Surviving as a Nobody in Naruto

by Corvid's Eclair

Being an OC without hax sucks balls. Makoto Hotaru, a mere noname background character stared to a certain swing, and gained sentience. Self aware that he is an OC with useless anime facts at his disposal, hilarity ensues. Like it or not, he will have to face The Plot against his will. Warning: AU as heck

42. 42

Chapter 42: The Rising of Makoto Heffner

Part 5: Makoto Heffner secret technique: Mindfuck no Jutsu

"Earth? What do you want to talk about earth? Like what, your woods has a soil problem or what?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Makoto. We knew something was up with you after your sudden personality change. The songs you did since you learn how to play instruments. The kid stories you sell on the side. And your unprecedented understanding of electricity that none on this planet is aware off. We've been watching you since you were born."

…..

………..

…………………..

( 'A') ('-' )

('A' ) ('-' )

( 'o') *(-_- )

"So the Naras are a bunch of pedos? What a creep. Well, you guys are the ninja equivalent of the internet. So being creeps are just on par for the course after all."

Shikamaru facepalms as he received my totally valid conclusion. Wow, you guys had been monitoring me since I was a baby? Creep alert.

"Never mind. I refuse to play into your mindgames.", Shikamaru made a bench out of Doton and sat.

So, to one up him, I cast a Mini Raiju no jutsu and make it take take the form of the majestic moose, white and blue in the color scheme as usual. I know how stupid it is to make a Mini Raiju that is twice taller than an average human, but fuck it, I'm going to flex on the Nara with my superior Cervidae species.

Then, I ride the Raiju Moose. Looking down on Shikamaru.

Shikamaru raise an eyebrow, as he catch the slight I had projected to him. He sighed. Guess I am being a so much more pain in the ass than he had expected. Anyway, he raised a finger

"Whatever. Anyway, there is two types of Isekai Invaders as we call it. The first type is Bodysnatcher. Their soul is taken straight from Earth and jammed into a body here, either into their multiverse counterpart or someone who is more good looking than their original body. The gods tend to pick the ugly loser kids from Japan for some reason."

Shikamaru then raised two fingers.

"The second type is a bit rarer. Instead of a soul that is preserved as it is and sent to hijack another body, this variant instead is called an Imperfect Reincarnation. Usually, souls are kept in the reincarnation cycle on their own planet, but sometimes a foreign soul may enter another planet cycle of reincarnation. This foreign soul is not well integrated into the system, which lead them to inherit a certain amount of memories from their predecessor, but not their personality and identity."

He then pointed at me.

"After a period of careful observation, we have concluded that you are an Imperfect Reincarnation. On the 17th July five years ago, Makoto Hotaru, the orphaned son of Makoto Raikou and Makoto Shizuka had stared to a swing in front of the Academy and his personality had instantly changed on the spot. He developed chronic depression, sociopathic and antisocial tendencies as well as possessing knowledge that does not belong to Narutoverse."

"Heee, so how did you conclude that I am an Imperfect Reincarnation instead of a Bodysnatcher?"

"Well, I won't waste our time by telling you our procedures, but we pretty much reach the conclusion by the simple fact that despite gaining Metaknowledge, you lack the behavior patterns of an Earthling. Your mental state is more aligned with a traumatized child that is broken by his sudden understanding of his miserable life and his terrible future prospect. Besides, a Bodysnatcher would be excited instead of depressed when they realize they had been isekaid. It is easy to find them out. For example, our most surefire way to know if someone is a Bodysnatcher is that they have an utterly dull personality and is a complete doormat, while for some reason everyone like them because "they are so kind". Many girls will want to get into his pants yet somehow he will never get laid. We have a whole rack of files for them."

Then, Shikamuru eyes glinted with a little bit of disgust.

"The other surefire way we know someone is a Bodysnatcher is that they immediately perform child grooming. They will close in to girls that are deemed as heroine material and build up their relationship from childhood, and they tend to attempt sexual grooming as well."

