Hi! One more chapter after this and Sean's arc will begin. For now, enjoy this next one. And my timing couldn't be better as this roughly coincides with Valentine's Day.
Read and review!
Chapter Fifty
The Matchmaker
Beverly Hills Mall-11:42 PM
The mall had closed several hours ago and there was not a single soul to be seen in the vast, empty halls of this wildly popular shopping center. save a janitor, who was currently mopping the floor. This janitor, however, was so preoccupied by his task that he failed to see two robotic arms descend from the ceiling and rip up the coffee vending machine from the floor behind him, the noise obscured by his headphones blasting rock music into his ears. The arms took the vending machine out of the skylight and moments later, a pink, egg-shaped booth was firmly welded into the floor.
The janitor was sure he heard something and turned around to see the booth. "Arrow through the Heart Dating Service," the sign read. Normally, someone would have reported this, but this janitor was new to the job. In fact, this was his first night. He assumed that this booth had always been there, when it in fact had been a recent addition.
Unperturbed, he turned away and resumed his duty.
Beverly Hills High School-9:42 AM
Sam and Alex groaned as they faced the bulletin board by the school's entrance. Both girls were looking forward to the dance it advertised but also dreaded it.
"I can't believe the Valentine's Day Sweetheart Dance is already this Friday!" Alex exclaimed in frustration.
"That means we have less than a week to find the loves of our lives!" Sam added. Alex calmed down and put a hand on her friend's shoulder.
"Have faith. Nature will take its course and we'll both have dates for the dance."
Sam looked at the bulletin board, first scowling then smiling longingly.
"I don't want just any old date," she said. "This year, I want roses and poetry and romance!"
She said the last three things in a very longing voice.
"Yeah," Alex said dreamily. "Oh, oh, and a pink teddy bear with heart-shaped eyes!"
She stopped fantasizing. "Clover's so lucky."
"Tell me about it," Sam agreed. "She's already found the love of her life... Chris!"
She was referring, of course, to a handsome young man Clover had met in shop class just a few days before.
"Sam!" a frantic male voice called out from the door. "Alex!"
They turned to see Sean, who had just come in, panting. His face was one of absolute terror.
"Sean, what's wrong?" Sam asked.
"It's Clover!" he explained. "I just passed her and she looks ticked about something!"
"So?" the two girls asked.
"So," he went on. "Remember the last time Clover got really angry about something?"
Alex cringed. "Don't remind me. My mom almost had a cow over that lamp! And her favorite coffee mug. And that hole in the wall."
"What is it?" Sam inquired. "Did the mall run out of her favorite lipstick again?"
"I don't know!" Sean exclaimed. "All I know is, I don't want to be in the way when she feels like punching something!"
"THAT'S IT!" Clover's voice yelled from behind them.
She had barged in through the door, looking just as Sean had described her.
"I am done with boys! I am done with dates! I'm done with love."
She exhaled as she came up to her friends.
"That's it?" Sean asked, perplexed. "What about Chris? I mean, yesterday you kept going on and on about how he's your soulmate."
"Done!" Clover said emphatically. "You won't believe the stunt he pulled this time."
"Let me guess," Sam said. "He only called you eight times yesterday instead of his standard ten."
"Worse! For our three-day anniversary, he bought tickets to a monster truck rally!"
Sean, Sam and Alex looked at one another, not really seeing what the big deal was. Sure, Sean admitted, monster truck rallies weren't the first thing that came to his mind when he thought of romance, but still... Clover's reaction was a little extreme, even for her.
"Boys are so overrated! As of this moment, I'm officially off the market."
Her friends widened their eyes.
"You mean you're on a dating hiatus?" Sean asked, shocked. From the moment he first met Clover, she had been so boy-crazy that it seemed to be a part of her identity. She had even flirted with him before he turned her down and developed a brief crush on his rival at W.O.O.H.P, Tad of all people. Thankfully, she grew out of it when he tried to kill them.
"That's right!" she confirmed. "No more boys."
"Like that'll last through lunch," Alex said.
"Clover," Sam added. "You're overreacting. There are tons of great available guys everywhere!"
"Like those two?" Clover asked, pointing to Arnold and a friend of his, who were standing off to the side.
"Okay," Sean admitted. "Maybe not everywhere."
Against her wishes, Clover found herself being dragged to the mall by Sam and Alex. Sean had volunteered to come along, hoping that at some point he could catch Sam alone and ask her to be his date to the Valentine's Day Sweetheart Dance.
That is, Sean thought. If someone hasn't already asked her.
"By my calculations," Sam said as she and Alex pushed Clover forward. "The Beverly Hills Mall has the highest ratio of heartthrobs to honeys."
"You can count me out of your equation!" Clover said, complaining. "I am so not looking for a boy!"
"Come on!" Alex insisted, ignoring her friend. "Let's get a nonfat latte and make ourselves visible!"
Sean stopped and pointed ahead.
"Uh," he said. "You may want to hold off on the latte part," he said. "Look."
The girls followed his gaze to see an egg-shaped, high tech booth in place of their usual favorite coffee vending machine.
"Where's our favorite coffee cafe?" Sam asked.
"You too can find your truest love," an electronic feminine voice said from somewhere in the booth.
Sean knelt down and read the sign. "'Arrow through the Heart Dating Experience.' A computer matchmaking service?"
"How cyber-weird," Clover added, frowning in disapproval.
"Digital love?" Sam asked. "I don't buy it."
Thank goodness, Sean thought.
"I'm gonna try it," Alex said. "What do you think, Sam?"
Sean silently found himself wishing Sam would say no. His hopes, however, were dashed.
"I'm sure it's totally bogus," she said. "But it still might be fun!"
Sean scowled as Sam and Alex stepped into the booth.
