Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, the Characters, or any Game, Movie, or TV Show content that are mentioned in this FanFiction story. They belong to their respective owners, and I honor and respect their great works.
A ray of light shines down on a leather-bound storybook. The book opens to a beautiful princess on the right page with long, flowing blonde hair, wearing a blue royal dress with yellow fleur-de-lis symbols and a blue cone princess hat. In the background to her left was a castle standing at the top of a hill near some trees. A Scottish-accented voice narrator begins reading the text that was on the same page.
"Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess."
The book turns to the next page, revealing two different pictures on separate sides. On the left was a golden chalice decorated with round rubies and diamond sapphire jewels, seeping with light blue magic and golden six-pointed stars, and a red thin dragon slinking low behind it, the creature's direction pointing to the next page. On the right was the princess undergoing some kind of transformation with golden rays of magic surrounding her on all sides between a day and night cycle with the sun on the top-left corner of the page and the crescent moon on the bottom-right corner, both of which had faces watching over her. The text was split between the two pages.
"But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss."
The page turns again, now showing a large, fire-breathing red dragon guarding a tall stone castle on the fifth page on the right, its body curled around the structure.
"She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon."
The book turns to the sixth and seventh page, which depicts a fierce battle between a group of knights riding horses, armed with lances and spears on the left, and the dragon on the right, standing on its hind legs as four spears are thrown at it.
"Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed."
Finally, the book turns to the eighth and ninth page, showing the princess on the left, sleeping in a bed with blue veil curtains, it's base decorated with two navy blue and gold crosses and a blue and dark green shield in the center, and a prince with medium-length brown hair down on his left-knee on the right, wearing a knight's armor with a navy blue cape and gold trim, holding out a bouquet of flowers in his right-hand to his true love. Below the princess was the dragon, sleeping above the text.
"She waited in the Dragon's Keep in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss."
Suddenly, a large green hand rips out the page with the prince from the storybook, revealing the next page to be the wedding day of the prince and princess, standing underneath dozens of colorful banners held aloft by angels, and closes it.
"Heh, heh, heh... Like that's ever gonna happen." The same voice mocks, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the story
In a forest stood a wooden outhouse with a crescent moon silhouette cut out on the front door, where the Scottish voice originated from.
"What a load of..." The voice says
A toilet flushing is heard. The door to the outhouse swings open and out steps a large, green, humanoid Ogre with tube-like ears sticking out from his head, wearing a white tunic underneath a brown leather vest tied together, plaid pants and brown shoes. This was Shrek, an ogre who enjoyed a solitary life.
(All-Star by Smash Mouth - Starts)
Steve Harwell:
Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
The Ogre stretches his arms out, letting out a yawn, and tugs on his underwear with his right-hand before shaking his right-foot of the torn page still stuck to his shoe.
Steve Harwell:
She was lookin' kind of dumb
With her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Shrek places his hands at his waist and gazes out lovingly at the place he calls home, a swamp in the middle of the forest with a large tree stump raised from the ground. The tree was covered in mold and grass, and the stump was raised with the tree roots underneath, presumably from erosion on the ground which carried the soil away and lowered the ground level, giving the impression that the tree was off the ground. He lets out a relaxed sigh and walks down the path to his house, shutting the outhouse door behind him as he goes about his daily routine.
The Ogre grabs a wooden bucket, scoops up some mud, hangs the bucket on a tree branch, strips off his clothes, and pulls on a rope as he proceeds to take a mud shower. He scrubs his body with a dirty brush in his right-hand, gargles up some mud in his mouth and spits it out on the ground.
Steve Harwell:
Well, the years start comin'
And they don't stop comin'
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with takin' the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Afterwards, Shrek brushes his teeth with bug paste to make them dirtier and his breath nastier and stinkier. He looks at himself in a mirror with a smile and the mirror breaks.
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
Then, the Ogre jumps into a murky pond filled with some lily pads and cattails that he uses as his own personal pool. He lets loose a fart underwater and bubbles swell up to the surface behind him, along with a couple of red fish killed off by his foul flatulence. Shrek grabs one of the fish, likely for a snack, and exits the pond.
Steve Harwell:
And all that glitters is gold
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Only shooting stars break the mold
In the next part of his routine, Shrek pushes out clogs of mud from the inside of a log and gathers giant slugs for dinner.
Steve Harwell:
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
As the sun starts to set, Shrek stands out near a tree along the border of his swamp, painting something on a wooden board.
Steve Harwell:
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
The water's gettin' warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
Once he was done, Shrek lifts up the board in his hands and kisses it, leaving red paint around his lips, then sets it down on the ground. It was a warning sign he had made with a hideous, scary painting of his face on it. The sign had two red words painted on the top and bottom of his face that read:
BEWARE
OGRE
Next to this on the left was another warning sign he made with white words that simply said:
STAY
OUT
There was another picture of Shrek at a nearby village. But unlike the warning sign that he posted, this one was a poster nailed to the door of a tavern that said:
WANTED
OGRES
REWARD
Underneath the black word, WANTED was the picture of a hideous ogre, similar to the one that Shrek painted, and on both sides of the red word, REWARD was a pouch full of gold coins, which was lying around them in piles. The door to the tavern swings open and a group of ten male villagers gather around outside. One kneels down and draws the head of a stupid-looking Ogre on the ground with a stick, then draws a circle around it and three arrows pointing at the creature. These men were planning an attack on Shrek's home, to capture him and claim the reward. The villagers arm themselves with torches and pitchforks, while Shrek arms himself with a wooden spoon as he eats a bowl of giant eyeballs for supper.
