…Rage Of The Black Dragon…
Author's note/Warnings: This is a Yaoi story as in male x male. The pairing is Aang x Zuko. If it offends you, you might want to turn back now. For those that don't mind, I hope you enjoy the story. All reviews are appreciated.
P.S.: This is my first story in this fandom (ATLA fandom as a whole) so I can say I am a little insecure as this is my first voyage here as opposed to my usual fandoms (I can admit that watching the ATLA original show, which I loved very much, and had captivated and inspired me to write this story!) fair warning, English is not my first language, and I am still unsure about the story but I will try my best to give this fic the attention it deserves. For everyone who knew of me or even read some of my other stories, then everyone, you know the drill by now, bring your tissues and get ready for the angst and tears!
P.P.S.: This is an Omegaverse story as in Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamic, with Alpha Aang and Omega Zuko, so you have been warned! And it is also a time travel one! The titles that would be used for the Omegaverse dynamic in this story, are from the Chinese fandom (As the story would have many customs and cultures from southern and eastern Asia; China specifically, and Japan):-
Alpha - Qianyuan
Omega - Kunze
Beta – Zhongyong
P.P.P.S: This is a dark (And I mean really dark!) story that takes place in the ALTA's timeline (The original show, not the live adaptation, but who knows, maybe I will add a pointer or two from the NATLA after I watch it?) to some extent but with many major changes such as Aang being aged up to sixteen and Zuko being OOC; this story is also the first part of the series that would follow the first chapter but diverge after a certain point.
P.P.P.P.S.: BE WARNED OF THE FIRST CHAPTER! This chapter contains: Major character(s) deaths, cursing, violence, abuse, imprisonment, mention of torture, angst, mention of gore and blood, mental breakdown, mental health issues, depression, mention of Mpreg and childbirth, suicide ideation, attempted suicide, mention of cannibalism, possessiveness, darkness, and the most important tag, Dark Zuko! You heard right, DARK Zuko! So be aware when reading this fic and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I will only say this once. I don't own anything and make no profit from this story.
Chapter 1
…They… have lost…
Revenge was the answer…
…It was always the answer…
"We will stop Fire Lord Ozai and win this war, together."
"And if we lose?"
"…"
"…Then we will do that together too…"
…("Zuko…" A gentle voice whispered, followed by a soft kiss that all but made him melt into the embrace of his beloved, all of his worries vanished away, and he was content and happy in the arms of his beloved who was peppering his face, neck, and wherever he could reach with gentle kisses that were as soft as a rose petal and as fleeting as a butterfly.
"Don't try to distract me, Aang," Zuko whispered back not willing to break the mood, even when he knew that he should, but he wanted to do nothing but kiss his beloved and lose himself in the younger man's embrace; just for a while longer, for a little bit, for another chance to kiss the man and bask in the happiness of the love he was offered freely by someone he thought unattained (A past enemy, a friend, someone close and so far, his purpose and destiny), he just wanted to lose himself for a little bit longer without thinking about the fateful day tomorrow and all the possibilities that they would be forced to face.
A soft laugh filled with warmth and joy was heard as the younger man leaned his forehead on Zuko's, his grey eyes twinkling with mischievous light, trying to reassure and distract Zuko, even when Zuko managed to detect the note of uncertainly and fear behind those smiling eyes. "Distracting you? Who is trying to distract you? I am just trying to have a very… serious discussion, with my beloved, is this a crime now?" The teen teased, Zuko's lips twitched up into a small smile despite himself and his want to make Aang talk to him instead of hiding behind the mask of a smile that fooled almost everyone.
Warmth flooded Zuko and his breath hitched when his beloved kissed his scar gently, whispering enchanting words full of love and devotion into his scared, returning to his goal of trying to distract Zuko to avoid the conversation they needed to have… a conversation they should have… because it involved Aang and Ozai and the life that would possibly be taken in the fight tomorrow. Zuko knew he should talk to Aang, he knew he should set the other teenager down and explain to him how important tomorrow was for everyone. Zuko knew he should reassure Aang, talk to him… convince him… that for once, he needed to throw away his morality and beliefs; that not all lives are sacred, and that sometimes, taking the life of someone to save many was necessary for the grand scheme of fates.
But looking at that joyful face that hid nervousness, looking at those grey eyes that hid fear and uncertainty in them; Zuko found that he didn't have it in him to break the peaceful and soft moment they were having together when the two of them didn't know what they would face tomorrow. This could be their last moment together, tomorrow one of them may survive, or the two of them may perish together in battle, or (If the Spirits willed it, and showed them some mercy) they may survive and stand as the winners of this damned war that took and took and left nothing but pain and death. So no, Zuko didn't have it in him to break this loving moment when tomorrow was looming on them with its choking grip, threatening them with the possible loss of everything they loved and knew.
"Is that so?" Zuko tried to tease, instead of pushing his beloved away and trying to talk and reason with him once more about how important it was that Aang didn't hesitate when it came to killing Ozai; Zuko decided for once not to push the matter and make what could possibly be their last night together, a night filled with anger and hurt between the two of them, instead, Zuko leaned to kiss the corner of Aang's mouth. "Well then, who am I to oppose?" He smiled contently at the beaming grin the other teen sent him as he leaned down, and this time, gave Zuko a deep and passionate kiss as if trying to convey all of his love and adoration in one single kiss.
