Stand By Me
Chapter 46: Stand By Me
Sans walked for a long, long while before he finally returned to the apartment. He was so tired. So drained. And most definitely drunk. Not drunk enough. He just wanted to sit down with a nice drink and relax for a bit. Sans sighed as he stood outside the apartment door, hands deep in his pockets. He needed a smoke, his bones were rattling. That dream was still flashing through his mind, and he felt the sudden urge to check on Frisk to make sure that they were okay.
Sans pressed on the door and found it unlocked, slipping inside silently, walking in on a rather loud conversation emanating from the kitchen.
"-and actually take a shower for once, you reek of bourbon," he could hear Richard's clipped tone as he chastised his brother. Sans stood in the doorway and leaned against the door frame,watching silently. "And do you have to have so much damned pizza in here, can't you eat healthily for once in your life?"
"Yes, Richard," Blake replied numbly as he sat at the table, filling out paperwork with a pen.
"Sign there as well, we need that turned in yesterday," Richard jabbed a pointy finger at the papers, frowning. "And there. And here. Sign here. Also here."
"Yes, Richard."
"You're just saying that out of habit by this point, aren't you."
"Yes, Richard," Blake stated quietly. Richard sighed heavily and pinched his pointy nose, glancing over to Sans.
"Oh, good, you're here," Richard said without a single hint of emotion. "Get over here. I need your signatures."
"For what?" Sans blinked at him.
"The adoption process," he explained, lifting up a sheaf of papers. "Also eye witness testimony."
"Testimony?" he thought quickly. "For what?"
"He's actually doing it," Blake rubbed his temples. "That Mai guy. We've got an order to appear in court in a month."
"Well I'll be damned," Sans grinned. "That bastard must be dumber than he looks."
"I'm also going to need your cellphone," Richard continued quietly. Sans dug in his pocket for a moment before dropping it into his outstretched, spider like hand.
"What, you need to make a call or sommat?" Sans frowned.
"No. Blake informed me that you got a picture of the…" his lips pursed tightly as he checked the phone, his face paling a little. He tapped it a few times and closed his eyes tightly for a brief moment, looking as if he were in deep pain. It was probably the most emotion that Sans had ever seen out of the man. "… We're going to need this as evidence. We're gathering everything that we can. We're taking that putrid feculant tapered-dicked troglodyte down ."
"You're actually helping us," Sans said, a little bit of disbelief in his voice.
"Of course I am," Richard said matter of factly, handing him back his phone. "I help my family."
Sans couldn't help but grin a little bit. Maybe there was a tiny smidge of decency in Richard after all.
"Where's everybody else at?" Sans asked quietly after watching them scribble on the papers.
"Undyne and Alphys insisted on taking Asgore and Toriel out to lunch," Blake said after a moment, pulling at his ear ring. "Picking up some stuff for F- I mean, Asriel. He didn't wanna go anywhere, he pretty much stopped talking to anybody as soon as Paps left. Papyrus said he had to go get furnishings or something. Can't… can't believe you guys are really moving out already."
Blake looked utterly depressed at the thought. Sans was silent for a moment before placing a hand on his shoulder.
"… You realize we're just outside of Ebott and you can come see us literally any time you want, right?" Sans asked softly with a little grin. "Told ya, buddy. Just not the same without you."
Blake flushed a little bit, rubbing the back of his neck and beaming at him.
"… Thanks, man."
"If you're quite finished," Richard said somewhat rudely, motioning toward the paperwork.
"O-oh. Yeah. Right, right, sorry Richie."
"Don't call me that."
"Yes, Richard."
Sans left the brothers to their paperwork and wandered in to the living room, where he found Frisk sitting in the dark with their head in their hands. He let out a quiet sigh and carefully sat down beside them, wrapping an arm around their shoulder. Frisk mumbled something that he couldn't make out, and he just sat there and held them for a while. He assumed that Asriel was still in Blake's room, as he couldn't really picture them taking the terrified child anywhere. Then again, he could hardly imagine them leaving Asriel alone for any amount of time, but maybe that was for the best. Sans certainly didn't want to be around him. Maybe if Sans got lucky he could just grab the little furry bastard and drown him in a tub of acid.
Boiling acid.
"… Sans," Frisk said after a moment, drawing their legs up underneath them and hugging him.
"Yeah, babybones."
"… My belly hurts." Shit.
"How… how you holdin' up, kiddo?" Sans asked after a moment, trying to pretend that they hadn't spoken. "You… you sure you're doin' alright, what with the whole… soul thing?"
"Which part?" Frisk frowned, somewhat bitter sounding.
"K-keep it down…?" he pleaded quietly, petting their hair. "I… I sent some messages to Al. After she gets back we're gonna hoof it back to the lab. Get some tests done. See if we can… fix this."
"I just wanted him to live…" Frisk muttered, burying their face in his jacket. "… Sans."
"Yeah, babybones."
"You smell like booze."
Sans cringed. He didn't need to be hearing that from Frisk. It made his chest ache.
