Chapter Nine: Journey to Belonging
Maggie let out a long, deep sigh that was filled with frustration as she looked around the living room, noticing Carl's comic books scattered along the living room couch as if it were his personal bedroom. "I've told that boy to clean up after himself a hundred times," She grumbled, picking up the comic books and placing them in a neat pile on the coffee table. "It's like I'm talking to a wall sometimes," Maggie complained. Once she was finished cleaning up the living room, she returned her attention to the ongoing conversation she was having with Daryl.
"So, I was thinking about the living arrangements for the kids," Maggie said, trying to keep her thoughts organized as she tried to think of the best way to move Alison in, "I was thinking I could either move Hershel and Judith in together, or I could put Judith with Carl. There's also the option of having Alison share a room with Judith if she doesn't mind." Maggie explained as she went over the different options. "I could also give Alison my room and I could move out to the couch, that way all four kids could have their own room."
Daryl listened as Maggie rambled on, waiting until she took a breath to interject, "You can't take Alison in. You're already caring for three kids, two who are under the age of five. Plus, you're managing a whole community. You're spreading yourself too thin with everything you have going on right now. You can't add more to that." Daryl explained, keeping his voice firm to show that he was serious. Maggie couldn't handle another thing on her plate, especially another kid.
Maggie didn't say anything for a moment as she kept her hands busy with cleaning, "She has to live somewhere. I can't have her living by herself. What do you want me to do?" Maggie asked as she stopped cleaning to look at Daryl.
Daryl hesitated for a moment before answering, "I can take her in. I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's time for me to move out of your basement and get a place of my own. I can give her a room, a space just for her." Daryl explained. He wasn't sure if he was ready to take on a child because he didn't know what kind of role model he would be, but he wouldn't let Maggie put herself under any more stress.
Maggie froze, she hadn't expected Daryl to offer to take Ailson in. Aside from Judith, Herschel, and Carl, he kept his distance from the children of Alexandria. Maggie believed it had to do with Sophia. He saw what happened to him when Sophia came out of the barn that day, it broke him. She saw how he pushed Carl away, not wanting to lose another child.
"I don't want you to move out." Maggie said, her cheeks blushing a little at the confession. She took a breath to steady herself before speaking, "After everything that happened…after Glenn…it's hard for me to think about losing you too." Maggie glanced away, gathering her thoughts. "I really like having you around. You make this place feel more like home. You're my favorite person who's taller than 5'7'," She chuckled a little as she tried to lighten the mood a little, "I can't imagine living here without you. You've been there for me after losing Glenn and I'm not sure I'm ready for you to leave."
The silence that filled the room was deafening but Maggie wasn't surprised, Daryl wasn't good with emotions. "What if we empty out that spare room downstairs? I know it's small but we would be able to move a bed in along with a dresser and a desk, making it all cozy. She can be downstairs with you, but you still be in the house with the rest of the kids. Not to mention, I'm right upstairs in case you need any help. I think you're underestimating how hard it's gonna be looking after a teenage girl." Maggie said with a slight smile.
Daryl didn't say anything at first as he shifted and crossed his arms over his chest, a clear sign that he didn't know what he should be doing with his hands. "...I can take the smaller room," he finally said, "I don't need that much space anyways."
Maggie smiled, relieved that she didn't have to argue with Daryl about this. "Alright, I'll get some guys to come over to help later today. Now, you have a choice to make." A slight smile formed on her lips as she laid out the options. "You can either help me clean, or you can head over to storage and choose a couple of things for Alison. It's up to you."
Meanwhile, Aaron hurried up the steps to the infirmary, lightly knocking on the door before entering. "Guess what I found?" Aaron announced, his voice filled with enthusiasm as he raised the book he spent the past two hours searching for, revealing the cover: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. "It took some searching but I finally found someone who had a copy. And don't worry, I told them it was for me." Aaron explained with a smile as he flicked his wrist, tossing the book to Alison.
Alison reached forward and grabbed the book that landed in her lap, using her thumb to flip through the pages "I can't believe you found a copy, thank you." Alison said before reaching to the nightstand and picking up volume one of the series, holding it out for Aaron to take. "Here, you told me you had only seen the movies. You should read the books." Alison explained.
Aaron smiled as he took the book from Alison, turning it over and reading the summary before tossing it back to her. "I would love to read it but I think Daryl is already in the middle of it,"Aaron explained with a slight chuckle, "I'll take a read once he's finished. Maybe we could start some kind of book club." Aaron offered.
Alison let out a small burst of nervous laughter. "I don't know…maybe," She replied, not sure if Aaron was joking or being completely serious. Starting up a book club would be weird considering everything that was happening within the world.
"Just think about it. It might be fun. It would give people something to do around here. I'm sure it wouldn't take much to get people to sign up." Aaron explained with a smile before heading into one of the back rooms. Moments later, he emerged pushing an old, busted wheelchair which somehow still was able to work.
The atmosphere in the room quickly changed when Alison caught sight of the wheelchair. She shifted uncomfortably on the bed as she began to fidget with the strap of her sling. "What is that for?" Alison asked, averting her eyes to the bedsheets that laid across her legs.
"Maggie and Daryl are busy right now," Aaron explained, "I thought I could give you a little tour of the community. It'll be a nice break, get you out of the infirmary for a few hours. " he smiled, leaning against the handles of the wheelchair "What do you think? Are you up for getting out of here?"
Alison hesitated for a moment, pressing her lips together before lightly chewing on her bottom lip. She shook her head slowly, "...no…I…I would rather stay here," Alison couldn't help but to stutter a little, "If that's alright with you?"