Zuko closed his eyes, letting a hum of delight as he slightly tilted his head to deepen the kiss even more, melting in his beloved's embrace, giving and talking as they tried to forget the horrors of tomorrow that were waiting for them around the corner. Zuko's heart pounding in his chest so fast that he thought any moment now it would jump off his chest and into Aang's hands like an offering with every confession of love and adoration that gave Zuko the hope that they could win this, that tomorrow they would be the victorious ones and end this war once and for all…
For once, Zuko truly felt happy)…
"Great news! The Avatar is dead! The Great Phoenix King Ozai managed to slay the last Air Bender!"
Zuko gazed blankly at the grey walls outside of his cell; those cursed words continued to ring in his ears over and over again, refusing him any respite as grief and pain consumed him ever since he was forced to hear the news that shattered his whole world. It was weeks since Sozin's comet had come and gone, bringing nothing but destruction to the world as the Fire Nation burned everything in its way, rending the world into nothing but broken relics and ashes fluttering in the wind. It was a few weeks since they had failed in stopping the Fire Nation from their mad plans of dominating the world and making it kneel for them; weeks since they had lost, against the Fire Lord and Azula, losing and losing until what was left of them was nothing but handful scattering around the world as they tried to run and find somewhere safe, like rats scurrying away from the much stronger predator that was playing with them and planning to kill them afterward.
A week since he woke up in this dark and damp cell; confused and disoriented as he looked around, trying to make sense of what took place, his body writhing in agony as he tried to understand how he was still alive when he knew that he should have died after Azula had shot him full of lightening. A week since Zuko crawled toward the bars in his cell, his body twitching and burning, being closer and closer to falling apart by the second, but that wasn't what concerned Zuko at that moment, what concerned him was the laughter and cheering and celebration that was so loud, Zuko continued to hear it even being in his cell underground.
Aang was dead, killed by his own father, Fire Lord Ozai… Ba Sing Se had fallen, burned to the ground, with the rest of the Earth Kingdom; no survivors were seen, and even then, the handful that was caught were nothing but scattered civilians, who were so shellshocked that they were likened to rocks in their stillness, afraid of even breathing least they did something wrong… His uncle and the Order had disappeared from the face of the earth, and Zuko didn't even know if his uncle had managed to survive the madness or if he was just another body burned to crisp with the rest of the innocent… This was followed by a worldwide purge to ensure that the Avatar would never be born again, be in the Water Tribes or The Earth Kingdom that turned into nothing but ashes; destroying the hopes that this madness that consumed the world would be put to an end…
Zuko still remembered the pain and grief that consumed him when he was forced to hear those cursed news accompanied by his sister's delightful face, as she laughed and laughed, and giggled and told him the gory detail of what their father had done to Aang and how the Avatar's head was mounted on a spike on the higher wall of their palace; to show people how the Avatar had fallen and how the Fire Nation had ascended.
Zuko still remembered how broken he felt, he remembered how his heart felt like it was ripped apart and how the world had darkened in his eyes; he still suffered the nightmares that accompanied him every waking hour and every second of sleep as his mind conjured a detailed picture of what happened to his beloved and how he died by his father's cruel hands; weeping silently when no one was looking for the dark fate his beloved suffered before he died… to make things even worst, Zuko doesn't even know what happened to the rest of his and Aang's friends, he doesn't even know if they had managed to escape or if they were killed with the rest of the resistance… he doesn't know… but that didn't mean his mind didn't torture him nightly about the what ifs…
Images that never left Zuko's mind, repeated daily in every moment of existence, leaving him a broken mess that tried to piece himself together and not break in front of the guards, or worse his sister who seemed to have found a great way to pass the time by coming into his cell whenever she liked, to taunt and try to break him like one of her less desirable toys (Not knowing how close she was to succeeding).
Zuko could only close his eyes tightly, hoping, praying… begging… every Spirit and deity out there for this nightmare to be just that, a nightmare that he would wake up from soon; a nightmare that he would wake up from and see Aang sleeping beside him, holding him and reassuring him that it was alright. Aang, who would look at him and give him one of his sunny and happy grins before trying to joke with him and make him laugh before giving him a soft kiss to banish all of his worries away.
He begged the Spirits that this was nothing but a nightmare that he would wake up from soon, to see his friends' faces as they annoyed him and laughed with him as they started their day (Sokka's annoying and sometimes funny jokes that made Zuko smile secretly; Toph's 'Friendly Punches' as she pestered him daily and supported him with her surprising word of wisdom and constant presence. Suki's headstrong personality and how she always kept him on his toes every time he trained with her; even Katara's passive aggressiveness toward him was welcomed if it meant he would see her alive and well); he wished and begged that this was just a nightmare that he would wake up from, and see his uncle sitting beside him, giving him one of his warm smiles before offering him a cup of tea and a piece of advice that would make Zuko's mind run in circles trying to decipher but accept happily at the same time.
