Past
"Run all you want, there's no escape."
The battle cry tore across the battlefield, chasing Marinette as she desperately dashed through the thin layer of smoke and debris littering her path. She bit down on her lip, feeling the hot lashings of enemy fire licking at her heels, urging her lungs to gasp out in despair, but she powered on. Eventually, she saw the closest thing to sanctuary, a tall and sturdy surface, enough to provide cover from the attack. It would only be temporary, she told herself, but she wouldn't last making a run for the nearest escape route.
Her knees buckles, letting her body drop into the smoothest slide of her life that rocketed her towards her destination. When she felt the base of the structure press against her palm, she gripped whatever she could tightly and pulled herself towards it, directing the momentum of her slide to pivot her around the corner and leave her tumbling behind her make-shift shelter.
In this moment of respite, where she had time to breathe out her aching soul, to let her limbs collapse in effortless defeat, she stared out into the battlefield. Destruction littered every edge of her vision, leaving no escape from the toll, the cost of the battle. Looking at it all, taking it in, Marinette could only think of one thing.
Her parents were going to kill her.
Behind her, on the other side of the kitchen, she spotted Adrien stumbling to retrieve the spilled tray of burnt, ruined cupcakes he was using as ammo. She had no idea how their little war had begun, only that he had struck first and hard. The scoundrel had ambushed her as she was marvelling over the first batch of cupcakes that came out right.
Now, she took no small delight in watching him trip up over the patches of wet flower she'd used as a make-shift bomb.
"Adrien. Don't you dare!" She called out from behind the counter, all intended warning made inert by her inability to hide her giggling.
Discarding the baked corpses, Adrien shifted gears to surge forward, scooping up a handful of flour as he moved. With grace Marinette would dare call cat-like he launched himself up, the tips of his toes finding a perch in the countertop, allowing him to leer over her, crouched on the edge of her shelter, and dump his deadly flower weapon all over her hair. And he did it all with a sickeningly eager, energetic grin that reminded her of… Something she couldn't quite pinpoint.
She gasped, "It's my kitchen, I can kick you out."
"Ah, but you won't." He dropped down to sit beside her, reaching up to wipe flour off her cheek. Though, considering his fingers were rough with the devil's baking product themselves, all he ended up doing was adding to the damage. "And your mother loves me too much to let you."
"This is a blatant abuse of power, bribery and emotional blackmail!" Marinette huffed, having the fortunate effect of blowing flour particles into Adrien's stupid smug face. The suddenness of action threw Adrien on his back, still laughing, though now in between coughs.
Despite the desire to grumble at his obstructive antics, Marinette couldn't help the traitorous butterflies that fluttered in her stomach at the sight. To keep up appearances she hid her enchanted grin behind scathing pout over her face, pushing herself to her feet and scrambling for the sink as quickly as possible. It was a treasure seeing Adrien like this, carefree, unburdened, just being the secret goof ball he was never allowed to be under the intense expectations that followed him his whole life.
Even when they started dating last year these sorts of moments only came in flickers, in half-muttered awkward jokes escaping his lips in the heat of the moment before he looked away and choked them down. She couldn't see the old Adrien being comfortable enough to do this, let alone comfortable enough with her. Then again, she couldn't see the old her being comfortable enough to do this either, not without having a self-imposed heart attack.
He set himself up beside her as she washed her hands under the faucet, he leaned in closer than he should, she could feel those gorgeous green eyes baring into her; and she didn't faint. Her insides melted and she bit back a satisfied sigh, but she didn't so much as stutter or sweat despite having the man of her dreams within cuddling distance. She treated him like her boyfriend.
This was what Alya would call 'progress'.
She eventually had to face him, squeezing out a wet cloth over the sink before pressing it to his temple. Now, wiping the cloth across his forehead, feeling the heat radiating off his body and watching his lips linger tantalizingly close? That made it a little more difficult to resist swooning.
However, it did help that the thick layer of white made Adrien look like a bargain bin mime.
However, it didn't help when he observed her conflict of passion and winked at her. "I thought I'd change things up, see how you like 'bad boy' Agreste." He said. "You know, try a new 'me' after graduation."
