What Lies Ahead
Chapter One
What Happens Next
"Feeling like a boulder hurtling
Seeing all the vultures circling
Burning in the flames I'm working in
Turning in a bed that's darkening"
-Bones by Imagine Dragons
Panic.
Worry.
No, what was pulsing through his body was beyond mere worry, it felt all encasing. It made him feel how he did back before Remington had waltzed into his life, what he was sure would have engulfed him, and reminded him who he was without her. Obsessive, a mind bursting with so many holes, that his focus became single minded, everything else slipping through.
He became someone else.
Not the man that Remi had chosen as one of her own.
But someone darker whose only goal was to get what he wanted.
Remi, safe in his arms, or Daryl's, was what he wanted, what he needed, to calm the beast that gnawed those holes within him.
In this state Shane was willing to do whatever was needed. All sense of morals fled him. It had been like that before, when he first saw Rick show up back in camp, before that moment between him and Remi in that bunker. The him that could have easily become focused on Lori if it hadn't been for that goddess of a woman engulfing him in her light and dragging him from the depths of shadows.
The part of him that had aways been held at bay by civilization and expectations from those around him, but something that thrived in a world like this, where the laws from before no longer held any sway.
It had been a while since Shane had to reign this side of him in.
But it growled, and spat, and fought against any chains that would have it going back away, not when Remi was out there somewhere, safety unknown. Not when he knew she had left their side because Landon hadn't come back when planned.
Part of his family was in danger.
It nipped at his veins, causing them to pulsate, and his heartbeat to be a few decimals too loud. It wouldn't go away until he knew for sure that they were safe. And if they weren't Shane was sure all chance of stuffing it back into the dark corners of his mind would be lost.
That obsessive, dark, part of himself had latched onto Remington. She eased it, tamed the beast, allowed it to roam free with no worries of it lashing out. Shane felt in this moment what it would be like to slip a little further, to lose control, and knew without a doubt that without Remi he'd lose himself completely.
There would be no control.
He'd have to be put down like the animal he'd become.
"She ain't dead," a gruff voice broke him from his spiraling thoughts. "Wipe that look off yer face."
"Not looking like anything," Shane replied, his dark eyes bouncing toward Daryl, as a wave of gratefulness washed over him. He had been slipping. "I know she's not dead. Neither is Landon."
"Then look like it. Ain't gonna be any help if you start letting your mind wander that way."
"Shut up." Shane grumbled, knowing it to be the truth, but far too desperate to really care.
They had headed out the way Merle had said Remington had disappeared in, but it hadn't taken long for them to have to crouch in the tall grass and divert their path in a different direction as they hid from Walkers.
As it was they were playing a game of cat and mouse with the dead and it was all becoming tedious to Shane. His impulse control was shattered. The urge to rip into the dead around him was great, but Shane wasn't suicidal and really that wasn't his goal. It would have been pointless, and for once that beast that ate away at his mind, and Shane, himself, had aims that aligned.
Find Remi.
Find Landon.
Kill anything that got in his way.
Except for Daryl.
He was mindful not to let that part of him gain so much control that Daryl would potentially come at risk. It was a slippery slope losing himself in this way. It became so easy to forget everything outside of who he was focused on. If he didn't remind himself constantly, to place such a firm hold on that single rule right now, there was always the possibility of Daryl slipping through the cracks in his mind.
And that could be dangerous.
Alive or dead, Remington would never forgive him if something were to happen to Daryl, and Shane had actively participated in it.
A scream tore through the air.
Every nerve inside Shane's body came alive, bursting with emotion, that was so overwhelming that it drowned out everything around him. His focus shifted, for a moment he felt empty, and then everything snapped back into focus with such blinding speed that the moon above him was far too bright in that moment, the moans from the dead grated at him, and he almost sprung forward to chase after the noise he just heard.
He would have, had begun to feel his body react, but an arm slamming into his chest caused another round of shattered focus to overwhelm him. The gnawing holes inside his mind were briefly filled as whatever control he had lost leaked back in. Then anger rose up, and that control slipped, barely hanging on by a thread, as he reminded himself that this was Daryl, and not a threat he needed to eliminate.
"What if that's her?" Shane hissed, the words falling out with far more desperation than anger, as turmoil battered his insides. "We need to know."
"It's dark, and whoever made that sound would draw more Walkers in." Daryl's voice was strained, and if Shane had clearly been thinking straight he would have recognized it as the other man barely containing himself. But Shane was barely functioning let alone thinking, and he missed the signs that showed how much Daryl was truly struggling to be the voice of reason. "We've got ta be careful about this so if it is her we can save her."
As they maneuvered out of the field and toward the barn thundering footsteps could be heard up ahead, and Shane felt himself react without thought. There was enough of their people out here that it could be any number of them, but he had already established he wasn't thinking straight, and knowing that it wasn't Remi, nor Landon, too tall for either of them, he lashed out.