"And… smoke," Frisk said after a moment, not pulling away as they rubbed their cheek against him softly. "Hm. And doggie biscuits, and ketchup."
"Kinda weirdin' me out a little," Sans said uncomfortably. "I'm not too sure what I smell like," he grinned, pointing at his face. "Y'know, what with the lack of nose and all."
"You would look silly with a nose," Frisk rubbed his cheeks with the palms of their hands, sidling up until they were sitting in his lap. "I like you just the way that you are."
"Heh. You're a good kid, Frisk," Sans said softly, kissing them on the forehead. Frisk blushed a little and mumbled something, but Sans couldn't make it out.
"Didn't quite catch that…" he pointed to the side of his head. "See? No ears, either."
Frisk giggled lightly, and it felt like his soul was floating. God how he'd missed that sound. He hardly even realized just how badly he wanted to hear it again until he actually did, and it was like music to his soul.
"I said I like your smell…" Frisk whispered, and he felt a light heat in his cheeks as they held his face in their hands. "I missed it. I missed you."
"I missed you too, babybones," Sans hugged them lightly. "C'mon. I wasn't gone that long."
"… Please don't leave me alone again," Frisk said softly, and it felt like his chest was being pinched. "I… really wanted you to stay."
"You have a… few words with the plant food?" Sans jammed a thumb toward Blake's bedroom, and Frisk frowned.
"You should be nicer to him…" their brows furrowed a bit.
"You do remember what he did to you, right?" Sans growled a little bit, causing them to flinch. "To us ? There's words for sick freaks like that."
"I… still forgive him…" they pulled away and rubbed their arms sadly. He wanted to tell them off. He wanted to instill just how important it was that they stay away from that thing pretending to be a traumatized child. But what a double standard that would be, when he wanted to be forgiven for the horrid things that he had said, that he had done. To his kid. To his little babybones.
Sans only sighed after a moment and hugged them tightly. Frisk pressed their face into his shoulder, letting out a long, heavy breath.
"… You don't smell like anybody else…" Frisk said softly after a while. "You're special to me, Sans."
God this kid was so sweet they were going to give him diabetes. Weird, but sweet.
"What, me? And this is comin' from the most special kid in the world?" he kissed their forehead warmly, feeling as though his soul was going to burst. He was just… happy. He could stay here for a while. He could hold on to his little babybones. He could be safe. He could feel their soul beating warmly as though they never tore a part of it off, like the sheer amount of love that they had in them was spreading through him like wildfire and he just couldn't get enough of it. Frisk beamed at him softly, brushing his cheek with their hand. Their eyes were half lidded and they had a small, pleased smile on their lips, looking a little flushed.
"… You okay, babybones…?" Sans asked for a moment, feeling their forehead. They were very warm, and it made him a bit uneasy.
"I just missed your smell. M-makes me think… what do you taste like?"
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
"… Sorry, what?" he blinked, struggling to remain calm. Frisk wiggled in his lap and pressed their hot forehead to his, that odd little smile still on their face. He was sweating intensely and he desperately needed to keep his mind clear, or his lap was going to be a very uncomfortable place for them to be. "Care-care ta repeat that?"
"Please, Sans…" Frisk murmured against the side of his head softly, kissing his cheek. "I-I just… please. I just need it. I just need a little,
please…?"
Ah.
So that's what their game was.
He felt disgusting.
More than that, he felt manipulative. They were pushing him over the brink, and if he slipped, even for a moment… There would be no going back.
Sans wiped a bead of sweat from his head, clearing his throat. He felt like he was being watched, even though there was nobody else around and he could still hear Blake and his brother in the kitchen. That's what he had to do. He had to keep reminding himself of where he was. When he was. Had to stay firmly focused on the present. Couldn't afford to let his mind wander to those dark corners. He had to stay determined.
"I… I can't," he said simply after a while, noting their crestfallen expression. "I just… I just can't, babybones."
"Please…?" Frisk pouted with their little lip sticking out, and Sans felt as though he had a fever. This was bad, this was so bad, he needed to focus, he needed to stay calm . And that small feat was getting steadily harder and harder with every passing moment. "Please, Sansy… I was good. Was I not good enough…? I can be really good for you…"
"F-Frisk…" Sans's voice came out in barely above a whisper as he grasped their shoulders, and he was practically sweating bullets. "Ss-stop . You're… you're forcin' me into some ultimatums here that I rreally, really don't wanna face right now. You're - I mean, y-you're in trouble right now. Remember last night?"
Frisk shifted on his lap (oh god please stop doing that focus focus focus stay CALM ) and pulled at their shirt sleeves nervously. They glanced up at him with a little glint in their eyes that made him supremely uneasy.
"I was bad…" Frisk nodded after a moment, a little twitch to their lips.
They leaned forward and rubbed their cheek against his, whispering. "… Shouldn't you punish me for that…?"
Wasn't this punishment? Was this not retribution for his sins? And, god. He had so, so many sins. He could feel them crawling all over his back, he was so vile. His stomach was turning in knots and he had to steady his breathing, ever so gently giving them a small hug.
