Disclaimer: There are large chunks taken from HPatHBP, specifically Ch 27 (The Lightning-Struck Tower) which I took some liberties with and CH 29 (The Phoenix Lament) for this one. As always, credit goes to JKR for creating it first.
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"Dumbledore is dead." Ginny's gentle pronouncement seemed to echo over the cacophony of noises in the crowded infirmary.
Dumbledore could not heal Bill's injuries because he was dead…
Draco had fulfilled his task. He and his mother were safe…. For now.
"No!" Lupin voiced the shared shock of everyone in attendance. His gaze wildly switched from Harry to Ginny, desperate to be let in on the joke. When neither contradicted the proclamation, he collapsed into a chair and began to sob.
"How did he die?" Tonks whispered. "How… How did it happen?"
"Snape killed him…" Harry stated coldly. Detached, he told them the details of arriving at the Astronomy Tower. "...and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him."
Hermione gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth to stop the sobs of grief that tore through her at the unavoidable affirmation of his involvement.
"More Death Eaters arrived… and then Snape… and then Snape did it." It was clear the words were hard for him but Harry choked the rest out. "The Avada Kedavra."
Pomfrey burst into tears and was immediately interrupted by Ginny, "Shh! Listen!"
The older witch did as she was commanded and gulped down her cries of grief. They all were rewarded by the sound of Fawkes' painful sorrow. A beautiful song that echoed over the grounds, giving voice to the occupants' heartache. Everyone held their breath and listened intently until the last note resonated deep within the castle walls.
McGonagall entered and broke the spell of the mourning phoenix had on the gathered Order members by announcing, "Molly and Arthur are on their way."
As the group awaited arrival, the new Headmistress of Hogwarts demanded answers that the rest were too afraid to ask. Harry, unsurprisingly, was the one to offer most of them and was compensated with a detailed rundown of what had happened in the castle during his absence. Ginny, Ron, Lupin, and Tonks were the main contributors… Neville and Flitwick laid a few feet away, unconscious from the various potions needed to heal their wounds.
Hermione and Luna stayed quiet for the majority of the conversation. She only spoke when Harry asked after their whereabouts during the invasion, "We were outside Snape's office, yes… We had hung around for ages and nothing happened. We didn't know what was going on upstairs, Ron had taken the map… It was nearly midnight when Professor Flitwick came sprinting down into the dungeons. He was shouting about Death Eaters in the castle, I don't think he even registered that Luna and I were there, he just burst his way into Snape's office and we heard him saying that Snape had to go back with him and help. Then we heard a loud thump and Snape came hurtling out of his room and he saw us and… and…"
"What?!" Harry urged her to continue.
"I was so stupid!" She cried, hanging her head in shame. "He said that Flitwick had collapsed and that we should go and check on him while he…while he went to help fight the Death Eaters. We went into his office and he magicked the door shut behind us. I'm sorry, Harry… We didn't realize… We just let him go!"
"It's not your fault," Lupin said firmly from the chair he had sat in earlier. "Had you not obeyed Snape and gotten out of the way, he probably would have killed you and Luna."
Instead of acknowledging her apology and the freely given clemency, Harry turned back to the others and the important details they could provide. She couldn't stop the tears any longer and felt them flow down her cheeks. The guilt was eating at the ragged wound where her heart had been that morning. Fluttering with anxiety over the unknowns, yes, but there nonetheless. What she would give to go back and stay with the wizard who had destroyed everything…
It wasn't until Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had appeared, learned the news of their son's health, set off a round of reconciliations and declarations of love, and finally- verified Dumbledore's passing, that the group began to disperse. First, Hagrid set off to gather Professor Sprout and Slughorn. Then McGonagall and Harry headed to the Headmistress' office for a private conversation. Madam Pomfrey had been tasked with waking Flitwick and making sure he was well enough to join the meeting between the Heads of Houses. Lupin and Tonks had disappeared into the corridor to continue their idiotic argument. The Weasleys, including the newly accepted Fleur, were circled around Bill's bed.
Luna quickly dismissed herself and left Hermione alone. Being the sole outsider to the family's grief was awkward, the fact that she was responsible was unbearable.
Craven, she fled from the sight….
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The vibrant green light that illuminated the scene in front of her was the first clue that she was trapped in a nightmare. She had seen it once before… On the night of the Quidditch World Cup, cast from the gigantic Dark Mark that hung in the sky above her. The second was that she had been locked in Snape's office when this particular horror had taken place in a tower eight stories above her and was only told about it later…
"There is little time, one way or another," Dumbledore said, gesturing toward the staircase where loud bangs and shouts echoed. "So let us discuss your options, Draco."
"My options?!" Hermione refused to look at the cause of the burst of her pain as he shouted. "I'm standing here with a wand… I'm about to kill you!"
"My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me. You would not have stopped for this pleasant chat."
"I haven't got any options!" Draco bellowed. "I've got to do it! He will kill me! He will kill my whole family!"
"I appreciate the difficulty of your position," The ancient wizard grimaced in pain but pushed forward. "Why else do you think I have not confronted you before now? Especially after she came to me with her concerns? Because I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realized I suspected you."
Hermione broke and looked over as the broken boy winced.
"I did not dare speak to you of the mission with which I knew you had been entrusted, in case he used Legilimency against you," Dumbledore continued. "But now at last we can speak plainly to each other… No harm has been done, you have hurt nobody, though you are very lucky that your unintentional victims survived. I can help you, Draco."
