So I definitely meant to post this a week ago but I kinda got distracted by a wedding. Not my wedding. Someone else's wedding. That I was in. So I am so sorry for the late update and even more sorry for what you're about to read my dear, dear lovely reader. Enjoy!

(edit: that was the author's note from when this was posted to AO3 in the summer of 2024. Funny enough I was distracted last year by another friend's wedding. ...And again by my sister's wedding this year. Oh to be in your 20s.)

***TW: Attempted Suicide***

Hiccup fell into his chair as he continued to read.

Everyone waited anxiously.

Hiccup's hands slowly dropped to his lap, still clutching the letter. His eyes filled with tears.

"Hiccup... Son, what is it?" Valka asked, reaching out a hand.

Hiccup tried to steady himself. "There's... There's been a death in the Berserker tribe."

The silence grew heavier. Eirson flinched. He knew what was coming. He had read the whole letter already in the presence of Osmond, Halvor, and Oscar. They had been just as horrified as Eirson, even scared of what the implications were. He didn't wait around long to discuss with them because they all knew Hiccup had to see this letter as soon as possible, even better if they saw it before council finished their now nightly meetings. His stomach churned as he waited for Hiccup to read the words that were already running circles in his head.

Eirson noticed Zephyr sway beside him. She caught herself, but quickly lost her balance again, falling against the side of the chair she had pulled over for Eirson. He wrapped an arm around her waist to guide her to sit on the arm of the chair, and pulled her torso to rest against him. He looked up and met her eyes, glassy with tears and darkened by fright.

Everyone else in the room was just as speechless and teary eyed. He wondered if this is what the room felt like the night they learned of the Outcast attack. More than anything he wondered if they were thinking the same thing that he was. These attacks were no coincidence. Their friends were in danger, this island was in danger. This man wanted dragons, and he would do whatever he needed to get to them. But Eirson also knew the warriors in this room would not let that happen, no matter the cost. This was war.

Hiccup threw the letter on the table and buried his face in his hands, tears freely streaming from his eyes now.

Eret was the first to break the heavy silence. "Chief... Who have we lost now?"

Hiccup dragged his hands down until they covered only his mouth and stared at the offensive parchment taunting them all from the table. He set his jaw and scratched his nose. "Gustav," he sniffed. "That bastard killed Gustav. And nearly killed Throk too."

The room immediately grew tense. And then, just as quickly, everyone just… Deflated. Eirson had never seen them all look so despondent. Of all the allied tribes, it was impossible to ignore the fact that New Berk was always the most optimistic, the most resourceful, and above all, the most hopeful. That all seemed to be gone now.

Snap. Thwick. Augh. Shhhhh. Thud.

Eirson flinched. He had been where they are now for a long time.

In the silence, Zephyr slowly reached her arm around Eirson's shoulders. She leaned to the side and rested her head on top of his. He could hear her heart pounding in his ear now, and could feel her chest quiver as she struggled to keep her breathing under control. He gently squeezed her waist and reached across her lap to hold her hand. She held on as if her life depended on it.

"We need to act."

Everyone looked at Hiccup in bewilderment; except for Astrid, who scoffed. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

Hiccup looked her straight in the eyes. "You and I both know what he's really after."

"So you're just going to hand it right over to him?"

"What are you two goin' on about?" Gobber interrupted.

Astrid scoffed again and sat back hard in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's talking about a suicide mission to hand himself over to this maniac."

Just about everyone had a reaction of some kind to that simultaneously.

"Oh absolutely not!" Valka yelled.

"Respect," Tuffnut commended with a nod of his head.

"Jus' like yer father, you dumbass!" Gobber threw his hands in the air.

"Like that'll fix anything," Snotlout argued.

"Dad, no!" Zephyr sat straight up and squeezed Eirson's hand tighter while the hand on Eirson's shoulder clutched his tunic.

"Not funny, Hiccup!" Ruffnut chided.

"Come on, Hiccup, you're smarter than that!" Fishlegs piled on.

Eret, much like Eirson, was simply observing. Atali just shook her head.

