Elissa knew something was up with the way Varric had them sneaking around the battlements. The dwarf barely left his rooms or the hall throughout the day, and suddenly, he wanted her to meet someone in the corner of one of the quietest posts in the hold. Oh no, the man was definitely up to something.
"So when you said parading around might cause a fuss... you meant a fuss with Cassandra, didn't you?" she deadpanned, looking at the rogue from the corner of her eyes. The crafty bastard didn't even have the decency to blush, only shrugging and agreeing with the Inquisitor's assessment.
"I thought it would be better to get the answers and help from Hawkebeforethe Seeker had the chance to decapitate her. And me. Much harder to talk when your throat is no longer connected to your head, in my experience," he chortled as he waved to the lone figure waiting for their arrival. The woman stood up from her position, leaning against the wall and waved back to Varric with a large smile. Elissa could feel her heart start to race the closer they got; she was about to meetthe Marian Hawke—the Champion of Kirkwall.
Marian had hair as dark as Elissa's, but where the Inquisitor's hair was long and sleek, the Champion's was short and chaotic. It seemed as if she were cutting her hair with a dagger whenever it got too long, or perhaps she did not have the option to have someone else do it for her- being on the run and all. Elissa was surprised at how similar they looked; if someone had told her they were related, she would have believed them. Their eyes were the main difference; Hawke's were deep, warm pools of chocolate in contrast to her storm-hued irises.
It was hard for Elissa not to feel dwarfed by the Champion after all the stories Varric had told her throughout their adventure. The woman's towering presence did not help as she had to tilt her head back to meet her eye.
"Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall," Varric smiled as he introduced them. Hawke grinned down at him and shook her head disbelievingly.
"Or you know, Marian works too. I don't use that title much anymore. Never did, really," she said, extending her hand.
"Hawke, meet the Inquisitor."
"Or Elissa.Please, call me Elissa. Inquisitor just sounds ridiculous," she replied, happily taking the other woman's hand into a hearty handshake.
"I asked you here because I hoped you could share some friendly advice about our old friend Corypheus. We did fight him after all, in case you've forgotten in your old age," the dwarf jested, narrowly escaping a kick from Hawke.
"You're older than me, you little imp," she snapped, their easy friendship delighting their captive flashed a roguish grin at Elissa and apologised for their behaviour. It had been too long since their last meeting, and there were many insults they needed to exchange before they remembered they were adults and pretended to look the part. The Champion turned around and slouched against the wall, using her elbows to prop her up. Elissa was grateful for the casual manner in which the woman regarded her- no kowtowing, prayers or any expectation in her eyes to save them all.
Hawke looked out over the courtyard and watched as everyone hurried about, all vaguely worried about the future but moved without the weight of the world upon their shoulders. "You have one hell of an impressive view here, Elissa. It reminds me of my home back in Kirkwall. I had a balcony that overlooked the whole city. I loved it at first, but after a while, all I could see were the people out there depending on me."
"I completely understand," Elissa sighed, comforted that she was not alone in feeling overwhelmed by such unbelievable circumstances laid before her.
"How do you put it out of your head? For me, it was frequent visits to The Hanged Man, many games and many more drinks with good friends- especially those who liked to tell stories," Hawke said, offering Varric a grateful smile tinged with sadness.
Elissa joined Marian and propped herself upon the battlements, gazing at the mountains surrounding Skyhold. "I typically don't have much time to dwell on it. Somehow, every time I go outside, I happen upon something that wants to murder me. That usually helps me forget for a minute or two until the next forsaken thing pops up, trying to kill me."
Hawke threw her head back and laughed deeply, her nose scrunching as the mellifluous sound hung in the air. "Maker, sounds like a typical night in Darktown, aye Varric? Ahh, those were the days, indeed. Oh, and speaking of things that want to kill you- Corypheus. You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison."
"So it's true what Varric said? You've both fought Corypheus before?"
"One of the only true things the dwarf has ever said."
"Excuse me, Hawke, you'll find I'm usually very truthful. It's just that no one believes my truth until I add a little lie on top. Miniscule. Barely noticeable, really."
"Like when you told everyone in the pub that the mark can make me fly?" Elissa asked with a sardonic smile.
"In my defence, it looked like you could fly."
"Bull just got excited hearing there was a dragon in the Hinterlands and threw me in the air!"
"And it was due to your blessed mark that Tiny was even recruited. Hence, by the transitive properties of my storytelling- the mark made you fly."
"You're losing your touch, Varric. She's not known you a year, but she's got your act pegged," Hawke snorted, narrowing her eyes at him playfully before turning back to the Inquisitor. "But yes, Elissa, we fought and killed him. Or at least we thought we killed him. The Grey Wardens were holding him, but he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them."
"Corypheus got into their heads. Messed with their minds and turned them against each other," Varric added, peering over the battlements to ensure that Cassandra wasn't around the corner. "Sorry to say it, Stormy, but if it's true that the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again."
Elissa swallowed the groan of frustration building up in the base of her throat. She hated that Leliana was right to worry about the order's sudden disappearance. She had mentioned that her contact had not replied to her in months a couple of times already—she only hoped that it was a horrible coincidence and not anything more sinister.
"If that's what happened to the Wardens who have gone missing, is there a chance we can free them?" she questioned, hoping they already knew how to break whatever spell the ancient magister had trapped them in.
"It's possible. But we need to know more first," Hawke replied, not wanting to promise anything without understanding the situation; the last thing she wanted to do was give the Inquisitor false hope when there may be nothing to be done.
