I do not own any of the characters or The Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC). Those are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, and without his genius, this and many other fan fics would not be in existence.
I...gosh, I don't even know where to begin -_- Let's see- this past summer on my mini-farm was spent weeding, checking things, more weeding, building a fence, more weeding...then came harvest right on the heels of last planting (because I got it in late-fruit trees start ripening in July), and then it was weeding, canning, weeding some more, canning...then everything ripened at once it seems, then come August, I woke up middle of the night in excruciating pain and sent home with a diagnosis of "acid reflux" (that was bullshit, btw- I've had it before and it does NOT feel like someone's trying to run you through with a red hot sword!), landed in the ER, and by October, I started having horrible pain constantly in my upper right abdomen, and come November 4, I had surgery to remove a gallbladder that had simply quit working and was only functioning at 3% O.o Then came recovery, THEN came catching up on TWO FULL MONTH'S worth of work that I couldn't do due to that damn gallbladder and subsequent surgery -_- When it rains it pours, I guess- BUT I'M FINALLY CAUGHT UP! (and doing MUCH better). I still have sewing and quilting and crochet to do, and will probably spend most of the winter working on that, but I can finally write now! Woohoo! :D
So as a reward for your wonderful patience (which at this point I wonder if I even deserve :( ), I am giving you an extra LONG chapter :) I hope you enjoy it, and as always, please review, follow and favorite! :D :D :D Sometimes simply chatting with reviewers helps keep my brain in Middle-earth even if my hands are busy with other tasks, so it's more helpful than you know :)
Fili groaned, his mind still foggy with sleep. His arm futily grasped toward the direction where the warmth had been, but now all he could feel was cold, damp earth under his fingertips. Slowly his sleep laden eyes opened, revealing what his fingers had already discovered.
"Wh-where...?" he mumbled, still not fully awakened yet. The young prince slowly sat up, his entire body aching from sleeping in one position all night long. A sudden, sharp jab in his back caused him to cry out in annoyance.
"Ow!" he cried, trying to turn around and see where the perceived assault had come from. Ori's normally gentle voice sounded behind him in uncharacteristic ferocity and more than a hint of irritation.
"Fili, get off my foot!" he growled, jabbing the young prince again in the back as he tried to push him over. Fili muttered something slightly less polite under his breath, before attempting to scoot over, only to have his own efforts impeded by Bofur's body on his legs.
"Oi, Bofur get off of me!" he snapped, kicking his leg in an attempt to free it. Bofur startled up suddenly with a snort, before gracing the young prince with a glare.
"And here I was just finally getting to sleep!" he muttered, punctuating his anger with a rough push of Fili's leg away from him. "And you had to go and ruin it and wake me!" Similar shouts sounded across the group as others awakened, only to find themselves a mess of tangled limbs and, in Gloin and Nori's case, hair.
The young prince glared back at the miner as he opened his mouth to retort, before a sudden realization entered his mind. He looked back at the spot where the warmth he'd felt all night had left, and his eyes widened in panic as he realized the reason why.
"Where's Kili and Cira?!" Thorin stood up, before looking quickly around the group. His eyes met Fili's, and the young dwarf looked at the now empty spot where the pair had fallen asleep the night. The young prince didn't need to see to know that Thorin's gaze had followed his own, because right at that moment an explosive curse sounded through their makeshift campsite, immediately silencing the loud uproar.
"Mahalu-me turg!"
XXX
Kili stood with his back to the tree, his hand ready to reach for the hilt of his sword should it be necessary. His mind was deep in thought as he pondered their early morning conversation.
She really thought I wouldn't be her friend anymore?
He knew he had been cold out of fear of her discovering his feelings, but he hadn't realized just how distant he had been. His heart had sunk at her pleading words begging him to forgive her, and he internally berated himself for having made her think that he was so angry with her when in fact he'd just been frightened.
If she finds out that I'm in love with her, I WILL lose her friendship forever. She would believe me to be the most dishonorable dwarf that ever walked Middle-earth, and would find me disgusting and repulsive.