"Would you all just listen for a minute?!" Hiccup yelled, slamming his hands on the table and standing fast enough to push his chair backwards. "We almost lost Minden, we already lost Alvin, now Gustav is gone too and Throk has one less arm and a crippled hand. All from this one lunatic! No one else is dying while we sit back and hide!" He scratched his nose again, started to turn away, but angrily gestured back at the letter. "While I sit back and hide, or run, or whatever else. He told Alvin he wanted the 'Dragon King' or whatever, and we all know what that means. It's the days of Drago all over again, but this time we don't have our dragons to help us. It's up to us." He leaned over the table and settled a bit. "Just us."

Eirson was shocked to see such an explosive reaction out of the peacekeeper that was Hiccup Haddock. And judging by the reaction of everyone else in the room, they knew he meant business now.

Hiccup pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Look, I'm not saying I run a suicide mission and surrender or whatever. But maybe it's time that we take the fight to him. Give ourselves the chance to steal the upper hand and shut him down for good."

And then everyone jumped as the door to the meeting room creaked open. They all watched as Halvor slowly peaked around the door. He cleared his throat and stepped into the room. "Uh… All due respect, sir, but any fight picked with Boyra is a suicide mission."

Eirson blinked. "Halvor, what are you doing here?"

"I jus'... I..." Halvor looked nervously at the ground, unsure of how to explain himself. "Osmond and Oscar and I, after ye read the letter and ran off fer Chief Hiccup, we got to talkin' and... We donna want to see what happened to Chief Alvin and Gustav and Throk happen to anyone else."

"Neither do we," Hiccup assured him. "But if we let this Boyra continue to run around the Archipelago unchecked, I'm certain it will happen again."

"Ye canna stop him, sir. He's too dangerous, and he cares not for the people he leads." Halvor looked scared and desperate as he tried to find his words. "He... He tortures them, starves them to the edge of death and promises grand feasts if they kill enough people for his liking."

Eirson remembered the crazed looks of the attacking tribe the night his father was murdered. Their deranged eyes stared back at him every night in his sleep. "Halvor... How do you know that? Don't get me wrong, Boyra's tribe was clearly afraid of him. But that's a big assumption."

"And fairly specific," Hiccup added, suspiciously eyeing Halvor.

Halvor looked to Eirson instead. "Please, sir, ye have to trust me."

"Halvor, you know I do. You've been behind me since the raid, day one. But I don't understand where this is coming from, where you got these ideas. We all agree Boyra is bad, but that doesn't mean we should just let him keep running rampant." Eirson could feel Zephyr eyeing him at that admission but he tried to ignore it, nor did he want to know exactly what her face looked like considering the side glances he got from the rest of New Berk's council. Eirson never did well with conflict, sure, but the time to be timid was long gone. As terrifying as that was, even Eirson could recognize it.

"Because I'd seen it, sir, seen it with my own eyes. Please, ye have to believe me. I canna watch him destroy another tribe. Not like that, especially not like that."

Eirson's heart stopped. He slowly pulled his arm from around Zephyr, slowly brought himself to his feet, eyes never leaving Halvor's frightened eyes, not even to blink. "Halvor… What do you mean, you saw it?"

Eirson could practically see the internal debate Halvor was having with himself. But he never broke eye contact with Eirson.

Eirson leaned over the table, lowering his eyes just enough to make his point clear, and hardened his voice, speaking slowly. "Halvor, I cannot stress enough how important it is that you are fully honest with me right now."

Halvor was clearly struggling to hold his place. "Aye, sir, I understand."

"Then I need you to start explaining yourself. Right now."

Halvor seemed to be losing his internal debate. He broke eye contact with Eirson and took a timid step back. Eirson's stomach dropped.

Eirson looked to Snotlout, who caught his glance and nodded, and then to Tuffnut who did the same. He looked back to Halvor as the two stood and slowly made their way towards Halvor. "Please don't make me do this."

Halvor took another nervous step back as he eyed Snotlout and Tuffnut. "No, wait, I don't mean any harm-" He reached towards the door, and that was enough for Snotlout and Tuffnut to jump on him.