He could only cling to the hope that all of this was nothing but one of Azula's mind-breaking schemes; Zuko knew his sister, and he knew how much she loved winding people and then watching them go mad, taking a sick kind of pleasure of the misfortune she created after breaking those poor souls she set her sight on. Zuko could only cling to the hope that Aang had survived like it was a lifeline, hoping that it was just like Ba Sing Se and that by a miracle, Aang had managed to survive somewhere safe where he would get ready to face Fire Lord Ozai once more. Zuko could only cling to the hope of Aang being alive, clutching at the meager hope, his only reason for living; Aang was his hope, he was his destiny, a world without Aang in it… Zuko doesn't believe he could handle living in such a dark and cold world.
The heavy silence was broken by the sound of metal grinding, which broke Zuko from his daze and made his eyes dart to the person who dared to disturb him in his mourning; his body bristling at the thought of Azula once more daring to come to his prison cell to once more taunt him with his beloved's death. Whatever hateful glare was on his face, whatever rage and pure loath showed on every atom in his body; it was halted by the appearance of his father, who walked down the corridor to reach his cell, standing in front of the metal bars and looking at him… really looking at him… for once his father's face was not wearing its arrogant smirk or his look full of contempt; instead, his father's face was expressionless as he gazed at Zuko with a strange light that made his hackles raise as it finally dawned on him who dared to stand in front of him.
"Every time I think you have managed to disappoint me beyond imagination, you continue to surprise me, Zuko," Ozai said after what felt like decades of silence, his words causing rage and hatred to ignite inside of Zuko ten times stronger as he narrowed his eyes.
"You…" Zuko rasped out, finally speaking for the first time ever since he woke up in his cell after weeks of coma; his voice made his father blink before raising one of his eyebrows slightly. "You!" Zuko snarled, throwing himself at the metal bars, trying to get his hands on that monster who took everything away from him. "You monster, you!" He shrieked, growling and spitting and hissing as he tried to reach his father and wring his neck, even if the two of them were separated by metal bars that prevented Zuko from taking his revenge on the man he used to call a father once upon a time.
"Such an unsightly appearance; your shamelessness knew no boundaries… Kunze…" Fire Lord Ozai's lips twitched down in disgust; his nose scrunched as his eyes took Zuko in who by the second looked more like a wild animal than the former prince he used to be. Even though Zuko knew he should be afraid and shaken after he heard his jailor expose his true nature (A nature no one other than his uncle and Aang had known, as he spent all of his life hiding behind the false scent of Zhongyong, meditation, and bitter teas and herbs that suppressed his nature) his anger and hate knew no boundaries, and even the thought of what his ex-father would do to him after knowing this was overshadowed by a rage so strong, Zuko wondered how the mental bars didn't melt in his grip (The freezing temperature surrounding him like he was once more thrust into that cursed cooler; the pain in his body and the burning sensation in his veins told Zuko that he wasn't recovered enough to be of any danger to the monster in front of him). "It seems that after all this time you still haven't learned anything…" Annoyance and disgust colored the Fire Lord's voice, doing nothing but stocking the fire of hate in Zuko's heart.
"Learn? Learn?! Oh, I have learned, Father!" Zuko spat his words with enough venom that it was a wonder how his father hadn't dropped dead. "I learned, and as soon as I get out of here then by Agni, I will show you everything I learned you piece of shit!" Curses, threats, venom, and promises of cruel death left Zuko's lips as he once more tried to reach his father and show him true pain and despair, wanting to take revenge on the monster who took everyone and everything from him; the monster who took his beloved from him.
Ozai raised his hand, face unimpressed as he wiped the spit from his face; his eyes never leaving Zuko who was glaring at him after daring to spit in his face when all of his attempts to reach his father had turned futile. "I see that pain hadn't taught you any respect or honor while you were banished." Fire Lord Ozai's lips twitched down, his eyes narrowed as they took Zuko with the same strange light that made Zuko's hackles rise and he almost spit at his father once more. "It doesn't matter, though. I will personally make sure to shape you into the perfect Kunze you should have been, instead of playing the role of useless Zhongyong you seemed to be fond of." Silence dominated the place, as both father and son gazed at one another; the older one with indifference in his eyes, while the younger one glared at the older man with pure contempt and fury.
"You think you could break the way you did Azula? Oh, father, how delusional could you be to think you would succeed in something you didn't the first time?" Zuko couldn't help but taunt his father, knowing how much his betrayal during the eclipse was a sore subject his father tried to avoid.
Instead of getting angry like Zuko predicted, instead of hitting or burning or shooting him full of lightning like Ozai did once upon a time; his father smiled at him, a smile that made Zuko pause for a bit before a sudden wariness took hold of him. "Oh, but I already did," Ozai said before throwing something at Zuko's feet before turning and leaving the dungeon.
Zuko waited until his father was out of the dungeon and as far away as he physically could before he dared to look down. A silent 'Oh' was the only thing that could leave Zuko's lips as tears clouded his eyes when they fell on the familiar orange fabric that greeted his sight… with trembling lips, Zuko leaned down to snatch the cloth as shaky hands, breath hitching when his eyes noticed the brown stains on the orang cloth. "You idiot… you should have killed him…" Zuko's voice cracked as he whispered these words, holding his tears with all of his might even when all Zuko wanted was to cry and weep and grieve for the loss of his beloved.
