff. So he kept the blanket wrapped around himself as he resettled himself onto the padded chair near the window.
"Here," said Darci, handing him a mug of tisane.
Douxie sniffed at the concoction - mainly lavender and peppermint, by the smell of it, with a dollop of honey added in, and said mournfully, "I miss coffee."
That elicited a chuckle going around the room, as he'd half hoped. He gave himself the grace of a smile before taking a hearty swallow, letting the heated beverage warm his mouth and belly. "So. What news, my liege?"
That earned him an eye roll from Jim, but no protest. "Arthur's made peace - sort of - with Dwoza."
"We left Varvatos there to begin the training for the battle of Killahead," Krel added in.
Steve perked up at "training" and "battle." "I could help with that!"
"And you will," Claire promised. "Aaarrrgghh broke in with Gunmar's demands while we were there," she said. "He's subdued, thanks to Jim and Deya, and Blinky's in charge of him. So that's going according to plan."
"Claire dumped Merlin in the Shadow Realm to keep him from interfering with that fight," said Jim. Douxie's jaw dropped. "On the plus side, he now believes us about Morgana and the Arcane Order."
"You did what?!" Douxie demanded of Claire, uncertain whether he was amazed or horrified. Or possibly some mix of both.
She gave a small, taut smile. "I couldn't think of what else to do. And it worked! Whatever he saw in there convinced him."
Douxie's mouth worked soundlessly for a second as his brain tried to catch up before noticing her expression. Oh. She's not sure if she did the right thing. And I'm her teacher...
He drew a breath. "Well done," Douxie complimented.
The tension fell from her shoulders.
Douxie let out a sigh. "All right. Busy morning. Anything else we should all know?"
Now it was Krel who fidgeted. "I may have promised Vendel you and I would strengthen Dwoza's heartstone, to help support all the refugees."
Douxie looked flat at him.
"I figured out a way!" Krel said. "Dictatious let me go through his library and I found the relevant volume of Gems and Geodes! Its information on the energy retention qualities of heartstones was very useful. I think, with a little time and effort, we can definitely increase the amount of energy it absorbs from your planet's mantle." He was beaming. "That stupid science fair turned out to be worthwhile after all."
Douxie sighed. "All right," he acquiesced. "But can that wait until after I've helped Merlin make the Amulet of Daylight, so that I at least have my staff first?"
"I mean... maybe?" Krel guessed.
"All right. Anything else?" Douxie asked, and took another drink of the tea.
"Uhh." Jim cringed preemptively. "I may have gotten the shard of Gaylen's Core jammed further into my amulet and met that unicorn again?"
Douxie choked on his drink.
Mary grabbed the cup from him even as Eli pounded him on the back. "What?" Douxie wheezed as soon as he had enough air to do so.
Jim grimaced. "So, about the shape of time..." he said.
"Master?" Hisirdoux asked as Merlin came stalking into the workroom, looking harried and... haunted, maybe?
His master stopped and stared at him for a full half minute. Long enough for Hisirdoux to become nervous. Long enough for Archie to become nervous and jump down from where he'd been laying on the lower table, coming to stand by Hisirdoux's feet, tail winding around his own four feet as he regarded Merlin.
"Hisirdoux," snapped Merlin. "I require..." His voice faltered. "I require..."
Hisirdoux stared as Merlin's hands came up to his face and his master stepped backwards, sinking down onto the steps up to the higher level of the workroom. He had never seen Merlin like this. "Master! Are you all right? Shall I fetch the surgeon-"
He was cut off, stopped from leaving by Merlin's hand snaking out and grabbing his wrist.
"Master...?"
"No medic shall avail me," said Merlin. "No posset, no potion. Only acting for the greater good shall cure that which ails me."
Hisirdoux stood there silently, not understanding.
