Notes: I'm not consistent in my updates and can only write when motivation strikes or I have the time/energy. Knowing this, I avoided getting sucked into this story but it didn't leave me alone for 3 years or more and so this is one I must write down, even though I thought I was done with fanfics.
Reviews are super welcome and I'd love to hear your ideas, changing direction if yours resonates with this story with full credits to you. I can only see the ending and some fixed events.
There's some crossovers and please disregard anything that doesn't appear in J. 's amazing world in this story. If it sounds different, wrong, etc, assume it was done on purpose as I did read the books hundreds of times. One aspect of it is that Remus and Dora never got together, so he doesn't have a son either. More alterations are probably coming although the original story is perfect.
Jasper of Twilight and Lucian of Underworld are the actors as those characters, however it doesn't follow Twilight or Underworld universes and the focus is on HP world. They are just a vampire and a werewolf I like.
After months and hundreds of hits, I'm moving this story from Ao3 to here as no one comments there, so it felt like I was talking to myself. I might be deleting my account there if I have the energy one day.
Disclaimer: All characters and familiar stuff belongs to the genius J. . Not a cent is intended or made. I'm just a bit obsessed with Lupin and Snape but will return them in the same condition they were when I borrowed them, after I play a bit.
Warnings: NC-17, a bit of slash, crossovers and AU maybe.
Soundtrack: Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage
When Remus woke up he inhaled as if he hadn't breathed for a long time. He sat up suddenly and dizziness overtook him. He had to brace himself to not fall back down.
To his horror, he realized he wasn't in a comfortable bed in the infirmary, but bodies lay in low beds he'd never seen before, assuming they had been conjured there. Dozens of bodies lay all around him and he started to shake. Getting himself together, he stood slowly and although he looked all around him, his wand was nowhere to be seen. He had no idea why they thought he had been dead and that's why he must be weaponless.
Trying to not look at any of the faces - knowing he knew all of them - he walked as fast as he could to the door. He remembered the duel with Dolohov and the searing pain he felt for a moment, just long enough for his dismay, knowing that he lost the fight. He opened a tiny fissure at the door, not knowing if the fight raged on, or worse, if Voldemort won, maybe he could pretend he was dead and do something to help Harry. But what he saw made his heart jump in a pleasant way. Although everyone seemed wounded, there were no death eaters or their leader. Some kids were even laughing, although most appeared traumatized.
He opened the door wide open and crossed it, frantically looking for Harry. It seemed they won, as impossible as it was to believe.
"Remus!" He heard frantic steps running towards him from his blind spot.
A veil of bushy hair almost blinded as Hermione cling to his neck.
Weakened and aching all over, he just went down with her falling painfully on him.
"Hermione!" He recognized Ron's voice, rebuking her.
"I'm so sorry, Remus." She said as she and Ron helped Remus stand up.
Ron hugged him too, his eyes desperate.
"Where is Harry?" Remus asked, worried.
Then, his eyes met Harry's who was returning from the corridors and to the great hall and the green eyes bugged out. "Remus!" He cried.
Everyone seemed to be very aware of Harry - their savior - he could feel it in the air. But then everyone turned to him.
Murmurs, laughter and some cries were heard as Harry came running.
"Calm down there, mate." Ron said. "Remus is not well."
Harry hugged Remus gently, his breathing ragged. When he was released, he saw the green eyes were full of tears.
"I am fine." Remus tried to smile.
"I am so glad. I felt so guilty." Harry choked.
"And we already told you how many times that we were all here fighting Voldemort, not sacrificing for you. Everyone here chose to fight, Harry." Hermione said as Ron slapped his best friend on the shoulder not very gently.
"Am I right to assume he's gone?" Remus asked.
Harry nodded, sighing. Remus felt sad for the young man, who seemed to have lived 10 lifetimes already.
Remus stopped at a vague strange memory but it might have been a dream as they never happened in real life and he thought he'd seen Lilly, James and Sirius recently, and strangely, an even hazier memory of talking to Harry but then shook the dream off.
Remus felt renewed and more interested in life than he ever was. The old Remus would wait for an excuse, or even give up on asking what he wanted after making sure Harry was alive and well. Instead of asking how the closest one he would ever have to a son defeated the greatest evil their world knew, he asked instead. "How about Snape?"
Harry and Hermione looked at each other and then Remus' heart fell at the pain in the boys' face.
"No…" He murmured.
In anguish, Remus started having flashbacks, some from the very beginning.
His friends didn't know this but Remus had sat in the same train compartment Lilly and Severus came in to run from James and Sirius, as he found out later. Then growing up, he'd observe the Slythering during order meetings as his admiration and love for Snape grew. Severus had always been what Remus could not.
He swayed, feeling faint as Harry and Ron admonished him.
"Let's tend to your wounds first, then you should worry about anyone else, Remus." Said Harry. "Madame Pomfrey, please!"
"I'm fine right here." Remus protested, but allowed the young men to help him sit on a nearby wooden bench.
"What happened to him?" Remus asked, for once not able to hide his feelings for Severus completely, as he done most of his life.
"He was on our side." Harry said heavily.
"Remus!" Pomfrey arrived, bending down to hug Remus awkwardly.
He tried to smile but then turned to Harry again.
"Then why did he kill Dumbledore?"
"Dumbledore was dying. He was cursed while hunting horcruxes."
Remus just stared, dumbfounded. "He asked Severus to kill him or something?"
"They worked on it together. Because he was dying anyway he wanted Snape to know what Voldemort was up to for as long as possible."
Remus' eyes filled with tears as Hermione sat beside him.
"I didn't know you were friends." Ron said, astonished at Remus' reaction.
"Well, he was the last of Remus' generation." Said Harry understandingly.
Remus didn't correct him. He was devastated.
"I'd like to…" Remus choked. "Would you take me to his body?"
"I really think you should rest, Remus." Pomfrey admonished him. "We thought you received the killing curse. But if you are alive, it must have missed you by very little, that doesn't mean that you are fine to go galloping around."
"I won't exert myself." Remus protested. "But I need to see…"
"Of course, come on." Ron interrupted, grabbing Remus' upper arm to help him up. "We'll take you."
Before the medwitch could protest, Remus gratefully leaned on Ron for help as Harry grabbed his other arm to make sure he wouldn't fall. Hermione followed them. Remus noticed the young men had grown since the last time he'd seen them and found it sad. They were not even adults yet when they undertook the most dangerous quest.
Slowly and painfully, Remus persevered.
He was glad for the low dark corridor where no one could see him crying as the tears fell freely.
He'd been a coward and it was so very late now. He couldn't believe it. He had years to at least try being Severus' friend but he'd been so afraid as a young boy, and then highly intimidated by the potion's master as a man. To his credit, he never saw a sign that Severus would be able to forgive him for never standing up for him.
Regret and cowardice were terrible things to live with. It's just that he'd been so rejected in life, never finding the courage to risk seeing disgust in Severus' face.
When they arrived at their destination, Harry went ahead and waited for Remus, prepared to help him.
"Thank you." Remus said, more composed now.
He looked around anxiously and his stomach turned when he saw a pool of blood. Beside him, Harry froze.
It wasn't impossible for Severus to be alive after losing so much blood and, as astonishing as this visual was, it was the disappearance of the slytherin's body that was the most shocking.