Author's Note: Dearest readers, thank you so much for your patience during this hiatus. The Frozen Force is still alive and continuing onward. I have been drafting the rest of Season 5 and Season 6 in an effort to have a clearer path straight ahead. Please enjoy this week's chapter!

~ Sparks

ADVISORY: The following chapter contains sensitive material relating to: Depression, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. Remember to practice self care before, during, and after reading.

Chapter: 139 The Twilight of Elsa Dellian

ACCESSING IMPERIAL NETWORK -

Victarian: Star Destroyer Victarian to Imperial High Command.

IHC: This is High Command. Go ahead, Victarian.

Victarian: Scanners have an unmarked vessel traveling through the Thanium Sector. Trajectory puts it enroute to Rhen Var.

IHC: Transmit the ship's scans and model.

Victarian: Transmitting now.

…

IHC: Permit the vessel to pass.

In a galaxy teeming with so much disorder and conflict, there was almost a greater eeriness to be found in silence. So often would many a spacer see fleets of warships gliding throughout the stars or witness the bustling commotion of an orbital spaceport. Yet there was Rhen Var. This icy planet was a pale, desolate orb amid the blackness of space. Accompanied by few and inhabited by fewer, this solitary planet had only become more unforgiving over the years. Relentless blizzards swirled across the land while the occasional avalanche had glaciers toppling over one another. And yet, a lone probe droid hovered through these frigid dangers.

With frosted lenses and dented casings, this spherical droid persisted beyond the winds. Despite the ongoing storm, his sensors could faintly make out the buried columns of an ancient ruin. "Ooo," the droid computed with intrigue and buzzed for a moment. To his frustration, his scanning lens had frozen over again. Buzzing through overexertion, the probe ultimately extended his lens. Icy flakes scattered from the push as he locked on to the columns. "And still intact," he marveled. "Master will be so pleased!" As the winds picked up, the droid briefly lost his center of gravity. Restabilizing, he hovered alongside the column and kept scanning. His lens passed over crumbled walls, cracked slabs…and a hooded figure standing atop ancient stairs.

Unable to scream, the probe droid emitted a sharp screech. As both he and the stranger briefly locked eyes betwixt the winds, the droid observed them from head to toe. Without a single word, all exploration came to a halt. Instead, it watched as the figure briefly glanced back at the probe before dashing deeper into the storm.

"M-...Master?" the probe droid rattled into its comms. "M-Master…" His timid computations went unanswered over the gusts, forcing the droid to make a hasty retreat. Determined to find a clearer signal, the probe zoomed across Rhen Var's icy scape, occasionally pleading for his owner to answer. "Master!" he yelped through the storm. "Mas-"

A heavy thud sounded as the droid swirled into a pair of heavy gloves. The familiar knitting had his circuits slowing as he raised a cyan photoreceptor."Master Milo!" he rattled. "I saw her! I saw her again! She's real!"

The gloved hands slowly pet the droid as if to calm him further. "Easy 3-J," their wearer spoke up. Even with his voice muffled through a wintry cowl, that honeyed tone was enough to ease his companion. Milo defogged his circular goggles and carried the probe under one of his poorly pitched observation tents. "Who's real?" he asked, only to immediately wince. "Oh no. You don't mean-"

"The Ghost Woman!" 3-J persisted. Having regained power in his circuits, he frantically hovered around Milo. I scanned her this time. Check my databank! You'll see, sir!"

"I'll check it if it'll make you feel better, buddy." Milo assured while unclipping 3-J's data processor. "But Rhen Var's been abandoned for years." He clipped the processor into his own viewing pad and monitored the screen. "There's also no such thing as-" Milo's fingers tensed up. 3-J paused for his verdict as he readjusted his goggles for a closer look. "-ghosts…" Milo glanced at his frantic droid, all while being utterly baffled by the silhouette on the screen. It was moving fast amid the storm. Cloaked and obscured under the ice winds. While this find raised more questions instead of answers, there was no denying that they weren't alone on Rhen Var.

No amount of years nor experience could change the fact that the cold never bothered Elsa Dellian. She had become numb to it all, even as the ice winds pelted her up the stairs of an abandoned temple. Faded memories of her youth descended in each fractal, reminding her of the journey alongside Yelena and Cordova. While she tried to search the past for answers, any efforts to do so were blocked out by the fact that both masters were either dead or likely so.

