Date: September 4th, 1999
Dear Diary,
My best friend Patrick and I made complete fools of ourselves last night. We thought all of our friends were aliens, kidnapped them, and carried them to the moon in our friend Sandy's new rocket! Allow me to give you the details before you think that I belong in a nut house. Patrick and I went to spray the windows on the rocket with alien repellent last night. Sandy and I were supposed to travel to the moon today. Due to our childlike curiosity, we ended up fooling around in the control room and accidentally starting the rocket. It transported us to outer space, but only for a short spell before returning us to Bikini Bottom. We assumed the moon looked like home, and that the aliens were projecting the images of our friends from our memory onto the environment. (They were making us see our friends instead of seeing them.) In order to trick us into interacting with them and giving them the opportunity to infiltrate our minds! We traveled around the city, capturing every last one of our friends with net-shooting pop guns like they were a fresh crop of hickory smoked sausages! Sandy used that simile when she found us stuffing everyone in the storage compartment at the bottom of the rocket. We bagged her up as well. It wasn't until we flew to the actual moon and saw the Earth from it that we realized we had made a humiliating mistake! Nobody I know is going to ever look at me without remembering this for a long time. Maybe I'm better off living among the jellyfish. At least until everyone forgets this happened. I don't know. Maybe.