Merlin sighed and released him. The master wizard gazed pensively across the room. But he wasn't, Hisirdoux thought, actually looking at anything. More just... gazing into the distance. "A wizard does not make mistakes," Merlin said quietly. "But sometimes, Hisirdoux, he does not foresee all the paths to which his actions may lead." His face darkened. "Especially not when gods come meddling," he muttered. "At least they can't-" He cut himself off, eyes flickering sharply to his apprentice.
Like there was something Merlin didn't want him to hear, Hisirdoux thought. With a sigh, he acknowledged to himself that there was /lots/ of that. Merlin hardly trusted him with anything! "Is there anything I can do to help, Master?" he asked instead.
Archie's eyes were narrowed, Hisirdoux noted, and fast on Merlin. Like his familiar had his own suspicions about his master.
"Food, and drink," Merlin instructed. "And..." He sighed, looking Hisirdoux up and down. "And the presence of your elder self."
Hisirdoux brightened, at first, then wilted, realizing that if Merlin wanted the older him, it meant his master didn't want the current him. "Yes, Master," he muttered as Archie glared.
Glumly, Hisirdoux trudged toward the workroom door. Unwanted and cast out.
Not for the first time, he thought as the door closed behind him and Arch. And probably not for the last time either.
"So. Um." Jim's brain stopped working as soon as he was on the spot and everyone expected him to tell them about magic. Him! He was barely able to make his own amulet work some days.
"Jim." Douxie, recovered from his coughing fit and oddly looking better after it than before it, held up a hand. "Start at the beginning. When you get to the end, stop."
Jim glared at him. How dare Douxie use his love of the mad tea party against him!
Toby snickered.
"Right." Jim tried to marshal his thoughts. "Okay. Um. First off." His fingers tapped at the edge of his amulet. "Gaylen made the Time Stone."
Douxie's eyes flew wide. As did several other people's.
"An early experiment with crystalline forms...?" wondered Krel.
Jim frowned. "I think... I think he was trying to surpass his master having made the Time Map."
"Wait, Taliesin made the Time Map...?" Douxie's head thunked against the back of the chair as he looked at the ceiling. He let out a sigh. "Of course he did," he muttered. "And apprentices always try to surpass their masters."
"How does this fit in with a unicorn?" asked Mary.
"I'm getting there," Jim told her. "So when the shard got pushed further the Time Stone, it sent me back to Atlantis. Taliesin said the Time Stone was unstable, or something. That it was hurting Time, and that it would cause time quakes unless they caged it. So he and Gaylen built the Chronosphere. I guess the stone wanted me to see that. Then it sent me back to sixth century again, to the unicorn."
"Dude, I still cannot believe you met a unicorn," said Steve. Eli, seated cross legged next to him, nodded.
"Me either," muttered Jim. He didn't know how to explain the unicorn. That it wasn't just a horse-like thing with a horn. That it was more. That the universe talked through it, and this time he'd known how to listen. "It... showed me things."
"The shape of time," Toby said, like he was following some plot line Jim couldn't even see.
Jim nodded. "It's... time's like a..." His words failed him. The gulf between the feeling, the understanding, in his head, in his chest, and how to put it into words, seemed insurmountable. But he had to try anyway. "It's... like a snake biting its own tail. What's the word for that?" he asked Claire.
"Orouborous," she, and a couple other people, answered.
"Yeah, that." Jim ran his hand through his hair. "And it's not just this planet that the timeline covers. It's the whole galaxy. The whole universe. So why stuff is so concentrated on us, I don't know."
"Well, Earth is the only planet with magic," Krel offered.
"That we know of," rebutted his sister.
"You mean, all that superior tech you keep saying you have in outer space, and no one's messing around with time machines?" Mary demanded.
Krel shrugged. "I mean, possibly? But if they were, it certainly never was something that came to my attention."
"Magic," said Douxie quietly, "subverts the natural laws of the universe. It's... it's like the thumb," he said, raising his hand and wiggling that digit slightly, "that allows us to grip something and move it. It's part of the universe, but a part that acts differently than the rest. So if Earth truly is the only, or even one of the few, places where magic is wielded, it makes sense that we might be a focal point."
