A/N… This chapter kind of got away from me. It ran really long. I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom…
~oOo~
Chapter 8
The car's windshield wipers kept a steady rhythm as I made my way toward the cabin. I was coming back from Klamath Falls after running a few errands. September had rolled into October, and now November had arrived, bringing rainy days and chilly weather almost every day.
Instead of going to the family home to do laundry, I only went as far as the closest town with a laundromat. I actually hadn't been to Carlisle's house in almost two months, though I wasn't truly living with Bella full time either. Carlisle and Esme visited Bella and me several times, but my siblings hadn't been granted permission just yet. I wasn't sure when Bella would allow them back into her life.
I knew Alice was losing patience, but she'd been busy with other tasks too. The family decided to "kill" me in the eyes of Charlie and the residents of Forks. The deciding factor was that Alice had seen Charlie do an online search for me, so she started the process of putting together something believable.
After a long and shockingly calm conversation with Bella, she agreed that her father's tenacity and anger probably needed closure in order to let us go. As sad as it made her, she told me that it was probably the only answer. However, she still wanted to visit Forks to spark more memories. We hadn't gone yet.
In order for news of my death to reach the Forks Police Department, they staged a fiery car accident somewhere between Seattle and Port Angeles with a bottle of alcohol as an accelerant. Apparently, I was drunk, flipped the car, and everything burned beyond recognition, including a John Doe cadaver. Even my dental records were forged. Once Carlisle was called to identify my belongings – the car and a crispy wallet – and explain my recent emotional behavior as of late, there wasn't anything to contradict that Edward Cullen died in a ditch on the side of the road in a drunken stupor.
They used my BMW, and I bought something else, something more suited for the woods and projects at the cabin – a large, new truck. And in honor of Bella's old truck, I got it in a deep metallic red. She loved it. When she was ready, it would be hers.
Bella's birthday came and went without much said. She didn't want it celebrated, and the only present I gave her was another bracelet. After the third grass one snapped apart thanks to aggressive hunting and newborn strength, I finally made her one out of leather. Something simple that made her so very happy. And that's all I cared about.
I parked in front of the cabin, noting all the subtle changes since we'd moved her in a few months ago. The exterior was no longer the color of the tree trunks surrounding it but a soft cream with natural wood accents. We'd re-shingled the roof, added a stone pathway from the porch steps to the driveway, and expanded the porch, which now held two Adirondack chairs and a small table we'd made together. Inside was just as different – a new rug, freshly painted kitchen cabinets, a new TV, and more shelf space – though this time, we'd built a few bookcases instead of mounting them on the wall. I found that the more we built together, the more she'd allow me to spoil her a little with new things.
I frowned when I caught Bella's raised voice and angry thoughts as I gathered the laundry basket out of the backseat of the truck. No one else was there, so she had to have been on the phone.
Stepping into the house, I set the basket on the kitchen counter just in time to catch the phone when Bella launched it from the bedroom door.
"Fuck!" she snarled, jumping a bit when she saw me catch the phone before it hit me in the face. "Oh, sorry."
"The hell, Bella?" I asked, unable to keep a laugh from escaping.
I tried not to notice she wasn't completely dressed yet. She was wearing my T-shirt and what seemed like nothing else. However, her thoughts were still escaping the barrier of her shield, and she was clearly pissed off. I glanced down at the phone's screen, shaking my head when I saw that Alice's patience had run out.
"Alice called you?" I asked, wondering what my sister could possibly have been thinking. Or really, what she'd seen to make her think a phone call to Bella would result in anything other than the beautiful, angry vampire in front of me.
"Yeah, she said she needed to tell me something. Something she'd seen." Bella paced a bit, and I tried my damnedest to keep my eyes above those strong bare legs, but it was virtually impossible. "I don't care what she has to say."
I swallowed back venom, forcing myself to focus on the issue at hand. "C'mere," I said, guiding her to the chair and setting her phone on the arm. I sat down on the ottoman in front of her. "Let's hear what she had to say, and then we'll talk about why you're still mad at her."
Bella's face scrunched up, and her eyes – which were starting to change from red to a shade just shy of a warm setting sun – glared at me in betrayal.
"Stop it," I soothed softly. "I'm not your enemy. Just tell me what she said."
Bella sighed deeply, shaking her head a little. "She said that Rose and Emmett were out hunting, and the two of them made the decision to come here. She wanted to give me a heads up."