"Hawke, your brother. Have you heard from him?" Varric asked, concern apparent on his face.
Hawke nodded and smiled to ease his worry. "Don't get your dwarven panties in a bunch. As soon as I heard bad rumblings about the Wardens, I forced him off with Aveline to take him as bloody far away as possible and keep that idiot safe. Last I heard? They were near the Anderfels."
"Thank the Maker."
"Thank Aveline!"
"So Corypheus has the Venatori, the Red Templars, and now possibly the Wardens as well? Wonderful. That's wonderful. Please tell my advisors that I said something heartfelt and heroic before I threw myself off the battlements," Elissa joked darkly, pressing the heels of her palms into the sockets of her closed eyes.
Hawke chuckled and stood up, pulling down the Inquisitor's hands. The young woman looked up at her with the beginnings of an epic frown that reminded her of her sister Bethany when she was still a child, trying her best to behave but perilously close to throwing a tantrum. Hawke felt her chest constrict unexpectedly, and she cleared her throat to distract from the ache.
"Don't despair yet. Oh, Holy Glowing One, I didn't come all this way just to give you bad news."
"Was it so you could slap Varric over the head, for old times' sake?"
"Hey."
"That was the main reason, won't even deny it."
"Hawke!"
"I've got a friend in the Wardens. Thankfully he was investigating something unrelated for me. The last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the Warden ranks," Hawke explained.
"Is he the one that warned you about the disappearances? Did he disappear as well?" Elissa asked, her eyebrows furrowing with concern.
"No, he's managed to stay safe, but he's been on the run for a while now. He told me he'd be hiding in an old smuggler's cave near Crestwood and that I could meet him there. Hopefully, he'll know more about this to give us a better idea of what we're dealing with."
"That's amazing; I'll take any lead I can get! I really appreciate you doing this. You don't owe us anything, but you're going out of your way to assist us. You could be what helps us defeat Corypheus," the Inquisitor acknowledged humbly.
"Don't mention it; I'll do whatever I can to help. And you're wrong. That bastard is my responsibility. I thought I'd killed him, and believe me, I've never been wrong about killing something before. This time, I'll make sure of it," Hawke declared vehemently.
Without warning, she pulled the staff from her back and pointed it to the staircase behind them. Her instincts were so strong that she noticed someone imperceptible to Elissa. Not three seconds later, Sister Leliana turned the corner, amused at seeing a weapon aimed at her.
"Nice to see you again, Marian," she greeted with a knowing smirk.
Hawke laughed and dipped her head in salutation to the Spymaster. "Sister Leliana, it's been a long time. You look great out of the Chantry robes. How have you been?"
"Oh, this old thing, you are much too kind, Messere Hawke. Luckily, I can't complain too much, but please know we were so sorry we missed you when we stopped by in Kirkwall," she replied as she took her place next to Elissa, sitting up on the battlements with her as if it was just another lazy day in the Keep.
"Yeah, you just missed me, I heard. Such a pity, but no matter, you have someone even better than me to save the day. Worked out for everyone in the end," she said casually, yet still holding on to her staff tightly, ready in case the bard before her decided to attack.
"Calm down, Marian, we were friends once, were we not? We spent many a day tending to the citizens of your town and then all the displaced citizens during the Blight. I am not here to badger you or coerce you into the Inquisition. You are right; it worked out better for us. I only came up here because Cassandra is about to finish her training, and it will not be long until she comes looking for you, Varric," she chimed, like a little girl relishing in her sibling about to get scolded. Leliana and Elissa glanced at each other and snickered, knowing exactly how badly their companion would react to knowing that the damned Champion of Kirkwall was within Skyhold, right under her nose, and she was not able to get her grasp on her as she always vowed.
Hawke grimaced at the sound of Cassandra's name and rushed through her goodbyes, promising they would meet in Crestwood in a fortnight. She was about to run toward the entrance with Varric in step when she turned back for a final wave when she saw Elissa and Leliana chatting amongst themselves, the sight of them making her pause mid-step.
"Wait a second…It... It can't be, can it?" she said to herself, taking another couple of steps backwards, her eyes never leaving the two friends. "Hey, Varric, go and stand beside the Inquisitor," she instructed him, pointing at Elissa.
"Why? You gotta go before the Seeker comes here and uses our carcasses for her new weapons rack," he reminded her but was ignored.
"Just do it, man," she hissed, waving him towards them. "Quickly!"
Varric grumbled and did as he was asked and lifted his arms in defeat when Hawke stood and stared between the two women.
"My apologies, Inquisitor?" she called out, catching the younger mage's attention. "Do you mind hopping off and bending over as if you were speaking to Varric? Like you were talking to a little kid or something."
"What the hell, Hawke? Remind me why I keep you around?" he asked, half tempted to shoot an arrow at his smart-ass friend.
"Beats me, Dwarf. I've been telling you for nearly a decade to drop me," she barked, the tip of her tongue wedged between her teeth to stop her from laughing. Elissa gave her a confused look but completed the strange request nonetheless. She was unsure of the purpose but thought better than to question it.
"Well, I'll be!" Hawke amusedly crooned, putting her balled fists on her hips. "I thought you looked familiar! I just couldn't place it until Sister Lels and a kid were next to you!"
"I'm older than you, Hawke!"