He had sprung ahead of Daryl and swiftly took the fleeing figure to the ground, arms pulled behind them, and his knee shoved unforgiving into their back.
Daryl was there in the next second, crouching down, and then motioning for Shane to get off.
"Fuck it's just Carol," he muttered before glancing around for the little girl usually kept at her hip, and who both Shane and Daryl knew had followed her out here earlier. "Git off her."
Shane swiftly pulled himself together, and moved off Carol, who was shaking like a leaf as, yet another person trotted out of the shadows with a frown on his face. Daryl swiftly glared at the man, letting out an angry huff, as he took a few steps toward him.
"What the fuck," he growled, seemingly more and more annoyed by the second and Shane couldn't blame him. Morgan was supposed to be with Merle and the others, heading toward the housing development, and here he was instead. "What are you doin' out here? Supposed to be with the others."
"Don't any of you know what it means to be where your supposed too!" Shane snarled out, feeling far too pissed at the fact that they were going to have to deal with this on top of everything else. "Safety just not a priority of yours or something?" He wasn't able to handle this. His mind far too gone, fighting against the control he tried to regain so he could be the voice of reason, but it wasn't happening. Daryl was gonna have to be the voice of reason cause all Shane wanted to do in that moment was shove both Carol and Morgan away so he could continue on.
"Daryl, Shane," Carol gasped, tears falling down her eyes, as she stared at them both in fear, and sadness.
"Whut?" Daryl asked, his body turning slightly, defensiveness coating him like a second armor has he took in the battered woman in front of him.
"It's Remington. She-."
Shane hadn't been able to keep himself from once more darting forward, grabbing at Carol's arms as he dragged her toward him, his touch barely managing to stay simply firm and not harmful. Something inside of him kept him from throwing himself over that line, his barely functioning mind picking up on the knowledge that Carol wasn't the enemy. He struggled as a part of him began to fear the worst, the way Carol couldn't seem to tell them, only made it worse.
Daryl reached out, lightly nudging at Shane, making him let her go, even against his better judgement as the gruff man did a much better job at appearing approachable than Shane right now.
Shane began to pace, keeping an ear out for the conversation between Daryl, and Carol, as the meek woman finally began to explain to them what had happened. He nearly tripped when she stated that Walkers had drug Remi down, that there hadn't been anything for Carol to do, and that his woman had told her to run.
Remington… taken down by… Walkers.
It didn't feel possible.
His blood ran cold.
The air he had been successfully dragging into his lungs seemed to freeze, and suddenly it was much harder to remember how to get them to move again. Fear, and something much heavier settled over his mind, as a ringing started up in his ears.
He didn't notice the way Daryl had tensed, nor the way his body language showed emotions no one had ever seen from him before. It didn't much matter to Shane at that moment because his world was crashing down around him and all it took was for Carol to finish, telling them where it had happened, to cause Shane to take off toward the barn. A building that he could barely make out in the dark with how far it was away from them.
Where that scream had come from earlier.
A place that would become a hot spot for Walkers drawn in by the noise.
Somewhere Carol had already stated hadn't been safe.
The fact that there were footsteps following him, not able to keep up, because he was running so fast that he was certain he had never managed to reach speeds like this before, hardly broke through the storm of emotions within him. His feet skidded across the ground, the rocks and dirt a hindrance in the dark, and he barely managed to keep from falling. His heart was beating a mile a minute pounding so harshly against his ribcage he was certain it would leave bruises against the muscles there.
There wasn't much in his mind left that was working properly.
Normally he'd hesitate to start shooting knowing there was a herd surrounding them, but it was already here, and more was already coming, and Shane didn't much care about what was smart. All he could think about was ending the lives of the monsters that he had been told took down someone dear to his heart, who kept him from coming undone by the seams, and now there wasn't much thread keeping him intact.
His shot gun was pulled from his back in one fluid motion, and in the next it was being shot, the bullet lodging into the back of the nearest Walkers head. The moonlight didn't give him much of a clear visual, but he watched the body collapse to the ground.
The holes in his mind throbbed as his brown eyes desperately searched the area for where Walkers possibly had someone pinned down, but… there wasn't anything like that going on. There was no feast, or anyone piled on top of each other, just an area having been taken by the dead, who were all clearly also searching for the source of the scream.
Shane could care less about the Walkers, only using his machete to slice down any that came within arm reach as he began to search the area. Moments later arrows sliced through the air announcing that Daryl had managed to catch up, and he could hear Morgan doing the same as him. It eased his racing thoughts, reminded the more feral part of him that they were friends, and not someone to get rid of.
