Book I: The Birth of the Order

Chapter III: Leaving Diagon

Music Theme: Ready for Love - Bad Company

Hogwarts Spring 1976...

Regulus Black walked silently up the hallways after finishing the cauldrons in potions class. It was almost dinner time, but he walked slowly to take his time. The social dynamics of school were getting harder and harder to navigate and he appreciated solitude when he could find it. He heard voices but assumed they were just the paintings in another argument over if the world was flat or not, but as he got closer he recognized his brother's voice. "James, will you just talk to me about this?"

"Not now, Black." James' voice said.

"Black? Since when do you call me that!?"

"Since last night. You want to act like someone I barely know, then I'll treat you that way!"

Regulus hurried to the corner so he could listen as closely as possible. He peeked around the stone wall up the other hallway and saw the two arguing with Peter Pettigrew standing silently nearby.

James said, "I have been thinking all day what words I could possibly say to you, Sirius. I've been asking myself what logic you could have used or what reasoning and I can't come up with anything!" He looked at Peter and started up the hall, "Come on, Wormtail. We're going to dinner."

"No no no," Sirius stepped in front of James to stop him. "You don't get to break your silence all day, state your moral dominence and then shuffle off without me getting to defend myself. That isn't how this works."

"Defend yourself?' James asked turning back around. "What defense could you possibly have that justifies what you did?"

"Snape had it coming, you know that. He was onto us. He almost outed Remus, what other option did I have but to-"

"But to what? MURDER HIM?"

"You know that wouldn't have happened."

"No. I don't, Sirius. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't been there to stop it. Do you have any idea what would become of Remus if Snape had been hurt, or worse? Do you know what that would mean for you? For us? I know Snivillus is a git, but he's someone's kid-"

"Oh this is rich," Sirius let out a single laugh, "You defending Sour Grape Snape?"

"I'm defending a moral code, Sirius. Something you broke last night. I'm not talking about this anymore. I'm going to dinner and I'll appreciate every bite because the fact that Dumbledore didn't just expel all of our asses is a bloody miracle." He pat Peter on the shoulder who spun around, head hanging low, and walked off beside his friend. Regulus pressed his back as hard as he could against the wall to avoid the sight of James and Peter who stayed too focused in their own thoughts to notice him. He wasn't so fortunate to avoid his brother however who rounded the corner and slammed into him.

"You!"

"Sirius, I-"

Sirius grabbed his brother and pinned him against the wall, the smaller boy still cluthcing his books. "How much did you hear?!"

"N-nothing, I-"

"Swear it!"

Regulus was a bit off-put by his brother. He seemed desperate today, tired, dishevelled and defeated. If Regulus tried, he probably could have looked deep into his brother's eyes at that moment and seen his inner-mount soul. The moment of vulnerability made him shiver though and he shoved his brother off of him. "Stop acting like your life is oh-so interesting, Sirius."

"If you tell anyone what you've heard I'll-"

"You'll what? Write to mummy? Make your friends hex me?" He stood up straight as Sirius just clenched his jaw, "from where I stand, it appears you don't have any of those people to help you anymore and it's safe to guess there's nobody to blame but yourself."

He walked by Sirius, slamming shoulders as they passed to shove Sirius aside. "Oh," he turned and faced him once more to add, "How does it feel to be alone, Sirius?" The dig was personal, for Regulus was the only one Sirius had ever admitted his greatest fear to - loneliness. And though Sirius, hated to admit it, he was right. There was nobody to blame but himself.

Diagon Alley - September 1979...

"You're a werewolf?" Tabitha said the words as if it was a spell. She leaned back onto the stone alley wall to support herself.

Remus looked down. "Surprise..."

"I can't believe it. This is why you said you couldn't be with someone? All this time? Oh Remus." She covered her face. "Why didn't you tell me. Oh I wish you had told me."

"I can't be with someone. I'm not a good man. Tabitha, I'm not even human. How was I supposed to tell you that I'm a monster?"

"Not a good man? Remus... When I was a kid I thought you hung the bloody moon! You're kind, and gentle and all the things a monster isn't! So don't think this condition of yours makes you one."

"Tabs, you deserve the world-"

"Don't do that." She shook her head. "Don't try to tell me I deserve better as if that exists..."

"Tabitha, you don't know me. The real me anyway. You haven't seen what I've become. The nearest you get is to see the after effect." He motioned to the scars on his face.

"You would never harm anyone."

"Yes, I can. I have no control over it. I could have seriously hurt any of the lads. Not to mention I almost attacked Sn-" He caught himself before revealing the name. "A Slytherin that followed me one night."

"Well.. serves them right for being nosey." She smirked trying to lighten the mood but Remus wasn't amused.

"Don't defend it, Tabitha. I'm a monster. I've accepted that."