"Just… just-just, please," he begged after a moment. "You're… you're killin' me. You're slowly killing me here, kiddo."
"I don't want you to be sad…" Frisk murmured softly, running their fingernails over his head and making him shiver. "I just… want you to be happy."
"You still don't get it…?" he pulled away a little, forcing them to look him in the eyes. "All I need is you an' Paps. You do make me happy. Every time I see you, babybones. I-"
Sans couldn't quite finish when Frisk started silently crying, dropping their head and hiding behind their curtain of hair. He kicked himself inwardly for making them cry, hushing them and holding them close. And you made it worse. Way to go.
"Shit, shit, I-I… c'mon, babybones…" Sans said softly, brushing their hair. "Don't cry. Please."
"I l-love you, Sans," Frisk wiped their eyes as fresh tears spilled down their cheeks in a torrent. They kissed his cheek gently and hugged him as tightly as they could, like if they let go they would just fall forever.
"I love you too, babybones."
"… P-p-please…" Frisk was trembling by this point, their cheeks flushed. "S-Sans… I-I just… I need it, you s-said you l-loved me…?"
It felt like his soul was being slowly ripped in half. Hell, Frisk knew plenty about that, maybe they could relate. He only hushed them and rocked them back and forth, holding on to them silently as they pressed their face into his chest.
Just say no.
That's all you have to do.
Say no.
But if they die againThey won't. Just say no.
Be responsible.
Be a good person.
Why is that such a difficult task for you.
Just say no.
God help him, it was so hard.
Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't he just return to simpler times when he didn't have to care about anything or anyone? Love was strenuous. It took so much effort and it felt like he was slowly breaking apart, but there was no way that he could stop loving them, no matter how badly he wanted to.
"S-Sansy…" Frisk whispered pleadingly, grasping his hand in theirs, interlocking their fingers. "Please… I"m… hungry. I'll be g-good…" "Don't do this to me…" he whimpered, the despair clawing at his chest. "C'mon, k-kiddo. Don't.. don't make me beg. I will if I have to."
"Beg…?" Frisk asked softly after a moment. "I'm good at that… I-I'll. I'll g-get on my k-knees and-"
"Frisk. Frisk," Sans covered their mouth with his hand, feeling far too sweaty, too uncomfortable, too observed. "Don't - fuck me sideways, don't say things like that," he stuttered uneasily.
"I just need it… !" Frisk's voice was rising a little, making his spine prickle. "M-my insides hurt, I n-need it Sans…"
"O-okay…" he heaved after what felt like an eternity of holding his breath. "Okay. Just… n-not here."
Frisk looked absolutely overjoyed, perking up immediately and bouncing a little. Sans gripped them tightly and closed his eye sockets, taking a deep breath before falling backwards with them into a shortcut. They reentered the world in the bathroom, and Sans fumbled to lock the door behind them. Frisk was shaking slightly, their face red as they held onto him.
"Please," Frisk murmured, pressing up against him and pushing him into the door. "Please, please…"
"Okay, al-alright," he was shaking as well, feeling slightly sick to his stomach. "Lemme see the damage."
Frisk looked at him strangely for a moment.
"Your… your soul," he explained after a moment. "You took it out before. Can… can you do it again?"
Frisk swallowed and nodded, taking a long, slow breath before forming their hands into a heart over their chest. Nothing happened for a moment. Sans got a decent look at their own ability as their fractured soul was ever so carefully drawn out of their chest, floating in their hands. It made his chest ache terribly to see the damage to it, like some terrible beast had bitten off a piece of them. He could feel his anger rising again, knowing full well who was responsible for hurting his little babybones like this. It was still amazing though, seeing that brilliant red glow surrounding
Sans choked.
The white spot had grown .
Not by much. But it had definitely gotten larger than it was before. Sans stood stunned as they ever so gently pushed outward, letting him take their floating soul in his hands. It was broken, but so beautiful, so breathtaking that he forgot to actually breathe for a minute. Oh, god. What was he doing? What had he done to them…? He reached out somewhat sadly, holding their broken floating soul above his palms. He would have guessed that it would be a little floatier considering that part of it was missing, but it seemed to cling around his touch like it was a gravitational attrraction.
"Is… is this where it hurts…?" Sans asked softly, and Frisk rubbed their stomach with one hand. Sans shook his head and carefully, gently as if he were holding fragile glass, softly pressed the soul against Frisk's chest, his phalanges brushing against their soul for just a moment. Frisk gasped a little, eyes widening as they shivered as if in cold.
"Can you make me feel better…?" Frisk was panting at this point, pressing up against him and blocking him to the door. "P-please, please Sans…"
He was so sweaty, so repulsive, so awful . He just wanted them to be okay. That was all that he wanted. He just wanted to see them happy.
He softly, carefully slid his had against their stomach, drawing in a deep breath and reaching for the magic. He focused as intently as he could on his main desire, forcing on thoughts of healing, of hope, of happiness. How much trust that they were placing in him to literally put their very soul in his hands. He just wanted them to know that they were safe. That they were loved. And that no matter how much it hurt, no matter how hard it was, he would try and keep pushing forward with all of the love that he had to give.