"I'll be right here," Clover said stubbornly. "Staying strong, solidly single. Boys need not apply."
"And I think I'll just keep Clover company," Sean said. "I don't believe in matchmaking services."
The doors to the booth closed.
"And besides," Sean added once he was sure they couldn't hear him. "Some of us already have their perfect match in mind."
"Wouldn't work for you anyway," Clover explained, pointing to another sign on the booth. "This thing's for girls only."
"Huh," Sean commented. "That's weird."
"Not as weird as why you haven't asked Sam to the Valentine's Sweetheart Dance yet."
"Uh," Sean fumbled nervously. "What makes you think I haven't?"
Clover scoffed. "Would she try something as lame as this if you hadn't?"
Sean sighed. "Okay, I admit it. I haven't asked her. I was going to the minute Sam and I were alone!"
"Well, it's not too late," Clover said encouragingly. "I may be on hiatus, but that doesn't mean I can't try to pair up my favorite couple!"
"Sam and I aren't couple, Clover," Sean reminded.
"Not yet. And you'd better hurry before she comes out of that booth with a date that wins her over with roses and poetry and other useless stuff like that."
Sean's face lit up at the mention of the word "poetry."
"Clover, that's it!" he exclaimed, hugging her in gratitude, before running off.
"Where are you going?" Clover asked.
"Bookstore!" he called back. "Since Sam likes poetry so much, that's how I'll win her over!"
He continued his trek and Clover looked around in apprehension at the number of boys around her.
"Sean!" she called out. "Come back! You can't just leave me here with all these... boys!"
Alex and Sam took their places inside the booth, their backs facing each other and their attention fixed on a screen.
"Hello girls," a cool feminine voice said from the speakers. "Welcome to Arrow through the Heart. Please answer the following questions. Icing is to cake as blank is to love."
Sam and Alex each gave radically different answers.
"Smoochies," Alex replied.
"Intellectual honest and political courage," Sam said to her own screen.
Outside the booth, Clover impatiently tapped her foot for Sam and Alex to get out of the booth and for Sean to come back from the bookstore. She was especially disappointed with Sean running off as she had hoped to use him as a bodyguard to ward off the boys that were now walking up to her.
Who needs Sean? she thought. I can take care of myself.
"Hey," one boy said. "I'm Stan."
"Stan?" Clover asked, having a good idea where this was going.
"Stan-ding here hoping you'll go out with me," the boy returned, flashing a smile that Clover normally would not have been able to resist... if not for the fact that she was on a dating hiatus.
"As if!" she exclaimed, turning away.
"Hey, gorgeous," another boy said, coming up and holding a bouquet of roses. "They say beauty's only skin deep. Let's say you and I get shallow."
Growling in frustration, she threw him backwards, sending him colliding with a table.
"I am on a dating hiatus," she repeated to herself. "Dating hiatus. Dating hiatus."
"Hey!" a boy's voice said from behind her, causing her to snarl.
"I swear," she snapped, turning around. "If you say another cheesy pickup line-"
"Whoa!" Sean said. "Relax, Clover! It's me!"
He was holding a stack of poetry books ranging from Blake to Poe to T.S. Elliot.
"Finally!" Clover exclaimed. "A boy I'm happy to see!"
"Rough first day on hiatus?" Sean asked.
"Understatement of the year much? I'm used to beating boys off with a stick, but this is ridiculous!"
Sean looked behind Clover to see the boy she had sent crashing into the table, rose petals all around his limp form and he now had a nosebleed from where she punched him.
"Okay," he said awkwardly. "Why don't we just get out of here? You know, before security shows up?"
Clover nodded in agreement and began to follow him out of the mall. Sean's steps were a bit awkward due to the massive stack of books he now carried.
"Sheesh," Clover said. "What did you do, buy the whole poetry section?"
"I didn't know which one to get," Sean explained. "So I just bought every poetry book I could carry."
"Well, I'll say this much. Sam's getting a guy who's dedicated... if that stupid booth doesn't give her another guy first."
"You heard her yourself, Clover. She doesn't buy it!"
Back inside the booth, the computer had reached Alex and Sam's final questions.
"Which boy do you think is cuter? Boy A or Boy B?"
Two pictures showed up on the screen of two young men that instantly captured their attention.
"Boy A!" Alex responded.
"Definitely Boy B!" Sam said.
They were oblivious, of course, to the two cameras attached to the monitors. Nor were they aware of a mysterious figure on the other end, observing their faces, and typing in the data for the exact boys they wanted. Once his efforts were complete, he went over to a compartment in the wall and retrieved a small, spherical device.
Beverly Hills High School-2:00 PM
Sean couldn't wait for gym class to be over. Not that he hated it, in truth he was ambivalent towards it altogether. But he was desperate to try out his idea of reciting poetry to Sam, and to be honest, he couldn't exactly do it while climbing a rope.
"What's this?" Alex said from his right. He followed her gaze to see what she was talking about. An envelope floated in from the nearby open window, attached to a cluster of balloons. As she reached for it, she mistakenly let go of the rope and fell down to the mat below.
"It's from my Arrow through the Heart match!" she said excitedly. "I've been cordially invited to meet him at-" she cut off her sentence with a gasp. "Cool! The Rodeo Drive sports pavilion tonight! His name is... Chet! Isn't that sweet?"
She sighed longingly.
Sean climbed down from the rope, hoping he would have the chance to try out his idea before Sam heard from her match.
His hopes were soon dashed.
In chemistry class, as he looked over one of his books, this one containing the complete works of William Blake, Alex was still in a trance due to the letter she received, Clover was annoyed by the fact that someone left a rose in a beaker she was working with and Sam was busy with her assignment for class. Suddenly, a bouquet of red roses flew in from the window to their left, right in front of Sam.
