I hadn't thought it possible, but i found Bella occupying more of my mind than ever before. I could picture her face while listening to music, hear her laughter combined within the intricate notes of the orchestra. The taste of her blood was still present in my memory when hunting animals, making it more of a challenge despite the need to return to normalcy. The brilliant red of her eyes stared back at me whenever i closed my own and the palpable tension when we were around each other felt like a physical weight in my chest. This is why i now found myself struggling to sit in the school cafeteria acting like nothing was wrong.

Bella may have agreed to stay with us, but there was no denying she was more cautious than before. She remained relaxed with Esme and Carlisle, offering smiles to Rose and Jasper while enjoying the almost daily rematch with Emmett, but her barriers remained up with myself and Alice. She wasn't as interactive as before, almost nervous around Alice though with Jasper's gift i could see it was partially suppressed disappointment. I didn't need him to feel the extra intensity of her loathing when we were together. I tried to leave quickly and give her space when she entered a room; if i didn't, she would likely head off to her cottage alone or we would end up fighting. Not always physical, but verbally we found it difficult to hold back. It was obvious she didn't want to cause tension with everyone, but our dynamic had shifted since the night her father visited and, at times, it was unavoidable. After a week of this and Bella spending less time at the house, particularly in the day with Esme, i decided the next Monday would be the right time for my return to school, ignoring my hesitancy at being away from her.

The students were surprised to see me, rumours of my absence circulating furiously but nothing too concerning. A couple of conspiring minds wondered if it was linked to Bella's disappearance, but nothing more than schoolyard theories. I could feel their eyes now and then, glancing over as if waiting for me to declare my guilt aloud; all they saw was a fidgeting teenage boy waiting for the day to end. At least no one could complain i wasn't acting human, though the dark contact lenses covering my still-burgundy eyes were particularly irritating.

My eyes found the clock again, foot tapping without conscious thought as i repressed a sigh. How could time pass so slowly for an immortal? High school was always tediously dull to me, but this was another level. I returned to face the window, clenching and unclenching my fists as i fought with myself to stop clock watching. My impatience frustrated me as i contemplated excuses to leave and head home early.

What's up with you today? Jasper's mental question and his observant eyes were paying close attention, noticing how tightly i was bound. I don't think i've ever seen you this tense.

I made a conscious effort to stop my tapping and relax my hands, leaning back in my seat with an exhale. I continued with the small movements that kept the human facade in place, but it wasn't long before the fidgeting restarted. A vampire's natural state was complete stillness and i couldn't understand why i struggled to adhere to it. As a distraction, i decided to pay attention to the buzz of minds surrounding me rather than blocking them out. There was very little of interest; one girl hoping the boy sitting nearby liked her, one thinking about his upcoming birthday and another wondering if the fluorescent lighting was giving her a headache, all trivial thoughts that i quickly tired away from as my eyes again glanced to the clock.

Jasper wasn't the only one amused by my antics. Emmett watched me with interest and audibly chuckled as i forced my gaze back to the window. Bit distracted, are we Eddie? Something, or someone, on your mind?

A barely audible grumble escaped me, rolling my eyes as he pictured Bella with another chuckle. If i didn't know any better, I'd say you've got it bad.

My movements finally stilled as i stared at Emmett, his amusement increasing at the blank look on my face. "What?"

"Just saying, man." He teased as the others tuned into our conversation. "Everything about you is practically announcing it, you can't even sit still."

"That doesn't mean the same thing." My voice was low, though still surprised. "Being here is more difficult than i expected, that's all."

And i wonder why that is? Emmett grinned as a growl escaped me, rising to the bait rather than ignoring it. I forced myself to stay seated and quiet down, though my glare still held his gaze. What was wrong with me?

"What did we miss?" Rosalie's eyes were glancing between the two of us, uncertain of the change of atmosphere as Jasper frowned in concentration, my words and mood making him wonder if it was too soon to be around human blood again.

"Nothing." I was quick to reply, not dropping my annoyed stare at Emmett.

"Just think about it."

"I don't need to."

"Will you two stop arguing like children? We have enough of that at home." Rosalie's tone was of frustration, though mostly towards me as usual.

