Visible now throughout Pentagram City, his voice projecting to match, Sir Pentious addressed the sinners of Hell. All of them.
"People of Pentagram City. It issss I, Sssssir Pentioussss. Many of you may remember me from my time in Hell. During which, I was awful. Many of you sssssuffered because of me. I am truly, deeply sssorry.
"I've returned to ssssshow you that redemption issss posssssible. If a dirtbag like me can change his ways, if even I can ssssee the light and be embraced by Heaven, then sssssurely you can too. The Hazbin Hotel, and the friendsssss I made there, helped me become a better persssson. And I believe it can help you too, if only you want to and give it a chance.
"Heaven issss not what the Exterminationssss would have ussss believe. It isss a place of peace, healing, and... um... hold on...
Briefly, Molly could be seen in the giant hologram, backing away from something to their left with a worried expression. A movement mirrored by her solid hologram on the steps below. Sir Pentious turned to look, eyes widening, at something beyond the hologram's scope, and swiftly started making jabbing motions, as if pushing buttons on an unseen elevator panel.
"Oh dear."
Sir Pentious turned back to the crowd, oozing anxiety. "Anyway, I really hope to see many of you here. Goodb..."
From the streets of Pentagram City, the tiniest flash was visible in the angelic sphere of Heaven.
The solid holograms of Molly and Sir Pentious winked out. The barely-visible shaft of light stretching down from Heaven became brighter as it imploded, shrinking into a pinpoint laser that lanced the doom clock tower top to bottom, consuming it in holy light.
Day Zero - Heaven Embassy, afternoon:
Emily's expression darkened. "On that note..." She flew up and opened a large portal, through which Heaven could be seen. She turned to the Exorcists.
"That portal's not for me. It's for you. As High Seraphim, I am ordering you back to Heaven. Where you will be free to return to your afterlives until summoned."
Lute hissed, "Sending us back just so you can cast us down?"
Emily stared at her flatly. "Angels don't cast angels down from Heaven. Not even the High Seraphim. If they did, I would cast you down for attacking another angel, maiming her and tearing off her wings. But trust me when I say the Elders are aware and your day of Judgement is imminent."
Lute brandished her sword. "Never!"
Vaggie spread her wings, growling in Spanish as she took to the air.
Emily stared down Lute, unimpressed and utterly unworried. "Don't make the same mistake twice."
Lute's eyes shifted as she weighed her options. Then brought her sword to her own neck.
"Nope!" Vaggie grabbed her arm and pulled the blade away, leaving only the slightest nick on Lute's neck to bleed gold. She manhandled Lute's arm behind her back painfully. "Drop it."
The struggle was brief. Two arms beat one and Lute finally obeyed.
Vaggie took Lute's sword, turning to face her. "I think we all know what's going to happen to you next. Fortunately, when it does, I know a hotel where you can work on redeeming yourself. The door's open. You know the address."
Lute spat viciously, "Are you serious?! "
Emily stared at Vaggie in surprise.
"What part of I forgive you includes holding a grudge?" Vaggie said calmly. "You're going to need help. I'm offering it."
Lute opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, she was enveloped by a shaft of holy light and evaporated upwards.
Vaggie looked in shock at the space where Lute had just been. "Well, that was fast."
Day Zero - Vees Tower, afternoon:
Vox stared at the gaping hole in the side of Vees tower where the porn studio used to be. "So let me get this straight. While Lucifer's daughter was upstaging me at my own press conference, Alastor came by and kicked your ass?"
Valentino winced as he took a long draw from his equally long cigarette holder. "I'd say it was more of a draw. And it's not finished yet." His mouth curled into a wicked smile. "You know I prefer a slow burn when taking out my enemies," he told Vox as he twirled Moneyshot.
"You're lucky he didn't turn you into a smear," Velvette retorted. "You were already weak after the Demon Hunter attacked."
"So was he," Valentino's voice was like satin on flesh. "I don't know why, but Alastor was not at the top of his game."