Smirking, I nodded. Alice could've passed that information on to me, but she probably decided to test the waters with Bella. I could understand. My sister missed Bella so very much. A part me wanted to help mend those fences, but I wasn't sure how well it would be received.
"Well, if they show up, you and I will deal with it." Before she could argue, because I could hear her opinion of Rose in her mind, I went on. "If you don't want to see them, then we'll leave or ask them to leave. Or you can kick their asses. You're stronger than Emmett right now."
Finally, a smile broke across her pretty face. "Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah," I said, practically singing the words. "As for Rose… Well, Alice saw you punch her nose clean off her face. So… maybe that's a lesson that needs teaching. I don't know."
"Nice, Edward." She scoffed, but a light laugh escaped her.
Chuckling, I gave her a wink. "Indeed." I reached for her hand, toying with the braided leather bracelet. "Please remember what Carlisle told you. They want to help you. And if they're breaking my promise to you by showing up, then that means they really just want to make amends. And helping you helps them remember why we choose the diet we choose. Make sense?"
"Even you?"
"Yes, Bella. Of course." I squeezed her hand gently and then reached up to touch her cheek. "I've guided them all over the decades, and it helped me keep to my own path. But nothing has been as rewarding as watching these eyes go from red to this stunning shade of deep amber. In a month or so, the red will be completely gone. I'm very proud of that and of you." I brushed my thumb lightly beneath her eye, smiling a little, because that was the damned truth.
Bella's temper evaporated, and her thoughts calmed just before they faded away. But a sweet, embarrassed smile curled her lips.
"Thanks."
"Mmhm," I hummed, tapping her chin lightly to get her to look my way again. "Now, let's talk about Alice." She frowned again, but I continued to my point. "Bella, if you're allowing this…" I gestured between us. "If you're allowing me, the one who has done the most damage, to be in your life, then maybe it's time to hear what Alice has to say. Maybe even Emmett and Rose too. I'm not telling you that you should, but I am asking that you think about it.
"My family, with all their faults, understands exactly what you're going through right now. All your struggles, your confusion, your acclimation to this new life and mind and body."
Even as I said the word body, my eyes traveled down and back up. I just couldn't fucking help it. I had no idea whether she knew how intoxicating she was fully dressed, but she was wearing just my shirt and what I could see now were simple shorts beneath it. I swallowed thickly, squeezing my eyes closed briefly.
Forcing myself back to the conversation, I added, "And honestly, of all of them, it's Emmett you should talk to the most. He's been where you are, of course, but after what happened on your birthday, he was your biggest ally, and you didn't even know it. He fought for you, threatened me, and pretty much offered to kick my ass should you merely ask him."
Bella cracked a smile. "Seriously?"
"Yes, ma'am. However, I've told him that you did just fine on your own. He'd like to see that." I grinned at Bella's laughter. "Just… think about it, Bella. Give them the same chance that you gave me. As far as Alice is concerned…" I sighed deeply. "I get why you're upset with her. I do. And you don't want to hear the excuse that I made her leave, but it is the truth, no matter how harsh it is or how far you and I have come. Why she didn't contact you, I don't know. I haven't heard her mind about it. I do know that as a family, we've made tough decisions before, and we all had to stick together for safety and security." I sat up straight. "Or maybe Alice saw something in her visions that prevented her from making contact, something that would've caused a chain reaction of events that she didn't want to happen. She's been known to do that. Again, you'll have to ask her."
When Bella's mind stayed silent, I knew she'd truly listened and she was growing as a newborn, because she wasn't so quick to anger.
"Now, you sweet thing," I teased, using the term from the song that had caused an explosion from her months ago. "What's on the agenda today?"
She glanced out the window, wrinkling her nose a little. "I'd say hunting, but I honestly don't feel like going out in the rain."
Bella was getting better at not only voicing opinions and feelings but also at making solid decisions for herself based on those opinions. We didn't talk about her time with Victoria much, but I knew Bella was admonished for simply stating an emotion or need. So, my goal was to let her make as many decisions as she felt comfortable making. About anything, at any time, no matter how minor.
"It is pretty miserable out there," I said, raking a hand through my hair, which was speckled with raindrops, and that only caused it to stick up every-damn-where.
Bella grinned and reached up to rake her fingers through it, and she did a much better job at taming it. I'd missed that so fucking much. The feel of it, the loving nature of it made me close my eyes to relish her hands in my hair for the first time in well over a year. It was the first time she'd opted to touch me since I'd found her with Victoria.
