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Disclaimer: I built a time machine so I could go back in time and publish Harry Potter ahead of J. K. Rowling, therefore making me the author and creator of the franchise, but I sadly ran out of worcestershire sauce and I couldn't get the 900,000 rabbits needed to power the machine, so I am still not the owner, and I am relegated to writing FanFics of the story instead.

Author's Note: I'm literally pulling ideas out of my arse, so I apologise if it sucks. That said, I do hope you enjoy how it progresses. Also, yeah, input appreciated on how to deal with reviews from scammer bots offering to illustrate my stories, because I am starting to get them in PMs like three a day and the false reviews in my stories. I mean it's nice they're being so positive, but at the same time it's annoying because I know they're not real people.

Chapter 3

If anyone asked, Pansy would never ever admit how she'd been trembling and sweating bullets at the sight of four students approaching her, and three of them were bleeding lions.

Luna was an anomaly.

Nobody seemed to know what to expect with the tiny blonde. She was a year younger than all of them, and was weirder than a spazzed out cat. Pansy would know, she had a spazzed out cat, and he was always staring at a corner in the bedroom, meowing away as if having a conversation with something only he could see.

It didn't help that at one point the blonde did exactly the same thing just before she started the lesson.

Salazar help her, she was becoming a Professor. She saw the way Harry none-too-subtly eyed her clothing. She could only imagine what he thought.

Not that his thoughts bothered her at all. All part of the ruse.

To be perfectly honest, Pansy hadn't expected things to go so smoothly like they did. And while wariness was to be expected between (former?) enemies - Merlin that was weird even to think! - she was expecting at least some passive aggressive remarks from Weasley, or for Granger to try and prove she knew better.

But all those two did was pay sharp attention to her, and/or take notes.

Potter did too.

Then there was Lovegood.

She couldn't tell if the little blonde was paying any attention at all, and when they'd gotten round to trying out the potion, she'd...honestly expected at least Lovegood's potion to blow up in her face.

If that had happened, she wasn't likely to be able to maintain her composure and she'd laugh in her face.

But no explosions occurred.

Pansy had taken them all through some of Professor Snape's secret techniques which were admittedly...mostly just using common sense and understanding how the various ingredients worked, and what tools were best for the ingredients that couldn't just be tossed into a cauldron.

It was here, that she most expected Granger to protest since some of the book's instructions called for cutting instead of crushing or squeezing and extracting certain parts. But again, all Pansy got was the bushy-haired witch opening her mouth, then looking pointedly at Pansy, who offered her explanations.

"The books have to generalize or simplify for the students based on the age group, but Professor Snape has obviously surpassed student level expertise, and knows more effective methods, some of which can be a bit involved from the basic methods given by the books."

This earned a reluctant nod.

Now that they were making the Wiggenweld potions, she watched the other four, and was intrigued to see how well they followed her provided methods. Weasley was still a bit crude and a tad generous in the ingredients he applied.

"Careful, Weasley," said Pansy, "too much extract of the flobberworm mucus will make the potion more like jelly."

"Oh," he grunted, "right."

Potter was almost as precise as Granger, so it looked like they were doing fine, and would probably half the time needed to make their potion.

Which left the trio's pet cat in human form.

Pansy blinked.

Lovegood blinked back.

Pansy blinked again.

The blonde had stopped her stirring when Pansy's attention fell on her, and she'd taken to just staring at her with those weirdly large eyes and a dreamy smile on her face.

She was confident that she had seen Lovegood adding porcupine quills instead of lionfish spines, and while she certainly did not have Professor Snape's level of expertise in substituting ingredients, Pansy was fairly certain students shouldn't be trying such unsupervised! She held no illusions that she could be witnessing a disaster of epic proportions about to unfold...and she was going to lose a very expensive Alchemist's set.

Only that didn't happen. After some time of silent staring and blinking, Lovegood resumed tending her cauldron and while the end result was a lighter shade of green with even an ethereal glow, the potions all looked good.

They finished and filled up bottles with the potion, ensuring everyone had their own supply. Then they all cleaned up the cauldrons and put away the cutlery and station desks.

When they were done, they all gathered in a loose semi circle, facing Pansy.

"Great job, all of you," said the brunette.

"I mean...it came out well enough," said Potter, nodding, "but Snape's not likely to have us brew this potion again."

