A dream.
I'm in orbit around Earth, floating aimlessly around the planet's circumference as the vast sea of stars beckons to me. The urge hits to leave the safety of my lazy circles and head for one of the beacons of light off in the distance. Proxima Centauri, Betelgeuse, Polaris, it all looks appealing from so far away. But despite this urge, there's little I can do. I'm stuck in orbit, drifting in my fixed cycle.
Try as I might, pulling away from the grip my planet's gravity has on me with all my strength, the vacuum of space keeps me motionless. Even as I desperately flap my arms towards freedom, every slight micro-movement is a great struggle.
I wonder to myself, in this fleeting moment, if the effort is worth it. Even if I wiggle my way out of orbit somehow, those stars are all unimaginably far away. My predicament being the way it is, there is no possible way that I could ever hope to get to even the moon, much less to another star entirely. With the universe so vast, does any effort I make truly get me anywhere?
Resigning to my fate, I stop my futile effort and catch my breath. I close my eyes, inhale, exhale, and attempt to get over my tiny qualms with reality.
A blue fog rolls in as I do, obscuring my vision as I open my eyes once again. The stars all fade, and I struggle to see more than a few feet ahead of me. The Earth is gone from my view.
Under me, water begins to pool. It begins with a puddle, but starts to flow more and more quickly as the seconds go by. The water surrounds my feet, then my ankles, then my knees. My groin, to my stomach, to my chest. I think to myself that perhaps it is too late for me now. That I will ultimately be forgotten to the annals of history, with a cold and unforgiving universe giving its long, final embrace. Living and dying, never having achieved happiness.
As the water reaches my neck, I realize that the fluid is not even water at all.
It's simply the universe, reclaiming its prize.
As the empty space gets to my face, I suffocate, freeze, burn, expand, and die.
…
Awake.
Despite being conscious, it takes me a moment to open my eyes. The first thing I notice is the splitting migraine, followed by heavy aches and pains across my whole body. I groan to myself, and roll over onto my stomach. I bury my head in my arms as more sleep doesn't sound awfully bad.
My mind feels like a hazy labyrinth, and I find it difficult to recall much of anything. It's a confusing situation, as with minutes upon minutes of my body lying limp on the ground passing by the strange grogginess fails to cease.
Realizing that lying on the floor isn't doing me any good, I reluctantly open my eyes.
The ground below me looks as if it's been meticulously carved with marble and gold, gleaning brightly with whatever light sneaks in between my elbows. As I begin to stumble my way into a standing position, I find that the walls form giant pillars reaching to the heavens. I struggle to find the top of them, but what I do see are massive murals lining every inch of the ceiling and wall. Some murals showcase celebrations of some sort, others display worship, and many more show off captivating captures of battles and wars. It's unlike anything I've ever…
Wait, what have I seen before…?
I try and remember a place I've been to before, but despite the fog leaving my brain what lies there to replace it, or perhaps the lack thereof, shocks me to my core.
Where did I come from? What am I here to do? How did I end up here?
…Who am I?
Upon this internal question, my breathing begins to quicken as I start to hyperventilate and grow light-headed. My legs and feet begin to fail me as I stagger and struggle to stay standing, ultimately needing to lean on a wall for support.
I don't remember my name. I don't remember my name. I don't remember my name.
I shove my hands into any pocket that my seemingly ripped-up clothes will provide, scrambling to find any kind of identifying document. Any possible sign of who I am, who I was. Something. Anything. I need to find it. I need to know my name. I need to remember.
Suddenly, I feel a slight brushing sensation against my finger as it searches through my left front pocket.
Yes!
Without a second thought, I pull out the mysterious object and find a small slip of paper, partially crumpled at the corners. With bated breath, I unfold it slowly and cautiously, ensuring that I don't rip it by accident.
After a stressful few seconds, I unfold the last chunk of the paper to unveil the message left for me.
If you are reading this, I have already passed away. After you told me on that
night what that other version of me had done to my friends, I wanted to ensure that no
more harm would come from the negligence I've given toward my own emotions.
Regardless of which version of me did it, I still feel as if I have much to own up to.
I hope that you, Natsuki and Yuri can live on in spite of what's happened today.