"Well, I've heard enough. Time to put those cells in the back of the caverns to use," Hiccup said.

Snot and Tuff smiled and started to drag Halvor back towards the door.

Cells? "Wait, stop!"

Everyone froze, and Hiccup looked directly at Eirson. "What-"

"Hiccup, Halvor is still an Outcast, one of my tribe. So until I officially surrender my tribe to you or I die before that's possible, please, let me handle my tribesmen my way."

Was that the best way to handle the situation? Probably not. Was it what he said anyway? Apparently so. Might as well do as his father taught him and always stand his ground because dammit it was out there now.

Hiccup raised his eyebrows. Eirson's heart was beating out of his chest. But then Hiccup just puckered his lips approvingly and nodded his head. "Alright, fair enough. You know your men better than me." He held out his hand as if to gesture to Eirson to continue.

Eirson nodded his head in thanks before glaring at Halvor. He chose his words very carefully. "I'm giving you one chance. Because I know you can see the position you're in right now." He pursed his lips, making sure Halvor was listening. Once Halvor looked at him again, he proceeded. "But I do believe that you mean no physical harm. And you brought yourself here voluntarily. So I am going to give you one chance, right here, right now. What did you mean when you said you saw Boyra torture his tribe?"

Halvor grew somber. He dropped his eyes to the ground. And then the truth that Eirson dreaded hearing came out. "He fooled me," Halvor started. "He promised me rank, and security. He told me he was trying to find a better life for his tribe." Halvor looked back at Eirson, eyes dry but swimming in sad darkness. "He locked me in quarters where he asked me to stay and do my work but I got out anyway. I saw the way he treated his people and I knew he was lying to me. I jumped ship on the first island I could."

Eirson dropped his head. "So you're a spy."

"No!" Halvor insisted. "No, a refugee. I wanted away from him, I wanted nothing to do with what he stood for. I never planned anything to come of it, I just hoped I'd be able to hide long enough for him to leave and then somehow leave the island. He didna even know that I left, I was never meant to leave the ship."

"Convenient, then how did you manage to do that, exactly?" Eirson could feel his anger boiling up inside of him.

"There was a small window in the room he locked me in. I managed to squeeze through it after they landed."

"Again, convenient."

Halvor didn't seem to have an answer for that.

Eirson took a deep breath. "Lock him up."

"Chief Eirson!"

He brought himself to look back at Halvor, torn between the man that he had grown to know and the man that stood before him. "I will make sure you're taken care of fairly, Halvor, but until I can be absolutely sure that you're not a threat, I have to do the right thing to protect my tribe and my allies. But I pray to the gods for your sake that you can prove that to me."

Halvor took a shaky breath, tears finally falling from his eyes. "Aye, sir. I understand."

Eirson eyed Halvor one more time, trying to see if he could find anything in his face that gave away his true intentions. But Eirson was too overwhelmed at the moment; the anger inside him was boiling over into something different, something much darker than simple anger. So he looked to Snotlout instead and quietly said, "Take him," before dropping his eyes back to the table.

The room had disappeared from around him long before, but now that the silence enveloped him, every little movement was deafeningly close. Someone shifting in their chair, Hiccup scribbling something on a parchment, Zephyr slowly standing to no doubt comfort Eirson as she always did.

Snap. Thwick. Augh. Shhhhh. Thud.

He did this. Eirson let an enemy into their tribe, onto New Berk. He endangered everyone.

"I... I am so sorry," he said. The words seemed to boom through the room, echoing his mistakes back to him. "I need to go."

They all stared at Eirson as he ran down the back cave. Zephyr had a really bad feeling.

"Zephyr," Hiccup started quietly, eyes on the cave, "do you know anything about Halvor?"

Zephyr thought back. "I mean, Eirson had told me earlier that he was going to talk with Osmond, Halvor, and Oscar tonight." She tried to remember anything bad about him, but nothing came to mind. She shook her head. "I don't know, he's always been really helpful. He's always been really respectful to Eirson, stood up for the other Outcasts, he checks in with Eirson all the time and supports him, he's great at entertaining the kids to help out the young women. I guess it could've been a way to get close to Eirson but he never seemed anything but genuine, I... I'm honestly shocked."