"I think I got a match!" Sam said happily as she took the note attached to the bouquet and began to read it. "'Dearest Sam, Arrow through the Heart hath made a determination and thus I await with great anticipation our date tonight at the Pomme de Terre! We'll dine at 7:00, my lovely lady fair!'"
Sam sighed as Sean dropped his book in shock.
"It's signed Marco!" she swooned.
"I thought you didn't believe in computerized dating!" Sean said, trying not to sound hurt.
"Well, I don't," Sam replied. "But there's no harm in meeting Marco."
That's where she's wrong, Sean thought.
"Clover," Alex said. "It's not too late for you. You can still get an Arrow through the Heart match in time for the Valentine's dance."
"Oh no," Clover adamantly denied. "I don't want one! Since I have sworn off boys, I've had tons of free time! Last night, I completely reorganized my handbag closet."
"You have have a handbag closet?" Sean asked, momentarily forgetting his heartbreak.
"I told you, I have tons of free time!"
Rodeo Drive Sports Gym-6:31 PM
Alex arrived at the gym, anticipation racking her nerves as she surveyed the number of young men exercising in the gym.
I wonder which one of them is Chet? she thought. Just then, a hand touched her shoulder. She turned to see a young man in a blue muscle shirt and shorts, his long dark hair tied back in a ponytail.
"Hi," he said. "I'm Chet. You must be Alex."
Alex blushed excitedly.
"How did you know it was me?" she asked.
"Well," Chet said. "I didn't. But you're the most beautiful girl here, so I was hoping. This is for you."
He pulled out a pink teddy bear with heart-shaped eyes out from behind his back. Alex took it, sighing.
Pomme de Terre Restaurant-7:00 PM
As Sam climbed out of the taxi, she entered the restaurant with her heart beating rapidly. According to the host, Marco was seated at a table in the back. As she approached the table in question, she saw a boy around her age seated, his nose buried in a book.
"Hi," she said, taking a seat. "I'm Sam."
At first, the boy didn't say anything.
"Um," Sam said nervously. "I just wanted to say this isn't my usual-I mean, I wouldn't normally go on a blind-I feel silly about-"
Marco interrupted her fumbling when he looked up from his book, revealing that he had brown hair with sparkling blue eyes that reminded Sam of Sean's.
"Is this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?" he said and Sam's awkwardness stopped when she heard those words.
"You're quoting Doctor Faustus?" she asked happily as their water brought them a dish covered by a dome.
"Sweet Sam," he continued as he began to lift the dome off the dish. "Make me immortal with... octopus!"
"Creamed calamari is my favorite!" Sam exclaimed as she observed the dish in question, eliciting a smile from Marco.
Clover's House-8:50 PM
While Sam and Alex were on the dates of their dreams, Clover sat alone in her room flipping through the channels on her TV... and to her frustration, nearly every channel she saw only showed her the one thing she was trying to avoid while on her hiatus.
"No more beautiful guys!" she wailed before giving up and burying her face into her pillow.
Sean's House-9:10 PM
Leaning his head on his forearm as it pressed against the shower wall, Sean looked down at the tiled floor as the hot water poured down his exposed back and collected in a pool at his ankles before washing down the drain.
Gritting his teeth in frustration, he punched the wall between the two knobs for hot and cold water, only one thing on his mind.
Calm down, he told himself. For all you know, it won't last more than a week.
But if that was the case, why did he keep mentally slapping himself for not confessing to Sam sooner? He could only hope that the date went badly and she'd break up with this Marco, whoever he was.
Straightening his back, Sean allowed the water to rain down on him as the hot droplets cascaded down his bare skin.
The next day, Clover walked into the school exhausted. She had been afraid to sleep and risk dreaming about a boy as she so often did. Between the lack of sleep and practically every girl in school talking about their new Arrow through the Heart boyfriends, Clover was feeling more irritable than she had ever been.
She was so out of it that she didn't see the locker door hit her face and knock her to the floor until it actually happened.
"Hey!" Dominique exclaimed as she looked who bumped into her locker. "Watch where you're- Clover?! Have I told you about Roy?! He's such a dreamboat!"
"So's my Petey-pie!" Caitlin added.
"Let me guess," Clover said, annoyed. "Your new Arrow through the Heart boyfriends?"
"You mean my new Roy-friend!" Dominique said enthusiastically, sighing.
Clover growled as a voice called out to her.
"Clover!" Sean said as he ran up to her. "Something really weird is going on with all the girls in school except for you!"
"Let me guess," Clover pondered. "They're all so psyched about their new digital matches they can't think about anything else?"
"Yeah, that's right!" Sean confirmed. "How did you know?"
Clover shuddered, thinking back to her encounter with Caitlin and Dominique.
"I don't wanna talk about it," she said.
"Well," Sean continued. "I sit next to Mandy in civics class and she won't stop going on about her new boyfriend Favier!"
"Mandy used that thing too?!" Clover shrieked. "Now I'm really glad I'm on hiatus!"
"Anyway," Sean said. "We've gotta find Sam and Alex. I think I saw them by the fountain."
Sean's deduction had been right. Sam and Alex sat on the edge of the fountain, looking very lovestruck.
"Have you guys noticed," Clover said as she and Sean rushed over to them. "That half the girls in school are crazy tweaked about their computer dates?!"
Neither girl answered.
"Uh, Sam?" Sean said, waving a hand in front of her face, which was frozen in a dreamy grin. "Alex?"
He snapped his fingers and the two were brought back to reality.
"Oh," Alex said. "Sorry, Sean. I was just thinking about my dream boy Chet!"
"And I was thinking about my adorable Marco!" Sam added, obviously smitten.
"Oh no!" Sean groaned, trying to stifle his tears.
"Don't tell us you two are lovestruck too!" Clover exclaimed.
"What did your dates do?" Sean asked, afraid. "Propose?"