"You're not a monster." She said it calmly, making Remus shocked by her understanding. "I'm sure the boys tell you that too. Well if so, they are right. They're right, I'm right and you're wrong. My family hunted monsters, banshees, all over Ireland. I've seen monsters and you are not one. So you can say what you want about yourself, but I will never stop believing you are anyone less than… than a wonderful person." They stood awkwardly and Tabitha shifted and forced a chuckle. "Maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have let it stop me from telling you the truth. I just thought I couldn't because you were a loner like you said. So I kept it to myself for the last couple of years of school."

"And that's why you hardly spoke to me last term."

"Aye. It was too hard. Some days I thought I should just tell you, especially when I saw Mary McDonald following you around. But each time you avoided her, it confirmed my suspicions that you didn't want anyone bothering you." He opens his mouth but she raises her hand. "Remus please. I've hurt myself enough. I can't hear the general 'I care about you as a friend but done care care' speech. I'll be fine. I've taken the year to travel and get over it and so far it's... somewhat helped. Sorry for this."

Remus just stood there as she spoke to him and didn't say anything. What could he say? Anything else would make it worse. Finally he said in a very small voice. "I never said I didn't care, Tabitha."

"I know," She smiled. "I know you care about all of your friends..." she looked up at him again but this time his face had changed. He looked her in the eye with the same expression she had seen during their most private conversations in school. The ones where they would be totally vulnerable with one another. Tabitha was so caught of guard. Her eyes widened.

Was he saying he did care about her?

The two weren't able to say much more as they heard Sirius' booming voice from the street. "You have to ask if I'm the Best Man? I'm not the Best Man by default? I'm offended, Prongs."

James grinned, throwing his arm around his best friends shoulders. "Well, I had to notify you somehow to get your best robes ready" James grinned. "And practice your dancing. You have two left feet, mate" he said teasingly, patting his best friend on the shoulder sympathetically

"Maybe I have two left feet, but at least I don't look like a deer when I dance. You might want to work on that before the wedding, mate."

"You're barking mad, Padfoot. Now keep it down. Lily will be out of the Owlery soon." He scanned the streets for her when he saw Remus and Tabitha emerge. "Where did you two come from?"

"We were talking," Remus said flatly without a hint of a further explanation. "What's all this about a best man?"

"Well Moony, you're officially the last to know," Peter said as he patted James on the back, "That Prongs here is tying the knot."

"Pete!" Sirius elbowed the round boy for being so blunt. "Sorry Lupin, we were looking for you to tell you and Wormtail here was being impatient."

"It's ok. I guess me being the last to know things is the new normal," He muttered and instantly regretted saying it aloud as he realized the dig it was at Tabitha. "So, you're finally popping the question then?" He perks up at the sight of James' pleased expression. "I'm proud of you mate. Congrats. She's bloody brilliant."

"What about you, Delaney. Aren't you going to congratulate him," Peter said with glee. Truth be told he was just excited to see the number of people hearing the news after him.

"Don't feck it up, Potter." She said with a smirk.

"Aw, you stole what I was going to write on their wedding gift." Sirius said with a chuckle.

Lily emerged from the owlery at the mouth of the street and waved to the others. "James!" She walked up to him and glanced at Remus and Tabs. "Did something happen while I was gone?" She looked up at him "Why are you acting so strange? Why is everyone acting strange?"

James smiled back to her and put an arm around her. "Strange? Who's acting strange? I haven't noticed any strangeness.

Sirius looked around at everyone trying to find a way to change the subject. "So you all will be at the meeting tonight?"

"I will be," Peter said. "So will Remus."

"James will be there just as I will be," She looked to Tabitha. "Tabitha?"

"Oh," Tabitha seemed a bit caught off guard. "Well, I don't want to just barge back in here."

"It's not barging," Lily said with a soft smile.

"Ok," Tabitha said. "I'll stop by. I guess my group won't miss me until after then."

"You're group?" Remus looked down at her and she nodded, still unable to look him in the eye.

"I picked up some muggle companions during my travels. The four of us backpack together. I told them I was taking a day to myself, but didn't give them a set time I would be returning. Only one who would get worried is Glenn."

"Who is Glenn?" Remus insisted on knowing as his brow furrowed.

"Alright, gang." James interrupted, "I suggest we apparate there in pairs. That way we don't look suspicious all walking alone but we also don't draw the attention from being a large group."

"Where has the McKinnon wandered off to?" James asked.

"Peter and I can find her," Sirius said.

"Yea, he can't be alone with her since he made out with another girl at the year-end party but he says he doesn't remember." Peter chuckled.

"You did what?" Tabitha snapped.

"And I'll go with Lily," James said trying to change the subject. "That leaves you and Delaney together Remus."

Remus stepped next to Tabs trying to be as casual as possible. He wished she could have gone with Sirius to save the awkwardness. Tabitha forced a smile at the group, hiding the ache Remus' words caused her. How could he think so little of himself? "Remus and I will apparate from behind Gringots so we aren't seen. See you in a few." She walked away to lead Remus up the street and behind the bank.