I opened my eyes to study her face, because her shield was shut. No thoughts. No anxiety. Her expression was serious and so very tender as she kept trying to calm my hair. Finally, I grinned at her giggle.
"It has a mind of its own," she muttered with a laugh.
"My whole damn life," I added. She sat back a little with an amused expression, and I smiled. "I've missed that."
"Me, too."
"You remember?"
She nodded. "The first time you listened to my heart. I was finally able to sink my fingers into it. It was way softer than I'd imagined."
"Do you remember where we were?" I prompted her, sitting up straighter, because this was a major memory for her.
"The meadow." Her eyes raked all over my face as she toyed with her bracelet. "I remember you were nervous."
Chuckling, I said, "Absolutely! I was about to reveal all the things about me that should've sent you running away. You were too pretty and way too damn calm."
Her laugh made her head fall back, but she scooted to the edge of the chair to get closer. "On the outside, Edward. Inside? Whole different story."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"What prompted this memory today?" I asked her softly, trying my best not to lean in and just kiss the ever-loving shit out of her.
Her smile was warm as she reached up to push her fingers through my hair once more. "Your hair. Something in me just knew. Like it was a habit or something I'd always done."
"It was."
We locked gazes, and the pause in the conversation made us lean closer.
The pull to her was becoming painful. My whole being ached to kiss her. Despite the fact that I didn't need to breathe, I still held my breath. I wanted her to lead all of this, but I simply wasn't sure if I could hold back much longer. Everything in me wanted to show her that I loved her, that I never stopped. I wanted to prove to her that it was never about not wanting her, because I did. I wanted her on a massive scale.
When she shifted closer, I wasn't sure what she aimed to do. "B-Bella?"
She leaned in farther, pressing the lightest, most delightful kiss to my cheek. "Thanks for doing the laundry," she whispered against my skin. "Did the little old lady flirt with you again?"
Scoffing, I rolled my eyes. "I'll have you know Eloise wasn't even born yet when I was turned. Let that timeline roll around in your head a bit."
Bella cracked up. "I can't," she said through her laughter. "I'm not sure I want to."
"Yeah? In a few decades, you'll start to see how that feels."
Her smile wavered. "Will… will you help me?"
No matter how many times I vowed I wasn't going anywhere, this inquiry popped up every now and then. It wasn't always a straightforward question; sometimes it revolved around a mention of a future thing like school or moving or even an upcoming event like a movie or concert. She'd simply ask if we could plan something or travel somewhere. The answer was always yes. Absolutely. My hope was that one day she'd understand that it would be impossible for me to leave her again. It was excruciating the first time; there wouldn't be a next time. It would kill me.
"Until the end of time," I whispered, locking gazes with her. "I wonder what it will take for you to believe me again." I wondered that aloud in a mere whisper.
Her mind's barrier slipped a little I caught words like fear and hope, but I also caught the words pull and want and handsome. I tried my damnedest to keep my face stoic, but this was truly the first time that her shield slipped and the escaped thoughts weren't all negative.
Reaching up, I cupped the side of her face and pulled her forehead to mine. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to keep myself in check, because it was all I could do not to close the distance and press my lips to hers.
However, different thoughts started to infiltrate my mind, and I could hear Emmett and Rose getting closer.
"Son of a…" I trailed off, opening my eyes to see Bella's confused gaze as she pulled back a little. "They're here."
Her brow furrowed as she backed away from me, and I tried not to notice when those beautiful amber eyes slipped down my face to my mouth and back up. It had been a long fucking time since I'd seen that; Bella wanted a kiss.
"What do I do?" she asked me in a whisper.
"Whatever you want."
A small, petty part of me wanted to set her loose on Rosalie as payback for years of shallow bullshit and endless arguments. Emmett would take it all in fun, but maybe Rose would understand how deeply her words and attitude had cut. Or maybe I was just pissed off at the timing.
I stood up in front of Bella, dropping a long, heavy kiss to her forehead. "You make the call, Bella. I'll go see them," I whispered against her skin. "I'll back you one hundred percent."
Bella nodded as she stood and walked to the kitchen, picking up the basket of clothes I'd set on the counter. She slipped into the bedroom and closed the door as I walked out onto the porch.