"Not yet," Sam said coyly.
"But look!" Alex squealed, holding up her hand along with Sam. On each of their ring fingers was a ring with a gemstone of a different design, with Alex's being a plain, white rectangle while Sam's was a pink heart. To Sean's horror, he noticed that the rings were on their left hands. Exactly where an engagement ring would be if either of them were old enough to get married.
"Marco gave me an authentic cubic zirconium sweetheart ring," Sam said happily and now Sean could feel a tear streaming down his cheek.
"Chet gave me one made from genuine imitation diamonoid," Alex added.
Clover screamed while Sean looked down so Sam wouldn't see the state he was in.
"Okay," Clover said. "What is wrong with you two?! You can't be this head over heels after just one date!"
Now there's something I never thought I'd hear from Clover, Sean thought, still hiding his tearstained face from his crush.
"Right after the dance," Sam said as she stood. "We're dropping out of school!"
This made Sean perk his head up, his depression now replaced with concern.
"What?!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah," Alex agreed as if she hadn't heard Sean. "We need to free up more time to spend with our soulmates!"
"WHAT?!" Sean repeated and this time he was joined by Clover.
As Clover blinked in shock, quickly regained his composure.
"Okay," he said to Clover. "Now I'm worried. Sam wanting to drop out of school for a guy? That's something I'd expect from you, Clover."
"Not while I'm on hiatus," Clover reminded. "But you're right. You don't think Sam's been brainwashed again, do you?"
"If she has, then she's not the only one. And that's not all, every girl in school who's used that booth had a date for the dance and broke it off after one date with their Arrow through the Heart match. Even David got dumped."
"Even the school studs are duds?" Clover asked.
"Looks that way," Sean answered.
"Something is seriously whacked around here! I'm calling Jer!"
She took out her Compowder.
Unfortunately for Sean and Clover, Jerry didn't prove to be of much help.
"I'm don't see a problem," he told the two through Clover's Compowder. "W.O.O.H.P satellites have discovered zero evidence of hypnotic pathogens in Beverly Hills or Beverly Hills adjacent areas."
"But how can that be?" Sean asked. "With the way Sam and Alex are acting? Jerry, Clover and I really think there's something disturbing going on!"
"There's no current global crisis," Jerry reiterated. "You two should enjoy the time off. Perhaps do a bit of dating yourselves."
"I'm on hiatus!" Clover argued.
"And there's only girl I want to date," Sean said, thinking of Sam and how she would likely be so preoccupied with Marco, she would forget everything else, including him.
Clover hung up.
"If Jerry's not gonna give us any backup," Sean said. "Looks like we'll have to solve this ourselves. You still keep a few gadgets at home, right Clover?"
"Duh!" Clover said.
"Good, so do I. We'll get what we need and meet outside Sam's house this evening. She's probably going out with Marco again."
"And we're doing this because you're worried about Sam or because you're jealous of her new boyfriend?" Clover jabbed his ribs with her elbow.
"Both," Sean scowled.
In Clover's bedroom, she pulled a box out of her closet containing an assortment of gadgets that she always kept in the event of emergencies.
"Okay," she said to herself picking her selection. "M-ray Contact Lenses in aquamarine, Ultra-Sensitive Two Clip Banana Barrette Listening Device, and Chewable Gluable Tracking Gum."
She tried the last gadget, popping a stick into her mouth. However, she was disgusted to find that it tasted of liver, according to the label.
"Alright," Sean said as opened his bottom dresser, the one his mother never looked in. He pulled out the three gadgets he believed he would need to expose this new mass romance scam.
"Let's see," he continued. "M-ray Contact Lenses, Polar Vortex Liquid Nitrogen Body Spray and Suction Cup Gloves. Perfect."
As he packed his gear, all that was left was to meet with Clover.
Shortly after the two friends arrived outside Sam's house, Sean could barely contain his fury at the sight of a handsome young man wrapping his arm around her as he escorted her to what could only be their next dating destination.
Sure enough, the next thing they knew, they were in the Kirke Art Gallery, with Clover and Sean trying to be as discreet as possible and watching Sam and Marco peruse the various paintings and sculptures.
"The elliptical swirls of color remind me of the whirlpools of your eyes," Marco told Sam. Nearby, Sean clenched his fist.
"Ah, Marco," Sam sighed. "Your intellect is dizzying."
"I don't know what's grosser," Clover whispered to a seething Sean. "Their cheesy love talk or this liver-flavored tracking gum."
"Why didn't you just get the grape flavor?" Sean whispered to her.
"There's a grape flavor?!"
Sean rolled his eyes. "Asked and answered."
"Alas, my love," Marco said to Sam. "I'm forced to leave you."
"Until Friday's dance, dear Marco," Sam swooned. "Parting is such exquisite pain."
As the couple separated, Sean elbowed Clover in the side.
"Now's your chance," he whispered.
Taking the hint, Clover stepped out a little closer to Marco's path toward the restroom, where she spat out the gum and watched as it stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
As she hid behind a pillar, Clover waited for Marco to come out of the men's room while Sean stood off to the side, pretending to examine a sculpture.
A few seconds later, a bright flash of light came out from the door cracks and both Sean and Clover gasped. The man who came out was not Marco, but someone much taller with longer hair.
They were confused even further when they saw the bottom of his shoe and the gum still stuck to it.
"Way bizarro," Clover said as he exited the building. "Now my gum sensor is tracking this guy."
"Come on," Sean said, pointing to the door. "We've got to follow him."
Kimchi Club-9:43 PM
The man's destination turned out to be the Kimchi Club, a Tae Kwan Do school where Alex frequently took lessons. Using their M-ray contact lenses, they peered inside the building where Alex was practicing. The young man tapped her shoulder from behind. Seeing him, she affectionately threw her arms around his shoulders.