"Yea I know, Shikamaru. I don't know what's worse. Cardboard LN MC or Rudeus."

"It's definitely Rudeus, Makoto."

"Yea. I never get his hype. Then again I despise Mage build. Nothing is more boring than anime magic. Cringy chuuni chants and stupid geometry? Count me out."

"Really? That's your only critic over Mushoku Tensei? That you don't like anime magic system and therefore you have zero attention span for Rudeus? And Mushoku Tensei magic system is actually rather well developed! That's like the only thing that is good about the damn thing!"

I shrugged. "As you said, I'm not an Earthling. Rudeus is a creep, sure but we live in a society where 12 years old graduated from Murder Gremlin Academy and expected to murder some poor bastard in exchange for a few coins and breed as soon as possible so that there can be replacements. I inherited only Metaknowledge from my predecessor, not his morality."

And I scoffed.

"Also I just don't like mage build MCs. Melee DPS ftw. I don't care if the magic system is well designed. I just want my MC to go guns and swords goes brrrrr. Mage build is for pussies!"

[A/N: as usual, this fic is full of controversial opinions that may or may not piss off people or make them laugh their ass off]

That and Mushoku Tensei was boring as hell to watch. I have zero interest about the character development of an ex-fat pedo into somewhat of a decent person. There's better things to watch, like Korean dramas. I just want to see badass dudes being badass damnit!

"Fine. I wont waste my time to debate over Rudeus of all people.", Shikamaru decide to relents.

"What's up with the Nara clan then? You guys are somekind of an Isekai Invaders too?"

Shikamaru then wait a bit. I don't sense any electromagnetic waves that relay his communication to his superior, so whatever method Nara clan used to perform telepathy must had been chakra based.

He then subtly jerked back to reality.

"So, you got clearance to tell me?"

Shikamaru snorted.

"It seems to be so. You are not the first Isekai Invader nor you will be the last. To answer your question, no, we are both alike and unalike you in a sense. To be exact, the Nara clan has been capturing and extracting Metaknowledge from Isekai Invaders for centuries. The reason why we did not bother to capture and extract you was because we already know what you know, perhaps even more so. Besides, we are hardly interested in your weeb knowledge nor do we think you are smart enough to reverse engineer Earthling technologies."

"Really? But I did had Naruto engineer a gun."

Among some other things, like a bike.

"It doesn't matter at this point. As we both know, Uzumaki Naruto is the Main Character. We had been controlling the spread of technology and prevent tech that is too advanced in the preveious eea in order to ensure that the era which Uzumaki Naruto will be born in will not be too differ than the Canon. Now that he is here, there is no need for strict control over technological development."

I scoffed. "Yea great job at that. This world is already AU on a crack. The Bijuus are youkai gods, Naruto is youkai instead of a jinchuriki and Gato is awesome now. If you guys had been trying to control the canon then you guys are really bad at this."

"Hmph… if only… Tell me Makoto, do you know how exactly this planet turn into Narutoverse?"

"I don't know. Maybe some asshole write up this nonsensical world we live in now because he was bored."

"Ah yes, the Fanfiction Genesis Theory. I see you subscribe to the idea that our world just popped into existence because some trashy writer conjure us into existence. Well, let me tell you a brief history of our world."

Shikamaru then adjust his butt. He's probably having cramps now as he's sitting on a rock.

"As you may realize in the original, a Kung Fu alien woman escaped to Planet Naruto and blah blah blah, she plant a tree, her sons disagree over her choice of fertilizer and they proceed to ground her for life in the moon. That's not how it goes here originally. Back then, this is a generic LN medieval world just over 2000 years ago. I mean, seriously, we are all mostly looks like European unless we have Land of Water ancestry and we speak English. So, why did our world end up becoming a weird japanese culture abominations?"

"Wait, you're telling me this used to be a generic LN world?"