That lingering weight of Yelena's demise only carried on as she stepped out of the storm. At any earlier point in her life, Elsa would've found comfort in the silence. Instead, this calmness was a breeding ground for haunting thoughts. Yelena's death only beckoned others to creep in as the sight of Avett's lifeless corpse still plagued Elsa's mind.

"So…much…death," Elsa whispered as she roamed the temple's vast corridors. Where her eyes had once been filled with great wonder, now only sorrow took hold. She ran her fragile fingers along the walls, hoping to feel some connection as if she hadn't renounced the Force. As if she hadn't shut herself from the very Force Wraith she'd bonded with in that temple. For years, all Elsa had craved was the solitude of meditation. Now Elsa's world was so quiet, it was utterly terrifying. She stumbled around each shadowy corner, almost begging that she wouldn't have to do the work this time. Feeling like she'd suffered enough. That perhaps…for once…the Force would come to her. That it would save her from this living hell.

But no answer came. Only echoes of her own mutters matching the winds outside. Elsa could hardly bring herself to cry any further, for she didn't deem herself worth the tears. And as she dropped to her knees and scrounged for her remaining rations, Elsa barely ate. The ship she'd taken from Ghorman hardly had enough food to last a few days. Breaking off a final piece of packaged bread, she realized only crumbs were left.

A sharp hiss had Elsa raising her head through the shadows. Rising to her feet, she stumbled towards a frosted pillar and clung to its edge. Elsa followed the sound to see a blade-like spacecraft descending from the planet's silver clouds. Given the ship's timing, it was as if the planet feared such an arrival and quieted the storms in its name. The ship landed at the temple's base, puncturing fresh blankets of snow with its crude landing gear.

Still clutching the pillar, Elsa peered from the temple and watched as a trio of heavy-coated thugs disembarked. Opposite to them, Milo was quick to emerge from his tent with 3-J in tow.

While the flanking thugs secured the perimeter, the centermost advanced. No amount of winterwear could obscure the Avinarian's sharp talons and black-feathered head. "Milo," he cawed. "I take it you don't have it."

Milo gulped. "Well-...Not yet." The thugs started to advance as he hurriedly threw up his hands. "But decoding dead languages takes time!" he pleaded. "It will unlock the secrets of any tombs within. I just know it!"

"You've had a week," the Avinarian growled. "The Mistress was promised riches within this temple."

"And Mistress Maleficent will have them," Milo was quick to answer. "I assure you. I just need a little more time to-"

Elsa's heart sank as the Avinarian lunged forward. His punch was heavy enough to have Milo clutching his stomach and dropping to his knees. Elsa's blood ran cold while the Avinarian seized Milo's throat in one of his taloned feet. The sound of his droid companion beeping in distress had her hyperventilating.

"You have until dawn," the Avinarian threatened while leaning towards Milo. "If you haven't opened a single tomb by dawn, we'll be adding your body to this ancient waste of time. Got it?" Milo quickly nodded. "Say it," the Avinarian demanded.

"Got…it," he croaked, permitting his foe to release him into the snow.

Elsa felt as though she'd sob, but the tears never came. In fact, nothing did. She remained paralyzed in fear, staring down at the heinous act as the thugs departed. She stared at that same spot long after the ship had taken off and Milo had hobbled back to his tent. Elsa couldn't bring herself to run, but she couldn't defend a person in need either. All she'd done was bring pain to herself and to those around her.

As she retreated into the deepest halls of that snowy temple, Elsa found a circular chamber and dropped into it. She begged for herself to meditate…to find some sort of sign. But the emptiness was too great. Her lips quivered to shallow gasps as she rummaged through her bag in a trancelike state. Elsa's nearly unblinking eyes were reddened by tears that wouldn't flow as she scoured the halls for answers. "Be with me," she croaked to a Force that was never coming. "Force be with me. Force help me. Please. Please…"

It must've taken hours for the winds to die down, just like Elsa's voice. She'd been pleading for a sign long after nightfall had taken over her region. Slivers of moonlight crept through the temple's broken roof and illuminated her quivering self. Caught between the realms of exhaustion and desperation, she heard an echo call to her in the darkness. It was like a fresh breath, begging for Elsa to find it.