Hiccup nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, well, Eirson seemed pretty shocked, too. Has anyone else had experience with Halvor?"

"I remember he was one of the Outcast boys that helped move everyone out of the main hall back to the caves," Ruffnut offered.

"Aye, and he's been in plenty of times since to make sure they were taken care of. Stayed to chat with many of the lonelier ones as well according to Runa," Valka added. "Wasn't he one of the ones to light some of the funeral pyres for the elders that passed?"

"He was," Astrid agreed. "And when some of the more obstinate New Berkians wanted to keep the Outcasts from the communal stew, Halvor jumped in to protect them. The only one to jump in, if I remember correctly, until Eirson came in and broke it up."

"More attempts to win our trust?" Eret asked.

Hiccup shook his head. "I don't know." He sighed. "I guess we'll have to find out later. I want to talk to Eirson directly before we make any decisions. Despite everything else, Halvor at least seems to trust and respect Eirson, so we need to use that to our advantage. For now, everyone should get some rest. I'm going to make sure Snot and Tuff have got him locked up for the night." He leaned over to kiss Astrid. "I'll be home soon." They both turned to Zephyr expectantly.

Zephyr turned to the cave, and then back to her parents. "I... I really want to check on Eirson before I head home, if that's okay."

Hiccup smiled and hugged her. "That's my girl," he said. "Let us know if you can't find him, okay?"

Zephyr nodded and wasted no time running out the same way Eirson had. He was clearly distressed when he left, and Zephyr could only imagine how much blame he was putting on himself after the things Halvor said. So the first place she looked was a natural choice. It should've been so easy to find him in the same spot he and she both escaped to when they wanted no one else to find them. It was so obvious...

So needless to say, Zephyr was quite startled when she climbed the rocks and didn't find Eirson in their cave. And that quickly turned to fear.

Okay, then his room. Where else would he have gone? Maybe he just wanted to lay down, try to sleep it off. So she started running, which very quickly turned to sprinting as hard as she could as her imagination ran wild of what he could be doing. Or what he could have already done by the time they found him.

But when she burst into his room, she only found Oscar and Osmond. They both stood up quickly. "What's going on?" Osmond asked.

"Where is Eirson? Have you seen him?" Zephyr was panting and her legs ached but she was ready to take off again as soon as she knew where to go.

"I thought he was coming to see you guys."

"He did, but he ran out of council after Halvor... Nevermind, you haven't seen him since then? He didn't come back?"

Osmond and Oscar shared worried looks. "No, he didn't come back here. We've been waiting for him."

"Shit... Shit!"

"Zephyr, what's going on?" Osmond pushed further. "Do you know where he could be?"

"No, I don't, and that's what bothers me. I'm going to get my dad, you guys start looking, we need to find him before he does something stupid."

"Wait, what did Halvor do?" Oscar asked.

Zephyr was already running down the hall. "I'll explain later!"

She almost turned, but she heard their footsteps run after her, so she didn't look back. She burst into her house and found her mother in the kitchen. She looked at Zephyr confused.

"No time to explain, is Eirson here?" Zephyr said hurriedly.

Astrid dropped what she was doing and approached Zephyr. "No, he's not. You can't find him?"

"No, I can't. Where's Dad?"

"I'll get your father, you keep looking, alright?" Astrid took Zephyr's shoulders and turned her back out the door, following her though and shutting it behind them both. "Go, I'll get your father!"

Zephyr didn't argue. She took off back into the woods. So many of Eirson's words were running circles in her head, and the implications made her nauseous.

Maybe the Outcasts who wanted to jump off the cliffs had a point.

There was no life to live anymore.

"So until I officially surrender my tribe to you or I die before that's possible…"

Of all the things that he had been through, all the tortures he endured, all the smacks in the face from the gods themselves… All of that piled on top of each other in just a few short months, it wouldn't take much more to push him over the edge. And Halvor might have just done it.