Scoffing, Marinette wiped down his lips, leaving a sharp line between his creamy skin and the pale addition. "You have, and never will be, a bad boy." She pressed a soft kiss against the newly polished lips, swiping the cloth up his cheek, pulling it back to stretch his smile. "You're too mushy for it. Could never go that long without smiling."
He shrugged, pressing a kiss on her nose, taking on the mischievous look again. "Well, if you say it, it must be right. I wouldn't look that good in leather anyway."
"Now hold on a second…" This time, she couldn't stop the deep red flush flooding her cheeks, already knowing that the words 'Adrian' and 'leather' would be keeping her up at night. Her voice trembled. "I-I'm not the… Uh… Arbiter of all fashion choices. You know?"
He leaned away from her, appraising her crumbling state like one would appraise a jewel to put on display. Though his grin was brighter than any gem stone. "Maybe not, but you are the expert of what looks good on me."
She curiously watches as his hand dug into the insides of his jacket, retrieving a small pink book from it's fold. A pink book that looked awfully familiar now that she- Her design book! Instantly, she lunged forward, arms outstretched for the book while her boyfriend leveraged his unfair height advantage to hold it out of her reach. "Gah! Where did you get that? I've only ever trusted that book to-" Her shrieking was cut short by a sudden revelation, devolving into a venomous hiss. "Alya."
Six long years of her vibrant passion for fashion, and her primal obsession with Adrien Agreste, filed away under pages and pages of drawings depicting everything her uncontrollable heart wanted to see Adrien in. And she meant everything.
Then another fearful thought struck her. Oh god, what if he saw the pages during her Chat Noir phase. He might think she still has a thing for Chat Noir! Not that her kitty isn't handsome, and attractive and capable of attracting a girl. She just doesn't want to make Adrien suspicious. Which he has no reason to be, because he's better than Chat Noir. Which isn't an insult, Chat has his own girlfriend. Not to imply she'd be dating Chat if he were available.
Which is to say- Oh god he's flicking through the swimsuit section. Kill me now. Plagg, I beg you, strike me down. Cataclysm this entire building. Please.
Adrien held up his hands in defence. "Hey, she just asked me to give it back to you, she never told me to look inside."
Finally, she managed to swipe the incriminating evidence from his hand and stuff it up her shirt. "Maybe there's some bad boy energy in there after all." She sighed, hopping away from him.
He bent his smirk into a wistful semi-frown, a silent question of 'No hard feelings, right?' he always did when things were getting a bit too chaotic. She answered him with a small smile as she pulled a broom from the cupboard, making his expression immediately brighten. "But I hope you're not too 'bad' to help me clean up your mess."
The next ten minutes were educational for both of them. Adrian learned that he could not, despite his boasting, carry three trash bags and a pile of dirty trays all at once. Marinette learned that she had the reflexes of a gymnast on trapeze, lunging in-between him and the floor to catch the bundle of rubbish before it hit the ground. She also learned that she smelled worse than the bags she was catching. So, at Adrian's insistence that he's 'got this handled', Marinette slipped out of the kitchen to shower.
She tried not to look too surprised when she returned to find that the Adrian hadn't set the kitchen on fire. This time. Instead, she found him leaning against a wet counter, sponge and cloth in hand as he aggressively scrubbed at particularly determined spot. His phone sat next to him, a news broadcast playing at full volume.
Nadja Chamack faded into view as Marinette passed, sitting across from a short woman whose face was obscured by comically large glasses. "Don't be bemused, it's just the news. We're back with Orpha Fran, a budding author visiting the city of love to tells us all about her new autobiography, 'Lost and Found: Hidden Impact'. You were just telling us how important getting your story out there is for you."
"Thanks again for the invite, Nadja." Orpha's voice buzzed through the phone. Marinette immediately found the sharp edge to the low-quality sound mixed with the woman's voice made her ears itch. "The phrase 'What you don't know can't hurt' is one you hear a lot in life, and always as an excuse. That's what my parents thought when they decided they would never tell me that I wasn't their biological child. They probably thought they were protecting me, that I wouldn't be able to handle knowing that, in some people's eyes, that made my connection to my parents somehow lesser."