I also want to thank you for the night we spent together. Knowing about the
simulation I lived within and being unable to stop it, I fell into a lonesome kind of
sadness. In her spite, I suspect that Tsunami set up my circumstances to ensure that
I would feel as helpless as possible. I am happy to be able to have some sense of agency
in my final moments, and feel happy knowing how it ended. That said, I am left
wishing that we had been able to spend more time together. I know I can't make you
stay, and I wish I could change this. I miss you.
Finally, please do not deny yourself of the person you want to be. You have
been through enough to give yourself that much respect, at least. If you survive to
read this, please don't hold any of what happened against yourself. The prosaic
imperfections that make you up are gorgeous in their whole. I hope we can meet
again someday, Serena.
With love,
Monika
In the end, I think I was left with more questions than answers.
I can figure all of that out later, though. At least I'm able to remember my name now.
Or… Am I able to?
"Serena… Monika…" This letter is from Monika, but it says that she must be dead… That said, could it be possible that this is the afterlife? To make things even more confusing, there are even more names mentioned here.
I sigh. Figures that it wouldn't be that easy… At the very least, though, I can narrow the list down to two. At any rate, the next step is to figure out where the hell I actually am. If I can figure out whether I'm alive or dead, that should be enough to remember my name.
Without another thought crossing my mind, I begin to walk down the massive hallway. As I stroll, I begin to absentmindedly examine my torn-up clothing in finer detail. I wear a light sweater and jeans, seemingly having prepared for chilly-but-not-too-chilly weather. What's brought most clearly to my attention, though, are the strange cut marks that nearly mince the outfit apart. One horizontal slash a bit above the waist, then another that runs from my shoulder to my opposite thigh. Lifting my chopped-up sweater to examine further, I notice long scars following the exact same pattern that have seemingly all but healed.
They're healed!? Why would I be wearing this if these injuries didn't happen recently?
I pat at the scarring, surprised that I feel no pain at all. Modern technology is great and all, but it can't heal a cut like this anywhere near this quick… How long have I been out for?
My train of thought comes to a screeching halt as I begin to notice a distant wall at the end of the hallway. The place seemed as if it had been enveloped in a slight gilded mist of some sort that limited my visibility just barely enough so that I wouldn't be able to see more than 200 yards or so in front of me, but as I approach the end of the colossal room the back wall begins to appear more and more clearly.
The back of the hall is flanked by two long couches in the center, as well as multiple cushioned chairs that look as if they were not made to be sat on with the gemstones and golden coating that make it up.
Finally, though, a large desk appears at the very back of the room. It's unclear at first, but to my surprise I can vaguely make out a figure sitting behind it.
Instinctively, I freeze in my tracks. Trying to make as little noise as possible, I creep in the direction of the right wall and seek cover behind massive pillars and torches in an effort to identify the situation before this potential figure identifies me.
"I know you're over there, you know."
Chills run up my spine as an ice-cold voice shocks me to my core. Well, so much for that.
"Who are you? Where am I!?" I yell, likely louder than was needed. I try to hide it, but there's an obvious hint of panic in my voice.
"Please come to me here at the reception desk… I'll try and help you out as best as I can." It almost sounds as if her tone has softened slightly after having heard my voice.
I cautiously begin to walk forward, still hesitant to trust whoever this person might be. My anxiety only grows as the couches come into clear view, then the seats, then the desk, and finally…
The person who stands before me, against all odds, may be more strangely dressed than me in my butchered-up sweater. She wears a thick winter coat and thermal pants in spite of the assumedly climate-controlled room we're in, even going as far as to wear a scarf around her neck that beautifully contrasts with her silky white hair. Her piercing gray eyes greet me, against all odds, with a subtle smile.
As the person who called out to me comes into view, though, I notice that behind her is a massive building encased in even more pristine layers of gilded mineral. A massive church or temple building, tens of stories high, is encased in this golden catacomb of a place. Directly behind the reception desk, a massive gate hangs open.
"Nice morning, isn't it…?" Her voice, significantly more welcoming now that we find ourselves face to face, almost works to make me feel comfortable in spite of my predicament.
"How can you tell? The sky's kind of…" I look up at the ceiling instinctively, trying to find whatever it is she might be seeing up there. Instead, all I see are walls of murals up to infinity.
"I can't tell." The woman chuckles to herself for a moment, albeit keeping herself collected. "It just gives me peace of mind to try and keep track."