Zephyr almost vomited. She had to find him. "Eirson!" She choked out his name as she tripped on the underbrush. "EIRSON!"

She felt his necklace bounce against the skin of her collarbone as she ran. Godsdammit she should have ran after him right away! Why did she wait? What was she thinking?!

She could hear Osmond and Oscar calling for him somewhere off to her left. They must have been fairly close, so she banked right to spread their combined search area. She realized she was close to their hideaway now. Maybe he went back there after she left? It couldn't hurt to look again, right? So she ran towards the hideaway.

And as she got closer, she heard a loud splash. Her heart stopped. She stuttered to a halt, listening closely, but the forest was still. She shivered.

The waterfall. There was a huge drop to a spring below, and Zephyr wasn't sure how deep it was. But she knew the water was freezing cold.

She sprinted across the last stretch of forest separating her from the spring, unlocking the clasp in her furs as she ran. Tears poured down her face, she knew she was running out of time already.

She threw her furs over a branch at the bank of the spring and searched the water. Between the turbulence from the waterfall and the darkness of the woods it was hard to see anything in the water. The moon was bright tonight but the trees blocked its light from truly illuminating the spring. But then she saw something move under the water.

Her heart nearly beat out of her chest. She started stripping as much of her clothes as she could. "Osmond! Oscar!" She yelled as loud as she could, knowing she'd need help dragging him up onto the bank. "Osmond! Help!"

Gods, I hope they heard me. She shook out her body and took a deep breath. This was going to suck.

She screamed for Osmond and Oscar one more time, took a deep breath, and dove into the water.

The shock of the cold water made her gasp, and by instinct alone her body shot back up to the surface. But she saw what she needed to see. He was down there, she knew she saw him. She coughed out the water she accidentally inhaled as soon as she broke the surface. She heard Osmond yelling for her in the distance but his voice was getting closer.

"Osmond!" Her voice wasn't as loud as before but she hoped he could hear her. "I found him! I found him!"

Her body adjusted enough to the cold that she could take another deep breath. She dove again and found him right away. Wasting no time, she wrapped her arms under his shoulders and pulled him to the surface.

She gasped as soon as she broke the surface. To her horror, she noticed that Eirson didn't.

"Thor Almighty! Come here, over here, Zephyr!" She turned to find Osmond next to the branch with her furs. She swam over to him, dragging Eirson's motionless body with her. Osmond reached down to pull him out of the water so that Zephyr could pull herself out. "What in the name of Hel happened?" Osmond asked.

"D-d-don't know." Zephyr's teeth chattered so hard she thought they might break. "Os-s-s-scar?"

"He went to get some help."

She looked down at Eirson. He was blue and cold, and his chest wasn't moving. She crawled over to his side and Osmond laid an ear over his chest. As he listened for a heartbeat, Zephyr grabbed his face. "Eir… D-d-don't-t leave m-m-m-me…"

Osmond sighed. "Thank Thor, his heart's beating."

Zephyr felt like the world was moving far too slow. "N-n-n-not breath-th-th-thing."

"Come on, Chief, you're not leaving us like this," Osmond muttered. He pounded on Eirson's chest. "Come on. Come on."

"Eir…" Zephyr's eyes never left his face. He was so blue… He was so cold… Like there was nothing left. She sobbed and leaned over, resting her forehead against his. "Eir… P-please…"

And then he coughed.

Zephyr jumped up as Eirson coughed again. She pushed his head to the side so the water could fall out of his mouth easier. Osmond caught on and pushed Eirson up on his side. "Oh gods," she sighed. "Oh th-thank Odin."

"You can say that again," Osmond agreed, clearly relieved. "Welcome back, Chief." He pulled off the fur vest he was wearing and draped it over Eirson's torso, then jumped up to grab Zephyr's furs and wrapped them around her shoulders. Zephyr hardly noticed. She was too focused on Eirson.

Eirson took some gasping breaths and finally opened his eyes. He looked around with bleary eyes before he found Zephyr. "Zeph?"