But knowing his father, Zuko wouldn't put it past the man to wait outside of the dungeon; waiting for him to break down and lose it just to come later and use his moment of weakness to abuse him with cruel words and even crueler looks. But want it or not, Zuko was not the scared little child from four years ago, who wept and cried and begged his father to forgive him and take him back home; want it or it, Ozai would realize that his mind tricks wouldn't work no matter how much he tried. Want it or not, Zuko would leave this damned place and kill Ozai and Azula for what they did to his beloved and friends; want it or not…
…Zuko won't break…
No matter how much Ozai and Azula taunted him, no matter how much they torture him; no matter how much they threatened him by parading him around like a whore, he would always fight back and try to escape. No matter how they left him in the damned cooler until he felt his blood turn into ice, and his inner fire flicker until it was nothing but frozen coal; no matter how much he was slapped and hit, until he could barely stand and his body was closer to giving up. No matter how much they held him and thrust his face into the water until his lungs screamed for air, and he thought he was going to die; no matter how much he was thrown around like a ragdoll in the hope that they would weaken him so he wouldn't try to attempt to injure the guards and escape again and again...
He won't break…
"This is not right!" Zuko would hear one of the guards hissing to their partner one night, his body feeling like one giant bruise after Azula was done with him. "How could The Phoenix King allow that to happen? And to a Kunze no less?!" Zuko could hear the hysteria and anger in the guard's voice, and he couldn't help but wonder if he was one of the few out there who still believed in the will of Agni and the old ways that had fallen after his father took over.
"Shhh! Are you mad? Do you want the Phoenix King or worse, Fire Lord Azula to hear you?!" The second guard whispered, looking around frantically, hoping that no one had heard her partner's words lest they were punished; a sentiment that wasn't shared by the man who let out a growl of frustration.
"But he is a Kunze! He is one of Agni's beloveds! He should be respected and revered, not locked down here and tortured!" The man tried to reason once more, his words made Zuko close his eyes tightly, knowing damn well that the Fire Nation no longer worshiped Agni anymore to care about his laws and the old ways; as long as Ozai sat on the throne, no child of Agni… no… no person who walked this mortal plane was safe.
"So, what?! Better be locked down here and tortured than burned at the stake with the rest of his friends!" Silence, a soul-breaking silence took over as Zuko put his shaky hands on his mouth to muffle his sobs, tears streaming down his face as he finally learned the fate of his friends… his friends… they…
He won't break…
Even when he saw a ghost from his past walking to his cell intending to heal him after Azula once more went overboard; Zuko still remembered how his heart pounded loudly in his chest and how hope took hold of him as he scrambled toward the bars, not minding his broken arm as he all but breath Katara's name. Slumping in relief at the thought of Katara being alive and the possibility of his friend escaping and coming back to free him; just the thought brought him to tears.
It was the guilty look in her eyes, and how she refused to look at him; the Fire Nation armor that encased her whole body. It was in the smugness that was dripping from Azula when she came back, and the way she leaned on the wall behind her as she waited for an explosive show to entertain her.
"Why…?" That was the only thing Zuko could croak, many emotions warring inside him (Pain, anger, disbelief, betrayal, hate) not knowing what to say or do, other than settle on croaking that one word. 'How could you?!' He wanted to scream. 'Aang trusted you!' He wanted to break things and cry. 'How could you betray us like this?!' He wanted to shake the younger girl and scream at her until she got back to her senses. 'You traitor!' He wanted to attack, to burn, to do something to the little girl who betrayed them and sold them out when she was supposed to stand right beside them.
"I did what has to be done…" Katara ended up saying, kneeling beside him to heal him, only to get slapped by Zuko, and even then, Katara did nothing but bite her lower lip before raising her hands to heal his broken arm, ignoring the glare sent her way, ignoring the betrayal light shining in Zuko's eyes at the thought of Katara (Katara! The one who stood by Aang from the beginning, the one who protected him and stood for what was right. Katara! The thirteen-year-old who always followed Aang, her puppy crush shining clearly to everyone as she blushed at every praise and every smile) betraying Aang.
"The others?" Zuko breathed out, wanting to know what happened to the others, what happened to Sokka, Suki, Toph, and the others; he couldn't help but wonder if they were still alive, working under Azula and Ozai, or if were they like him, imprisoned in a dark cell being broken and destroyed from the inside out.
The guilt and pain look intensified, and Zuko could only close his eyes and lean on the walls behind him, biting his tongue to stop himself from screaming, when the fate of the rest of his friends was confirmed. "I have no time for useless attachment if I wanted to protect my people and Sokka…" Zuko pulled his arm away, turning his back to Katara; trying with all his might to ignore the joyful laugh Azula let out…
He won't… break…
"She was just like you…" Ozai suddenly said, and Zuko didn't even need the older man to tell him who the 'She' he was talking about. "Rebellious, stubborn, Kunze. She never listened to reason even when she should have known her place. I was her mate, her Qianyuan, but still, even then, she chose another." Suddenly, for the first time in all of his visits, the cell was opened and Ozai walked it, causing Zuko to scramble into a fighting stand as he glared at the man, preparing to strike down if it came to it. "Even when I killed that annoying pest, she called beloved; she still didn't listen to reason, she still chose another, even when I forgave her again and again, promising to give her whatever she wanted again and again if she just listened." Ozai stood a few paces away, a mad light shining in his eyes causing Zuko's hackles to rise.