"And don't you forget it," she chirped before returning her attention to Elissa. "I've been here trying to remember where the hell I've seen you before, and it was at Lothering! You were near the Chantry with Sister Leliana and a disagreeable-looking woman whose outfit scandalised my mother. You were handing out money to the hungry kids. We were on our way out of town to meet up with my brother, who was coming back from Ostagar. We wanted to get out before the darkspawn came. I remember seeing you around the whole day, helping everyone in the town… even with that crazy preacher walking around after you saying you were evil. Hey Sister, didn't you leave shortly after me to help the Hero of...shit.Shit! Of course! How could I have been so stupid? Elissa!You'reElissa! How the hell can you betheElissa?!" she exclaimed, incredulous at her revelation.
Elissa looked between Varric and Leliana, unsure of what the Champion was trying to convey.
"Marian, you really should go. Cassandra is on her way now," Leliana reminded her. "Let me show you out through the main gate. No one will stop you if you walk with me. It will be faster."
"You're right, thank you. Nice to meet you, Elissa. It is truly, bloody brilliant! Carver is going to shit a damn brick when I tell him! Varric, I'll write to you, and I'll see your team in Crestwood soon. Maker, I can't wait to talk to Alistair when I get there," she grinned as Leliana turned her about and hurried down toward the main gates.
Alistair.
Elissa could feel her head cloud over and grow heavy at the sound of the name. She closed her eyes, but instead of darkness, all she could see were the amber eyes that randomly made their way into her dreams. Was Alistair the warden friend Hawke had? Or just someone else she had planned to meet whilst in Crestwood? Was he safe? Did they need to send reinforcements before them to ensure that he was kept safe? Why was she so curious about this man just after hearing his name?
"Woah, Stormy. You're not looking so good there."
"Yeah, I'm not feeling so good either."
"Come on, let's get you somewhere a lot less high and a lot more warm. I'll probably survive Cassandra's wrath for lying about Hawke, but I'll never have peace from Sister Nightingale if I let you swoon and die from falling off the battlements. A Tethras only has so many lives, you know."
He didn't understand how it had come to this. It would have been humiliating if anyone had paid attention to him. Thankfully, everyone was too busy preparing for Blackwall's team to leave for the Storm Coast or the Inquisitor's to Crestwood to pay him any mind. They had all assumed whatever he was doing had to be in line with the preparations or stealing a moment away to recuperate before delving straight back into planning and fortifications.
He had no one but his conscience to berate him for heading back down to the hall when there was barely anyone left there, to sit at the table closest to the main hall's entrance to the kitchens, where one of the kitchen hands would see him and offer him a plate of whatever was left for his very late supper. He hoped no one would catch on that he would always arrive around the time the Inquisitor would head up to her quarters and always with a certain moustached mage in tow. At first, he thought nothing of it; he had been up there several times with the other advisors to ensure her lodgings were safe and unassailable. However, when he saw that Dorian had gone to her room each night since their arrival to Skyhold and rarely left until well into the morning hours, he could not help himself.
It was like putting himself through that kind of torture was enough to forget the sting of lyrium withdrawals. Cullen had stayed at the tables a couple of times to see when the mage would leave; it was hardly appropriate that a man visit a lady for so long unless... unless, of course, they were...
Maferath's bloody balls.
He promised himself he wouldn't care; it wasn't his business, and it certainly was not his place to even think about who the Inquisitor chose to warm her bed or stand by her side. All that mattered was winning against Corypheus; he was meant to focus on that. Not taking stacks of maps and paperwork to the main hall to pretend to look over as he ate, to see if the Tevinter would finally leave her rooms. Yet there he was, acting like a madman for the fifth night in a row.
An envious, foolish madman.
There was nothing to be envious about. The Inquisitor and he had barely spoken, and she and Dorian were always together, both mages and from noble houses. It made sense for them to fall into bed together, not that he thought about them being in bed together. Or her in bed at all. That would be entirely inappropriate and wrong and beneath him to think of her, his superior, in any other way than a professional capacity.
But Maker, did she look beautiful standing on the staircase yesterday. Her braid was lightly mussed, rosy-cheeked, and her lips stained from whatever wine or berry she just consumed. His troops always commented on her attire whenever she was in camp and how it clung to her just so- and he always made them run drills for hours as punishment. He had never taken the time to notice before, but recently, he found he could not stop noticing how snugly her beige trousers hugged her hips or how her jacket fitted around her waist.
Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Focus.Focus.He could not afford to be distracted. It would be shameful to give in to such baser thoughts, and it would make him unworthy of being her Commander. He shovelled the last bite of dinner and pushed his plate aside, pulling the maps and letters from his men out in the field. He would ensure that Elissa, the Inquisitor, would get to and from Crestwood without a hair out of place. He could not keep her safe in Haven; he would be damned if anything happened out of plan when she ventured to meet Hawke's warden friend. He had half a mind to join them to make sure.
A letter from Harding about Crestwood caught his eye and he skimmed over it quickly, knowing the scout would not leave anything of note out.Undead everywhere. Red Templars. Wolves. Highwaymen took Caer Bronach?That was a legendary keep that the townspeople would flock to for safety. It would be unconscionable to allow those criminals to remain in such a stronghold whilst everyone else suffered. He took the map of the area and saw that it was in a great location. If the Inquisition were to have any camps there, that would be the best place to house their growing forces. They could do so much more good for Thedas.
