Never Had A Friend Like Me

Chapter 28: Never Had A Friend Like Me

All that awaited him was the encroaching dark.

Don't worry, babybones.

I'm gonna fix this.

Sans stared up at the dragonesque skull shaped machine, lurking over a pit in the dark. He could hear the amalgamates wandering the halls, but he wasn't all that bothered. Not after this long.

He had work to do.

Keys clicked and clacked as he typed away at the slightly rusted computer, the bleach white light the only source of illumination in the dark room. Skeletal phalanges ticked away as he searched and searched, his eye sockets feeling heavy as he worked. It had to be here. Something had to be here. Anything . He needed more information. He couldn't just give up. He couldn't afford not to care anymore. There was so much to do. But where was he even supposed to start in these massive digital archives?

"Come on…" Sans murmured to himself. "Come on, give me something ."

"S-Sans?"

Sans jolted in the worn swivel chair, swirling it around and dragging his slippers across the floor.

"Hey Al," Sans gave a little wave, watching the nervous scientist tapping her claws together awkwardly. She wore pajamas underneath her white lab coat, glasses dangling from her pointed snout.

"W-what are y-you doing down here?" Alphys gawked at him. He was certainly a sight. There were bags under his eye sockets, his clothes were a mess, and he looked ready to drop at a moment's notice. She sniffed uneasily at the air for a moment. "S-Sans, you l-llook, I-I mean… gosh. Have… have you b-been drinking again?"

"Um… maybe?" Sans shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Just… just gotta fix it. Gotta be something here. Gotta fix it. Gotta fix it…"

"A-are you, um… okay?" Alphys danced from foot to foot. He looked so worn down, so tired, so haggard, it was making her extremely uneasy. "Sans, y-you don't l-look so good. W-what are you e-even doing d-down here this late?"

"I've… I've got a problem, Al," Sans began unsteadily, almost looking ready to fall over. His cheeks were a pallid shade of gray with a dash of embarrassed blue, and he couldn't quite meet her gaze. "I, uh… yyou know those books on souls I borrowed?"

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't enough," Sans continued, rubbing his temples wearily. "I decided to check out some of the old computers to see if I could dig anything up."

"Why is it so important?" Alphys asked curiously, standing beside him and peering over his shoulder at the screen, glancing over the old reports.

"I… I need to know more about soul bonds."

"I-I-I, w-what?" Alphys balked at him. "Why do you… oh. Oh, oh my god," a tiny grin began growing on her lips. "Are you thinking of-of finding your special someone? Oh my god, Sans, why didn't y-you just tell me?"

"It's not like that…" Sans closed his eye sockets with a weary sigh. "I… I need to know how to break a soul bond."

Alphys stared at him for almost half a minute.

"Why?" she asked simply.

"I… I, uh…" he interlocked his phalanges and stared into the screen to avoid her gaze. "I've… got a little problem. And… and I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm not sure what to do, Alphys. And to be honest, it… it scares the shit out of me."

"Sans…?" Alphys asked softly, folding her claws behind her back. "You… you k-know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Of course, Al…" Sans answered quietly, closing his eye sockets again and letting out a quiet sigh. "I'm just… god. I'm tired. I'm so, so tired ."

"Did something h-happen?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," he shrugged bitterly, glancing over to her. "I… I don't know how it even happened."

"Sans? Are… are you implying t-that you actually soul bonded with someone?"

"… Yeah." Sans blew out a breath through his teeth. "That's why I need to break it before they get hurt."

"Sans, soul bonding isn't all that scary," Alphys blinked. "I mean, I've looked into it plenty - I-I mean, not for any particular reason, it's just that some relationships-"

"I soul bonded with the human."

Alphys choked suddenly, gawking at him.

"Sans, what in the fuc-"

"NOW do you get it?" he scowled, running a hand down his face. "I have to fix this, Alphys. I have to."

"But-but-but… !" she spluttered, staring at him in horror and disbelief, looking like she was about to be ill. "Sans, they're… ! Oh god, why would you do something l-like that…?

"I didn't do it on purpose !" he was almost shouting defensively, smacking himself inwardly when she flinched. "I don't even know how it happened! All I know is that I have to fucking fix this. I need to fix this, Alphys, and-and I… I don't… !"

He sobbed dryly into his hands, groaning aloud. Sans was shaking so badly that his bones were rattling. He was almost collapsing where he sat, caved in on himself so much that he looked ready to drop and dust at a moment's notice.

"I… I dunno what to do," he gestured uselessly at the computer screen, wiping his eye sockets angrily. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what the right thing is to do anymore, Al. I'm just… screwed . No matter what I do. Once again, completely fucked over by the cosmic dick of the universe."

"How-how did something like… like that even happen ?" she took a shuddering breath.

"I think it might be related to how much I've had to heal them," he started slowly, thinking heavily. "I told ya how bad they looked. I'm not good at green magic. You and me both know this. They reacted… strangely to it, to say the least. I'm wondering if that's how I accidentally created a bond between us."

"Christ almighty," Alphys released another shaky sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. "This… this is pretty fucked up, Sans."

Sans openly cringed. It wasn't often that Alphys swore. In fact, it was close to never, he'd only heard her do it twice, and it seemed almost unreal that profanity stained her lips.