"It's okay. It's okay, I'm here. I'm right here." She grabbed his hand and cupped his cheek with her other hand. "I've got you, Eir. It's gonna be okay, I've got you." At this point she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. But she could hear footsteps racing towards them, which meant help was almost here.

"I… I'm… Sorry…"

Zephyr stopped him. "No, none of that right now. Just stay awake, okay? Just stay with me."

Eirson shivered. "Okay."

Hiccup and Oscar burst through the trees. "Oh gods," Hiccup said. "We gotta get you two warm." He pulled off his own furs and rushed to Eirson's side. "Help me get him up, guys."

They sat Eirson up and Osmond helped him put on his fur vest. They pulled him to his feet, and Hiccup wrapped his furs around Eirson before pulling one of Eirson's arms over his shoulder. Oscar quickly supported Eirson's opposite side. "Let's get to Tuffnut, he's not too far from here."

"Go ahead," Osmond said, "I've got Zephyr, we'll move faster than you guys." Hiccup nodded in response as they started off with Eirson.

Osmond ran over to Zephyr. He offered his hand to her, waiting for her to accept his help before touching her. When she took his hand, he reached his other arm around her back and helped her stand. "Careful, I've got you."

"Thanks, Osmond." She was so exhausted, and as much as she wanted to say that she could walk on her own, she couldn't find the strength to lift her weight off of Osmond.

"No need to thank me." Osmond made sure he had a good hold on Zephyr before they started off. "We owe a lot to Eirson, and he's a good guy. A better chief than he thinks he is, too. And we owe a lot to you and your parents."

They caught up to the other three fairly quickly. What seemed like ages later, they dragged themselves into the Healing Hut, where Astrid was waiting for them outside.

"What in the name of Thor… What happened?!" Tuffnut jumped to his feet and ran forward as they staggered into the main room. "You're soaked, what the fuck. Inga! Gunnar! Somebody get some dry clothes and a shit ton of blankets! You, over there." He pushed Zephyr towards one corner of the room. "Strip. Now. You too," he ordered Eirson as he pulled him to the opposite side. "I mean, honestly, were you two trying to kill yourselves?!"

Everyone froze and turned to Tuffnut and Eirson; the latter recoiled and dropped his head.

Tuffnut seemed to regret his words but was no less angry. Zephyr thought she heard him mutter something along the lines of not doing a very good job. However, she didn't have time to be mad about it, as her mom spun her around to face the wall and began pulling at her wet garments. After a flurry of activity while Astrid and Ingar helped undress and redress Zephyr while Tuffnut and Gunnar did the same for Eirson, they wrapped the pair up in as many blankets as they could find and sat them in front of the fireplace. Tuffnut ordered them to stay put, and they all left the room to talk to Hiccup, Osmond, and Oscar who were waiting outside.

Zephyr and Eirson sat in silence.

Zephyr found herself intently focused on Eirson's breathing. His body wasn't as blue as when she initially pulled him out of the spring, and he was actually shivering in response to the cold now. But Zephyr wasn't convinced, she was still afraid that something would happen and he would leave her for good.

He sighed and pulled his body over to the wall of the fireplace, leaning his back against it and pulling his blankets tight around him. He pulled the blankets up to cover his face from his nose down as well, keeping his eyes on the ground as if he was avoiding looking at Zephyr.

All Zephyr wanted was to be close to him. The closer she was to him, the more sure she felt that he was okay, that he wasn't going anywhere, that he was safe now. The distance between them felt immeasurably large. She just wanted to make sure he was still breathing. She needed to make sure he was still breathing.

She had to make sure he was still breathing.

She dragged herself closer to him until she was firmly pressed against his side, but it wasn't close enough. So she curled herself up into a ball, legs resting on top of his thighs, and hugged his arm. It still wasn't close enough. She wanted to find a way to pull herself closer to him, but then he broke the silence.

"Zeph, I… I'm so sorry, I… I wasn't trying to hurt you."

As if it wasn't already broken, her heart shattered. She looked up at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Is… Is that what you think I'm upset about right now?" she whispered.