His idealistic thoughts were interrupted by a familiar laugh across the hall. Dorian and Elissa had come down from the library, arm in arm, chatting away and utterly oblivious to anyone else. They made their way—quite boisterously—toward her chambers, making no effort to hide their intentions. The Tevinter paused at one of the tables, found a new bottle of wine yet to be returned to the cellar, and promptly stole it for their use.
They didn't take glasses, so they must drink directly from the bottle. Or from each other's mouths. Whatever they do or do not do is none of your concern! Focus.Focus. She is a grown woman who has made her choice. Focus. Crestwood. Undead. She has not moved his hand from her lower back. Focus. Highwaymen. Would she look half as happy on his arm as she did on Dorian's? Andraste's Grace, get a grip, man!
Cullen watched them laugh again as Elissa took some fruit and bread from the table, the plate knocking loudly against the fine wood. Dorian caught the Commander's eyes upon him and raised his arm with the bottle of wine in the air to greet him, a large grin across his face. The mage winked at him cheekily and then slapped the Inquisitor on the ass so hard it loudly echoed in the great space.
"Come on, Love. Time for us to go to bed; I can't have you keeping me upallnight now, can I?" he drawled, eyes still fixed on Cullen, his smile deepening—bloody Tevinter bastard.Elissa complained about the sting in her ass cheek, and Dorian threatened to even it out by smacking the other one if she didn't hurry up. She scoffed, and Cullen waited for her to put the man in place or freeze him to bits but was left bitterly disappointed by her response.
"Promises, promises, Master Pavus."
Damn that smarmy mage.
He couldn't help himself. He watched them both enter her chambers, keeping his eyes on the door, hoping the Inquisitor would kick out the necromancer.
"Cullen."
"Yes!" he half yelled, face burning with embarrassment at being caught staring after the Inquisitor and her lover. He looked up to find Cassandra with a frown adorning her face to match his own. She wordlessly gestured toward the seat opposite him, and he nodded immediately, cleaning up the space so she could sit down more comfortably.
"No need, Commander, let me help you. Let me do something to keep my mind busy and my hands well away from the dwarf before I change my mind and murder him," she growled, drawing half of the maps closer to her.
He had heard of her reaction. In fact, the entire keep heard her reaction to finding out that Varric had been lying to her for months and made a fool out of her for believing his story.
"It is not your fault, Cassandra," he said kindly. "The man spins a wonderful tale. Even the best of us could not know the truth from fiction."
"Yes, the Inquisitor was quick to remind me of that," she replied, her shoulders slumping, "but she was also quick to side with Varric and protect him from me."
"Was that before you threw something at him? Or after you took a swing at him?" he asked playfully, his smile almost wavering at the baleful glare the Seeker sent his way.
"After."
"Ahh, well ... you do cut a rather imposing figure when you're in the midst of battle; she must have felt sorry for the man," he reasoned, knowing he, too, would have appreciated a human shield in between him and Cassandra on the warpath.
"Enough of this- tell me what you are working on so I may distract myself from my failings and shame," she said, dark eyes scouring the maps of Crestwood between them.
"I was just reading this missive from Harding," he said, passing the letter for her to read. "It appears that Caer Bronach has been taken by highwaymen, leaving the poor people in the town defenceless."
"Caer Bronach? I've been there once; it was a marvellous keep. It is not right that it has been reduced to nothing but walls for those dregs to hide behind," she sneered, thinking about the incredible fort going to waste under their control. "We should do something when we're there, but if there is a whole Keep full of people to defeat, it seems like a risky venture for a small team, especially with Elissa in tow. In between running into Red Templars and the undead, it will be a great task to stop that madwoman from running into the fray first. Do you know the first time we were in the Hinterlands, she thought she could take on a Templar enforcer alone? She had a black eye for ages, but she took the bastard down."
Cullen nodded sullenly, agreeing with the Seeker. "It seems she does have a penchant for doing foolhardy things. But so far, it's all worked out in her favour, so we can't be too upset." He thought for a moment before running his initial idea by her. "Regarding the Keep, though, how about we send some of our more seasoned troops to travel with your team? They could support you all and help take Caer Bronach."
"It could work. But how do we keep it out of other greedy little hands after we take it?"
"We take it, and we move in. Take it under the banner of the Inquisition and use it as one of our strongholds. It will remain open for the people, who can come in for safety and perhaps even trade there. Let the town use it as intended," he answered quickly. "After setting up Skyhold, I do not doubt that getting Caer Bronach up and ready would take me no time at all. The hardest part would be securing supply lines out there, but with our contacts and connections and only being under a few days' ride from Skyhold, it would not be difficult to complete," he thought out loud, unconsciously ticking off tasks he would theoretically need to do to fortify the hold.
"You should come then," Cassandra said simply. "Do not look so surprised, Commander; as you said, you could get that fort up and running faster than any of us with what you have accomplished here and at Haven. We would be remiss not to have you come out with us and a small contingent of soldiers."
"No, I couldn't. I shouldn't. My place is-"
"Wherever it is needed. The change of scenery may be good for you... unless, of course, you do not feel physically up to it. If that's the case, it is not a worry; we can take the Keep at a later-"
"N-no, it's fine. I was just taken aback, is all. I had somehow forgotten that, as Commander, I should also venture beyond the camp's walls. In truth, you are right; being able to step away and focus on something else would do me good."
The Seeker arched a brow in question and cocked her head to the side. "A copper for your thoughts, Cullen? Something I can help with?"