She turns around in her seat to grab a nearby pile of paperwork, sifting through it lazily before continuing. "So, what's your business in the Cathedral today? Your first time, I take it?"
The… Cathedral?
"Well, it's sort of funny…" I bring a hand to my chin as I struggle to put my situation into words. "I woke up here not too long ago, but strangely have zero clue how I got here or even who I am! I hate to say it, but I still couldn't even tell you my name…"
"Amnesia of some kind, then? You don't remember a thing?"
"Well, I still remember basic information like how the world works. I know that you should put an hour or two aside whenever you call your bank or insurance company because you'll always be on hold longer than you think you will, for example, and that there are free and easy ways to get your taxes done that big companies try to hide from you and yet are legally required to have available. That sort of thing."
"It's called semantic memory, just so you know…" The woman laughs. "So I take it you're from Earth too, then?"
"Too…?" I scratch at my head for a moment in confusion. "Where else would I be from?"
"Oh, jeez, you're super fresh meat." Still sorting through her paperwork, the woman looks back up to me. "So do no names come to mind at all? I might be able to find you in the system to help you figure out what you're doing here…"
"Based on a weird letter in my pocket, it seems like I'm either Serena or Monika." I try and search my memory banks for anything further than that to no avail. "No last name that I can remember, sorry."
"I see." The woman's eyes widen at the mention of the second name. "Mine's Blizzard, by the way."
"A bit on the nose, don't you think?" I snort slightly. "With the outfit and all?"
"If you end up spending enough time here, I'm sure you'll get used to it." Blizzard leans back in her office chair and quickly scans the remainder of her papers. "But, umm… Is that a Monika with a K, by any chance?"
Double-checking the letter for reference, I nod. She responds by shuffling through some more papers, before showing one of them to me. "Does this photo mean anything to you?"
The sheet of paper includes some text that I in respect for privacy choose not to read over, and a picture of a young woman with pale skin and long, light brown hair that frames her deep green eyes.
"Not really, though if it did I don't know that I'd remember." I chuckle to myself, at the expense of my dire situation. "As for if that person could be me, I was looking over my ripped-up clothes earlier and I'm pretty sure my skin is a bit darker than that, for one."
"That it is. You and that Monika don't have anything in common as far as appearance goes, so I'd wager that Serena is most likely the answer there. As for how you know her, I'll have to ask some of my colleagues who know more about that."
"I see…" I bring my hand to my chin. "Do you have anything on Serena?"
"From what I've seen in all of this paperwork, no." She flips through the pages absentmindedly as her silver eyes lock onto mine. "Which is very strange, since people aren't supposed to just… show up here."
"This all just keeps getting stranger and stranger…" Still a bit light-headed, the stress from my situation causes me to stumble slightly. "So what now?"
"If you're here, you almost certainly have some reason that we just don't know of yet. As such, I'll have to call a meeting with the rest of the Consulate to figure this mystery out." Blizzard crosses her arms. "I'll have to ask that you come along as well."
"Consulate…?"
"Damn, how do I explain this…" The woman tips her head back and looks at the ceiling as she thinks. "The Consulate is an organization of five individuals that claim ownership over our reality. Though…" Leaning back down towards me, her eyes suddenly look slightly more somber.
Not sure what to do, I take a slow step in her direction. "Are you… okay?"
"I'll be fine… I'll tell you later." Blizzard shakes her head, her straight hair ruffling in the air for a moment. "Anyways, if you couldn't already tell, I'm a part of the Consulate myself… though I've been here for much less time than the rest of them."
I'm still a bit confused, but am able to understand the basic idea. "And this place is where you all meet?"
Blizzard nods. "The Cathedral is the Consulate's base of operations, yeah. That's why it's so weird that you'd be here, because the only people who come here are those who for one reason or another have business with us."
"Gotcha."
"You've been taking this really well, come to think of it," Blizzard says while leaning slightly onto her desk, "For most people from our world, learning about all of this would be pretty shocking. I know it was when I was told about all of this…"
"I couldn't tell you, at least without my memories." I shrug. "Probably has something to do with that, if I'm being honest."
"Even now that I'm a Consul, I've never met anyone who has straight-up lost their memory like you have… You really don't remember a single thing about yourself?" Blizzard asks the question with a sense of well-meaning curiosity.