"I'm only trying to help Edward see the truth around his own stubbornness." Another trait you both share, he finished with a pointed grin, another growl emitting from me.

"Good luck with that." Jasper's amused laugh echoed his sentiment as Alice remained puzzled, asking at the same time; "What truth? What's going on?"

I glowered at him in warning, but he ignored me with a laugh, shaking his head before responding. "I think Edward may like a certain dark-haired vampire."

What are we, back in elementary school? I grumbled to myself as i folded my arms.

There was silence for a moment before amused laughter echoed around the table, one laugh shriller than usual. I focused on Alice, who was avoiding my eyes and her mind concentrating on an old, Aramaic scripture in Carlisle's study. This surprised and quickly concerned me; why would she be hiding her thoughts?

"What don't you want me to see, Alice?" She refused to meet my eyes and continued her mental reading, acting like i hadn't spoken.

"Oh shoot, am i right?" Emmett was smug, frustrating me again.

I turned to him with a huff of exasperation as i spoke. "Emmett, in what world would Bella and i ever be together?" Even speaking it aloud sounded ridiculous, yet it was enough for Alice to slip. She quickly worked to regain her focus again, but it was enough for me to catch a glimpse.

My palms dropped loudly to the table as i gawked at the petite vampire. The others were startled by my reaction, eyes flicking between the two of us uncertainly. "What was that?!"

"It's exactly what you saw, Edward." Her eyes finally meet mine, resigned and honest with her reply. "It's not concrete, but there's a strong possibility."

The image was nothing sordid, generally quite innocent. I had seen myself and Bella in a meadow i used to regularly frequent, walking beside each other hand in hand. A small glance, Bella shyly ducking her head with a nervous smile as our eyes meet. Everything about the moment was sweet and affectionate; everything we weren't.

"I don't understand..." My voice trailed off as i tried to make sense of the vision, my fingers pulling through my hair. "How is that even possible?"

I watched in stunned silence as more images began to flash through Alice's mind, all of Bella and I. The two of us hunting together, Bella laughing with gentle eyes as we shared the love seat, reading together by the fire in her cottage, smiling affectionately at her as we admired the landscape from a tall tree. They had a faded haze, normal for Alice's non-solid visions, but there were still brightly visible. All of them screamed one word; love.

You do understand, you just refuse to consider it.

Struggling to absorb this potential future, my eyes closed and i pinched the bridge of my nose as i tried to regain my thoughts. "You're telling me we're..." My voice was strained, as if something was stuck in my throat. "We may be... mates?" I forced out the word i never expected to use, my eyes opening to stare at her again. "Bella?!"

My voice raised at the end in disbelief, gaze dropping to the table while her visions continued to circle in my mind. The rest of the family had frozen at my words, not expecting it any more than i had. Even Emmett looked shocked by the reveal, despite being the trigger.

"It's the only thing that makes sense, Edward. Of course, this doesn't factor in Bella's reaction or choice if this is true." Alice examined the visions again before adding an afterthought. Although, she does look happy.

It was hard to absorb her words, shock still the prominent emotion. Rosalie was furious beyond words, though i couldn't blame her protectiveness for Bella kicking in at the news. After everything I'd done, what I'd put her through, it felt wrong to even consider; i could never be worthy of Bella and why would she want me?

"I knew it!" Emmett was the first to recover, never too serious for long. "It explains so much!"

"How can this possibly be a good thing?" Rosalie's outrage was barely contained as she addressed her husband.

"Everything adds up; the instant draw he had, his reactions when he saw her as a vampire, his constant awareness of her and his protectiveness coming out to spare her from harm. He loves her; they're fated!"

I winced at his conclusion, not realizing he'd been paying that much attention.

"That doesn't prove anything!" Rosalie rolled her eyes at his reasoning, scoffing at the ridiculousness of it all. "His nature got the better of him and he attacked. He's wary in case she goes for him again, as he should be!" I nodded at her words; that made a lot more sense to me, though it didn't feel right to agree.

"Have you never noticed the look on his face when he sees her happy? You only see that expression when love is involved."