"May I ask why?" Aaron inquired.
Alison shrugged, "...I don't want to go out there, especially in a wheelchair. People already see me as the girl who cut off her own arm. The wheelchair is going to draw attention to me. Everyone is gonna be staring at me. I don't want people looking at me." Alison explained. She knew how people saw her, she heard Siddiq talking about it with someone named Rosita when they thought she was asleep. People saw her as the amazing girl who had the courage to amputate her own arm. She didn't want to go out there and have everyone staring at her and asking her questions, just the thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach.
Aaron nodded, understanding Alison's feelings all too well. After the accident that took his arm, he felt a heavy weight on his shoulders. The thought of stepping outside filled him with dread. He worried about how others might see him. He knew he wasn't the same physically, but on the inside he felt completely the same and he didn't want others to treat him any differently. He didn't want people to look at him with pity or discomfort.
Staying at home felt safer. At home, he had control. He could ignore the stares and questions. He could control who saw him and who didn't. The struggle to accept his new reality was hard, but to accept people's reaction to it was even harder. There were days where he didn't even want to get out of bed. If it wasn't for Jesus he would have locked himself away. He wasn't going to allow Alison to do the same.
"No one is going to be staring at you. Maggie had informed everyone not to bother you and trust me, no one is going to cross her. She's scary when she's angry." Aaron chuckled a little even though it was no joke. He had seen what happened when Maggie became angry and he never wanted to be on the other end of it, "If anyone even looks at you, how about I beat them up for you, how does that sound?"
"I don't know…" Alison mumbled quietly. She hesitated, still unsure about the idea of going out. "Am I even allowed to leave the infirmary?" Alison asked as she looked for a way out. The walls of the infirmary felt confining, yet she was apprehensive about stepping outside. She had no clue what was outside the infirmary walls.
"I already talked to Siddiq about taking you out and he's alright with it, in fact he recommended it. You're not going to gain your strength back laying in bed all day." Aaron explained, "You like horses? I can take you down to our stables." Aaron offered, letting out a small sigh when Alison didn't answer. "Look, let's take a short walk around the community. If at any point you feel like heading back, I will take you, no questions asked. What do you think? Does that sound like a good deal?" Aaron asked, hoping he could get Alison to agree.
Alison pressed her lips together as she glanced out the window, watching as people went about their business. She noticed a young woman pushing a wagon filled with weeds and other rubbish down the road. A group of kids around her age hanging together, and an elderly man walking. It all seemed normal, if that was even a thing any more. Alison chewed on her bottom lip, lost in thought for a moment before her gaze returned to Aaron. After a brief pause, she gave a slight nod, "...Just a little walk." She agreed.
Aaron smiled, helping Alison into the wheelchair. He made sure she was comofable, draping a blanket over her lap to make sure that she stayed warm in the cold weather. After making sure she was settled, he wheeled her out through the back door of the infirmary, down the ramp and out into the street. He made sure to keep to the side of the street with less people, not wanting Alison to feel uncomfortable. "So, to the stables," Aaron asked, "we let the kids name the animals so some of the names may seem a little odd."
Alison was in awe as she took in her surroundings. Everything felt normal, almost like stepping into a quaint suburban town. The houses looked as if they could easily sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. As she was pushed along the road, she caught a glimpse of the garden. An elderly woman worked among the plants with care, bright red tomatoes, and vibrant green cucumbers along with other vegetables.
"Winter is just around the corner, so we are getting all our food ready for storage," Aaron explained, noticing that Alison was admiring their garden. "We are canning everything we can, making sure we have enough to last until we can plant again," Aaron paused for a moment before adding, "Maggie is the person in charge of gardening here. If you are interested in learning, I'm sure she would be more than happy to teach you a few things."
Alison continued to admire Alexandria, she wasn't sure what to say or even think. This was the best place she had ever been since the world ended. It was almost too good to be true. Were these people really willing to let her stay here? They had walls, food, and medical care. This place was heaven.
She paused briefly as Aaron rolled her past a makeshift playground. The playground had a charming look to it with it being crafted from repurposed materials. Swings made out of old tires, A slide constructed from discarded wooden planks, and a jungle gym crafted from recycled pipes along with a seesaw, constructed from a single plank of wood with it being balanced by two bricks placed in the center.
Alison observed a little girl as she climbed the plank carefully, itching her way towards the middle. She paused, squealing with excitement as she waited for the plank to tip before running down the rest of the way with a burst of energy. She grasped the hand of an older boy with an eyepatch as she dragged him to the jungle gym. She learned forward a little, watching as the boy placed his hands on the girl's hips as she started to climb up. She couldn't help but to smile as she heard the girl start to scold him, saying that she could do it on her own.
"That's Carl and Judith, Maggie's kids," Aaron explained, "I helped to build the playground. It's not the safest thing but is anything these days?" Aaron asked with a slight chuckle, it was a miracle that none of the kids had gotten hurt.
"I never seen anything like this…everything…everything seems so normal," Alison said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she continued to watch the girl play, "Everything is like it was before…like nothing happened."
"I know it can be jarring, we aren't pretending that the world didn't end. We acknowledge the reality of how things are. It's not like everything is perfect here, we do have our struggles. We just learned how to make a home for ourselves," Aaron paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink in before continuing, "It can be your home too." Aaron said, his voice gentle and understanding.
Home. The word felt fragile, almost like something from a fairytale. For Alison, the idea of having a home seemed distant. It had been so long since she had a place that truly felt like home. Her old community, it wasn't a home. It was just a place where she slept and ate, it didn't offer the warmth that a home did. Could she really allow herself to consider this place home?