Poor girl, Marinette thought. She could only imagine how awful it would feel to suddenly find out that a loved one has been lying to you the entire time. I'm sure her parents wanted to protect her, but…
Marinette sat herself on the edge of the counter, grinning down at Adrien's futile war with the annoying spot. He didn't even notice her presence, his focus so intense he was gritting his teeth and starting to sweat.
Nadja said, "Well, it is a big thing to drop on a child who probably doesn't understand what it all means."
An uncharactistic growl escaped the frustrated Adrien, throwing his cloth at the damn spot and crossing his arms in an adorably childish manner. He finally noticed his girlfriend leaning over him, that heart melting grin returning to his face as he sets his eyes on her. He says something about how good she looks when her hair's down, but Marinette barely catches it, her ears still tuned to the phone.
Orpha continued, "Oh yes, it is. I'm not denying that they had good intentions, but I believe that by lying about it, they didn't protect me from the weight of the truth, they just ended up… Denying me time to process it."
As she smoothed her hair over, Marinette found her fingers stopping over her miraculous earrings, her thumb stroking the jewellery in slow, circular motions as if she were petting Tikki. It made her think of Ladybug, and Chat Noir, making her feel the need to tell this total stranger that the truth isn't always for the best. Lying isn't nice, but there's plenty of times Marinette's needed to lie for the greater good.
"Are you saying there's no situation where lying is a good thing?" Nadja's question drew out an instinctual nod from Marinette, her mental voice growing more and more defensive. If Marinette told the truth, she'd get people hurt, she'd put a target on her loved ones back. Is that what this lady wanted her to do? To endanger her family? Or the miraculous? "I'm sure you explore this in-depth in your book, but there are surely times where the truth can hurt more than it helps. There can be helpful lies."
"I was devastated when I learned that I was adopted. You know, it suddenly felt like every happy memory I had with my family was brought into question. Were they real? Were there any times that me being adopted might have been a part of the problem? Do they ever regret it?"
Of course, we regret it, Marinette's internal voice grumbled, it hurts like hell to lie. She felt Adrian grip her fingers, giving them a supportive squeeze meaning her frustration had pulled her lips into a frown. She couldn't help it. She knew this wasn't related to her at all, but somehow it felt like this woman was talking directly to her, judging her.
"I firmly believe that the truth will always come to light. No matter how deep you try to bury it, it will always eventually surface."
Her heartbeat faster, harder, angrier. Indignation burning like a freshly lit flame.
And what did Miss Fran know? She wasn't a superhero, she wasn't a guardian, she didn't have to face certain death since her teenage years or uncover that the love of her life was the son of her greatest enemy. What gives her the right to lecture others on how the truth is always good and no one should lie? Who was going to tell Adrien the truth? The only people left who know are her and Nathalie, and they could damn well go their entire lives without bringing it up. So how was the truth gonna 'come to light', Fran? Huh? Huh!?
"When you lie, you don't stop the truth from coming out, you just ensure that someone else's version of it comes out before yours."
"Mari." Adrian caught her cheek, pulling her forward gently to catch his gaze. She sunk into his eyes, the brightest shade of green, feeling his comfort wash over her like cold water simmering down the rampant inferno spreading throughout her body. "It's okay."
And he'd always be okay. He was the sweetest boy she'd ever met, sharing the brightest smile and loving nature in spite of the tragedies the world heaped on him. In spite of the cold, neglectful father that used to control his life. He'd be okay. She'd made sure of it.
Orpha didn't have Adrien. Because if she did, she'd look into those eyes, just as Marinette was doing now and forever, she'd fall in love with those eyes and know that this boy deserves the world. That he deserved the comforting fantasy of a father who, while rough on the outside, ultimately proved to be a hero in the end. That no lie can ever be worse than a truth that brought this wonderful boy even more turmoil. That nothing could compare to the risk of him losing his smile.
She kissed him as the interview came to a close.
"Well, those are some words that'll keep some of us up at night, Orpha."
"Despite appearances, this is ultimately an optimistic book. I swear."