Vox stared out at Pentagram City, eyes focused on the hotel in the far distance, sitting on a rise at the upper end of town. "Well this certainly won't stand."
Velvette frowned. "Do I have to be the voice of reason again? Maybe it's time to back off."
Vox turned, looking at her with surprise. "What happened to grinding a certain cunt's dignity into the dirt?"
Velvette laughed. "Oh, I'm not done with her. But... the woman who always carries an angelic spear around lodged her complaint with a slap. Respect."
"Seriously?" Valentino leaned forward, ignoring the pain from his recent thrashing. "She slapped you!"
Velvette snapped back, "Don't you depreciate my work. I'm fucking proud of how much I had that coming." She turned to Vox. "Point is, it won't do our reps any good to go after them now. So unless you've got something that won't look like you're throwing a tantrum because you got beat, put on your big boy pants and stow your egos."
Vox mulled that over. "I hate to admit it, but Velvette's right. We have to think of our image right now."
"I've got something," Valentino sneered, anger at the very thought twisting his face.
Vox and Velvette looked at him with a mix of surprise and doubt.
Valentino growled. "That little hotel of theirs is harboring an angel who can forcibly destroy Contracts."
"Say WHAT!?"
Day Zero - Rosie's Emporium, afternoon:
"Thank you again for bringing the body back," Rosie said. "You sure you don't want anything in exchange? I have a few really good tidbits."
Alastor waved a dismissive hand. "Just the continued good relations between yourself and Princess Morningstar. I apologize for the state of it."
Rosie looked over at the remains of Izzi laid out on the opposite table. "Think nothing of it. That poison of Valentino's made him inedible well before the rot set in. But I still have use for the bones."
She poured herself more tea. "You know I wouldn't have thought less of Charlie had she not recovered it, considering who you had to get it from and what it cost you."
Alastor's smile tightened almost imperceptibly. "It didn't cost me a thing."
Rosie chided, "Alastor, I could smell the blood pooling under your coat the moment you arrived."
"It's nothing. Really."
After a slightly tense few moments, Alastor acquiesced. "I tested myself against Valentino today. I've recently banked some of my Contracts, and I wanted to see how that affected me." He set down his mug with its familiar photo. "A little more than I hoped, I'll admit. But nothing I can't handle."
Day Zero - Just outside Cannibal Town, evening:
A hanging fluorescent light flickered to life, swinging from the force of the yank on its chain. The light illuminated the decay of a basement clinic. Toppled metal beds, rusting surgical tools, cabinets long stripped of anything pharmaceutical. Beyond a door hanging on one hinge, narrow stairs of black stone climbed steeply upwards to a recess in one wall of a garbage-filled alley between two bombed-out buildings in the Doomsday District.
Or, at least, the alley was filled with garbage until two minutes ago, when a massive tentacle of shadow cleared it with the grace of a bulldozer tied to a rocket.
Now, Alastor stood in the remains of the clinic, leaning on his microphone for support. His other hand clinched at his side. He huffed, never letting his smile falter. Not even here, alone in this place of darkness. "Well, this just won't do."
He steadied himself and lifted his microphone. His other hand left his side, wet with blood. He snapped his fingers, symbols bursting through the air as the light exploded and plunged the dead clinic back into darkness.
The new bulb in the newly incandescent overhead lamp warmed to a soft glow, bathing the dilapidated but relatively restored clinic in a ruddy light.
Alastor snapped his fingers again, and with a flash of uncanny green energy, a man appeared. A thin man, utterly monochrome, wearing a white lab coat and a black plague doctor's mask.
"Alastor?"
The Radio Demon smiled. "Good evening, Victor. It's time to cash in that little favor you owe me."
His grin became a grimace. "It seems I have an unwanted guest somewhere around my kidney. I want it gone. Do this, to the best of your magnificent ability and with minimal inconvenience to your patient, and our business with each other is concluded. Understand?"
"Understood. Shall I administer an anesthetic first?"