"That's right, Makoto. Anyway, it all started when a group of Isekai Invaders had a terrible idea. Terrafiction. Simply put, a group of Isekai Invaders decides that this world was too generic and lacked an engaging worldbuilding, so they decided to for lack of a better word, try to recreate Narutoverse right on this planet. And through recreating Narutoverse, they can breed Naruto Waifues into existence. So, Kaguya was summoned into this world and through her divine powers they mutate the native's gene to produce chakra."

"Heeeeeeeee"

"Also, one of them was a hardcore incest connoisseur, so he intentionally coded the genes so that Kekkei Genkai require inbreeding to develop and retained."

"Heeeeeeeeeee"

"The four of them then become the foundation of the Divine Blood clans. Uchiha, Senju, Hyuuga and Uzumaki. They created the Sage of Six Path in order to connect the Six Realms of Reincarnation and through that, the Youkai poured into this planet. After several more modification, the seedbed was set and all they have to do is wait for the canon Naruto characters to be born. They all had a discussion over dibs over who gets which waifu and then they went into cryo sleep."

"I reckoned that things doesn't go quite as planned."

"It sure didn't go to plan. The Sage of Sixth Path who has immense hatred for the Founding Fathers returns to the Human Realm, the designated name of this world and killed all of them. He recovered the Nine Dai-Youkai, a group of modified Youkai to replicate the canon Bijuu and removed their Plot Programming. Originally, they are supposed to wipe out most of the Youkai and lay dormant until Hashirama collect them all. However, as you can see, the Sage had derailed that."

Yea, no shit. I was confused as hell with the AU crap that is going on in this world.

"So, what's your role in this?"

"My ancestor was not an Isekai Invader, however he did know the truth. Thus, he founded the Nara clan and dedicate the Clan to a mission to suppress Isekai Invaders and keep The Plot on track as best as we could."

"Why would he and in turn you all need to keep the Plot on track? Why not just let it loose?"

"Because there is a time-gated event. As much as they are a bunch of horny idiots, the Founding Fathers are brilliant Terrafictionors. They calculated the development of Human Realm to produce Narutoverse except that most of the prominent male characters will be genderbended into female. Naruko, Sasuko, Kakashiko, Itachiko. Stuff like that. Once Naruko is born, the plan was for them to wake up and start gathering waifues. To sell them over their badassery, they prepared… several doomsday bringers. Creatures that is too OP for Narutoverse but is coded to be beaten by them."

Oh for fucks sake.

"Yes Makoto. They created Kungfu Aliens and they are coming. That is why Naruto and Sasuke must be born and to do that we had to keep The Plot on track. Now that the Founding Fathers are gone, our hope lies on those two Main Characters."

….

………

…………….

Goddamnit, just what the fuck did you smoke, Corvid's Éclair? Can you for once just write a generic boring rehash fanfic? Some cringy smut while at it? Why do you have to cook this abomination?!!

"Ok, cool story bro. But what's that got anything to do with me? They say dead man tells no tales, so I assume since you got me surrounded from the start, you're going to kill me off right here."

Shikamaru stood up as Nara clan members come out from the shadows.

"We have been contemplating over your necessity to The Plot."

All the Nara clan members spoke in unison. Whoever Nara Shikamaru is, he is gone at the moment, absorbed as part of the Nara Collective.

"Based on our data, you are a special entity even for Isekai Invaders. The Fanfiction SI-OC, that is the kind of existence you are. A special type of Invader that has special power known as Gary Stu Privilege. A Wanker, to be brief. We let you live, observing whether or not your strength will be necessary for The Plot."

The Nara clan draw out their kunai, ready to leap at me and turn me into minced meat.