His eyebrows scrunched together. He turned his head slightly towards her. "You're mad, aren't you? At me?"

"Eir… No… I'm scared." She looked down at his chest, watching the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. She reached out a hand and felt his strong heartbeat beneath it. "I was scared."

"I wasn't trying to scare you, either."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I know you weren't."

He lifted the hand she wasn't leaning on and started to reach it in her direction, but he hesitated. Her heart ached, she wanted to be closer to him, close enough to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. So she sat up and shrugged the blankets off her shoulders, ignoring Eirson when he started to protest. She climbed into his lap and rested against his chest, ear over his heart so she could hear its steady beating. It quickened at first as he hesitated, but eventually slowed, and he didn't protest again. Instead, he grabbed her blankets and laid them on top of her, pulling his blankets around her as well, and held her tight to his chest. He took a deep breath and finally relaxed. She felt gentle lips against her crunchy damp hair, soon replaced by his cheek as he rested his own head on top of hers.

"I'm still sorry I put you through that," he softly repeated. "Thank you for saving my life. Again."

"Again?"

He nodded.

"I'm pretty sure that was the first freezing cold pond I pulled you out of," she jested half heartedly. "You were the one that saved me from falling off a cliff."

He chuckled. "True. But you have saved me before. Nearly every day since Dad died. You've been there for me. You helped me through the worst days of my life. You saved my life every day."

She took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry I wasn't there today. That I didn't come sooner."

He gave her a gentle squeeze. "That's not your fault. I just… I wasn't thinking…"

Zephyr took a shaky breath. She could still see his blue face, closed eyes, still chest, cold body. She felt the blood chilling fear of losing him all over again. She blinked hard, trying to push the image far away. She focused on his heartbeat, still strong in her ear. She took a deep breath and tried to match her breathing to his.

"Shh… It's okay, I'm here." He hugged her tight and kissed her hair again. "I'm not going anywhere."

She begged her mind to believe his words. "Eir?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, a little afraid of the answer to the question that popped in her head. "Am I… Am I the only reason you have left?"

She could tell just from his hesitation that he understood what she meant. And that hesitation made her very scared that he would say she was. She didn't want to be his only reason to live. She wanted to know he had more to fight for. She wanted him to feel a purpose, to have a goal, a direction to work towards.

"Please be honest with me, Eir."

He took a breath. "Okay." He paused and kissed her head again, as if thinking through his words. "I have other things to live for, I know I do. I have my tribe, and my allies. I want to know that they're safe and well cared for, and I can't do that if I'm gone. I still don't know if I'm the best choice to lead them, but if they want me to, I guess… I guess I have to try." He paused and leaned to the side. Curious, Zephyr lifted her head to find him looking at her. "But Zeph? You're a big reason, too. Maybe the biggest reason I have."

Yet again Zephyr felt the crushing ache in her chest. A part of her was relieved that the entire weight of Eirson's existence didn't rest entirely on her shoulders. But at the same time, something in her longed to let him know she needed him to be here. She wanted him to have purpose, but hearing him say those words made her want that purpose to be her. She wanted him to want her, as much as she was realizing she wanted him. She reached up and brushed her fingers along his cheek. She combed his damp hair away from his face with her fingers. She rested her hand against the side of his head and pulled him slightly towards her. She leaned in closer to him and tilted her head slightly, a movement that felt so natural when he did the same… And she kissed him.

Immediately everything in that moment just felt right. Sitting next to the fire, wrapped in a blanket with him, snuggled into his chest with his arms around her… It felt safe and comfortable and right, like this was exactly where she was meant to be, and exactly who she was meant to be with. When she pulled away from him, he blinked in surprise. She softly giggled and rested her hand against his cheek.

He smiled at her, a goofy lopsided taken-by-surprise kind of smile that made Zephyr's heart flutter. She smiled back and finally relaxed, snuggling back into his chest. He hugged her tight and rested his head onto hers again, sighing happily. They didn't even care that they were caught in that position when everyone else came back into the room.