Alastor's smile thinned. "That won't be necessary, Victor."
I don't trust you that much.
Day Zero - Hazbin Hotel parlor, night:
Conversations lasted late into the evening. But eventually, the events of the day caught up, and a yawning Molly and weary-eyed Sir Pentious took their leave via golden portal. The goodbyes had no edge of sadness to them, for already plans were laid out to meet the same day next week to start rebuilding the Heaven Embassy.
A gentle quiet had settled over the parlor.
Charlie looked at her phone. "It's probably too late to call St. An's."
"It's only been two days." Vaggie smiled reassuringly. "Tell you what: why don't we go visit Razzle first thing in the morning?" She turned to Emily. "You up for that?"
Emily nodded. "While we're there, can we call Lucifer? I need to know how Sera's doing. Even if she's not ready to see me yet."
"Of course. Right Charlie?"
"Right." Charlie sighed and gave a little yawn that made Emily squee again at the cuteness of it. "We should probably turn in then. Make sure we're fully rested."
Angel Dust spoke up, "Now remember, you three: Molly doesn't have those seismic whatzits for you yet. You know what that means, right?"
Charlie rolled her eyes. "Yes, Angel." She was slowly getting used to her private stuff being a topic of public conversation within the parlor.
Angel Dust concluded sagely, "You and Emily have to completely focus on melting Vaggie until then."
Vaggie jolted upright. "Wait, what!?"
Charlie blinked, then slowly smiled. "Wow, that's not where I thought you were going. I like this a lot better."
Emily chimed in, "Me too."
Angel Dust gave Vaggie a teasing See, I've got your back look.
Vaggie stammered, "Now hold on..."
There was a knock on the front door.
Charlie jumped from her chair, practically stumbling over herself. "I'll get it!"
As she crossed the room, the others exchanged looks of hope and concern.
"New guests, maybe?" Cherri Bomb offered. "Think this is actually beginning to happen?"
Angel Dust stood up, looking wary. "I'm just worried it's Val. We ain't seen Alastor since this morning."
Vaggie remained seated but casually produced her spear. "In case it's Valentino."
Charlie reached the front door and swung it open, her smile bright enough to light up Hell. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
Charlie's eyes landed on the motley trio of demons standing beneath the marquee, taking them in. The huge shark goon looked like he could be from the same crew that attacked the hotel two months ago, but Charlie thought Alastor ate all of them. Either way, she didn't recognize him. Nor did she recognize the sour puppy-like teenage girl in the death dress. The third, however, she recognized immediately.
"Seviathan?"
"Hey, Charliesauce!" Seviathan smoozed. "Saw your performance!" His every word made Charlie's smile shrink a little. "Had to check out what my Ex Gee Eff was doing, y'know?"
"Um..." Charlie's eyes darted before relocking on Seviathan. "It's good to see you?"
The teenage girl shoved Seviathan out of the way, stepping forward.
"So," Crymini asked, "This the hole that's gettin' us the fuck outta Hell?"
Day Zero - Hazbin Hotel parlor, night:
Charlie stood between the three new faces and her found family. "Everyone, this is Leonard, Crymini and..." She paused slightly. "Seviathan."
The large shark, Leonard, spoke up first. "Nice digs ya got here, Princess." He was wearing a somewhat frayed blue business suit over gray scales with a darker, mottled pattern resembling stripes. Charlie found herself again wanting to place him among the loan sharks who attacked the hotel less than two months ago, but she really didn't get a good look at them. Alastor had killed (and eaten!) most extremely quickly, and Charlie had been focused more on her dad at the time.
Vaggie's eye went wide then narrowed, and she cursed in Spanish under her breath while clutching her spear. Charlie could tell from her tone that her partner was drawing on all her willpower to not point it at anyone.
The puppy-like demon, Crymini, grumped silently, arms folded across her chest.
Not spectacular, Charlie admitted to herself. But introductions could certainly be going worse. Charlie introduced the current residents. "Meet my partners Vaggie and Emily..."