He cleared his throat and waved both hands fervently in front of his reddening face. The last thing he wanted was Cassandra to look at him with sad, pitying eyes, thinking he was a heartbroken fool helplessly daydreaming over their Inquisitor. His fellow advisor looked at him with scepticism but, at his insistence, dropped the topic, much to his relief.
"It is late; we both should sleep and make the necessary plans together tomorrow. I'll come by in the morning after training if that works for you, Cullen?"
"Oh, yes, that will be fine. I have to attend some drills tomorrow, but it should be done well before you normally finish," he responded with a spark of excitement in his stomach, fluttering about like small butterflies at the idea of travelling with the Inquisitor and her companions again.
"Perfect. Do not dally here, Commander; the Tevinter will likely stay the whole night or retreat in the early hours as he normally does."
"I- I wasn't- I don't know... I'm not waiting- I'm..."
"Besides, he will be leaving for the Fallow Mire in the morning, and you will be able to keep our Inquisitor company throughout our journey to Crestwood."
"Truly, Seeker... you assume much and I... I have no idea-no intention-"
"She doesn't smile at the Tevinter like she does at you. Goodnight, Commander," she said with a curt nod as she walked away without glancing back at him.
Cullen sat at the table, scoffing at the interaction and brushing it off as Cassandra looking too deeply at something that wasn't there. Her wishful, romance novel-loving heart saw something that could never be, fanning the flames of a hopeless situation. Listening to her would do him no good; it was bound to be trouble and only end in disappointment— mostly in himself.
Still.
He looked back to Elissa's door. Locked and with the both of them up there, alone and most likely drunk on the fine wine and each other's company. The idea left a bitter taste in his mouth. He let his eyes fall back down to the map and the small marking upon Caer Bronach. Five days journey there, five days journey back. Perhaps a few days together within the keep. She would be sad without the Tevinter's presence by her side; it only stood to reason that he would try to cheer her up for all that time. If she decided to grace him with a smile or two... Maker. He should not have listened to Cassandra.
Elissa woke up to an empty bed, Dorian most likely creeping out before everyone woke up to prepare for his adventure to the Fallow Mire. No doubt to ensure his pack was filled to the brim with clean jars for samples, books to read whenever he got bored and his assortment of soaps, creams and butters to keep him smelling and looking wonderful. He had even more than her, and his pack was always heavy even when they couldn't take the horses, insisting they were necessities as much as his water skin or food. There was no reasoning with him.
She washed quickly and made herself presentable for breakfast, knowing the hall would be a buzz with most of the Inquisition gathering for their morning meal. She hoped that she did not sleep in too late and squandered the last moments she would have with Dorian for at least a month. She wanted to share breakfast and wish the rest of the team well on their adventure without her. Elissa pouted. She knew it was logical for teams to go out and complete things she could not do, but she felt responsible for them. She believed she should be out there for every fight and close every rift as soon as possible instead of having to pick and choose. She wanted to speak to the Templars too, and maybe if they had, they wouldn't have been out there working for Corypheus- but she was only one person; it was impossible to do it all. She could not fight every fight, nor could she win them all.
Thankfully, she spotted her favourite Tevinter mage seated at one of the tables surrounded by The Chargers and Bull. Sera and Blackwall sat with all four of her advisors, a rare sight for them to be in one place together that was not the war room. Blackwall was conversing deeply with the Inquisition's ambassador; her face flushed a pretty pink as she replied to him.She would not tease her; She would not tease her; she was definitely going to tease her.Elissa threw her arms around the hulking Qunari's shoulders, her fingers unable to link due to his considerable breadth. He looked down at her struggle to bring her hands together and chuckled deeply.
"You need some help there, Boss?"
"Urgh! It's no use; your cleavage is too big for me to hug you properly."
"I wish I could say I was sorry about that, but mypecsare a wonder to behold," he replied, motioning his chest. Elissa let her lower lip droop as she rested her chin on his shoulders. The hulking man was so tall that even seated, she did not have to bend down to do so. "Haha, what's with the sad face, Boss? You wanna touch? Feel free."
Elissa playfully smacked him but returned to her previous position, and she started rocking side to side as if they were dancing gently. "Now you have to promise to look out for him, Bull. Dorian is my precious little Altus, and I will not have his perfect body come back completely battered and bruised. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Boss, but that's really up to what he says about it," he grinned toothily, craning his neck to look her in the eyes. "You going to give him the same warning about me? Will he have to make sure I come back in perfect condition?"
"Of course not. As if anything could make a dent through all this?" she said quietly, giving him the best squeeze she could. "And maybe... try to ensure your tent flaps are completely shut. You'll never hear the end of it if Sera walks by and sees you two."
"In my defence, Boss, you did not knock when entering Dorian's room," Bull snickered, enjoying the menacing look the moustached mage gave him. "It's not my fault you got an eyeful of all of this."
Elissa nodded regretfully and moved toward Dorian. She slipped her arms under his to cuddle him from behind, and she had much more success than her effort with Bull. "You are right. I will always be sure to knock on my friend's doors, no matter the time of day. Even when he invited me to come by then, and you both just happened to lose track of time and decide to flash your bits at your poor Inquisitor. Whilst I am sad that I will no longer be able to monopolise as many of Master Pavus' evenings as often as I once did, I was probably taught it was good to share."
"I am neither a toy nor a pet, Inquisitor," Dorian snarked, pinching her arm lightly, his smile belying his words.