"However, you disappointed us. You start off to be promising, as you prevent the Uchiha Massacre, but you did not to take advantage on that until Naruto and Sasuke dragged you to be their friend kicking and screaming. You did not min-maxing your Kekkei Genkai development to make you overpowered as instead you waste your time drawing mangas and playing songs. You had a chance to takeover the Hyuuga clan to consolidate your political power, but you give it away to Hinata, who is a doormat you did not bother to finish develop. And then you killed Killer B, one of the most important ally we need for The Plot. And now you are trying to become an anime and hentai producer? You have squandered your chance to be powerful. To be a God that can save us all! It is time for you to be terminated. Perhaps a better, more appropriate Self Insert may come in after you. There's still some time before the Chuunin Exam afterall."

"Wow gee, sorry that I am doing a bad job at being a Self Insert. It's not my fault that my fanfic writer is a lazy sociopathic weeb. I wish this fic is just a monkeybrain smut fic too, you know."

"Hmph, that devil may care attitude. You are just like your father."

Wow okay, you want to play it like that huh? Big mistake.

"I know you're the one that killed my parents."

( 'o')( 'o') (-_-) ('o' )('o' )

"err…. How did you know that?"

"I also know that you are the one that killed Tobirama. Or faked him being killed. Hell, I bet Tobirama is the real Tobi all along and he just going around pretending to be Madara who is actually Obito but really really actually he is Tobirama. He literally just remove rama from his name. Dude was so obvious."

"How did you know that?!!"

"I also know that Yamanaka is the branch of Nara clan. You needed a decoy family so that they don't figure out your telepathic ability. You want to hide in the shadows by being some Shadow Hiden users that's just a bit smarter than usual but nothing more, while the Yamanaka has to deal with the brunt of being the most prominent psychic clan. You just add Akimichi clan into your alliance because they are a loyal albeit simple-minded clan and can provide the muscles you sorely lack."

"You figured that out too?!!"

"Please. So even you had bought into the hype of my stupidity? You're geniuses right? Go and calculate the probability of Outstupid Maneuvers being actually just me pulling out random stupid plans instead of it actually me being a 10k IQ gigachad mastermind."

Man, it must be some very complicated series of calculations as the Nara… no fuck it let's just call them ChatGPT. NaraGPT took five minutes to finally present us with their answer.

"We have calculated several times and the probability of you being a 10k IQ gigachad mastermind remains above 99%. No matter how we see it, we can only conclude that the Outstupid Maneuvers were in fact the most genius plans ever conceived!"

"That's right. You may be the NaraGPT but I am Aizen Hotaru! You may have adapted to the Plot, but I am born in it. Molded by it. I am The Plot itself. Did you really think I came here involuntarily through your Shadow Puppetry jutsu? No, I intended for this confrontation to happen."

NaraGPT collectively gasped as I revealed the extent of my plans. Nothing is coincidence, everything is according to The Plot.

"Hell, Shikamaru, how about you give your mom a call. Maybe check under her sink. It would be shame if Yoshino get CCCC."

There is a minute of lull until NaraGPT continue to converse.

"There is no C4!"

"But she did found a paper with smiley face, right? Man, you guys need to have better plumbing. I should know, I used to work in the sewers! Rats are smarter than you think, you know. It will be a shame if one carry an actual explosive. The Hyuuga can tell you that."

"If you have always been this mad genius all along then why hide it?! Why did you insist on being a buffoon?!!"

"Tsk tsk tsk.", I wave my finger like Avdol. "You guys ate enuff Sun Tzu content, right? It's basic Art of War. When you're strong, pretend you are weak. When you're weak, pretend you are strong."

( 'A')( 'A') \ ( '-' ) / ('A' )('A' )

The NaraGPT has a moment of revelation. Being a 2000 years old collective intelligence, they must have rarely being outsmarted like this.

Jokes on them, I'm just outstupiding them. It doesn't take much brainpower to figure out the nonsense they did once NaraGPT reveal itself to be the Illuminati of Narutoverse. They said themselves that they monitor me since I was a baby. Knowing the brief plot reveal about my dad by Killer B, it isn't taking much of my brainpower to figure out NaraGPT is the one behind his death.