Crymini raised an eyebrow.
Leonard bowed slightly. "Ma'ams."
Seviathan smiled too much. "Oh really?"
"Yes. Really." Charlie hoped that would be the end of that. She continued. "And this is Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb, our bartender Husk..."
Leonard greeted each in turn. "Hello. Hello. Hey... you look familiar..."
Noticing Charlie wasn't as overly chipper as she was a few minutes ago, and noting Vaggie's reaction, Angel Dust stepped in. "So... Seviathan, right? I take it, you know Charlie?" The spider demon was unable to help himself. "It's so nice to meet one of Charlie's friends! Pshht. She never brings anyone around."
Cherri Bomb gave Angel Dust a friendly punch in the shoulder.
Charlie felt a headache coming on.
Angel Dust continued, "So, tell us about yourself."
Seviathan smiled. "There's really not much to tell..."
Charlie looked upwards as if asking Heaven if she really deserved this as she heard the first growling strands of heavy metal.
Seviathan gave a tip of his top hat as he began to sing.
"Sometime the nightmares, they come for my mind.
To feast on the maggots my thoughts leave behind.
The intimate passions that howl in the dark,
Always leave me stranded, alone on the ark!"
Vaggie mouthed silently: What the fuck?
Emily watched, looking worried for the stranger, finding the lyrics he sang with such passion alarming... and increasingly confusing.
Charlie helplessly listened as Seviathan sang to the relentless pounding of guitars and drums. The song was absolute nonsense. By the tenth line, she could tell Seviathan was ripping lyrics from a score of heavy metal classics and bodging them together with his own in what could be construed as an homage only with maximum generosity.
It got worse when Leonard and, Heaven help her, Angel Dust joined in to provide background lyrics that did not match anything Seviathan was singing but were perfectly synced with his vocal pauses.
Seviathan sang out, "But I have a magical rod!"
Angel Dust and Leonard followed up with, "The sky is bloody red and the moon is full!"
Seviathan added a few dance steps, "An almighty magical rod!"
And both Angel Dust and Leonard began clapping with the music. "And Heaven's light it shines from soooo far away!"
Dancing, using his sword-cane as a prop, Seviathan sang out, "I'm a mighty magical rod!"
Husk rolled his eyes and decided to get in on the fun, joining Angel Dust and Leonard with the next line of the chorus, much to Charlie's chagrin.
"There are far too many ducks to find in Lu Lu World!"
Charlie saw Emily looking at her with a lost expression, clearly hoping Charlie would make sense of this for her. But the only cohesive element was the ever-altering magical rod refrain that...
Seviathan belted out, "Come suck my magical rod!"
Charlie's face fell. Then screwed up in anger as she realized: It's about his fucking COCK!
Vaggie muttered, "Ew. No."
Charlie saw that Crymini had already put in earbuds and was tuning all of this out.
Emily stared, eyes moving from one newcomer to the next, really looking at them. She took in the puppy teen. Crymini was Crymini.
Emily's eyes widened as she got a look at the shark and her eyes darted between him and Husk in a moment of panic.
Then she turned her eyes on Seviathan...
Charlie shook her head, waving her arms in negation. No no no no no! Seviathan is not here, in my hotel, introducing himself with a song about his...
Her thought was interrupted by Emily's short, high-pitched scream.
The song stopped abruptly. Everyone turned to look at the angel who was staring at Seviathan in terror.
"Emily?" Charlie asked cautiously.
Vaggie gave a worried chuckle. "Wow, I know the song was awful, but not that bad."
Emily backed away from Seviathan, stumbling.
Charlie looked between them, jumping to a fair assumption. "Uh... one moment please, everyone. We'll be right back!"
She hissed at Seviathan. "I can't believe you."
Seviathan held out his hands defensively. "What? What did I do?"
Charlie turned and grabbed Emily gently, drawing her new angelic partner into the nearest private room. Vaggie naturally followed.