Leaning against the railing, I folded my arms across my chest. I was expecting Rose and Emmett, but I honestly didn't expect to see Jasper in the backseat of Emmett's Jeep as they parked behind my truck. It was a strange turn of events, and I wasn't sure what Bella would say to that.
Once all three caught sight of me, their thoughts started to bombard my ability left and right. Jasper's thoughts gave him away instantly. He was there on behalf of his mate, to apologize to Bella face to face, and offer her some insight as to what it was like to be the newest member of the Cullen family.
I huffed a laugh, shaking my head. "Here we go," I muttered to myself.
Bella's thoughts remained silent from me, and I could hear her shuffling around in the bedroom, so I assumed she was putting clothes away or getting dressed.
Of the three siblings approaching the porch steps, it was Emmett who had the clearest thoughts. He didn't hide much; he was who he was on the inside and out. Of all of us, he found the most joy in this strange life. However, at the moment, he was worried his mate wouldn't be well received for showing up uninvited.
"We knew," I answered him. "Alice called Bella."
"Oh, hell," Emmett said through a sigh, giving Jasper a side glance. "You're in deep shit now, bro."
"Actually, I don't think she mentioned Jasper was coming," I said with a soft laugh, looking to the brother in question. "How'd you pull that off?"
He gave his usual lazy half smile. "I simply do what I'm told."
Shaking my head at that, I glanced inside the house and then back to my siblings. "I don't know if she's coming out. I've left it up to her."
My brothers nodded in acceptance, but my sister couldn't stay quiet.
"Bella," she called softly. "Please come out. We… I'd like to talk to you. We all would. Please?"
I didn't move from my spot against the railing, merely turning my head to gaze inside the cabin.
"C'mon, Bella," Emmett called to her. "You've got to be ready for socializing with anyone other than Edward."
Grinning at that, I still waited. Their guilt and worry were magnified through Jasper, and really, they just wanted to see her. They'd been hurt that she'd allowed Carlisle and Esme into her life but still continued to shun them. On the other side of that, they understood why she'd shunned them.
"Shit," I heard softly from the other side of the bedroom door, but it clicked open.
Bella had redressed, putting on jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. She'd also pulled her hair up into a long ponytail. She almost looked human. Almost. Her strength and predator-like demeanor simmered beneath the surface with every step she took.
Emmett's face beamed with happiness, and he bounced on his feet. "There she is… my new baby sis!"
He was the perfect antidote for her nervousness. He melted her closed-off expression instantly. And he took her smile as an open invitation to scoop her up into a giant bear hug.
"Damn, I've missed you," he whispered, setting her back down on her feet. "You good? You need anything?"
"I'm okay, Emmett."
"Well, Esme sent you some shit anyway."
Bella chuckled. "Of course she did."
Emmett smacked my shoulder. "Come on, we'll unload this stuff. I think Esme robbed a bookstore."
"Oh, hell," I said through a sigh, but I checked with Bella, who seemed okay, so Jasper and I followed Emmett to his Jeep as Rose moved closer to Bella on the porch.
A tinge of jealousy emanated from Rose, because she saw Bella's beauty had only enhanced after her change. But when she remembered that Bella had been turned at the hands of Victoria, that it was against her will, Rose's expression softened completely.
"I'm… I want to apologize, Bella. For the way I treated you before… well, before everything," Rose said sincerely. "I'd say it was because I didn't know what you meant to my brother, but really, I was just being selfish. I'm sorry."
I froze, waiting for Bella's response, because her temper spiked a little. I caught a few thoughts as I slowly lifted a box out of the back of the Jeep, and my brothers glanced between me and the two women. Bella's head tilted a bit as she gave Rose a humorless smile.
"Not dead. And now… not human," Bella stated with a touch of aggression in her tone, gesturing up and down her body, and Rose flinched at that; she wasn't expecting Bella to know about that phone call. "I'm not the only one who you owe an apology. A real one."
Emmett's first thought was that Bella was defending me, defending her mate, but I wasn't sure Bella was even thinking that way. It just…was. She was doing it on an instinctual level. And just when I thought I needed to intervene, Rose nodded.
"I know. I need to apologize to you both. I'm sorry. I'm working on not being so angry."
"Me, too." Bella huffed a laugh, which made Rose smile – a real, true, genuine smile.
Chuckling a bit in relief that Bella wasn't going to snap on my sister, I lifted the box out of the Jeep and toted it into the cabin. Emmett and Jasper followed my lead, and we stacked the boxes off to the side in the living room.