"Why are you telling me this?" Zuko spat, his eyes darting around as he formulated a plan to escape, even when he knew his body was fighting against him, and that the only reason he was standing when his body was ready to collapse was because of spit and anger.
"You are just like her…" The way Ozai said those words with a tone that made the fine hair on Zuko's arms stand on their ends, and he felt a forbidden feeling come over him. "No matter how many chances I gave, no matter how many times I let your antics slide; you never listen, always the stubborn child who never knows his place… the Kunze who refused to know his place." Another step forward, making Zuko take a step back, his heart pounding in his throat as an unadulterated fear took a gripe of his whole being when he spotted how the mad light in his father's eyes intensified. "You chose another, and even when I killed him, you still chose the Avatar." Another step forward, another step back, until Zuko's back was greeted by the bricks that stopped his movement. "But that doesn't matter; you are here, and this time… I will make sure you choose right." With that Ozai left the cell…
…. He… he won't b-break…
Even when he was suddenly dragged outside of his cell, being held tightly as the guard brought him to the outside world after what seemed like months; ignoring his snarling, cursing, and shrieking as he promised them a painful retribution and tried to escape with every step of the way. Even when Zuko was forced to kneel in the dirt, his heart suddenly stopped when he spotted his uncle; his uncle who was tied by shackles, so thick, Zuko wondered how the man was still standing with all that weight.
Even when Zuko could only watch, tears clouding his eyes as his uncle finally noticed him, pain and relief shining in the older man's eyes when he spotted him; even when Zuko tried to fight his way to his uncle, hoping that he would be able to free his father-figure (His father, the one who stood beside him; the one who protected him, the one who left everything for him, and hide his true nature because unknowing to Zuko at that time, Iroh knew what his deranged brother would have done to his son if the news about him being a Kunze reached him) so the two of them would escape.
"Ignite."
Even when Azula laughed and laughed, and Zuko screamed and cried as he fought his way to his uncle; even when the older man stood with his back straight and gave Zuko one last smile, through the haze of pain. Even when his father sneered and spat that one word that would bring forth a wave of nightmares that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Even when he wept and choked on his tears and the scent of burned flesh; even as he was forced to kneel until the fire was finally out and everyone had left, and the morning turned into night…
….. He won't… break…
…(Fire of all colors surrounded them, some with shades that Zuko had never seen before, all holding a degree of warmth that Zuko never felt with the burning fire he was used to; a gasp left his lips as he felt his heart pounded, and warmth flooding his whole being. "I understand…" Zuko whispered, his wide eyes never leaving the holy sight in front of him.
No, no! He doesn't understand, he doesn't want to! No more, no more, no more!
Fire was warmth, it was protection; a little sun inside of you to nurture and protect you when everything stood against you. The fire that would guide you through life when all paths became dark and you felt lost; it was acceptance, and belonging when you felt rejection and coldness from all around…
No, it was rage, it was hurt, it was betrayal; a never-healing wound that festered and festered…
Fire… fire was love, the love you give and the one you feel, a fuzzy and tingly sensation that embraces you when you stand beside your special person; it was happiness, and the simple joys of life that would spark interest within you. Fire was passion in all of its forms, guiding you higher and higher until you shine brighter; fire was a harmony of souls.
Love hurts, happiness could be snuffed out at any second; passion brought nothing but pain… harmony? The less said the better….
Slowly, Zuko reached his hand out and took hold of Aang's, gazing at the boy's grey eyes, and watching the colors flicker on them, turning them into twinkling jewels. "Do you understand?" Zuko whispered, his heart pounding in his chest, wondering if he was the only one who felt this way and if he was the only one who understood. A second passed, and Zuko almost let go, feeling embarrassed at his foolishness, and he almost scolded himself for daring to do something so forward like this. It was the gentle tug on his hand, the joyful smile on Aang's face, and the soft kiss they shared as they were surrounded by fire, that told Zuko… Aang understood him.
They were wrong… they never understood a thing)…
…he… he won't… break…
Even if the pain and blood filled the cold, unwelcoming cell. Even when Zuko held his screams of pain as he felt like he was going to be ripped in two; even when he felt nothing but terror and confusion as he didn't understand what was happening to him. Even when denial choked him until he thought all air left his lungs, and his tears clouded his eyes until he could no longer see; even when his body betrayed him and refused to listen to his desperate pleas, and started to push against his will, trying to bring him a precious life he doesn't know how to protect from this dark and cruel world.