"This is all still new to me, so even I'm not entirely sure what I do or don't remember. Maybe if you brought something up, it would help?"
"Brought something up, like, asked you a question?" Blizzard curls a finger around her scarf. "I can do that."
"Yeah, I think that might help."
"All right…" All of a sudden, the woman looks around the room. "The rest of the Consuls won't be back until this afternoon, at the soonest. How about we go over to my place while we wait? I can answer some more of your questions there as well."
"To… your place?" I tip my head to the side slightly.
"I assume you don't have anywhere else to go, right? I live in the Cathedral unlike the rest of my colleagues, so you can crash at mine until we figure out what to do with you."
I think to myself for a moment. She's right, even if I had somewhere to come home to it's not as if I'd remember how to get there. Blizzard has only been kind to me so far, so it's not as if I have any reason to turn her down.
Though some part of me doesn't want to trouble her, I brush those thoughts away. "You'd do that?"
"Of course! I've been enjoying this chat anyways, and would love to keep getting to know you." Looking back to me, Blizzard flashes a warm smile. "Now follow me."
The woman turns around and strolls through the massive double-door, and I hesitantly make my way around the perimeter of the reception deck and follow her through.
Behind the gate is a small room containing a narrow elevator. In spite of the glamor the rest of this place exemplifies, the room is dusty and crude. The elevator itself is little more than a narrow metal cage attached to a chain that stretches up endlessly, looking as if it could snap at any moment. On the other end, a dark shaft stretches down an untold amount. As we walk towards it, I notice that Blizzard's hand glows a slight pale blue.
As we squeeze into the elevator together, I notice that there are no buttons or manners of any kind to select a floor number. Just as I'm about to ask about this detail, though, Blizzard reaches towards a small, featureless tablet welded to one bar of the cage's side and motions as if inserting something into it. As she removes her hand, I notice an icy disc where there was nothing before. Seemingly recognizing the object, the door slides shut and the elevator slowly begins to drop.
The two of us stand in silence, arms brushing against one another as a result of the tight confines of the elevator. I have a hard time seeing anything as the golden light from below grows dimmer, replaced by the shade of the elevator shaft. My surroundings only continue to grow darker, until the only source of light is the faint glow of what looks to be a small device that I can't quite identify as she types away. I fidget with my hair, curling long strands around my finger as I wait for what feels like an eternity of nervous tedium.
Finally, though, the elevator creaks and screeches to a stop into the center of a room much like the one that we were just in. Instead of the shaft stretching down, though, it seems as if this is the bottom floor.
Blizzard opens the door and exits as I continue to follow her through the darkness. The room is lit by candles, barely bright enough for me to see the door that serves as the single exit from the room. Just as I do, Blizzard wraps her hand around the knob and twists it open.
The difference between the rest of the Cathedral and this room is night-and-day. As I enter, the first thing I notice is a window that opens up to a sky of bright blue. Between the tiled floor, sofa setup and kitchenette, if it hadn't been for the way we entered it I would have thought this was a completely normal apartment on Earth.
Not to mention that this view comes from having taken an elevator down… Where on earth are we?
"You must be confused, right? I'm realizing that all of this might be a lot." Turning her head back around towards me, Blizzard plops down onto the sofa. "Come sit. And take your shoes off by the door, please."
Following her instructions, I slip off sneakers that I hadn't even fully parsed I had on and follow her to the couch. Hesitantly sitting down on the sofa opposite to her, I orient my body to listen as she opens her mouth to speak.
"This room, like the rest of the Cathedral, doesn't follow the traditional rules of space. It's hard to really wrap your head around, but different floors and areas of this building don't really have a location relative to one another." Blizzard talks with a slight lack of confidence. "Does that make sense?"
"It does, yeah." I nod, before an awkward silence falls between the two of us. I notice Blizzard fidgeting a bit while sneaking a glance at me, before she eventually speaks once again.
"So…" As my gaze turns towards her, she averts hers away. "You said you had a letter that you drew those two names from?"
"Yeah… Come to think of it, it would probably help if you gave it a look." I pull the crumpled piece of paper back out of my pocket and hand it to her. She takes a moment to read through the page, eyes widening at some sentences more than others. Her brows furrow and she squints, clearly not enthused at the information for one reason or another.