"That's 'Lost and Found: Hidden Impact', look for it in your local bookstore. Next up: we'll be opening the table to our discussion panel to look back at the fallen hero of Paris, Gabriel Agreste, and his impact not just on the fashion world, but the community itself. As well as the rising speculation on Monarch's successor and if our miraculous heroes are doing as good-"
The phone clicked off. Adrien slipped it into his pocket, pain flashing through his eyes before being flushed out with a sigh. It may have been a year, and Marinette could attest that Adrien was handling his father's passing better than most, but she could always find herself spotting the small ways the pain still came out raw for him.
She remembered prompting him about it, asking how she could help. At first, he attempted a weak grin, but buckled before the façade could set in place, simply admitting that 'It'll never stop hurting, but that doesn't mean I'll let it control me. I can't make the same mistake my dad made.'. That still didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around him squeezing him like a teddy bear, not that he seemed to mind.
He'd also say how much it helped that he could focus on the positives. His father may have died, but he left this world a hero. Adrien could find solace and strength in that. Marinette often pondered if he'd find that same strength if he knew the truth.
So, she asked.
"Do you believe in that?" Her head buried in his shoulder, lips grazing his shirt. Her already muffled voice was so quiet.
She could imagine his brows furrowing into that look of empty confusion taking over his face. "In what? Adoption?"
With Adrien's shoulder in the way, Marinette's scoff came out more like a horse flapping it's lips. "What Nadja said. About 'helpful lies'. Lying can be good sometimes, right?"
"That depends." He leaned back, taking hold of Marinette's arm to lightly pull her into view. He gazed down at her through concerned, but knowing, eyes. If there was one annoying, yet heartwarming, skill he'd developed since they got together, it was Adrian 'Just a friend' Agreste's ability to read her. "Mari?"
Her eyes darted away. She couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to risk her resolve shaking under his loving gaze. "What if it's a secret, a bad secret, something that would just hurt everyone involved if they knew? And it's not like it would help anyone to know the truth." The words were easier to say than to digest, unloading every little explanation she fed a weary Tikki and Plagg on the matter. Everything was easier when she was staring at the floor. "All you'd accomplish by telling the truth is hurting, or even endangering, people. Does the truth even matter at that point?"
She heard his teeth bite down on a sigh, picturing it accompanied by that grimacing look he gives when he doesn't see the big deal, but can clearly see it's a big deal to her. Of course it would, he thought he finally had everything figured out, knew everything he needed to know. He wasn't living with the burden of such heavy secrets day in and day out. He shouldn't understand why it's so important. "Are we talking about telling lies or keeping secrets?"
Marinette blinked, "There's a difference?"
His fingers idly rubbed circles into her shoulder as he spoke, "Telling someone something you know is false is a different issue from telling someone there are things you can't tell them about."
Marinette's grip on his hips tightened and her face fell, knowing it was pointless to try and pretend otherwise. "And if it's a lie that's covering up what you can't tell someone?"
"Then it's…" Adrien's shoulders fell limp, his lips pursed in a tense line by the time Marinette finally looked back at him. "Complicated?" He flinched, cringed at his inability to provide a more helpful answer for her dilemma.
She cringed at her rather unfair hope and expectation that he would provide her a comfortable answer that would flush away all this doubt weighing her down. That he'd provide her an easy way out.
"It's always complicated."
"That's life, Mari." He sighed, "Look, I believe people are entitled to the truth. Lies just make everything messy, you know? Like the book lady said, they'll just keep piling on and poisoning everything you've ever said."
Marinette lost her nerve, her head automatically turning away once more, but this time Adrien's fingers caught her chin. He kept her in place, kept her in his adoring gaze as he silently assured her with every gesture that there was nothing to fear from him. He was there for her, no matter what. Maybe she believed that whole heartedly, but she didn't know if she truly deserved such dedication.
"But sometimes you can't give the truth. Sometimes you have to lie or keep secrets to protect yourself or others. Like Chat Noir," Something shifted in his gaze as he paused, his eyes slowly going over her face like he was seeing her for the first time all over again. "Or Ladybug." Whatever he was searching for, whatever conclusion he reached, he silently locked it up inside before his eyes refocused. "They have to keep their identity secret, and they probably have to keep lying to their loved ones about what they do, to keep their civilian lives safe from supervillains."