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
Steve Harwell:
All that glitters is gold
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Only shooting stars break the mold
In his home, Shrek lights up a match, then burps into the flame, igniting his fireplace, while the group of villagers ignite their torches as they head into the forest. Afterwards, the Ogre drops the fish he grabbed earlier from the pond straight into his mouth, then kicks back and relaxes in his crocodile-skin armchair, putting his hands behind his head and crossing his legs one over the other. Outside, the villagers trample over Shrek's warning signs as they enter the swamp.
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
Shrek hears the commotion and goes to his window to investigate. Looking outside, he clearly sees the villagers coming from around the corner, approaching his home. The Ogre rolls his eyes and leaves the window to deal with them.
Steve Harwell:
All that glitters is gold
Steve Harwell, Greg Camp, and Paul De Lisle:
Only shooting stars break the mold
(All-Star by Smash Mouth - Ends)
The villagers slowly make their approach, completely unaware that Shrek was sneaking right behind them. One of the men pushes away the tall grass, giving them all a clear view of the Ogre's house.
"I think it's in there." Villager #1 says
"All right. Let's get it!" Villager #2 says stepping forward, eager to storm the house
"Hold on! Do you know what that thing can do to you?" Villager #1 whispers holding his left-arm out, stopping him
"Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread." Villager #3 whispers leaning over from the left
Suddenly, the group of men heard laughing. Turning around, they finally notice Shrek as he reveals himself, standing behind them.
"Ah ha ha ha. Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant." Shrek says
The villagers all gasp at the sight of him. His height towered over all of them.
"Now, Ogres, oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin." Shrek says slowly approaching the men while they backed away in fear
"No!" Villager #4 exclaims
"They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!" Shrek says pointing at his own eyes with his large fingers
Shrek puts his right index finger to his lips and glances off to the side briefly as he thought of the idea.
"Actually, it's quite good on toast." Shrek says
"Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!" Villager #2 yells waving his torch at the ogre's face
Shrek stared at the man with a smirk. Clearly, he wasn't unfazed by his threat. Licking his thumb and forefinger, the Ogre casually pinches out the flame on the torch, and the villagers gasped.
"Right..." Villager #2 says nervously smiling and dropping his torch
In that moment, Shrek unleashes a loud, frightening roar and the villagers screamed. The winds of his breath blew out the flames on the torches and the dripping saliva from his mouth flew off and hit the men in their faces. The ogre's roar lasted for about nine seconds, after which he stopped and wiped his mouth with his left-arm. The villagers continued screaming for an additional five seconds until they stopped as well, staring at the creature in fear. Seeing the terrified looks on their faces, Shrek leans in closer with his left-hand to the side of his mouth.
"This is the part where you run away." Shrek whispers
The men gasped and they quickly made a run for it, dropping their pitchforks and torches in their haste, running off down the path to their left. Shrek places his hands at his waist, chuckling in amusement as he watched the fleeing villagers leave his swamp.
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! And stay out!" Shrek says
Shrek looks down and notices something on the ground. It was a poster dropped by one of the villagers, and on this paper was the picture of a dwarf head, who looked miserable. He picks it up and reads it aloud.
"Wanted. Fairytale Creatures." Shrek reads
Shrek just shakes his head and rolls his eyes with a sigh, tossing away the poster as he turns left and walks back to his house.
(Land of Fairytales)
The Keyblade Wielder, Devon arrives in this new sleeping world in his journey for the Mark of Mastery after his second visit to the Wizarding World and his adventure with Harry Potter and his friends, solving the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets. It was a bright, sunny day as the young hero walks through the forest, and he couldn't help but admire the beautiful scenery.
"Hmm... This forest looks nice. It's got a pleasant touch to it. Lots of peace and quiet." Devon says
Suddenly, the Keyblade Wielder heard distant shouting in the forest just ahead of him.
"Move it along! Let's go!" A voice yells
"So much for peace and quiet." Devon says
Bracing himself for whatever lies ahead, Devon runs forward to investigate. He soon reaches a clearing in the forest and hides behind a tree, peering around the left-side. He was shocked by what he saw. Before him were fairytale creatures in chains, being loaded into wagons by Duloc Guards.
"All right. This one's full. Take it away!" Guard #1 says
A wagon full of fairytale creatures rides off, transporting its prisoners to an unknown destination.
"Move it along." Guard #2 says
A guard watches seven dwarves, likely those associated with Snow White, as they walked together in chains towards a wagon, singing miserably and incoherently. Nearby, a unicorn is pushed into a wagon from behind by a guard.
"Come on! Get up!" Guard #3 says
Devon narrowed his eyes as he watched everything from his hiding spot, unnerved by all of it. He soon turns his attention to the middle of the forest clearing, where he saw people lined up towards a table with some fairytale creatures they had captured. Sitting at the table was the Captain of the Duloc Guard, likely the one in charge. He was in silver armor like the rest of the guards, but he wore a brown leather cap on his head. Two other guards stood at their posts behind him as he paid the line of people their rewards for turning in whatever fairytale creature they had. Those waiting in line included Geppetto carrying Pinocchio in his hands, Peter Pan, who was carrying Tinkerbell in a lantern, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs, who had traditional pig fur, a fleshy look that made them more realistic, and each wore different style hats. The two pigs under the farmer's right-arm was Heimlich, who wore a yellow hard hat, Dieter, who wore a gray railroad hat, and under his left-arm was Horst, who wore a brown hat. First at the table was a male villager and a green-skinned witch.