"No, you can't," Draco mumbled through tears, his wand hand shaking. "She can't. Nobody can! He told me to do it or he'll kill my mother. I've got no choice…"
She had known these worries still plagued him and that is why she had given her warning the other night. Not because she thought he would actually try again before the end of the year… But because she knew the deceased man was the key to either her fiance's redemption or his demise.
"Come to the right side, Draco, and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban…. When the time comes, we can protect him too… Come over to the right side, Draco. She is waiting… You are not a killer…" Dumbledore's persuasion bordered on begging.
The scared child stared at his savior, "But… But I got this far, didn't I? They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here… You are in my power. I'm the one with the wand. You are at my mercy…"
"No, Draco." Dumbledore implored quietly. "It is my mercy, not yours, that matters now."
Hermione watched as Draco began to lower his trembling hand… And screamed her mute frustration when the sound of footsteps thundered up the staircase.
She wrenched up in bed and bit down on her bottom lip to stop the scream from following her into reality. The body next to her shifted and a comforting hand was placed on her shoulder. Unsure who she was speaking to, the deadman from a retold memory or her sleep-deprived friend, she whispered the words that had been battering around inside her head for hours. "I'm so sorry…"
"Shhh…" Ginny shushed the sobs that followed. "Don't you ever be sorry for doin' what Dumbledore told you to do."
"Bill… Neville… Flitwick… That Gibbon man… Dumbledore… Every single drop of blood shed tonight was my fault. I believed he was changing, Ginny. You warned me. I should have listened. I should have turned him in myself. I… I…"
"Stop it. Right now. There is no use in blamin' yourself." Ginny tried to coax her to lay back down. "That monster masquerading as a wizard decided to run away instead of doin' right by the man who laid down his life for him."
She fell into the waiting arms that warmly embraced her. Already forgiven because the witch didn't know how many lies had been concocted to cover for the torturous truth…
Hermione had been poisoned by the Slytherin bully turned Death Eater. She had willingly become a naive damsel who thought if she believed in the hidden goodness of the villain hard enough, he would change for her. How laughable? She didn't live in a storybook. She lived in the real world where people hurt people for the fun of it… Just because they could.
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After the funeral, she had used the excuse of needing to finish packing to sneak away from the somber festivities. Many of the adults gathered had resorted to sneaking drinks from secreted flasks to make it through and had started to display the usual messiness that accompanied such desperate acts. When Hagrid and Slughorn had started singing to the dwindling masses, she had also, as politely as possible, cleared out of the Great Hall…
And found herself in the last place she wanted to be…
Her feet walked the required three passes and she implored the castle with the words that she hoped would call forth her last delusional connection to the boy who had said he loved her.
I need the door to our room… I need the door to our room… I need the door to our room…
The magic imbued within the stone walls immediately responded to her change in phrasing and the familiar door popped into being. She hesitated for half a second before rushing forward and slipping through the wooden gateway into what had been a safe haven. As soon as she stepped inside she verified what she already knew, coming was a mistake.
The refuge her mind sought wasn't there. Nothing had changed. Everything was in its place. His tie still lay where he had discarded it in favor of another kiss before she had left that morning.
But somehow it felt empty…
Like her, the room had been abandoned.
Used for a time and then left behind without a second thought.
A hollow anger spurred her to action and Hermione stomped over to where her stereo sat, grabbed her first attempt at an extension charm, and set about cleansing the room of her presence. She went as far as taking her contributions to his stash of candy in the drawer of the bedside table. It was a small act of rebellion in comparison, but it still gave her a small boost of vindication.
Inspiration struck as she passed the tall bookshelves and she turned to the untapped resource with a smirk. Without a twinge of remorse, she started to pull titles of books she had seen referenced during her excursions into the deepest parts of what was available to Hogwarts students. The darkest of literature that had been pulled from the Restricted Section of the Library for a reason a long time ago.
She would tell Harry and Ron that she got them from Dumbledore's office while packing. They had accepted much shoddier lies the last few months…
Once the weight of the tiny bag nearly toppled her, she moved on to the last physical remnant of her time spent within the cold walls. The tiny flashing blue light on the radio's face signaled that she was wrong, yet again. He had chosen to leave one final gift.
Hermione ignored the petty urge to turn off the vehicle for his parting blow and pressed play so she didn't need to add that rage-fueled stunt to her lengthy list of regrets.
I'm in love with an angel who's afraid of the light.
Her halo is broken but there's fight in her eyes.
Walls are built to keep us safe.
Until they're crashing down.
Worlds apart we were the same.
Until you hit the ground.
Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm weak.
Maybe I'm blinded by what I see.
You wanted a soldier but it wasn't me.
'Cause I could never set you free.
For far too long she stood in the silence that followed. She knew people would start to look for her soon, but she was unable to make her limbs obey the most basic of commands. Dumbfounded by his audacity and the inability to do anything about it, she waited.
And waited…
And waited…
Until the perfect response came to her, granted, it did hinge on Hogwarts remaining open and him returning for his seventh year. Something she was not going to do, no matter what was decided. Nevertheless, her message waited for him.
She placed the locket, with her engagement ring still strung through the chain, on the top of the stereo in clear view of his possible entrance and walked away. The lyrics from her own offering replayed in her mind as she set off to add the overloaded bag to her trunk and make good on her word before rejoining her friends.
Meet me on the battlefield.
Even on the darkest night.
I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage.
And you will be mine.
Echoes of the shots ring out.
We may be the first to fall.
Everything could stay the same or we could change it all.
Hermione could face the future with the tiniest of hopes that his hesitation that night might have meant something…
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Song Credit:
"Angel" by Theory of a Deadman
"Battlefield" by Svrcina