"You guys have done a lot of work," Jasper pointed out, gazing around the place. "Looks good."
"Thank you," Bella said as the two girls joined us. However, she stopped cold at the sight of Jasper. Her anxiety kicked up a bit, and I could hear her thoughts.
It was the first time she was seeing him with her new eyes. His scars, his no-bullshit personality could set a newborn on edge. And she shifted on her feet a little. He radiated danger for an immortal who didn't truly know him.
He knew exactly what to say to her, though, along with sending a bit of calming emotion her way. He held up his hands in a surrendering gesture, saying, "Don't be nervous. I just… My apology to you is long overdue." He placed a hand on his chest. "If you'd allow me… Can we talk?"
He wasn't asking for privacy; to Jasper, that would've been improper. Bella was my mate, so to put her in a position that might make her uncomfortable was unseemly to him. And a small part of him wanted all of us to hear what he had to say to her. I had a feeling that small part was Alice.
He led her out onto the front porch, guiding her to one of the chairs. He took a knee at her feet and held her hand in his.
"I don't know how to even begin to apologize for my actions on your birthday, Bella. I don't. I need you to understand that you did nothing wrong. The blame rests upon my shoulders, okay?" he said softly. Through him, I saw her nod. "My hope is that one day you'll forgive me."
She chuckled a little. "I think I get it, Jasper. Like, now more than then. You know?"
He let out a soft laugh. "Yes, I suppose you have a different perspective now."
"Yeah, a bit."
"Right," he drawled, giving her a smile. "Well, I appreciate the grace you're giving me." He squeezed her hand and went on. "I'd also like to offer you some answers about Alice."
My eyebrows shot up, and I turned to face Rose and Emmett, who were as surprised as I was. It seemed Alice knew to send Jasper, and she kept it quiet. Or she'd seen that Jasper would be able to give Bella a chance to ask questions without emotions attached to them.
"As much as she wishes it different, Alice's talent isn't infallible," Jasper told her, standing up and leaning back on the porch railing. "I know you have questions for her, about why things happened the way they did, so I want to answer those for you."
Through him, I saw her fidget a little, lightly tugging on her leather bracelet. Her nerves were back, and her thoughts staggered in and out of my ability. A part of her feared his answers, but she met his gaze bravely and asked anyway.
"Did she… Did Alice see… well, any of this?" She gave a wide gesture around her and up and down her body.
Jasper smiled sadly. "Some. If you're asking if she saw what would happen on your birthday, the answer is no. Your papercut was an accident, so that wouldn't be seen in her visions. If you're asking if she saw Victoria come for you, the answer is yes and no. Victoria decided the best revenge for James would be to bring you harm, which was why Edward was tracking her originally. But she also made last second decisions, so Alice didn't always see her in time to do anything. Alice also can't see anything near the wolves or La Push. Because Victoria attacked you there, Alice was blind to it all."
"And Edward? Did she see when he decided to leave?"
I let my head fall back, letting out a deep sigh. Rose walked to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It was a comforting feeling, because her mind now understood why Bella was struggling.
"Also, yes and no." Jasper moved again to take the chair beside hers, but he sat on the edge of it. "Edward didn't truly make a decision until the last second. I can tell you his emotions ran the gamut – fear, anger, and heartbreak. Fear that something would happen to you as a result of knowing this family. Anger – at me, at what we are, but mostly at himself. And heartbreak, because that man had to shatter his own soul to do what he felt was the safest option for you." He smiled again, but it fell just as quickly as it appeared. "Believe it or not, Bella, our mates cause us to have tunnel vision. Any threat to them causes us to forgo rational thinking. You should understand that, because you were the one who ended Victoria before she could kill Edward."
Bella went quiet for a second or two, and Jasper's calming personality kept her at ease.
Finally, she met his gaze. "And why didn't Alice call me? She could've at least told me goodbye. Why didn't she… I sent her emails, left voicemails. She could've answered just one."
He nodded, gazing down at his lap briefly. "She almost did. She almost came for you. Every time she'd make the decision to make contact with you, the resulting visions were catastrophic. We lost you completely. We lost Edward completely. And losing Edward would break Carlisle's and Esme's hearts. The family would be destroyed."
Her confused expression didn't even need a question behind it.
