Scarred
Chapter 2
Lin got up from her chair two hours later, unable to fight the dizziness and urge to throw up any longer. She dragged her feet to front desk and asked for a leave application form. Yun looked up from his file.
"I was supposed to give you this by todays CoB". He said, taking an envelope from his desk drawer. "Chief mandated that you take this week off Lin".
Lin scoffed, despite herself. "I just need tomorrow off". She snapped at Yun.
"Hey, don't shoot the messenger, Beifong". He said, handing her the letter.
"Is she in?" Lin asked, sparing a glance at the closed door of Toph's office.
"Actually, Chief left already, Deputy Hu Tong is in charge until she returns". Yun said looking Lin in the eye. "She didn't look too good when she handed me your leave confirmation letter".
Lin sighed. She could not believe how disruptive Su has been to their family. Lin had never seen Toph cry like before. Despite her anger at her mother, Lin could not bear to see Toph act helpless or lost. "Did she say where she was going?".
"No". Yun replied, going back to his file. "Master Katara was with her when she left".
Lin pocketed the envelope and left the office. Leaving her armor at her personal locker, Lin took a taxi home. She silently went in, kicked off the boots, and fell on to the bed in her undershirt and cargo pants.
She didn't know how much time had passed when she finally woke up. Starving and dehydrated. The first thing she noticed was that she was not alone on the bed. Someone was cuddling her. Their right hand was under Lin's face, their chin was on top of her head. Lin could smell alcohol on Toph's breath, however subtle. She was asleep. Lin did not know when her mother came home or found her passed out on the bed. But the light outside her window said it was almost nightfall. She had been asleep for almost 5 hours. Toph's hold was gentle, but tight. Lin could not move without waking her up. She stayed still for another hour or so, not wanting to wake Toph.
When Toph finally woke up, Lin pretended to be asleep. She felt Toph gingerly remove her hand from under Lin's face, 'stare' at the general direction of Lin's injury, sigh, place a quick kiss on Lin's temple, and silently got off the bed. Lin knew how to deal with angry Toph, annoyed Toph, fun Toph, and the Chief. But she did not know how to deal with this scared and loving creature. The last time Toph cuddled Lin was when she was still a child. Barely 12, and sporting a broken leg.
She wanted to get up and get something to eat, but she didn't know how she can avoid Toph. So, she pretended to sleep on until Toph came into the room a while later, and gave her a gentle shake.
"Lin," she said, sitting down on the bed and placing a palm on Lin's forehead. "Wake up, I made soup".
Lin reluctantly opened her eyes and sat up.
"When did you get here?" She asked.
"Afternoon". Toph replied. "Your fever has subsided. You were burning up when I came in". She said moving her palm from Lin's forehead to neck.
Lin silently got off the bed. "I need a shower". She mumbled.
"Keep the wound dry". Toph said standing up as well. "Katara insisted. We are to go back for the next session tomorrow evening".
"I'm just fine". Lin said annoyed. She walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
"Keep it dry Lin", Toph shouted from outside the door. "I'm blind, but I can still check".
Toph heard Lin grunt in response.
After quarter of an hour, Lin showed up in the pantry wearing pajamas. Toph, who was buttering toast, put down the butter knife, washed her hands and padded them dry. She walked over to dining table where Lin was sitting, and before Lin could get away, she grabbed Lin's head with her right hand and very gently placed her left palm on Lin's dressing.
Lin still winced before she snapped. "Mom, what are you doing?" She asked leaning back to get away from Toph's left palm, which was on the dressing.
"Just checking". Toph said, letting go of Lin and going back to prepping dinner. "Are there any other cuts and bruises you have not told me about?" She asked as she placed food on the table, passed a bowl of soup to Lin and sat herself down opposite Lin.
Lin did not reply. She started to mindlessly stir the soup.
"I don't need the entire week off". She said after a while. "I'm just fine".
"Yes, you do!". Toph said cutting the crust off the bread and cutting them again in to small pieces for Lin. "It's not up for discussion Lin. Katara recommended".
"But-" Lin started.
"Stop fighting me BJ, please!". She sighed. Putting down the knife, Toph passed the bread to Lin. "You can get back to work, when Katara is sure you are completely healed".
"I don't know why you are making such a big fuss about this". Lin huffed. "What's gotten into you?".
"Why aren't you eating the bread?" Toph asked ignoring the question. "Not enough butter?"
"I can't". Lin mumbled reluctantly.
Toph leaned in over the table. "What's that?" She asked.
"I can't chew, okay?" Lin snapped. "It hurts".
"When was the last time you had solid food?" Toph frowned. Without waiting for Lin to reply, she went on. "This is why I'm making such a big fuss about this. I'm worried. I still can't get over the fact that you couldn't come to me even after you got cut across the face". She stopped to breath. "You are my kid Lin, whether you like it or not. This is the third time I truly felt my blindness. The first time was when you were born".
Lin stared at her mother. The uncharacteristic outburst was truly jarring. Somehow, Toph had managed to make her feel guilty.
She silently dragged the bowl of soup towards her and started to drink out of it slowly.
"I'm sorry". She said after a while. "I just couldn't".
"Was it Su?". Toph asked patiently. Lin did not reply. So, Toph got her answer. Lin saw her mother let out a long shuddering breath. She leaned over again and grabbed the bowl. "One more bowl". She said, standing up and going to the pantry top. "Your fever might come back; you need to eat while you can".