A violent green spark emitted from his fingertips and sizzled into their body, causing them to jerk and shudder as if jolted by an electric current. A wide, euphoric grin spread over Frisk's lips, their eyes beginning to roll back into their head as they moaned softly, a sliver of drool beginning to leak from the corner of their mouth as they wept openly. Sans froze immediately, feeling like being ill, feeling things that he didn't want to. He clasped a hand over their mouth tightly, his breathing labored as his chest tightened in fear. It was too late, though. He could hear footsteps in the hall, and ice flooded his bones.
… FUCK.
"… You okay?" he heard Blake just outside the door.
"Y-yep," Sans answered in a voice quieter than he intended. "Just, uh - just-just givin' the kiddo a bath!" he lied quickly, shaking so badly that he was surprised that he was even still standing.
"Oh. Alright then," he heard the footsteps stalk away, Richard complaining about something from the kitchen. Sans let out a sigh of immense relief, and it intertwined with his deep self loathing in a strange way. He realized after a moment that his hand was still clasped tightly over Frisk's mouth, and he met their eyes for a moment.
And then they started licking his hand.
"Okay," he withdrew immediately, the ever more present screaming in the back of his mind louder than his foul thoughts. "Okay, wow, no. No, no, absolutely not, F-Frisk, what-what the fuck ."
"Thank you…" Frisk whispered, leaning into him with shaking legs. "Oh god, finally. Th-thank you Sans. Thank you."
"Don't fuckin' thank me," he growled deeply, causing them to flinch a little. "This isn't… this ain't happening again. I just… I can't," Sans pleaded, trying to emphasize just how badly it was tearing him apart. "Stop doin ' this to me! I just can't, I-I… !"
He could feel hot stinging in the corners of his eye sockets, and he had to close them and take a slow, shaking breath, letting out a despairing whimper. God he was pathetic, he hated himself so much, heat was rising in his cheeks. He couldn't push them away like he wanted to, no matter how badly he wanted to keep them away, to stay away from himself, he just couldn't. There was no way out. It was like he had never left the Underground at all, there was no way out.
Oh god.
Oh god, what in the actual fuck is wrong with me.
"Sans. Sansy," Frisk hushed him softly, placing a gentle finger over his mouth. "Shh. Don't be sad. Okay? I feel better now. Thank you."
"Hell," he caved in and let them hug him as he sobbed dryly. "I'm in hell."
"Don't cry, Sans…" Frisk brushed his tears away with their hand, smiling kindly up at him and giving him a chaste peck on the cheek. He stared for a moment when they pulled out towels from the cabinet.
"… What are you doin'?" Sans croaked, his throat feeling far too dry.
"I thought you were giving me a bath…?" Frisk said slowly, staring at him.
They were doing this on purpose. They had to be.
They were fucking with him.
The anger exploded inside him as his eye flashed a violent blue, cyan flame bursting out from his skull in a little flare. He clasped his hand over it, but it was too late. Frisk slipped backwards and fell onto the floor, desperately trying to hide behind the towel as he struggled to keep himself under control. Frisk sobbed fearfully, cringing and cowering behind their arms and oh god what the fuck am I doing?!
Sans took a long, unsteady breath and snuffed out the fire in his eye, grasping his head and struggling to keep his breathing under control. Frisk was sniffling and crying miserably, rocking back and forth against the tub and shaking terribly. He felt all the resistance drain out of him at the sight as he dropped to his knees, crawling a little over to them to sit with them and just hold them, just keep them close until they could stop sobbing hysterically.
"Shh. Hush, I-I'm sorry, I'm so fuckin' sorry," Sans felt like a jackhammer was going off in his chest. "Oh god. Oh shit I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry baby, don't-don't cry, don't cry babybones. Shh. It's okay," he rocked them softly, brushing their hair with his phalanges. "Shh. C'mon. Don't cry. It's okay. It's okay. You don't gotta be afraid. I didn't mean ta scare ya. It's okay. Shh. Don't cry Frisky-bits. Babybones. Mai babybones. It's okay. It's okay ."
Sans wasn't sure for how long they just sat there.
He wanted to hold on to them until the flood of tears stopped.
He wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
He wanted to just make it better.
He just wanted it all to end .
He could still feel their soul beating weakly against him, and he was tempted to draw it out to observe it. He was sure that from the way that Frisk was now it must have hurt. His babybones. His poor little babybones. He could still see that euphoric, ecstasy filled look of joy on their face in his mind. He was doing this. It was his fault. He was the worst possible thing for them, he wasn't helping, he was making it worse and why couldn't he just stop?
Maybe this really was hell. He was trapped in an eternal punishment with no way out, being served retribution for his countless sins staining his filthy soul. Papyrus would never want to speak to him again. Grillby would be so disappointed in him. He was almost begging to be executed by this point. God knew he deserved it.
But that look on their face fueled that little spark in his chest, a delightfully twisted little flame that refused to die out.
And for just a few moments, Sans pondered deeply and wondered if he truly understood hunger.