"Wh-" she coughed through her strained voice. "Who's there?" The breath called out again, this time creeping along the walls until Elsa was scrambling to her feet. She rubbed her bloodshot eyes, exasperated to get a closer look at a fallen figure against the chamber's back wall. "Hello?" Elsa called out. Even having cut herself off from the Force, she slowly smiled. For her beckonings had been answered. Hardly able to stand in her weakened state, Elsa crawled to the figure. "I'm here," she answered. "Please-"

"How…" the breath manifested into a single word. Elsa froze and swallowed hard. Her eyes were unblinking as she stared at the fallen silhouette. She couldn't tell if her mind was imagining movement in the dark, or if it was actually shifting forward. As the voice persisted, each word was far more strident. The tone had Elsa shuddering as the fallen figure leaned forward in the moonlight. "How dare you ask for help-" the voice said. Elsa's eyes widened as Commander Frost's pale, iced over body came into the light. "-when you're the reason for all of this."

"No!" Elsa cried out and practically threw herself to Frost. As she sprawled out her arms to save him, she soon found herself clutching the skeletal remnants of a temple monk. Elsa's brows furrowed in distress over what she'd witnessed. "I'm…sorry," she whimpered. "I'm sorry!" Elsa called out as a plethora of whispers echoed around her. Her broken gaze darted around the room, observing the different skeletons that had been frozen over time. As the moonlight shined against them, Elsa saw different bodies in their places. Yelena, Mattias, Stel and Avett were sprawled out around her…just as Frost had been. Udo's corpse dangled in the shadows and had Elsa shuffling back against the snowy tiles. As she backed up, two broken pillars looked like the silhouettes of her parents the night they were shot.

Frost's voice carried on. "We're all dead. Because of you."

"I-" Elsa uttered. "It's…it's true." She no longer recognized the voice speaking to her. It was Frost's one moment, then a choir from her past in the next. It neither the Dark nor the Light Side Force. It never was. When thoughts weren't bombarding her, Elsa's own lips were parting raspy words.

"They're all dead," she spoke to herself. "Because of me. They're all lost…and I should stay lost with them. I don't deserve to live."

It was as if her mind was moving on autopilot. Her hands fell from clutching her face as a sharp ringing came to her ears. It only intensified as she unclipped her lightsaber and stared at its scuffed up hilt. Elsa's heart pounded with each passing moment, the ringing becoming deafening. Her nostrils flared as the saber clacked in her palms. Gritting her teeth, Elsa pressed the weapon to her torso. She squeezed until its metals pinched her hands and the emitter prodded her belly. Holding her breath and staring down at the blade, Elsa slid her thumb to the activator switch.

The ringing was so ear-splitting, that Elsa felt as though her ears would bleed. Her thumb caressed the switch, cold sweat dripping to the hilt. Elsa squirmed and whimpered, feeling each pinch of the metal and saying she deserved it. Willing herself to ignite the blade and end years of a torturous existence.

No one would know. Her story could just end. Her body could be lost in the temple's darkness forever, never to harm nor hinder anyone. All it would take was a final activation.

In her last moments, she flooded her mind with those she hoped to join. The sight of Yelena laying dead in the temple. Innocent Stel fallen at Anakin's feet. Frost still dying in her arms. Mattias lost to Hans. Her parents, getting gunned down in cold blood.

Suddenly, an unsuspected image accompanied the death of Iduna and Agnarr. It was as if the world had shifted, making way for the version of Elsa who had witnessed her parents fall. Deep within Elsa's mind stood a frightened child, lost and abandoned to the world. This little blonde wouldn't stop crying, her wails echoing throughout the blackness.

Although hesitant at first with such a vision, Elsa knelt beside her crying self.

"I'm all alone," the child sniffled. "Mama…Papa…I-"

Without hesitation, the eldest Dellian hugged her smaller self. She pulled the child as close as possible, raising her hand to caress her head. Her own tears swelled as the child whimpered into her chest.

"Am I…are we going to be alright?" the child asked.