His hands slipped down her arm, taking her own hands in his and bringing them up to his lips. He kissed her fingers. Not romantically, not like a loving kiss, but a soft, sensitive kiss you'd give to a bruise to 'make it better'. "At the end of the day, only you can decide when the time is the right time."
"I didn't say-" She ended up swallowing any protest, realizing how obvious it was. After all, her topic or obsession with secrets and lies would make no sense if it wasn't something she was struggling with. But that also meant Adrien knew she was keeping things from him, a thought that made her eyes shimmer with traces of shameful tears, ashamed at how blatantly she 'deceived' him. "Sorry."
Adrien shook his head, "Hey, I trust you, Marinette."
Marinette scoffed, "Yeah, but I don't trust me. You've seen how I can get."
She had to admit that she felt a tad offended when he rolled his eyes at that remark, as if he hadn't spent four years being knocked on his ass because of Marinette's danger-prone nature. "I don't trust you to be perfect." He leaned forward, holding her tight, holding her so close she could never doubt how much he never wanted to let go. "I do trust that, if the secret you're keeping turns out to be the wrong one, you'll take responsibility and try to fix it like you always do."
Adrien laughed, though whether it was good natured or simply to break the tension, Marinette did not know. "A few well-intentioned lies aren't gonna turn you into Lila."
It wasn't the perfect answer. It didn't give her a 'Get Out of Guilt Free' card. It simply told her that there was nuance to this problem, that if she did ultimately regret her decision, there was still time to undo it. He trusted her, and that was enough for today.
She hugged him back, hoping her embrace could match even half of the power of his grip. "Thank you, Adrien." She sighed, just content to breathe him in, this moment in, for just another second.
"I just hope you know that I'm here, and I've been told I'm a pretty good listener."
She giggled, such a simple quip and yet it already cleared the air choking her lungs. "You sound worried."
Adrien raised his hand as he pulled away, his forefinger and thumb pinching a tiny sliver of space. "Only a little." A thoughtful expression takes over him, pushing his eyes into a squint. "You know, sometimes, you remind me of my dad."
Marinette's face paled, barely able to hold back the need to scream, to vomit at such a horrid comparison. "Not the compliment you give your girlfriend."
Some of his fingers found their way into her hair, twisting and pulling on her dark locks. "It's not entirely a compliment here. You're both stubborn." That forlorn expression came out once more, but this time he didn't attempt to push it away. He wore it out in the open, exposing his raw nerves before her. "He never told me about his condition. He lied about it, and that just made it all harder to handle."
The thought of Gabriel's 'disease', a twisted side-effect of a cataclysm blast that slowly rotted his insides away, made her skin itch. Another reason to not tell Adrien the truth was Chat Noir. What if Adrien blamed Chat for Gabriel's death? What if he did something stupid and tried to go after Chat? She didn't think she could take the two people she trusted the most in the world being at each other's throats.
Adrien's voice, sounding lighter to Marinette's relief, snapped her back to reality. "Though, I guess I do find it kind of relieving that it wasn't the disease that killed him. He had to go down taking out Hawkmoth."
It was then it dawned on Marinette that Adrien wasn't simply talking about being stubborn in general, but specifically being stubborn about their condition. Adrien was worried her secret had fatal implications, that she'd end up just like his father. Like his mother. Like what was almost Nathalie. That he'd be alone again.
She couldn't stop the pin-sized droplets of tears spitting at her cheeks as she pulled his free hand over to her forehead, letting him feel the heat pouring through her body, the heat solely caused by his presence. "I'm 100% healthy, Adrien. I'm not leaving you… I'm staying right here."
"Just make sure to tell me if that ever changes, huh?"
"You're right, I've got a lot of stuff I've been keeping under wraps." It was progress. It wasn't a full-on confession, but it was progress and it managed to make her feel the pressure lighten. Meeting the truth halfway. "I know I want to tell you, but I don't know if I'm ready to."
"Well, you've got a lot of time to prepare." He kissed her again, and this one was the passionate, romantic searing kiss where he cradled her in his arms like he feared she was falling. "It's okay, Mari. Really. I'll wait for you to be ready to tell me; even if it takes until the end of the world."