"Bella, if Alice had contacted you, she saw you spiral into a depression that ended poorly. You never picked yourself up, had no friends, not even Jacob Black. Despite what he is, she saw his friendship was good for you. You would've wasted away waiting on my brother, who is terribly stubborn." His voice was teasing, but he turned serious as he went on. "She saw you die, whether by accident or simply of a broken heart, she wasn't quite sure. And had that happened, my brother would've begged for death. And it would've been me he'd come to, or the wolves, or even the damn Volturi. I can't… It would've killed me, Bella. The whole family would've been obliterated." He leaned closer to her. "Alice stayed quiet because to break that silence would've been the end of our family. You, darlin', now officially hold this family together."
"Whoa," Emmett said, barely out loud.
His shock told me that Alice and Jasper had been dealing with all of this – Bella, Victoria, and me – for a long time. Alone. Knowing my littlest sister the way that I did, she would've had to find someplace quiet to sort through every vision, every outcome. I knew her talent almost as well as she did, because I could see through her mind how she processed all of her visions. And Alice would've done anything to keep our family together, safe, protected.
Even if it meant avoiding her best friend until the safest time to approach Bella.
Jasper sighed deeply. "Alice will always try to keep this family together and safe, even if she has to hurt herself to do it." He nudged Bella a little. "The biggest benefit of this life is time. Alice knew you were struggling with memories, with forgiveness, with our diet, so she needed to allow time to pass until you were ready to hear just how important you are to us."
He leaned forward, whispering, "You're important to Edward, yes. Absolutely. But that connection to Edward now also ties you to every member of this family. And we're all a pain in the ass, Bella. Not even kidding. But the one thing we're good at is taking care of our own. Even if we fight and scratch through it."
Bella chuckled, which made Emmett grin and Rose let out a soft laugh. The latter was remembering just how stubborn Jasper Whitlock was when he showed up with Alice decades ago.
I snorted, glancing over at her. "Right?" I asked.
Emmett, though, sagged in relief. He hadn't been sure how this whole visit would go, but he was "stoked" that it went as well as it did. The three of us stepped out onto the porch as Jasper stood up from his chair.
"Now, I've been asked to invite you to the family home for Thanksgiving," he said to me and then turned to Bella when her curiosity spiked. "No turkey or mashed potatoes, but we do go for a hunt together. Sometimes we build a fire, and Esme likes to start decorating for Christmas. She likes all of her 'kids' under one roof for that."
Despite the company all around her, Bella sought me out with a worried look. But something else hovered in her expression. Something I couldn't quite place. Maybe she'd remembered something or maybe Jasper had put some things in perspective for her, but I knew she'd wait until we were alone to voice whatever it was.
"If you want to go, we'll go. Your call, Bella," I soothed her. "You can think about it and let Esme know your answer."
Bella nodded, and her worry opened up her thoughts to me. She wasn't sure, and that was okay. We'd talk about it before the holiday arrived.
"We'll get out of your hair," Rose said, waving my brothers toward the Jeep. Before she stepped off the porch, she turned to Bella. "This place is cute. You guys are doing a great job with it."
"Thanks," we both said at the same time.
Before Jasper opened the back door, Bella called his name, "Jasper… Thank you."
His grin was relief and kindness as he gave her a nod. He was glad she wasn't angry, that she allowed him to explain some things. And he was sort of in awe of her. As new as she was, she should've been out of control, all over the place, but she wasn't. He also realized that he'd underestimated her. Hell, we'd all underestimated Bella.
Once they'd backed out of the driveway and pulled away, Bella walked back into the cabin. I followed her in, closing the front door. She was in the bedroom, staring at the empty laundry basket.
Leaning against the doorway, I asked, "Bella? You okay? Were they too much—"
She spun to face me, and her expression was a mix between shock and some sort of understanding as she nervously fidgeted with her bracelet.
"You lied to me." It wasn't an accusatory tone; she was simply stating facts.
I opened my mouth but then snapped it closed when she stepped closer to me.
"The day in the woods at Charlie's," she clarified. "You lied because… you had to lie. You knew deep down that I was your… that I wouldn't just let you go… I would've fought you. I started to fight you…" She trailed off when I shook my head.
"It's not that simple. I lied, yes. But I didn't really know, Bella. I couldn't admit it."
"Like me," she said, and her brow furrowed a little. "Since you've been back, I couldn't… I didn't see it."
"See what?"
"Jasper said… he said that I killed Victoria because I couldn't let her hurt you. Because we're…"
"Mates."
"You're not going anywhere," she whispered, surprised by her epiphany.
