It was another night in Brockton Bay, and Shadow Stalker was on patrol.
A Wards patrol, rather than a real one of course.
And as such it was more evening than night.
Not that she was going to let any of that stop her having fun with it.
She hadn't let the PR Taskforce, as she'd heard them called on some forum somewhere (looking at the other posts from the same person made them come across as somewhat schizophrenic, but that didn't stop them having a point), forcing her to join their little club stop her having some fun at school (so much for their whole 'we'll be watching you like hawks for putting a toe out of line' speech) after all.
Why should she let the time of day ruin her fun?
If she was stuck with a member of the Protectorate, like that new 'Quickshot' guy or Miss Militia, it would be different, they knew how to keep an eye on their patrolmates, but another Ward?
No problem.
The lack of anything going on nearby was a different matter, however.
And then, as she was about to start bothering Aegis (whose chip on the shoulder about being leader meant that he wouldn't let her slip away) the sound of breaking glass drew her attention.
"I heard something, I'm checking it out," she told the meat shield, putting action to word as she'd heard someone say.
"Wait," the idiot called out behind her, only to be ignored.
There was a crime in progress, why should she wait?
The sound must have traveled much better than she thought, Shadow Stalker decided, given how long it took for her to reach the site of the disturbance.
It took a moment for her practiced eye to take in what was going on.
There was a shop with its window broken, a group of men unconscious on the floor, and a robot jellyfish floating next to a figure in some kind of power armour.
She snorted at the sight.
"A new Tinker, and the first thing you decide to do is rob a store in your fancy new armour? What a joke…"
"The only joke here is you, you bloody psychotic git," the jellyfish responded in some kind of vaguely familiar accent.
Was it European or something?
The Tinker turned their head, as though to speak to their creation, but Shadow Stalker didn't give them that chance.
"You wanna go?"
"Gladly," it answered, raising an arm.
Shadow Stalker was already dodging before a flame ignited at the end of the arm, shooting out and identifying the arm as a flamethrower.
She took her own shot, placing a phased bolt right at the center of mass, the most likely location for whatever batteries the jellyfish used, in response.
The bolt dephased early, bouncing off its armour, and Shadow Stalker ground her teeth.
Right, robot meant electricity.
She switched her aim to the Tinker, considering for a moment the virtues of switching out her ammo for a proper bolt, but decided against it.
Nobody really cared about the nameless grunts in the gangs, but Capes?
That was the lesson in the 'Unwritten Rules' after all.
"Wait," the Tinker called out, but Shadow Stalker wasn't about to listen.
She fired another phased bolt, only for the big stupid jellyfish to manage to intercept it.
"Be done in a mo, mum," it said, an eyestalk facing each of them.
Shadow Stalker couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter.
"Mum? Oh, so you're the sort of Tinker who calls their tech 'babies' then. What a bad joke…"
"That's not what he means! He's using it as the diminutive of… why am I explaining this? Look, I'm not a-"
She was interrupted by the arrival of Aegis, who announced his arrival by landing a flying punch on the Tinker, knocking her back.
"Stalker, situation."
He had taken a step back after landing, positioning himself beside her.
"Some joke of a Tinker and her pet robot jellyfish robbed the store," she told him, not taking her eyes off them.
"I didn't," the Tinker started to say, only for her own jellyfish to interrupt.
"Jellyfish? I assure you, I am not a jellyfish. I am a Mister Handy model-"
"Is that a British accent?"
Shadow Stalker couldn't help but glance towards Aegis at his interruption.
"What? Ah, that's the accent," she realised. "So make that a robot jellyfish butler."
"Why does a British accent automatically make it a butler?"
"If you were making a robot butler, what accent would you give it? Of course a robot with a British accent is a butler."
Shadow Stalker turned away from Aegis, looking towards the Tinker and robot again, to see that they were in full retreat.
"Damn, she's getting away."
She paused for a moment.
"Eh, no big loss."
Aegis just sighed.
"Console, reporting encounter with suspected villainous Tinker, accompanied by a robot jellyfish."
"What do you mean, suspected? She robbed a store, then attacked me!"
"It's protocol. Like how it's always 'alleged crimes' until conviction. We need someone with actual authority before we can call her a villain."
"Urgh, red tape…"
]
The report was processed quickly.
Tinker with a robot jellyfish butler robbing a store?
A robot butler with British accent no less?
Clearly a new joke villain.
Within the hour, instructions were sent out to all PRT affiliated heroes as to how to deal with a joke villain.
{}
"Hey dad," Taylor called out as she got home. "So, things didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped…"
"Ahuh. Is that how you want to try explaining this?"
Taylor only glanced at the printout reluctantly.
"Are you sure you should be showing me that? I mean, it looks pretty official and I don't want to break the law or anything…"
"Then why is there a report of Codsworth being associated with a joke villain? When Armsmaster turned you away, we agreed you would be an independent hero."
Taylor hesitated, before collapsing on herself.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I found these guys robbing a store and stepped in to stop them, then as I secured the stuff they were stealing Shadow Stalker showed up and Codsworth picked a fight."
There was a moments silence.
"I'm planning to check his code tomorrow, to see why he picked a fight with a hero."
There was another moments silence.
"I still have the stuff they stole, safe in my inventory, so at least we can make use of that."
"Taylor, you know we haven't had to worry about money since I joined the Protectorate. Just… just make sure you're ready for Arcadia, we can discuss this properly when I don't have a patrol to prepare for."
Taylor nodded, and sidled past to head for her room, before pausing.
"Be safe dad, alright?"
His gaze softened.
"Of course. Now go get some sleep."
She nodded, and followed his advice.
That hadn't gone quite as badly as she'd feared.
But still, she had to wonder how exactly she got here.
It had to have started when she Triggered, just a few months ago, as best she could tell…