I am a mangaka. Cliché plotflow like this is just basic writing anyone can do.

The rest of it was just me spouting up nonsense. If I happen to be wrong, I will just bluffed that it's part of my plan anyway. I already struck a blow by messing up their perception of me anyway.

That's the thing about geniuses. They expect logic to rule the world and can't conform to insanity. They put their trust in calculations and rules of probability. They worship Order and scorns Chaos.

Geniuses are predictable. I can always expect them to believe in the highest probability. And that is why geniuses cannot read my moves.

They're playing 10D Chess.

I'm playing Backgammon.

Who the hell plays Backgammon?!

That's the idea.

"Foolish of you however for you to not plant actual explosives in the Nara Compund. You lose your chance for initiative strike."

"Well duh, why would I waste my time to bomb your clan? The Elder Brain is not there anyway."

"You know about the Elder Brain?!!"

"Yea, I bet you stole that idea from Baldur's Gate 3."

( 'O')( 'O') \( '~' )/ ('O' )('O' )

"But you don't know where is it do you?! Hah!"

"Please, we all have Earthling knowledge here. Of course to ensure the most coverage within range, you keep it at the highest point in the village vicinity. Let's see, wouldn't it be funny if the giant heads at the Hokage Mountain has actual brain inside their noggins?"

"Gaaahhhh!!!!"

The NaraGPT bodies all fall to the ground, their body went into seizure as they're calculating the probability of me just stupidly guessing or if I really know everything all along.

"you…. How did you???"

I shrugged.

"Aizen Hotaru, remember? Planning everything the moment I spawned into existence is a piece of cake. From the very start, you have been living in the illusions of my Kyouka Suigetsu."

Some of them try to kai themselves out of genjutsu. Looks like I hit the Nara Neural Network with stupidity hard enough that some of them had been ejected from the network

"Kyouka Suigetsu power is Perfect Hypnosis. It wont be perfect you can kai out of it. You can surely try though."

I tapped my Raiju Moose and it turns to leave.

"I will let you guys off this one time. But hey, if you think your Collective can win against me in a battle of wit, you're welcome to try. Maybe you can be the genius that beat the Outstupid Maneuvers! Who knows!"

I left behind the squirming, seizing NaraGPT bodies. Man, I hope they don't figure out I'm just gaslitting them actually. I don't want to get flamed over killing off Shikamaru afterall.

))))))))))))

I arrived to my humble abode unscathed. It looks like the Nara has decide to back off for now.

Well, this is annoying. We don't settle as enemies but we're sure as hell not allies right now. They will be looking to assess me, seeing if I am too dangerous to be left alive.

Damn it, if it weren't because they're getting rid of me for being a useless OC I wouldn't bother pretending to be this Aizen level mastermind. Do you know why no one can refute Aizen's plan? That's coz no one one knows what the fuck was Aizen plan is! I'm pretty sure he was bullshitting and improvising as his experiments gone wrong and with Gin and Shinji and Urahara on his ass the only thing he can do was double down that this was all part of his plan all along and that's how the greatest villain in anime was born.

Man, Surviving as a Bullshitter in Soul Society could be the next big thing after this fanfic is done.

Nope. Nuh uh. I'm not adding another major fic to my roster. I have other shit to do man!

Whoah?!! Who the fuck is there!?

It's the wind as usual. Don't mind it.

Man, the wind can really surprise you.

Now here I am, just looking at my sleeping wife. What a useless piece of trash. As a heroine, you're supposed to sense that I am in danger and save me, not just sleep obliviously!

You're lucky that you're cute!

Whatever, for now I'm going to sleep. Stupid NaraGPT doing their villain reveal. Can't even get a good sleep after a whole week I spent drawing animation cells.

.

.

.

(((Nara Compound)))

"How's your head, son."

"It's fine, I think."