Outside, Clover's jaw dropped open while Sean's clenched in anger along with his fist.
"I can't believe this!" Clover exclaimed. "Two-face boy is two-timing Alex and Sam!"
"It's bad enough that I lost Sam," Sean growled. "But to someone's who cheating on her?!"
He was about to barge into the building and beat that guy to a pulp when Clover held him back.
"Cool it, Romeo," she whispered harshly. "We can't let this guy know we're onto him!"
Angry as he was, Sean knew she was right. He calmed down in an instant.
A few minutes passed and Alex and Chet exited the building.
"I've gotta book, chickadee," Chet said. "I promised my little sister some one on one coaching time before her synchronized swimming tryouts."
"I can totally dig that," Alex said. "See you at the Valentine's dance tomorrow night."
Chet gave her a kiss on the cheek, leaving Alex a blushing mess and she fainted to the ground in a heap.
Sean scowled in fury but then Clover turned his head to the direction where Chet ran. He ducked behind a dumpster as a flash of blue light erupted from behind it. Out came not Chet, but a different young man altogether with a striped shirt.
"This is out of control!" Clover exclaimed in shock.
Posh and Wash Spa-10:02 PM
Clover and Sean each took their own positions in the spa's main room. Clover sat on a velvet bench bench near the large mineral bath while Sean was clinging to the ceiling via his Suction Cup Gloves.
"Sean," Clover said into her Earring Communicator, a backup gadget that Sean carried with him. "Do you read me?"
"Yeah," Sean said into his. "Scoot over closer and try to listen to what they're saying."
"Considering what they're gonna be saying," Clover moaned. "I don't think I want to."
"You do want to keep this guy from hurting Sam and Alex, right?" Sean brought up.
Clover sighed in defeat and leaned in Closer to Mandy, who was having her foot massaged by Favier.
"This guy is suckering all the girls from Beverly Hills High!" Clover exclaimed.
"Less talking, more listening!" Sean's voice said into her earring. Clover understood and turned on her Banana Barrette Listening Device.
"Oh, Favier!" Mandy squealed in pleasure. "This foot exfoliation is tres bon!"
"Not as tres bon as the sound of your voice," Favier said in a heavy French accent. "Mon petit tres pas sucre."
Is this guy deaf?! Sean thought. Mandy's voice is the most irritating thing I've ever heard!
"Sacre bleu!" Mandy said happily.
"Sacre blegh!" Clover groaned, trying to keep her dinner from making a reappearance.
"I know," Sean reassured. "It's annoying to me too, but bear with it until we know more about this guy."
"Mandy, mon cherie!" Favier said, pulling out a small ring box. "Allow moi to bestow upon you this meager token of mon affection, s'il vous plait."
Mandy beamed as she opened the box, revealing a ring with a garnet stone.
"I will allow it," Mandy said.
Clover looked in closer at the box to see writing on the side.
"I think I found something," she said into the earring.
"What?" Sean asked, trying to keep his grip on the ceiling.
"The ring this prince charmless is giving Mandy comes from Glittery Snitt. I bet that's where he got it."
Sean furrowed his brow and then groaned in exasperation.
"Not there!"
Clover couldn't resist a small chuckle.
"You know it?" she asked.
"I wish I didn't! My cousin Michelle used to talk nonstop about that store! Apparently, she dates a guy who works there, so she gets a discount!"
Clover's eyes brightened.
"You think if I tell them I'm your cousin's stepsister, they'll give me a discount too?" she asked hopefully.
"Clover, focus!" Sean reminded.
"Right. Do you where the place is?"
"It's at 322 Rodeo Drive," Sean said. "But we're going in there before we head to school. If this guy asked all of the girls at Beverly High to the dance, that will be our best place to catch him in the act. And besides, Michelle doesn't like shopping before noon, so we won't run into her."
Clover nodded, looking back at Favier and Mandy.
"If this creepy Casanova thinks he can play Sam and Alex," she said. "He's got another thing coming."
Glittery Snitt Boutique-9:02 AM
The store was where Sean said it would be. It was like other jewelry stores Clover had been in, only she wasn't here to shop for a change. Sean was with her to make absolutely sure of that.
"This is it," Sean said. "The Glittery Snitt Jewelry Store."
"So this is where he gets his trinkets," Clover added. And they both walked inside.
While Clover briefly allowed herself to get distracted by a glistening diamond ring inside a display case, Sean leaned in to her ear.
"Remember the reason we're here," he reminded.
"Right," Clover acquiesced, nodding.
Walking up to the counter, they looked behind it to see several sheets of paper sprawled across the floor along with a backpack that could have belonged to a student, based on the textbooks seen inside. But there were a few of the same notes on the floor in the backpack as well. Among the papers, there was an ad for the Beverly Hills High Valentine's dance.
Maybe someone here goes to Beverly High, Sean thought.
Sean was about to lean over to read them when a voice behind the counter said, "Good morning."
They looked a little further to the right and saw that a boy around Sean's age had stepped up behind the counter. He was tanned with brown hair and gray eyes and wore a gray suit with a blue striped necktie.
"Welcome to Glittery Snitt," he said. "I'm Eugene. May I help you?"
"Oh," Clover said in a posh accent. "We were just checking out your lovely quarry, darling. You have very beautiful diamonds!"
Then she pointed to the backpack behind the counter.
"What's this, darling?"
"Uh," Eugene droned, looking at the backpack before turning back to them with a nervous smile. "I think someone must have just left it here."
"Do you go to Beverly Hills High?" Sean asked.
"No," Eugene denied. "I go to the Institute for Gifted Teens."
Suddenly, the ground began to shake and Sean wondered for a minute if they were having an earthquake. But he turned out to be mistaken when a woman, one of the biggest Sean had seen in his life, stepped behind the counter, towering over Eugene.