The others, Jim saw, were nodding, accepting this illustration. "The thing is - remember when you told me about octopuses?" he asked Douxie. "That some people thought they were the only survivors of a universe that came before ours?"
Douxie nodded.
"If the time snake gets agitated enough," Jim said, "it writhes and turns over. And that's the end of our universe and a whole new one gets born from the ashes."
"Wait, we're talking the end of the universe here?" demanded Darci.
Jim shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe?"
Steve had his head in his hands and was moaning about time snakes.
"It's a metaphor, Steve," Claire snapped. She glanced at Jim. "I hope?"
He nodded at her. It wasn't even a very good metaphor, he thought, but it was the best he had.
"If the Chronosphere caged the Time Stone before," said Krel, "I assume your amulet is doing the same thing now."
Which... was something Jim hadn't even considered. He shrugged again.
"So what does this mean for us?" asked Eli.
Jim spread his hands wide. "I have no idea," he said. "But it's apparently something important enough that the universe unicorn and/or the Time Stone decided I needed to know it, so I'm letting you guys know too so that we can figure out what to do about it... or not."
"Gotta say, Jimbo," Toby said thoughtfully, "starring in one of the Future Warrior movies was never on my bucket list, but... yeah. Checking that one off now."
Jim had to smile. "Sorry I couldn't manage Gun Robot."
"Pssht." Toby waved that off. "You couldn't manage Gun Robot... yet." His gaze slid sideways to Eli.
"Man, who even cares about Gun Robot?!" Steve wailed.
Well. Facing the possible end of the universe was... not ideal, Douxie thought. But oddly, it wasn't setting off his anxiety either.
"Jim," he said, catching everyone's attention. "I really don't think that the time snake-" and Douxie had to smirk at that term because it was so ridiculous but at the same time so apt, "-is going to throw a fit."
The others exchanged looks at that. "Uh, how do you figure that, Doux?" asked Claire.
He settled back further into the chair, running his finger around the rim of his mug. "If Gaylen, with everything he did, not even limited to making the Time Stone, didn't manage to end the universe, what makes you think we will?"
That earned him silence.
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well," he murmured philosophically. "Also, even if this universe did end... there is still the next to come."
"Uh, what?" Toby asked him.
Douxie looked up. "I am quite sure that, even if this universe ends, we'll all find each other in the next."
He had everyone's attention now.
"I... do not follow you," Aja said slowly. It seemed to be the general sentiment.
Douxie gave them all a small smile. "Do you really think ours is the first universe to exist?" It was, as far as he understood the numbers, mathematically unlikely. "That others haven't come before, and others won't come after?"
"Not sure that's comforting, Doux," said Toby.
"It is, actually." Douxie set the cup on the floor and straightened. "Remember when we were taking Aja and Krel down into Trollmarket the first time? And we talked about fixed points? About how all of us," his finger swept the room, "were connected before we ever knew it?"
He got nods at that, from those who had been there. Eli looked like he was following, as did Mary and Darci. Zadra looked dubious, but that seemed to be her default expression.
"The next universe will almost certainly look, be, different than this one," Douxie explained. "'Time unfolds differently, like a flower'." He let Nari's wisdom sink in for a moment before adding, "But do you really think the connections between us would just cease to exist? Matter and energy cannot be destroyed, only-"
"-Only transformed," Krel said, looking like he was having an epiphany.
Douxie nodded.
Jim's nose was scrunched up as he clearly thought hard. "...Timeline echoes?" he asked.
Douxie nodded again. "It's not 'space-time'," he said. "It's more like 'space-time-love.' Even if we fail," he promised. "Even if Jim can't reset time and let us all have another go... well," he said, with a significant look at Jim, whose words he was echoing, "If it's meant to be, it will be. I promise you, my friends, we will find each other in the next universe. And fight the good fight there."
Eli and Steve exchanged a look. "You know," said Eli, his voice cracking, "for all the magic and battle stuff I've seen you pull off, that was maybe the most master wizard-y thing so far."