This goes on for a while, before she briefly flips the paper to its side and hands it back to me. While taking it back, I look to her with anxious anticipation. "So…?"
"Well, the good news is that I figured out your name for certain." Blizzard scooches closer towards me on the couch and points at a line on the paper. "If you remember the Monika I showed you earlier, she happens to have a relation to these specific names that she mentioned: Natsuki and Yuri."
"So what you're saying is that I can't be Monika, because we know who the Monika who wrote the letter is?"
"Exactly." Blizzard nods matter-of-factly. "And based on what I know about this Monika in particular, it's very unlikely that this note could have fallen into the wrong hands. All of this is to say that we can conclude…"
"...That my name is Serena."
I chuckle to myself a bit, a sense of fulfillment washing over me with the knowledge of my name that I have now.
"On that note, it is good that you wanted me to ask you questions…" Blizzard's gaze sharpens slightly. "...Because this Monika that you clearly had some sort of a relation to shares a striking resemblance to one of the current enemies of the Consulate."
"Enemies?"
"I'm not at liberty to tell you much just yet, but if you look at the second sentence of the letter she mentions another version of herself." She once again points to the line she's referring to, causing me to reread it in confusion.
"Another version…? But how can there be two different versions of the same person?"
"If you have this letter, the reason is the exact same place you likely came from before somehow making your way here," Blizzard says assertively, "Serena, do you have any memory of a game called Doki Doki Literature Club?"
"A game? Like, a video game?" I tip my head to the side slightly. "No, I don't know of it. Or at least I don't remember."
Blizzard pulls a small black cell phone out of her pocket, bringing the device close to her face and typing into the tiny keypad. After about a minute she points the screen at me, but the screen isn't the first thing I notice.
"Is that…" I point to the logo above the screen. "...a Blackberry?"
"I-" Blizzard looks as if she's about to retort, but instead chuckles to herself. "Anyways, if you'll look at the screen now, you'll see the game I was talking about. Does anyone look familiar?"
The tiny phone screen displays artwork of four young girls, all wearing what look like school uniforms. Nothing looks awfully out of the ordinary, except…
"The girl in the front… Right? She looks like the person in the photo you showed me earlier."
"Exactly. This is Monika. And for that matter, two of the other girls in the picture are named Natsuki and Yuri."
Still confused, questions persist in my mind. "But this is a video game, how could one of these characters have sent me this letter? And for that matter, how could there be two of them?"
"Calling them the exact characters as if they jumped right out of the video game is a bit of an overstatement." Blizzard pulls the phone back. "They're more like artificial beings made from a simulation modeled after that video game."
"A simulation-" It takes me a few moments to fully parse the words that just came out of her mouth. "Are you messing with me right now!?"
"Wish I was." Blizzard sighs before continuing her explanation. "On top of that, these AI beings became Fartime somehow… Nothing that goes on in that sim ever makes sense."
"Fartime? What?" My head is spinning at this point.
"I should have led with that, sorry. The fartime are, put as simply as they can be put, a class of lifeform whose being exists outside of the rest of reality." That's not simple at all… "If something were to happen that disturbed the natural flow of time, their being would remain intact."
"Sorry… I hate to ask, but can you put that in simpler words for me?"
"No, that's my bad…" Blizzard seems to think to herself for a second. "Here's an example. If, somehow, the flow of time were to reverse to some point in the past, what do you think would happen to the average person?"
"Like a time-loop? Well…" Thinking hard, only one conclusion can be reached. "In most of those stories, everyone except for the person trapped in the loop usually forgets everything that happened during that reversed time, right? They just return to how they were at the time. "
"Right. So think of a fartime as the one person who is able to remember."
"That kind of thing really exists in real life?" Despite my new understanding, the number of questions I have only continues to rise.
"It does. But, here's another question: what do you think would happen if a newborn child, brought into existence within that window of reversed time, were fartime? Would they return to not yet being, or would something else happen to them?"
"I…" My tired brain cannot find an answer. "I don't know."
"As it turns out, that newborn would remain as it is. As long as nothing prevents their birth, though, that child would also still be born. There would be two versions of the same newborn child, with odds being that only the original is fartime." Blizzard smiles slightly as she tells her answer. "It's exceptionally uncommon given how rare the fartime are, but possible all the same."