"EUGENE!" she screamed.
"Yes, Mommy?" Eugene asked, very scared as the woman held his shoulders like a vice.
Sean couldn't blame the guy for being scared if he was the son of this woman. He even joined Clover in gulping nervously.
"Have you made a sale to these two?!" the woman demanded to know.
"N-no," Eugene stuttered fearfully. "N-not y-yet."
The woman glared narrowed her eyes and then shot a glare at the two friends/future stepsiblings that was so sharp, Sean almost felt like he was being stabbed with a pin.
"Buy something," Eugene's mother said threateningly. "Or GET OUT!"
She screamed the last two words.
"Yes sir," Clover said in a weak voice as sweat poured off of hers and Sean's foreheads.
The two ran out of the shop, terrified for their lives and no closer to figuring out these Arrow through the Heart booths than they were before.
After leaving the jewelry store, Sean and Clover made a beeline for Beverly Hills High. As they had separate schedules for the day, they agreed to meet in the quad just after lunch to discuss their next move.
When the time came, however, Clover's patience with the opposite sex was being stretched to its limit. Due the popularity of the Arrow through the Heart service, none of the other boys at Beverly Hills High had a date for the dance, not helped by the fact that the dance was that very night. And since Clover was the only single girl available... well, she supposed it was a foregone conclusion.
"So," one said walking up to her. "Want to go to the dance?"
Clover ignored him and walked a little faster
"Should I pick you up at 8:00?" another inquired.
Clover clenched her teeth.
"Will you marry me?" a third dared to question.
"Step off!" she exclaimed, annoyed.
"Clover!" Sean's voice shouted. She turned to her left and saw him running up to her, panting. "Thank God I found you! You won't believe what they just put over there!"
He pointed to the center of the quad. By the fountain was another of those Arrow through the Heart Booths. And judging by the long line of girls more than eager to go in, it had become more than just a passing fad.
"Okay," she said, concerned. "This is really getting out of hand!"
"You haven't seen anything yet!" Sean revealed. "They just put another one in the cafeteria!"
"We've gotta shut it down before-" but a girl rushing past them knocked them down before Clover could complete that sentence.
"Rude much?!" Clover yelled after the girl. "We'd better find Sam and Alex."
"Last time I saw them," Sean said, dusting himself off. "They were headed toward the home ec room."
Sam looked into the oven just as her heart-shaped cake finished rising.
"Marco will love this," she said longingly.
"Pink is Chet's favorite flavor," Alex sighed as she squirted pink frosting onto her own cake.
The door burst open and Clover and Sean barged into the room, urgency written on their faces.
"We have to talk to you two!" Sean exclaimed.
"Not now, guys!" Sam said as she took her cake out of the oven and placing it in a gift-wrapped box. "We have to get ready for the dance! I have to do my hair. Marco likes it up."
Sean's jaw dropped.
"I have to get a manicure," Alex said, admiring her nails. "Chet likes me to wear seafoam nail polish."
Sean and Clover both groaned.
"Earth to zombie chicks!" Clover shrieked. "This is a crisis situation! There is something wrong with your stupid soulmates!"
"You're just jealous, Clover," Alex scoffed.
"Yeah," Sam agreed. "You had a chance for true happiness and you threw it away for this dumb dating hiatus!"
"Sam, Alex!" Sean snapped. "Snap out of it already! Those two guys aren't you think they are!"
Sam narrowed her eyes in anger.
"I can't believe you're taking her side!" Sam accused. "I thought you'd be happy for me!"
"I'm not taking anyone's side!" Sean argued. "I'm just trying to keep you from getting hurt."
Sam stepped so close to him that there was practically no space left between the two. Sean had fantasized about this frequently. But in his mind, Sam's expression was much kinder than the mask of anger that was her face now.
"You wanna keep me from getting hurt?" she asked. "You can start by not talking to me. Ever!"
Sean's eyes began to water up.
"Come on, Alex!" Sam said. "We don't wanna keep Marco and Chet waiting."
The door closed, leaving Clover and Sean alone.
"I can't believe she said that to me," Sean said, burying his face in his hands, unable to hold back his tears any longer. Clover placed a hand on his shoulder, comforting him.
Sean's sobs and Clover's reassurance, however, kept both of them from seeing a figure, clad all in black and his face hidden by a mask, descend from a rope in the vent and into the classroom. Once on the floor, he took out a container of glue and poured it into an empty frosting tube.
When it was full, he began to sneak around to the door.
"It's alright, Clover," Sean sighed after the last tear left his eye. "I got it out of my system."
"Great," Clover said. "Now we just need to get out of here and find out who's-"
But the man in black rolled in front of the door, holding up the frosting tube menacingly before they could reach it.
They both dodged the first burst of glue coming from the tube, each moving in different directions. Clover back up against a refrigerator while Sean crouched beneath a counter. He fired a burst of glue at each of them, but evaded these blasts as well. Coming together again, Clover and Sean saw a serving cart.
One look in the other's eye and they both knew they had the same idea. Sean leapt onto the cart while Clover pushed it forward. Sean jumped off the cart into the air while delivering a kick to their attacker's chest.
Sean briefly considered taking off the guy's mask before he saw his eyes open up. Both he and Clover took this as their cue to leave.
But they were barely to the door when they both felt hands around their ankles.
"Persistent little creep, aren't you?!" Clover hissed in irritation.
Sean and Clover both tried to shake him off, but they didn't need to. He let go and with the dexterity and grace of a ninja, leapt over to behind a counter, preparing to fire another spurt of glue at them.
Thinking fast, Sean took a frying pan and threw it at him. Then Clover repeated his actions with a skillet. Then both kept throwing pans until they ran out and the assailant crawled back up into the vent, making his getaway.