"You think I don't know that?" he sighed again, pinching his nostril bone in irritation. "I gotta fix this, Al. And fast. If this goes on for much longer, Frisk might… might see… They absolutely cannot be allowed to see me for… what I am," he finished uselessly, letting his hands hang by his sides.

"What d-do you mean by that, Sans?"

"I've been researching," he explained slowly. "And I… I saw things, I think, when the bond was developing. Like… like I was seeing inside them. And every known report I've found on soul bonds implies possible shared memories. If… if by any chance, that kind of bond works both ways… god. God help me," he was shaking by this point. "Alphys, they can't be allowed to see."

"Allowed to see what?" she blinked curiously. "S-Sans?"

"I'm… I'm not a good person, Al," Sans shivered a little. "I am probably the worst possible thing for that poor kid in the whole Underground. If they get too close to me, if that soul bond manages to let them-them see me like I could see them, then… shit," he swore loudly. "I've-I've seen things, Al. Despicable, horrible, awful things. I… I can't let that spread to them. I just can't."

"Are you…. are you talking about…?" she started, but Sans cut her off.

"Don't say his name," he warned her. "Don't even think it. He'll just be getting what he wanted. To be remembered forever. Fuck him, and the skeletal horse that he rode in on."

Alphys let out another weary sigh and leaned against one of the warm computer towers, crossing her arms.

"… Y-you really a-are freaked out a-about this, huh," she seemed to say more to herself than anything. "I mean, it's no wonder, but… geez."

"… Alphys," Sans began slowly, interlocking his phalanges. "You know about EXP and LV, right?"

"Well, duh," she rolled her eyes.

"Do you remember when you tried scanning me with that device of yours?"

"Y-yeah?" she blinked uncertainly. "Can't forget it, I spent weeks trying to fix that thing. It just came up with errors."

"That wasn't an error, Alphys. The machine works fine," he explained quietly. "There are… there are some things, some actions that-that stain your soul. Forever. Things that can't be as easily quantified and calculated. That's why it didn't work. Why it never will. I am… wrong, Al. I am a disease for which there is no vaccine. You couldn't begin to imagine what… what I am."

"I think you're wrong."

"… 'scuse me?"

"I t-think you're wrong," Alphys crossed her arms tightly. "For as long as I've k-known you, you've been a good person. A good friend . The whole reason that y-you're d-down here is because you're trying to do what you t-think is right. That's… that's pretty commendable on its own," she said softly, placing a claw on his shoulder with a gentle smile. Sans couldn't even bring himself to speak, it felt like his throat was clenched up, his chest tightened too much. "It takes a lot of guts to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is. I only wish I could b-be that brave."

Sans almost collapsed back into the seat. It felt… as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt shaky and clammy, and a little sick, but… different. To think that Alphys of all people… on second thought, maybe he should have come to her sooner.

"… T-thanks, Al," Sans gave a weak laugh. "I… I think I needed ta hear that, even if I didn't know I did."

"Glad to help," she smiled kindly at him. "Now, let me see if I can help dig up t-the right f-files for you. We've got a lot of work ahead of us if we're going to fix this mess."

"You'll… you'll still help me?"

"Um. Duh? You're, like, o-one of my best friends. What do y-you think friends are for?"

Sans stood abruptly and caused her to jump a little, but he only leaned in and gave her a tight hug, causing her to flush slightly.

"God I'm glad we're on the same team, Al," Sans chuckled, his throat feeling oddly tight.

"Come on, Sans. Let's get to work."

Sans felt… refreshed.

Exhausted and tired beyond belief, but refreshed. He fell through the shortcut and landed in the dark living room, letting out a tired sigh as he glanced around and let his eye sockets adjust. Papyrus was nowhere to be seen, but Frisk was sitting up on the couch watching a Mettaton special. They perked up almost immediately upon seeing him, bolting from beneath their blanket and wrapping their arms tightly around his midsection and burying their face in his jacket.

Sans was just glad that they didn't scream at the first sight of him.

"Sans !" Frisk chirruped happily, albeit a bit muffled.

"Heyya, Frisky-bits," Sans grinned, hugging them back. "Sorry I was gone for so long. Had a lot of stuff to dig through."

Frisk ignored him and eagerly pulled him by the hand to the couch, crawling up onto it and patting the seat next to him, beaming the entire time.

"Alright, alright," he snorted, flopping onto the end of the couch and grinning at them. "Guess I did promise to read ya a bedtime story, didn't I?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Frisk said quietly, not letting go of his hand. "I'm just glad you're back."

There again was that mysteriously warm sensation in his chest, and he sighed.

"… How about this one?" Sans picked up the book from the wooden stand by the couch. Frisk nodded happily and curled up on the couch next to him, leaning against him as he opened the joke book.

Inside was a quantum physics book.

"Huh. So that's where I put that," he shrugged and opened the book.

Inside was another joke book.

Inside that was another quantum phsyics book.

Inside that was another joke book.

"… You wanna just watch tv instead?" Sans closed all of the books.

"I can live with that," Frisk leaned into his side with a lopsided hug. Sans shrugged and slowly closed his eye sockets, holding Frisk close as they drifted off listening to the ramblings of a killer robot about precooked pastries.

Maybe things wouldn't work out perfectly. Maybe there was no point to anything.

But as long as he had his friends, as long as he had his family, as long as he could just hold on to the ones that he loved, maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.