As soon as the door was shut behind them, Emily blurted to Vaggie. "It wasn't the song. It was him!"
"Emily, are you okay?" Vaggie asked, her concern growing.
Emily shook her head. "No, I'm not okay. What is he?"
Charlie was too polite to say any of the answers that jumped to mind. "He's... not that bad."
"He has no soul!"
Charlie blinked. Then waved dismissively. " Pffft, Seviathan has a soul. You're thinking of his sister."
Emily stared crossly.
Okay, wrong time for levity. "I'm sure Seviathan has a soul, Emily," Charlie insisted. "Maybe... you just can't see it? There are things you can't see, remember."
Emily huffed. "Yes, I have blind spots. But Charlie, that's not a blind spot. That's..." Charlie could see Emily steeling herself, building up all her courage and fortifying herself to say the words that came next. "...That's a fucking void!"
Charlie and Vaggie stared in shock.
Emily whispered to herself, "Husk was right. That did feel cathartic."
Day Zero - Hazbin Hotel bar, night:
Cherri Bomb stared back at the private room Charlie and her angels had disappeared into. "Think they're okay? Why'd E freak?"
"No idea," Angel Dust admitted before turning to smile at the newcomers. "But fuck that was fun!"
He smirked at Husk. "Surprised you joined in. Didn't seem like your kind of song."
"So was I," Husk admitted. "But that insanity was infectious. Plus, after having missed out on this afternoon's big sing-along, no way was I going to sit that out."
Angel Dust nodded, smiling a little too much. "Still, never imagined you singing about a guy's dick."
"Hey! None of the lyrics I sang were," Husk shot back. "Or about anything really." Husk pulled out some glasses. "What can I offer you new folks?"
Crymini scrambled onto a bar stool. "Got beer?"
Husk blinked, looking her up and down. "No. And are you even old enough to drink?"
Crymini barked back, "Who the fuck cares? We're in Hell, you geezer!"
"I care," Husk retorted. "And no, I don't have beer. How about orange juice?"
Crymini grumbled. "The only orange juice I drink is 90% vodka."
Husk paused, catching the large shark staring at him curiously.
"I swear you look familiar," Leonard commented. "Have we met?"
Husk shrugged. "Dunno. Possibly. This venue's new, but I've been serving drinks a long time."
Leonard nodded. "That must be it. I've been drinkin' a long time."
Angel Dust slid up against Seviathan. "Gotta say, that was my type of song."
The spider demon's suggestive tone pulled Seviathan's attention from the door that Charlie, Vaggie and Emily had disappeared into. "Uh... thanks."
"You know, I could take you up on that offer. Get your magical rod nice and polished."
Seviathan stepped away, surprised, "That's... um... Angel Dust, right?"
Crymini let out a sharp, barking laugh. "Yeah. You should do that. No ride like Angel Dust!"
The puppy demon received multiple stares.
"What? Just saying you should try it," the girl said. "Angie-D inside you makes the whole day bearable."
Angel Dust gave her a nonplussed look.
Husk's brow furrowed. "How old are you again?"
Crymini spun back to the winged feline bartender. "What the fuck does that matter, cunnycat? I've been doing angel dust since I was twelve. In fact, I'm high on angel dust right now!"
Cherri Bomb leaned towards her friend and stage-whispered, "This is what you get when you share your name with a drug."
Angel Dust just rolled his eyes. "Seriously considering changing it."
Day Zero - Hazbin Hotel private room, night:
Charlie sat down across from Emily, holding a most precious book. Vaggie stood nearby, knowing what to expect as Charlie opened the book and began to read to her two partners.
"Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates..."
Emily sat and listened as Charlie read. She repeatedly refrained from making commentary, until Charlie read the words:
"...But this gift came with a curse. For with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into earth."
Emily finally had to interject. "That is so not the version of this story told in Heaven."
"No," Vaggie agreed. "It is not."
Charlie looked between the two of them, but at their nods, continued.