"Give me that!" Guard #4 says
The guard grabs the broom from the witch and breaks in half over his left-leg.
"Your flying days are over." Guard #4 says
"That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch." The Captain says
The Captain hands over the reward to the villager who turned the witch in. The villager walks away, muttering to himself.
"Lousy twenty pieces..." The Villager grumbles
Waiting in line is Donkey on a rope leash and his owner, an old woman. They were third in line, behind Geppetto and Pinocchio. He looks in horror at the witch and a group of dwarves being loaded into a wagon by two guards.
"Sit down there! Be quiet!" Guard #5 shouts
Nearby, Mama Bear and Papa Bear are locked inside giant cages, with Little Bear in his own cage.
"This cage is too small." Little Bear sobs covering his eyes with his paws
Not wanting to be turned over to the Duloc guards, Donkey looks up at his owner, begging for mercy.
"Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!" Donkey begs
"Oh, shut up." The Old Woman grumbles
The Old Woman pulls her left-arm across her body to slap Donkey, but she doesn't, causing him to flinch.
"Next!" The Captain says
Geppetto steps up with Pinocchio in his hands and sets his wooden puppet boy down onto the table. Unlike Disney's version of Pinocchio, this one was more rudimentary. He had short brown hair, his nose had a small twig with a small green leaf near the end of his nose, his clothes such as his white short sleeve shirt with yellow buttons, blue shorts with suspenders, white gloves, white tights, white socks, and red Mary Jane shoes, were all painted onto his body, and he had a raspy voice. The only true piece of clothing he wore was his yellow hat.
"What have you got?" The Captain asks
"This little, wooden puppet." Geppetto says
"I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy." Pinocchio says shaking his head
Pinocchio's nose grows long by several centimeters.
"Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away." The Captain says
Geppetto takes the money and walks off, while Pinocchio is carried away by a guard.
"Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!" Pinocchio cries out reaching out for Geppetto
"Next!" The Captain says
The Old Woman steps up to the table with Donkey.
"What have you got?" The Captain asks
"Well, I've got a talking donkey." The Old Woman says pulling Donkey closer
"Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it." The Captain says
"Oh, go ahead, little fella." The Old Woman says turning to Donkey
The Old Woman removes the rope around Donkey's muzzle for him to speak, but he stays silent.
"Well?" The Captain says raising his right-eyebrow
"Oh, oh, he's just... he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox." The Old Woman says
The Old Woman turns to Donkey and raises her left-hand in anger, threatening to slap him if he did not speak.
"Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk!" The Old Woman says
"That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!" The Captain says
The two guards behind the Captain proceed to walk around to arrest the Old Woman, but she asks for another chance.
"No, no, he talks! He does." The Old Woman says holding up her hands
The Old Woman glances back and forth between Donkey and the guards for a moment before grabbing Donkey's muzzle with her right-hand and moving it to make everyone believe that he talked
"I can talk. I just love to talk. I'm the talking-est damn thing you ever saw." The Old Woman says trying to imitate Donkey's voice
A moment of silence fills the air for three seconds. The Captain held an unamused look on his face and calls for the guards to take her away.
"Get her out of my sight." The Captain says waving his left-hand
The guards grab the Old Woman by her arms and she struggles with them.
"No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!" The Old Woman says
Her left-leg flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands. The fairy's cage flips around in the air, then descends towards Donkey, who looks up and gasps. The cage drops on Donkey's head, sprinkling him with golden fairy dust and he starts floating upwards.
"Hey! I can fly!" Donkey says
"He can fly!" Peter Pan says placing his hands at his waist with a smile
"He can fly!" The Three Little Pigs say in unison
"He can talk?!" The Captain says rising slightly from his seat in surprise as he looked up
"Ha ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkeyfly. Ha ha!" Donkey says
The pixie dust's effects begin to wear off. Donkey looks down as he slowly began to descend and his ears drooped.
"Uh-oh." Donkey says
Donkey drops out of the air and hits the ground with a thud, landing on his rear.
"Seize him!" The Captain commands pointing his left index finger at Donkey
Donkey glances back and gasps, seeing the two guards rushing toward him. He slips away through the arms of the guards as they grab him and runs deeper into the forest.
"He's getting away! Get him!" Guard #5 shouts
Devon narrows his eyes and rushes off to follow them.
Donkey runs as fast as his short legs could take him, trying desperately to escape the Duloc guards. He soon trips on a rock and rolls across the ground two times, landing flat on his stomach with his legs spread out.
"There he is!" Guard #6 says
"We've got him!" Guard #7 says
Donkey turns around to face the Duloc guards as they run toward him, armed with double-bladed poleaxes, and he backs away fearfully. Before the guards could reach him, Devon drops down from above infront of Donkey, landing crouched down on his right-knee, using his right-hand to catch himself. He rises up and faces the guards, who was surprised by his dramatic entrance.
"Hey! What's the meaning of this?" Devon says
"Stand aside! We are taking that creature into our custody." The Captain commands
Devon's right-hand clenches into a determined fist. The Celestial Ring on his middle finger, as well as the blue crystal Kingdom Hearts sigil on his chain necklace, starts to glow more brightly, reacting to the strength of his heart.