"Nope." That answer came fast and easy. There was no lying now.
A weird thought crossed my mind as she took another step toward me. And another. I wondered for a split second if Alice had seen that my siblings' visit, specifically Jasper's visit would give Bella the chance to see all of this from another point of view. To connect the missing pieces of her memories with what we'd all gone through.
Bella was now right in front of me, and I felt like she was stalking me. Her eyes were full of determination and assuredness when she gave me an order I wasn't sure I'd be able to deny.
"Kiss me, Edward."
The last time she'd said those words to me was on her eighteenth birthday. She'd known then, she'd felt my pulling away, my turmoil from the events with Jasper and an insignificant fucking papercut. I'd accused her of being greedy, but then again, I was trying to protect my heart from what I'd already planned to do.
I would never do that again.
She was so sure of what she wanted that there were no escaped thoughts through the barrier of her shield. She was calm and I'd almost say curious, like she was testing something.
Like a kiss held all the answers.
Slipping my hand into the hair at the base of her neck, I slowly pulled her forward and paused to test myself. And to give her a chance to change her mind. When I realized that my strength, my mere existence didn't pose a danger to her any longer, I pressed my lips to hers.
I wasn't sure either of us was prepared for our reactions. The response was instantaneous and almost feral. Bella's hands slipped up my chest and around my neck, pulling herself up. Once she was wrapped around me, I pressed her roughly into the doorjamb of the bedroom. She wound her strong legs around my waist, slid her hands into my hair, and everything about her pulled me in.
Somewhere close by, I heard wood splinter and crack, but I didn't give a shit, because Bella's lips were parting. To truly be able to kiss her, really fucking kiss her, was indescribable. I'd always tried to protect her from my teeth and venom by keeping things as chaste as possible, but she wasn't having it now.
And she was no longer in danger from me.
She ripped my shirt somewhere in the back, and my own hands seemed to have a mind of their own, because one pushed us off the door as the other one slipped up her strong thigh to her sweet bottom.
The most amazing, "Ungh…," escaped her lips against my mouth, and I half-smiled as we landed on the bed. The laundry basket shot across the room, and the poor bed – the same bed I'd already fixed once – crumbled underneath us. The footboard was no more, and the bed was now elevated only at the head. I couldn't help but laugh. It came out breathy and mixed with a moan, because now I was settled between Bella's legs.
It felt better than I'd ever imagined. But even she started to laugh.
I pressed a few kisses to her cheek, down her jaw, and along her neck just behind her ear. Finally, I pressed my forehead to hers, smiling in spite of the mess we'd just created.
Both her hands came up to frame my face. "Yeah, now that I remember."
My eyes swept open to see her beautiful face. "Yeah?" I whispered against her lips, because now that she'd allowed it, I couldn't stop kissing her.
"Yeah."
"If I'd have known that, I would've kissed you ages ago."
Her giggle made me smile, but I swept my lips slowly over hers once more. "Before or after I ripped your arm off?"
"Because you ripped my arm off," I teased her, rolling to her side. She faced me as the poor bed shifted and crumbled further, which made us chuckle all the more. I kissed her forehead and pulled back to meet her gaze. "For the record, sweet thing, you weren't ready. And that's okay."
"I'm sor—"
I cut off her apology with a kiss – because damn it all, I'd missed it – whispering, "Don't. There's no need. I don't want one. You had to do what was best for you."
"You still love me."
"More than ever."
She smiled beautifully, reaching up to brush my hair off my forehead, but the bed finally gave up the ghost; the headboard gave a loud crack and the two of us bounced awkwardly as we hit the floor.
Her laughter meant everything. It was happiness and relief, like she'd been doubting her own mind and her own memories.
She sat up a bit, shaking her head at the destruction from the bed to the shattered doorframe. "Well, I guess we know what we're doing today."
Grinning, I fell back flat on my back trying to get my body under control – because neither of us were ready for that next step. That probably wasn't true, but the bed gave us a chance to pause. Maybe I was the one who wasn't ready. She wasn't upset about it; that's all that mattered to me.
I sat up, kissing the side of her head and then her cheek. "I guess we do."
~oOo~
A/N… See? Told you this ran long. ;) But for good reasons.
This story seems to be flowing well. I hope to start working on Oz again soon. I wanted to get these two on the right track – or really, on the same track. I'll do my best to get back to it. I should probably reread it.
Anyway, I'll see you when I see you – one story or another. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)