Chapter Fifteen

Nervous was the only word to describe how Haley was feeling as she watched Nathan out of the corner of her eye. She had thought he was going to leave as soon as he was done eating and come back when her shift ended. She was shocked when he just sat there, his fingers flying over his phone screen. She had spent so much time watching him and not paying attention she overflowed two coffee cups, dropped a tray of dirty dishes, and tripped over her own two feet right into an elderly man, who she was sure grabbed her ass.

She was just wiping down a table when a woman not much older than her tapped her on the shoulder. "Can I help you?" Haley asked with a smile.

"No, but I think I can help you. I'm Samantha, I'm here to take over for you," she replied with a grin.

"Oh, but you're ear- wow I didn't realize it was twelve thirty already," Haley said looking at her watch. When she looked up she seen Nathan fidgeting in his seat. Maybe he isn't as calm as he seemed earlier, Haley thought to herself making her way to the kitchen to get her stuff.

When she came back out Nathan was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed talking to Samantha. Haley felt stabs of jealousy but knew she had no right. He came to her and asked to talk, she just hoped it wasn't for the divorce she had tried to give him in the past.

"Um, sorry to interrupt but did you still want to talk?" Haley asked, eager to find out what Nathan wanted.

"Yea, I'll talk to ya later Sami," Nathan said putting his hand on the lower part of Haley's back and guiding her outside.

Haley flinched at the contact but it felt nice, she missed feeling his touch, even one so simple.

"Is it okay if we go back to your place to talk? I don't want to chance Brooke or Lucas interfering, even if it's with good intensions."

"That's fine, but I don't have my car, I walked to the café," Haley said looking at the newspaper box, unsure where else to look.

Nathan pulled his keys out of his pocket and led her to the passenger side door of his SUV. He removed his hand from the small of her back and opened the car door. Once she was inside he closed the door and took a deep breath as he walked around the front of the SUV to the drivers side.

They rode to her house in silence. Nathan almost turned the radio on until he remembered he had one of her CDs playing. He didn't want to explain to her that he listened to her music so he could hear her voice. That he listened to it with his eyes closed sometimes so he could pretend she was sitting in front of him in his mother's café at the piano singing just for him, like she had not long after they started dating. There were times when he was alone that he wished he never pushed her to sing for him, encouraged her record her first album. He knew though that she would have grown to resent him if she didn't get a shot at her dream, same as the shot she helped to give him.

Next to him, Haley sat rigidly in her seat, her hands clamped tightly in her lap. She cast quick glances at Nathan as he drove, wanting to say something to him but not knowing what to say. She had spent the rest of her shift trying to figure out what he wanted to talk to her about, she was still trying to figure it out, but wasn't having any luck.

Once back at her house Nathan pulled into her driveway and parked where he had earlier that day. They both awkwardly got out of the car and made their way to the door. Haley dug in her purse and took out her keys. She unlocked and opened the door with a shaky hand. She walked inside and Nathan followed, shutting the door behind him.

"Do you want something to drink?" Haley asked, not sure if she really wanted to know what he wanted to talk about.

"No thanks, I'm fine. Can we sit down and talk somewhere?"

Haley nodded and led him into the living room. She sat down on the sofa on an end seat with Nathan sitting in a chair across from her.

"I don't know where to start but I will say that I don't want to fight with you," he said leaning forward on the chair so he was sitting on the edge.

"I don't want to fight either but I am curious as to what exactly you want to talk about," Haley replied, proud of herself for sounding so calm.

Nathan inhaled deeply and blew the air out of his mouth. "When you left, it nearly killed me Haley, I was a mess. You didn't even give me a choice when you left, you just took off in the middle of the night. It wasn't until your tour started that I even knew where you were."

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I can't take back what I did to you and-" she tried to apologize but he cut her off with a shake of his head and a raised hand.

"I know you're sorry Haley, and I mostly forgive you. I was going to go and see you but I got the divorce papers the day before your first concert. After you sent them I figured you wouldn't want me there so I didn't go. I still had a hope, a misplaced belief in us, that you would come back to me though. I sent the papers back because I had hoped you would bring them to me yourself so I could try to convince you we were meant to be together. I waited for you to come every night for months. I gave up waiting after the first year. I turned all my focus and energy into basketball and I had scouts looking to recruit me," he told her, his voice breaking along the way.

Haley got up and sat on the table between them. Reaching out she took his hands in hers and held them tightly. "God Nathan, I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I wanted to come home, back to you, as soon as I left. I just didn't know how to face you, you deserved better than me, you do deserve better than me. You deserved to make it to the NBA and live your dream," she said, a sob breaking through her lips.

Nathan pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. It broke his heart to see her like this, to know that had either one of them just made a move they may have spent the last six years together and happy. "I don't need the NBA, dreams can change. Haley, I know we still have a lot to talk about but I don't want a divorce and I hope you don't either."

Pulling out of his arms Haley sat up so she could look him the eyes. "Nathan, the last thing in the world I want is a divorce but I'm not naïve. We aren't the people we were when we got married. We can't go back to just being a married couple but I don't know what to do."

"We date, get to know each other all over again and just talk," he said with a smirk.

"I'd like that," Haley said with a smile then leaned in and kissed his lips, surprising him. Once the shock wore off he eagerly kissed her back, content, for now, to hold her in his arms and kiss her.