"I don't think so." Devon says
"Fine. Then we'll take you as well." The Captain says
The guards slowly advance toward the young teen and the farm animal. Donkey was shaking in his hooves, but Devon stood perfectly calm. He brings his right-hand to his chest, closing his eyes in concentration for a moment, then stretches his hand out straight. A bright blue light shines forth from his hand, which made the guards stop, and the crystal Keyblade: Soul Calibur, appears in Devon's grip. The young hero opens his eyes and spins his Keyblade around him in his hand six times from side-to-side, then holds it out horizontally to the left infront of him with both hands gripping the hilt, one over and the other under. The Captain and the Duloc Guards gasped in stunned surprise. Donkey leans over to the left for a look and stares in amazement at the translucent crystal blade of Soul Calibur. It was obvious that the guards knew what kind of person Devon was.
"It can't be..." The Captain says
Devon had a plan on how to lose the guards and he was ready to put it into action. But before doing so, he glances back at Donkey over his left-shoulder.
"Shield your eyes." Devon says
Donkey nods his head in acknowledgement and covers his eyes with his long ears. Devon turns back to the guards. The disembodied crystal orb floating in the rainguard of Soul Calibur starts to shine brightly with its blue light. It grows brighter and brighter until it was completely blinding. Everyone turns away from the shining light, shielding their eyes with their arms and hands. While the Captain and his guards were blinded, Devon turns to Donkey on his left.
"Come on!" Devon says
The Keyblade Wielder and Donkey both take off, running deeper into the forest. The Captain and his guards recover from the blinding light and they
"After them!" The Captain commands
Donkey runs ahead of Devon, and they glance back over their right. Not looking where he's going, Donkey runs headfirst into Shrek's backside. He bounces back into Devon, knocking him down as well. Soul Calibur falls out of his grip and clatters to the ground, vanishing in a flash of blue-white light. Shrek, who had just finished putting up a 'Keep Out' poster on a tree, turns around to his right to see who bumped into him and he glares down at Devon and Donkey, who stare up at him.
"Uh... hi." Devon says waving his right-hand with a slightly nervous smile
Donkey quickly hides behind Shrek and Devon rises up to his feet after seeing that the guards have caught up to them. The Captain and his guards immediately stop upon seeing Shrek.
"You there! Ogre!" The Captain says
"Aye?" Shrek says raising his right-eyebrow
The Captain takes out a scroll with a blue, royal-designed 'F' on the back and reads it aloud.
"By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you three under arrest and..." The Captain says
Shrek slowly approaches the group of guards, who are visibly frightened by him. The green Ogre towers over all of the men.
"...transport you to... a designated... resettlement... facility?" The Captain says nervously
"Oh, really? You and what army?" Shrek says placing his hands at his waist and leaning forward with a smile
The Captain looks behind himself and saw that all the other guards have abandoned him, leaving only their poleaxes, which fell to the ground. Donkey looks up at Shrek and smiles. The Captain soon turns tail and runs away in fright. Shrek shakes his head and starts walking back to his swamp. Devon and Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him.
"Hey, uh, thanks for the hand back there." Devon says
"Don't mention it." Shrek says not looking back
"Can I say something to you? Listen, you two were really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!" Donkey says
"Are you talkin' to..." Shrek says
Shrek turns around to his right and saw Devon standing behind him, but Donkey was gone.
"...me?" Shrek says
He looks down at Devon, who just shrugs nonchalantly. Shrek turns back around to his left and Donkey is right infront of him, making the Ogre jump with a start.
"Whoa!" Shrek exclaims
"Yes. I was talkin' to you." Donkey says
Shrek continues his walk, while Donkey followed in his path infront of him.
"Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that." Donkey says rising up on his hind legs before moving out of the ogre's way
"Oh, that's great. Really." Shrek says annoyed
"Man, it's good to be free." Donkey says
"Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?" Shrek says turning to Donkey on his left for a moment
After saying that, Shrek continues walking, while Donkey stood where he was with Devon.
"But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you." Donkey says glancing back at the path they walked before running to catch up with the Ogre
Devon watched Shrek and Donkey as they continued walking together. He had an instinctive feeling, like the one he had about Rexy, the T-Rex back in Jurassic Park on Isla Nublar among the previous worlds he visited. Although it seemed unlikely, they both had a role to play in this world. He could immediately tell that Donkey had a good heart in nature. Shrek, on the other hand, was a bit of a mystery. It seemed he cared only for himself based on his grouchy, arrogant, discourteous personality. However, his heart told him that Shrek was a hero, though he may not yet know it. Knowing now he had to follow them, Devon moves to catch up with Shrek and Donkey.
"You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us." Donkey says
Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before loudly roaring in his face.
"Wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath'll certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks!" Donkey says
"Yeah, seriously." Devon says waving his right-hand infront of his face.
Shrek walks off, but Donkey reappears ahead of him, dangling from a felled log.
"Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time..." Donkey says
Shrek covers the animal's mouth, but Donkey continues to talk, even though his voice is muffled, so Shrek removes his hand.
"...and then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day." Donkey says
"Why are you two following me?" Shrek asks
"I'll tell you why." Donkey says
Donkey drops from the log and starts singing.
"Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me. But you gotta have friends..." Donkey sings moving infront of Shrek
"Stop singing!" Shrek yells
Shrek picks up Donkey by his ears and tail.
"It's no wonder you don't have any friends." Shrek says putting him down on his right
"Wow. Only a true friend would be that truly honest." Donkey says
"Listen, little donkey, little boy. Take a look at me. What am I?" Shrek says spreading his arms out, gesturing to himself
"Uh... really tall?" Donkey says
"Really green?" Devon says
"No! I'm an Ogre! You know, 'Grab your torch and pitchforks.' Doesn't that bother either of you?" Shrek says
Devon and Donkey shake their heads.