"Thank you," Douxie told him. "I think."
Which was when a knock came on the door and, not waiting for an answer, his younger self and familiar came unceremoniously inside, interrupting the spiritual tableaux.
"Master Merlin wants you," Hisirdoux told his older self. He even managed, he thought, to mostly not sound bitter about it.
His older self, seated near the window and swaddled in a blanket of all things, looked surprised. "Oh," he said. Then, "/Already/?"
"Nervous, Teach?" asked Claire.
He shook his head. "No. Just..." His voice trailed off.
"The sooner you go, the sooner you and I can work on that project in Dwoza," said Krel.
"Project in Dwoza...?" murmured Archie, reflecting Hisirdoux's own thoughts. They had apparently missed a great deal. No one ever told them anything!
"Thought this was what you wanted," said Jim.
"It is!" Douxie glared at Jim. "It's just..."
"It's big," said Claire, laying her hand on top of Douxie's.
He gave a small laugh. "Yeah. That."
"What are we talking about?" asked Steve plaintively.
"I don't know either," said Hisirdoux. He narrowed his eyes at his older self as Douxie stood. "When do I get to know?"
His older self looked torn.
"If you were me, wouldn't you want to know what was going on?" Hisirdoux argued. "No one tells me anything, not you, not Master Merlin, and it's not fair!" He couldn't keep the whine from his voice.
"Hey-" several overlapping voices protested, but his older self ignored them all as he crossed the room. Gold and green eyes that were a match for Hisirdoux's own looked at him from the same height as Douxie laid a hand on his arm.
"You're right," Douxie said quietly. "It's not fair, is it? Making you do all the legwork and not telling you what's going on." He glanced back at the other time travelers, then returned his gaze to Hisirdoux. His thumb brushed back and forth, a soothing arc. He leaned in close. "Want to see what our staff looks like?" he murmured.
It took a moment for the implication to percolate through Hisirdoux's understanding, even as Archie's eyes flew wide. "Master Merlin's giving you a staff?!" he squeaked. "Giving... us a staff?"
Douxie nodded, smiling. "Worth waiting nine centuries for, isn't it?"
"YES!" Hisirdoux could have danced on air, he felt so light. He'd get his staff! One day, he'd finally become a master and get his staff!
"Beg pardon, did you say nine centuries?" asked Archie.
Douxie held his finger to his lips as he looked at their familiar, indicating a secret.
Archie's eyes narrowed, but he nodded.
"Now come on," Douxie said to Hisirdoux, clapping him on the shoulder. "I've work to do, and I'm sure so do you."
"Oh yes," Hisirdoux babbled, too elated to attempt restraint. "I've got to get that tray of food and drink for Master Merlin-"
"Well, soonest begun, soonest finished," said his elder self, leading him to the door. Hisirdoux nodded.
Douxie's sleeve was caught, though, by Jim's fingers as they exited. "One minute," he said, and stepped out into the hallway with them. "What you said back there," Jim said, nodding toward the royal guest suite. "Was that just words, or...?"
Douxie shook his head. "Mordrax's own truth," he swore, paired fingers in the air making it a vow.
"How do you know that's the truth?" asked Jim.
Douxie's smile was small and weighted with experience. "The same way I know what comes after death, Jim. Training, and... encounters of my own."
Jim looked surprised.
"Excuse us," Douxie said, and led the way, Hisirdoux and Archie going to the kitchens... and Douxie to Merlin's tower.
Outside Merlin's door, Douxie drew a fortifying breath before he knocked. This might not be the creation of the Trollhunter amulet, which required two master wizards to lock it together... but he rather thought it was. Particularly if Merlin had suddenly become convinced of Morgana's resurrection and the wrath (and fell Arcane forces) that now drove her.
I've been chomping at the bit for months now, wanting my staff back, thought Douxie. I'm better prepared to wield it - and to help make it! - than I was the first time. And I need it, not only for Krel's promises to Dwoza, but to help fend off Morando and the Order, once we get home.
