donkey kong one day was hiding in the bushes. he really wanted t o use his jar. he really wanted to shrink someone and kidnap them in his jar and use them as his toy!
donkey kong waited for a long time in the bushes. but suddenly, he saw that stupid princess zelda! she was walking down the streets like an idiot while singing shitty zelda songs to herself like an egotistical cunt. link was also walking down with her while screaming 'yah haw twah' like the looney toon he is.
donkey kong knew he had to take action! first he jumped in front of link and zelda and said "wooba wooba dooba!" zelda screamed like a moron while link kept mindlessly yelling his usual grunts like a moron, as well. donkey kong took link's sword and shoved it up link's ass! donkey kong shoved link's sword so far up link's ass it showed up through link's mouth. donkey kong ate link's dead corpse with the sword inside like he was a shish kebab!
when donkey kong was done eating link, he saw zelda ranting about how great she was and how she'll kill donkey kong. donkey kong laughed and got out his shrinking ray! he zapped that stupid elf and zelda was shrunk down to a tiny size, tiny enough that donkey kong was able to trap her in his jar! zelda was horrified she was stuck in donkey kong's jar! but little did she know, donkey kong had more planned for her.
donkey kong shoved the jar with zelda inside up his ass! donkey kong said 'ooh ooh ah ah' as he shoved that jar in and out of his butt! the jar was covered in more and more of donkey kong's stinky ape poop as princess zelda had to watch from inside the jar she was stuck in all the gross poop that covered the jar as well as the insides of donkey kong's hairy butthole. she was so grossed out!
when donkey kong was done playing with the jar, he opened and and shat diarrhea all inside the jar with princess zelda in it! zelda was powerless against the tidal wave of gorilla diarrhea as she drowned in the stinky wet poop! zelda swam and gargled on donkey kong's feces as donkey kong enjoyed unloading his poop onto the royalty of hyrule.
when donkey kong was done pooping, he took the poopy jar with zelda still in it and went to his home hut in the jungle. he took zelda outside the jar, covered in poop, and he ate her fucking head off! blood and poop sprayed from princess zelda's headless body as donkey kong ate more and more of princess zelda until there was nothing left of her! donkey kong licked the blood and poop off his hands as he went out to go visit hyrule.
donkey kong saw the kingdom of hyrule. unknown to those stupid hyrulians, donkey kong had placed a nuke underneath the ground of hyrule that he was about to set off! donkey kong pressed the nuke button, and immediately hyrule was no more! hyrule had been completely nuked out of existence, barely anything remaining after the explosion was finished. all the hyrulians were reduced to ash, all the buildings and objects were reduced to dust, all the animals were barely even edible they were so dead, all the nature was reduced to nothing but dirt and rocks and debris. hyrule was gone for good. donkey kong clapped with his poop covered hands while saying 'ook ook ook' happily because he had just destroyed hyrule and all the hyrulians! hooray!