He thought again on Fili's suggestion. If he could just pretend, even for a moment, that things were the way they were before, perhaps it will help. At least now, she knew that he was struggling with a burden, which in and of itself had lifted a great deal of weight off his shoulders. She would now understand if he sometimes needed to be distant and not believe him angry anymore, and she would likely see the weight of that burden in his face, rather than the love he was trying so desperately to hide. Her words came back to him.
I'll be happy to bear your burdens with you so you aren't alone.
He swallowed heavily as he stared at the tree opposite him. Some water was still dripping off its branches, having been sodden in the storm from the previous night. He watched as the drops fell from the ends of the swaying moss all the way down to the ground, where the drop disappeared in the midst of many, many autumns' worth of fallen oak leaves. Only one word kept echoing through his mind, but that word spoke volumes.
Why?
He sighed, before pushing that thought away. He would never know why fate would have allowed him to fall in love with someone he couldn't have, but what he could do is cherish the friendship they shared.
Fili is right. I can be friends with her, same as before. I just cannot let her see more than that, that's all.
He took a deep breath, before squaring his shoulders in determination. If they were doomed to be nothing more than friends, then he would make sure to be the best and most honorable friend to her he could be.
No matter what it takes.
XXX
Cira finished up what she needed to do, before stuffing the supplies in her bag.
This is really disgusting, she thought to herself. How women in this world travel with this without losing their minds is nothing short of a miracle.
Once again, she was very grateful for Gloin's intervention on her behalf at Beorn's house. She had certainly been mortified in front of others before, many times in fact, but that had to have been one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. And now she was stuck in the rather unhygienic circumstance of being unable to wash her things for at least a month.
Likely more, if the dwarves are stupid enough to leave the path like they did in the book.
The young woman quickly pushed thoughts of what was to come out of her mind. It would do her absolutely no good to remember that at some point in this forest, there was the very real likelihood that they might run into giant spiders the size of volkswagens. If she continued to dwell on it, she may well not sleep a wink until they find themselves in Laketown.
Thoughts of the wooden town suddenly filled her with panic. She knew absolutely no one in Middle-earth except the members of the company, Beorn, Elrond, and Gandalf. And outside of the company, the others would be hundreds of miles away from her by the time they reached the village. She had begged Thorin to let her come that far with them outside of Rivendell so he would permit her to join their group, but now she began to realize just how foolish that had been.
She knew without a doubt that Thorin would not let her anywhere NEAR that mountain as long as a dragon dwelled within. And now that she thought about it, she had a strong feeling that even if he did, Kili and Fili would not, and neither would any of the others. She had no money, no gold, no coin, only her ring- and that belonged to Thorin upon their arrival to Laketown.
What am I going to do? I can't just show up in a city and settle in- especially one that is built on the water where I can't just build a house to live in on the outskirts.
She knew the basics of building a log cabin and laying bricks, and even had a pretty good idea how to build a fireplace from stones if needed. She might struggle a bit with the weight of the logs, but if she allowed them to dry long enough, and used some of the basic physics knowledge she had from her schooling, she figured she might be able to put something together soon enough had Laketown been a land town, not one on the water.
And I don't have any tools either. I can't chop down trees or cut notches with a sword. I should have asked Elrond for an axe instead.
She knew how to grow vegetables, and how to take care of farm animals, for the most part. But she didn't have the seeds to start them, nor did she have any animals or any gold with which to buy any. She didn't have any possessions in this world at all except her weapons, her clothes and supplies, and the boots on her feet. She glanced down at those, and even though they were elven made she knew they wouldn't last forever.
And then there was the events surrounding Laketown to consider. She dearly hoped the dwarves wouldn't piss off the dragon and lead him to torch the town, but she wasn't going to hold her breath on it either. Her face paled as she thought of the angry dragon raining havoc and destruction and fire upon the town, and the screams of the people as they tried to escape a fiery death.
What happens if I am stuck in the town when the dragon comes?
A quiet voice broke her from her thoughts, and she tried to calm her voice.
"Cira?" Kili asked from behind the tree. "Is everything all right?"
"Y-yes," she answered quickly, before standing to her feet. The young woman rounded the tree, only to come face to face with a rather bewildered and somewhat embarrassed young dwarf.