So why am I hesitating?
I fixed the Heart of Avalon. I got Nimue to fix Excalibur. I'm even on the way to fixing this entire blip in the time stream. It's got to be enough, right?
Enough to...
Douxie's face fell.
Enough to make Merlin look at me like he's proud again.
Douxie sniffed and forced the tears back even as they flooded his closed eyes. He scrubbed his sleeve across his eyes.
Merlin loves me in his own way. Even if it's seldom been the way I wanted.
The way I needed.
He let himself have a moment - but only a moment. He needed to go in before his younger self and Archie caught up from their errand in the kitchens, and found him crying here in the hallway.
"No wonder Jim and I understand one another so well," Douxie muttered aloud. "At least he found some good dads later in life."
He forced himself to straighten up, to sober up, to shore up all the places that wanted to bleed. And to knock on the door. "Master?"
"Come in," said Merlin's voice from within.
Douxie obeyed.
Even were it not for the strange hair coloration (blue, of all things! did the boy wish to advertise to the wider world what he was?), Merlin should have known the elder version of his apprentice from the younger by their gait alone.
The child Hisirdoux was hesitant, mincing, cautious. His future version was no less light of foot, but walked with far more self-confidence than Merlin had ever seen from the shyster he'd taken in. At some point, apparently, Hisirdoux would find a place he belonged, and grow into himself in a way not even Camelot had allowed.
Douxie walked toward him, quietly but full of the rock-solid self-assuredness that made him a man. Made him... and here Merlin's mouth twisted wryly, because he'd never thought he'd see the day... worthy of being a master.
Douxie knelt before him, where Merlin still sat on the steps. "It's time, isn't it, Master?" he asked softly.
Merlin sniffed, not feeling quite up to a full harrumph. "You already know what's going to happen, don't you?" he accused.
Douxie tilted his head to the side, acknowledging. "I do," he said.
"Because you remember it, I suppose."
The young man turned to glance back at the door. He must be waiting for his younger self to catch up. When Hisirdoux failed to appear, Douxie looked back at Merlin. "I don't, actually," he admitted. "There's a great gaping hole in my memories around the last few days and weeks."
Merlin didn't gape, but it was a near thing. "Whyever do you not remember something so important as this?"
Douxie stood and offered a hand. Merlin took it, letting his apprentice haul him to his feet. "Because I already sleep-spelled my younger self once, when we first got here. And if you think I'm letting that moppet anywhere near the battle to come, you've drunk too much of Sir Galahad's ale," he said cheerfully.
Merlin glared. "Repeated sleep spells can damage the memory."
Douxie nodded. "Believe me, I know that now. But Arch hasn't seen fit to enlighten me for centuries, so..." His shrug was careless, explanatory.
Merlin sighed. "Well, if you've parsed out what's to come, we had best get to it. Battle, and Gunmar, wait for no man."
That earned him a snicker and a nod.
The door banged open. "Master, I've brought you a tray!" the younger version of his apprentice caroled, followed, as always, by his familiar.
"Put it on the table, Hisirdoux," Merlin directed. "Your older self and I have work to do."
Hisirdoux's expression fell.
Douxie gave Merlin a glare, and crossed the room to his younger self. "Actually, we could use a hand," he said. Hisirdoux brightened. "Master Merlin needs some ores, and then I could certainly use some help hauling the Oraculum out of storage..."
Merlin watched his elder apprentice handle his younger, so easily, and hummed thoughtfully to himself, taking note even as he helped himself to a bit of bread and hard cheese. Watching the two lads, one so bright, the other so patient, get to work.
Perhaps a lighter hand might be a better approach to Hisirdoux in the future, once the time travelers had concluded their business and gone home.
Author's Note: Douxie quotes Julian of Norwich, and also references Jim loving the mad tea party from Alice in Wonderland (Disney animated version). The concept of space-time-love is from tainry's epic Bay'verse Transformers story Borealis.