He liked coming here in the middle of the night. This was one of the few places that didn't hold judgment.
The 24 hour diner was usually quietest right at 3:30 am. He frequented it often enough to know when the drunks finally went home and the truly pathetic people like himself came out.
Stop. No negative self talk. The therapist's words were like a mental hand slap. He barely noticed it anymore, only enough to alter his thought process slightly.
He slid into one of the booths that had a view of the front door, and he could see the young waitress who was usually here for the graveyard working on filling the salt and peppers in the corner.
"I'll be there in just a second, hun." She called.
"Take your time." He responded with a small smile.
She walked over to where he sat a few moments later, her little blue dress showing off her baby bump that had started showing last month, her dark hair pulled up away from her face into a ponytail.
When she realized who it was, she smiled. "Hey, stranger. You been doin' okay?"
He nodded, glad he had came in on a day she was working. "Yeah, I'm alright. How about you?"
"A little tired, but I'm making it. You want coffee?"
He smiled. "Yeah, coffee would be great, doll."
She nodded and walked behind the bar counter to pour him a cup of the hot, dark liquid.
"Did you finally get in to see the doctor?" He asked casually. He knew she had had a hard time with getting in to be seen when she found out she was pregnant.
"Yeah….went last week. I have an ultrasound tomorrow." She brought him his cup of coffee, steam rising over the rim as she set it down gently.
"That's great. You hopin' for a boy or a girl?"
"I'm hopin' for a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes."
They both chuckled, and he took a sip of the fresh coffee. "Me too."
"You hungry? I can have Kevin whip up somethin' for you."
"I wouldn't say no to some blueberry pancakes."
"Bacon too?"
"Hell yeah." He said softly.
She chuckled and wore a grin on her face as she went to give his order to the cook.
He sipped on the coffee in the quiet, glancing over at her every so often. She was a sweet girl, didn't really hover. He liked talking to her though.
Her boyfriend was another story. He got a weird vibe from him when he met him once.
He tried not to dwell on it too much. She seemed to be doing alright, even if she was working the graveyard shift at five months pregnant.
She brought him a plate of fluffy blueberry pancakes, and plenty of bacon on the side.
"Kevin is feelin' generous with the bacon." He teased slightly, which earned him a smile from her.
"No such thing as too much bacon, right?" She seemed to stand there for a moment before bringing herself back to the present. "Enjoy your meal."
"Wait." He called out to her as she started to turn away. He gestured to the opposite side of the booth. "Split it with me?"
She hesitated, shaking her head. "Oh, no, I couldn't-"
"Doll. You're pregnant, you're eating for two now. I won't tell a soul if you sit down and eat."
She eyed the plate of pancakes and the stack of bacon, and he could see she was thinking about it.
He watched as she finally gave in, and sat across from him on the booth, and he grabbed a second set of silverware for her off the bar.
She had refused to let him pay for the meal, but that didn't stop him from slipping a $50 bill into her apron.
That was the last time he saw her at the diner.
When he went back a couple months later, the girl who was there in her place told him the news.
She quit without notice last week. I don't know details.
Given her condition, the worry had flared. He looked for her for weeks. The apartment that she had listed as her address was vacant. Nobody matching her name or description at the hospital.
Finally, after three months of searching, he found an address. In the next state over.
It was early in the morning, not quite dawn. He hoped he didn't wake her up, but he just needed to know she was safe.
He knocked softly on the door to the little farmhouse, the secluded and peaceful surroundings a welcome change to the hustle and bustle of the city.
When the door opened, she was wearing pajamas and a robe, her hair unbound and her eyes widened with shock.
"...Bucky?" She breathed.
He nodded. "Hey there."
"How….how did you find me?" She whispered.
"At the risk of sounding like a creep? Google."
She chuckled softly. "Come in. I'll make some coffee."
The sun rose as they talked at her kitchen table. She had told him everything of what happened since she last saw him.
Her boyfriend, the bastard, had gotten really drunk and violent one night, and one of the neighbors called the cops. She called her folks and they booked it to bring her back home. The house was owned by her family, mainly for vacations, but she wanted a place of her own, somewhere quiet.
He breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she had managed to get out safe.
"So, did you…?"
"Have the baby? Yeah. He's sleeping in the next room."
He. She had a son.
Almost as if on cue, he heard an infant crying from the bedroom, and she got up to console the child.
She came back in the room, and the little boy in her arms was clearly hungry. She warmed up a bottle for him, and he was soon busy sucking down his breakfast.
She was swaying softly as she fed him, and Bucky felt the smile creep over his face watching her.
"He's perfect."
She looked up and shared a proud smile. "I think so too."
"You need anything? Food, diapers, formula?"
She shook her head. "No, we're doing okay."
"He's not gonna bother you here, is he?" He asked, still tempted to pummel her asshole ex-boyfriend with his vibranium arm.
"As far as I know, he took off after he was released from jail. Haven't heard hide or tail from him since."
"Good." His tone was a bit rougher than he intended.
She shifted her newborn son in her arms, the boy making it known he was done eating for now. She was about to shift him so she could burp him.
"Let me?" Bucky asked.
There was a look exchanged, of trust. She walked over and gently set her son in his arms, and he held the child, patting his back gently.
A few minutes later, when the child let out a rather loud burp, it caught them both by surprise, and the room was a symphony of soft giggling from her and him both.
He didn't stay long after that, not wanting to interrupt her morning too much, but happy to know she was okay, and that she and her son were safe.
He made a point to visit every few months, just to check in.
He also denied any knowledge of what appeared to be child support being deposited into her bank account every month.
Weird, right?