"He's gone!" Sean exclaimed.
"Look around!" Clover said. "See if he left anything behind."
The search didn't take as long as they thought it would, as it was only about fifteen seconds before Sean found something that clearly shouldn't have been there.
"Look at this!" he announced, picking up a certain backpack... one stuffed with advertisements for the Beverly Hills High Valentine's dance. "Think it belongs to anyone we know?"
Clover furrowed her brow, thinking hard before she realized what Sean was implying. The both of them had seen that very backpack before earlier that morning at the Glittery Snitt Jewelry Store.
"Okay, Eugene," she said. "If all's fair in love, then..."
"This means war!" she and Sean said at the same time.
Beverly Hills High School Gym-7:11 PM
The gym was far from the romantic setting it was meant to be on an occasion such as this. Instead, the entire dance floor was the very picture of a riot in the making. On the left half of the gym, the entire male student body in attendance was growing restless, repeatedly shouting, "We want dates!" On the right, the girls were growing impatient as well because their Arrow through the Heart matches were running late... unfashionably so.
"I can't believe Marco isn't here yet," Sam said, looking at her wristwatch. "I hope nothing bad happened to him."
"It's not like Chet to be late either," Alex realized, panic beginning to set in.
What no one realized, however, was that all of their dates were closer than they thought... and all in the same place right above them in the rafters.
Eugene stepped out onto the walkway that held the lighting, his face contorted into satisfied smirk.
"Look at them all," he chuckled. "Waiting for me, me, me!"
"Think again, pal!" a girl's voice said from the doorway behind him.
Gasping, he turned to see Clover, the one who spoke, and Sean standing in the door, blocking off the way he came in.
"Now," Sean said, crossing his arms. "You mind telling us why you're doing this?"
"It's simple, really," Eugene said, his smirk widening. "Revenge!"
Sean arched an eyebrow.
"Last year," Eugene ranted. "The love of my life broke my heart when she dumped me on Valentine's Day."
"Bitter or what?" Clover asked, clearly unimpressed.
"If I'm bitter," Eugene fired back. "What do you call Michelle for breaking up with me over e-mail instead of doing it to my face?!"
"That's cold," Sean admitted. "But there are plenty of fish in the- wait. 'Michelle?' What was her last name?"
Eugene scowled. "Not that it's any of your business, but Warren."
Clover and Sean were both stunned by this news.
"So, this whole mess is Sean's cousin's fault?" Clover asked.
Sean found himself clenching his fists so hard they stretched the material of his spy suit.
"As if I didn't have enough reasons to hate that girl!" he spat.
"Turns out," Eugen continued. "She only dated me for the discount jewelry at my mother's store. Then a new one opened up and she decided I was yesterday's news."
He held up a small, spherical device. "Now, with this little gizmo and the information I get from my booths, I can transform myself into any girl's ideal boy! They all fall madly in love with me! And now, I'll get back at all women by dumping them on Valentine's Day!"
"Over my dead body!" Sean growled as he and Clover took combat stances. Sean made the first move, his fist contacting with Eugene's left eye, leaving it blackened and swollen.
Sean smiled in pride while Eugene growled.
"That's for playing Sam!" Sean taunted.
Clover made her move next and tried to scramble for the device, but he dodged it.
"You should have used my dating booth!" Eugene sneered at her. "I would have been your sweetest dream..."
He pressed a button on the sphere and a blue light engulfed him and smoke began surround Sean and Clover. When the smoke cleared and the light dimmed, Eugene now stood in the gi an hood of a ninja.
"...instead of your worst nightmare!"
He brandished a sword and swung it at the two. Sean did a backflip over the other boy to avoid the strikes, barely escaping as the sword cut off a strand of his hair at the end. He felt the area where the sword cut and could tell that a small snippet of his hair had been cut off.
"Okay," he growled. "Now it's personal!"
"Uh, wasn't it already kind of personal for you?" Clover deadpanned.
Eugene swept at them yet again and they ran.
Down below, several of the girls began to grow concerned, terrified even.
"My Petey-pie isn't coming!" Caitlin wailed, tears forming at her eyes.
"Neither is my Roy-friend!" Dominique sobbed.
Mandy growled in annoyance as her two friends burst into tears.
"Your loser boyfriends might not be coming," she bragged, in denial. "But I'm sure mon Favier is just being fashionably late!"
By this point, Sam, who had grown bored of waiting for Marco to show up, began to notice a bizarre pattern at work.
"Something's not right here," she said to Alex. "Why are all the boyfriends late?"
Back in the rafters, Sean and Clover had their backs literally against the wall as Eugene approached them.
"You can't resist me!" he snickered, turning his eyes to Clover in particular. "No woman can resist me!"
"Good thing I'm not a woman," Sean said, leaping into the air and kicking the sword out of Eugene's hand. He picked it up and pointed it at the other boy. "You might as well give up. Did I forget to mention Clover and I are international spies?"
Beneath his hood, Chet grinned, unconcerned. Then he took the sphere out of his pocket before programming in another transformation. When the smoke and light faded away, Clover and Sean found a massive sumo wrestler standing between them.
"You are sushi!" he exclaimed with glee.
Clover narrowed her eyes as did Sean, both searching for a way out of this. Then, Sean remembered.
"Clover!" he shouted from behind Eugene, taking out the bottle of Liquid Nitrogen Body Spray. "Catch!"
He threw it over the sumo wrestler's head. Catching the black and blue bottle, Clover looked at the floor, Sean's intent becoming clear.
Aiming the bottle at the wooden surface beneath her opponent, she began to spray. It wasn't long before the boards began to grow brittle with the cold and thanks to Eugene's new weight, the floor gave way beneath him as he plummeted to the gym floor below.
All around him, everyone in attendance began to crowd his dazed form, wondering what a sumo wrestler could be doing at a school dance.