Lin did not reply. She watched as Toph put the tiny pieces of buttered bread in the soup before it was handed over. "Let it soak, and it'll be easier to eat". Toph said, finally starting to stir her own bowl of soup.
They finished the dinner in silence, and Lin could feel her temperature going up again. Her body was fighting the infection, and sure enough, her fever was coming back. "I think I'll go to bed". She said standing up. "I don't feel too well. I think my fever is coming back".
Toph stood up as well. She walked to stand next to Lin and felt her forehead. "Yeah. Go to bed. I'll get a cooling patch ready, just in case".
Lin did not argue. She went back to collapse on her bed and closed her eyes. Tonight was the first time she had a meal since the afternoon she arrested Su. The infected wound, lack of food, and living off milk and water for almost three days has finally worn her down. Her eyes fluttered after a while as she felt a sudden cold on her forehead. Toph was applying a cooling patch. "This will help". She mumbled, using her fingertips to smoothen the patch to cover Lin's entire forehead. "Stay under the blankets. The fever is going up". She drew the comforter to cover Lin's body up to her neck.
Lin woke up in the middle of the night, feeling so very thirsty. She heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen.
"Don't tell me to calm down, how can I possibly calm down?". That was her mother. "My youngest cut my eldest across the face and neither bothered to tell me".
"Toph, Su is a teenager, and Lin only just passed her teen years, it is difficult-". It was Aang. But he was cut in the mid-sentence by Toph.
"And I broke the Law, Aang". She said raising her voice to drown his. "How can I run the force, while covering up for Su's idiocy?".
"Shhh…! You'll wake BJ". Aang said. Lin heard a chair move and after a moment, he spoke again. "You did what any mother would do. I have been there since day one, have not I? I know the lengths you'd go to protect them. I would too. You did what you had to do. I would have done the same".
Lin heard her mother sniff. Then a silence followed.
"Toph, you gotta pull yourself together, come on". Lin heard Aang say after a while. "Lin is the toughest kid I know. She's gonna be okay".
"This time the damage is not just physical". Toph said thickly. "She's hurt in more ways than one. And it's all my fault".
"Stop it!". Aang growled. "It is not your fault. We are all trying our best. Do you know how crappy a father I am? Tenzin thinks Air nation is on his shoulders, Kya and Bumi think I am only interested in Tenzin because he's the only airbender. We've all made mistakes. We are all human Toph. Love does not shine through sometimes, but it does not mean it's not there. And the kids know. They know. But they are human too. So, they will take a shot at us every now and then. We have to be patient".
"I couldn't see Aang!" Toph said in the smallest voice Lin have heard her mother speak. "My baby almost lost her eye, and I didn't see. I want to see and know she's okay. I want to see".
Lin heard a chair been push aside and rustling of a robe. A second chair creaked, and then a muffled sob was heard.
"You can, and you have". Aang said after a minute. "You see better than any of us. You know she's going to be fine".
Lin stayed silent, torn between getting up and drinking some water, and avoiding the possible scene of Aang consoling her crying mother.
A while after, she heard Aang speak. "I'll drop by tomorrow evening to pick you two up for the healing session". He said. "Go on now, take some rest. Katara said you drowned yourself in soju this morning".
Toph's response was another sniff. Lin heard her mumble something after a minute, that sounded like 'Thanks Twinkle Toes'. Few minutes later, a door was closed, and the lock was clicked in place. And a gentle 'Yip Yip' was heard from distance. Aang must have taken off on Appa. Another 10 minutes passed before the lights on the living room went off.
Toph walked into Lin's room, and put a hesitant hand on Lin's forehead. Her hand stayed there for a while and slid down the left side of Lin's face. Her thumb gently graced Lin's face several time before she let out a sigh. Lin felt Toph's palm leave her skin, and she heard Toph walk out of the room, silently closing the door behind her.
Lin lay there for another fifteen minutes before she got up and off the bed. Without making any noise, she sneaked into the kitchen and got some water to drink. She was about to turn on her heels and go back to her room when she heard yet another muffled sniff coming from Toph's room. Lin sighed. She walked up to Toph's door and called. "Mom?".
"Lin? What's wrong?" Toph asked in a panicked voice. "I'm gonna be right there".
Opening the door, Lin went in. Toph was already at the door, her hand outstretched to grab the doorknob. "What's it, BJ?". She asked as Lin walked inside. "Is your wound hurting?"
"I'm fine". Lin mumbled. "Can I sleep here tonight?"
It was clearly not what Toph was expecting to hear. Lin saw how Toph 'stared' at the general direction of the sound of her voice before she stuttered. "Of course!".
Lin brushed past Toph to walked up to the bed and hopped on.
"Are you sure you are feeling alright?" Toph asked, getting on to the bed and pulling the comforter to cover them both. Lin rested the good side of her head on Toph's right shoulder and threw her right arm around Toph's Torso, and closed her eyes.
"I'm fine mom, I'm gonna be fine!". She mumbled.
Lin felt Toph let out a shuddering breath, and throw an arm around her, drawing her close. Toph's fingers started to run soothingly through Lin's hair. "Thank you for letting me see". Lin heard Toph say in an almost inaudible whisper, just before her eyelids dropped and she drifted into comfortable sleep.