"Hush, pet," she said, nuzzling into him and mussing up the side of his hair, earning her a comment made in Tevene that she knew she would have to learn, the insult so melodious it could have been a Chantry verse. She embraced him tightly and moved from side to side in much more dramatic arcs than she had with the horned warrior sitting across from them.
"Inquisitor – everyone can see," Dorian reminded her, his voice low.
"Let them see," she declared, uncaring of their audience. "We do not comment on their bedfellows, their jests or how they choose to show their affection for each other. I will not be restricted by what they believe their Herald of Andraste or Inquisitor, or whatever other title they throw at me, should be defined by. Behave like. I am whoever I choose to be, no matter the role they ask me to play, and they will either accept it or remain silent. There are no other options," she declared loud enough for the surrounding tables to hear, knowing full well that it only took one person for any news to spread amongst the ranks.
"Ahh, that is Vivienne's work right there. A speech right out of her mouth that is," Dorian tutted, patting Elissa's hand fondly. "Now, dear Elissa, go have some breakfast; our team is not set to leave for a couple of hours yet. Come say farewell to us at the gates." The man pulled her down, pressed his cheek against hers, and kissed the air as a warm dismissal, the mage obviously invested in eating well before his journey. She gave him one last squeeze and practically skipped to the free seat next to Leliana, chirping her morning greeting to the Spymaster. Elissa greeted everyone and smiled brightly at the Commander, who seemed to be in a sour mood. She supposed she could not blame him; he had been working non-stop since their arrival and had seen him pouring over his work the last few days, even during his dinner, but she never wanted to distract him lest she prolong his day.
"Good Morning, Commander," she said, hoping that she could make his day a little cheerier. Maybe she could even help him later and take something off his plate.
"Morning, Inquisitor," he responded in a clipped tone, his tight smile not convincing anyone.
"Did you not sleep well?" she asked, hoping to encourage a conversation.
"I admit I did not sleep very much last night. I was up quite late finalising plans and then up early to help with training the soldiers," he said, barely looking up at her. Goodness, had she done something to annoy him? She decided not to poke the metaphorical bear so early in the day and turned to Leliana to confirm her plans.
"... and don't forget, you must come to my chambers tonight," Elissa said after swallowing a not-so-small bite of pastry.
Leliana beamed and nodded, wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin before responding. "I know, Elissa, do not fret. I will be there, and I will come bearing gifts. One of the famous Montilyet reds to share," she tittered, her happiness easily removing 10 years off her still youthful face.
"Oh, don't let Dorian know that; he will be far too envious," Elissa said sneakily. "He will force me to get a bottle for him as recompense for his many services to me," she laughed, not noticing the colour of Cullen's ears growing deeper. "Although, the man may have a point. I did walk in on him and Bull, and because he's had to stay with me all these nights, I've kept him from his newly formed dalliance. Maybe I can buy a bottle from Josie for them to share whilst on their way to Crestwood!" she brightened, her grin widening.
"Oh, is that why you suggested Dorian as the mage for the team? To give them more time for their new relationship to flourish away from prying eyes?" Josephine asked, leaning in conspiratorially. "Tell me everything. If it is for love, I will gift the couple a bottle. I would never dream of charging my friends, let alone the Inquisitor!"
Cullen took a long sip of his tea as he tried to process all the information between those seated at their table. Not once since the Tevinter's arrival had he ever thought that their time together was spent platonically. They were so touchy and always huddled away together, whispering about things that no one else was privy to. He wanted to hit himself for being so simplistic. She already told him of her struggles, how Dorian was the only one who truly understood because he was with her then.
Who else would she turn to? Speak to? Stupid, stupid!
"... based on our preliminary discussions, we should be able to move out within the week."
"Oh, that's great. If Hawke is on foot, it should take her just over a week to get to Crestwood. However, she will still need to keep a low profile, so we should account for that, possibly extending her journey time."
"We need to do something before meeting back up with Hawke. We need to clear out Caer Bronach, a fort we will take for the Inquisition and give back to the people of Crestwood. Reports sound they are in dire need of it," Cassandra advised, filling her in on their plans for their upcoming quest.
"Oh yes, I see. Certainly, if we're lucky, we can get that done in a day or so and get back on our way."
"Do not worry, Commander Cullen and some soldiers will be coming with us to assist in the battle and transition under our banners," the Seeker said with a noticeable smirk on her face, the quickest flick of her eyes to his confirming that she was doing it all on purpose. "Their presence will make all the difference, I am sure."
Elissa looked between Cassandra and Cullen, dumbfounded but happy nonetheless. Having his skills with them on and off the battlefield would be a great boon. The fact that she got to travel with him and have reason to be closer to him was just a bonus- it would be the best time for her to wheedle out the name of the lucky person who had managed to catch his eye. She could curse them into the void and continue to think naughty thoughts of him on her lonesome until she could move on from her silly infatuation.
"I look forward to having you join us, Commander. Perhaps you can continue your lessons on using a sword together?" she asked, internally slapping her forehead at the unintended innuendo.
Cassandra tried her best to hide her snort at the bottom of her cup. She finished her water, stood up, and left the table without saying a word. She managed to make it to the door of the undercroft before she let out a bark of laughter, closing the door firmly behind her. Cullen cast his eyes upon Leliana who did not bother to hide her amusement,
Josephine and Blackwall doing their best to cover their grins behind their napkins and Sera. Blasted Sera. The damned elf was clutching at her sides, her head resting on the table as fat tears rolled down her face.