Even when the pain didn't seem to end, and he thought he was going to die… even when he thought they were both going to die… he didn't know how he survived but he did… he did and he held a baby in his arms… a baby he never asked for, a baby he didn't know about; a baby he didn't know if it was a bless or a curse sent to him from the Spirits beyond… Aang's last gift to him before that stupid teen left him and died…
She was so tiny, and Zuko feared hurting her just by holding her in his arms. So small… and she had Aang grey eyes and smile… she was his, she was Aang's; she was so tiny, and she had Aang's beautiful eyes and gentle smile. Zuko could only choke on his sobs as he held his baby in his arms, begging every Spirit out there, every deity out there; begging Agni, begging Tui and La, begging Oma and Shu, and the long-forgotten Lung-ta… begging and begging and praying for salvation and protection against those who wished them ill…
He… won't…
Even when… "Who is he?!" His father snarled, for the first time the composed and indifferent mask was broken, and in its place was madness and rage that no one had witnessed before; a madness and rage that made even Azula terrified as she stood away from them as far as she could. "Who is he?!" His father spat once more, his grip tightening on Zuko's neck until dark spots danced before his eyes.
"G-gi-ve 'er b-back!" Zuko choked, even as he tried to push the madman off him with his weaning strength, even as he fought and fought and tried to save his baby who was held tightly in Azula's cruel hands. Even when he knew his body was useless after so many months in this cell followed by giving birth.
"She has grey eyes, father," Azula commented shakily; looking at his baby with a terrified look that told Zuko his sister for once in her life was not lying when showing her emotions. Even as the world came to a halt, the calm before the storm and his father looked at his child and then at Zuko with blazing eyes that promised pain and death.
"You are just like her… you never learn…" Even when his father spat these words, the air around them turned hot as the Qianyuan above him let his rage loose. "But that's fine… it's fine… I can teach you, and you will learn." Even as Zuko's scream rang through the dungeon and the scent of burned flesh choked every person and daughter who was taken away from him as soon as she was born, even…
…he… h-he won't…
Even when days passed and he was forgotten in his cell, even when the doors to the dungeon were never open again and the time was lost in the dark and damp cell. Even when he screamed and pleaded for someone (Anyone!) to come bring him his child back; even when the days passed and his body weakened and he knew he would die here… forgotten… alone… starved… until nothing but an emaciated corpse greeted his jailors when they decided to grace him with their presence once more…
…Even when he started hallucinating Aang in the corner of his eye, crying and prostrating and choking how 'Sorry' he was. Even when he knew he was losing it every time he screamed and shouted and spat venom and hate to the figment of imagination that dared to show up now of all times. Even when… "It's all your fault! Your fault! You should have killed him! You should have! You promised me, Avatar! You promised! You said we would win together, and that if we lost, we would lose together too! Tell me, where are you now? Why did you leave us alone?!" He sobbed and screamed and threw accusations at the ghost standing not that far away, even when he repeated the same words 'Where are you?' and 'You promised!' and 'Why?' over and over again. Even as his strength left him, and all he could do was lie on the damp floor waiting for death to come to claim him, even when…
… H-he…
"Zuzu…" Azula's voice rang through the cells, coming inside with a tray of food in her hand, and a worried look on her face as she knelt beside him and raised his body from the ground. "You can't die now, Zuzu, if you do, then how can you meet your daughter?" That got a reaction from Zuko who blinked his eyes and turned to his sister, mouthing his daughter's name as he tried to banish the fog that all but consumed him.
"W-where…?" Zuko mumbled, almost choking when his sister forced the water down his throat, causing him to cough and cough but feel grateful for the smooth liquid soothing his parched throat. "Whe-re i-s sh…e?" Zuko rasped out, his question ignored as his sister put the trey in his lap before standing up.
"Don't worry, father's orders; you will soon leave this place and be reunited with your daughter…" Azula said, her face scrunched, and her ever-present smile and taunts were absent.
Her words made Zuko's eyes sting, and his heart pounded in his chest. Oh, how much Zuko wanted to be suspicious of his sister and wanted to call her a liar, but he was just so, so tired and he wanted (Needed) to believe that maybe the Spirits had finally heard his pleas and granted him a boon. He wanted to believe that somehow his father had taken pity on him and that he would offer him a deal; whatever Ozai wanted, Zuko would do if it meant he would get his daughter back.
"Eat up, brother; after all, you can't see your daughter if you don't." Hope reignited in Zuko's heart at the thought of seeing his daughter soon, his daughter whom he hadn't seen in days (Weeks?).
With shaky hands, he gripped the spoon and took bite after bite from the stew, forcing the food down his stomach even when he felt full and sick after the first bite; trying to convince himself that everything was going to be alright and that as soon as he was finished, he would see his daughter… It's ok… Zuko chanted inside his mind as he forced another bite through his dry and cracked lips, feeling so tired and drained just by raising his spoon to take another bite… It's ok, just one more bite, just one more, and then we can go and see her… Zuko closed his eyes trying to control how sick he was getting the longer he forced the food down his throat, but he knew that if he didn't finish his food, then he wouldn't be allowed to see his baby… Just a little bit longer, Aang, and we will see our…
Clank!
Zuko frowned in confusion, wondering why his spoon would hit the bottom when he wasn't even halfway through the bowl; the bowl was not shallow, and it was filled to the prime so he knew he hadn't reached the end. It was the retching that Azula let out and couldn't contain that made him look at her sharply, his heart all but stopped at the horror and disgust he saw in his sister's eyes… there was confusion… silence… denial… and then…
The world froze in its place as all Zuko could hear was statics; bile rose in his throat and choked him as his shaky hand reached down, wanting to know but at the same time he didn't… pure unadulterated horror and heart-wrenching pain consumed him at what greeted him in the bottom of the bowl…
…Until… he did…
…("Zuko…" His beloved whispered, taking a seat beside him, and all but pulled Zuko into a tight hug, making Zuko smile as he felt the warmth coming from Aang. "What are your plans after the war ends?" Aang asked, and Zuko blinked in surprise before pursing his lips, turning his gaze to the river under the Western Air Temple.