As Elsa pondered the question, she considered her childhood self and all that she would experience. Rather…what had been. She reflected on the same embrace offered to her by Yelena. How she'd been taken to Coruscant to be trained as a Jedi alongside Anna. The skills she'd come to learn…and the fascination she'd find in droids. For every loss, there had been a moment of companionship. For each trial, an instant of solace. Exploring vast worlds and helping those she could. For while she had indeed failed the few, it would be ignorant to deny the many she'd saved for years.

Elsa's pale palms flushed with red as her thumb shifted on the activator. Her cries became grunts while a vein pulsed at her temple. The ringing in her ears was at its highest point as time stopped…and Elsa activated the blade.

Bright blue plasma beamed from the side opposite of her stomach, as she couldn't bring herself to ignite the other end. Elsa finally exhaled and glanced down at the steaming blade, watching it melt snow off the tiles below. Realizing what could've been in those moments…what could've just ended, Elsa dropped the saber and hugged herself tight. Her short breaths yielded to guttural wails, as she inched back into the nearest pillar.

Grounding herself in the shadows, Elsa kept squeezing. She squeezed herself as long as she needed to. For like her inner child, she was worthy of the love she'd seldom shown herself. Deserving of the forgiveness she'd never let herself feel. The pain of all that had transpired was very real, but her mind had always been so very wrong about her. Enough was enough. With a deep breath and broken heart, Elsa spoke words she hadn't brought power to in years.

"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me," she whispered.

Barely believing it, she hugged herself tighter. With knitted brows and pursed lips, Elsa pushed to say it again. "I am one with the Force and the Force is with me." She said it as many times as she needed to in those shadows. Each time breathing easier and feeling warmer in her own embrace. Closing her eyes, she focused on the very weapon that had been her life for decades. She thought on all it had done, both in honor and error as she continued her mantra.

"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me," she spoke naturally, losing count of how many times she'd said it. Steadying her breaths and releasing herself from a hug, Elsa opened her eyes to a long-forgotten sight. Her disassembled lightsaber pieces were floating above at her command. Bonded through the Force, she fixated on the royal blue kyber crystal betwixt it all. She embraced its vulnerable glow, accepted it, and then reassembled the blade. Elsa took another deep breath as she clasped the lightsaber in her hands. A faint smile crept across her lips as a remaining tear rolled down her cheek. For Elsa Dellian was a Jedi, and nothing in the galaxy could ever take that away from her.

A new morning on Rhen Var was seldom ever different. Once the blizzards had finished ravaging the planet's icy surface, only desolate silence would remain. This isolation made the screech of a traveling ship overhead all the more noticeable. For Milo, all the sound did was have his heart pounding.

His bundled fingers hurriedly tapped at several datapads stuffed into his arms. Desperate to decode pillar after pillar of ancient text, even an experienced linguist like Milo couldn't finish in time. His breaths stifled and 3-J anxiously swirled around his head. Their efforts had proved fruitless as the dark vessel landed behind them. Still Milo kept working, even as the Avinarian's talons were already scraping down the ramp.

"Milo…Milo…Milo-" he hissed.

"I've almost got it, Mr. Diaval." Milo panicked. "Um…sir." He raced through calculations, not even looking back. "I just need a little more ti-"

In that instant, one of the thugs pulled him back by his jacket's hood and threw him into the snow. The second gangster kicked him in the torso and relished in his squirming.

"Times up," Diaval cawed. "We've wasted enough of it with this useless treasure hunt."

"No," Milo wheezed and writhed. "Please-"

"Ready to become part of the exhibit?" Diaval jested. The sinister grin across his beak was enough to have his men yanking Milo up. They dragged him through the snow, ultimately throwing him against one of the temple columns.

"Master!" 3-J chimed in alarm.

"Shoot the damn droid too," Diaval scoffed.

"Gladly," one of the thugs cackled before aiming his blaster at Milo first.

The young scientist raised his hands in surrender, backed against the column, and shut his eyes. Bracing for the inevitable, he flinched as a sharp bang sounded. When he didn't feel a moment of pain, Milo hurriedly opened his eyes and scoured his body for a shot. He looked forward to see that the gangsters were equally confused.

A jagged stone had fallen beside them from above. "What the-" was all one of the gangsters could say before a second stone fell. Then a third. Suddenly, an entire pillar dropped from the upper cliffside and had the men backing up.

Diaval slowly backed up. "What did you do, boy?"

"N-nothing," Milo speedily answered. "It's not me. I swear!"