"Nope." Donkey says
"Not at all." Devon says
"Really?" Shrek says raising his left-eyebrow in surprise
"Really, really." Donkey says
"Oh." Shrek says
"Man, I like you. What's your name?" Donkey asks
"Uh, Shrek."
The green Ogre continues walking once more and the young teen and farm animal follow him.
"Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of 'I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me' thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You're all right." Donkey says
Curious about Devon, Donkey looks up at him on his right.
"And how 'bout you? What's your name?" Donkey asks
"Devon."
"Devon, you was pretty cool back there, standing up to all those guards with your crystal sword-thingy. Man, I really appreciate that." Donkey says
"Thanks. And don't mention it." Devon says
"What was that weapon anyway? That thing just appeared in your hand out of nowhere like magic. I ain't ever seen anything like that in my life." Donkey says
"It's called the Keyblade. It's a weapon of ancient power that only I can wield." Devon says
"A Keyblade, huh? That's an awesome name. I'm glad we're friends." Donkey says
"Anytime." Devon says smiling
The trio come over a grassy hill overlooking Shrek's home.
"Woo, look at that! Who'd want to live in place like that?" Donkey asks
"That would be my home." Shrek says annoyed looking down at Donkey on his left before walking down
"Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." Donkey says walking down the hill with Devon, stopping for a moment to look at a small boulder on his left
Devon and Donkey notice Shrek's 'Keep Out' signs as they walk with him.
"I guess you don't entertain much, do you?" Donkey says leaning over the right-side
"I like my privacy." Shrek says glancing back over his right-shoulder as he continued walking toward his house
"You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. And there's that big awkward silence you know?" Donkey says walking past the signs
Shrek stops at the door and glances back at Devon and Donkey with his annoyed expression as they stood together, the awkward silence filling the swamp air.
"Can I stay with you?" Donkey asks
"Uh, what?" Shrek says
"Can I stay with you, please?" Donkey asks smiling innocently, his ears drooping low
"Of course!" Shrek says sarcastically
"Really?" Donkey says perking up
"No." Shrek says frowning and turning away to his left
"Please! I don't wanna go back there!" Donkey begs
Donkey runs up and pushes Shrek against the door with his hooves on the Ogre's chest.
"You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!" Donkey says
"Okay! Okay! But one night only." Shrek says holding up his right index finger and pushing the door to his house open
"Ah! Thank you!" Donkey says
Donkey runs inside the hut past Shrek, while Devon casually walks past.
"Ah! What are you... no! No!" Shrek says
Donkey hops up onto the crocodile-skin armchair, while Devon glances around at the house setting.
"Hmm... This a nice place you got, Shrek. Very homey." Devon says
"This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin'... I'm makin' waffles." Donkey says
Shrek groans in frustration.
"Where do, uh, I sleep?" Donkey asks looking around
"Outside!" Shrek yells irritated pointing back at the open door with his right index finger
Donkey's mood and his ears dropped upon hearing that.
"Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know." Donkey says
The gray farm animal jumps down from the chair and slowly walks towards the door with a sad sniffle.
"Here I go. Good night." Donkey says
Shrek then turns to the young teen on his left, who put up his hands innocently.
"Out." Shrek says calmly
"Okay, okay. I get it. You want your privacy. I respect that. Didn't mean to intrude. I'll just camp outside with Donkey." Devon says walking around the Ogre with his hands still up
Once he was out of his house, Shrek slams the door behind Devon, causing him to jump with a slight start. The Keyblade Wielder glances back at the door over his right-shoulder.
"Geez... Just because you're an Ogre doesn't mean you have to be so... well, mean." Devon mutters
Shrek heard his words from the other side, but the ogre just rolls his eyes and walks away. Outside, Devon looks over at Donkey to his right as he sat all by himself and goes over to join him.
"I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside." Donkey says
"It's okay, Donkey. I'm here for ya." Devon says kneeling down and patting the farm animal twice on the back with his right-hand
Donkey looks over at the Keyblade Wielder and smiles.
"Aww, thanks, Devon! You're a great pal!" Donkey says nuzzling up against the young teen's body
Later that night, the cauldron in Shrek's fireplace bubbled and the Ogre prepared himself for dinner. He drinks a small makeshift glass of eyeball martini and looks down at his food. On his wooden plate was a stuffed pumpkin full of dead worms and jam, a large slug, and a jar of eyeballs. Shrek looks over at the door on his right, knowing that Devon and Donkey were still outside, but pays them no mind and just sits down at his table with a sigh. Before commencing with his dinner, the Ogre puts on the finishing touches to his table. He pulls out a long stick of earwax from his right-ear, sets it down on a stand, carefully lights the tip with a match, then proceeds to eat. Donkey looks inside from a window and then lays down by a campfire that Devon created, which was where the Keyblade Wielder currently sat nearby on a log. Inside the house, Shrek was about to take a bite when he hears a creaking noise. He stands up with a huff, thinking it could be Devon or Donkey.
"I thought I told you both to stay outside!" Shrek says
"We are outside!" Donkey says hopping up in the window's view
"Something wrong, Shrek?" Devon asks
Shrek hears a noise from inside and turns around to find the source. He sees several shadows moving and looks around. He checks underneath the table to find nothing, then rises up and sees the Three Blind Mice, Gorder, Steve, and Al wandering about his table with their black glasses and white canes.
"Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?" Steve says before tripping over a wooden knife
"It's not home, but it'll do just fine." Al says before bumping into the jar of eyeballs and knocking it over
"What a lovely bed." Gorder says bouncing up and down on a slug
"Got ya." Shrek says grabbing the third mice with his right-hand
Shrek opens his hand, but the small creature had escaped him. The blind mice was now standing on his left-shoulder.