"She was right here," Carol said softly, her voice carrying on the wind. "I swear she was right here." Her voice was far too devastating sounding. It rang harshly through his head. Her voice tinged with regret, and guilt, a clear indicator of how sorry she was, as she pitied him, and Daryl. It made Shane itch but there was nothing he could do to make that sensation go away. Instead, it festered and slowly began to chip away at him.
"Where the fuck is she?" Shane cried, not able to keep himself standing anymore as he fell to his knees. The ground was a mess, tracks like something had tumbled around marked up the area, and Walkers lying dead, that they hadn't killed, were splayed in a tight group near him.
His heart hadn't stopped pounding, and that ringing in his ears seemed to grow louder, as he looked at the clues in front of him. Blood dyed the dirt red, and he didn't need to be a tracker to see where it trailed off into the grass, a clear indicator that since Remi wasn't here it could have been her that wandered off.
Images flashed through his thoughts of her crumpled somewhere in the tree line, blood flowing from her wounds, a messy sight to see, as she took her final breaths. It caused a whimper to bubble up within his throat and he tried to stand, to take off toward where he thought she went, but his legs weren't responding. They seized on him, fear, and sorrow engulfing him, and Shane almost face planted into the dirt, and carnage left behind. His fingers dug into the dirt, leaving behind marks like he had clawed at the ground, as he battled back the sobs that threatened to break through his demeanor.
He couldn't be kneeling here, cursing at the stars, as tears ran down his face, not when Remi needed him. Alive, or dead, she needed him, especially if she had been bitten. A clear death sentence to anyone. She deserved to be surrounded by her loved ones in her final moment, not left alone, gasping for life by herself out in the woods.
"We gotta go find her," he rasped, the words ending far more pitiful than he had hoped for. He was close to breaking. To bending. To fall into that pit that would be nearly impossible to climb back out.
"It's dark, I don't need none of yah mucking the trail up," Daryl said, having moved to stand next to Shane. He reached down, dragging the man to his feet, manhandling him in such a way that Shane couldn't help but stare down at him in surprise and shock once back properly on his feet. "You're gonna go with Morgan, have him lead all ya'll to the development, and I'll bring Remi back to us. No matter what."
Shane began to shake his head before Daryl had even finished his statement. Anger bubbled up, and that piece of him that was holding onto Daryl being an ally was slipping away.
"No. Fuck, no. I'm coming with."
"Don't be stupid, yah barely keeping it together. I don't need yah seeing her and going off the deep end and getting yerself killed as well." Daryl then dragged Shane a few steps away from the trail of Remi's blood that led toward the tree's and shoved him toward Morgan. "Yah gonna make sure those two make it back safely like Rem would have wanted, and yah not gonna fight me. No matter what I end up finding tonight Maisie is still gonna need us."
Shane's whole body shuddered and twitched as he fought against the instincts that rose inside of him to do just that. To fight Daryl, to punch him, to attack, and then take off into the night so that he could search for Remington. He wouldn't stop until he found her. It would just be another task he'd lose himself in.
He battled for control as his jaw ticked, and there were moments of a deep ache as he ground his teeth together, anything to keep the rage bottled up inside. It was unbearable the helplessness that seeped in through the cracks and nearly felt like it would wash him away.
Eventually he relented, the mention of that little girl that had wiggled her way into his heart being the thing to do it, to bring back those glimpses of clarity. Not all of the fight left him but Shane was certain he'd be able to take it out on a few Walkers before they left the farm.
Jerkily, and still not happy with the decision, Shane nodded at Daryl, knowing what he said was the truth, before spinning on his heel and leaving. He didn't give Morgan or Carol a chance to know it was time to leave. He wasn't sure he'd make it off the farm if he had to stick around for a moment longer. If he hesitated even long enough to tell them to come on Shane knew he would just break his word and go back to trying to find Remington.
He'd leave that to Daryl, knowing the man was skilled enough to find her, and that he'd bring her back no matter what.
┈┈┈┈ ․° °․ ┈┈┈┈
Daryl was only keeping it together because everyone else around him seemed to be falling apart. It hadn't taken him long before noticing that whatever calm and togetherness Shane managed to have back at the farm while talking to Merle had slipped away as soon as they slipped into the fields and darkness settled in. Seeing up close how bad it was, the possibility of what Remi was going through by herself, seemed to have destroyed every last bit of who Shane normally was. Daryl wasn't quite sure what to do with the mess of the man he had just sent away with the other two, but he knew it had been the right call.
Shane would have gotten himself killed here tonight.
He wasn't thinking straight.
Daryl was, so he'd go on without him, and he'd find Remington. He'd bring her back.
His heart thudded painfully in his chest as he took off into the grass paying attention to the signs that Remington left behind, as he thought over what Carol had told them.
She had been bitten.
A cold and cruel fact that he hoped wasn't right. Except there was no reason for Carol to lie and he had seen how many Walkers had been taken down, the blood trail that had led to the grass, all the signs pointed to her being injured.