I may be struggling to accept his theory, but i had to give him credit; he was much more observant than I'd ever believed. They continued to debate as if i wasn't there, my known world crumbling beneath my tense frame. My mind wandered back over those memories; the instinct to help and comfort her, my anger from fear, stunned by her beauty, rejecting his theory until i recalled the moment of her laughing after beating Emmett in their first arm wrestle. Seeing her enjoying herself, gleeful and without the edge she held around me, i couldn't resist the reactive smile I'd had in the moment or ignore the warmth that filled my cold, stone body. It wasn't a sensation I'd felt before and I'd quickly shoved it away when she'd noticed me, but i wondered about it now. Is that what love felt like?

It doesn't matter. I admonished myself, folding my arms again. You've destroyed her life enough; there's no need to add more to the list. Never reveal the possibility to her and it won't happen. She can then move on when she's ready and live her life without more interference from me.

I immediately found myself struggling with the feeling that presented, the image of her walking away for good bringing physical pain. Bella had agreed to a year and, after that, she could go where she pleased; it was for the best. Yet, why did i feel so ill at ease with that knowledge? The clawing sensation returned to my chest with a feeling of suffocation as my eyes closed in pain. Despite it not being necessary, i suddenly found it difficult to breathe as air hissed through my gritted teeth. Did vampires have panic attacks? I could sense the others staring at me again, Jasper's steely gaze examining my difficulties and the only other who could sense the pain. That's probably why i suddenly felt his calming influence wrapping around me as i pulled shaky breaths in, absorbing the sensation.

Stop torturing yourself. His tone was of brotherly concern, but it didn't seem to offer much relief. If it's meant to be, then it will happen in time. Why fret over something you can't control or may not be true?

I nodded at his words, even though he'd misunderstood my reaction. I gradually got my breathing back under control, opening my eyes again to examine the uncertain expressions before me. I offered a tight, reassuring smile and then froze as i realized they weren't the only ones watching. At a nearby table, a couple of humans had heard my exclamation of Bella's name, seen my panic and now contemplated the reason for it. I monitored them for a little longer, relaxing when they eventually decided i had always been unusual and maybe i suffered with anxiety. Seeing they were no longer a threat, i returned my focus to the others and answered the main question on their minds.

"It's not going to happen; i won't do anything about it." I ignored the sharp pain i felt at those words and continued talking, still slightly breathless. "Bella can live her life as she chooses and i won't influence that, it's the least i can do."

Finally talking sense. I ignored Rose's jibe as Jasper continued to watch me, still feeling my pain. He raised an eyebrow in question; are you sure? I pushed the heavy feeling down and nodded; what other choice was there?

Alice looked disappointed, flicking back through the images of a happy Bella and myself in wonder, thinking to herself. Is he really this oblivious?

I left her to it as Emmett's gaze caught mine again, apologetic for the can of worms he'd opened but a question in his mind. Is that possible if you're in love with her?

"I'm not, Emmett, that was your thought, not mine."

His expression was doubtful, shaking his head as he stood up for his next class. His hand clamped down on my shoulder in support, remaining there for a second before leaving with a final thought.

Just think it through, brother.

I remained where i was a little longer as the rest of my family left, considering his words. How did you know when you were in love? For all i knew, this could be Alice's influence towards a future she desired; you could lie in your mind after all. Although, thinking back to her expression, she seemed to be speaking a hesitant truth. I contemplated the warm feeling at Bella's happiness and the sharp pain at her future without us, but i didn't feel it was enough evidence to support the mate theory.

Releasing a sigh, i shook my thoughts away and headed towards my own class, knowing this wasn't something i would figure out in five minutes. The feeling in my chest became heavier, as if my stone heart was sinking, but i refused to consider the meaning as i prepared to endure the rest of the day.

.

Approaching the house, i could hear through Esme's mind her pleasant conversation with Bella, talking about the plants in the garden with pride. Bella admired them and praised her efforts, pausing to take in the scent of the potted flowers with a contended smile on her face. She looked peaceful, enjoying the moment and the scents surrounding her; exquisite.

Do i need to ask him again? Seems obvious to me.