"Would ya take a look at his face? He's redder than the tomato on my plate; he is! Aww Cully Wully! The Quizzy wants to play with ya sword; better drop them britches and let her grab hold then!"
Elissa prayed for the patience to keep her from freezing her comrades.
"Sera darling, do shut up now," Vivienne said, walking over and pulling her up from her prone position at the table. Elissa looked up to her ivory-clad saviour and wordlessly thanked her, the First Enchanter of Montsimmard acknowledging her knowingly.
"Oi, that mage bitch zapped me!" Sera squawked, rubbing her tingling arms. "Next time we travel together, she's getting leeches in her bedroll!"
"I... I honestly just meant melee lessons," Elissa winced, shooting him the most apologetic look she could muster. Cullen smirked and laughed through his nose, doing his best to ride through the uncomfortable situation- of course, it had to happen to him, and of course, it was in front of their closest companions.
"Of course, Inquisitor, I would be happy to assist as best as I can."
"Pfft, I bet you would be! Lady Flashy Bits is one of the fittest girls I've ever seen. Who wouldn't be happy to have her flash her bits? OI! VIVI, I KNOW THAT WAS YOU AGAIN!"
She smiled earnestly, relieved that he wasn't upset at being the butt of her accidental joke. His mood seemed to have lightened considerably than when she first joined the table. She let herself believe that her little verbal faux pas helped to make his day a little better and let her smile grow as she held his gaze. Cullen took another sip of his tea, trying to keep his grin from widening. Did she smile at him differently? Did she always seem so brilliant and full of life to everyone, or did she happen to glow more around him? Could Cassandra be right?
The Commander set his cup down and was about to excuse himself when he sensed the distinct feeling of someone staring at him. Honey eyes met deep blue. The Spymaster fixed him with a stern look, her lips forming into a thin line as she glowered at him. He could practically hear what she was saying to him in her mind:Do not even think about it if you want to live.
"Are you finished with breakfast, Commander?" she asked, her voice telling him that he surely was now, even if he wasn't before. "Fantastic. We need to go over some things before you attend to your other duties. Do you mind joining me in the war room?"
Elissa had picked up on the words war room and hurriedly went through eating to follow her advisors, automatically thinking she would be part of the briefing.
"Oh, no need to rush, Lissa; eat and enjoy your breakfast. Blackwall and his team will not be far off from leaving, and I'm sure you will want to spend as much time with them before they do; the Commander and I will not be long anyway. Just some general housekeeping things," Leliana said, motioning for the Inquisitor to stay seated.
"O-kay?" she replied, shifting her eyes between the two standing advisors. "Call for me if there's something I can do to help."
"Of course, Inquisitor," Cullen said, offering a slight dip of his head as a sign of respect and deference before leaving the table.
They walked in silence until they reached the safety of the war room. Leliana, to rein in her thoughts, and Cullen, to not stammer apologies nonsensically; he hadn't done anything wrong!
Cullen closed the door behind them and watched the Spymaster walk around the table, her fingers tracing around the fine wood of what once was a great tree. He had seen her do this a few times since joining the Inquisition, and each time, it was when she was going to say or suggest something unpleasant.
"Sister Leliana, I am unsure of why you called me here today-"
"I very much doubt that Commander Cullen," she replied with a small smile laced with pity etched on her face. "You know exactly why I wanted to speak to you today."
Cullen let his head fall back and groaned quietly. Leliana was worse than a father protecting his daughter's virtue- and he wasn't even trying to do anything untoward. Maker's breath. "I am sure that I do not. If it had to do with the Inquisitor's little joke earlier, I am not upset or resentful. Now if that is all-"
"Do you think I am trying to keep you from her, Commander?" she asked blankly, both hands tented against the table surface.
"I do not pretend to know what you are trying to do here, Leliana," he said exasperatedly, crossing his arms against his chest.
The Spymaster sighed and closed her eyes in frustration—from him or at herself, he could not be sure—but he watched her as she inhaled deeply to gather herself. Finally, she opened her eyes, and they were softer than before. Genuine affection for him shone through instead of what previously appeared to be disapproval and judgement.
"I have no quarrel with you, Cullen," she said plainly, knowing the man standing before her did not like to mince words or play the game. "And you must know all I want is for Elissa to be safe and happy. Her happiness is important. I know this, I do," she emphasised, with a light press of her palm against the table. "But so is yours."
"Mine?" he asked incredulously, unsure where the woman was trying to lead the conversation. "I am perfectly fine, thank you, Sister."
Leliana cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows together, her mouth forming a small pout as she regarded him. Looking at him like he was a sad, pathetic schoolboy who had fallen for his teacher and found out it could never be between them. "I wish nothing more for you always to be happy, Cullen. However... lately, it seems that your happiness hinges on the shoulders of our esteemed leader."
He knew this was where she was going.
"I am not doing-we are not doing anything inappropriate,"he bit out, his defences rising immediately.
"I know, I know that. Please let me finish," she said in a softer voice, raising one hand to show him she meant no harm. He huffed out a short breath but nodded his agreement for her to continue speaking without interrupting her. "We all see the looks you two share. The moments that pass by you both, and it is true, you do make her happy."
Cullen could feel his heartbeat speed up at the idea that the Inquisitor could really feel the same way about him. However, he knew that Leliana still had more to add.
"But... you do understand who she is going to meet in Crestwood, do you not?" she asked, her mouth falling into a deeper pout. He shook his head and shrugged.