It was a long time before he could get Frisk to stop crying. They sniffled miserably and held his hand, and he held out his sleeve to let them wipe their nose. He didn't care. His jacket really was getting disgusting, he needed to wash the thing like Papyrus kept reminding him to do. He was just so tired. He was so damned tired. It felt like his bones had been dipped in water, it was hard to move. Difficult to think clearly. Like his thoughts were all clouded and he couldn't focus properly. All he knew was the small bathroom and Frisk that he cradled in his arms, gently rocking them back and forth as he tried to still their trembling.
He just wanted them to be okay.
Once. Just once he wanted things to be okay.
Was that really so much to ask?
"I'm sorry," Sans murmured for what must have been the hundredth time. He softly brushed their hair with his phalanges, whispering sweet nothings to them. "I'm so sorry. Please don't cry, babybones. It's okay. Shh. Please, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Frisk mumbled something and tried to dry their wet eyes with the palms of their hands, hiding their face against his shoulder. He didn't know for how long they just sat there. He didn't care. He would stay there with them for all eternity if they asked him to. Hell, they didn't even have to ask. He would be there for them regardless.
They were so afraid.
God, he really was scum. Couldn't he keep himself under control for five minutes? Why was that such a difficult task for him? All he had to do was not be a dick. It wasn't that hard. It wasn't enough to be sorry, and he knew it, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't afford to let something like this happen again. He didn't want it to. They were so scared of him. So terrified. And yet they clung to him like they needed him to breathe. This was so messed up on so many different levels. He just wanted them to be okay. That was all he wanted. He didn't want them to be afraid of him.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered to them gently, holding them close. "I-I didn't mean ta scare ya, babybones. Shh. It's okay."
"I'm not scared," Frisk lied blatantly, and he could easily see right through them. "I'm… I'm n-not. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he apologized over and over again. "You-you don't gotta be scared. Not of me. You don't gotta be scared of magic. It's okay, babybones. L-look…" he held out his hand with his palm up, summoning a little blue spark of magic that danced over his phalanges. It flickered and shimmered dimly, casting little shadows over his hand. He noticed that Frisk was holding their breath and had fallen very still, and he gently held them closer with his free arm.
"It's alright. It-it really is…" Sans said softly, holding out his hand for them to take it. Frisk looked
back and forth between him and the spark tentatively before ever so slowly reaching out for it with a couple of fingertips, letting it brush against them. Frisk gasped a little when the spark bounced playfully, like it was reaching up from his palm to touch them. It sizzled out of existence when Sans slowly closed his hand around theirs, looking into their widened eyes.
"… See?" he said softly, giving their hand a gentle little squeeze. "It's… it's really okay. You don't have to be scared. Please, babybones. You don't ever gotta be scared. 'Specially not of… not of me. Please."
"It feels… good," Frisk said after a pause. "Wow. It feels… it feels so good . Can… can y-you… show me more…?
"Maybe later, babybones…" Sans said softly, holding them as gently as he could. The experiment had yielded different results than he anticipated. It wasn't green magic, he knew that. So why were they reacting like this…? Maybe it was just him. Maybe it wasn't the green magic at all. Maybe he was the problem. His question had yielded an answer, and it wasn't one he wanted. He was corrupted. He was corrupting them just by being around them, he was so awful and they just kept forgiving him and god it hurt that they looked at him with so much love, so much mercy.
Sans was not a religious person. But he wanted to pray. He wanted to pray to something. To anyone that would listen, to just make things better. To keep their fear and worry at bay. He didn't want them to be afraid of him. Not of him. It hurt, it ached so badly that they trembled at his touch, that they were still shaking. He just wanted them to be okay .
"… My belly still hurts…" Frisk said after a long while of silence. Sans sighed quietly through his nostril bone, petting their hair.
"I'm sorry, babybones" he said softly. "I can't… I'm sorry I can't make it go away."
"Maybe…" they squeezed his hand a little, giving him a gentle smile. "Maybe-maybe you… c-can…"
"Let's just get you a bath already, huh?" Sans said quickly, feeling too sweaty and uncomfortable. "C'mon, kiddo. We're takin' forever in here. When we've gotten you all cleaned up, what do you say we go check out the new place, huh? I'm sure Paps has gotten some stuff for the new place by now. You wanna go see it before we hoof it down to th' lab with Alphys?"
Frisk looked away for a moment, their brows furrowed. However, they did nod after a little bit, hugging him tightly.
"O-okay…" their voice was soft and shaky. "Okay, Sans."
"Hey. I… I love you, babybones."
"I love you too, Sans," Frisk hugged him again. Sans sighed after a while, pulling himself up off the floor and beginning to draw them a bath. He ensured that the water wasn't too hot, filling up the tub with far too many bubbles from the soap, but he didn't care. He rubbed shampoo into their hair and helped them wash in almost complete silence, unable to quite look away from the mark on their back.
That mark.
That goddamned mark.