"We could go behind Flourish and Blott's," Sirius said. "See you there. Come on Pete. Marlene is probably found a bookshop or something."

James took Lily's hand and smiled to her. "Come on. We can apparate from the base of the street. It's too crowded for people to notice." Lily gave his hand a light squeeze and walked beside him.

Meanwhile, Marlene was doing the same thing Tabitha had been earlier, scanning the Prophet. She was looking amongst the names of the undesirables. Marlene came from a rather large family and feared it was only a matter of time before one had been pegged as a "blood traitor." Unlike Tabitha, Marlene didn't take the Prophet as gospel. She'd seen some members of Pure Blood families accused in it's articles of treason against the Wizard World and marked as 'undesirables'. But after some investigating on her own, she found that these people had only rejected the new dark order and suddenly their names were being listed in the prophet as "traitors." It was clear to her that someone at the Ministry was corrupt and she was determined to find out who it was.

"Oi, McKinnon!" Peter called causing the blonde girl to jump. "We're moving out. Come on."

Sirius whacked the back of his head as a signal to keep it down.

Marlene was crossing the street to join then when she was practically run over by a tall man heading towards Knocturn Alley. "Hey!" She turned towards them to try demanding an apology but she was stopped as Sirius grabbed her arm and yanked her back to hide in the doorway of Madam Malkins. He clapped a hand over a mouth just as she began to protest and he held a finger to his lips, instructing her to stay quiet. Marlene squirmed a bit but the look on his face made her realize he must have good reason. After a moment he let her go and peeked around the corner, pointing out the man who had rudely almost run her down. "Fenrir Greyback," She said quietly when she saw him. "You think he's been recruited by you-know-who?"

Sirius shook his head, "Werewolves aren't exactly what I would picture as a desirable in the eyes of you-know-who. Just the same though... let's keep moving. Pete, lead the way. I'll keep an eye out. I know he has every right to be here, but his intentions may be more than shopping. Did he see you, Mar?" She shook her head, "I don't know."

"He did," Peter squeaked. "He looked like he bumped her on purpose."

"Then he was trying to pick a fight," Sirius said it sternly. "Good thing he didn't get it."

"And good thing he didn't see Remus," Peter muttered.

"Lupin? Why? What's he got to do with Greyback?" Marlene asked and Sirius gave a stern look at Peter.

"No reason..." Peter said quickly. "Come on." They hurried to the safety of the darkness behind the building but Sirius stopped, scanning the streets. When no one was watching he joined the others and vanished.

Remus and Tabitha had safely found a place out of sight to take their leave. Tabitha spun around and held out her hand. "Come on then."

Remus kept his hands in his pockets and looked at her. "Who is Glenn?"

"What?"

"Glenn. You said he will be worried about you."

Tabitha sighed and let her hand drop. "He's my best friend."

"I thought Lily was your best friend."

"He's one of my best friends. I met him on my first week of traveling in Germany. He heard my Irish accent while I was asking for directions. He's from Cork, Ireland. A muggle. A nice guy. We got along so we decided to backpack together."

"Just you two?"

"Only for a bit but, we picked up two more. An American girl we met a month later and we just had a bloke from Northern Europe join a few weeks ago."

Remus nodded and looked around the alley as he thought to himself.

"Remus why do you care so much about this?"

"I don't."

"I've known you a long time, Rem. I can tell this is bugging you."

"Right. I just want you to be happy."

"… Happiness isn't that easy to find, I'm afraid." She crossed her arms and they both stood awkwardly apart. "I shouldn't have told you how I felt, Remus."

"It's my fault. I dragged it out of you."

"Are we going to be alright?"

"Of course, Tabitha."

"Still friends?" She held out her hand and smiled. Still friends. Still nothing more than friends. That thought ran through her mind like a harsh whisper but she didn't let the smile on her face falter.

Remus took her hand and nodded. "Always." The two then apparated to Hogsmede.

Down the street, Lily and James were slowly walking hand-in-hand. "James, we are going to get there last at this pace."

"Spoken like a true headgirl. You always have to be on time."

"No, I just think you are lingering on purpose. What was it you and the boys were doing?"

"Are you always going to be this nosy?"

"Only if you decide to keep me around. Have I scared you into leaving yet?"

"Not yet, Evans."

"Hmm. Then I must not be trying hard enough." She smirked at him and he wrapped an arm around her. They made it to the base of the street and looked back.

"Galleon for your thoughts," James said as they looked at the busy shoppers.

"Everything is going to be different next time we are here," she responded solemnly.

"It is. But I'll still be here."

"You better be," She said giving him a playful tug.

"I mean it, Lily. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be fighting right by your side." Lily looked back to James with a grin and her eyes met his as he continued. "Besides, who says everything is about to change for the worst?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see." With that, he took her hand and they apparated to Hogsmede where they would have the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix.