Author's Notes - This becomes AU from the Season 2-episode Secrets but there are spoilers for other episodes from season one to season four.
Hope you enjoy.
The heat that hit Daniel when he stepped out of the air-conditioned building was comforting after everything that had happened. It reminded him of happier times, of the parents he'd lost at a young age, and the family he'd found on the planet where he'd just buried the love of his life, along with her child.
He'd spent a week with the family she'd given him, in the home they had lived together for a year. One glorious year where he'd been blissfully happy, with the woman who had opened her heart to him, who loved him without question and had given him the family he always wanted.
Now it was all gone.
Sha're was dead, as was the hope he'd had that he'd get his happy life back.
So, he did what he did best, he walked away.
Using the few connections that he had left, Daniel Jackson returned to Egypt and found a dig where no one cared about his reputation. Back to his roots, back to what he knew, back to being alone because he couldn't lose anyone else.
Shifting his bag onto his shoulder, Daniel walked towards the bus that would take him to the dig.
Two Years Later
Jack let out a sigh of relief as he stepped out the Stargate and onto the ramp, it had been a long few days of sheer boredom. Carter had some fun playing with some tech while he and Teal'c guarded their camp against the odd rabbit-like creature that was native to the planet. There was no fourth member, they'd never replaced Daniel permanently. Every so often a member of what had been his department joined if the mission required it, but they preferred just to be the three of them.
"Welcome back, SG1," Hammond stated, "Report to the infirmary. Mission briefing at seventeen hundred hours."
Nodding Jack left the Gateroom and walked behind the other two members of his team to the infirmary where Fraiser was waiting for them.
Jack took a seat on the bed closest to the wall, closing his eyes in relief as he leaned against the wall closing his eyes for a moment.
"Colonel," the doctor said as she joined him, "You know the routine."
He gave a slight chuckle, holding out his arm for the blood test.
"Cassie received a gift in the mail this morning for her birthday," Janet said softly as she took his blood.
"From Egypt by any chance?" Jack asked.
She nodded.
Silence fell between them while Janet went through the rest of the post-mission medical checklist
"I wish he'd call," Janet said suddenly, "Just once so we know he's alright."
Jack squeezed her hand, "He's still sending Cassie presents. That's his way of letting us know."
She nodded, "I'd better get the rest of your medical done so you can get to your debriefing."
"Janet," Jack called as she moved to call the MRI technician, "I know where he is, and I know he's okay. I have a friend in the area who sends me updates every so often."
She chuckled, "I should have known. You'd never leave him alone."
"Daniel needs space after losing Sha're and the baby," Jack sighed, "This is what he has to do right now, but he'll come back one day. I'm sure of it."
x
Jack got through the meeting quickly before he left the mountain. He had to pick up Cassie's birthday present from home before heading to Fraiser's for the party.
Sitting in the car just outside, he looked in the window watching the fourteen-year-old girl they'd rescued as she brushed her hair, getting ready for her party. He was so proud how well she'd adapted to her new life, and loved seeing her relaxed in a world she didn't know until three years ago.
Taking a breath, he put on a big grin for his adopted daughter/niece, and with the present under his arm knocked on the door.
"Jack!" Cassie moved to hug him hello, she'd grown so much since the day they'd found her.
"Happy Birthday, kiddo," Jack hugged her and kissed her cheek.
He handed her the present he'd brought and watched her put it on the table, as per the Fraiser birthday tradition spotting the parcel wrapped in plain brown paper sitting there.
"It came this morning," Cassie said as she turned back to Jack, "He always sends me a birthday and Christmas present. But I'd rather he come home."
Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Jack hugged Cassie to him, "I know, but right now this is what he needs. He'll come home one day, we're his family."
"It's been two years," Cassie reminded him.
Jack nodded, "Grief has its own timetable, Cass. Losing Sha're, it tore him apart and he's still trying to put himself together. He hasn't forgotten us, you can see that," he nodded to the present on the table.
"Why haven't you gone after him?"
"I will," Jack said, "When the time is right."
x
Sam smiled as Jack made a toast for Cassie's birthday, she could see he was being as cheerful as possible for them as they tried to ignore the hole in the room where Daniel should be. They all missed the archaeologist, but Jack and Daniel had a special bond. They were family and had a way of bouncing off one another, which on occasion could drive everyone else crazy, but it worked for them.
When Sha're had died, Jack stayed at Daniel's side almost constantly from the moment they reached Abydos till after the funeral.
No one had expected Daniel to disappear the moment he returned from the week of mourning on his adopted home planet. But he didn't show up at the mountain the day he was due back at work, his resignation was found sitting on his office desk, and the important personal journals along with Sha're's photograph were gone.
They didn't talk about him much; she knew Jack kept tabs on Daniel from afar, but he wouldn't tell them anything other than he was fine.
She was brought back to the room as Cassie began to open her presents. The teenager gave a happy cry at the new camera she received, the albums that she had wanted, and the painting supplies. As always Daniel's present was left till last, Cassie let out a soft gasp when she unwrapped the glass sculpture of flowers in a vase. She loved handmade ornaments and, as always, Daniel found the perfect thing for her.
"That's gorgeous," Janet stated, "The colour in the petals is phenomenal. I wonder where…" she stopped and smiled, "Well, how about we have cake."
As everyone moved into the kitchen, Sam looked at the gift. Daniel had an eye for these things, always had and she had a statue he'd had given her in her lab.
"Carter," Jack called, "Cake, come on."
With a sigh, she joined the others to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Cassie.
"Doctor Jackson."
The call from outside the chamber made Daniel turn from the section of wall he was clearing sand from.
"Your ride is here," Mike the intern told him before heading back to work.
Surprised at the time, Daniel quickly put away his tools ensuring everything was left neat for the next day before he headed out towards the camp.
"Ahmed," he greeted the man sitting in the jeep, "I'll be a few minutes."
An amused chuckle came before Ahmed replied, "I ensure that there is always extra time whenever I come to pick you up."
Rolling his eyes, Daniel headed to his tent and put his tools on top of the table before he grabbed his bag, heading out to the jeep and climbing into the passenger seat.
While Ahmed drove, Daniel stared out the window. He hoped Cassie's gift had arrived on her birthday, but he had sent it with plenty of time so assumed it would.
When they reached their destination, Daniel jumped out and went inside to change before heading into the gym.
He'd come to enjoy working out when he was in the SGC, training so he could go on missions and found that it helped him not focus on the nightmare his life had become. It gave him a way to not dwell on losing Sha're for a few minutes, just a few minutes of relief from the pain he carried with him each day, because he'd failed her.
Ahmed owned the gym and was happy to let Daniel work out whenever he needed to, helping Daniel keep up with his hand-to-hand training as well as letting him use the machines and weights for as long as needed.
It helped him sleep. Tiring himself out through exercise and training was the one way that let him rest without the nightmares, without the dreams that made him jerk awake in the middle of the night with his wife's name on his lips.
Tonight, he'd decided to simply run, just run like he'd done when he was student and didn't have much to eat to quell the hunger pangs. Only now he was running away from the ghosts that wouldn't leave him alone.
x
Daniel woke to the sound of a vehicle entering the camp and confused voices. Pushing his hand through his hair, Daniel dressed quickly before he stepped out his tent and froze at the people climbing out of the jeep.
"Oh no," he sighed, seeing his past appear before his eyes.
"Daniel?!"
The surprised cry from the blonde woman he'd never expected to see again made the man standing at her side turn and wince.
"Hi, Sarah, Steven," he greeted softly, "What are you doing here?"
Dr Sarah Gardner and Dr Steven Rayner, his former colleagues, former friends and people he hadn't seen since before his lecture that took him to the Stargate stared at him.
Steven shrugged, "I know you've been out of the loop for a while, but this is what we do."
Daniel rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean. I'm in charge of the dig and no one told me anyone else would be joining us."
"It's not official," Sarah said, "I'm guessing you haven't heard, but David passed away a few weeks ago. We're here to spread his ashes, in the place he loved. Since this is an official dig site then we were able to get permits to come."
Daniel felt his throat dry, and he forced out, "What happened?"
"A gas explosion," Steven told him, "I thought you'd come to the funeral."
"I've been here for a while," Daniel replied, "I don't get much news." He took a breath, "What's your plan?"
"Well," Sarah said, "You know David loved watching the sunrise during a dig, we thought that would be the best time to scatter his ashes and let him become one with it."
Daniel nodded, "That sounds…appropriate." He licked his lips and asked, "Can I join you?"
Sarah and Steven glanced at one another before Sarah nodded, "Of course. He always talked about you, wondered where you went. He'd be happy to know you're with us for this."
"Mike," Daniel motioned over to the intern, "Will give you a place to stay. I have to get to work."
Heading back into the solitude of his tent, Daniel allowed a tear to fall from his eye as another funeral was in his future.
x
"Hey," Sarah's voice from behind him made Daniel look up from the reports he was reading and turn to the entrance of his tent about an hour later.
"Hi," he replied, "Did you get assigned a place to stay?"
She nodded, "I didn't expect things to be so civilised considering our last conversation."
"It's been several years, and a lot has happened since then," Daniel shrugged, "There's no point hanging on to past arguments." He gave a slight smile, "It's nice to see you, Sarah."
She smiled, "You too." She pulled a seat over and sat across from him, "Have you been here all this time?"
Daniel hesitated before replying, "No, I was recruited by the Air Force for a time as a translator. I left about two years ago and took over the dig."
"Working with the Air Force," Sarah cried before chuckling, "I can't imagine you doing that."
"Why?"
"Because they'd expect you to follow orders," she laughed, "And no one marched to the beat of their own drum more than you."
Daniel shrugged, "It was a point of contention more than once, which is one of the reasons I'm now here."
"Well, I should let you get back to work," Sarah told him, "See you for dinner?"
He shook his head, "I can't. I have an appointment tonight, but I'll check in with you both for what time tomorrow."
She caught his hand and squeezed it before leaving the tent.
x
Daniel punched the bag hard, needing to hit something. Learning his former mentor was dead, while having to deal with Sarah and Steven was too much for him. He could deal with working with everyone in the dig because he was in charge, they weren't friends and didn't expect him to be anything other than their boss.
The divide was there.
But Sarah and Steven were different, and they would try to get past the wall, Sarah especially.
Leaning against the punching bag, Daniel closed his eyes. He missed Sha're. He missed how she could speak to the heart of any problems he was having. Missed talking to her about anything and everything, missed hearing her laugh.
Mostly, he just missed being wrapped in her arms because there his mind would calm simply because she loved him.
"Do you want to stick with the bag," Ahmed's voice pulled him back to the gym, "Or maybe have someone who will try to hit back?"
Daniel sighed, "I might actually hit harder than I intend to." At Ahmed's look he explained, "Some old…I suppose they could be called friends have come to the dig. It's just…"
Ahmed simply nodded, "Well, I will take the risk."
The rest of the evening Daniel sparred with Ahmed, his parent's old friend who was the only reason he was making it through the days, by giving him a safe space to come when it got too much for him.
Finally, it was time to return to the camp. Daniel thanked Ahmed, now all he had to do was talk to Sarah and Steven about tomorrow morning then he could get some sleep.