"I found some cheese." Gorder says
Gorder bites into Shrek's ear.
"Ow!" Shrek cries out
The Ogre goes to grab the mice again, but he quickly moves from one side of his shoulder to the other, evading his large hands with fast reflexes.
"Blah! Awful stuff." Gorder says
Gorder jumps down to the table, landing on a wooden spoon which flings a bit of swamp broth into Shrek's left-eye.
"Is that you, Gorder?" Al asks
"How did you know?" Gorder asks
"Enough!" Shrek says
Shrek grabs all three mice in his right-hand, holding them upside-down.
"What are you doing in my house?" Shrek asks
Suddenly, he gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.
"Hey!" Shrek says
Shrek turns around and sees that the Seven Dwarves: Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, and Doc have put Snow White, sleeping in her glass coffin, on the table. One of the dwarves on the left, presumably Happy, wearing a grey hat, green tunic, and brown pants, waves sheepishly to the ogre with his left-hand.
"Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table!" Shrek says pushing the coffin away
"Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken." Happy says
"Huh?" Shrek says
Shrek marches over to his bedroom and throws back the brown curtain to see the Big Bad Wolf relaxing in his bed, wearing the pink night gown of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother.
"What?" The Big Bad Wolf says
Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and drags him to the front door.
"I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy?" Shrek says
He opens the front door and throws the Wolf out, but is shocked to see a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp with tents and campfires set up all around the area.
"Oh, no. No! No!" Shrek says
Shrek dodges out the way of a group of three witches flying on broomsticks, who are guided by some elves directing flight traffic like workers at an airport so that they could land. The Ogre looks around to see the Pied Piper playing his pipe with rats all gathering around infront of him on one side, a group of wizards and dwarves all stood lined up toward Shrek's outhouse, and The Three Bears, minus Mama Bear, sit around the fire with some other fairytale folk. Little Bear was sad about something as he leaned against Papa Bear on his right.
"What are you doing in my swamp?!" Shrek shouts
Shrek's voice echoes throughout the camp and everyone falls silent. Gasps are heard all around. The Three Good Fairies, Flora, Merryweather, and Fauna from the tale of Sleeping Beauty, all quickly hide inside a tent. However, unlike their Disney counterparts, they were short, pudgy, and they all looked alike. The Ogre looks around at all the fairytale creatures and attempts to send them away from his swamp.
"All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya!" Shrek says waving his hands
"Hey! Quickly. Come on!" A Dwarf says
More dwarves and a few green and yellow-colored fairies fly and run inside the house and shut the door behind them. One green fairy was shut out as she flies into the door and falls to the ground.
"No, no! No, no. Not there! Not there!" Shrek says
Shrek chases after them and fiddles with the door handle, unable to open it. He gives Devon and Donkey an annoyed look.
"Hey, don't look at us. We didn't invite them." Donkey says shaking his head
"Well gosh, no one invited us." Pinocchio says
"What?!" Shrek says
"We were forced to come here!" Pinocchio says
"By who?" Devon asks
"Lord Farquaad. He huffed und he puffed und he... signed an eviction notice." Heimlich says
"Alright. Who knows where this... 'Farquaad' guy is?" Shrek asks
The crowd gasps at the mention of Lord Farquaad. No one answers.
"Oh, I do. I know where he is!" Donkey says raising his right-hoof
"Does anyone else know where to find him?" Shrek asks
Baby Bear raises his right-paw, but Papa Bear quickly lowers it down. The Big Bad Wolf and a green robed wizard point at each other.
"Anyone at all?" Shrek asks
"Me! Me!" Donkey says hopping up
"Anyone?" Shrek asks
"Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!" Donkey says jumping up and down
"Uh, Shrek, it's pretty obvious no one here wants to show us the way to Lord Farquaad. We might as well take Donkey." Devon says leaning over to Shrek on his right
Since no one else volunteered, the Ogre sighed in defeat and placed his left-hand on his temple.
"Okay, fine." Shrek says
Shrek then made an announcement to the crowd of fairytale creatures in his swamp.
"Attention all... fairytale things. Do not get comfortable! Your welcome is officially worn out! In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from!" Shrek says pointing out with his left index finger
After a brief silence, the crowd erupts into cheering and applause. This was not Shrek's intention. A group of bluebirds drape a cloak made of red flowers around Shrek's shoulders, much to his annoyance.
"You! You're comin' with me." Shrek says pointing at Donkey with his right index finger
"I'm coming too." Devon says
"Fine." Shrek says
Shrek brushes the cloak onto the ground, while the birds come back to place a wreath of flowers on Donkey's head as well as Devon's.
"All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek, Devon and Donkey, three stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!" Donkey says
Devon chuckles as Donkey said this and removes the wreath from his head, giving it to a group of green, blue, yellow, and pink-colored fairies on his left as they head out.
"'On the road again...', sing it with me, guys!" Donkey says
As they walk away from the crowd, Shrek grabs a torch from a dwarf cheering them on, who refuses to let go. He shakes the torch until the dwarf falls into a pond.
"I can't wait to get on the road again." Donkey sings
"What did I say about singing?" Shrek says turning around to his right and yanking the wreath off Donkey's head
"Can I whistle?" Donkey asks
"No." Shrek says
"Can I hum it?" Donkey says
"All right, hum it." Shrek sighs
Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again', and the Keyblade Wielder, Donkey, and the large green Ogre walk off into the night with Shrek's torch lighting the way, beginning their adventure together.