"I don't know, I never thought about it before," Zuko admitted, biting his lower lip in concentration. "Back then, before joining you; all I could think about was capturing you and returning back home. Now? I could only think of defeating Father, I don't think I have time to think about the after… I…" I don't want to be disappointed when they don't come true… Zuko thought the last part to himself.
"Then… why don't we leave?" Aang suddenly asked, his words made Zuko let out a shocked 'Huh?'. "We can just leave; your uncle can be the new Fire Lord, and I am sure everyone wanted to return to their homes to rebuild. The two of us can say our goodbyes and just… leave…" Zuko's breath hitched, his gaze taking in Aang's eyes as they twinkled with excited light.
"And where would we go?" Zuko couldn't help but ask, part of him wanted to scold Aang for thinking like this (Leaving when everyone no doubt would need them after the war was over) but the majority of Zuko, was excited, even when he tried to bury that feeling down, he couldn't help his fluttering heart and the excitement that took over him at the thought of leaving with Aang after all of this was over.
Aang's grin widened, happiness shining in his grey eyes, and Zuko couldn't help smiling from how contiguous his beloved's smile was. "We have the whole world to decide, but if you want to have a destination, well…" At that, Aang pulled Zuko to his chest and leaned to whisper in his ear. "Tell me, did you ever hear about the Holy City of Lung-ta?" Zuko hummed, feeling lighter and happier as Aang continued to tell him of the many destinations they could travel to.
They just needed to win this war, and after that, they could be free…)…
"No! Please, please! Mercy!" Cries of pain, screams of terror; explosions rocking the buildings, and people running as far away as they could to save their lives. Fire swiped along the way, but not any kind of fire, it was a fire that made people scream in fear and fall to their knees, pleading and begging Agni for forgiveness for every misdeed; it was a fire that burned hotter and hotter by the second, and refused to be snuffed out even after hours had passed… a fire that was never seen, a fire that was never believed to be possible; a fire that was told to be wielded by only one entity in the existence, and that was Agni himself…
The black fires of Agni…
Zuko hummed happily, a wide grin taking over his face as he walked through the fire to reach his destination; mouthing the words of a song long forgotten but was sung to him by his beloved once upon a time. "Already leaving, father?" Zuko called out with a grin after kicking the doors to the throne room, his words making his father who was about to leave turn to Zuko.
"You are still alive." His father said after a while of silence, his words summoning a guttered laugh from Zuko whose eyes refused to leave Ozai as he stalked toward him, like a predator cornering a prey.
"Why the surprised face?" Zuko asked with a tilted head and a grotesque smile painted on his lips. "Why? Did you hope I would die from starvation after locking me down there for years? Or did you by chance hope that Azula would do it out of pity?" Fire ignited in Zuko's hands and Zuko relished in the look of shock and disbelief, and when looking deep down, Zuko couldn't help but grin at the traces of fear he managed to detect, a look that matched Azula's when she knew Zuko would never let her leave without the retribution she deserved. "Didn't I tell you, father? As soon as I get out, I will show you everything I have learned." With that Zuko pounced.
The sound of the crackling fire was overshadowed by Ozai's dying screams…
Zuko stood on the wall separating the palace from the rest of Caldera; ignoring the screams and cries that reached his ears, cries that turned into weeping and prayers for Agni to spare him. Zuko walked on the fence with a practice move not swaying even when the wind howled; reaching his destination he stopped, gazing at the metal rod with blank eyes before kicking it until it broke.
Something fell down, and it was only his fast reflexes that made Zuko catch it before it fell and shattered into a million tiny pieces. "Aang…" Zuko whispered, his fingers gently tracing his beloved's bones; a long time had passed, before Zuko finally took a seat on the bricked fence, his eyes never leaving what was left of his beloved tracing the bone gently over and over again.
"It has been years..." Zuko leaned down, letting out a tired breath as his forehead leaned gently on the bones. "I am not angry… not anymore… not about your lies and not about… not about our baby…" Zuko suddenly said after an hour or two before falling silent once more. There were many things that Zuko wanted to say, many scolds he wanted to give his beloved, and many angry huffs and accusations, but sitting here with what was left of his beloved; Zuko found himself coming empty, not knowing what to say or do, other than gazing at the bones in his hands.
"I should have known you wouldn't… couldn't… kill, no matter how much you reassured us you could do it; you were too soft-hearted, and I couldn't blame you for it, not when it was what drew me to you in the first place." The scent of smoke filled the place, choking everyone in the vicinity; the screams and cries had become far and few as silence almost dominated the place. "You said together… you lied… that's ok, though… everybody lies… you saw how it went with Katara…" Zuko hummed, raising his eyes to gaze at the city that was once upon a time his home.