"Still, go get yourself checked at our infirmary. There might be internal bleeding in your brain."

"Alright."

Shikamaru then left his father for the infirmary.

Nara Shikaku, head of the Nara clan as well as the Administrator of the Nara Neural Network contemplate the confrontation against Makoto Hotaru. Before, there is a 12% chance that Outstupid Maneuvers may turn the situation around, so they had dismissed that Makoto Hotaru can escape the confrontation with his life intact. He would be snuffed out and then the Divine Beast within him will be captured and transferred to Sasuke perhaps.

The reason they decide to get rid of Makoto is because he had led Sasuke and Naruto astray from the plot. Naruto is more interested in matchmaking people with youkai and inventing new technology through Fuinjutsu Engineering than amassing power to become the Hokage, and Sasuke is at peace, not obsessing for revenge. They should have intervene and prevent Makoto from derailing The Plot further from the start and set Naruto and Sasuke back onto their intended Plotlines.

Instead, Makoto Hotaru had completely turned the situation on their head and damaged the Elder Brain through sheer logic error. He didn't even need to lift a finger. All he needs was words.

To think they were fooled to believe he was a buffoon all along. No, of course a Kekkei Genkai which allow perfect control of one's brainwave can enhance their brainpower to the maximum potential! The Elder Brain recalculation based on this parameter has reveal that Makoto Hotaru's IQ is so high that he can match against the full collective IQ of the Nara clan!

The problem was, Makoto Hotaru is not a regular Isekai Invader. The Invaders were usually shallow idiots that only want to live up their fantasies and gather up harem members, but Makoto instead refuse to get involved with The Plot. He rather stay cooped in his house just drawing mangas until he is forced to face The Plot anyway.

If only he use that brainpower of his to actually min-maxing everyone's development and improve Konoha! We would have backed him up if he is just a predictable OC that can be controlled!

Instead, Makoto had crippled Neji. Kiba has turned into an erratic werewolf. Hinata had quit the ninja force and focus on her clan management. Naruto and Sasuke does not have the same drive for power like in Canon. God knows what will happen if Rock Lee and Higurashi TenTen made contact with Makoto. So far, Makoto has the track record of ruining the Konoha 12 instead of improving them. Sure, everyone yap that Sakura is awesome now, but it's Sakura! Who cares! She's still useless!

Nara Shikaku connect to the Elder Brain. There is some damage but the Neurons can still run some calculations.

For the sake of The Plot to defeat the incoming Otsutsuki threat, should Makoto Hotaru be eliminated or not?

Processing

Calculating

Projecting

Makoto Hotaru has 97% chance of ruining the Narutoverse even further and lead to the weakening of Major Characters.

Makoto Hotaru must die.

Shikaku sighed. Of course, that is the most ideal solution.

But how do you beat Aizen in a game of wit?

"We need an Urahara.", Shikaku recalls from the Nara Neural Archive. The only character that surpassed Aizen in terms of intellect.

However, who's the one that has the intellect that can rival the Elder Brain.

Who's the one that has the same ability to control brainwaves?

Who is the one who is the master of illusion and storytelling?

Processing

Calculating

Projecting

Uchiha Shisui has 98% chance of winning against Makoto Hotaru in a battle of wit.

Shikaku mulled over the result. He remembers facing that terrifying Uchiha. One of the few in the 2000 years of Nara clan history that had defeated them in a battle of wit. The sole Uchiha that has harnessed the full potential of the Third Tomoe: Intuitive Aptitude. Makoto may have defeated Shisui's scheme to reenact the Uchiha Massacre, but that was before they had known of the Makoto variable.

With Shisui and the Nara clan joining together their intellect, even Aizen Hotaru can be outwitted.

Shikaku began to write a letter. It is time to reconnect with an old friend.

(((A/N)))

Oh Nara Clan, you have trapped yourself into the worst genjutsu in the world of intellect.

Confirmation Bias.