He could feel the rage slowly beginning to broil in his bones once again, and he had to take a deep, slow breath and look away for a few seconds. He didn't need to go getting angry again. He was just so bitter that anyone had hurt his little babybones, that they were still out there somewhere. He was so utterly livid, so completely furious .
He realized that his hands were shaking over their mark, and Frisk was completely silent. He let out a shuddering breath and closed his eye sockets, gently brushing his fingertips over the mark. They shivered a little at his touch, clasping their arms to their chest and shaking.
"… Did… did your dad do this to you, babybones…?" Sans asked after a while. He heard Frisk swallow loudly and they shook their head a little, hair falling over their eyes. "Okay. Okay, kiddo. Just… just a name. That's all I need. Just their name."
"You'll do something bad…" Frisk said after a moment, not looking at him.
"I won't do anything to 'em," he lied through his teeth. "I just wanna know who did this. So-so we can put 'em away, where they can't hurt anybody else. You don't want anybody else to get hurt like-like this. Do you?"
God he was foul. He was so fucking manipulative, but he was doing it for the right reason he had to be he was hurting them he was just like him and it made him want to puke. Frisk had frozen up completely, trembling in the water and burying their face in their hands.
… Shit. You just can't keep your mouth shut.
"… Just forget about it," Sans held their shoulder gently, rinsing the soap from their hair. "You… you don't gotta say anything. Okay?"
Frisk only shivered and shook, covering their face with their hands. A surge of guilt coursed through his chest and he sighed quietly, brushing their wet locks with his phalanges and petting their hair.
"It's gonna be okay," he promised softly. "I swear, babybones. It's all gonna be okay."
If they heard him, they did not reply.
Sans did not consider himself a religious person. But in that moment, he silently prayed. Prayed to anyone. He prayed to find the bastard that hurt his little baby.
And god help them when he finally got his hands around their filthy necks. He was going to find them one way or another, he had a bone to pick with anyone that even thought about hurting his family.
Rip their hearts out through their chests and fucking eat it in front of
them, putrid motherfuckers I swear to god I'll slaughter every goddamned one of them-
Sans had to still his shaking phalanges and steady his breathing, closing his eye sockets for a moment. Frisk seemed to notice his distress and held his hand, giving him that soft, sad little smile. He felt his soul melt a little bit, his anger that he wanted to hang on to so badly slowly sifting away. He sighed a little and rubbed their head, unable to contain a little smile of his own. He really was just putty in their hands. He really did have difficulty staying angry when they looked at him like that. Sans helped them dry and got them clean clothes that they had bought previously, spending a while drying their hair and just letting them hug him. He didn't care if he got wet. He just wanted to stay like this for a while. In a safe place. He just wanted them to be happy. He wanted it more than anything in the world.
He would make them happy, somehow.
Even if the only way to do that was to bring back their 'father's' head on a silver platter. That was a thought that Sans fantasized about for quite a while, silently wondering just how much Frisk would hate him if he butchered that bastard like raw meat. Even though he wanted to hang on to it, he wanted to be angry, to be vengeful, to be vicious and take out his anger on someone, anyone, he just couldn't do it. Not when they looked at him with so much mercy in their eyes, so much forgiveness, so much love. No matter how badly he wanted to stay furious, they just warmed his heart with that little smile and soft touch, making his soul melt a little more.
Maybe for just a little while, he could try to be happy.
Maybe just for a little while.
Sans knocked on the door a couple of times, readjusting his slightly damp jacket. He didn't bother waiting for a reply, cracking open the door to see Asriel huddled atop the blankets on the bed, staring blankly at the wall.
"… Hey," Sans greeted him to no response. "Just, uh. Wanted to check up on ya."
"Is Papyrus back yet?" Asriel asked softly, not looking away from the corner of the room. His eyes were wide and he appeared to be staring at something a mile away.
"Nope, he's still out."
"Then I don't want to talk," he replied somewhat bitterly, crossing his arms and closing his emerald eyes. "Please. Just… I need to see Papyrus."
"He'll be back soon," Sans shrugged. "Sure you don't wanna talk to your folks?"
"I can't see them…" Asriel frowned deeply, rubbing his eyes. "I just…
I just can't. Please. Please, don't… don't make me see them again. II can't… !" he took a deep, shuddering breath, his shoulders shaking as he dropped his head. "P-please. I've al-already hurt them. So much. I just… I just can't. Not anymore. Please. I just need to be alone ."
"Alright…" Sans said after a moment, the turmoil in his chest not easy to ignore. He stood by the edge of the bed for what felt like hours, not moving at all before he reached out for him. Asriel flinched deeply, but Sans only placed a hand on his shoulder.
"… Paps will be back soon," he said quietly. "Don't freak out. He's just stopping back by here for a while though. We're gonna go check out the new place. You, uh. You… wanna come too?"
What was he doing ?
He couldn't trust him. He couldn't trust this thing masquerading as a child, no matter how much he cried. No matter how miserable and shocked he looked. No matter if he seemed so much like a traumatized little kid. No matter how much he reminded him of his little babybones.
"I… I can't," Asriel said simply, dropping his head into his hands.