Emmet's thoughts interrupted my focus, noting the smile that had appeared without my realization. I forced it away and returned to a neutral state at the same moment the sound of the car registered with Bella. Her smile faded, her head immediately turning towards the front of the house as her wariness returned. Still, she followed Esme to the front of the house to welcome us back, arriving as Jasper parked up. She fixed a polite smile as we got out and greeted them both, her eyes visibly cooling as she met my uncertain ones with apprehension.

"Managed to spare the other students i see?"

Her words were partially jest and sarcasm, noting my burgundy eyes hadn't increased in brightness now the contacts had faded away. I met her gaze with my now standard jerk smirk, matching her tone as i got closer.

"Delightful to see you too, Izzy. Destroy anything else in the house today?"

Her scowl returned at the nickname then mumbling almost inaudibly, sounding like "I'll destroy you in a minute" before retreating into the house. Alice quickly followed, hoping to get some time with her before she went to the cottage. I left the family to enter the house as i headed around the back, giving them time together. I found my hours emptier now the cottage was complete, enjoying the days and nights spent rebuilding to Esme's vision and including what we felt Bella may enjoy. For now, i climbed one of the nearby trees to watch the sunset and to continue contemplating our lunchtime discussion for a few hours. My return usually was a good trigger for Bella to go out hunting, so i usually timed it as darkness fell.

It wasn't long later, however, that the sound of the back door opening and quick movements below quickly caught my attention. Peering down, i saw Bella alone moving in the direction of the cottage, Alice's mental tone was upset though i couldn't see the cause. I didn't think of a plan before i addressed her.

"Heading somewhere?"

Bella immediately stopped as she looked in the direction of my voice, surprised when i dropped down in front of her. Her stance was immediately defensive, eyes staring hard as diamonds as i blocked her path. "What's it to you?"

I remained in her way as i tried to calmly talk with her, Alice listening nearby. "Look, i know we have our issues-"

"We? I think we both know the cause, don't you?"

Her eyes hardened further, defensive posture still in place as she looked ready to get around me by force if she had to.

Fated mates? Yeah, that's going to happen.

I shook the bemused thought away, keeping my tone polite yet serious as my arms folded. "This isn't about me, Bella. I wanted to talk about Alice."

She didn't respond verbally, though i saw the flicker of surprise across her expression at my unexpected direction. I continued before she ran away from me again.

"I know you're still upset with her and you know how sorry she is. I simply ask you direct your anger and hate where it's due. She's been there for you throughout and only did what i told her to-"

"Don't you dare try to guilt me!" Her anger returned in full force as, in her eyes, i speak out of turn. "Don't you think you've done enough without pulling others into it? Alice made the choice regardless of your influence, now leave me alone."

I should've known by now how she'd react to me when she felt antagonized. She stalked past, practically stomping in her anger as i was hit by the same feeling as before. The image of her turning her back and leaving restored the pain in my chest and, without thinking, my hand reached out and latched onto her bare wrist before she could go any further. I realized my mistake instantly as she froze, her head slowly turning back to face me with lethal eyes, hissing through her teeth as she ripped her arm away. I didn't resist, my hand releasing her a moment before she snatched it back but not due to fear. Aside from that first day, i'd never been the first to initiate contact; was that what triggered the jolt of electricity i could feel?

I didn't have long to contemplate before i found myself hurled through the trees, snapping them apart like matchsticks. When my body hit the ground again, my eyes opened to watch her leering above me, poised in a hunting crouch and snarls ripping from her in rage. "Don't you ever touch me again!"

With a final snarl, she spun and ran as i watched her flee into the forest. I didn't give chase, letting my head slump back to the wet forest floor as i wondered about the jolt from grabbing her wrist: What was that? I'd never felt it when Bella had connected with me before, granted those had been attacks, but surely it would've been there if mere touch resulted in that sensation?

As i heard Alice and Carlisle coming to check on me, a couple of thoughts remained in my mind. The complexity of feelings i had around Bella needed serious consideration and, if Alice's visions were true, i was in for a hell of a difficult ride ahead.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays!

I've received some lovely feedback across the forums for this story and i thank you all for giving me confidence to continue, i love to see readers enjoying it :3