Their answers would soon come. Sean and Clover leapt down from the walkway and landed onto the dance floor. Seeking out the device, Sean picked it up.
"Ladies," he announced. "Allow Clover and I to introduce you to Marco."
He pressed the button that shifted Eugene's visage, transforming him into the soft-spoken intellectual boy Sam was dating.
"And Chet," Clover added, pressing the button that turned Marco into the athletic young man who had won Alex over.
"And Favier," Sean continued, turning Marco into the French boy he and Clover had seen exfoliating Mandy's foot. This went on for a while.
"And Petey-pie," Clover said.
"And Roy-boy," Sean said.
"And Wally."
"And Jason."
As Sean and Clover continued to take turns exposing his identities, every girl in the gym grew from confused to shocked and finally furious.
"And last," Clover said.
"And definitely least," Sean added.
"Eugene Snitt," they both finished in unison.
As Eugene's true form was made plain for all to see, Sam, Alex and every other girl walked up to him. When he came to, he gave off a nervous smile.
"I can't believe we shared the eternal bonds of poetic, artistic and intellectual enlightenment!" Sam hissed at him.
"I can't believe we jumped up and down!" Alex whined, just as angry.
"I can't believe I let you exfoliate feet!" Mandy exclaimed.
One by one, every girl Eugene had been dating up to that point took off their rings and deposited them in a pile in front of him.
At one point, a few even threw theirs at him, calling for his blood all the while.
"Tear off his head!" Caitlin shouted.
"Rip out his heart!" Dominique suggested irately.
"Cut up his credit cards!" Mandy insisted.
"Girls," Sean said, gesturing his hands for them to calm down. "Relax. Clover and I came up with something better."
As he smirked, Eugene rose to his feet, wringing his hands together anxiously.
"What are you gonna do?" he asked, clearly trying to keep his cool. "Have me thrown in jail?"
"You wish!" Clover said as Sean shook his head.
Before Eugene could ask more, the ground began to shake as if a blue whale had suddenly grown feet and decided to come out of the ocean for a stroll. The lamps above began to shake and the punch in the bowl on the buffet began to ripple. All the while, Eugene had never felt more scared than he had in his life.
Through the gym doors burst the last person he had wanted to see that night.
"EUGENE!" his mother screamed.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Eugene shrieked at the top of his lungs.
By the end of it, Eugene was practically begging to be taken to jail. Once they felt he'd had enough of his mother's wrath, Sean and Clover decided to show a little mercy and call W.O.O.H.P to take him into "protective custody", as Sean called it.
"This is just great!" Mandy complained as the W.O.O.H.P helicopter took Eugene away. "What's more humiliating than not having a date on Valentine's Day?!"
"Being too blind to see all the great guys around you," Clover answered, pointing to the gym doors.
Mandy looked at the gym and nodded before turning back to the crowd.
"Come on girls!" she said happily. "What do you say we get this party started?!"
Minutes later, the school gym was full again and the dance was in full swing. Clover and Sean leaned against the back wall, watching the proceedings with great satisfaction. Sam and Alex approached them, now very humbled by their experiences.
"We are so sorry, Clover," Alex said. "Sean."
"Yeah," Sam agreed. "We should never have let boys get in the way of our friendship."
"Can you forgive us?"
"Of course we do," Sean said as he and Clover initiated a group hug between the four.
"Believe me," Clover added. "I know what it's like to be driven to temporary insanity by boys."
"Only temporary," Sean joked.
"Shut up," Clover fired back.
As they split apart, Alex went to find her own dance partner and Clover decided to go and try some of the punch since she wasn't going to dance with anyone. Sean and Sam were alone.
"Look, Sean," Sam said, blushing. "About what I said earlier..." She looked down, very clearly ashamed of the way she had acted to him when she was under Eugene's spell.
Kindly, he took her hands in his.
"Hey, it's okay," Sean told her. "I forgive you for that."
Sam smiled and Sean's hands began to tremble with joy. He took them away from her.
What am I doing? he thought. Now's my chance!
"But if you're feeling really bad about it," he said, gulping. "If you still need a date for the dance..."
She nodded eagerly.
"I'd love to," she said.
Yes!
The two took each other's hands and began to sway gently to the music as a slow song came on.
"So," Sean whispered. "What do you think of this year's Valentine's Day now?"
Sam's smile dropped a little.
"It's nice," she admitted. "But I'm kind of bummed I didn't get a date who read me poetry."
"Well," Sean said, grinning. "How's this?"
He cleared his throat and began to recite the one poem he committed to memory before coming to the dance.
"Let us go then, you and I. When the evening is spread out against the sky. Like a patient-"
"You know T.S. Eliot?" she asked, impressed.
Sean nodded and the two continued to dance.
Beverly Hills High School-11:46 AM
The Monday after the dance, life at Beverly Hills High returned to business as usual as Sean, Sam and Alex walked through the schoolyard, their free period over. They had barely taken their first steps when they saw Clover sitting in a heart-shaped booth right by some bushes.
"Hey, Clover!" Alex greeted.
"Guys!" she said. "I've totally found my true calling! From now on, you may refer to me as the fabulous Clover: Professional Matchmaker. Besides, the fringe benefits are great!"
"Uh," Sean uttered. "What fringe benefits?"
"Hold please! I have a client!"
Clover zipped out of the booth and threw herself at a nearby athletic boy, wrapping her arms around his. He didn't seem to complain much and the two walked off happily.
"Looks like the dating hiatus is officially over!" Sam commented as she, Sean and Alex laughed.
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know many of you were probably expecting Boy Bands Will Be Boy Bands. But, as I explained in the last chapter, I decided to shift the order of the episodes for timeline purposes.
Happy early Valentine's Day, everyone!