"The Ghost Woman," 3-J computed. The little droid's words had all four men turning to him. They followed his photoreceptor's gaze up to the cliff, where a woman's silhouette stood tall. When the thugs went to shoot her, she waved her hand upward. Their lasers zipped over just as she sent a cloud of snow to shroud her movements. The winds were picking up again. This time with no blizzard in sight. As if entire waves of snow were being pushed through the air around the group.

"What the kriffing hell," the same gangster uttered, suddenly feeling lighter.

"Holy-" the other gasped at his partner.

"What are you-" Terror took hold as he realized he was levitating off of the ground. He shot wildly in his panic, distracting his cohort until he too was being lifted.

Diaval watched in disbelief as this unseen energy sent both men bashing into each other and rendering them unconscious. Like a pair of invisible hands taking out the trash, it then threw them up the ramp and back into the ship from whence they came.

Acting quickly, Diaval lunged for Milo. He pulled him into a headlock and pressed a blaster pistol to his head. "Whatever this is!" he squawked. "Whatever you are! Show yourself!"

Silence followed the gangster's demand as he frantically searched the mists. In a sudden Force Pull, Diaval's pistol was easily taken away. He watched as his only weapon swirled off into the mists…and the woman's silhouette emerged. She stood with arms raised, calling pillars and boulders to rise around him. His floating pistol disassembled behind her and its pieces plummeted into the snow.

"Leave this place," Elsa made her voice echo over her own winds. "NOW."

Unsure with what he was facing, but knowing he was outmatched, Diaval cut his losses. He dropped Milo, lowered his wings, and backed up into his ship. Elsa kept up her mists up, waiting until the vessel had taken off entirely. Only then did she restore calmness to the snowscape.

3-J was a rattling, jittery mess as Elsa emerged from her makeshift form. Gone were any braids, as she let her blonde tresses flow freely. Her dark cloak folded as she knelt beside Milo and helped him up. He was still in a daze as she checked his forehead for injuries. Elsa glanced at the frightened probe droid and gestured to him. "It's okay, little friend. I won't hurt you."

"But-...but you're the Ghost Woman!" 3-J buzzed.

Elsa shook her head at the title until Milo's groans brought her back to the moment. "What happened," the youth grumbled. "Who-...who are you?"

Every urge within told Elsa to either stay silent or say her alias. But 'Menzel' wouldn't take another step. Too long had she hidden away in lies and shame. For what would happen, living in her truth?

"I'm Elsa," she spoke up. "Elsa Dellian."

"Milo Thatch," he replied. "That there is-"

"3-J" the droid blurted.

"He likes to introduce himself," Milo sighed.

"Are you both alright?" Elsa asked while helping Milo to his feet.

"We'll be okay," Milo assured. "We've taken our share of hits before. But how did you-...do that?" He waved a hand towards the assortment of fallen boulders.

"The Force is my ally," Elsa answered simply.

"The Force?" Milo stuttered and glanced back at 3-J. His brows raised from his goggles as he thought back on his research. "Oh my-...You're a-...a Jedi?" She nodded calmly. Within seconds, Milo descended into intrigued hysterics. "I have so many questions. You-...I-" Recomposing himself, he clasped at his head as another realization took hold. "We just got saved by a Jedi." Turning back to Elsa, he tried to straighten his lanky frame. "Thank you, Miss…um…Madame Jedi, for saving our lives. What can we possibly due to repay you?"

Elsa paused, admiring his enthusiasm for history and reflecting on her own. As she embraced the opportunity before her for choosing life, she took another step forward. "Actually, I could really use a ride off of Rhen Var. I need find my sister."

Author's Note: This chapter was a long time coming. I've known that I wanted to tell this segment for a while, so to finally reach it is very important to me. And to anyone else who needs it. There is always one more chance to figure things out. It's not too late. All you have to do is make it to one more moment. Even when making it through a whole day is terrifying, just a moment is enough sometimes. You are not as alone as it may seem and there are resources. There are others who have felt like you and stand with you. Two years ago, I was suicidal and recovering mentally from that place was a path not so easily traversed. But it was possible. This number is here to help.

SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE

1-800-273-8255

You are all Jedi, and nothing can ever take that away from you.

Sincerely,

Sparks