He squeezed his eyes shut, for just a moment, before shoving all of those emotions away, tucking them deep inside himself for later, an action that felt like second nature after a lifetime of doing it. He wore that emotionless state like an armor, letting it flow over him, as he dipped into the tree's finding it harder to track her through here without proper light, but determination was enough.
Getting to Remington before anything else happened to her was the plan.
His insides felt hollow when he thought about how he had just got her into his life, a shining spot on an otherwise dark existence, and… she was going to be snuffed out. His thoughts drifted toward Maisie, to Landon, and he winced at the thought of either of them having to grow up without her in their life. He wondered how the news would even be broken to them. He couldn't fail here, they deserved to be able to say goodbye. Bites were a death sentence, but for those two kids, he'd do anything to bring back their mother before she passed away.
It caused him to move a little faster, using his crossbow to take down Walkers before they even became a threat, as he pushed a little deeper into the woods noticing when Remington went from being by herself, to being joined by another person. Daryl frowned, wondering which person it could have been, and since there was no sign of a struggle he knew it had been someone from their group. He took a moment to reorient himself as a few yards away Walkers nearly mucked up the trail, and forced him to move further ahead, hoping that it became clear he was following the right path.
Even in her wounded state Remington was moving fast, running on instinct he supposed, because there hadn't been a lot of time between that scream and Carol taking them to the barn. He should have caught up to her by now, but if there was one thing he knew about Remi it was that she was strong, a fighter, a survivor. It made something ache within him to know that she was still fighting to survive.
He wondered how long after what happened, happened, would it take for him to turn into Shane. Would that be his path? He wasn't sure. Dary had never allowed himself to care about someone so furiously outside of Merle, and Merle had beaten any feelings of devastation at losing him a long time ago, each time he disappeared taught Daryl how to care a little less each time. Or, at least, that's what he told himself. Merle always came back though, and it was just simply expected, so perhaps Daryl had never truly allowed himself to feel what that would be like. To lose someone you cared about.
His daddy would have told him such emotions were worthless, made you weak, but Daryl had always been the soft one in the family, more like his ma than his old man. He suspected it was why Merle had never truly tried to beat that out of him like their pa had tried. Merle had loved their ma, had taken it hard when she burnt up with that trailer of theirs, and though he gave Daryl shit for being the way he was, he never guided him away from it either.
It had been just him and Merle against the world for so long that adding four new people to that list had done something new to Daryl. New emotions, desires, and wants for the future grew inside of him, things that he had never allowed himself to want in the past. Desires that would be dashed with the absence of Remington, but one thing Daryl knew was that those two kids wouldn't be left on their own.
Daryl wouldn't have been able to ditch them if he tried.
They had wiggled their way into his heart as well.
He figured he wouldn't lose himself like Shane, though the man would probably rejoin them in the land of sanity if he didn't get himself killed before then. No, Daryl would persevere like he always had. He just didn't want to have to do that without Remington.
The thought of how Merle would take the news settled heavily in his stomach as well, cause the old Merle would have gotten angry, perhaps lose himself in drugs, but this new Merle, the one that Daryl had only caught glimpses of in the past, was a mystery.
Shaking his head to free himself of those thoughts, and to focus on the task at hand, Daryl pushed himself forward. The night was alive around him, sounds of Walkers in the distance made him grow cautious, but more importantly than that he thought he could hear quiet whispering ahead of him. It was darker here, where the tree's clustered close together, and kept the moon from shining it's light so Daryl couldn't make out anyone in the distance, but he was certain it wasn't Walkers making those noises.
Making sure to stay as quiet as he normally was Daryl stealthily moved forward, sneaking up on the two figures he could see that were moving quickly away from him. He still couldn't make out their faces, but he saw the way one limped, and the other held the injured one up as they moved as fast as possible away from the farm.
It was enough of a clue for Daryl to know that this was Remington he had been tracking and with that thought in his head he didn't think as he picked up his speed. He watched the way they both swung around, obviously having heard his sudden rapid approach, and when Jenner raised a gun it hadn't been hard for Daryl to snatch it from his hands with ease to keep from being shot at.
"Put that goddamn thing away before yah hurt yerself," he muttered as he ignored the man and turned his full attention toward his woman. His eyes swept over her, even in the dark she looked something awful, and his heart seemed to stutter precariously within his chest.
As he drew closer the sight of a gnarly bite mark on her shoulder became apparent and when he touched her, cupping her cheek gently in the palm of his hand, her skin was feverish.
"Angel." He croaked out as he reached for her. The tone of his voice was detached, a little broken, as he ran his fingers across her sweaty forehead, feeling the fever for what it was.
"Daryl-." She started before pitching forward, her eyes rolling into the back of her head, as she crumbled into his arms causing his heart to pick up speed once more in a thunderous way.