Emily gave a heartbreaking little "Awwwww!" when Charlie read, "...ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream."
Charlie paused and smiled at Emily, who had teared up a little. Then read, "But Lilith thrived, empowering demonkind with her voice and her songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power."
Charlie stopped and gave Vaggie a challenging smile.
Vaggie returned it with a longsuffering sigh and a smile back.
Emily looked between them questioningly. "What?"
"Charlie's been reading this story since she learned how to read," Vaggie told her. "She's convinced herself that last bit there means Hell is literally fueled by the power of music. I've tried to tell her that life isn't a musical, but..."
Charlie raised her eyebrows, smiling.
Vaggie sighed "With recent events, I'm beginning to believe it myself."
Charlie pumped her fist in victory. "Yes!"
"That..." Emily pondered, "Seems like something you should be able to ask about?"
"Charlie's mom disappeared on her seven years ago." Vaggie quickly added at Charlie's sad expression, "Doing something important, we're sure! But..." Don't say if! "...when she returns, I'll ask her."
Vaggie admitted, "Although if Charlie's right, I half expect Lilith's return would make it obvious. Maybe cause all the music to stop, or every demon would start talking in rhymes."
Seeing Charlie's downcast and sorrowful look, Vaggie turned to her. "Hey, I'm sure she misses you too, wherever she is."
Charlie smiled, if a little weakly. "Thanks, Vaggie."
Emily took Charlie's hand gently as Vaggie moved closer to comfort. "If you want, I can try to find her," Emily offered. "Your mother."
Charlie looked at the new seraphim in their lives with momentary joy. Then she closed her eyes and shook her head. "If mom wanted to come back, she would. She... she must be really busy. Best not to disturb her."
Emily looked at Vaggie, and Vaggie could see the realization in the angel's eyes: Charlie didn't want to risk learning that wasn't the case.
Vaggie could also tell that Emily's next words were meant to distract Charlie from melancholy thoughts of her mother. "This story isn't like Heaven's. But then, our story doesn't even mention the Exterminations. I'm inclined to trust yours a little more. So... what does this story have to do with the thing in our parlor."
Charlie chided. "Please don't refer to one of our guests like that. Even if it is Seviathan."
Emily doubled down. "He can't be redeemed, Charlie. He could never get into Heaven."
Charlie was silent for a moment. Then she told Emily, "I know. Seviathan is hellborn. Like me."
Vaggie found herself asking, "Then why is he here?"
"He says he's just checking in on what his..." Charlie brought her answer to a screeching halt and backed up. "What I am doing."
Charlie looked aside, telling Emily, "The von Eldritches and the Morningstars are Hell's elite families. We've been very close since our families existed."
Looking to Emily, Charlie told her, "My dad, Lucifer, is an angel. From Heaven. That's where his power comes from. The von Eldritches aren't like that."
She opened the book again and re-read. "For with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into earth."
Emily shuddered. "That... makes it sound like evil came from... someplace else."
Charlie nodded. "That's where Fredrick von Eldritch came from too."
Emily stared in silence and at least a little horror.
After a few moments Charlie closed the book and set it aside. "Anyway, we have two new actual guests. We just have to focus on helping them!" She added assuringly, "Don't worry about Seviathan. He'll get bored and leave soon enough. I'll deal with him until then."
"Are you sure, love?" Vaggie asked.
Charlie looked her in the eyes and gave a loving little smile that melted her heart. "Yes. I'm sure." Charlie then turned to Emily. "You going to be okay?*
Emily looked back at Charlie trustingly. "I'm sure you're right. Just a blind spot. I can be fine."
The seraphim paused, fretting mildly. "I left my new I'm fine! shirt somewhere in Heaven."
Vaggie chuckled. Then waved for Charlie to go deal with her new guests. "Go on out, Charlie. We'll follow."
Charlie nodded, needing no further encouragement. She was immediately out the door and cheerfully greeting the new guests again. Vaggie could hear her love graciously thanking Seviathan for his song in a voice that didn't at all suggest she's dying a little inside.