"Is this a trick question? She's going to meet Hawke's warden contact, of course."
"And do you know who that is?" she questioned, waiting for half a minute for him to answer, looking more and more miserable the longer he did not say anything. "Oh, Cullen."
Cullen could feel the last of his patience start to ebb away. "Who is it, Leliana? Please just say it so we can continue on our way."
"Cullen. It is Alistair. Hawke's warden contact is Alistair. You remember him, right? He is one of the wardens who helped us end the last Blight."
Fuck.
"...Does... does she know? Does she even remember him? Have you told her?" he asked, the words just coming out of his mouth against his will. Leliana shook her head sadly.
"But shouldn't you? Is this even fair to her? Do you realise you are potentially sending her out there to get hurt? She could have another episode but this time in bloody Crestwood and days away from Skyhold!"
"Solas will be with her."
"That doesn't make it better, Leliana!" he snapped, finally walking to meet her across the war table. "You know she has such limited knowledge of who she is and relies on you to give her insight, and you're sending her there with nothing. It will be lucky if she remembers him and everything falls perfectly into place, but we have not been so lucky thus far. It is far more likely that she will be in pain, fall unconscious, and your other friend's heart will be broken again- Maker's- does he evenknowabout her? Does he still believe her to be dead?!"
"I sent out letters, but I have not heard back from him."
Cullen ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath from his mouth, flabbergasted. He suddenly wished it was just a simple 'stay away from my friend' conversation and not whatever it had evolved into.
"I asked you here not to ward you off or tell you what you can and cannot do. I'm not trying to be needlessly cruel to you. I just... I don't know what I should be doing in this instance. Do I scare you off so she can get back together with Alistair? The man who has never stopped loving her since the day he met her? Or do I encourage you to continue with whatever is starting between you so you both can have a good, clean start? What is the right option here, Cullen?" she asked frankly, a moment of vulnerability shining through.
"How about this? I will not do anything to forward anything on my end, just as I have been all this time. I am her Commander and friend, nothing more and nothing less. I will defer to her to tell me what she wants; I recommend you do the same," he replied honestly, unsure if he had just undercut himself.
He was no innocent schoolboy or great romantic like Cassandra, but he wasn't so daft to stand in the way of the man she once loved. All of a sudden, the idea of spending a month by the Inquisitor's side sounded like the sweetest and masochistic form of torture he could imagine. But at the very least, he would have something other than his slowly worsening lyrium withdrawal to think about. Lovely.
Leliana agreed; of course, she did. She had given Alistair a chance by making sure that Cullen would feel honour bound to stay as he was and not play his hand with Elissa, and give her old friend an equal shot to reclaim the heart that once belonged only to him. She could do no more than that. Leliana, of course, could not account for one stray factor, and that was Elissa herself. If she decided to be with Cullen before she could reconnect with Alistair again, not even the Maker himself could stop her.
Dearest Sister Leliana,
I apologise for the delay in my reply. I went to Kirkwall to review what our continued assistance has amounted to. I am happy that the city is slowly returning to life. I am proud that Highever has played a pivotal role in helping our neighbours across the Waking Sea get back to their feet. I have only now received both missives from you, and I am truly sorry to hear of Haven's loss and that of the people who fell during the attack.
I must admit, however, that I was not expecting a letter from you, at least not until the anniversary of my sister's passing. So imagine my surprise to see one of your ravens in our rookery so much sooner than expected. What was even more of a shock is that you are trying to claim that Herald of yours, or Inquisitor now, as Elissa. I will not lie; we have heard tales of this marked woman who bears a resemblance to my late sister and even reports that she shares the same name- but we put her body on that pyre, Sister; her ashes are in my family's crypt, and I go down there every day and pay my respects to the family I have lost.
And yet. I cannot tell you the maddening hope that has flourished within my heart as I read your words, even as misguided as they must be. The mere thought of having our Lis back, even for a moment, just so I could tell her how proud of her I am and how truly sorry I am for not listening to her before heading out to the damned war. I wonder... would it be cathartic to talk to this Inquisitor of yours? Would she be willing to play the part of my dearly departed sister for a day and let me speak to her as if she were reborn? Maker's breath. Even reading that back was enough to send shivers up my spine. What a truly perverse thought.
I have known you to be a brilliant woman. Smart, talented and above all, motivated by faith. I do not want to believe that you say this to be cruel, but something within you is driving you to believe this is my sister. Alistair has spoken highly of you all these past years, and I have greatly appreciated your diligence in remembering and honouring Elissa. It is this and this alone that has me saying that I will attend your Skyhold to see for myself if you are speaking the truth or if you have gone mad or bored from your time in the Chantry.
I pray to Andraste that you are telling the truth, for the many obvious reasons. It would mean everything to have a part of my family back, but if you are found wanting, I will demand your instant dismissal from the Inquisition and Ferelden. This is not a trifling matter for you to toy with as you please; this is not a hurt that should be mocked.
For the friendship and love you bore my sister, I will afford you this courtesy. If there is any inkling of possibility it is her, I must go to her. I will not leave her alone again.
I expect to be there in the coming months, weather and responsibilities permitting. The Bannorn Lords' meeting is scheduled to last at least a month, and then I have been summoned to Denerim for an audience with the Queen.
I would do anything to fly there now, but unfortunately, as Teryn, my duty comes first, especially for something too fantastical to believe. And as you well know, a Cousland always does their duty.
Regards,
Fergus