"You know… I have made so many mistakes in the past, even before we met…" Zuko whispered his eyes not leaving the destruction his fire brought. "Mistakes I never thought I could rectify… and yet…" Silence, the only sound that could be heard was the crackling of the fire and the explosions now and then. "If I could go back… I would have stolen you away in the middle of the night so the two of us could just leave; don't worry, though, I would have written our friends a letter… which is almost polite considering we were going to leave them to the devil, but I am sure they would have understood…" A caress to the frontal bone and a small smile.
"If I could go back…" I would have done better, I would have taught you better; maybe then you could have abandoned your moralities, and this wouldn't have happened. "If I could…" Then you wouldn't have died, uncle would still be around, and nothing bad would have happened to our baby. "If I…" Knew how to wield such power back then, if I had known my destiny earlier than I did this time; if I had come with you to fight Ozai on that airship…
"So… tired…" Zuko mumbled, gazing at the sky, trying to see any glimpse of the stars with all the smoke and fire that dominated the world around him; times passed in silence before Zuko stood up, humming before closing his eyes. "If we met again, I promise, this time I…" Zuko smiled, letting his words hang in the air, his smile widening as he felt a breeze ruffling his hair; moving forward toward the fire…
…Zuko jumped…
"Zuko! Zuko!" A concerned voice calling his name, a cold hand on his forehead, a soft tap on his cheek… and Zuko groaned, choking down a whimper, as a cry wanted to leave his lips when he felt the left side of his face burning. The shaky breath left through his gritted teeth as he tried to force his eyes open, only his right eye opened, while his left continued to burn. Overwhelmed with pain, Zuko's mind tried to make sense of what was going on, even when he felt that he was going to faint any minute now from how painful everything was. "Zuko, can you hear me? Nephew." A familiar voice filled with concern called to him, and Zuko could only turn to the source.
"U… uncle?" Zuko whispered in disbelief, taking in the sight of his uncle; feeling his eye stinging and blurring from the tears. To think, Zuko would end up seeing his uncle before walking to the Spirits' world… just the thought alone made sobs wreck his body. "So-sorry…" His voice cracked as he repeated those words over and over, and he didn't even know why he was apologizing. Sorry for not being able to save you? For letting you die? For being weak? For not killing Ozai and Azula sooner?
"Shh, it's ok, nephew; everything is going to be fine." His uncle whispered his hand coming to pat the top of his head. "It was not your fault, you did right, you stood for what was right… it was your father's fault for challenging a child to Agni Kai." Iroh growled before stopping himself and apologizing, standing up to call the healer. Not that Zuko was paying attention as he felt a chill running down his spine, his breath frozen in his chest, as his uncle's words repeated in his head over and over again.
Agni Kai…
A child?
How…? Wha…?
…If I could go back…
The last thought slammed into Zuko with the strength of one of Toph's boulders, freezing him in place as his shaky hand unconsciously went to his left eye; immediately coming into contact with bandages that encased the whole left side of his face…. If I could go back… whispered in his mind once more, and Zuko wanted to laugh, he wanted to laugh and laugh and laugh until he was nothing but a wheezing mess at the turn of events…
He was back…
Back before everything had started…
Back to the beginning…
Back before that wretch, Ozai destroyed everything good in life…
Before his uncle was burned…
Before they were betrayed…
Before the torture…
Before his baby was…
…Back before Aang died…
He was back to the day he was banished, by the look of the Fire Nation armor on his uncle, and the less grey and more black he saw in his uncle's hair. Zuko let out a hysterical laugh, not being able to control himself anymore, ignoring his uncle's concerned look as he urged the healer to come faster.
Zuko laughed, laughed, and laughed until he was breathless, thanking every deity out there; thanking Agni, thanking La and Tui, thanking Oma and Shu, and the long-forgotten Lung-ta. Another chance… Zuko was given another chance… a chance to make things right, to make things right! A chance to…
Aang…
Zuko stopped laughing, his breath hitching as tears made themselves known… Aang… Aang… a chance to change things for good; a chance to make Aang see reason… a chance to make him abandon his stupid morality that was their downfall… a chance to… to save their daughter… another chance… and this time… this time…
By Agni… Ozai's retribution would be ten times worse…
So, what do you think?
Do I hate myself for ignoring my other thousand ongoing stories? …Well, that's up for debate…
To be honest, I have been suffering from burnout this past month or so coupled with writer's block that prevents me from writing and posting my other stories.
It was only one of my friends pestering me about watching ATLA (After the NALTA got out, which they wouldn't shut about) that I was even inspired to write once more.
At first, I was resistant to the idea of watching the original show; mainly because my first introduction to the Avatar fandom years ago was the live adaptation movie, which even at the age of ten I knew sucked, and it had ruined ATLA for me (Don't ask me how I haven't managed to watch the original cartoon until now and jumped straight into the movie back then, even I don't know the answer, and my brat-self refused to make sense…)
And well, after watching the original… I can honestly say that Zuko and Aang's relationship in the show really captivated me and it was enough to inspire me to write this story! I do believe if Aang was aged up or Zuko was aged down, Zukaang tag would have ruled the ALTA fandom a long time ago… too bad they aren't, because honestly, the Enemies to Friends to Lovers (My favorite) with those two would have been legendary!
Read and Review
And tell me what you think…
Nazaki-Sama