David couldn't help himself. Despite his last humiliating solo adventure, he was determined to try again. "This time, no aliens, no scary creatures. Just a straightforward mission to prove I can handle this alone," he muttered, strapping on the VR headset.
The familiar hum started, and David was transported to a strange, dark-themed world. He looked around and immediately recognized it—the sleek, minimalist design of Windows 11.
He stood atop the classic wallpaper, surrounded by desktop icons, their faint glows casting shadows around him. As he looked to his left, he spotted a suspiciously still Malwarebytes icon.
David smirked. "This is my chance! Time to impress Kim Possible by defeating this antivirus!"
He approached the icon, giving it a confident poke. "Hey, guess what? Today, I'm—"
Before he could finish, the icon transformed into a towering humanoid robot. Its glowing blue eyes locked onto David, and without hesitation, it dropped to one knee and punched him square in the testicles.
David's scream echoed across the desktop as he was flung halfway across the screen, landing with a groan near the Recycle Bin. "I didn't sign up for this!" he wheezed, clutching his stomach.
The Malwarebytes robot wasn't done. It stomped over, grabbed him by the collar, and lifted him into the air. With a mechanical whir, it delivered an uppercut—once again targeting his poor testicles.
David howled in pain, tears streaming down his face. "How could this happen to me?!"
Suddenly, the screen flickered, and a Firefox window popped open. A video began playing, and David's jaw dropped as he saw Kim Possible sitting on a toilet.
"Hey!" she shouted, looking directly at the camera. "Give me some privacy! I'm making gnarly brown nuggets in here!"
David's face turned pale, his shock rendering him speechless.
The Malwarebytes robot began to shake violently, sparks flying from its joints. With a deafening boom, it exploded into bits of glowing code. As the debris settled, the video continued.
The slowed-down version of "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo started playing ominously.
Kim, now visibly straining, shouted, "Here it comes!" She let out a thunderous fart, so powerful that the toilet shattered into millions of pieces. The music swelled as the shattered porcelain scattered across the screen.
David stood frozen, his brain struggling to process the surreal scene.
Before he could make sense of it all, the VR headset powered off with a sharp pop. David ripped it off, sitting in stunned silence in the trailer.
His face was a mix of horror and regret. "Why do I keep doing this to myself?"
From the other room, Mark's sleepy voice called out. "David, if you're gonna scream like that, at least let me join in next time!"
David sighed, collapsing back onto the couch. "Never. Solo. Again."