Elsewhere, inside a castle dungeon underground, a masked man pours a glass of milk, while another man walks down a hallway, pulling up on his gloves. He had a big chin and a black pageboy haircut, wearing a red hat with white top and red cape to match his red tunic with black sleeves, red gloves with gold trims, black pants, a black belt with a gold buckle around his waist, and black boots. This was Lord Farquaad, the tyrannical and ruthless ruler of Duloc, who yearned for a perfect world free of all things magical. But the one notable thing about Farquaad, his abnormally short stature, being only four feet tall in height.
Two Duloc Guards stand watch at their posts, blocking a set of doors to a room. Lord Farquaad approaches, and they step aside for their ruler. He walks past the guards and pushes the doors open with his hands as he enters the Duloc Castle Dungeon.
Inside, the dungeon had an adjustable table with torture instruments hanging overhead. Shackles were attached to the walls, and there were various medieval torture devices like gibbets, The Iron Maiden, and the Chair of Torture set around the room. Lord Farquaad watches from the doors as the masked man, his henchman named Thelonius, who wore a black executioner's mask, a dark gray tunic, black gloves and boots, dunks a small person, likely a fairytale creature, upside-down into the glass of milk a couple times, then stops him.
"That's enough. He's ready to talk." Farquaad says holding up his right-hand and stepping forward
Thelonious turns around to his left and reveals the fairytale creature in his right-hand, who happens to be the Gingerbread Man, or Gingy for short. He was decorated in frosting with white eyes, blue eyebrows, a red mouth, white squiggly lines on his arms and waist, including his legs, which were missing, and two purple gumdrop buttons, which he was very fond of. Thelonius slams Gingy down onto a cookie sheet, while he coughs. Farquaad walks over to the table, laughing maniacally.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Farquaad laughs
When he reaches the table, he is too short to see above it.
"Ahem!" Farquaad grunts clearing his throat
The table is lowered down to Farquaad's height through chains hanging from the ceiling. Now that he could see him, Farquaad picks up Gingy's severed legs and plays with them, tapping them around the cookie sheet.
"Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the Gingerbread Man!" Farquaad says
"You're a monster!" Gingy says
"I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!" Farquaad says throwing one leg at Gingy and crumbling the other one in his left-hand before lowering down closer with the lamp on his right
"Eat me!" Gingy says
Gingy spits milk into Farquaad's left-eye, but he rubs it off.
"I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll..." Farquaad says walking around the right-side of the table and reaching for one of Gingy's purple gumdrop buttons with his left-hand
"No, not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!" Gingy begs
"All right then. Who's hiding them?" Farquaad says
"Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?" Gingy asks sitting up
"The muffin man?" Farquaad asks going back around the table, facing Gingy
"The muffin man." Gingy says
"Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?" Farquaad says
"Well, she's married to the muffin man." Gingy says
"The muffin man?!" Farquaad asks raising his voice
"The muffin man!" Gingy says
"She's married to the muffin man..." Farquaad says glancing off to the left
A door opens at the top of a stairwell and the Captain of the Duloc Guards steps in.
"My lord! We've found it." The Captain says
"Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in!" Farquaad commands
More guards enter the dungeon, carrying an object covered by a sheet. They mount it on the wall and the Captain removes the sheet. It was a large, golden, elaborate-designed oval mirror. And through its glass, in a swirl of white magic, the spirit of the Magic Mirror, a white face, appears inside. Everyone stares in awe, even Gingy.
"Ohhhh..." Thelonius, the Duloc Guards, and the Captain say in awe
"Ohhhh..." Gingy says in awe
Lord Farquaad steps forward to address the spirit of the enchanted object.
"Magic Mirror..." Farquaad says
"Don't tell him anything!" Gingy shouts waving his arms
Farquaad smacks Gingy off the table with his right-hand and into a steel trash bin, then turns to face the Magic Mirror again.
"Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?" Farquaad asks stepping forward with a smile
"Well, technically you're not a king." The Magic Mirror says
"Uh, Thelonius?" Farquaad says glancing over to his henchman on his right
Thelonius holds up a handheld mirror in his left-hand and smashes it to pieces with his fist as a threat.
"You were saying?" Farquaad says turning back to the Magic Mirror
"What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess." The Magic Mirror says correcting himself
"Go on." Farquaad says leaning closer
The Magic Mirror chuckles nervously.
"So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And... heeere they are!" The Magic Mirror says
Bouncy gameshow music starts to play. Using himself as a television screen, the Magic Mirror reveals three shadowy portraits of princesses in a dull blue background with colorful flowers of pink, orange, green, blue and yellow. Farquaad seems confused but watches on silently. The first is a shadowy portrait of a princess standing on a white marble staircase with red carpeting going down its steps.
"Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime!" The Magic Mirror says
The shadowy portrait flips horizontally to the right, showing an image of Cinderella in her maid's dress, wearing a red top with a white long sleeve shirt underneath, a white wrap around the back of her head, keeping her golden hair tied down in a bun, a yellow skirt with a white apron, and brown shoes, doing housework in a room of white and black checkerboard flooring, dusting off cobwebs above her with a pink feather duster in her right-hand and stirring a hot, boiling cauldron sitting above a burning fire with a wooden spoon in her other hand. Nearby on her right was a mop in a water bucket and a stack of clean dishes on a wooden counter along with a white jug.
"Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome..." The Magic Mirror says
The portrait flips back to Cinderella in her golden ball gown slipping her right-foot into the glass slipper.
"Cinderella!" The Magic Mirror says
Farquaad looks at her approvingly and the Captain claps. Moving on, the Magic Mirror shows the shadowy portrait of the second princess, which was obviously Snow White, sleeping in her glass coffin in a forest clearing.
"Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy." The Magic Mirror says
An image of the Seven Dwarves flips on-screen horizontally to the right and a rimshot plays. The guards laugh at the Mirror's joke. The portrait flips back to the shadowy image of Snow White.
"Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is! Come on, give it up for Snooow White!" The Magic Mirror says
The Mirror reveals Snow White in her slumber. Farquaad seems even more pleased, and there is even more applause this time from the guards and Thelonius. Finally, the Magic Mirror comes to the third princess, showing the shadowy portrait of her standing at castle window.
"And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!" The Magic Mirror says
The Mirror flips the portrait horizontally to the right, showing an image of a giant red dragon besides a tower with the princess seen at the window, her shadowy form illuminated by the candlelight inside the tower window, then the portrait flips over to a giant castle surrounded by lava at the top of a volcano. A bright fire swirls on-screen and Farquaad covers his eyes, though this doesn't deter his interest.
"But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing... Princess Fiona!" The Magic Mirror says
The Mirror reveals the portrait of Princess Fiona leaning on the window of her tower, resting her head on her left-hand, looking quite lonely and miserable, waiting to be rescued by her true love. Once again, everyone else claps with even more applause. With Farquaad's options made plain, the Magic Mirrors flips through each princesses' portrait in turn.
"So, will it be: bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three?" The Magic Mirror asks
The Captain and the Duloc Guards shout out different numbers while Farquaad frantically tries to decide.
"Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!" The Captain and the guards shout over each other
"Two? Three? One? Three?" Farquaad says to himself, unsure on which to decide
"Three! Pick number three, my lord!" Thelonius says incorrectly holding up two fingers in his left-hand
Following the advice of his henchman, Lord Farquaad turns back toward the Magic Mirror and makes his decision.
"Okay, okay, uhhh... number three!" Farquaad says holding up three fingers in his left-hand
"Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona." The Magic Mirror says
The white face of the mirror glides off to the left, revealing the portrait of Princess Fiona once more. The song Escape by Rupert Holmes plays as celebratory music and there is wild applause from the Captain, the Duloc Guards, and Thelonius, who claps very slowly compared to the guards, pausing every second between each clap. Farquaad gazes up at Fiona's portrait, completely captivated by her beauty.
"Princess... Fiona... She's perfect." Farquaad says
Farquaad turns away to the right, putting his right-hand to his chin as he formulates a plan.
"All I have to do is just find someone who can go..." Farquaad says
"But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night." The Magic Mirror says
Farquaad pays no heed to the mirror at all, too busy thinking.
"I'll do it." Farquaad says
"Yes, but after sunset..." The Magic Mirror says
"Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and Duloc will finally have the perfect king!" Farquaad says holding up his left-hand to the Magic Mirror
"My lord? There's... something else you should know." The Captain says
"Yes, Captain? What is it?" Farquaad says
The Captain walks over to Farquaad and whispers into his right-ear. Once he was finished, Farquaad's eyes widened in shock.
"What?! Are you certain?!" Farquaad says
"It's true, sire. Me and my men saw it with our own eyes. A young boy. He wielded a weapon of great power. It appeared in his hand like magic. A sword shaped like a key." The Captain says
"But that's impossible. The Keyblade Wielders of yore have been extinct for countless years. I thought they were just myth and rumors." Farquaad says
Desperate to know of the identity of this new arrival in his world, Farquaad turns to the Magic Mirror for answers.
"Magic Mirror, who is this wretched brat? Reveal to me this Keyblade Wielder!" Farquaad commands
In a swirl of white smoke, the Magic Mirror shows a shadowy, full body form of Devon, standing in a background of blue and white light.
"He is a child of destiny, pure of heart, full of unrelenting courage and a righteous sense of justice, born from a world now lost to history. A boy who suffered a horrific tragedy at the age of five, having lost his mother and father in a brutal murder, and his home destroyed by an ancient evil. Though he had a very rough upbringing, he has grown up strong and is destined to become the greatest and most powerful hero in the Universe. Defender of the innocent, a Warrior of Justice, the Savior of Worlds, a Guardian of Light. My lord, I present to you... The Legendary Keyblade Master..." The Magic Mirror says
The Mirror soon reveals Devon, illuminating his form with his Keyblade: Soul Calibur drawn and held vertically along his right-side with both hands. He had a battle-determined look on his face and the disembodied crystal orb of his crystal Keyblade shined brightly.
"Devon!" The Magic Mirror says
Thelonious and the Duloc Guards all stared in awe at the heroic Keyblade Wielder. Gingy heard everything about Devon from inside the trash bin and he was filled with hope.
"We're saved!" Gingy says
Farquaad stared at Devon's image intensely. He could tell just by looking at him that this boy was nothing to scoff at. If there was anything he learned from tales of the Keyblade and its wielders, they should never be underestimated. A part of him felt that this Keyblade Wielder could very well be a major threat to his rule. But on the other hand...
"My Lord? Should I send more men to capture him?" The Captain asks
"No. I have a feeling this Keyblade Wielder could prove useful. As for now..." Farquaad says
Farquaad snaps his fingers and turns right to face the Captain and his guards, who stand at attention.
"Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament!" Farquaad says smiling evilly
Author's Note: And so it begins! Devon's adventure with Shrek and Donkey in the Dreamworks world, Land of Fairytales. It was difficult getting this story started, but now it's finally underway. Let me know what you guys think. No flames please. Hope you guys like and don't forget to review!