"Just… I need to be alone. I don't want to talk to anyone except Papyrus. Please. Just… I should be left alone."
"I don't really think that bein' alone is all that good for ya right now…" Sans's grip on his shoulder tightened a little, gently but firmly. "So, uh. Blake's a pretty cool guy, once you get to know him. You ever… you ever seen a Disney flick?" Asriel only stared at him.
"So, uh. Guessin' that's a no, then. Me and Frisky-bits are gonna watch some of the boob tube until Paps gets back. Why don't you, uh. Y'know. Come with us?"
"Why?" Asriel sobbed dryly, clasping his head in his hands and looking away. "W-why… why are you b-being so nice to me…?"
There were a great many things that Sans wanted to say. Even more things that he wanted to do. But he wasn't even certain of how to properly respond to that. He only sighed quietly, shaking his head.
"There's no point…" Asriel rocked a little back and forth. "They're going to reset. It's so pointless. It'll happen and then I'll be a flower again and I won't feel anything and I'll hurt everyone again and I-I-I can't, I just can't… !"
"Kiddo. Kid. Hey. Hey, listen," Sans brushed his hair out of his eyes, forcing him to look at him. Asriel froze in fear, his whole being shaking. "Listen. Buddy. Of course everything is pointless. That don't mean you gotta let it get to you. Nothing really matters on a cosmic scale, none of us have any stake in the universe, today might be tomorrow in the morning and someday all of us are going to have to face death alone. It sucks. Come watch TV with us and forget about all this junk for a while. Okay?"
Asriel didn't speak. He didn't move. He didn't even respond at all.
Asriel only emerged from the bedroom after a long, hushed talk with Frisk. Sans couldn't quite make out what they were saying through the door, as Frisk had requested a bit of privacy with him, and Sans had to fight the mysteriously jealous urge in his chest. He didn't want to be separated from his little babybones. He wanted to hear everything that was going on, he wanted to know what was in their mind, how they would speak to him. He wanted to know so much. Besides, it wasn't paranoid. He was just being… cautious . But they had only asked for a short time alone with the prince. He wasn't being paranoid. He wasn't crazy. He wasn't. He was just being… protective.
If he even harms a hair on their head I'll blast that little fucker from here to kingdom come.
… Maybe he was being just a smidgen overprotective.
"This," Frisk held up the box for Asriel to see. "This is The Little Mermaid."
"What is it…?" Asriel asked quietly as Sans helped him onto the couch, settling down on the end of the sofa. The… thing wasn't great at walking. Frisk cuddled up beside him comfortably, squeezing his hand and Asriel's at the same time.
"It's a story about a beautiful princess who lives under the water who wants to be on the surface with all of her friends," Frisk explained quietly as the movie began to play. "But an evil witch steals her voice, and she finds her happy ending by the power of true love." "Sounds like a trashy story…" Asriel grumbled in disgust, but Frisk only squeezed his hand and nodded toward the screen as music started to play. Sans tried not to let his worry show, closing his eye sockets as Frisk hugged him, giving him that soft smile again that made his insides feel so warm. Sans squeezed them back, only smiling back. He wanted to tell them so much. He wanted to talk to them about so many things, but what was he even supposed to say? He couldn't even begin. He was just so tired.
He didn't sleep, though.
He didn't want… those dreams to come back. Instead Sans only sat with his eye sockets half lidded, drifting in and out as Frisk held onto him. He could live with that. He just wanted to hold them close. He wasn't sleeping with that fuck nearby. It would be an easy matter to rip him a new one if he tried anything. He was hoping for it, just a bit. No matter what they faced, he wanted them to know that he would be there for them, whenever they needed. He would stand by them no matter what. He could feel their soul beating warmly beside him, and it helped to sooth his roiling thoughts. For just a while, he could pretend.
"… So," Sans jolted a little at the sound of Richard's voice, and he glanced up to the sharp nosed human standing beside him with his arms crossed. Had he fallen asleep? "Working hard I see. Becoming an actual citizen is going to be difficult for you."
Sans only held a finger to his teeth, nodding to the enraptured children sitting beside him. Richard
frowned and gripped his arms, staring at him. He did, however, lower his voice a little.
"Do you mind speaking with me for a moment?" Richard nodded toward the kitchen. Sans sighed and ever so slowly released Frisk, patting them on the hair. They looked at him a little worriedly, but he only shook his head.
"I'll just be a little bit, babybones," he said softly as he stood. Frisk frowned but nodded, holding on to Asriel's hand a little tighter. Sans followed the human into the kitchen where Blake was hard at work, pen flashing over papers as fast as he could manage.
"Okay, so, uh…" Blake rubbed the back of his head, looking at him tiredly. "We've finally got the adoption papers filled out. Frisk is legally going to be placed under my care, until we can get them transferred officially to you once monsters get their citizenship."
"I cannot thank you enough," Sans placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling at him warmly. Blake flushed a little at his wide grin, pulling at his ear ring a little. "I mean it, man. Thank you."
"I-it's really n-not a big deal…" Blake shook his head a bit. "Really, man. Don't-don't even worry about it."