Vaggie closed the door and turned to Emily. "Just so you know, Charlie isn't trying to keep a secret or anything. She just... doesn't like talking about Seviathan and their past together."
"Oh?"
"They dated. Years ago."
"Oh!" Emily took a moment to internalize that. "He does not seem her type."
Vaggie agreed. "He really isn't. And I suspect this is messing with her. But I gotta trust Charlie on this. And hey, she now has two partners to lean on to get through it, right?"
Emily beamed happily.
Vaggie added encouragingly, "And aside from that, two new souls to help. What's not to be happy about that?"
Emily's happiness immediately faltered.
Vaggie's eye widened in alarm. "What? Is there another problem?"
Emily nodded. "Husk owns Leonard's soul."
Day Zero - Hazbin Hotel first floor hallway, nearly midnight:
Charlie caught Seviathan just as he was unlocking the door to his room. She slipped up to him, putting on a sweet tone. "Sooo... Seviathan, you came here with Leonard and Crymini?"
Seviathan shook his head. "Actually just met them out front. Crymini was picking the lock on your gate."
Charlie blinked. "Why? It was unlocked." She paused, fretting. "Wasn't it? Why would it have been locked? We never lock it."
"Top notch security there," Seviathan quipped.
Charlie frowned. "It's a hotel , Seviathan. It's supposed to always be open to people."
Seviathan turned to her. "More of a rehabilitation center, isn't it? Hazbin Rehab didn't roll off the tongue?"
Charlie sighed and tried to stop the dance she had started. "Seviathan. Why are you here?"
Seviathan chuckled. "What? I can't check in on my ol' infernal flame? See how you're doin'?" He reached out to stroke her hair from her face.
Charlie blocked his hand. "Please don't. I have a partner. Partners."
Seviathan pulled his hand back. "Yes, you said. Unexpected, that."
Charlie's eyes narrowed just a little. Don't say it.
"And judging by that patented Charlie's heart is bleeding look on your face when your seraphim screamed, you really care about her," Seviathan observed.
Charlie felt relief. "Both of them."
Seviathan nodded. "Good for you, Charlie. Happy to see you hook up with people you care about rather than someone who is just... convenient."
Charlie looked away, feeling a little wounded and guilty. "We both did that."
Seviathan couldn't disagree. "Sex was good though, wasn't it?" He was teasing, almost. "You're not going to tell me it was so bad it turned you lesbian, now are you? Because that's not how I remember it."
Charlie blushed and looked away. "No. I mean. Yes, the sex was good."
Seviathan noted, "On the other hand, you getting down with two angels? That's hot as fuck."
He fucking said it!
"Literally hotter than Hell," Seviathan continued. "Can't say you didn't trade up."
Charlie's growl was unintentionally cute. "Why are you here?"
She waved at the hotel around them. "You know this place is for the redemption of sinners! It can't do anything for you. So why. Are. You. Here?"
Seviathan adjusted his top hat and leaned on his sword cane. "Seemed like the right time to reconnect, von Eldritch to Morningstar. I mean, you know where he is right now, my father?"
Charlie felt a chill. "Where?"
Seviathan answered, "Sloth. Reconnecting with your dad. And getting himself a chance to make a good impression with his ex."
Charlie stammered. "What!? ...Mom?"
Seviathan looked immediately apologetic. "Oh! No no! Sorry, hellkitty, I didn't mean... No, I meant that fallen seraphim." He took in Charlie's blank stare. "Wait, you didn't know Lucifer and that fallen seraphim used to be a thing?"
Charlie felt something break in her head. Her dad and Sera? With a strained voice, "...what?..."
Seviathan laughed. "Shit, how many ex-girls does your old man have? And they call me a playboy!"
Charlie very much no longer wanted to exist in the vicinity of this conversation.
Seviathan cocked his head. "So, hellkitten, how are you doing?"