"I-it's just...you...you sounded startled," he stammered as his face turned crimson. The young woman looked at him in confusion.
"I sounded startled?" she asked, and he nodded.
"You gasped suddenly," he replied, before looking at her. His eyes roamed over her face for a second, and his obvious embarrassment was quickly replaced with concern.
"You look frightened," he said, looking at her closely. "You're very pale. Are you sure-" She nodded quickly, cutting him off.
"Yes," she replied, willing her heart to slow down and her voice to not betray her. "I-I just...had a frightening memory all of a sudden, that's all. It's nothing." His expression indicated that he didn't fully believe her, but he nodded and ceased his inquiry. A shout rang out in the distance, and he looked over her shoulder toward where she knew their camp to be.
"It sounds like the others are awake," he said, before looking at her. "We should head back." She nodded, before looking rather apprehensively over her shoulder.
"Are you sure you want to head back right now?" she asked, looking back at him. "They sound rather...grumpy, to say the least." Kili looked back in the distance, before looking back at her with a slight smile.
"Not really," he replied with a slight yawn. "I imagine they're rather grumpy, as you put-" A sudden, very clear shout rang out through the trees, and the young prince visibly paled.
"We need to get back," he said quickly as he moved past her. "That was Thorin, and I should not repeat what he just said." Her eyes widened, and she nodded, quickly following the young prince.
You don't have to repeat it. I know what he said, and he's NOT happy.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A response to guest reviewer Teeshadii- This is a response to all the reviews you sent me over the past couple days. Responses for part 1: Ch. 108- Thank you! And don't worry- the story is still in progress ;) Ch. 109- I'm glad! It's good that each chapter is better because that means I'm improving as a writer :) Thanks- Kili's characterization is based upon what I observed in books and films, and how he would react given a certain situation based on that. As for honor (American, sorry ;) dwarves operate on a very honorable code. They might lack honor when bonkers from gold sickness lol, but as a general rule dwarves are very honorable people. And it also points to Kili as a person- he not only has honor, but he respects her and loves her deeply- and as a result, he is refusing to be selfish and risk not only his honor, but also hers as well. I cannot STAND the whole "love at first sight" thing- it's so unrealistic and frankly stupid (infatuation, or lust, would be a better word in that sentence). Love is something that grows over TIME, even if that time is only a few months (and when you're with someone 24/7, it can accelerate things like that) but it definitely CANNOT be at first sight because you literally know nothing about the person or who they are. Kili's showing what true love is- as you put it, sacrificing your own happiness for the other person. Love is about giving, not taking, is selfless and pure and honorable, and I wanted that to be clear in my story. Glad to hear it is :)
Now onto your latest review: I know- I'm a horrible author right now -_- I hope the explanation above helped as to why it hasn't been updated in so long. Plus, I have chronic health issues (that about killed me last summer- was in ER 4 times via ambulance) and though the chronic issue is being managed now, I just found out that I need to have gallbladder removal surgery on Friday Nov 4. So while I am DETERMINED to finish this story/series, and I will, I ask you to be patient just a LITTLE while longer. I don't know how my recovery will go (if I'll feel awesome after or if my chronic issue will balk at the incisions), but now that autumn work/farm work is wrapping up, and I'll be laid up for a while, hopefully that will lend itself to more chapters ;) I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I hope to have you enjoy it further as I continue to update (however sporadic that may be- stupid health issues).
A response to your part 1 ch 62 review- Thank you! :) Everything I read about dwarves points to, while stoic on the outside, I believe that they feel things VERY deeply (hence why they have long memories of hurts and benefits), especially grief, and thus that's why Thorin and Fili's grief is so strong. I'm glad you're still enjoying it. Re-reading factor is a sign of a great story, so I am so glad to hear it! :D
A response to your part 2 ch 31 review: I love that you loved it re-read! That's great! :D Good luck on your homework ;) I try to update as I am able, but haven't caught up on all my work yet. I will try to update soon :)
MANY thanks to all who review, favorite, and follow- you guys are so patient with me and I greatly appreciate it! :D :D :D