"That is not all that we need to discuss," Richard interjected quietly. "You're going to need to take Frisk to a psychiatrist."
"A shrink?" Sans blinked at him, folding his arms. "For what?"
"Nothing serious," Richard's brows furrowed a little. "Except it is. Just for further evidence to use in court. It'll be better this way. From the way that they act I wouldn't be surprised if there was a significant amount of psychological abuse inflicted on them. Seeing a professional would be of great assistance to them, I believe. They need to be proven sane enough to testify. Plus, I want as much absolutely damning evidence that we can gather," his fists slowly clenched so tightly that his knuckles began turning white. "Mister 'Gregory Mai' is going to have quite a few friendly cellmates, I should hope."
"I can't wait to take this bastard down," Blake said with his eyes full of determination. "Thank-thank you again, Richie."
"I told you not to call me that," Richard sighed through his pointed nose. "But, yes. I am just as eager to bring this unrepentant filth to justice as you are."
"You… you guys rock," Sans grinned at them softly.
"I'm sure anybody else would have done the same," Blake shrugged.
"I doubt it," Sans patted him on the shoulder. "You aren't just anybody, y'know. So, uh. When Paps gets back, we're gonna go see what he's done to the new place. I can't really talk Asriel into even leavin' the house. Barely got 'im outta one room. You mind…?"
"You actually got him to talk? And yeah, don't even have to finish that sentence, I've got you covered, man," Blake said with a hint of pride in his voice. "You need me and I'll stand by you. Me and Richie can hold down the fort for a while."
"I believe that it would be best for this… revived child to see someone as well," Richard dug in his pocket and pulled out a business card, handing it to Sans. "Speak to her as soon as you can. Doctor Johar is a very good woman. I am certain that she will assist you to the best of her ability."
"… Y'know," Sans beamed up at him. "I didn't really like you at first. You're kinda like anal. Hard to get used to in the beginning, but I'm really warmin' up to ya."
Blake snorted hard, covering his blushing face as Richard stared at him blankly.
"Yes, that… certainly was a… metaphor," he said, clearly uncomfortable. "Regardless. I'll have the paperwork turned in and see what I can do about your citizenship applications. The mayor called, by the way. He is requesting an audience with your little… ambassador," he frowned a little. "A dinner party for tomorrow night at the city hall after his little chat with the king and queen about the prince, I believe that it would be best to attend."
Sans sighed and closed his eye sockets for a moment. He knew that Frisk wasn't good with crowds. Maybe he could help them somehow, let them know that he would be nearby if they needed him. But Frisk was a tough cookie. They could handle just about anything that life threw at them. They were so much stronger than him. He nodded a couple of times, tucking the card into his pocket.
"Thanks, man."
"Don't mention it," Richard said emotionlessly. "I should get going."
"You sure you don't need a place to stay…?" Blake asked after a moment. "I mean, there's always room for you here, man."
"Thank you but no thank you," Richard frowned. "I think I'll stay at a hotel. Your apartment reeks of alcohol and stale pizza. Honestly, brother. Get an air freshener or something. I swear every time I walk in here I smell ketchup or something."
"Eh, that's probably me," Sans shrugged digging in the refrigerator for a moment before finding what he was looking for. He drew out the red glass bottle and popped the top off, letting the scent fill him for a moment. Richard started to speak, but froze when Sans began drinking straight from the ketchup bottle. He looked absolutely repulsed .
"Okay," Richard stared at him, looking a little disturbed. "Wow. That is disgusting."
"Hey, don't knock it 'til ya try it," Sans shrugged and took another long swig. "You want some?"
"No, I'm actually with Richie on this one," Blake gawked at him with confused half grin on his lips. "That's… kinda gross, Sans."
"Eh. To each their own," he shrugged again, taking the bottle with him as he left for the living room. He could feel the stares on the back of his head, but he didn't care. Richard and Blake chatted in the kitchen for a while longer. He settled into the couch beside Frisk and they hugged him gently around the shoulders, and he sighed as he hugged them back. He could just stay like this for a while. Even with the mock child not too far away, all attention devoted to the movie, he could relax a little. So long as Asriel didn't try anything funny with his kid around, maybe things would be okay. Just for a while. He had his friends. He had his family. He could just hold on to them for a while and pretend that things would be okay.
Frisk's grip slowly shifted up his arm in the dark, and he noted them smiling softly at him as they rubbed his forearm. What were they even doing? Were they trying to tell him something through their touch? He couldn't fathom what. He just… wanted to stay like this for a while. They ran their fingers up and down his arm as they watched the movie, eventually settling their hand down and interlocking their fingers with his phalanges, sighing quietly and leaning comfortably against him. Sans let out a heavy breath, trying to clear his mind. He did not need to be having awful thoughts at a time like this. He needed to stay calm. He had to stay calm. He could feel Frisk's soul beating softly as they ever so slowly fell asleep against him, still holding his hand the entire time. For a while, he could be happy. He could just hold on to his loved ones and for just a little while, just be… okay.
And that was when he heard the gunshots.