"Hey, you guys are squooshing m-me!" Jeremy struggled to free his arms.

"Well, look who's waking up," Jason teased.

Jeremy rubbed his face on Jason's sleeve.

"And he isn't even crying."

"Haha." Despite his curt tone, Jeremy turned to Josh and cupped Josh's face in both his hands. "I am so glad to s-see you." He put his arms around Josh's neck and hugged him tightly.

"I'm going to remember you said that! "Josh threw off the covers and went to start the coffee and get dressed.

"Did I hit anyb-body?" Jeremy asked Jason. "Or scream?"

Josh laughed. "If we'd been in town, you'd have panicked them all into thinking there was an Indian attack, with that war whoop you let out."

Jeremy glanced doubtfully at Jason, who merely nodded while pulling on his pants.

"S-sorry."

"Don't be. We were getting bored with being asleep, and if you hadn't yelled, we'd have missed seeing you bounce yourself off the door. Now that was a treat!"

Jeremy's lips twitched. "Josh, you're m-mean." He was untangling the cover wrapped around his lower body. Jason sure knew how to wrap someone up so they couldn't run away.

"Still glad to see me?"

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah. I am." He hurried to get dressed, and was ready at the same

"Any headache?" Jason eventually asked.

Jeremy shook his head vigorously, which was evidence enough of no concussion. "Not even a l-little one."

"I dunno," Josh objected. "He seems awful cheerful for having had one of his nightmares. Isn't that one of the symptoms?"

"Well, I didn–" Jeremy stopped and frowned. "I g-guess I did. Scream and run away. But not like the other times. It was d-different."

"Why do you think that was?" Jason asked, watching him carefully, but casually.

Jeremy shrugged.

"You ready to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I wanna know how you lost me."

Jeremy half-laughed. "M-me too." He was thoughtful while he finished his coffee and jumped up to refill all the coffees.

"I c-can't even say I w-wasn't – steerical?"

"Hysterical." Jason supplied the word.

"His-tare-ick-ull. Hysterical." Jeremy tried out the word. "Yeah, okay. I was that, when I c-couldn't f-find you, Josh. I thought – I th-thought the M-monster got you b-before me."

"Oh."

"Why did you think that?" Jason asked.

"B-because he wasn't there."

"Really, Jason! Isn't that obvious?"

Jeremy laughed at Josh's silliness.

Jason smiled.

Jeremy looked serious. "I hafta t-tell you, but it's all m-mixed up, and I th-think it's a bunch of times all smushed t-together, and, and ,- and I jus' d-don't like anyofit!" He frowned. Now he felt like crying.

"Where do you want to start?" Jason asked sympathetically, leaning forward, stretching his hand out to his young brother. He wanted to take the boy on his lap, but it felt like it would be an affront to the dignity of the youngest brother he was seeing this morning. This was not the usual frightened and crying child.

"S-some of it is me now, an' some is m-me then, whenever it w-was."

"We understand. Dreams, especially about things we don't want to remember, can work that way."

Jeremy's blue eyes looked directly into Jason's. "You KNOW that?"

"Yes, Jeremy. There are things I don't want to remember."

"Huh." Jeremy considered that. "But you do? When you're asleep?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Jeremy was thoughtful. "Okay," he said, and told them his dream, as simply as he could, starting with the cold, the wind, and the rain.

Silence fell.

"No wonder you scream and run," Josh said soberly. "You poor kid."

"Uh-huh." Jeremy twined his hands together on the table, and stared at them, winding and winding themselves.

He took a deep breath, let it out, and took another one.

He looked through his lashes at Jason, then Josh, and back at his hands.

The brothers waited.

"I th-think –. I th-think the m-monster was D-da."

"I think so, too," Jason agreed, mildly. "What do you think made you start remembering that?"

Jeremy shrugged. "Bec-cause i was g-getting big enough to understand?"

"Understand what?"

Jeremy shrugged again. "I dunno. That – that-that that you can love s-someone, but still w-want to hurt them, sometimes?"

"Why would Da want to hurt you, Jeremy? You were his 'wee one', his baby. He had never hit you beyond a quick swat on the backside."

Jeremy's voice lowered."B-because I was b-bad?"

"How were you bad?"

Jeremy shook his head. "C-can't t-tell you. Da said – he s-said –" Jeremy swallowed hard, "he s-said y-you'd b-be even madder'n him. B-bec-cause you t-told him I w-wouldn't, and I m-made you b-be a liar, and n-not even y-you would l-let m-me g-get aw-way with that. He s-said, i would th-think he was a n-nice m-monster wh-when you f-found out what I d-did. So I c-couldn't t-tell you."

Jeremy put his head on his hands, and cried. "I d-didn't want you t-to b-be a m-monster."

"What had you done?"

Jeremy shook his head and sobbed. "Nuffing. Din't d-do nuffing.N-nobody done n-nuffing. A m-monster was ch-chasing m-me an' I ran and ran and it g-got me."

To hell with the dignity. This was a hurt, frightened, and confused child.

Jason picked him up and held him close.

Josh scooted a chair over to close the circle.

Jeremy wasn't the only one shedding tears.