"Of course not," said Pansy, "I didn't make you lot go through a first year lesson for nothing. I merely wanted us to have a…a…foundation of sorts. We'll take potions from several years, including our present, with the understanding of alternative methods. The Wiggenweld is the easiest. Once you have an idea of how ingredients can be prepared and applied, you'll reduce the time you need for most potion brewing and maybe, just maybe…impress Professor Snape enough that he'd stop...being such a...well, you know."

Weasley smirked, Granger frowned, and Potter nodded.

Lovegood was smiling at something past Pansy's shoulder.

"Well, that's it for today," said Pansy, "...how was…uhm…how was it?"

Her uncharacteristic nervousness made the three Gryffindors give a small start, and Lovegood looked at Pansy with a suddenly critical eye, and for whatever reason, it made Pansy feel even smaller, and also nervous about being called out for being up to something.

Which she was, but she wasn't going to admit that or even think about it.

"Very informative," said Granger.

"Interesting," offered Weasley.

"I think it's helpful," said Potter, with a smile, "thanks for taking the time. I know it can't have been easy."

Lovegood beamed up at Potter and then nodded at Pansy, as if throwing in her lot with whatever the green-eyed boy decided.

"You're welcome then," said Pansy, "and if we're on that subject...about Professor Umbridge. I guess it goes without saying, but…be careful around her. She wants to provoke you."

"This is hardly news, Parkinson," retorted Weasley, "you all saw what happened in that first lesson with her."

Pansy rolled her eyes, "Exactly, we all saw Pot-Harry taking the bait and giving that woman everything she needed to throw him and Headmaster Dumbledore under the Knight Bus."

Granger stayed silent, but Weasley and Potter both looked mutinous.

"You're saying that Harry shouldn't respond to anything Umbridge does?" asked Lovegood.

That was a good opening for Pansy to give her two knuts.

"Well, not anything, but maybe not about the stuff she claims are lies, like You-Know-Who being back."

"But that isn't a lie!" said Potter hotly.

"It doesn't matter!" Pansy snapped back, "Okay, so say he's back, and we all agree, what do you expect me, or any of your friends to do? Prepare for war?"

"Yeah, that'd be a good start," replied Potter.

"You could tell your family," offered Weasley, then he snapped his fingers, "but oh wait, your family would already know that, wouldn't they? Being his servants and all."

Pansy's face suddenly shifted to an alarming shade of red that both Granger and Lovegood actually took a few steps back, clutching their books tightly. Even Potter looked surprised, but Weasley simply watched her expectantly.

"YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE I'M IN SLYTHERIN MY FAMILY'S AUTOMATICALLY DEATH EATERS? WELL GO TO HELL, WEASLEY!"

She turned around and swished her wand a few times, making furious, violent movements that sent her ingredients packing loudly into the magical cupboards and drawers, with the cauldrons flying and crashing back in the lower cabinets.

She whipped her head back to look at Weasley when she was done, who had the sense to look a little contrite.

"My father was a Hufflepuff, and my mother a Ravenclaw."

Pansy let out a long, slow breath, then stalked towards him, "My father died fighting You-Know-Who on the day of my birth. Interestingly, he died protecting a man by the name of Weasley."

Weasley blanched at this revelation.

"You can see yourself out. You know enough of the foundation for your Potions work with the notes I gave. Granger can help you three along if you want to find out more. Goodbye."

"I…" Weasley started, but Potter put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

With Granger giving her one last look, the four of them left Pansy alone.

"Bollocks," said Pansy, when she was sure they were out of earshot.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

She hadn't lied about her father. This was apparently what happened, according to her mother. It was his marriage to her mother that led to the rumours of his association and loyalty to the Death Eaters and Voldemort. It was the furthest thing from the truth, and Arthur Weasley knew it, but for some reason, had seen fit not to tell his children about that fact.

And Pansy hated it. Hated the assumptions about her family and allegiance. She only threw in with Draco because she was utterly bonkers about him, and he treated her nicely. She didn't really care about his allegiances or what he preferred to think about the last war. It was over. Who cared about who was right or wrong? They should only care about who's left.

Still, she dreaded having to explain why the Potions lessons started and ended with just one lesson. She doubted after her rude and extreme outburst, they'd want anything to do with her ever again.