"That feels… counterintuitive." I sigh. "But I assume this is how there can be two of all those AI characters?"
"That's right. The original fartime AI remained after time looped back to before their simulation was turned on, so an extra version of each came into existence. That's how we can have two different Monikas, for instance."
"But why would that still apply to them? They're computer programs, aren't they? It's not as if they could ever leave their simulation anyways."
Blizzard sighs. "You would think, but no. Somehow, people in those simulations can just leave, law of conservation of mass be damned."
"Wait, what? But how is that even possible!?" I stammer slightly as I speak. "So they can come out of the simulation and exist in the real world?"
She turns to look at me. "Based on the letter you showed me, it's even possible that you came out of the simulation as well."
"Wait, you're saying that I'm a computer program or something?" I look down at my body, as if it would reveal anything at all to me. "Am I one of the characters in that video game?"
"Nope, and that's exactly what's so confusing about you being here. I wasn't too heavily involved in the project that created that simulation, though, so we'll need to wait for some of my other colleagues to show up to get a full idea on where you came from." Suddenly, Blizzard's eyes take on a similarly sad expression to the one she made while we were still at the reception desk. "Though, even then…"
I stay silent, careful not to make direct eye-contact.
"The reason the simulation was created in the first place was because of a plan called the Earth Reconstruction Project. The idea was, essentially, to transfer all of human consciousness into this computer simulation and implant their human brains with artificial intelligences to use their bodies for energy production and-"
"Sorry to cut you off…" My voice is slightly shaky as I fear the worst for my world. "But what the hell?! Are you serious? They didn't succeed, did they?"
"Not even close. The plan strayed so far off-course and was such a spectacular failure that the Consul who ran it was killed. Their successor took up the project…" Blizzard pauses for a moment, and looks down into a corner of the room. "...And eventually suffered the same fate."
Slightly uncomfortable by the sudden dark tone of the conversation, I clear my throat. "The Consulate has a whole lot of enemies, seems like…"
"The greatest enemies of the fartime, at the end of the day, are other fartime. Once you add eternal life to the mix, grudges and misunderstandings only grow until we're at one another's throats." Blizzard leans forward. "That said, there are some among us that deserve the reprehensible reputation that they've spent thousands of years building."
"All of this stuff about the fartime…" Struggling to wrap my head around everything that she's telling me, I bounce my knee slightly in my seat. "Wait, can I ask a question about the whole Earth Reconstruction thing?"
Perking her brows up slightly, Blizzard replies. "Sure, of course."
"If the Consulate has the ability to do everything you said they could do, why not just…" I shrug. "Enslave humanity normally?"
"Huh?"
"I mean… If you're already evil enough to go through all that work, why bother putting peoples' consciousnesses into a computer? Based on what you said about the Consulate being all-powerful gods and all that, I doubt there's really any chance at rebellion."
"I'm…" Blizzard purses her lips slightly, and keeps quiet for a moment. "I'm not entirely sure. All I heard at the time was that there were a few developments on Earth that conflicted with the interests of the Consulate as it stood. Maybe the project was a way to prevent those things from being able to happen. There is a Consul who can glimpse into the future, after all…"
I twiddle my thumbs momentarily as an awkward silence falls between us.
"...Anyways." Blizzard bounces her right knee as she sits. "In order to prevent the plan from being found out by humanity in its early stages, one of the Consuls suggested for the simulation to be modeled around a popular video game to ensure that anyone who found out about the project wouldn't be believed. As such, the first artificial intelligences made by the simulation were created."
"But something went wrong, right? Those AIs became fartime?"
"That's a very good question… I suppose now is the time to let you know that the simulation I keep talking about wasn't any normal computer program." Blizzard stands up, and begins walking to some other room in the apartment. She raises her voice to continue speaking to me. "Something so spacious, immersive and sophisticated… even the world's most advanced supercomputers couldn't hope to run a tiny sliver of it."
I hear the faint sound of papers shuffling, and soon enough Blizzard returns to the room with what looks like a sheet of printer paper in hand. She hands it to me, urging me to read its contents.
The paper is filled with thick, distorted strips of colored ink and harsh slashes that burn across the page. It's clearly the result of more than just a printing error, as even beyond the regular print margins the page is speckled with colorful splotches of cyan, magenta and yellow. On the page, I can make out a few words at the top of the page where the blemishes are fewest.
Tyler Strauss
01,03,2018,8.88888887e8,1534: Second subject to be inserted into Earth
Reconstruction Project. Consciousness will be placed into school extra
N2762 by PB0000000001. Updates to this file should be provided as
necessary.
01,03,2018,8.88888887e8,1546:
The rest of the sheet is unreadable, but I can scarcely make out the face of a blond-haired man with ample facial hair who looks like he's in his mid-twenties. A sharp smudge of ink obscures his eyes.
"I don't understand… Who is this? Why are you showing this to me?"
"After the Earth Reconstruction Project failed, time somehow reverted to the beginning of the project. Everyone who was in the sim was returned to the real world, including the fartime AI." Blizzard "Since the Cathedral lies outside the traditional flow of time, we would not have noticed this until later under regular circumstances. Unless…"
"Unless…?"
"We were printing some files for safekeeping in the Cathedral at the time. Though the specific document I'm talking about isn't here, the one I just showed you is a good enough substitute." Blizzard's gaze alternates between my eyes and the paper in my hands. "The time-loop happened while these documents were printing, and because of that the print was now pulling from digital files that had never been written to begin with. It was still able to print, but every subsequent document came out… like this."
"Do you know what's causing the time-loops? Or, come to think of it, is that something you can tell me? Not sure if that's, like, top-secret Consulate stuff."
"I'm not sure if I can, at least at the moment…" Blizzard pauses momentarily, flipping her phone open to seemingly check for something. "Though maybe that'll change when the rest of my coworkers actually bother to turn up."
I shift slightly in my seat. "What's the rest of the Consulate like? Not sure what I should be prepared for."
"They're all pretty no-nonsense, but you're probably best off keeping your mouth shut until they address you directly. I still keep my guard up talking to them myself…" Blizzard says, matter-of-factly. "With the exception of Riptide, I guess, but he's a whole other can of worms. Point is, they're all dangerous. You'll need to be uber careful."
"That serious, huh? In that case, I'm glad I ran into you…" I breathe a sigh of relief, trying not to dwell on whatever twisted alternate scenario my brain decides to come up with. "Anyways, is it all right If I ask about something unrelated? I meant to ask before, but we got sidetracked."
"Of course! Knowing the others, we've got plenty of time." Blizzard chuckles to herself slightly, turning to face me fully.
"I'm not sure of quite the right way to ask this, but…" I think for a moment, before continuing my inquiry. "You said you were from Earth, right? This might be a weird thing to ask, but is there anything you can… intuit about me, based on the way I look or sound? I haven't had the chance to look at a mirror since I lost my memory."
Blizzard's gray eyes seem to ever-so-slightly light up as I ask my question. "Of course! I have a mirror in the bathroom, if you want to follow me over there. And at that rate, it would probably be good to get you changed for the meeting with the rest of the Consulate tonight."
"Changed? Do you…? Ah, right." Suddenly remembering the current state of my clothing, I retract my question. "Probably isn't polite to come to a meeting of the most powerful people in the multiverse in a ripped-up sweater and skinny jeans, huh."
"Nope! And just so you know, you're free to use my shower as well. Not that you stink or anything, but then again I have no clue where you've been."
"That makes two of us…"
We both stand up from the couch, with me needing to stretch my legs out slightly after having spent a while in one position. Blizzard begins walking back towards the sole hallway of the apartment, with me cautiously following in unison.
I haven't given it too much thought, but I do wonder what I look like… Will I look younger? Older? Mature, or less experienced? Educated? Beautiful? Old scars, or new wounds? Some sort of hint, hidden on my body? A treasure map to be followed, perhaps? An X that marks the spot where I'll find all of the answers I've been looking for?
I just hope that I learn something about my past from it, if nothing else.
Anything…
"In here!"
After what feels like ages, Blizzard turns a corner into a room to the right, opening the door with a gentle creak.
Some part of me knows that after turning this corner there is no going back. When I enter the room, an infinite universe of possibilities will condense into one. The superposition of all of human experience will reveal one life, already partially lived. A corpse, with new life brought into the same vessel. Some part of me is not ready to find out where my reality truly lies.
With a slight hesitation, I step into the darkness.